Chapter Forty-Two

Adrien's world was one of haze. Of shifting sensations all drifting into nothingness. Time that lasted forever in a moment, an awareness that could not even acknowledge itself. A reality that was just merely a void. Where whispers reached his ears, the hopeful promises meaning nothing as they slowly slipped away.

He was not always here, a part of him was aware of such, even if awareness was not truly part of this place. It felt more like a memory, a place of soreness and pain he could not truly reach. He did not want to reach it, yet it seemed to drift towards him at times. Become tantalizing close as sounds and stories would reach his mind– but then he'd drift back to the empty.

This time, however, Adrien did not feel himself drifting away as it came over him. Instead it all seemed to sharpen as it drew close– both his awareness, and the pain that pulsed through him. Immediately he rejected it, a part of him instinctively wanting to flee, but these thoughts only seemed to increase the clarity he was feeling.

Slowly the pain became more acute, more vivid to his mind as everything seemed to focus. Adrien shifted, as if to attempt to escape this reality– which only made the pain worse. Muscles seemed to scream instead of moving, causing him to instantly go still again. The movements he could find himself managing were short, jerky. Eyes flickered open to an uncomfortably bright light, before closing again.

A corner of his mind felt that he had been here before, that some part of this was familiar– while another part of him wanted to drift back into the haze he had been in before. Questions swarmed this moment of consciousness. Where? How? What? A confusion that just wanted to know, though what he could not truly touch. He was ready to surrender his alertness to seep back down in the nothingness, when words reached his ears.

"Adrien."

His whole body jerked, eyes fluttering open once more. Fear instantly coursed through him, few good things came from those who called his name. Yes, his name– someone was calling him. From somewhere in this bright room– he wished someone would turn off those lights that were glaring down from above. They never shone like this in his room...

His mind was slowly beginning to take in the sensory cues about him, sinking into reality instead of the haze of his mind. He could make out the fluorescent bulbs above, and the white ceiling. A low beeping was echoing in his ears, so consistent and familiar that despite it not being his normal it felt natural. He was aware of the uncomfortable plastic mass that stretched over his mouth and nose, air trickling through it. It felt thick and humid, and he tried to raise a hand to remove it, before letting it fall as his muscles trembled, barely able to respond to his thoughts.

He felt weak, a low throbbing pain pulsing through him.

"Adrien," a voice called to him– completely unfamiliar. He recognized that they were looking for a response– and probably had been waiting since their first call, which felt like so long ago. He managed to twitch his head slightly towards the sound, the sheets of his bed feeling sticky against his skin as he moved. He felt gross, all of him, and was becoming more uncomfortable the more he was taking in.

He managed to twist his head far enough to make out a bright shape in the midst of all this whiteness– a magenta figure sitting off to his left. His eyes didn't focus on the figure, even as they moved, and so he could take in little about them. Just moving his head seemed to have sapped all his energy, leaving him exhausted as he laid there.

"Ah, this is good," the voice mused– it sounded male, soft and gentle– older. Yet so unfamiliar that Adrien was on alert. His heart was pounding faster, and the beeping in the room seemed to match that. "This is very good, you're alert. Stay with me, Adrien, focus on my voice."

There wasn't anything else to focus on in his exhaustion, except the pain. It pulsed everywhere– but especially in his lungs. His mind was panicking, but any deep breath only hurt, sending speckles of black across his vision. It was just easier to lay there, to let the ventilator over his face slowly guide the air into him. Yet everything was telling him to move, to run, especially as the magenta figure stood, making his way over to Adrien's bed.

"This isn't the first time I've seen you awake like this," the older voice said, coming into proper view for Adrien. Their costume was mostly that vivid magenta, with deep purple stripes wrapped about them. A mask sat on their face, a pair of yellow eyes watching him– and Adrien's panic returned in full force.

Miraculous holder.

