Sitting in Xena's study, Gabrielle found herself somewhat speechless as she had been taken completely off guard by the unexpected apology she had just received from the typically cold woman sitting across from her. Someone who Gabrielle knew had killed countless people. Raided and taken over numerous village's and cities. Who since Gabrielle had met her had been cold, distant, calculating in almost everything that she said and did. And of whom Gabrielle had both heard of and witnessed first hand the aftermath of multiple violent outburst in various scenarios both in and outside of the keep. None of which to Gabrielle's knowledge, the woman had never appeared to be remorseful for in the slightest. So because of all of this, Gabrielle couldn't help but feel highly confused as to what the reason could have been for why the Conqueror had felt it necessary for her to offer the young woman an apology now. And fearing that it may have been some kind of trick or something to see her reaction, though Gabrielle still felt fairly shaken from the encounter that had taken place between herself and the Conqueror, she thought it would be wiser for her to just lie and pretend that what had happened between herself and the Conqueror didn't really bother her.
GABRIELLE
Thank you. I appreciate your apology my lord.
Xena watched as Gabrielle lowered her head and looked away while she sat there feeling very clearly extremely tense and uncomfortable with just being in Xena's presence. However her behavior didn't come to much of a surprise to Xena, as the Conqueror's suspicions of what she may have done to the young woman appeared to be showing clear signs of being true. And for all of Xena's very many faults and all of the truly horrible, unforgivable acts that she had committed throughout the years, along with killing children and non combatant women, forcing herself on anyone was one of the very few lines that Xena had vowed to herself that she would never cross. In days long before making her home at the keep and using it as her standard base of operations, the Conqueror had spent many years traveling across the various lands in an effort to take as much of those places as hers in some way. And it was through those travels that she had come across multiple scenarios where all too often women were treated as nothing but bartering tools to gain an advantage over ones enemy by holding them for a ransom of some kind. Or they were kept to used for nothing more than to satisfy those who held positions of power in every way imaginable. From being forced to provide the most basic of needs, to being used and abused in some of the darkest and most sinister ways that anyone could possibly imagine. And being a woman herself in a world and lifestyle that was largely dominated by those exact types of men, Xena was very well aware of how drastically different the way that men and women were treated in both the dark world she had lived in. As well as in the way they were typically viewed in regular, everyday society. And though the levels of imbalance between men and women may have differed drastically between the two words, it didn't change the fact that far too many women and girls were taking advantage of and treated horrifically in both. And although being a woman herself, Xena had somehow been fortunate enough to had been able to gather the right skills that allowed her to rise above any obstacle or barrier that may have come her way due to her being a woman. It was only once her reputation had began to become something resembling what it was now, when for the most part people appeared to no longer think twice about whether she was a man or a woman, and learned to show their respect, fear or a healthy mix of both for her. So to have there even be the possibility that the Conqueror had crossed a boundary that she had sworn she never would and done something so incredibly heinous, caused Xena to feel a level of guilt and shame that she until that moment she had thought to be impossible. So with a feeling pure remorse that she so seldomly truly experienced at this level, Xena stood from her seat and walked over to the window as she tried to think of what, if anything she could possibly do to possibly even begin to fix what she had done.
GABRIELLE
Um, my lord?
Hearing Gabrielle's voice, Xena turned to face her.
XENA
Yes?
GABRIELLE
If it okay for me to ask, I was wondering if there was a reason why you came to my room last night?
Xema sighed, somehow finding herself suddenly feeling even worse than she already had just a moment earlier as she suddenly realized that she had been making this whole situation far too much about herself not about the innocent young woman in front of her. Of whom Xena was certain must've been feeling so many different emotions that had undoubtedly been made worse by being brought to an isolated room with her attacker. So in a first, small attempt at doing what she could to try and ease Gabrielle's suffering, Xena felt it fair that she should be as honest with the young woman as possible about what she could actually remember about the night before. Though Xena knew that her answers wouldn't likely be nearly good enough to ease much, if any of Gabrielle's pain. But even so, Xena knew that even giving what little bit of insight into what happened as she could would be something that could slowly begin Gabrielle down the road to eventually moving past this. So with that in mind Xena was prepared to answer whatever questions that Gabrielle might have had as best and as honestly as she could.
XENA
I wish I could tell you. But I just don't remember.
GABRIELLE
I see.
Xena sighed as she rubbed her forehead and walked in front of her desk as she leaned back slightly against it, gathering her thoughts for what she should say.
XENA
Listen even though I don't remember what happened I just wanted to let you know that none of it was your fault. I... never meant to do what I did. And I'll understand if you don't wanna talk about it, least of all with me of all people, but if there's anything I can do just say the word. I know that it might not seem like it but what I did, that's not me. I may have done a lot of things that many would say is the work of an evil woman, but I never wanted or imagined that forcing myself onto another person would be one of them.
The room fell quiet as Xena looked at Gabrielle seeing a look of confusion cross the woman's face before she spoke, realizing what the Conqueror had apparently thought she had done.
GABRIELLE
Wait you really don't need to apologize my lord, you...
XENA
No I do. What I did wasn't right. Listen...
Xena moved closer to where Gabrielle sat and crouched down in front of her, getting down to a more even level with her. The new height of Xena's position allowed Gabrielle to look directly into the woman's eyes that normally held an intense coldness and instead saw something that she never imagined that she'd see. Which was remorse, sadness and concern as she heard Xena continue.
