The busy streets echoed throughout the city, full of life and luster. But deep in the suburbs, the buildings laid silent and heavy. Death lingered in the air, up above an abandoned plot of land. Its dirt and weeds left forgotten and overlooked by all who passed by it daily, save for those in need of a fitting spot for their showdown.
Two brothers in arms sat at the center of this empty lot. A pair of men who had grown past their prime, though they'd both hesitate to admit they were a day above 40. Genma Saotome and Soun Tendo of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts were drinking from a bottle of sake. They used Soun's finest bowls for the occasion.
Before them were two sticks of lit incense. They both knew who the first was for, but the identity of the second soul being prayed for was yet to be decided.
"It's been 20 years," said Soun. "How time flies."
"That's right," Genma spoke solemnly. "Hard to believe we both managed to live this long."
The wind flew, echoing through the early night as the two men both feared to speak another word. Their minds were filled with thoughts of the lost soul that brought them here. One that had haunted them for exactly 20 years to this day.
They remembered it like it was yesterday. Just an ordinary day of training under their strict master. Yes, just a regular day of stuffing women's underwear into jars quickly enough to avoid the police searching for the serial panty thief in the area. It was a difficult challenge, but nothing the young men couldn't handle. It was the only way to complete the training under their old master.
To celebrate a job well done, Genma and Soun went over to the nearby festival. They ate to their heart's content with the money they had saved up.
"Aren't festivals the best, old buddy?" asked Genma, who was proudly patting his best friend's back.
"You said it, Saotome," said Young Soun. "The Master's so superstitious of spirits coming out to celebrate on days like this that even he can't get up to his mischievous ways. I look forward to every festival where we can visit the local shrines and enjoy some peace and quiet for once."
The two laughed with such gusto they neglected to notice the nearby people awkwardly staring at these two loud bums waving around as many stick-based food items as they could carry. They were having the time of their lives.
"Excuse me," cried a soft voice. "Would you two gentlemen care to help me?"
The two men looked to the side at the source of the angelic voice. A beautiful shrine maiden was standing next to a pile of wood and a run down booth. Beside her was an old man, fanning himself with one hand and clenching his back with another.
The woman's eyes shined like stars, leaving the two men growing beat red as they wolfed down their food and rushed to her aid. She smiled at their readiness.
"This stall here seems to have broken down," she explained. "I'm worried someone might get hurt if it collapses. It's by a busy spot where many people walk on the way to the shrine. Unfortunately, the carpenter we called couldn't rush out in time to fix it, and both the stall's owner and I are too weak to fix it ourselves. Could you two be so generous as to help us, please?"
Genma rushed to lift the largest stack of wood he could find. "Why I'd be glad to help, miss. Just leave it to me. Ha ha ha ha!"
Soun grabbed a bucket of nails and attempted to wrestle the wood out of his enemy's hands. "Why, Genma, you know you couldn't use a hammer to save your life. Just let me handle this. I'll help out this beautiful young lady. Ahah hah hah."
The shrine maiden clenched her hands before her and smiled. "Oh, you're both so kind. Thank you so much."
As beautiful bubbles filled the screen beside her, the woman's beauty continued to captivate the two young men.
"Let me just move this piece here."
"Now now, I've got this. Just let me grab this peace here one sec."
"Just what do you think you're doing, Tendo? I saw her first!"
"As if! I'm here to do a good job fixing this thing. You'll just break everything."
"Oh yeah? Just watch me!"
The shrine maiden, still sparkling, looked on with concern as the two men fought over the lumber supplies. "Um, please be careful. Some of those supports are rotting and-"
Crack!
Somewhere, underneath the two men, a part of the wooden stall was knocked during the commotion and snapped in two. What was left of the broken stall immediately collapsed, showering the shrine maiden in heavy piles of wood and tools. Her body was completely crushed.
Genma and Soun stared in awe at the destruction of the stall, waiting for any sign of movement, but the lovely maiden did not stir. They both gulped as they glanced at the growing crowd of onlookers loudly whispering about what they had just seen.
"Now you've done it!" said the old man who was watching. "That girl you just crushed was the fairest shrine maiden in the entire country! She was voted cutest maiden in Shrines Monthly!"
"I-It wasn't my fault. He's the one who-"
"No no, it was his fault. I was just trying to-"
"Can it!" shouted another old man, jumping in from off screen.
Happosai, the elderly mentor of the two, knocked the boys upside their heads. He leapt to the ground, arms crossed in disappointment, before turning to his two students.
"Do you boys know what you've done! Killing a shrine maiden on a night like this? You have any idea how many restless spirits are gonna get angry over losing such a beauty? That's 1000 years of bad luck on anyone who enters this shrine!"
"1000 years?" cried Genma.
"Bad luck, you say?" cried Soun.
"That's right," said Happosai. "Now if I recall, my buddies who worked in shrines used to tell me about this stuff. They say if a shrine maiden dies in an unfortunate accident like this, her soul cannot be laid to rest. She'll become a demon, cursing the gods of the shrine itself if she's not given peace within the next 20 years!"
"Now, come on," said Soun. "Where did you hear a story like that, Master?"
"Yeah," Genma replied. "I've never heard of a superstition like that. And how exactly is she meant to find peace, anyway?"
"Quiet!" shouted Happosai. "The only way this lovely shrine maiden can be left to rest in peace is vengeance. The one who took her life must willingly give up his own, for the good of the shrine maiden and all who were left in her care."
Genma and Soun gulped once more. They both looked at each other, letting their master's words and the guilt of their actions sink in. Then they immediately began pointing fingers at each other.
"You do it!" they cried in unison.
"Why should I do it? She'd still be alive if it weren't for you wrecking everything."
"No way. You're the murderer here. If anyone should take his life, it's you!"
The two began fighting with their signature Anything Goes style of martial arts. Neither noticed the screams of people becoming shocked at the fight breaking out before them. Happosai watched over his two apprentices and shook his head. "You two better decide sometime in the next 20 years, or there'll be hell to pay," he whispered.
In the present day, Genma and Soun both let out deep sighs, remembering the curse that befell them 20 years ago.
