"He's thirty-four and drinking in a honky tonk; just kicking hippies' asses and raising hell." — Jerry Jeff Walker (Up Against The Wall, Redneck Mother)
Hello, all! I have a very important announcement and it is that my wonderful, gorgeous, and amazing sister, 1000th Ghost, is turning 34 years old! Written into the very sinews of our sisterhood is the pact to write and exchange minifics for each other's birthdays, which we complete and anticipate with great vigor, no matter the questionable quality of the ships. Just kidding, all your ships are great, 1000th Ghost! I love you!
Do you want to hear something crazy, though? This is my 5th time doing this challenge for you. Time is weird.
Challenge Rules: I wrote 10 mini fics, one for each couple. Then, for each couple, I shuffled my music, and paired them with the first song that came on. Also, I set a timer that decreased by 1 minute after each ship. Ex. #1 ship = 10 min, #2 ship = 9 min, etc, #10 ship = 1 min.
Note: While you don't need to listen to the songs before reading the fics, I might recommend it.
All bolded words throughout: Me
Alrighty, that's enough of that; now sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. MWAH!
1. Tiffany ValentinexChucky Ray (Chucky) - "Blank Space (Taylor's Version)" by Taylor Swift - 10 min. timer
10 MINUTES? REALLY 1000TH GHOST? Have I ever seen a Chucky movie? No. Do I know literally anything about this franchise? No. (That's a lie, he's a doll… I think?) Did I watch an edit and read their wiki page? Yep! And from what I can tell, Blank Space is actually a pretty good song lol.
"Sweetie?" Tiffany leaned over slightly, tried to bring his gaze to her body, her makeup, her hair, to the looks she'd perfected even in this form.
"Yes, doll?" Chucky looked at her with that quasi-sleazy, crazed stare, and she wanted to blush.
"I was thinking… what if we don't kill anyone— "
"No!"
"Just for the weekend! We can take a nice romantic getaway, ya know? Travel somewhere new, be together."
He rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine."
The next day, in the backyard of some rich person's mansion, they found a beyond fancy playhouse perfectly sized for them. They lounged in bed all day, learning each other like they hadn't since their honeymoon, back when real flesh and real bodies ruled supreme.
Chucky brushed her bangs back with one hand and clacked a torturously sweet kiss to her forehead, and she could just about die again.
"Woof! Woof!"
"What's that?" she gasped and pulled the red silk sheet up to cover her naked frame.
"I'll handle it," Chucky growled.
"Oh no, please Sweetie, you promised you wouldn't kill."
"It scared you!" That crazed, murderous look had returned to his marred face, and she allowed herself to feel honored. "At least let me shut it up for you."
"Well, when you say it like that." Tiffany slid the sheet down to her navel and winked with a hand on her hip. "Go ahead."
He gave an appreciative whistle. "Thanks, Toots."
Outside the house, she heard whines and yelps and a bit of squelching while her hands roamed around her body and wished they were his, corporeal and hot. Pulsing.
When he finally returned, he had a fresh speckling of blood on his tousled red hair and overalls, but she pulled him in just the same.
"Dead?" She asked, an eyebrow arched.
He propped himself above her, caged her in. "Don't worry, Toots, just a nasty scar."
Oh! My main takeaway from this is that I am unclear what the dolls actually are. Are they plastic? Flesh? Anatomically correct? I don't know! Why did I make it slurpy? Idk, it's a fear mechanism I think :D Nothing gets me going more than hearing my significant other brutalize a dog !
2. Jane EyrexEdward Rochester (Jane Eyre) - "Mariners Apartment Complex" by Lana Del Rey - 9 min. timer
Oh boy! Uhhh, ok!
Sometimes, Jane dreams about the fire. She can picture it in stunning, vibrant orange, the sheer magnitude of its power. To be able to topple Mr. Rochester, it must have been grand.
In these dreams, the ones she only finds when she falls asleep in a chair beside his damaged frame, she is powerless. She is always rushing towards it, always a step away from being able to help. If she'd stayed, could she have helped, or would the flames have consumed her as well?