"Of course I don't know if I would say you were truly awake in those moments– your eyes would open, you'd move a little, but you'd always return to your comatose state," the man continued, before pausing– watching Adrien's heart rate monitor beep faster and faster. "Child, calm yourself– you're in no danger. I know this is confusing, but you're in a hospital. Recovering. No one will hurt you here."

"Wh-who– who are–?" Adrien's voice cracked as he spoke, feeling dry.

The man sat in a chair next to him. "I am Amber Lǎohǔ, wielder of the Tiger Miraculous. This is our first time meeting, but you might know me better as the Guardian of the Miraculouses."

The heart rate monitor picked up once more as panic surged through Adrien, and Amber Lǎohǔ frowned in worry.

"I am here on the request of Silver Paw," Amber finally said. "I have been treating you on the magical side of things, while the doctors provide physical care. I mean you no harm, Adrien."

Tears stung Adrien's eyes, falling down his cheeks. His panic remained, even if his fear wasn't as great as before. If the Guardian of the Miraculous was here, if he knew his identity... that meant it was all over. Everything had come to an end, and Adrien could do nothing more than cry.

"My powers are currently hiding the machine's alerts to the doctors that you are awake," Amber explained. "Because I need to talk to you before anyone gets here– but I cannot do so for long, you need their care, so listen carefully as I explain."

Adrien closed his eyes tightly. How was he supposed to listen at a time like this? He was still trying to make sense of all that was around him. Memories felt slippery, drifting out of reach as he tried to remember what had happened before he had awoken, how he had gotten here, how everything had fallen apart.

"Whatever you do, do not answer any questions regarding you or your father's actions, do not tell anyone about the Miraculouses or of magic with them. If police question you tell them you are not physically ready– because you most certainly aren't. But also I am still working with Ladybug and the kwamis to craft a suitable tale for the courts and the law– for the protection of you, our friend Silver Paw, and most importantly the world of magic."

Nino. Adrien's eyes locked on the Guardian, wanting to ask more– questions crowding his tongue, but the man just kept speaking.

"I need you to understand that your body is not whole, Adrien Agreste," Amber said, looking down at him in pity. "You were not only pulled from the brink of death, your body has been falling apart for months now under the influence of the Peacock Miraculous. I am no doctor, so I cannot say things for certain– but I do not have high hopes for you. Your body has been past many limits, child."

Adrien's vision blurred as tears entered his eyes– what did that mean? What did he mean?

"That is also not considering how much your muscles must have atrophied during your time unconscious," Amber continued, and he shook his head. "The worst of what I have observed is in your lungs, though many of your organs have taken some form of damage. They may recover, they may not."

"B-but I..." Adrien croaked through his mask. "I can't–"

"I have done what I can, Adrien. You are alive, and that is all I can offer– a miracle within itself," Amber pushed himself to his feet. "I must go now, I do not want to keep you much longer." His eyes flickered over him. "Remember, no mention of the magic or of your father's plans, not yet."

Adrien broke down crying, unable to do much more than shake. Amber Lǎohǔ placed a soft hand on his shoulder, as if trying to comfort him– before he suddenly faded from sight. Adrien's eyes widened as he realized the Guardian was suddenly gone, as if he hadn't even been here. Had he imagined the man? Was this a dream? Was any of this even real? It had to be, it hurt all too much...

The beeping of his heart rate monitor spiked once more as these thoughts haunted his mind– and it seemed like almost instantly there was the sound of a door being thrown open. Someone walked into view– a woman dressed in blue and white, matching the hospital room around him. The woman stared down at Adrien, eyes wide as she regarded him. The surprise in her expression didn't last long, twisting into what appeared a more composed expression. That made Adrien feel a bit more comfortable as she masked her surprise, as it was something he often did himself.

"Adrien?" The nurse asked softly. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes," Adrien whispered, not wanting to risk nodding.

"I... I see," the nurse said, before sitting up straight. "Adrien, I understand you may be feeling confused right now. You are currently within our hospital, and are in no direct danger. I will stay right here with you as I contact a doctor to come and see you, and then I will tell your aunt that you are awake, okay?"

"Okay," Adrien said, barely time to take in this new information.