"We can't put this off any longer, old friend," said Genma. "If we don't want that poor girl's soul to haunt this whole city, one of us has to die by the end of tonight."
"It's with a heavy heart that I agree, Saotome," said Soun, with tears in his eyes. "A sacrifice must be made to atone for our negligence."
The two men placed their sake bowls down next to the incense and stood up. They both dusted themselves off and turned to face each other. It was time to finish what they both came here for.
"I'll admit, after all these years, I still can't bring myself to end my own life," Soun said wistfully. "How could I ever leave my sweet daughters behind without a father?"
"I'm in the same boat as you," Genma replied. "I'm all my boy Ranma has left. I can't let my mistakes burden his life any more. I need to live."
Soun stood ready to fight. "Then there's only one way to settle this. If we can't take our own lives, then one of us will have to defeat the other, with the intent to kill."
Genma also armed himself with his firmest combat stance. "Precisely. It pains me to do this, but I won't hold back, even if it means killing my closest friend and ally."
"You have my respect, my friend," said Soun. "Now let us begin this honorable duel and…oh, what's that over there?"
Genma turned around to see where his friend was pointing. The night sky shined brightly behind him, completely still and empty. Before he could turn back around to question what he was supposed to be looking at, he saw a bucket of water being tossed in his direction.
"Grah!" shouted the angry panda that was man five seconds prior.
"I'm sorry, Saotome," Soun explained, "but you and I both know you've got me beat in terms of strength. The only way I could win is by slowing you down. Everyone knows speed is your greatest weakness."
Genma swiped his bear claw at his opponent, narrowly missing. He shouted his panda growl and lumbered forward with his strong but slow panda body.
Soun, meanwhile, danced around his opponent, managing to avoid every strike. There was no way he could get hit by someone this large. The duel would be his. All he had left to do was lay the finishing blow against his best friend.
"Grah!"
Genma, against all odds, managed to swing his large arms with incredible speed. He wasn't going down without a fight. Soun, taken off guard, was knocked back, only barely able to avoid being knocked over and left vulnerable.
"I didn't want it to come to this, Saotome, but I'll do anything to keep on living with my family. I'll defeat you the only way I can, with my most secret of techniques," said Soun, as he pulled out his secret weapon. "A gun!"
Soun Tendo readied his pistol and fired. Poor Genma was caught off guard and shot right in the arm. He screamed, unable to stay standing as he clenched his furry arm. Though he tried to avoid leaving himself open, he still landed flat on his panda butt, ready for the taking.
The gun shook, pointing square at its target. Soun's eyes filled with tears, barely able to see his own friend. Before him stood Genma Saotome, the man who was like a brother to him. Memories flashed of the two training intently together. Two young boys, ready to take on the world. A bond so close it was only natural the two would promise their childrens' hands in marriage, uniting them as true brothers at last. How could anyone murder someone so important to them?
Genma stared intently at his foe. Sensing the hesitation, he stood up, still clutching his arm. Soun stepped back, ready to fire, but the panda did not move forward. Instead, he merely held up a wooden sign.
"Make it quick."
Soun wiped the tears from his eyes. "I'm sorry, my friend. I promise, I'll take good care of your son. I'll never forget you."
The sad man pulled the trigger, firing straight into the head of the man he planned to kill. The mission was a success. The panda fell back, brains blown out. This was the end of Genma Saotome.
The heavy body landed with a thud, sprawled out over the weeds and dirt. Soun approached carefully. He pulled out his handkerchief, first to wipe his tears, then to wipe away any fingerprints from the murder weapon. His mission was finally at an end. "This isn't how I wanted it to be. If only one of us could have died sooner and spared ourselves this cruel fate. Goodbye…Genma."
The killer dropped the cleaned pistol to the ground and proceeded to run. His tears sparkled in the moonlight as he bawled, shrieking down the road at what he had done. Sad piano music filled the air, still cursed with death.
Ranma Saotome munched his breakfast down like a hungry wolf. He was starving. After doing his morning exercises, he shook off a strange chill in the air and returned home to eat with his so-called new family. Of course, he had no intentions of ever marrying any Tendo, much less the completely uncute Akane Tendo.
Still, it was sometimes lonely, waking up without his father around. Genma would often go run errands and forget to come home. Who knew what that old bastard was up to. Probably nothing good. Ranma would never say that he missed his father on mornings like this, but having a sparring partner to wake up to definitely had his uses.
"Oh dear, is Mr. Saotome not here today?" asked Kasumi. "Should I set aside a plate of breakfast for him?"
Soun coughed several times, trying to catch his breath behind his newspaper. "Erm, I'm sure he'll probably grab a bite to eat before returning. You know how he is, always coming and going without warning. A real free spirit, that man is."
"Hmm, alright then." Kasumi resumed her morning chores, none the wiser.
Across the table, Nabiki munched on a piece of toast as she eyed the television. "Hey Ranma, can you turn the volume up?"
"Huh?" Ranma wasn't paying much attention to the morning news. It was never interesting. He reached over to the small television set dial and raised the volume up to max.
"Locals were baffled by the strange sight of a dead panda in Furinkan prefecture," said the news anchor. "No confirmation on whether it had escaped a zoo or belonged to someone nearby."
The table grew still and all eyes turned to the TV. Right on cue, footage of a dead but still familiar panda came up, with a gruesome gunshot wound on its head.
"That's Mr. Saotome!"
"Pop?!"
The residents of the Tendo training hall watched in awe as they heard details of Genma Saotome's untimely death. No one could speak, except of course for the one with the most shock of all.
"Oh, Saotome," weeped Soun. "My dear friend. How could such a tragedy befall you? This cannot be happening."
Kasumi tried her best to comfort her father and place a hand on his shoulder. "Father…"
Soun tossed his newspaper aside. "If any of you need me I'll be mourning in my room. Please do not interrupt or ask any questions."
"Hey, wait-"
Kasumi and Nabiki watched Soun rush out. Akane's eyes were focused purely on Ranma, however. He was still staring in shock on the TV, even after the story ended and they brought out the weather clown with his sun and cloud balloons. Ranma's food remained untouched.
