Note:
You know, maybe it's better if you never listen to me about when I think my updates are coming. I seriously need to reframe how fast I think my beta readers/editors are. I swear, every time I think it's going to take forever – because of my ridiculously long chapters – they end up chopping it up and shortening what I should upload. Anyway – seventeen will show up when it does.
Disclaimer:
If I owned frozen, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction about it.
Happy Reading!
-JQ
Chapter Sixteen: Patience and Understanding
Elsa was feeling absolutely awful about the last interaction she had had with Princess Tina. She knew that there was a lot of blame to go around for that, as it takes two to have an argument, but she realized quite quickly that she should have listened to the younger woman a little [a lot] better. All that Tina wanted was to stay friends. Even though Elsa knew it was not going to be easy to stay friends with all of their...feelings...a friendship could be plausible. She knew that she had to apologize, but it was harder than it looked.
Over the last day and a half, she had tried to talk to Tina, but the princess was vehemently against the idea. She would be rather short with the ice wielder – keeping their conversations to basic pleasantries and extending common courtesies. On top of the not-so-silent treatment, Gunn-Britt, Ingrid, and Arnold would always be around and rush the princess off somewhere whenever Elsa got too close. Honestly, the ice wielder probably deserved the treatment she was receiving, but it certainly was becoming too difficult to do on her own.
So, with one day left to apologize to Tina, Elsa decided to go to her sister for advice. One of the mistakes that Elsa had repeatedly made, throughout this entire situation, was not telling her sister things sooner. The former queen figured that she should try and change her fortune by going to her sister for advice first. Surely, Anna would be able to be of service as a self-proclaimed 'love expert'.
"You WHAT?!" Anna cried, looking as crazed as ever. Beside her, Kristoff paled and took a step back (a wise choice, really).
Okay.
Maybe Elsa should have worked on her delivery of this information.
"I-uh –!" the blonde stammered, "I may have...hurt Tina's feelings...by not listening to her about her idea for a friendship..." the blonde winced, knowing that Anna's freak out was just beginning. And honestly, Elsa knew she deserved all of it.
"I told you to speak to her properly," Anna whined, "not make things worse!" the fifth spirit looked down at her feet in shame – she knew she had made a mess of things and she knew she had to fix it. She just didn't know where to start.
"In her defence," Kristoff said suddenly, "talking to a woman that you really like is very anxiety-inducing." Anna turned to give her husband a stare that could shatter bones.
"Not the time, babe." the queen said.
"Sorry. I'm gonna just – yeah – I'll go...somewhere else." and with that, the man made his getaway as fast as possible. Anna shook her head and Elsa began to brace herself for her sister's wrath without a witness around. Once Kristoff had completely left the Queen's Study, the sisters were left alone. Elsa watched as the redhead took a calming breath before addressing her again.
"Okay..." Anna sighed, returning her attention to her sister, "can we start from the beginning?" she asked, "Tell me exactly what Tina said to you." the older woman shuffled a little on her feet before speaking.
"She told me that she had hoped that we could continue being friends." Elsa explained carefully, "She had hoped that we could write letters, every now and then. Keep in touch. Things like that."
"Then..." the queen said, as she tried her best to make sense of the statement, "...what is the issue with her plan?"
Elsa shrugged her shoulders. "I...I don't want to continue being friends with her."
"But why?" the redhead asked again, "I thought you liked spending time with her?"
"I do." Elsa admitted with a groan, "But it's a bad idea." Anna had had enough of this – something wasn't being said and she needed to get to the bottom of things. If there was one thing she was good at, it was getting Elsa to open up.
"But you like spending time with her! You like talking to her!" Anna echoed back to her, "None of that sounds bad, Elsa." and truly, none of it sounded horrible. The queen was having an issue trying to understand her older sister's perspective.
"But that's the problem, Anna!" Elsa cried out, much louder and more forceful than she had intended. She was so loud that the younger of the two was actually stunned. She took a step back from Elsa and just eyed her curiously – the ice wielder had never raised her voice like that before. The former queen offered her sister an apologetic look. This situation was obviously wreaking havoc on her and she needed to be honest with herself.
