A/N: I don't own Twilight or BtVS; they are the property of Stephanie Meyers and Joss Whedon respectively. I just like to ponder what would happen if the two worlds collided.
A/N #2: Daily updates were spoiling weren't they? My writing process is not very linear - i started this fanfic several months ago and have quite a bit of the rough draft done, and revising chapters as I go. I have several plot points done (including the final chapter) but now I need to link everything together. Plus I find myself running off to start the sequel while the idea was still fresh in my mind. All this to say that it might be more 1-2 updates a week rather than daily.
Chapter 32: Bridging the Silence
Relief washed over Jasper in waves, his heart buoyant with the prospect of finally piercing the veil that separated him from Carlisle and his family. The room seemed to brighten with his renewed determination, the air charged with a sense of purpose and anticipation. Standing by the window, he allowed himself a moment to envision the reunion, the rain outside no longer a somber backdrop but a refreshing promise of new beginnings.
However, as he turned from the window, doubt began to cast shadows over his hopeful plans. The question of how he could communicate while in a catatonic state struck him with the suddenness of a storm. The flicker of optimism that had ignited in his chest now flickered uncertainly, threatened by this new realization.
Jasper paced the length of Giles's living room, each step heavy with the weight of his quandary. "Great, I can connect to Carlisle, but how do I talk to him if I'm catatonic? I'm an empath, not a telepath! Damn it!" he muttered, frustration echoing in the room.
"Giles," Jasper voiced out, halting in his tracks. "How am I supposed to talk to Carlisle if I'm... if I'm Mr. Marble?" His gaze sought answers from Giles, who had been thoughtfully stroking his chin.
"It's a valid concern, Jasper," Giles acknowledged, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "But perhaps, within our vast resources and collective ingenuity, we can devise a workaround."
Xander, leaning against the wall, lightened the mood with his characteristic wit. "Yeah, maybe we can set up a Hellmouth radio station, where you can broadcast your thoughts directly to Carlisle. Tune in to Mr. Marble FM!" The suggestion, absurd as it was, coaxed a small, albeit strained, chuckle from Jasper.
Jasper's laughter quickly faded, replaced by a bitter edge as he resumed pacing, visibly shaking, his eyes glistening with angry tears. He swiped at his eyes in frustration, cursing, "These fucking tears!" under his breath. "That might work if it was Edward on the other end of the line," he snapped, his voice tinged with resentment. "But it's not. Carlisle doesn't have telepathy. He can't just pluck thoughts out of my head. Edward... Edward could, but he's not the one I want to reach. And frankly, I'd rather not have him near me."
The room fell silent, the gravity of Jasper's words hanging heavily in the air. Xander's expression shifted from amusement to understanding, and Giles and Willow watched Jasper intently, recognizing the raw emotion in his voice.
Jasper inhaled deeply, struggling to maintain his composure. "Edward can read minds. He can hear every thought, every whisper in someone's head. It's invasive, and it's... it's suffocating. I've spent decades trying to keep my own mind in check, dealing with everyone's emotions. But with Edward, there's no privacy. No escape. He knows everything, sees everything. And I can't... I can't handle that. Not after everything I've been through."
Willow stepped forward, her eyes soft with empathy, and gently touched Jasper's arm. He found her touch soothing, the warmth causing tingles that helped to calm his frayed nerves. "Jasper, we won't let Edward anywhere near you. Giles and I can act as intermediaries, passing along any messages or questions between you and Carlisle. That way, you can communicate without any risk of Edward interfering. You don't have to worry about that. We've got your back."
Xander nodded firmly, his usual humor replaced by sincerity. "Yeah, that guy sounds like a total jerk. And we Scoobies? We don't put up with bullies. We'll make sure he stays far away from you."
Giles nodded in agreement; his expression resolute. "Indeed. We'll explore every possible avenue. There must be a way to bridge this gap without compromising your well-being."
Jasper took a deep breath, feeling a bit more at ease with their support. "Thank you," he repeated, his voice steadier now. "I appreciate it. I just need to find a way to do this without losing myself in the process." Pausing briefly, he carried on "But you need to understand, dealing with Edward isn't just about his invasiveness. It's more than that…His feelings of disgust for me were always palpable. Every time I slipped, every time I struggled with my bloodlust, he was there, silently judging. It was suffocating. And when he met Bella, it got even worse. She was his singer, her blood calling to him in a way I've never seen. His bloodlust around her was... intense, overwhelming. And I had to feel all of that, every single day."
Jasper's pacing quickened; his movements agitated as he continued. "Imagine dealing with someone who can read your every thought, know your every fear, and on top of that, you have to endure their relentless thirst for blood and their judgment. It was unbearable. And now, trying to find a way to reach Carlisle without Edward's interference... it's just... it's a lot."
Willow squeezed his arm gently, her touch grounding him. "Jasper, we hear you. We promise to keep Edward away. Giles and I will be the go-betweens, right Giles?" She looked at Giles and nodded, reinforcing her role.