"Ranma…" Akane reached out, about to grab her fiance's arm in support, when all of a sudden-
Knock knock.
Everyone's attention turned to the knock on the front door. Everyone else was concerned over something or other, so Nabiki sighed. "I'll get it."
The remaining family members sat in silence. Ranma eventually shut off the TV, no longer able to tolerate its racket. Akane was at an even deeper loss for words, hoping to find the right thing to say to the poor boy.
Before anyone could speak up, Nabiki returned. "It's the police."
"Huh?"
Everyone looked up as a raggedy foreign man entered the room. He wore a large trenchcoat and was smoking a cigar. Kasumi immediately brought out an ashtray for him to put it out.
"Oh, thank you, miss," he said.
"Is this guy really with the police?" Akane asked.
"Lieutenant Columbo," said the man, pulling out his badge. "I'm with the LAPD in Los Angeles."
"Los Angeles?" Nabiki asked. "You mean America?"
"What brings you out here?" asked Kasumi.
"Oh, me and my wife were enjoying the sights on vacation," Columbo explained. "She'd always wanted to come see Japan, ever since she was little. Used to read those comic books and such. You ever read Sally the Witch? Course, I always keep in touch with local police forces. I heard there was a murder in the area and offered to help out."
"Hold it," said Ranma. "What do you mean murder?"
Columbo's smile grew stern. "That panda in the news. He lived here, didn't he?"
Ranma froze. "Pops was…murdered?"
"I heard from a local doctor. A Mr. Tofu, I believe. Said that panda used to work for him," Columbo continued. "Apparently he lived here. Did you all know him?"
Akane glanced at Ranma's shaking fists. It was one thing to see a bullet wound on the television, but to hear the word "murder" come straight from a detective's mouth was another. It was clear what had happened to Mr. Saotome, and Ranma was seething.
"This is his home, but…it's a bit complicated," said Akane. She figured it would be odd to tell the lieutenant that the panda was this boy's father.
"Here," said Nabiki. "Maybe this will help explain it."
The older sister dumped a bucket of water onto Ranma, drenching him completely. Ranma, now a girl, continued clutching his fists in anger, completely oblivious to what was happening around him.
"I see," Columbo hummed. "Nyannichuan, I believe. One of them cursed springs. You mean to tell me that panda wasn't just an ordinary panda?"
"Oh he was definitely no ordinary panda," Ranma finally spoke. "That old man was my father, and if you're telling me someone shot him to death then I'm definitely gonna find whoever did this. I'll kill the bastard myself!"
"Ranma! The police are right here!" shouted Akane.
Off to the side, Soun poked his head into the room. As soon as he saw Columbo turn in his direction, he slipped back toward his room. He was a nervous wreck, but thankfully no one saw him.
Columbo listened patiently as Ranma and Akane argued with each other. He understood the boy's anger, as well as a potential source for information. "If you don't mind, I just wanted to ask you kids a few questions and I'll get out of your hair."
Ranma walked along the fence on the way to school. He was practically stomping, but otherwise calm and silent. Akane couldn't help but worry. She watched him marching on. Speaking with the police seemed to have calmed him down somewhat, but it didn't seem like there was much to do but wait for the investigation to bear fruit. There was no way Ranma would sit still during that, though.
"Ranma," Akane spoke out. "If you need someone to talk to- I mean…if you're going through a hard time. You can take a day off school, you know."
"I'll be fine," said Ranma. "I don't need you babysitting me."
"I'm not trying to-" Akane froze. "I'm just worried, is all. Losing your father can't be easy."
"Worried? About little old me? Ahh, don't sweat it. All I gotta do is just wait for that old cop guy to give me a name, and then I'll take care of things myself."
"You're not seriously thinking about searching for your father's killer, are you?"
Ranma smirked and hopped down. "I'm telling you, you don't gotta worry. So you can quit the scared fiancee act. It's totally uncute you know. Just leave the worrying to me."
Akane growled. "Well excuse me for being uncute! Don't come crying to me when you get yourself involved in anything crazy."
Ranma watched Akane storm off in a huff. This was the usual routine, though this time she only took a few steps before softening her stance. Even his rudeness wasn't enough to chase her off this time. Akane glanced back with a gentle expression.
"Just promise you won't get yourself hurt, okay?" Akane turned away and ran, leaving Ranma alone.
A frustrated Ranma kicked the dirt in front of him. He was still processing everything from this morning. The same old man who made his life a living hell since he was born was now dead. As awful a parent as he was, Ranma never once wanted him dead. It would take someone with no heart to do the deed.
"If I get my hands on who did this…" he whispered to himself.
"Take it easy, kid," cried a voice behind Ranma.
The boy turned around rapidly, fists ready. If someone came after his father, there was a non-zero chance that he was next, after all. Instead of a murderer, however, all Ranma saw was the lieutenant from before.
"Hey it's you," said Ranma. "Whadya want? I answered all your questions already."
"Well I just remembered something important," Columbo answered. "Don't mind me, I just wanted to make sure I had my bases covered. Are you sure your father didn't have any enemies?"
Ranma smirked. He turned to face the fence beside him and stared at the river in the distance. He could see other students walking to school, past the merchants on the road. It was just an ordinary day for them. "If you want a man who pissed off everyone who's ever met him, then that's Pops for you," Ranma said. "Wouldn't surprise me if someone finally went and offed him."
"So you think it could be someone from his past?" asked Columbo.
Ranma grasped the fence and clutched in anger again. "Rrrgh, how should I know?!" he yelled with clenched teeth. "You're the detective around here. So hurry up and find out who did it so I can get my revenge!"
Columbo pulled out a cigar, lighting it up as the wind blew his curly hair. The old foreign man inhaled a deep puff of the cigar before breathing out the smoke. He was eyeing the boy up and down. "You know, it ain't smart admitting to a cop that you wanna kill somebody."
"Like I care! I'll gladly spend the rest of my life in prison if it means the killer gets what's coming to him!"
"From what you told me, your father's a martial arts expert," said Columbo. "Are you sure you can even take on whoever killed him?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ranma scowled.
