Ed, Edd, n' Eddy; The Last Chance
Part One - Autumn Blues
CHAPTER ONE - Fall In Line
Eddward 'Double D'
OCTOBER
The hill overlooking the forest was breathtaking as always, a lone oak tree standing valiantly at the top. Yellows and oranges and reds crisscrossed in patterns like the shapes of a hand-quilted blanket of autumn. Though the mid-season chill had swept in the week before, a pleasant warmth still permeated the forest. Insects chirped loudly, spurred on by the newly risen moon and warm weather.
Summer is over, actually it's been over for a while now, and school has started once again for the kids of the cul-de-sac. For many of them it was senior year, high-school would be coming to a close in just a short seven months and emotions were mixed. Some were excited, ready to face the world beyond and move on far away from the cozy suburb of Peach Creek. Others were, understandably, nervous at the prospects of the changes that were sure to come in the coming months.
One of the latter, Eddward or more commonly - Double D, made his way up the hill panting the whole way. In his wobbly hands: a heavy iron-wrought shopping cart, complete with decades-old rust and rotting red paint. Behind him trailed the sweat-soaked form of Eddy, grunting ridiculously from the strain of carrying a large gray-colored stone. Lastly came Ed, further than the other two and only about half-way up the hill, hands filled with a cardboard box. Atop the box was a comic book, stretched out to a particularly colorful set of monster-induced drama.
At the crest of the hill, Double D wheezed, arms trembling from the immense effort of the climb. With a final - dramatic breath, he collapsed to the ground, both arms stretching out into the cool autumn grass. He felt as if he had just run a marathon backwards with a building strapped to his back and his lungs seemed keen to believe that.
Eddy grunted, stepping over one of Double D's outstretched arms wobbly before dumping his rock out onto the ground with a faint thud. Hands on his hips he too wheezed in exhaustion before leaning down to spit onto the grass.
"Whose idea was this anyway?" Eddy asked between breaths.
Double D scoffed, lifting his head from the grass, "yours, Eddy."
Eddy frowned, shaking his head before turning back to the only Ed still not at the top of the hill. Ed, who had the smallest load for some reason, lagged behind - eyes transfixed on the comic he was now trying to turn the pages of with his tongue.
"Come on, lumpy, we don't have all night!" Eddy called back, startling Ed from his amusing display.
"Aye aye, Eddy!" Ed called back. With newly created motivation he made quick work of the hill in a few long strides and no worse for wear at that. "Reporting for duty, Eddy - sir!" He bellowed, a wide grin stretched across his dopey features.
Eddy rolled his eyes, before looking down at Double D with his trademark scowl.
"Do me a favor sock head," he said pointing a finger over the crest of the hill. "Look for a smoke trail, would ya?"
Double D sat up, cocking his head to one side - eyes raised into a questioning look. Eddy doesn't look back, instead he moves to take the box from Ed who has once again become transfixed by his comic book. Double D sighed, resigning himself to whatever hair-brained scheme Eddy has cooked up this time. With a little wobble and more than a little groaning he dusted himself off and moved to sit at the very edge of the hill. The night was quiet, save for a few nearby crickets and the wind was cool and pleasant. It danced around the edge of his beanie and slipped about the hill with a small whining whistle before descending down.
Double D felt his mind wander, breathlessly taken by the beauty of the autumn landscape before him. The sharp rush of passed memories whizz around his head, each one denoted by some event or different feeling. Time felt different at this age, like everything moved way too fast and with not enough in between. High-school was no different - quiet, filled with friendly but not entirely memorable interactions with peers of the same age. Despite that, however, a pang of anxiety swept over his mind. Graduation was soon and though the Eds had been mostly forgiven for their earlier escapades over the years, a thinly veiled contempt still hung over them like a shroud. Four years had come and gone since the last scam (if you don't count the others) and the end of their time here was coming. Adulthood, college, the workforce - all with their unknowns and bottled up into the great uncertainty that welled in Double D's heart.