But, it was never hers to help, and she knows that. His past is in flames; he is the fire.
The grand house is just a place of residence that she'd passed through once. Nothing could be done about it.
But here, here with his good hand clasped in her own, with tangled hair spilling from her once neat bun and brushing the edge of his jaw, here she is the water.
Here she can take care of him, because she wants to, and it makes her feel powerful to finally love and be loved in return.
"Here, sip," she orders, a glass of cool water held to his lips.
Rochester gulps it down, savors the relief, then kisses her hand gently until droplets dot her fingers too.
Yeah, alright, that works.
3. Cathy EarnshawxHeathcliff (Wuthering Heights) - "Away in a Manger" by Frank Sinatra & Bing Crosby - 8 min. timer
HEATHCLIFFFF, IT'S ME, I'M CATHY, I'VE COME HOMEEEE. And also it's Christmas.
The winter is bitterly cold, the kind that slaps him in the face each time the door opens, but Cathy had begged him to follow her outside, and he simply couldn't argue.
They hold hands through their mittens because one time Cathy heard a story about children surviving a sudden snowstorm by staying attached, and Heathcliff, once again, will not argue.
"You'll love it," she grins and squeezes his hand. "At least, I hope you do. It'll be alright if not."
He will love it, no matter what, but he keeps that disguised behind his melancholy eyes so she can experience the full satisfaction of delivering him joy.
Cathy leads him through the big forest until they reach a clearing with a single evergreen standing proudly in the middle. She's strung popcorn and pinecones to its snow decked branches, and his solemn lips twitch.
"Surprise! Isn't it beautiful, Heath?"
"Very." She smiles at him, and his face finally cracks into a small grin, which she gazes at triumphantly.
"You should go look under the branches." Her wind bitten cheeks manage to redden even further, and she's so lovely he wants to cry.
With her hand still tucked in his, he goes to the branches and procures a small rectangle wrapped in tissue paper.
"For… me?"
"Yes, silly. Open it!"
Within is a linen pillow with "Forever" stitched into its front in lovely green thread.
"Well? What do you think?"
Heathcliff engulfs her in a hug, then, and holds her like she'll vanish if he doesn't, even though the pillow promises otherwise. "Perfect," he whispers.
He feels her giggle against his chest. "Do you think we could stay here a bit longer? It's just too beautiful to leave."
He nods and begins to pull away.
"Oh, no, stay like that, please. You're warm."
In an instant, he's holding her again, face buried in her golden hair. Forever.
Writing the Jane Eyre one and this back to back made me realize how much more I love Wuthering Heights. I think I'm just a sucker for childhood friends to lovers. Writing this felt like when I wrote the childhood flashbacks in my novel and that made it so fun. Also Christmas!
4. Rose TylerxThe Doctor (Doctor Who) - "Cosmic Love" By Florence & The Machine - 7 min. timer
RAHHHHAHSAEIDFUR. I love them, your honor. 1000th Ghost, I want you to look me in the eyes right now and tell me you ship Chucky and whatsherface more than this. I dare you. Also this song? What are the odds? It is in both my Reylo and DW playlist for obvious sad and spacey reasons, but I don't want to just write angst for them soooo…
Late one night, when the sky is dark and all the world is fast asleep, they find each other again, floating somewhere in the universes beyond.
Rose feels his presence like a whisper, blanketing her skin in warmth and reassurances, and she thinks she ought to schedule something with a psychiatrist soon.
"Rose." But, no, that must be him, like he's an inch behind her, lips hovering by her ear. The hair on her neck raises with goosebumps.
The tears dotting her eyes are necessary. "Doctor?"
No response comes, but she swears she can hear the beating of his two hearts, pulsing through the darkness of her bedroom like a beast, and that alone is enough to make her ecstatic.
She flings herself from bed, paces the floor like a madman, looking for clues or trap doors or any kind of explanation.
"Mine." He's got a desperate twinge to his voice followed by a fast-paced, breathy groan that stirs her far more than it should.