"Just saying, kid," Columbo said softly. "You still got the rest of your family to take care of. How about that fiancee of yours? Who'll look after her if you get yourself locked up? Someone's gotta be the man of the house, even if he's not a man half the time."
"You think I can't handle this?" Ranma yelled. "I don't care what happens to Akane or anyone else at that crummy old house. I never even wanted to get engaged to an uncute girl like her, anyway. She can take care of herself!"
Columbo chuckled. "Of course, this is all assuming you don't get yourself killed, first. Do you really think you have what it takes to kill the man that killed your father?"
"Just watch me!" shouted Ranma. He charged forward at the old lieutenant, ready to strike. No one would dare challenge his readiness if he could merely prove his strength.
His swift fist swung, only to hit thin air. Ranma, confused, swung again, only to feel more empty space as his hands failed to make any contact. He looked at Columbo, who had barely moved. There was no way an old man like him managed to dodge his attacks, could he?
Ranma swung left and right, but Lt. Columbo merely ducked and weaved out of the way every time. The angry boy swung wilder and harder, using his signature punching techniques, but failed to land a single strike.
"Hold still, you old fart!"
"Take it from me, kid, I've seen a lot of killers in my time," Columbo lectured. "It takes a lot more than skills to kill a man. And you definitely don't have the heart for it."
"Says who?" shouted Ranma. "I'll kill anyone who gets in my way, got that?!"
Ranma readied a strong blow with his right fist. He ducked and readied himself to try and catch the old man off guard, but to his shock, Columbo managed to duck even lower, lying flat on the ground. Before Ranma could react, the lieutenant's foot launched upward, slamming against Ranma's chest and launching him upwards.
"Aughhh!" With a loud thud, Ranma slammed into the ground. Now he was really getting angry. "How'd an old cop like you learn to fight like that? You covered in grease or something?"
Columbo puffed at his cigar. "I ain't your ordinary officer, young man. I trained under some of the best detectives around back in the states. You think things are bad now? Imagine growing up in the golden age of organized crime."
"Organized crime?" Ranma asked.
"That's right. Some of the most rotten mafia bosses around roamed the cities of America back in the day. Lost Angeles. Chicago. New York. No city was safe with all those criminal masterminds running the place. It took the best of the best to take them down."
Ranma dug his feet into the ground, ready for round two. "Yeah, well, I'm not scared of no mafia. 'Sides, not like you were around back then either."
"You're right, kid," Columbo continued. "I'd count myself lucky to be half as strong as the detectives I trained under. They didn't settle for mafia bosses in America, you know. Some of them went around the world, fighting crime lords you wouldn't imagine. The kingpins of Italy. Chinese triads. Even the yakuza here in Japan. They fought them all and managed to perfect the ultimate crime fighting martial arts style."
"Well if you're so good, then why ain't you out there solving this murder?!" Ranma yelled. "If you put in as much effort looking for clues as you do picking fights then maybe you'd have caught the killer by now!"
"I'm just making sure this case doesn't end with two dead bodies instead of one, kid," said Columbo. "I don't want you getting riled up and taking on fights you can't finish, or you'll end up like your old man."
"Don't worry about me, cause I plan on finishing all my fights!"
Ranma charged forward again. He'd seen this Columbo dodge, but that kick merely caught him off guard. As long as he played smart, he could avoid the lieutenant's strikes and land a punch hard enough to knock him out. That ought to prove he's not messing around.
The two fighters zeroed in on each other. Ranma swiped from the left, but Columbo dodged. Ranma then readied to dodge another kick, but something was wrong. The leiutenant didn't attempt to fight back. Instead, the old man's mouth swung agape, sending the cigar in his mouth flying toward Ranma. The burnt end swung in the air, spinning directly into Ranma's cheek. The tip burst, sizzling against Ranma's skin the moment it connected.
"Ahhhh! Hot hot hot!"
Ranma screamed and ran around in circles, clutching his cheek. Desperate for relief, he jumped over the fence and into the river, soothing his poor face. Girl Ranma poked out, clutching his face and rubbing the burn mark.
"What the hell is your problem! That's cheating!"
"Killers don't play fair, kid," Columbo explained. From behind the fence he readied his finger, curved into a gun shape and pointed straight at Ranma. "Bang."
Ranma glanced around him. He was on the shallow end of the river, but the water was still deep enough to slow him down. There was no way Ranma could dodge a bullet with so much water everywhere. A killer would've had him right then and there.
The soaked girl pouted. "Yeah, well, I wouldn't have gone easy on you if you had a gun, you know."
Ranma pulled himself out and shook himself dry. Columbo merely stared solemnly. He stomped his foot on the cigar that went flying when it bounced off of Ranma, putting it out. "You still think you can take on a killer?" he asked.
"No doubt," said Ranma. "If I catch that killer, I'll go after him with all my strength."
Columbo began walking along the road once more. "It ain't about physical strength, kid. Killing someone takes something more. You need the guts to pull the trigger. Especially if it's someone you know."
Ranma raised an eyebrow. He hopped over the fence and followed after Columbo. "What do you mean someone I know? You think the killer knew my father?"
The lieutenant raised a finger and poked his own forehead. "Bullet hit him smack dab in his brains. Killed him in an instant. Now I've seen some deaths in my time, and I can confirm it'd take a real skilled assassin to land a shot that clean without being seen."
"Without being seen?" Ranma rubbed his chin "So was it some highly trained assassin? How'd Pops manage to get one of those sicced on him?"
"It's possible, kid," said Columbo, who was lighting another cigar to replace the one he had tossed. "But I don't think that's what happened. There were burn marks on the body when we found it. Those only happen when the gun's up close. So tell me, how'd someone standing directly in front of your father within arm's reach manage to line up a shot like that without being spotted?"
"I'm…not sure?" questioned Ranma.
"The most likely answer is he didn't," Columbo explained. "Which means this criminal was at point blank range, gun armed and ready to fire, but his target didn't flee. He stared the killer right in the eyes long enough for the shot to line up and take him out instantly."
Ranma paused. "Why would…why would he just stand there and let someone shoot him?"
"What if it was someone your old man knew, kid? Imagine yourself in his shoes. If someone you cared about had a gun pointed at you, what would you do?"