Idly he patted the thin layer of dirt off his indigo-colored shorts and calf-high socks, reminiscing to pass the monotony. Then he spotted it, a thin arc of pale-gray smoke shifting up from the tree line and into the sky above. Without a thought he reached into his bag and retrieved his hand-made sextant, placing the viewport to his eye. The distance was pretty far, about 600 or so feet from the hill - lowland and beneath the tree line in a small clearing. The small glow of a fire branched out onto the leaves of the trees around it, coating the darkened area with cascades of yellow and orange.
"Uh oh," Eddy's voice broke his concentration. "Brainiac pulled out his sex-er again." The sound of snickering broke the peace of the environment and Double D sighed.
"A sextant, Eddy," he said coolly.
Eddy chortled a bit, "Of course, sockhead."
Double D frowned but pushed the subject no further, opting instead to replace the sextant back into his bag and stand up.
Gotta check for ticks after this.
"Alright Double D, surprise is all ready," Eddy hollered up the hill.
Surprise?
Double D spun around to see the anguished frame of the shopping cart once again, only now it's covered in decorations. Multi-colored streamers hang down from knotted loops between links of metal, balloons draped limply from the handle bars. A wood sign, clearly the piece de resistance of the decoration, hung crookedly at the front of the cart and slathered in off-kilter handwriting. It read 'Sockhead's Birthday Rocket v.9000'.
"Pretty sweet, huh?" Eddy smiled, obviously proud of himself.
Double D couldn't control it anymore and burst into laughter. It's ridiculous!
It's also the nicest thing Eddy's ever done for me. Also…I'm 18 now, huh?
Eddy crossed his arms in defiance and scoffed, "Geez, watch me do something nice for you again."
Double D waved his hand over his head, the other gripping his abdomen as he laughed. "N-no! Eddy, it's great!" Then he wiped the tears forming in the corners of his eyes and stood up straight, still smiling. "It's perfect, thank you," he said.
Eddy rolled his eyes, "Well bozo, fun's just getting started." He smiled wide and mischievously, "Get in."
Double D stopped smiling, eyes wide with fear.
"What?"
It hadn't taken much to corral young Double D into the shopping cart after Ed had been told to 'put the birthday boy in the cart'. So here he sat, hands gripping the sides of the cart for dear life as it slowly moved up the hill.
Add one - no TWO tetanus shots to the tick check.
His grip tightened when the cart made a strange groaning noise and sweat poured from his face in puddles of anxiety.
If I even get back alive.
At the front of the cart, Eddy - mouth a wide grin, overlooked the top of the hill from his kneeled position. To the back, the only one not in the cart - Ed, was pushing the cart with little effort up a nearly 45-degree angle with his tongue hung out like a dog's. Bonk! The cart went as it made contact with something large and heavy towards the rear, halting their forward progress. From this angle, that is to say low and fearful, Double D could see just how steep the top of the hill was and also just how close they were to falling off it.
Eddy turned, kind of slipped his knees under himself to stand up, facing the group and posed dramatically. Snap! Another noise rang across the cart making Double D just about pass out from stress. Eddy cleared his throat, dramatically as always, and raised his fist into the air.
"Eds!" He shouted with a grin, "for too long we have been the laughing stock of the cul-de-sac!" He shifted about here, moving his foot off a looser patch of metallic meshing and to one more solid.
"I say: no more!"
A cheer escaped from Ed's mouth loudly, mimicking Eddy's fist-in-the-air pose.
Eddy cleared his throat again, "Tonight we undergo: Project Party Crasher and become legends and finally earn us the respect of the cul-de-sac for good!"
"Uhm, Eddy?" Double D piped up, having finally found his voice. "If we take it upon ourselves to…erm crash this party won't they dislike us more?"