XENA
No, no one, no matter who someone is or whatever power they might hold, ever has the right to touch someone in that way without the other person's permission. You understand? No one. And I'm no exception. So yes I do think that giving you an apology is the very least that I can do giving what I've done.
GABRIELLE
But you didn't.
Xena's expression changed to match Gabrielle sense of confusion that she'd felt for the majority of their conversation up to that point.
XENA
I didn't?
GABRIELLE
No.
XENA
You're sure? I want you to be completely honest with me here. You don't have to be afraid of getting into any kind of trouble or being punished for telling me the truth if anything happened, understand? I swear my life on it.
It was in those words and the expression on Xena's face that Gabrielle saw a level of sincerity and care that she until that moment never imagined the infamous Conqueror capable of and briefly reflected on how yet again the woman was somehow so frighteningly similar and yet vastly different from everything about her that Gabrielle had ever heard.
GABRIELLE
You scared me and said some stuff that I don't really understand, but you didn't hurt me.
Xena sighed feeling a bit of relief as she looked Gabrielle in her eyes just wanting to be completely certain that Gabrielle was telling her the truth. And just saying what she thought Xena wanted to hear out of fear for what might happen to her.
XENA
You promise?
GABRIELLE
I promise.
Being a good judge of knowing when she was being lied to, Xena could see that Gabrielle was telling her the truth and took the young woman at her word that she hadn't assaulted her and felt an im·mense sense of relief wash over her as she turned and returned to her seat behind the desk.
XENA
Well I suppose that settles that.
(Thinking to herself) I think after this it might be a good idea if I lay off the booze for a while. I really don't wanna have something like this mess happening again.
Now relieved beyond belief that she hadn't done something truly horrible to the young woman, Xena looked at Gabrielle as she felt herself able to now ask her more details about what did actually take place between them.
XENA
If you would, I'd appreciate it greatly if you could tell me whatever you can about what happened when I came to your room last night. And again you needn't fear any repercussions for telling the truth about what happened regardless of whatever you may have to say, alright?
GABRIELLE
Okay. I'll try, but I don't really know what to say. It was all so strange and frightening. You were saying things that I didn't really understand or make sense.
XENA
It's alright, just tell me what you can. Even if it doesn't make sense or you think it doesn't matter.
GABRIELLE
Okay.
Gabrielle sat there as she recalled the whole highly uncomfortable and frightening interaction that had taken place between the Conqueror and herself during the late hours of the night before to Xena who sat in silence as she listened until Gabrielle was finished.
GABRIELLE
And that's what happened.
XENA
I see. Thank you Gabrielle. I appreciate your honesty. While I might not have done what I feared I had, I'm certain that regardless the situation was still very frustrating for you and I'll be sure that I do everything within my power to ensure that nothing like this ever happens again.
GABRIELLE
Thank you my lord.
XENA
Very good. That'll be all. You may go now.
GABRIELLE
Yes my lord..
Gabrielle stood from her seat and began to make her way to the door before Xena thought of one more thing that she still wanted to ask and called to Gabrielle before she made her way to the door.
XENA
Actually there is one more thing I need to know about what happened.
Gabrielle paused in her step as she turned back to face the Conqueror who remained in her seat at her desk.
GABRIELLE
I'm afraid I don't really know what more I can tell you my lord. The whole situation happened so fast and as I said I couldn't really make sense of anything you were saying or doing.
XENA
Yes I know. However my question isn't about me but rather about what "you" did.
A feeling of fear washed over Gabrielle as she silently chastised herself for believing the Conqueror when she had told her that nothing she said would get her in trouble or be held against her. And what had she said specifically that could have angered the woman when she previously had seemed truly genuine in wanting Gabrielle to tell her the truth. Gabrielle quietly found herself fearing that she could have been wrong in seeing a level of compassion in the Conqueror and thought that maybe she actually shouldn't have been honest with the women after all as she spoke, trying to think of a way she could somehow get herself out of this entire situation.
GABRIELLE
I'm sorry really. You said that you wanted me to tell you what happened. If this was some kind of test or you really didn't want me to tell you I'm sorry. I just... I...
XENA
Relax I meant what I said and you aren't in any kind of trouble.
Hearing the Conqueror speak, Gabrielle paused her nervous rambling as Xena continued.
XENA
I just wanted to know that given what happened and knowing who I am, why you decided to help me as I was on the floor in agony.
Gabrielle stood there for a moment as she thought about how strange of a question it was that she had just been asked as she thought the answer had seemed perfectly obvious. But after talking a second to get past the oddness of the question when she remembered exactly who had asked it, Gabrielle Xena answered honestly.
GABRIELLE
You were in pain. I couldn't stand there and do nothing.
XENA
Why? What am I to you but someone keeping you captive. You, like many others would only benefit if I were to have died.
GABRIELLE
Because I can't just stand by and let someone suffer and possibly die. I just didn't wanna be like...
Realizing what she was about to say without thinking, Gabrielle quietly stopped herself mid sentence and hoped that her slip of the tongue had gone unnoticed. But Xena already knew full well what Gabrielle had intended to say without her needing to finish.
XENA
Like me.
Gabrielle stood there frozen in place as she was certain that her words had undoubtedly insulted and angered the Conqueror. She wondered if she should even bother trying to apologize or just simply make a run for it and hope she could escape. But before Gabrielle could decide on what it was she thought she should do, Xena continued and like she had already done at the beginning of this conversation, said something that Gabrielle never would have expected.
XENA
You shouldn't.
TO BE CONTINUED...