Ranma stared off into the distance. For some reason, Akane's face flashed before his eyes. He shook his head. He didn't wanna think of her that way. Sure, plenty of people had tried to kill Ranma before, but not like this. He couldn't imagine anyone catching him off guard with a gun like that. It would leave him speechless.
"I think maybe you're overthinking it," he said. "You said it yourself. It takes a well trained assassin to pull off a shot like that. Knowing my old man, he was probably shaking in his boots seeing someone that strong. Maybe he was just too scared to run."
A firm finger poked Ranma's girlish hip. He instinctively pulled away and slapped the old officer trying to fondle him.
"Hey! Back off!"
"Just wanted to confirm something," said Columbo, who attempted to rub his sore cheek nonchalantly. "Sorry about that. You know, that cursed spring really did a number on you, didn't it?"
"You're telling me," said Ranma. "I get so much as a tiny splash of water on me and I turn into a girl. Can you believe that? I'm a guy and I get stuck with a body like this, having to deal with creepy old guys like you. Hands off, got it?"
"Your father was the same though, correct? That's how he became a panda?"
"Hmm?" pondered Ranma. "That's right. He turns into a panda when he's wet."
Columbo let go of his cheek and winked. "So why would a killer want to shoot a panda instead of a man?"
Ranma stared in confusion. He was losing the plot. "I mean…I guess pandas are bigger and slower. He'd be easier to shoot?"
"We found traces of mud on your father's panda feet," Columbo explained. "And the ground near him was a little more damp than the rest of the lot. Course, it hasn't rained here in weeks. So where'd the water come from?"
"So you think the killer splashed him with water?" asked Ranma.
"That's right," said Columbo. "The killer must've known about those cursed springs. So I ask you again, put yourself in your father's shoes. If your body turns into a girl's when you're wet, how many people would know to use that against you? To be honest, before I touched you, I'd have assumed you were wearing some kinda disguise. And if you turned into a panda? That'd be even harder for a killer to wrap his head around. No, the culprit knew about the transformation and used that as a weakness to exploit. It had to be someone that knew your father well."
Ranma could no longer move his feet. So many faces raced through his mind, but not nearly enough to leave him feeling assured. Sure, many people saw his father roaming around town as a panda, but how many recognized who he was specifically? Or knew about the transformation being water based. It could only be someone from a small pool of people, none of which were people Ranma could accept as killers.
After a brief pause, Ranma glanced around, unable to find the lieutenant. "Hey, where'd you go?"
"Good luck, kid," cried Columbo. He was making his way up a different road. "I've got more work to do. Just promise to stay out of trouble until I catch the culprit. Got that?"
Ranma stared off into the distance, at the old cop leaving him behind. Ranma felt even more uneasy than he did this morning. Losing his father was one thing, but he was now afraid of losing even more. He merely stared at the ground and furrowed his eyebrows, feeling hopelessly uncertain.
Suddenly, an eyecatch comes as the story cuts to commercial break, depicting Ranma being chased by Akane. He dodges a blow, only to land accidentally on top of P-chan. They all react humorously.
After a quick eyecatch of Ranma getting splashed with water, the story returns.
Soun popped out of hiding. His heart was racing all morning. When the police were asking questions earlier, they had asked if there was anyone else in the house. Thankfully, Soun's acting skills paid off and he pretended to be too grief struck to come out and answer anything.
But that wouldn't work forever. If only he could have found another way to defeat Genma in combat without resorting to weapons. There was no way he could win in a direct fight, but the way things went, it was far too obviously a case of murder.
"How can I keep everyone from learning the truth?" Soun asked himself.
"You really are hopeless," said the voice of a small old man.
"M-master!" cried Soun.
Happosai was waiting in the halls for his pupil to step outside, fiddling with his pipe. He had a cold look in his eye, ready to strike. Soun was worried about this. Of all the reactions, he feared his master's judgement the most. Who else could be more disappointed in him killing his best friend, and the Master's second best pupil?
"Looks like you finally went and did it," said the old man. His eyes glistened. "Nice job, sonny!"
"Huh?" Soun was left flabbergasted.
"Here I was worrying you two forgot about your promise all those years ago," said Happosai. "If you hadn't done the right thing, I'd have been forced to kill you both. Ahahaha, glad we only lost one of you, I suppose."
"B-but, Master, I killed my one and only true friend. He and I were like sons to you. Aren't you heartbroken to see your own pupils turn on each other?"
Happosai slapped Soun upside the head with his pipe. "Of course I ain't happy to see this!" he shouted, perhaps too loudly for a secret conversation. "We never would've gotten into this mess if you two boys hadn't angered the spirits. I don't like the situation any more than you do, but it had to be done. Now it's time you commit to it, boy."
"What do you mean, Master?" said Soun. "I finished the job and appeased the spirits, just like you wanted."
The elderly man glanced around, suspiciously. "You're too careless, Tendo," he said solemnly. "The job isn't over till you make sure everything's taken care of. What are you gonna do about the police investigation? Or worse yet, what if the young'uns find out?"
Soun winced. "I've no doubt Ranma would kill me if he ever found out. The girls aren't likely to go easy on me either."
"Then there's the dojo," Happosai said. "If you got arrested, everything would go to those kids. And as strong as they are, they're not ready to inherit the martial arts school."
"But Master," Soun sighed, "surely Ranma and Akane would make excellent owners of the dojo. They've been preparing for quite some ti-ACK!"
A mallet out of nowhere smacked Soun right in the face. Happosai didn't like being interrupted. "Like I was saying," he continued, "those kids aren't ready. That Ranma boy's come a long way, but he's not even close to finishing his training. That boy is full of potential he ain't even reached half of. Same with Akane. That girl's got some real growing left to do. Just think, E cup. F cup. Maybe even an H cup! An all grown up Akane dancing around her very own dojo. We've still got a long way to go before we get to that future!"
Soun moved the mallet away from his face, just barely too frightened to tell off his master for leering at his daughters. But there were more pressing issues. "I'll run the dojo as long as I can, Master. But how will I deal with the police? They're already asking questions."
"You'll have to figure that out on your own," said Happosai. "This'll be your final test."