Eddy smiled, closing his eyes and pointing his index finger straight up into the sky. "I'm glad you ask my socially inert friend," he boasted loudly. "The answer is that: it doesn't matter! If we create our own niche amongst the popular kids we will, by definition, be able to cast out the people who don't like us."
"Those were some big words, Eddy," Double D said sarcastically.
Eddy groaned, slapping his face with his own palm, "just trust me on this, sadhead, you're always so negative."
Double D went to protest, but Eddy cut him off.
"The Birthday Rocket 9000 is ready to go! Ed if you would, we have a party to crash," Eddy finished, turning to face the front. This was Double D's chance, he could jump out while everyone is distracted and make a run for the cul-
"Start your engines!" Ed yelled.
Too late.
With a lurch Ed pulled the rock keeping the cart from rolling down the hill in one swift motion. Leaping quickly onto the cart, feet resting on the rear rack and arms stretched over the front, the sudden weight change forcing the cart forward.
So much for graduating.
In a flash the cart was rolling down the hill and going fast. Double D let out a scream as the speed picked up, flinging him back into the cart. Ed on the other hand was cheering, tongue wagging out, with his arms hooked around the handles like a deranged bob-sled racer. Eddy in the front leaned out, pointing out like the captain of his very own Spanish frigate.
Wind whipped Double D's face as they careened downwards towards the tree line at what could only be described as a freefall down the hill face. A tree came into view, small at first but with a worryingly fast approach, growing closer and closer.
"Eddy!" Double D shouted.
"Ed! Course correct, left!" Eddy yelled back, eyes never leaving the tree-line. He was the captain and Double D was his very unagreeable cargo.
Ed saluted, leaning hard to his left - forcing the great war vessel to the side. With a shk, the right side wheels came off the ground entirely creating a sideways shift in the center of balance. Double D slid to the left, narrowly avoiding coming right out of the shopping cart and onto the ground.
"Oh dear!" Double D hollered, straining to keep himself in the cart. Whoosh! The cart cleared the oak tree, barely, and continued its unrestrained descent towards the forest. Finally clear of any immediate obstacles, Ed leaned off the left side, back to center and onto the ground, crack. Trees flew by at an even greater speed than before, trees coming in quick, like a great wall of tired orange and soft red.
"Brace!" Eddy commanded, leaning down into the cart.
Without warning the cart dropped sharply off an embankment and onto a dirt trail with a heavy splash of wet dirt and mud. Double D could feel his shorts and socks become thick with large clumps of earth and shivered.
"This is awful!" Double D protested.
Ed leaned in and laughed, "I know right!? Totally awesome!"
Suddenly darkness enveloped the cart, the overcast of the moon replaced by the deep obsidian black of the forest. Thick branches and harsh shrubs inched out towards the path as if to snatch the cart right from underneath the trio. The cart held though, careening through the forest with the loud hum of aged wheels pushed to their limits.
"There! I see it!" Eddy called back, fingers once again pointing out towards the forest.
The fire was close, the party, the end to the madness was fast approaching and soon this joyride would be over without any casualties. A sigh of relief washed over Double D, the smell of acrid smoke and roasted hot-dogs filled his nose.
Finally, I can run away from this mess.
Then the cart collapsed, split in half at the base - the top portion flying high into the air over the shrubs it had collided with and into the clearing. The cart now free from the wheels flew away like an elegant bird ready to take to the skies. Then came the rolling, the spinning, the meeting of bodies against the hard earth in random scattered directions.
When Double D had finally come to, the world seemed wrong - alien. For one, the sky was on the floor and not up above him. Bright radiating pain shot through his entire body, especially his head. He groaned, his mind groggy and his eyes blurry, unable to get up - unsurprisingly.
I think this is what a concussion is like.
A face came into view after a minute of groaning on the ground. He saw Marie Kanker, at least that's what it looked like, her dark blue hair hung over obscured facial features. Double D gasped, unable to breathe or speak or even scream. Had Eddy miscalculated? Was this some kind of terrifying ritual put on by the Kanker sisters to draw them in? The face spoke, but none of the words made sense.