Elsa took a breath and tried to regain her composure. Once she felt a little better, she shared a thought that she hadn't even spoke out loud to herself yet. "I like her. A lot." while that wasn't exactly the thought she meant to share, she decided it was a good start. "I can't be friends with her with all of these – these feelings!" a little more, Elsa encouraged herself, just tell Anna the truth. "The thought of Tina getting married against her will is awful in itself, but I also can't stand the thought of someone – ugh! – of someone else –!"
"Of someone else being with her?" Anna finished for her sister.
Yes. That was the real issue. After all that had happened, and after all that Elsa felt for the Botarskalic princess, Elsa couldn't fathom just being a bystander now. How could she just stand by while Tina got married to a man she had never known? How could she just wait in the shadows – withholding her desires? How could she forget what it felt like to hold Tina's hand? To hear her laugh? To kiss her lips...
How could I forget?
"Yes." Elsa confirmed, sadly. While she still hadn't said it out loud on her own, having Anna finish the thought still felt good. "Being friends feels like torture to me and...and I can't...I can't – I won't do that to myself."
"But..." Anna began, trying to tread the waters of her sister's new confession as carefully as she could, "...could you really live with it if you never spoke to her again?" the redhead searched her sister's face for any more signs of distress. All she found was a look of sadness that flashed quickly across her sister's ice blue eyes. It was only for a second, but it was there. She saw it and identified it.
"I have to, Anna." the ice wielder said with a frown, "I mean – I think that I can. I've never needed anyone like that before and there's too much to do with the forest and the magic a-a-and Ahtohallan." at this point, Elsa was trying to convince herself of this more than her sister. "It's not the happiest solution but it's the only way for the both of us to move on."
"Then why don't you explain that to her properly?" Anna asked her, "Or maybe – this is just a theory – maybe there's a part of you that doesn't want to do that?" Again, Anna watched her sister's facial expressions for any signs that she had overstepped. As much as she loves to get Elsa out of her shell, she does apply caution because she also doesn't want to intentionally (or inadvertently) harm her sister. Elsa's eyes were always the easiest to read – they were the same eyes that their mother had and Anna also shared this trait with her sister. Again, there was a flash of sadness that washed over them, but this time, the sadness seemed to stay.
At this point, the queen decided that it was time for physical affection. Anna carefully approached her sister and wrapped her into a tight embrace. After a few moments of silence, Anna began to speak.
"It's okay to feel things for another person, Elsa." the queen said, as she held her sister close. "I know that nothing is perfect in this scenario, but she doesn't want to get married and you don't want to let her go. Maybe you can be your true selves in letters to one another." The blonde woman pulled back from the hug to give her sister a look of utter disbelief.
"You want me to have an affair with a married woman?" immediately, Anna removed herself from the hug and slapped the older woman in the shoulder.
"Elsa – don't interpret my advice poorly. I'm trying to help you; stop being difficult." the redhead warned as Elsa just rubbed at her freshly sore shoulder. Anna then held up her hands in defence. "I'm just suggesting that the both of you can keep being whatever it is that you end up deciding, in private – via letters and such." she explained. "No affairs though. Vennesvurg's adultery laws are pretty archaic."
"I...I don't know Anna –!"
"Listen. Think about your options." the redhead advised, "Your idea is not the only choice that you have – even though you think it's the best." Elsa wanted to retort, but the look in her younger sister's eyes told her that her shoulder would be attacked again if she did. "At the very least, hear what she has to say and tell her that you like her too much to just be friends." Anna suggested, "If she likes you as much as you like her, she'll understand and maybe you can work something out."
Elsa considered the pros and cons but still ended up on her idea as the most logical solution. Despite this, Elsa looked up into Anna's eyes and nodded. "I'll try." the sisters shared another hug and just enjoyed the feeling of being close again. Even though they saw one another often, they hadn't had a legitimate heart to heart in a while (after all – that was hard to accomplish with a five-year-old and three-year-old around).
"Good. That's all I want to hear." the queen said, as they ended their hug. Elsa began to make her way out of the study when Anna stopped her. "And hey – Elsa?"
"Yes, Anna?" Elsa asked, turning around to face her sister once more. Anna just smiled at her older sister with soft eyes.