Giles nodded, his expression reassuring. "Excellent idea, Willow. We'll make sure your messages reach Carlisle without any interference from Edward."
Jasper squeezed Willow's fingers in response, a silent gesture of gratitude. He then walked over to Giles' desk and settled down, focusing intently on writing out his questions and messages for Carlisle. His determination unwavering, Jasper ensured that nothing was overlooked.
Giles and Willow, meanwhile, moved about the kitchen, preparing another pot of tea. The gentle clinking of plates and the soft hum of the kettle filled the room, creating a soothing background for their conversation.
"Jasper seems quite determined to communicate with Carlisle," Giles remarked, glancing over at Jasper with a mixture of concern and admiration.
Willow nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. "He's been through a lot," she replied, her voice tinged with empathy. "It's only natural that he wants to reconnect with his family. He confided in me how awful Edward was to him. The invasiveness, the constant judgment... it sounds unbearable."
Giles sighed, placing a hand on Willow's shoulder. "From what Jasper has told me, Edward's behaviour has always been troubling. There was a particularly dark time when Edward's human wife, Bella, got pregnant with a hybrid child."
Willow looked puzzled. "Bella? Who's Bella?"
Giles explained, "Bella is Edward's human wife. When she became pregnant, Edward wanted her to terminate the pregnancy because he saw the child as an abomination. It was incredibly difficult for all of them, especially Jasper, who had to deal with Edward's bloodlust and disdain on top of his own struggles."
Willow's eyes widened in shock. "I had no idea. That must have been incredibly hard for Jasper."
"Indeed," Giles agreed, pouring hot water into the teapot. "Edward's influence it would appear has been a heavy burden on Jasper. It's no wonder he's so desperate to find a way to reach Carlisle without Edward's interference."
Willow stirred the tea thoughtfully. "We'll make sure Jasper gets the support he needs. He deserves a chance to reconnect with his family without this Edward jerk looming over him."
Giles nodded, a determined look in his eyes. "Indeed."
The tea steeping, Willow and Giles continued their conversation, their voices low and comforting. With fresh cups of tea in hand, the two settled on the barstools at the pass-through window counter, keeping an eye on the living room. From there, they couldn't help but overhear Xander's ongoing efforts to find a suitable spot for Jasper to sit without interfering with the TV reception.
"Okay, so if we move the armchair over here," Xander muttered to himself, "and adjust the antenna just so..."
Giles raised an eyebrow at Xander's antics, a hint of amusement in his expression. "Do you really think Mr. Marble is concerned about the TV reception, Xander?" he quipped, unable to suppress a smile.
Xander shrugged, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Hey, you never know," he replied with a chuckle. "I'm the one who wants to watch the game, after all. Can't have the Hellmouth radio messing up my reception."
Meanwhile, Jasper continued to work diligently on his list, ensuring that every detail was accounted for. His pen moved with a steady rhythm, marking the passage of thoughts to paper. His list—a mixture of updates on his condition, assurances of safety, and reflections on his dietary adjustments—was a testament to his journey towards understanding and adaptation in this new reality. Crucially, he emphasized that the Slayer was not a threat; if anything, she could be counted on as a valuable ally.
Handing his meticulously prepared messages to Willow, Jasper's request was tinged with a quiet intensity. "Could you make sure Carlisle gets this?" he implored, underscoring the urgency of his need for connection.
As Willow took the papers, Jasper's fingers lingered, lightly tracing the back of her hand. The warmth and calm she exuded were almost intoxicating to him, a soothing balm to his often-tumultuous thoughts. Willow responded with a gentle squeeze, her touch reassuring and grounding. She was like a panacea to Jasper—where Edward's protectiveness was often sharp and distrustful, Willow's support was gentle and unwavering.
"Absolutely, Jasper. Your words will reach Carlisle," she affirmed, her promise reflecting the solidarity of their group. Jasper held her gaze a moment longer, drawing strength from the connection before finally letting go.
Unnoticed by Willow, Jasper discreetly slipped a second list into Giles' hand, his expression unreadable. Giles glanced down at the unexpected note, raising an eyebrow in silent inquiry. Jasper merely gave him a meaningful look before turning his attention back to Willow.
As Xander declared the living room layout mission accomplished, he proudly gestured to the strategically placed armchair. "Okay, Mr. Marble," he said with exaggerated enthusiasm, "how about we set you up right over here? You'll have a great view of the game, and you won't be hogging the whole couch."
Jasper couldn't help but chuckle at Xander's elaborate setup, appreciating the blend of concern and humour. "Thank you, Xander," he said, his amusement clear. "I'll be sure to stay out of your way."
As Jasper settled into the armchair, his thoughts drifted to a different time and place. Xander's casual request, wrapped in warmth and dare he believe in friendship, stood in stark contrast to Edward's way of handling things. Edward, for all his love and concern, could never make a simple request without an underlying threat. His insistence that Jasper stay away from Bella had been laced with unspoken dangers, a reminder of the volatile nature of their existence. Edward's protectiveness often veiled a distrust that lingered like a shadow, making Jasper feel more like a liability than a family member. Some brother he is.