So he just closed his eyes as the room around him no longer became quiet– voices reached him, footsteps and the sound of the door swinging echoing about him. He was not asleep– even if that sounded nice– but it was easier like this than to commit to fully being aware. To sink just beneath the waves of this reality to escape the confusion and frightening knowledge. Just observe as more people come into his room, prodding at IVs and shifting his mask.

They talked, questions being directed at him– but his mind was too exhausted from what he had taken in today. So he would whisper 'no', grunt with the smallest shake of his head. His name was what he heard the most as he slipped away, first being directed at him– though soon it just joined the mass of words being spoken around him.

"...responding to stimulus..."

"...recognized his name..."

"...poor condition, though still stable..."

"He just woke up, tell them that they needed to leave."

"They're insisting that they need to see him now."

"We don't even know what his current mental state is!"

Adrien's eyes fluttered open, sensing the rising tension in the room, putting him back on alert. He twisted his head, which felt like it was made of solid iron, watching as several doctors talked among themselves.

"Have they just been waiting out here all these weeks?"

"I'm pretty sure I've seen the man several times in the waiting room during visiting hours, though I wouldn't be surprised if they rotated."

"They say as long as he's accepting visitors that they need to come in."

"Should we revoke visitation? That would delay Mrs. Fathom's entrance as well, but it would give him more time to rest."

"She won't be pleased with that."

"If only he woke up during a time she was here, I am sure she'd handle it herself..."

"The officer is right outside the door, waiting to speak to M. Agreste. Should I let him in?"

"It will happen eventually, tell him he may ask his questions as long as the patient's condition doesn't worsen."

"I don't like this."

"Neither do I."

Adrien had so many questions, his anxiety growing more and more by the second. He had no time to fully even make sense of everything he was hearing, as the door opened once more– a man dressed in a dark suit entered, eyes locked right on Adrien. He felt like he had just been spotted by a hawk, and he wished he could shrivel up right on the spot. He needed to run, he needed to get away–!

He could barely even lift up his arm, feeling much too weak.

"M. Lambert," the doctor stepped forward. "My patient has just awoken, if possible I would ask you to postpone this meeting as we acclimate him."

"No no, it would be best for me to talk to him before his aunt gets here," Lambert said, holding up a hand. "If you would excuse us, I would prefer to talk to M. Agreste alone."

"Not possible, I must remain to monitor his current condition."

"Very well, if you must, doctor– please have everyone that isn't necessary leave though."

"You may remain as long as my patient's condition remains steady," the doctor said, looking at the others in the room– who took their cue to leave. "If anything worsens then you must leave immediately for his own health."

"Understood, I won't be long."

Adrien didn't want to be left alone with this hawk-eyed man, and a sense of dread built up in him as he saw everyone leaving. He was grateful for the doctor that was remaining by his bed, but Adrien knew it wasn't enough. Not when this man had the same look in his eyes as his father did when everything fell right into place. Even though his main goal in life had been to keep his father content, it was moments like these that didn't even go right for Adrien.

"Hello, M. Agreste," Lambert said, giving a smile that was only for show– sitting down as the last nurse left. "I am Officer Lambert, a lead investigator in the case regarding you, your father, and his assistant. This won't take very long, I just need to ask you a few questions."

"Where is Father?" Adrien asked quietly. He was still trying to remember all that had happened. If the Guardian knew who he was then that meant that this was all over– but what had led to that moment? He remembered the akuma Truth, and being whisked back to the mansion when that had all fallen apart.

"Gabriel Agreste and Nathanlie Sancoeur are both being held in police custody, without bail, what will happen after that will be decided once all of your trials have been conducted. You understand that you willingly participated in acts of terrorism on the city of Paris, Adrien Agreste, under the alias of 'Blue Wing', correct?"

Adrien had gradually been shifting his arm, feeling weaker than ever– but had eventually managed to move it to his chest, where fingers touched the plain hospital gown. "M'miraculous is gone."