"Whatever happens..." the redhead said, "I'm proud of you." Again, Elsa's first instinct was to rebut the comment. But she decided to just leave things for now. She mirrored the smile that her sister gave her as sincerely as she could, before leaving the study entirely.
"Thanks, Anna."
...
Meanwhile, on the other side of the castle, Ingrid, Arnold, and Gunn-Britt were helping Princess Tina pack up her belongings in preparation for their trip to Vennesvurg. They were expected to leave Arendelle by tomorrow after breakfast, which meant that they would be in Vennesvurg by the end of the day. As such, it was going to be beneficial to pack up most of her things before they had to leave. Tina and her entourage had been in Arendelle for nearly an entire month, at this point, and there was a lot of Tina's belongings that needed to be re-packed and stored away.
Tina sighed as she rolled up some of her dinner skirts into a trunk. This trip was certainly unexpected. She wasn't supposed to suffer a head injury and be tossed around by giants. She wasn't supposed to meet a whole bunch of new friends and have a good time in Arendelle. And lastly, she definitely wasn't supposed to fall head over heels for a snow goddess.
A stunning and sincere snow goddess.
Ugh. But then she remembered their last interaction from the other day. Tina angrily shoved her clothes into the trunk with a lot more force than she originally intended to.
A stubborn and stupid snow goddess.
Another rough shove into the trunk.
Stupid feelings.
"UGH!" Ingrid groaned from her spot on the princess' guest bed. "Can you please stop being all mad and dramatic about Elsa, already?! It's ruining my broodiness!"
Tina stopped packing her clothes to look at her handmaiden with a puzzled expression. "How does me, being mad, ruin your attitude?"
"It takes away from the attention – duh!" Ingrid groaned again, "If you're really upset – which normally never happens – it overshadows my broodiness, which means I have to be extra broody to have the same effect!" the handmaiden then dramatically screamed into a pillow before continuing her rant. "Do you know how exhausting it is to be a bitch?" Tina was still not understanding what was happening so she looked over at Arnold for help. Luckily, the advisor was fluent in 'Ingrid's mannerisms' at this point in their friendship.
"While I disagree with Ingrid for...a multitude of reasons..." Arnold said, giving the handmaiden a strict glare, "I don't disagree with the sentiment. You being all angry and morose does not solve the issues that you have."
"Indeed." Gunn-Britt supplied, "You are Princess Hrafntinna of Botarskal – your royal blood flows from those of the strongest vikings in all of Scandinavia. You biologically cannot be coward."
Arnold shrugged. "Again – not entirely on the same page with Gunn-Britt either – but you are normally very strong." the advisor then walked over to place his hands on the princess' shoulders. "You're a problem solver – you're the only person I know who's good at empathy and feelings!" While Tina knew that this was true, she had to admit that this situation with Elsa was not something she had ever experienced before.
"But this is different guys." Tina said softly, "This is different..."
"How?" Ingrid asked, "You've had relationships with girls before."
Tina just shook her head. "But those were like flings or..." the princess was at a loss for what to call this. Truly, Elsa and her had not even been anything. They just kissed and had a fight. This was not something that she was used to and it was not something that she could classify on her own. All she knew was that her feelings for the ice wielder were strong. "those relationships were not...not like this."
The handmaiden tugged on her hair and groaned loudly. "UGH – what does 'like this' mean?!"
"It means I've never felt this much for someone before!" the princess whined, "I want...I want her."
Arnold sighed. He hated repeating himself. "But you –!"
"I KNOW I CAN'T!" Tina cried out, silencing her advisor. The look on his face told her she needed to take a breath, so that's exactly what she did. After taking a moment to herself, she addressed him in a calmer tone. "I know that I can't be anything more than friends with her."
"Just...explain to her what you're feeling then." said Arnold, "Like you told us the other day – she probably just panicked and didn't listen to you. Tell her you really like her."
"I can't handle her telling me she doesn't feel the same." Tina admitted. Hearing that the blonde was refusing to be friends with her, the other day, honestly set her off. She didn't want to lose her connection to the blonde and her freedom. She didn't want to let go of the feeling of being in Elsa's arms.
Or the feeling of her lips on mine...
"Sure you can!" Arnold said in an encouraging tone, laced with enthusiasm. "You're Princess Tina!"