The younger man nodded. He had come this far. He couldn't let Genma's sacrifice go to waste.
"Yeah, and besides, Dad, you've got me helping you out, at least," said the voice of Nabiki.
"Yes, of course," Soun said, nodding along further. It took him a second to realise he and his master had company. "Wait…"
"If you want to keep the cops out of your hair, Dad, I can pitch in," said Nabiki. "Of course, it'll cost you 5000 yen."
Soun and Happosai stared at the middle Tendo daughter a moment before sighing. At least she wouldn't sell them out.
"If I give you 6000 will you also make sure Ranma and your sisters don't find out?" Soun asked.
"You have a deal."
Ranma was watching the horizon, deep in thought. Everything he had heard from Lt. Columbo was on repeat in his mind. The killer had to be someone his father recognized. The killer knew about his transformation. What could all this mean?
"Ranma," spoke Akane. She had snuck up behind Ranma carefully, concerned for his well being. Ranma tried his best not to look at her, which prompted more worried thoughts out of her. "Ranma, why don't we go for a walk and take your mind off things? School's out, but we don't have to go home right away."
"I ain't going home either way, Akane," said Ranma. "I still have work to do. The killer's out there."
Akane sighed. She didn't question Ranma. For once, she understood him completely. It couldn't be easy going through something like losing a father to a heartless killer. Except it wasn't a heartless killer, was it? It was likely someone waiting for Ranma at home. Or worse yet…
"Akane…" Ranma spoke up. "If you had to kill me, how would you do it?"
"Huh? What kind of question is that? I know we don't always get along, but I'd never want to kill you, Ranma."
"I mean it," Ranma pressed on. "Say you had to make sure I was dead. What would you do?"
"This is ridiculous, Ranma," said Akane. "I mean, for one thing, I'd have a harder time going up against Boy Ranma. I doubt I'd be able to kill you even if I wanted."
"That's right!" Ranma shouted. "You couldn't kill me so easily. You'd have to turn me into a girl, right? I'm not as strong in that form, so you'd know how to weaken me!"
Akane touched Ranma's forehead. "Ranma, you should maybe get some rest. I think the stress is getting to you."
"Rrrgh, you don't understand! I'm saying the easiest way to kill me is to use my weakness. And you know it. You know everything about me, don't you? The only one capable of killing me is you, Akane!"
Whispers from nearby students heading home caught Akane's attention. She was glancing around nervously. "Ranma, I think you should keep your voice down. You're not making any sense."
Ranma shook his fist. "Someone my old man trusted more than anyone. That's the only one who could've gotten close enough to shoot him like that. I've got no choice but to kill him."
"Huh? What are you talking about, Ranma?"
"I said I'll kill him! I'm coming for you, you murderer! Just you wait!"
Ranma rushed forward, leaving Akane behind in a trail of dust. She coughed, completely confused as to what just happened. Ranma seemed to be doing even worse than she thought. He needed her. And so she ran after him.
The dust clouds flared up the streets as Ranma ran home. His eyes were blinded with rage and nothing could stop him.
"Ranma!" shouted a voice. "He went that way!"
"Huh?"
Nabiki was hiding behind a vending machine, pointing down a street. "I saw him, Ranma. It's the killer!" she cried.
"He went that way?" asked Ranma. "Thanks, Nabiki. Now I'll show him. Just you wait, killer!"
As Ranma ran off in the opposite direction of home, Nabiki watched his rapid dust cloud trail dissipate behind him. "That boy's too easy, sometimes," she said to herself.
"Nabiki!" Akane ran up to her sister, completely out of breath. "Have you seen Ranma?"
Nabiki pointed in the direction of loud crashing noise, followed by angry Ranma shouts. Akane ran after him. Neither were going home anytime soon.
Out in the streets, Ranma was tearing down signs and benches everywhere. People were staring at the wild boy running rampant. "Where'd you go?!" he shouted.
"Ranma, over there!" cried Nabiki, pointing once again in the wrong direction. Ranma went charging.
"Ranma," she cried, minutes later. "I saw him heading toward the park!"
"Ranma, this time you've got him."
"Ranma."
"Ranma."
"Hey Ranma, that way!"
"Godamnit!" shouted Ranma. "How is he so fast?"
"How is who so fast?" asked Akane, who had finally caught up.
"My old man's killer!" explained Ranma. "It's that old pervert. His own master!"
"Huh? Happosai?"
"You think the old man killed him?" asked Nabiki.
"Well yeah," said Ranma. "Isn't that who we've been following?"
"I never said anyone's name," Nabiki explained. "I honestly had no clue who we were supposed to be following."
Ranma crashed to the ground in frustration.
"Wait, hold on, why Happosai?" asked Akane.
"I talked to that lieutenant guy earlier. Columbo," Ranma explained. "The killer is definitely someone my Pops knew. And he let them kill him, too. It had to have been a duel."
"A duel?"
"There's no other reason my old man would just calmly let someone shoot him. He went down honorably, against someone who defeated him in battle. Someone he had no chance of beating. And someone he'd trust with his life. It had to be that old pervert! Who else could it have been?"
Akane held her hands to her mouth in complete shock. "But, Happosai wouldn't kill someone, would he?"
"He most certainly could," said Nabiki. "And I think I saw him hanging around downtown, too. You better go after him, Ranma."
"Alright! Let's go, Akane!"
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that, kid," said another voice sneaking up on the trio.
Columbo had returned, fresh off the case. He had actually found the kids earlier, but figured he'd wait and see these events fold out. It was awfully suspicious that one of the prime suspect's daughters was fooling around with the victim's son. Just where was this wild goose chase taking him? It didn't take long for things to become clear.
"I think it's time we checked out your home, again," Columbo explained.
"But the killer's downtown!" cried Ranma. "Didn't you hear Nabiki?"
"And just how would she know that?"
Nabiki nervously looked to the side. "Oh, me? Call it a hunch, hahaha. Well, I should get going. Scuse me!"
"Hey, Nabiki!" cried Akane.
The old lieutenant stood in the middle of the road, his hair flowing in the breeze. He'd catch his killer soon, at this rate.
"Whadya say we stop a murderer, you two?"