He wasn't surprised but this fact since the Guardian of the Miraculous had been here, but he had needed to confirm it. Lambert regarded him as he said this, quickly writing something down on a notepad.

"Only Ladybug and Panthera remain in possession of their gems," Lambert said.

"Sh'okay?"

"Hm?"

"Ladybug. 'Thera. They're okay?"

"Perfect health," Lambert reported.

Adrien relaxed slightly. "Good... good..." His mind was beginning to piece together memories that hadn't been there before. He remembered being in his father's lair, wrists being sore as they were tied behind his back. "Silv'r?"

"Perfectly fine last, I heard."

"See him?"

"Visitors should not be your concern right now, M. Agreste," Lambert said, leaning forward. "Now, I have answered several of your questions, and now you will answer some of mine. You were aware and involved in Gabriel Agreste's plans from the beginning, correct?"

"N-no!"

"Correct?"

Adrien blinked weakly at the repeated question, not sure what he meant this time. Correct as in the man's question had been correct, or correct that he was confirming Adrien's answer again? He stared into those beady eyes, and alarms of danger went off in his mind. Just for what he wasn't sure, but he was sure he shouldn't be answering this question, not like this.

Besides, the Guardian had told him not to answer any such questions. And while the man behind the Tiger Miraculous had made him nervous, he hadn't made him feel like a predator was stalking him like with Lambert.

Adrien realized who this man was reminding him of– a reporter. He and Chloe had talked many times about how reporters would twist any word said to them, how questions were crafted to create just the story they wanted. He was confident that this man was trying to catch him in his words, and he didn't dare say a thing.

Chloe... Chloe had been there, in his father's lair. Chloe. And Nino. They had been there and he... and his father... As his thoughts turned to his father, he remembered what the man had always told him in regards to speaking with the law, and he saw his way out.

"Lawyer," Adrien croaked. "I need– I need a lawyer."

"Now Adrien this isn't a trial," Lambert said smoothly. "I am just trying to understand what took place–"

"Lawyer," Adrien pleaded, twisting his head to look at the doctor– the only one still here, and the only one who could do a thing. "I need– I need–"

The doctor placed a hand on Adrien's shoulder. "It looks like my patient is requesting to have a lawyer present, and seeing as he currently does not have one here, it seems this conversation has come to an end."

"I am not leaving until–"

"You will be leaving," a livid voice snarled– causing all three of them to tense up. "And if you so much as come near my nephew again I will personally make sure you don't hold a rank or title anywhere!"

Adrien choked up as he looked up and saw his mother.

He knew it wasn't his mother– not when the words 'nephew' and 'aunt' had been thrown about since he had awakened. Still it was a sight he had often wished he could see, his mother coming in to protect him from the man he feared. No it wasn't his mother, and this man wasn't his father– yet the emotion was all the same.

"Are you threatening me, ma'am?" Lambert asked as he turned, looking at Amelie Fathom.

Amelie glowered at him. "Threat? No, not at all officier– seeing how you're the one attempting to deny Adrien a lawyer at the moment, I think you're doing a fine job threatening your own job." She stepped closer. "And I wonder how the very concerned public will take to hearing that Adrien was harassed and questioned moments after he woke up."

"An exaggeration–"

"Get out of this hospital now," Amelie snarled in a low voice. "And tell your boss it might be best to send someone else when I decide that Adrien is in the state to answer any questions."

Lambert regarded Amelie a bit longer, looking as if he wanted to say something– before turning his gaze away. The officer pushed himself to his feet, heading out of the hospital room without another word. Adrien let out a strangled sigh of relief, watching as Amelie turned her glare from the officer to the doctor.

"Adrien's condition has remained steady since he has awakened," the doctor said calmly. "I will go and update his files, and give you two some time alone. Press the pager if anything changes."

"Make sure no one but me and your staff are allowed into this room," Amelie said in a dangerously quiet voice. "Because if another incident happens like this again..."

"I understand your concerns, ma'am," the doctor said, sounding unfazed as he headed out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Adrien shuttered slightly as he realized that all of the strangers were gone, and he sagged against the hospital bed.