"A direct descendant of the strongest viking clans –!"
"Yes, yes, yes – we get it, Gunn-Britt." Arnold said, waving his hand at the personal guard. Before Tina could reply, there was a knock on her door. The four people inside the room just looked at one another, unsure of who it could be. Eventually, there was another knock on the door and Tina decided that she should answer it before they got annoyed.
"Hello?" the princess greeted, as she opened the door.
"H-Hey, Tina!"
"Ryder?" the princess asked, mildly shocked. "What brings you here?"
"I wanted to uh – talk to you – if that's okay?" Tina looked around to see if he was alone. Although they had never really spent time together, Tina knew that Elsa and the Northuldra boy were pretty close. So far, Tina could not see any sign of anyone else in the hallway.
"Yes, sure." Tina replied, still a little skeptical. "Just let me brush out my hair and we can go."
...
Tina and Ryder found themselves just aimlessly walking around Arendelle castle. The place was just so large and expansive that they really had no idea of where they were headed. Oh well, the destination wasn't what was important for this conversation – it was going to be the conversation itself.
"So..." the princess said, eyeing the reindeer herder, "what did you want to talk about?"
Ryder just offered her a shy smile. "Okay...please just...just hear me out. I know we haven't spent much time together, but I wanted to tell you something."
"Oh..." Tina said, suddenly very frightened. She had had enough conversations with young men, who wished for her hand, many times over. "...Ryder, you're very nice but I don't think I like you like that."
"What?" Ryder said, looking confused, "I know that. You like Elsa and Elsa likes you!" immediately, the princess slapped a hand over his mouth and tugged him into the nearest empty hall.
"Shhh!" Tina said, removing her hand from the boy's mouth, "Don't say that out loud!"
"Sorry," he told her, "I forget that people who live in kingdoms don't really talk about liking folks of the same gender. Or different kinds of genders." Ryder thought about it for a second and remembered one more category. "Or not genders."
"I-It's fine, Ryder." the princess said, regaining her composure, "Just...keep this stuff as quiet as possible. I don't want to cause any more trouble than I already have." again, the reindeer herder just offered her a confused expression.
"What trouble have you caused?" he questioned.
"Well for starters," Tina sighed, "I ruined things between Elsa and I. Started way more drama that I should have, honestly." she looked at her feet sadly.
"Psh. No you didn't." Ryder told her with a laugh. He then pointed a finger at her, getting her to look at him curiously. "I'm willing to bet half my herd that Elsa probably panicked on you, when you tried to talk about feelings." Tina didn't respond verbally, but her blush was enough to tell the herder all that he needed to know.
"Ahah!" he said with a victorious fist pump in the air, "I knew it!" when he stopped his happy dance, he got more serious. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." he stated, "I've been friends with Elsa for like..." Tina watched the reindeer herder as he started to count his fingers. "...six years now. And that is way longer than you have known her. For the whole time I've known her, she has always been weird around the idea of being in love or being in a relationship. She never told me why, but I've seen how she reacts enough to know that it made her emotionally itchy." Ryder then faced the princess and held his hands up in defence of his incoming statement, "Now, I'm no expert on love and I've never been in love myself, but I just wanted to tell you that Elsa has never done this before." the princess opened her mouth to say something, but Ryder held up one of his hands to silence her. "And before you say anything – yes, she can say some mean things sometimes – but I don't think she wants to hurt any feelings. Just –!"
"Be careful around her?" the princess finished for him with a scoff. Tina crossed her arms over her chest. She felt more empowered as she spoke to Ryder. She decided to talk about how she felt about Honeymaren and Anna's previous advice for her. "Honestly, I love that your sister and the queen care for Elsa a lot, but sheltering her feelings isn't the best thing to do either." With a huff, Tina just shook her head. "I think that she's had enough of that."
Ryder just nodded, completely agreeing with the princess' assessment. While he knew that Honeymaren and Anna were just trying to not push Elsa away, sometimes it felt as if they were just letting her crawl into her comfort zone and not letting her expand. He knew that wasn't what they were intending, but it was an inadvertent pattern. That's why – in Ryder's opinion – he felt that she panicked so easily while being confronted.