Soun's hands shook as he lifted his tea cup. He could barely hold the liquid still enough to drink any of it. What would he do if more people learned of his secret? What if Ranma was truly willing to kill him out of revenge? Who would look after his dojo then? Or his family?
"Poor father," said Kasumi. "You've taken the news of Mr. Saotome's death really hard, haven't you?"
"Th-that's right," said Soun. "He was like family to me. A tragic loss for all of us."
Nabiki poked her head in the dining room. "Hey dad, the cops are coming. Better hide."
"What?!" Soun panicked. He needed a plan. He couldn't hide from the police forever, after all. "Looks like I'll have to go to China."
"China?" asked Kasumi.
"Yes. Perhaps the cursed springs will do me some good. Maybe I can turn into a bird and fly away. Or an innocent little squirrel. Yes. Then I'll be truly free. Hah hah hah. The perfect plan!"
Happosai hopped into the room to slam his student smack dab in the face. "That's a terrible plan, you amateur!"
The door to the living room flew open once more. Everyone's eyes turned to Ranma, followed closely by Akane and Lieutenant Columbo. "I've got you now," the boy hissed.
"R-Ranma, my boy," said Soun. "You have to believe me. This isn't how I wanted it to go."
"Can it!" shouted Ranma. "I'm here for the old man. He's the one that killed Pops!"
Soun felt a strange sensation upon hearing these words. "You mean…the Master?"
Happosai felt all eyes turn toward him. Kasumi gasped. Nabiki poked her head in to snap some photos for the newspapers. Akane merely watched in horror as she realised there was a killer in her own home.
"N-now just wait a minute. I ain't a killer," said Happosai. "It was this fool right here!"
"How could you, Master?" cried Soun. "Turning against your own disciple, after murdering another in cold blood. I never thought you'd have it in you."
"Don't you pin this on me!"
"Trying to get away with murder by pinning it on your own student, I see," said Ranma. "You oughta be ashamed of yourself!"
"That's right, Ranma. You show him!" cheered Soun.
"He's lying to you, boy! Don't listen to him!"
"Gimme one good reason why I should listen to you!"
Columbo stepped forth. He was kindly offered a cup of tea by Kasumi, which he took with pleasure. He sipped quietly as the men of the household bickered among themselves. It was quite delicious. Of course, he still had a job to do.
"It wasn't the old man," he spoke.
Everyone in the room went quiet. Columbo chuckled. This was the part where the detective dramatically revealed the truth. It was a shame he never was one for dramatics. His wife would often ask him why he couldn't be more like those detectives in the mangas she read. It simply wasn't his style.
"I'm sure I don't have to explain everything to you folks here," said the lieutenant. "Most of you have already figured it out after all. The killer is someone who knew Genma Saotome's secret transformation. Not a lot of folks are familiar with the cursed springs of Jusenkyo. Which means the killer is likely in this room right now."
Kasumi gasped once more. "You don't seriously think one of us is the killer, do you?"
"Yes," Columbo nodded. "But it's someone specific. Someone the victim trusted. But also someone who couldn't best him in combat."
Ranma thought for a second. "Hey wait, you're right. If it was the old pervert, he wouldn't have needed a gun in the first place."
"You're darn right," said Happosai. "I wouldn't need a weapon to kill someone. I do it with my bare hands. Erm, not that I've ever killed someone, officer."
Columbo pointed at Ranma. "I think we can rule out the boy here, too. He'd try and win the duel with his fists as well. Which leaves us with one major suspect. Mr. Tendo, where were you last night, from 20:00 to 22:00?"
"I, erm, I was right here, sleeping," Soun coughed. "I'm getting up there with age, and you know what they say. Early to bed early to rise. A-and even if I didn't have an alibi, you can't prove anything! It could've just as easily been one of the girls, you see."
"What?"
"Dad, how could you?"
"Father, I would never!"
"Er, yes, I-I agree," the panicking father stuttered. "I wouldn't suspect any of my daughters either. But since there's no way of proving anyone did it, I suppose we'll just have to drop the case."
Columbo reached into his deep pockets. He seemed to have lost something, but soon found it. From his flowing coat he pulled out a pistol. Ignoring the gasps, he placed the pistol in Kasumi's hands. "Would you mind holding this? Don't worry, it's not loaded."
Everyone stared in confusion. Columbo traced the gun in Kasumi's hands toward the wall in front of her. He made a finger gun motion and mimicked firing it. Everyone followed his gestures to the empty spot on the wall.
"Alright, now onto the next sister."
Nabiki grabbed the gun, seemingly aware of what the lieutenant was doing. She grabbed the gun and dramatically twirled it in her hands, aiming directly at the wall in front of her. She made a gunshot noise with her mouth before handing the gun to Akane.
The youngest Tendo daughter was nervous. She had never held a gun before, but she wasn't about to question the police. She also pointed at the wall and pretended to fire. Afterward she held out the gun toward Columbo.
"D-don't forget Ranma!" said Soun. "He may be tough, but if he were in girl form, he might have a hard time fighting against his father."
Soun dumped water onto Ranma, transforming him into a girl. Ranma shouted. "Hey!"
"Go on, kid," said Columbo. "It's his funeral."
Ranma grumbled. He was still certain the killer was in this room. He held the gun, which felt a lot heavier in his girly hands than he expected. Nonetheless, he pointed the gun and "fired". "There. You happy now?"
"What's this all about, lieutenant?" asked Kasumi.
Columbo walked up to the wall and began pointing at the spots all the girls had pointed at. Directly in front of them. One after the other. "Tell me, ladies, how tall is a panda?"
The entire household all tried to picture the panda they had been eating breakfast with for several months now. An image of him displayed perfectly in their heads, next to the spots Columbo had highlighted with his finger. The large panda towered above them all.
"The bullet that entered the panda's head went straight through, in the middle of the forehead and out the back. That tells us the killer was on the tall side. Everyone else here is much shorter than a panda would be. If they fired the gun, the bullet would've gone out near the top of his head rather than going straight through."
Girl Ranma shook with anticipation. "You don't mean…"
"You wanted proof, and there you have it," said Columbo. "Soun Tendo, you're the only suspect tall enough to make the exact injury we found on the body."
