Chapter Two:
Jimmy rode west for several days, fighting the urge to push Sundance too hard in his eagerness to reach Sweetwater. For better or for worse, he needed to know the truth.
Teaspoon was right, of course. They may want nothing to do with him after all this time, but he could never live with himself if he didn't try. He had been haunted by the way they had left things.
His relationship with Kid had always been complicated. Evenly matched in every way, they had come to blows on more than one occasion. But there was still no one else he would rather have by his side when the odds were stacked against him. Harsh words had hung in the air at their parting, words about betrayaland treason and damnable honor. Jimmy realized now, with the distance of time, that he had really been angry at Kid for having the gall to leave him behind and move on, when their very world was crumbling around them, and the ground was shifting under their feet. Jimmy had felt his hold on the only real family he had ever known slipping through his fingers, and he was powerless to stop it. In that moment, Kid leaving for Virginia, and taking Lou with him, had felt like the ultimate betrayal.
And then there was Lou. He doubted that he would ever be able to fully understand his feelings for her. She was the one who had kept him grounded, reminded him who he really was. When the rest of the world saw only Wild Bill, Lou saw Jimmy. Stripped back to his very soul. He loved her. That much was clear. And he was probably in love with her, too. Though he had never allowed himself to admit as much, even to himself. What would have been the point? She had made her choice, and it was the right one. Kid was the better man on every count. And what did he have to offer anyone besides a life of danger and uncertainty? No, he didn't fault her for her choice. But he had been hurt by her leaving just the same and said things he wished he could take back.
If it was them at the old waystation, this would be his chance to make amends. To get out from under the weight that had settled in his chest the moment they had gone.
He reached the waystation as the sun was setting. He knew he should wait until morning, approach at a respectable hour, especially if the new owners turned out to be strangers. But he couldn't stop himself from riding on, not when he was so close.
As he approached the station yard, all was quiet. He almost thought Barnett had been wrong and that the place was still abandoned. Time and weather had done their damage, and Jimmy had difficulty seeing the homestead as it had once been. Only the bunkhouse seemed untouched, which somehow felt fitting. Its sturdy, primitive walls had always been a haven in the storm for the rough and ready group of riders, all orphans of one sort or another.
Then, movement to his left drew his attention to the corral beside the barn. There, in the dimming light of the setting sun, stood a black stallion with a white blaze and a paint mare whose markings would be fixed in his memory until the day he died. He would know those horses anywhere, and so, apparently, would Sundance. She tossed her head and nickered in recognition. Lightning and Katy stuck their heads over the fence in response. He fought back the sudden sensation of tears at the thought that they somehow remembered one another and were happy to see each other again. He could only hope for the same response from their owners.
He was suddenly gripped by doubt and almost turned Sundance around on the spot. This is stupid. I got no business being here, he thought as he shook his head to clear it.
It was in that moment that the barn door pushed open, and Lou appeared, struggling under the weight of a heavy bucket. In the few moments before she was aware of his presence, Jimmy watched her. Gone was the girl he had once known. She was a woman now, and a beautiful one at that. Her hair was longer, pulled back in a messy braid, clearly more for function than fashion. She had on a work shirt and breeches, and while still lithe and athletic, she had feminine curves that had never been present in her younger years. His breath caught a little in his throat and his heart pounded in his ears. He cursed himself internally for the way his body always responded to her presence.
Sundance shifted her weight uncertainly, as if she sensed the unsteadiness of her rider. It was that movement that finally caught Lou's attention.
She looked up, her eyes sweeping quickly over the familiar palomino and locking with Jimmy's. Everything was completely still for a moment. Suddenly, she lost her grip on the bucket she had been holding and it slipped, water drenching her violently as the bucket made contact with the ground. She then collapsed in a heap in the dirt.
Shocked at her reaction, it took a moment for Jimmy to process what had happened and respond. When he finally did move, he leapt from Sundance and rushed to Lou's side. He gathered her to him in one smooth motion, and her presence in his arms felt irrationally comfortable and familiar. He placed a hand on her cheek and patted her, gently at first and then more forcefully, in an attempt to rouse her.
After a few minutes that felt interminable to Jimmy, Lou began to stir. She opened her eyes and looked directly at him once again. For an instant, there was a softening in the face he still knew better than his own. But it was gone in a flash, replaced by a coldness he had never seen there before. She placed both hands directly on his chest and pushed away with all her might. Lou had always been strong for her size, and more than a little feisty, but the force of her reaction caught him off guard and left him to fall back on his haunches.
She stood on shaky limbs and glared down at him in the dirt.
"Leave here and don't ever come back," she said, voice full of ice and malice. Then she turned on her heels and almost ran to the bunkhouse. She slammed the door, and Jimmy heard the lock fall forcefully into place behind it with a finality that felt like a slap in the face.