"Adrien?" Amelie said softly, turning towards him.

"Help me," Adrien begged his aunt– just wishing to escape this nightmare.

Amelie sat in the seat next to his bed, tears in her eyes. She reached out, grabbing his hand– confirming to him that she was indeed real. "I am so sorry," Amelie whispered. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up."

"What happened?"

"What do you remember, dear?"

Tears welled up in Adrien's eyes, and the fear returned. "He– he was going to kill me," Adrien whispered in a trembling voice. "He– he was going to do it to wake up Mom." The tears came faster, a sob escaping him, followed by a cry of pain as his lungs burned. "I'm– I'm sorry Auntie," he whispered desperately. "I l-love Mom, I do love her– but I don't wanna die."

His vision blurred, watching as Amelie covered up her mouth. She didn't say anything for a moment, and Adrien hated himself. He truly did love his mother, but clearly it wasn't enough. Not if he couldn't be strong enough to let her come back. He knew that his aunt would be upset that he hadn't been able to do something so simple, she had to be...

"Adrien, I–" Amelie began, voice cracking. "Oh, child, I..."

She didn't finish her sentence, but Adrien suddenly found himself wrapped in a gentle embrace. Amelie held him so tightly, yet tenderly all the same. He broke down sobbing in her arms, letting out small gasps between the pain in his body, struggling to keep breathing– and he broke down coughing instead.

"Adrien, I don't know what that man told you– but none of this is on you," Amelie whispered, pulling back.

"But I– but I– she needed– wake up–"

"Adrien," Amelie's voice now sounded slightly cautious. "Adrien, your mother... there would be no waking her up. She was... she has been dead for a long time."

"But Fa-father– he said she–"

"He was wrong, dear, distorted by his own lies," Amelie said. "Your mother has been dead for nearly a year."

The room spun around Adrien. If his mother had been dead this whole time that meant... that would mean that... memories flooded him, of Father locking him down in the basement with the pod that held her. His quiet orders to hold his mother's hand and to not let go. Of the cold skin pressed against his.

Adrien felt bile in his mouth as this horrible memory reached him, nausea rushing over him. He retched, the taste of acid in his mouth as spit fell down the tube of his ventilator. The horrible feeling came again, but there was nothing in his stomach, and his world became clouded with pain. Muscles that hadn't been used in so long screamed as they twisted and twitched, lungs burning as they desperately gasped for air, the sickness pooling in his mouth. He could feel Amelie's arms holding him as he collapsed, her desperate calls ringing in his ears alongside his panic, blackness clouding his vision.

When Adrien came to he was still in his hospital bed, hot and sweaty. Despite this burning sensation on his skin, the sheets felt cool to the touch. He twisted his head slightly, feeling an IV in his arm that had not been there before. The ventilator mask was now gone, instead a nasal cannula was pressed in his nose, the air tickling his nostrils, though it left his mouth free. He blinked wearily, this feeling nothing like when he had first woken up, memories of his aunt still fresh in his mind.

"Auntie?" Adrien whispered.

"She's talking to the doctors," a cool voice said– and Adrien found himself relaxing.

"Fe," he said quietly.

Felix grunted, and Adrien carefully moved his head to look at his cousin. Felix was sitting on a chair near the wall, a book in his hand. He studied Adrien for a moment before speaking. "You look awful."

"Feel awful," Adrien agreed quietly.

Felix's expression softened slightly. "...The doctor said you'll be okay, you know."

"Tiger said I won't."

"Tiger?" Felix scowled. "Mom said you were acting like yourself, but it seems you're still out of it, cousin."

"Said lungs are bad, might never recover," Adrien said, closing his eyes.

"...The doctor did say there would be permanent damage to your lungs," Felix said quietly, and Adrien felt tears in his eyes. "He... he said a lot of things, cousin, but he said he expects you to live. So... focus on that, I suppose."

"Amelie."

"Mom will be back soon," Felix promised.

