Konan's Rampage
Akatsuki Base
After being pushed into a mud puddle by Itachi, Konan decided to take a bath. "All right," she announced. "Please be quiet while I'm taking my bath, or I will be very angry."
Tobi was hungry. He had eaten all the food that he could find. He went to Deidara's room, where Deidara was eating chocolate pocky. "Deidara-sempai, can I have some?"
"No."
"Pleeeeaaaasee?"
"No. Shut up, Tobi, unn."
"Pretty please?" Tobi begged.
"Alright, fine, here. Now go away, Tobi, unn."
"Yaay! Thanks, Deidara-sempai!" Tobi frolicked out of the room. This made Deidara so annoyed that he threw a chunk of detonating clay at Tobi. This, of course, did nothing because the clay went right through Tobi. The clay exploded, blowing a giant crater in the floor. Suddenly, Kakuzu appeared, screaming about expenses. Deidara tried to blow him up too. It did not work. Hidan walked up and started yelling something about Lord Jashin not being happy.
Tobi slowly backed away from the three bickering Akatsuki and bumped into Zetsu, who accidentally ate the pocky. Tobi flopped on the floor and sobbed his eyeballs out. Itachi heard the noise and thought that it was Sasuke.
"Sasuke! You may have grown stronger since we last met, but not strong enough! You still lack hatred!" Itachi's eyes turned blood-red. "MANGEKYO SHARINGAN!" He threw a giant fireball down the hall and incinerated all the furniture.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COUCH COST?!" Kakuzu yelled.
Pain appeared and tried to break up the fight. Instead, his ribs were broken up.
Kisame barreled around the corner with Samehada, thinking the base was under attack. He took one look at the carnage, shrieked, and fainted.
Meanwhile…
Konan was trying to take a nice, peaceful shower. The screaming, shrieking, and thwacking was making it very un-peaceful.
Pain was trying to resuscitate Kisame, Deidara was trying to shove C4 clay up Kakuzu's nose (and failing), and Zetsu and Itachi were wrestling in the corner. Suddenly, Konan appeared wearing a fluffy Akatsuki-print bathrobe and started flinging carp everywhere. Kakuzu started screaming about the cost of cleaning up fish goop. Konan shoved a trout down his throat.
At exactly the wrong moment, Kisame came to and asked the worst question possible.
"Konan, where did you get the—"
He was cut short by a fish to the face. Kakuzu hacked up the trout and started yelling again. The carp resumed flying at twice the initial velocity and rate, forcing everyone to hide in their rooms until Pain stopped Konan's rampage.
THE END.