"It is not as if we are telling the dementors to seek out Potter, merely that we are encouraging the dementors to seek out those deviants who have chosen to go against the ministry," Umbridged chirped sweetly in the private cabinet meeting, to a less than enthusiastic audience.
"I understand Dolores, but imagine the backlash if the Potter boy is hurt, or Merlin help us if a kiss is accidentally performed? The Prophet has done a good job delegitimizing the boy, but Circe help us the boy is seriously maimed or harmed."
"Minister, in the history of Azkaban, has a kiss ever been delivered to someone who isn't guilty? If the boy is kissed, it wouldn't be an accident, it would be justice. Who knows what that boy is guilty of? A real dark wizard would be manipulative enough to hide behind the smoke screen of a light. How well do you really know Harry Potter?"
The minister paused, uncertain of the niggling thought that had just been wedged into his mind. Percy watched carefully as Fudge's face traipsed through the rationale Umbridge had so carefully underlined. It was no surprise that Umbridge was a Slytherin.
"I always wondered, he didn't seem very apologetic when he blew up his aunt, did he? In fact, he seemed rather pleased with himself and solely concerned with his admission to Hogwarts? And now he has partnered with Dumbledore, it does seem rather odd."
"Exactly Minister, we must be proactive. What do you think we should do? We cannot have Potter creating chaos merely for the sake of Dumbledore. We must maintain control on the government."
"Give the dementors orders to seek out political dissidents. They may not perform the kiss without authorization."
"Wonderful idea, Minister." Umbridged beamed as she accioed a quill and readied the pre-drafted legislation for Fudge's signature.
Despite his muggle clothing, it was impossible to not recognize Snape as he meandered into the muggle pub. "Weasley, a displeasure, as always."
"Professor, I have brought copies of the legislation being passed this month in Wizagmont. Additionally, I have copies of Umbridge's lesson plans for the first term. Harry Potter will be visited by Dementors at any moment, due to an executive order signed this afternoon."
"Splendid. We'll see how well Lupin's education took with Potter. Anything else? I find the smell of muggle beer sickening."
"Sir, in private meetings, Umbridge and Fudge have been strategizing different paths of action. If Harry is taken in by Dementors to the ministry, he will be given public veritaserum and interviewed by the Prophet, as a means of penance for his lies. If he is harmed or kissed by the dementors, they plan to cover up his death as a delayed result of the Triwizard tournament, and if he attempts to defend himself, they will try him for underage wizardry." Percy pushed a small ear shaped device, that had recorded the conversation in Fudge's office and collected by Percy while he emptied the bins.
"Ah, so the Head Boy has been truly spying? Do you want a pat on the head? A treat? You are a tool, Weasley. All you are good for is following orders. I'll expect an owl at the end of next week with any updates. Lock the parchment with the phrase, "Labrador."
Snape left the pub as quickly as he came, leaving Percy feeling dejected and deflated. In truth, he had been proud. It has been difficult to hide the ear in Fudge's office. Upon retrieval, Percy thought he might have a panic attack. But Snape was right, he was in this position because of his love for orders.
He lifted his pint, still full and cold, and set his Maths homework on the table. It was easier to work in a space like this, full of noise and sound. When he was in the thick of his work, it almost felt like he was home or in the Gryffindor common room. He had just completed his first set of problems and was contemplating a second pint when he felt a small hand tapping his shoulder.
"Percy, is that you? What are you doing here? And why are you doing your homework here?"
Audrey stood in front of him, her dark hair flowing over her shoulders and her glasses sliding down her nose in the heat of the pub. She had a pint in one hand and her cheeks were flushed from the chill outside.
"Audrey! Well yes - I wanted to get out of my flat but I needed to complete my homework. I live just round the corner, so it is really quite near."
She laughed, "I've never seen someone do homework in a pub. Quite the scholar aren't you? Would you mind some company? My friend bailed on me at the last minute."
Percy quickly put his homework away, got another pint, and in short order found himself sitting excruciatingly close to Audrey. She smelled like grapefruit, he decided, simple and clean. They sat in companionable silence, sipping their ale and watching the crowd of people coalesce within the small cozy pub. Percy broke the silence, "Do you often come here?"
Audrey's eyes grew and her cheeks reddened. She was quiet for a moment before saying, "Can I tell you something? It's not that my friend bailed on me - I get lost. My friend was suppose to meet me here two hours ago, but left when I never showed. By the time I made it here, I couldn't just turn around. That's when I saw you."
"What do you mean you get lost? Have you never been here before?"
"I've been here plenty of times, there's photographic evidence. It's just I don't remember. I was in a car accident a year ago, a pretty nasty one. Ever since then, my memory has been shot. It's getting better, but things that used to be easy are hard now."
"I had no idea." Percy was processing what she said - it didn't change anything, but it was new, unexpected.
"It's so embarrassing. I was first in my class in secondary, I earned high marks on my GCSE and A-Levels! I have nothing to show for it! I can barely do pre-algebra and write an essay. I can't even walk to the pub without getting lost." Her face was red and frustrated tears threatened at the corners of her brown eyes.
"Audrey, really don't be embarrassed. I nearly set my flat on fire last week because I tried to heat up a frozen pizza in a toaster. I couldn't figure out how to turn on my shower for four days. Yesterday, at the drugstore, the clerk asked for money and I realized that I didn't have any in my wallet! And I work for the government! I've never been in an accident!"
Audrey stared at him oddly for a moment, reading Percy's face carefully to make sure she wasn't being made fun of. She blinked her eyes furiously and a small smile spread over her face as she asked, "Why would you ever think you cook a pizza in a toaster? How did you even get it to fit in the slots?"