Xander, on the other hand, made no such implications. His request was straightforward, imbued with a trust that Jasper rarely encountered. It was a subtle yet profound difference. Xander believed in his ability to control himself, trusted in his efforts to integrate into their world. The simple act of offering him a seat was devoid of suspicion, a small but meaningful gesture that spoke volumes about the bond they were forming. It was a refreshing change, one that Jasper found himself deeply appreciating as he navigated this new chapter of his life.
With Jasper deep in thought and Xander preoccupied with finding the game, Willow lingered close by, still feeling the pull towards Jasper even as she moved towards Giles. She couldn't help but glance back at Jasper, their eyes meeting briefly, a silent conversation passing between them.
Giles took the opportunity to discreetly examine the second list, his intrigue piqued by Jasper's more personal inquiries. He muttered to himself about the unique challenge they presented, "Certainly not covered in the Watcher's Handbook." The unexpected depth of Jasper's questions reminded him of the unexplored complexities lying ahead.
As Giles watched Jasper and Willow interact, he couldn't help but notice the subtle signs of a deepening bond. The way their eyes met with understanding, the effortless exchange of smiles, and the quiet moments of laughter shared between them didn't escape his observant gaze. It was clear that their relationship was evolving, moving beyond the confines of mere friendship into something more tender and potentially romantic.
This observation, while heartwarming in one light, presented Giles with a new set of considerations. The thought of discussing Jasper's possible romantic interest in Willow with Carlisle added a layer of intricacy to an already multifaceted situation. The notion of navigating these personal waters with the patriarch of Jasper's family was daunting, to say the least.
Giles let out a resigned sigh, acknowledging the delicacy of the matter at hand. He understood the importance of addressing Jasper's personal inquiries with care and discretion, especially those that touched upon the intimate aspects of his life and, by extension, his burgeoning relationship with Willow. The complexity of a vampire-witch romance was not lost on him, reminiscent of past relationships that had tested the boundaries of love and danger.
He couldn't help but compare it to Buffy's tumultuous relationships with Angel and Spike. Buffy and Angel's love had been tragic, their moments of happiness always overshadowed by the curse that threatened Angel's soul. With Spike, Buffy's relationship had been intense and raw, built on a foundation of shared pain and redemption. And then there was Willow and Oz, whose love had been tender and transformative until Oz's struggle with his werewolf nature tore them apart. Each relationship had its own unique challenges and heartbreaks, shaping their understanding of love and trust in a world fraught with supernatural complexities.
Despite Jasper's unpredictable behaviours over the past few days—hissing, purring, crying, and occasional short temper—Giles did not perceive him as a direct threat. Jasper's reactions seemed more akin to a wounded animal than a malevolent force. The vampire had been recovering from severe injuries and had never displayed violence towards them. Well except towards Spike and really, doesn't Captain Peroxide need to be put down a peg or two? Giles observed Jasper's vulnerability and the efforts he made to integrate and control himself, which spoke volumes about his character.
But playing devil's advocate, Giles couldn't entirely shake off the underlying worry. Jasper's unpredictable nature was a constant reminder of the inherent risks of having a vampire, no matter how well-intentioned, close to Willow. Memories of past experiences with vampires who had turned dangerous at the slightest provocation were hard to forget. Giles had witnessed the destruction that could follow a vampire losing control, and even the best intentions couldn't always stave off the worst outcomes.
He also considered the emotional toll on Willow if things went awry. Willow had been through enough heartache, 5 years on from the tragic death of Tara and Willow still got teary eyed speaking of her. Giles feared the potential fallout if Jasper's temper flared in a way that caused harm. It wasn't just about physical danger; the emotional scars could run deep and long-lasting. The last thing he wanted was for Willow to endure more pain. Or herald in another era of Black Willow.
Yet, he acknowledged Willow's autonomy and her history of cautious relationship-building. Unlike Buffy, who often dived headfirst into relationships with vampires, Willow tended to proceed slowly and thoughtfully, allowing her to evaluate situations carefully. Willow's prowess as a powerful Wiccan also meant she had the ability to protect herself and could potentially use magic to mitigate risks.
Despite the potential awkwardness of the situation and the personal discomfort it might bring, Giles was committed to approaching the topic with the same level of professionalism and empathy he afforded all matters. He recognized the necessity of offering guidance and support to Jasper, who was navigating not only the complexities of a new environment but also the vulnerabilities of new affections.
With a firm resolve, and perhaps some Dutch courage to get through the more uncomfortable questions, Giles prepared himself to broach the subject with Carlisle, if necessary, ensuring that Jasper's questions were answered, and his concerns addressed. Casually, he placed a bottle of Scotch on his desk, as if it had always been there, a silent companion for the challenging conversation ahead. It was a delicate balance, maintaining the confidentiality and trust of those under his care while also facilitating open and honest communication among all parties involved. Giles knew that fostering understanding and acceptance within their unconventional family was crucial for their collective growth and stability.