"Th…that's preposterous," cried Soun. "How could…why would I…there's no way I…"
Akane looked at her father with disappointment. "Dad, tell me it's not true. You're not a killer, are you?"
Beside her, Ranma's eyes were glowing with rage. Soun was frightened, but he knew his time had come. No escape plan could help him now.
"It…it's true," he said. "Saotome and I made a promise. If we both lived this long, we'd fight each other to the death. Only one of us was allowed to continue living."
"But why?" asked Akane.
"The two boys made a big mistake 20 years ago," explained Happosai. "They killed a shrine maiden by accident while trying to fix a run down stall. The thing was falling apart, and rather than help her, they crushed her and her very soul. Dying within 20 years was the only way to spare this town her cursed wrath!"
"The shrine maiden didn't die," said Columbo.
Everyone turned back to the lieutenant. He was staring blankly, as if he had pointed out something as simple as the colour of the wall.
"Hold on," said Soun. "Did you say…she didn't die?"
"I looked up some incidents in the past around these parts. I learned about two martial artists and their master causing a scene when a poor shrine maiden was in an accident. She survived though. They rushed her to the hospital. Apparently she tried to get in touch with the men who helped her to tell them it wasn't their faults. Poor girl was afraid they'd blame themselves for what happened."
Soun gasped. "Wait a minute. I'm remembering something…"
In Soun's memory, he could clearly remember Master Happosai tossing letters into a fire. "I told you boys, your lives are all about martial arts now," he had said to the younger disciples at the time. "No letters and no women. Not till you're finished with your training. If you see any babes around, just leave 'em to me. Eh heh heh heh."
"So then the letters we received…" Soun was putting his thoughts together. "Those weren't love letters. They were from the shrine maiden."
"Which means you two didn't have to fight in the first place," explained Nabiki.
All eyes once again turned to Happosai. He froze in place and then tried to whistle while poking his fingers together. "Oh, is that what this was all about? Well, I, uh…there's no way I could've known who wrote those letters. I mean…it ain't like I told the boys to kill each other, did I?"
"You told me if we didn't dispel the curse then you'd kill us both," said Soun. "All this time, I feared the possibility of having to take my best friend's life and you could have spared us both that torment. How could you, Master?!"
"N-now wait!" Happosai shouted. "I mean, it was a simple misunderstanding. Anyone could've made the mistake. And in the end I ain't the one that killed him. You're still the one under arrest, here, not me!"
Columbo lit up one of his cigars. Ranma instinctively brushed his cheek, remembering the burns he received earlier. Columbo then pulled out his notes and began reading them aloud. "57 cases of theft carried out by a short, older male. All women's underwear. All within the last two months. Same as the reports that were made back during the shrine maiden incident."
Happosai glanced around the room. "I, uh…that could be anyone. You can't prove anything."
Sensing danger, the old man ran out the door into the backyard. He was making a run for it.
"Hey, get back here!" shouted Ranma.
"You all should be ashamed of yourselves, picking on a helpless old man," cried Happosai. "If that's how you're gonna be, then I'm getting out of here, you big meanies. I ain't getting arrested for crimes I didn't commit!"
The old master hopped around like a flea. He was going to leap out of this place and back to a life of freedom. But unfortunately, he didn't get far. Right as he leapt over the walls, a swift figure leapt past him and kicked him back into the rocks near the pond. Lt. Columbo managed to stop the panty thief from escaping.
"I may not be tough enough to catch Al Capone," said the lieutenant as he landed safely atop the house walls, "but I'm pretty sure my teachers taught me well enough to catch an underwear thief."
Happosai twitched on the ground below. He had met his match.
Ranma Saotome clapped his hands together and bowed. It was a sign of respect to his old mentor, and his only father. The photo of Genma above the shrine in the living room rested proudly, watching over his son and family left behind. Like every other morning, Ranma made sure to show his respects before sitting down for breakfast.
Nabiki entered the room, ready for school. "Hey, everyone. We got a letter from dad. Want me to read it?"
As the other three members of the household sat for breakfast, Nabiki read the letter aloud: "My dearest family, I hope you are all doing well in my absence. I have many years left in my sentence, but I hope when I am let out of prison, a fantastic dojo will await me, run by my beautiful daughter and fierce son-in-law. My Master is keeping me company in here, so please do not worry about me. As always, words cannot convey my regrets for what I have done. I hope Ranma especially can find it in his heart to forgive me. I'm sure his father would be proud, as am I. May the four of you continue to live out the rest of your lives in peace."
"Maybe they'll let him out on good behavior," said Nabiki.
"In the end, the duel was consensual, and all over a misunderstanding, too," said Kasumi. "I'm sure we all wish to put this incident behind us."
Ranma ate his breakfast in silence, as usual. Gone were the days where he'd bicker with his father after training in the morning. Maybe it wasn't entirely Mr. Tendo's fault, but it would be a while before he could quiet down his rage.
Sensing his unease, Akane placed some of her own breakfast onto Ranma's plate. "Here, Ranma. I'm not hungry, but you should keep your strength up."
"Wow, who would've thought living without our parents was all it took to get you two to get along," said Kasumi. "Make sure to be on your best behavior, you two. Me and Kasumi can still hear you at night if you get up to any naughty business."
"Hey!"
"As if I'd do anything like that in this house," said Ranma. "Not with a girl this uncute."
"Excuse me?!"
"I'm just saying," Ranma continued. "I don't need my old man around to stop me from sneaking around, cause I never wanted anything to do with her in the first place."
"Well see if I ever help you again," cried Akane. "And to think I felt bad for your loss. Go mourn on your own next time."
"Well fine, nobody asked for your help anyway!" shouted Ranma at Akane, who was getting up to leave for school. He wolfed down the rest of the breakfast in front of him.
Kasumi smiled. "Those two still have a ways to go, don't they?"
"If they don't get it together by the time we graduate, I'm selling the dojo," said Nabiki.
In the quiet neighbourhood where the Tendo training hall waited, the silence was soon broken by a very loud bickering couple, making their way to school as usual. Some things would never change.