"All yours, Doctor." She returns to the bed and lays on top of her covers as she undresses herself, just in case he can somehow see her from somewhere.
She'd stay in the darkness like this forever if it meant having him at all.
Her room is alive with the force of him, swirling the dust and stars and air. That's how it would have felt with him, she thinks, dipping a hand down lower and lower on her abdomen. Electric.
Across all time and space, the Doctor feels the touch of her fingertips as viscerally as if she were actually on him, and when he shudders through his release, he swears he can taste the sweetness of her lips.
Spicy angst! I needed more time for this, rahhhhh. Still a little angsty but it's like the Reylo force bond, get it? Cause like he sends her a dream to go to Bad Wolf Bay, so perhaps that same kind of connection could be used for slightly more slurpy activities? I think yes.
5. Cindy VortexxJimmy Neutron (The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius) - "Should I Stay or Should I Go" by The Clash - 6 min.
You and I both already know what two of the following lines are going to be. Also suspend your disbelief please and just pretend that the timeline of this makes sense because I know they get together in the end so this is an alternate reality to make my idea work.
Cindy is a rotten tease and an even worse distraction, and Jimmy loves her.
Change is heavy in the air as they enter their final month of senior year, and it adds an all-consuming tension to their actions; Jimmy has an acceptance letter to Princeton concealed in his back pocket that he loves and hates at the same time for its implications.
Tonight, in the fluorescent lights of his laboratory, he has tried three separate times to titrate a fresh supply of ephedrine, but failed each time at the sight of Cindy bent over a desk, taking diligent notes about the chemical base of the drug.
Something stirs low in his abdomen each time his eyes trace the curve of her hips, and just like that, the titration is blown. She must know what she's doing, swaying like that when there's a chair right beside her. Two can play at that game.
He approaches the desk, leans over her with an arm on either side in a show of reading her work. He's pressed against her backside, and she gasps beneath him, then giggles.
"Is that a beaker or are you just excited to see me?"
Cindy flips herself around and traces a hand down and up his chest. She's so cheeky, and it's killing him.
"Do you love me?" he asks, and manages to muster up his typical confidence.
"What?"
"You're driving me crazy, Cindy. We've been off and on the edge of something great for years, and if we don't decide soon, it'll be too late."
"Too late?"
Jimmy pulls the crinkled acceptance letter from his back pocket. "Princeton has been my dream since high school started, but you've been my dream a lot longer. I'll stay, if you want."
Cindy smirked and rolled her eyes. "Still underestimating me, Nerdtron?" She reached into her pink purse to reveal her own acceptance. "Guess there's still no rush, huh?" She wriggled her hips against his, playful.
He slammed his lips to hers, tasting her like a last meal, and she moaned beneath him. When they part, his brows furrow. "I can't take four more years of teasing, if we go, we go together."
Cindy bites her bottom lip and smiles. "Alright, James."
"Cynthia."
How did I write this much for a show I've seen like 5 episodes of? And why was it really fun? Time to watch, I guess.
6. Harley QuinnxJoker (DC) - "Forever & Always (Taylor's Version)" by Taylor Swift - 5 min. timer
Oh boy, it's T Swizzle again! And crazy people!
Doctor Harleen Francis Quinzel was never meant to be a screw up, but here she was, and somehow, it made more sense than anything else.
The phone in front of her was meant to ring three minutes ago or else her and Joker were donezo, like really. And here she was, three minutes past the ultimatum she'd given him with none so much as a message of good faith.
Back when she was a fancy professional doctor (she still was, technically) she'd let herself dabble in the idea of fantastical dark romances that guilty pleasure novels told her about. And in those, yeah, the guy sucked, but he never let his main girl down.
When they corrupted their innocent girls with tales of forever and great obsessive love, they at least fulfilled their end of the deal.
But, still, Joker had been close enough and oh so easy to fall in love with, with his crazed eyes and persuasive words, buzzing with every secret desire she'd ever tamped down.