"No – I agree. And I like that – stand up for her, that's great." he smiled, silently applauding the woman's fierce desire to help Elsa. He knew he liked Tina for his friend for a reason. "I just wanted to tell you to be patient. That's all. Be patient and with enough time...maybe you can both come to an understanding."
The brunette carefully considered the reindeer herders words for a second. She believed his words to be incredibly sincere – he seemed to approve of her and he obviously wanted his friend to be happy. Tina decided to accept Ryder's advice and she thanked him for speaking with her.
"Thanks for your help Ryder." she told him with a shy smile, "I'm sorry we haven't spent more time together. I'm glad Elsa has a friend like you."
"Anytime, Princess Tina." he said with a wide smile and a wink. "I know we'll meet again. And thanks. I'm just happy Elsa met someone like you."
...
Dinner, that evening, ended up being an interesting event. Barely anyone spoke – probably due to the fact that everyone knew that this would be the last time that they would all have dinner together. Queen Anna knew that she would see Princess Tina again at royal events, like dinners and trades conferences, but this was the last time she'd get to have a friendly dinner with her for (probably) a long time. But other than that, Anna's new concern was whether or not Elsa and the Princess would actually repair their – uh – relationship before tomorrow.
Queen Anna had been eyeing her sister and the princess the entire evening and with their behaviour, she didn't think that the two had spoken to one another yet. Elsa was staring at the princess as longingly and forlornly as the last day and a half, while Tina was still being too polite and not speaking to the blonde for longer than she needed to.
After dinner had concluded, and people began saying their 'goodnights' to one another, Anna was preparing to give her sister one last talking to when she noticed that Tina get out of her seat and made her way to where Elsa and Ryder were sitting. The redheaded queen slowly sat back down and kept a close watch on the interaction. Looking over to the left of the dining hall, Anna noticed that Arnold, Ingrid, and Gunn-Britt were also standing by; making sure that the interaction was going to be as civil as it could be. Anna nodded towards the trio and the handmaiden nodded back.
Everyone watched as Tina carefully made her way over to where the ice wielder was sitting. She cleared her throat to get the blonde's attention and when she was sure that she had her attention, she offered a shy smile. "Hey, um, Elsa?"
Elsa appeared generally bewildered to have Tina speaking to her without an obvious prompt. The blonde carefully looked up at the princess and flashed a nervous smile. "Y-Y-Yes P-Princess?"
"Could I speak to you?" Tina asked, shifting nervously on the balls of her feet, "Alone?" she clarified, before Elsa could answer the first bit of her question. The blonde – once again – was just as bewildered as she was a few seconds ago. Regardless of her shock, she still had to answer the princess' question.
"Uh – sure – yes." Elsa managed to croak out, suddenly feeling her mouth go dry. "Where would you like for us to go?" Tina shuffled on her feet again and appeared to be a little nervous at her incoming suggestion. Eventually, her soft amber eyes met Elsa's ice blue ones and she smiled again.
"I still have to pack some things away, for tomorrow." Tina explained, "Could you meet me at my guest bedroom in about twenty minutes?" the blonde felt her jaw go slack.
"Saucy." Ryder commented, earning a kick in his ankle by the ice wielder. "OW!" satisfied that he was too distracted by pain to make another boyish remark, Elsa offered the princess a nervous nod accompanied by her own shy smile.
"Yes, sure." the former queen confirmed, "I-I'll see you in twenty minutes." before the princess left the dining hall, she smiled and gave Elsa's shoulder a squeeze as she walked out. The blonde was just happy that it seemed Tina was intent on repairing things which made her a little more calm about their impending discussion.
She just really hoped that she could make things right this time.
...
Eighteen minutes after she left the dining hall, Tina found herself in front of her guest bedroom's mirror. Her long dark brown hair fell in loose waves over her shoulders and she was dressed in a simple off-the-shoulder cotton nightgown that was pink in colour. The sleeves were only just long enough to cover Tina's shoulders and had light frills on the ends. The torso of the nightgown was sheer with embroidered floral patters all over it. The bottom of the gown reached down to just above her ankles and around her waist, a tight little ribbon was tied in a bow.