"'Kay," Adrien said, closing his eyes. Silence filled the room for a moment, and Adrien heard Felix turn a page in his book. "Duusu?"

"Um, what?"

"...Nino?"

Felix closed his book. "He's been visiting you a lot. I'm sure you'll see him soon."

"Nino..."

"Soon, Adrien," Felix said with a sigh. "But please, just rest, you need it. I can't see you go through this again."

Adrien closed his eyes, voice a whisper. "Love you, Felix."

Felix sighed again. "...Same, cousin. Now please, rest."

These four white walls were a prison.

It didn't matter that the hospital walls weren't meant to confine him, or that the door wasn't even locked– because it all didn't make a difference to Adrien, as there was no escape from this place.

He was sitting up in his hospital bed (or rather, the bed had been adjusted to a sitting position), which was the most different position he had been in a long time. The pain and the exhaustion from waking up had not changed in the days he had been here, if anything it felt as if they had become worse. His body was severely weakened by the extremes he had been attempting to push it to– such as the tiring task of trying to look around the room.

He could barely move. Even just sitting up was putting strain on withered muscles that were already in constant pain. When he drank water the straw had to be held to his lips, and he could only bring several bites to his mouth before someone else would have to help him finish his meal. But chewing and swallowing was at times an impossible task itself, and much of his water was still being delivered to him by his IVs.

Everything was done from the confines of this bed, nurses to be the one to help him do even the most basic of things, and being sponged down instead of a proper shower was no substitute, his skin feeling grimy no matter what. The most movement he was granted was during physical therapy sessions– which only aggravated the pain that lived within his muscles. He had thought he had known misery when the Peacock's magic had been woven through him, but even then rest had made things better. Powers to energize him.

At least then he had been able to walk.

That was the true reason this room had become a prison for him– because there was no escape for him from it. No way for him to get away from what dangers may manifest here– and despite the promise that so many had given him that he was safe in this hospital, that promise had not been kept. Officers that came to talk to him. Reporters had slipped into the room, taking pictures as he laid here in this prone state– one even dressed as the nurses here, having ripped away his ability to even fully trust the caring staff.

He needed to get out of here, he needed to leave. His only connection to the outside was a TV that only played limited channels– channels that had his father's face flash across it far too many times.

More than once he had attempted to push past the exhaustion, to just stand up and flee through the door that mockingly stood there, just a few feet away. He had never gotten farther than turning over, collapsing in the pain with a body that refused to listen to what he wanted it to do.

Many of the hours he had past here had been him being unable to do anything more than shake and cry and cough, mind filled with the reality of what had happened beyond the walls of this hospital.

His physical therapist promised him that his muscles would strengthen, that was the whole reason why he came to him for his sessions. The confidence the man carried failed when Adrien mentioned any possibility of doing what had once been his normal, the only reply being 'we'll have to see'.

It wasn't all misery, there were familiar faces that joined him in his imprisonment. While forever wary of a new face, there were doctors and nurses he had come to know and feel familiar with. Then of course there was Aunt Amilie and Felix, and though they weren't always around the fact that they were there at all was something he had clung to.

The Guardian had also come to visit him on several more occasions. Sometimes to give him strange concoctions to drink or to smear paste on his skin. Other times he merely asked how Adrien was feeling (horrible), and that he could start talking to agents who questioned him (solely about what had happened at home and akumatization plans, but not about the Miraculouses themselves). Adrien in turn had asked about Nino and Duusu, but the Guardian had only gave him vague replies that left him longing for their company even more.

Then there were the guards that his aunt had hired as well– though none had made him feel safe as the day when he saw Ezra walk through that taunting door.

Adrien knew that his aunt had not trusted the Gorilla when Adrien had first asked for him to be the one guarding him, no doubt suspicious of the man who had lived in the same household as Adrien for so long. But it had seemed his pleadings had eventually gotten to her, because the man had been allowed to visit– his first visitor outside of family and the many doctors and specialists. Adrien couldn't help but break down at the sight of him, despite years of trying to keep such emotions hidden. The giant of a man had carefully pulled him into a hug when Adrien had reached for him, the one who had been his bodyguard for many years with him once more.