Harley Quinn huffed, then rolled her eyes and picked up the phone. "Joker? Yeah, it's over. Or at least I'm over it until you put in the effort."
When she returned home that night, there was a new puzzle and cherry slushy melting on her counter, and she laughed.
I don't actually know.
7. HeidixPeter (Heidi) - "Teen Idle" by MARINA - 4 min. timer
I feel vaguely unclear about almost all of these. It's like I'm looking at the ships through frosted glass. Do I kind of know them? Yes. Enough to write about them confidently? No. And to make matters worse, this song does *not* fit even a little, lol.
When Peter and his goats finally found Heidi, she was sitting with her knees tucked under her chin on a rocky edge of the mountain.
"Heidi?"
She turned and pouted the prettiest little pout. "I'm going to hurl myself off the mountain!"
"What?" Peter rushed to her side, blocked her view of the cliff.
"Not really, I guess. I just— I don't know —do you even like me, Peter?"
"Wha- yes, I love you! So much!"
"I'm not even that pretty. I should be a show girl or a lady of the night or something but I can't because no one would want to look at me."
"Heidi, you are too pretty for any of those things. And too good. You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Even now, with the whole mountain valleys in front of us, the only view I crave is you."
Heidi grinned finally, and the fire in Peter's heart burned even brighter.
Or, Heidi goes through angsty hormonal puberty! Hooray!
8. AlicexMad Hatter/Tarrant Hightopp (Alice in Wonderland) - "doomsday" by Lizzy McAlpine - 3 min. timer
Johnny Depp! That's all I got; I don't actually remember these movies. And, once again, the song is not very applicable. Accurate timeline and plot do not apply to this; enjoy :D
As Tarrant Hightopp is brought out to his execution, the only thing he can think about is how he would have dressed Alice for hers.
Black would be too simple, too cliché. Red would be a nice slap to the faux Queen, but Alice meant too much to him to be reduced to a dramatic symbol. If she were still here, he would have allowed her to plan the outfit with him, but as it was, all future decisions, clothing or otherwise, were up to him.
As he approaches the chopping block, all he can think is that she would look rather ravishing in a matching hat and gown of orange, like pumpkins and sunsets, and that as their bones were laid into a grave together, their colors would have coordinated just perfectly.
He could have dolled her up nicely for a wedding, too, he thinks, but that's all just crazed, bitter daydreams now.
I think I like it, maybe? I'm glad I wrote from his perspective.
9. Miss Vivienne ScarletxMr. Johnny Green (Clue) - "All the Debts I Owe" by Caamp - 2 min. timer
Geez, doesn't this exist like literally only in the context of your mind? And, somehow, I don't even know this song either! Like seriously, I've never heard it before, how did it get there? Annnnnd only 2 minutes. Ok, was that enough complaining? Or should I go on?
"You what?"
Mr. Green's brow furrowed. "Keep your voice down, Vivienne. Look, we're desperate, and this money will save us, save our family."
"You're a thief!" she shrieked.
"Careful throwing around titles like that. All of us are prone to snap under pressure. Remember the billiard's room?"
Vivienne turned from him, wrapped her scarlet shawl tighter around her. "Right again, my dearest husband. Get the kids."
Get it? Cause crime. Like Bonnie and Clyde or something, idk. The song is pretty good, too, lol, I guess I'll keep it.
10. Sue HeckxDerrick Glossner (The Middle) - "Force of Nature" by Bea Miller - 1 min. timer
OH BOY, my favorite obscure crack ship! This song actually works, but is too permanently a Reylo song in my mind, lol.
Sue Heck was by all means a good girl and Derrick Glossner was definitively not, but none of that seemed to matter when he rushed to her from across the street, a confident gleam in his powerful step, and kissed her like she was his.
It was foolish to even imagine, but maybe, someday, she could be.
I wanted to write so much more for this, ughhhh.
YAYYYYYY! Happy 34th birthday, 1000th Ghost! I love you so very much, forever and ever, and I hope you have a great day. See you again next year! :)