She had finished packing away most of her things and had asked a footman to bring some of her belongings to be stored on the new carriages that Arendelle had arranged for their voyage. She figured that she didn't want to have to re-pack anything so she opted to just wear her nightgown when Elsa came to talk. She was probably pushing her luck – after all, she had no idea what would happen considering the... 'success' (or lack thereof) from their last conversation. Maybe she should have worn something a little more modest and less...well...suggestive.
Before she could get more anxious than she already was, there was a knock on her guestroom door. She looked at herself one last time in the mirror before calling out to her visitor.
"Come in," she told them, trying to sound more confident than she believed she was. Tina didn't turn away from the mirror but her eyes drifted from her own reflection down to the door's reflection. She watched as the door's handle pressed downwards and the light from the hallway creep in as the door opened.
The first thing that the princess noticed was the bottom of Elsa's snowy white dress. Under the dress, just over top the floorboards, was Elsa's icy slippers. Tina's eyes crept slowly up in the mirror until her amber eyes met ice blue ones. Although the ice wielder was barely through the door, and they hadn't said a word to one another, their eye contact through the mirror had already spoken volumes for the both of them. Taking in a sharp breath, Tina steeled herself and prepared to talk to the older woman.
Properly.
Without an argument.
"Hey." the princess said, turning around as Elsa closed the door behind her.
"Hi." the blonde replied, walking further into the room. She then avoided any further eye contact with the princess and began to fidget with her hands. Tina smiled; just watching the older woman stand there and not know what to do was endearing. Things had to be said but neither of them knew exactly where to start. As such, the princess decided to just cut through some of the tension.
"You can just sit on the bed, if you want." Tina told her, "It's getting late and I don't want you falling over during our chat." Elsa blushed and did as she was requested. Tina could see that the blonde wanted to reply, but she assumed that she just didn't have the right words and sat down on the bed. Finally, Tina fully turned to face her visitor and noticed something peculiar. "Do you sleep in that thing?"
Elsa rolled her eyes but smiled at the jab. "No, I don't." she answered with a playful smile starting at the corners of her mouth. "I didn't know you had a dress code in mind, that required sleepwear."
Tina laughed lightly. "I thought that normal people would be changed into their nighties at this time of night."
At that comment, the blonde let out a laugh of her own. "I don't think you know me that well then," she said genuinely amused, "I don't think most people consider me normal." Now the ice wielder thought that she was going to get a laugh out of the princess. However, when the blonde met her eyes, Tina had a very serious expression on her face. She wasn't cross and she wasn't sad – she just looked serious.
"I want to." was all that the princess said. Elsa was puzzled – not exactly sure what the brunette's statement was in response to.
"You want to what?"
"You said that I don't know you that well." Tina responded simply, "I said that I want to."
"I...I know." Elsa told her. She looked up at Tina and just sighed. "I wish you could."
The brunette looked back and gave her a sad smile. "Me too." was her simple reply.
Both women just stared at one another in comfortable silence. There was no animosity or anger between them – just what seemed to be sorrow and another form of tension that neither of them could place.
"I'm sorry about the other day." they both ended up saying at the exact same time. After a few nervous giggles, they settled and Tina started their official conversation.
"I'm sorry that I had been so...avoidant of you." Tina offered apologetically, "I shouldn't have shut down and stormed off." the blonde just shook her head.
"No – no, you were well within your right to do so." Elsa rebutted very adamant in her tone, as she stood up to meet Tina where she stood, "I was letting my panic take over my thoughts and I wasn't being fair. I wasn't listening to you." Elsa reached out to hold the brunette's hands tenderly in her own. "I'm sorry."
Tina shuffled their joined hands so that she was now holding Elsa's in her own. She looked up into ice blue eyes and carefully brought the ice wielder's pale hands to her lips. She kissed the blonde's knuckles softly, closing her eyes at the contact. The only thing that Elsa could do was inhale sharply. She watched with intent as the brunette kissed her hand as tenderly as possible. All the blonde could think in that moment was that she desperately wished that her own lips could replace her hands.
"I'm not going to say that it's alright, because it wasn't." Tina told her. "But I forgive you." she then looked into icy blue eyes and tried to convey the utmost sincerity that she could. "This is new territory – for the both of us – and...I should have been more patient. For that, I'm sorry too."