Amilie's suspicions of Ezra hadn't faded until the man's many police reports over the years had surfaced– all of his reports of Gabriel to the officials having gone uninvestigated despite their frequency.

Ezra had been assigned as his permanent bodyguard again after that.

It was Ezra who would bring the good news, at least that's how Adrien saw it since the man couldn't talk. Yes, the doctors were caring, and being with his family was a comfort he hadn't had in a long time... but the doctors always talked about his condition. Of the little improvements and the constant worries that kept popping up. Aunt Amilie often brought in lawyers and talked at length about the big case ahead of them, and Felix tended to bring the gossip in reporting all that Paris was saying about him and his father. Ezra, however, only brought familiarity and a quiet presence, and of course the wonderful feeling of safety.

The best thing that the Gorilla brought, however, was after a particularly long physical therapy appointment (which had gone well, he was slowly regaining the mobility in his arms). His bodyguard had stood in the doorway as the therapist had left, just smiling a gentle smile at Adrien, with a gleaming look in his eyes. The same look as when he'd slip a piece of candy into Adrien's hand during a strict diet, or when they'd drive the long way home just for the views.

The Gorilla gave Adrien a nod when the boy waved to him, both in greeting and to show the strength he was gaining in those limbs, before the man stepped aside– showing that he had not come alone.

Adrien was able to see the face of his new visitor for a moment, before his vision blurred as tears stung his eyes.

"Hey, my dude," a soft voice called to him, cracking slightly– and Adrien burst into tears.

"Nino," Adrien croaked out– and immediately the blurred figure of Nino was moving across the room, straight for his bed.

Adrien sat up, arms reaching out for him. One moment he saw Nino, and the next he felt the warmth of his body against him as those arms who had so often sheltered him wrapped protectively around him. Adrien sagged against Nino's chest, clutching him tightly as the tears fell faster– ready to never let go.

"Adrien," Nino said, and Adrien shuddered as he spoke. It was the first time he had truly heard Nino say his name that he could clearly remember– and it was something he hadn't been prepared for. For the tenderness he spoke it with, soft and warm, followed by the title he knew so well. "Blue."

"You're here," Adrien whispered as he clung to him.

"Not leaving," Nino promised, answering the one fear that was in Adrien's heart.

"I missed you," Adrien said– the words unable to explain the aching hole that had been in his heart.

Nino pulled back, one hand gently cupping his cheek as he looked down at him. Adrien tried to take in everything– the smallest of details. Dark skin. Amber eyes. Scar across his face. That red cap he never took off. The quiver in his arms that were holding him so steady. That amazing smile on gentle lips.

Adrien choked again.

"I'm sorry, Nino, I'm so sorry," Adrien struggled against a sob.

"Blue–"

"He– he hurt you– and I didn't– I wasn't able to–" Adrien's shoulders hunched, and immediately he was brought back into that protective embrace. "Because of me you– I–"

"You're here, you're alive," Nino whispered fiercely to him, sitting down on the bed with him so he could pull him closer. "You're safe. That's the only thing that matters to me."

Adrien felt his fingers curling into Nino's shirt, trying to hold him more tightly. Dimly he was aware that Ezra had stepped out of the room, that the door was closed and it was just the two of them here– but for once these walls around him didn't feel suffocating. Adrien closed his eyes, a cough in his throat, breaking up the tears that stung his eyes.

Nino shifted, supporting him as the coughing fit took hold, the tightness in his chest seeming to constrict about him. His hands covered his face, feeling the cannula that was still pressed to his nose, delivering oxygen when it felt like there was none. Specks of black danced across his vision as the fit faded, Adrien taking in shallow breaths as he tried to center himself once more.

"Sorry," Adrien croaked as he wiped away a strand of spit, seeing the fear plastered on Nino's face.

"Are you okay?" Nino whispered worryingly. "Should I get a doctor in here?"