Elsa just smiled at the younger woman. "While I disagree with your reaction, I can accept your apology and I forgive you as well." and then, Elsa tugged the princess closer to her and just held her in a tight embrace. The younger woman pulled herself in closer and tucked her face into the blonde's neck. They just stood there for some time, not saying anything, just enjoying the moment that they were sharing.
After a few minutes of silence, Elsa decided to break it. "What now?"
"I guess we talk...for real." Tina said with slight hesitancy in her voice.
"Okay." Elsa agreed. She pulled away from the embrace – not enough to severe it, but to just look Tina in the eyes. When she had the woman's attention, she began to speak. "I...I should offer an explanation for my initial reaction, to your proposal, from the day before. About letters and friendship." Elsa took a deep breath before continuing her explanation. "The truth is...I don't want that because that's not what we have. I...I'm not sure exactly what I think this feeling is, but it's strong and it's for you." she tightened her hold on the brunette's waist and hoped to convey what her words could not. "I like you. A lot." she told her, "And I don't want you to be...affiliated with me while you are supposed to be married."
"But why not?" Tina asked, looking into Elsa's eyes.
Elsa could have said anything. She could have lied and said that she just didn't want to continue any of this. She could have just reverted back into herself and shut down. However, looking into soft amber eyes, in the dimly lit glow of the room, Elsa couldn't even imagine lying to Tina right now. "I can't stand the idea of being idle while someone – I mean – when someone else has the – I-I-I just can't fathom the idea of being helpless when someone else –!"
"Can kiss me?" Tina finished, finding slight amusement at the usually verbose woman's lack of words. She smirked up at the blonde and watched as the taller woman laughed a little.
"Among other things, but generally: yes." the ice wielder admitted very timidly. "What I feel for you is entirely too strong for friendship and I don't want to ruin myself."
"You don't want to end up like Heathcliff?" Tina asked, smirking again. At the callback to one of their earliest conversations, Elsa let herself laugh a bit.
"Exactly." the blonde stated. "I fear that I might if you are just right in front of me, and I can't do anything about it."
"Well..." Tina said, returning to her spot between Elsa's chin and shoulder, "Call me hopeless, but I think you will be a much better friend to me than Heathcliff was to Catherine."
At that, Elsa decided to play into the theory. "How so?"
"For starters..." Tina sighed, snuggling further into Elsa's neck, "I think you're less...rough around the edges."
The ice wielder let out a hearty laugh that almost turned into a full out snort. "I'd hope so."
Once that was settled, Tina pulled away again to ask a question of her own. "Can I explain why I suggested the letters?" she figured that Elsa shouldn't be the only one baring their soul tonight.
The blonde just nodded. "Of course."
"I wanted to...call me delusional if you must..." Tina told her, a little bashfully, "but I wanted to live it out a little longer. Just pretend that I could discover something with you. That we could try."
"You aren't delusional," Elsa said, holding her closer. "You just don't want to be confined to a role you didn't choose."
Tina sighed and pulled away a little from the embrace, just far enough to look at Elsa's reactions. "I just wanted to pretend for a little while longer." the brunette admitted, "To have as much of what could be for as long as possible." Elsa gazed into her soft amber eyes and knew that there was about one thousand more things that needed to be said. However, they didn't have time. She decided that if they were going to be anything tonight, they should be bold.
They should pretend.
"I mean..." Elsa said with a small shrug of her shoulders, "...we have some time now, don't we?"
The brunette looked up at her once more with a curious expression. "What are you suggesting?"
"I'm not sure." Elsa admitted, "But...I do know that I want to pretend for a little too."
"Can you kiss me?" Tina asked softly, just above an octave of a whisper, "Please?" she asked again, wrapping her arms around the ice wielder's neck.
One of Elsa's hands moved from its' place on Tina's waist and up to the princess' chin, angling her gaze upwards and towards Elsa. "I'd like nothing better." and with that, Tina pulled herself up to meet the blonde's lips with her own. The kiss was slow and languid; mostly exploratory. It was fairly clear that neither woman wanted to part ways just yet. It was a perfect moment that they were sharing and they didn't want it to end.
They could pretend.
Just for a little while.