Adrien shook his head slightly, Nino's arms still supporting him, and he leaned against him. "It... it happens."

He focused on taking steady breaths, feeling Nino against him, warm and safe. Despite the labor it was to breathe at times, there was a calmness within him with Nino there. The fear in his life not feeling as looming as it had before. It felt that the promises that he would be alright were actually true.

Nino helped him lean against the bed, which was propped to help him sit up, and Adrien closed his eyes. He said nothing, just comforted by the shifting of the mattress as Nino scooted right next to him. Adrien let his head lean against his shoulder, risking a deeper breath. A warm hand wrapped around his, and he laced his fingers with Nino's.

"How bad is it?" Adrien asked quietly. "…Out there. In Paris."

"It's been chaotic," Nino said quickly, as if it were a confession. "What happened is still the main thing in the news, it will probably stay that way since the trials haven't even started yet…"

Adrien's throat tightened. "I have to be there."

Nino squeezed his hands tightly. "Ladybug and Panthera have been speaking for you. Everyone knows that what happened wasn't your fault. I… I… It's going to be okay."

Adrien's eyes slid open, no doubt that Nino was talking about Adrien's own trial. His physical therapist had been talking about it as well, considering the possibility that he could be moving with a walker by that time, which felt like a long shot when he couldn't even stand on his own. But it was not what he could be charged with that frightened him about the looming trial.

"I'll have to see Father there," Adrien whispered.

Nino's hand tightened about his. "That man can't hurt you anymore."

Adrien glanced away, wishing that those words could be true. Not to hurt anymore… That was a reality that he did not have. Everything hurt so much, his body ached, and so did his heart.

"I want to see him," Adrien blurted out– Nino being the first to hear these treacherous thoughts that had been lurking in his mind for sometime now. "I'm– I don't know–" he looked at Nino with desperation. "I need to see him."

Nino's gaze slipped away, and Adrien knew how disappointed he must be in him. He tightened his grip on Nino's hand, afraid that he might pull away. Soon he met his gaze once more, eyes looking pained.

"I… I don't know how to answer that," Nino confessed. "I don't think you should ever go near him again, but I… I can't make that choice for you. You might not even get a choice in the matter… and I don't know how I feel about that."

Adrien looked down, decided not to tell him that he wanted to see Nathalie as well. He… he didn't know how to describe the feeling, the need to be able to look at them again.

"Is Trixx with you?" Adrien asked instead, longing for the comfort of a kwami.

Nino adjusted his glasses, looking down. "I haven't seen them or Wayzz in weeks. The Guardian took them back."

"Duusu?" There was a quiver in Adrien's voice.

Nino turned to face him. "Duusu… Duusu has been struggling, from what I've been told." Nino said, and Adrien felt more tears. "But it's because she's worried about you! I was told that the Guardian fixed her Miraculous, Adrien, she's been fully healed! But she's been struggling with what happened with you."

"It wasn't her fault," Adrien whispered, guilt washing over him. "It was my choice! I'm the one who– who–!"

"She's with the other kwamis," Nino soothed, holding his hands tightly. "She's healed, she's going to be okay."

"I need to see her again."

"I know," Nino whispered. "I think she needs to see you too."

Adrien didn't get it, how Nino could understand his need to see Duusu, but not his father? Yes, the man brought back terrible memories to his mind, but Duusu has been with him through just as many painful events. Everything he had known had been torn from him, and the desire for the familiarity and shelter of home cut deep. He needed to see them, all of them. For comfort, for the routine, for understanding.

But for now Nino was here, and Adrien burrowed close to him, embracing the safety he brought. "I love you."

He had felt Nino's love before, the Emotions that had so gently reached for him when he had worn his Miraculous. But he didn't wear it now, and though he remembered how powerful it had been, he needed to hear those words again.

He felt Nino leaning forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "I love you too, Adrien."

Even without his Miraculous, the strong feeling of love burned as bright as ever, and that was what Adrien needed to know that at least today, he'd be okay.