Oven mitt?
Double D sprang up so fast he nearly knocked heads with the person looking over him and they recoiled. He had to go, he had to run, he had to get away -
Wait.
The features of the face weren't feminine or even remotely like that of Marie Kanker's instead they belonged to Rolf. He made no attempt to grab the injured Ed, instead he simply asked the obvious question on all of the group's minds, "is your head softer than a cow's udder?" Close enough anyway.
Double D blinked. An acute sensation overwhelmed the middle Ed all at once and suddenly he became aware of the fact that he was being watched. Over a dozen eyes fixated on him, each with varying degrees of contempt, anger, or surprise at his sudden entrance. His cheeks flared, eyes watered, and with a dizzyingly quick motion he jumped to his feet.
"Uh…," he stumbled out, his mind blank in the face of so many hostile eyes. Then came rustling, and the eyes were drawn away from his paling figure and towards the edge of the clearing. Eddy stumbled out of the bushes and into the clearing, barely remembering to step over the wreckage of the 'Birthday Rocket 9000'.
"Wh-what's up, party people!" Eddy bellowed with wobbly knees. Silence answered him, but his shame was by far the most tragic casualty of the cart crash.
"Why am I not surprised?" A voice sneered, vehemently. It was rough and hoarse and familiar to Double D, his eyes trying to focus on the figure that produced it.
Kevin.
Attention changed once more, this time towards the center of the clearing closest to the bonfire. Kevin stood there, arms folded over his chest in a frustrated posture, his eyes boring holes into Double D's fragile frame. Nazz stood close behind, her eyes feverishly watching the scene that was about to transpire. Across from her Jonny sat quietly, Rolf beside him - both watching the spectacle and frowning.
Kevin stepped forward, towards Eddy - locking eyes with his much shorter rival. "Can't leave it alone, huh? Freakin' numbskulls," Kevin said, angrily.
Eddy shifted forward, facing Kevin - the new quarterback, and reached into his pocket for something. Pop! Everyone flinched at the sudden noise, watching the confetti of a used party-popper go off right in Kevin's face.
Eddy had…
Eddy laughed an almost hateful laugh before striding up to Kevin and putting a finger in his face. "You're missing the lifeblood of this party, shovel-head," he said. "We're here to fix that. We just brought the party back into your party, no need to thank us," he finished.
The silence was strong, uncomfortable and only broken by the incessant chirping of the forest's insects. No one spoke, some dared not even breathe.
Kevin broke the silence with a strangely maniacal sounding laugh. "God I can't get enough of your shit! You should write a book, dork!" Then he pushed Eddy down to the ground, hard - shaking his head, face red with laughter. Eddy laid there, a look of deep contempt sprawled across his face. Kevin stepped over Eddy and towards the edge of the clearing. He bent down and picked up the old wooden sign that had been used to denote Double D's birthday gift.
Oh no.
Suddenly a cold sweat overtook Double D and he tensed up. Kevin, his anger on full display now, tossed the sign away with a horrid clang.
"So it was you, double-dweeb?" He said in a malicious tone, quickly closing the distance and gripping Double D by the shirt with both hands.
Double D put his hands out in surrender at being lifted, "N-now, Kevin, I th-think we can resolve this peacefully, right?"
"Dude, leave him alone!" Eddy yelled, strained. Double D could see Ed push through the clearing at that moment and freeze, stock-still and very dazed.
"Yeah, Kev I don't think-" Nazz started.
"Stay outta this, Nazz! I'm sick of them screwin' stuff up!" Kevin yelled, his face flush.
Then he raised his right arm as far back as it'd go and smirked.
"Night-night dork."
Then everything went black.
The loud crashing of a distant thunder-strike awoke Double D from his restless slumber, his body wet with sweat. He wiped his face with a lone hand and his eyes scanned the dark of his bedroom. Instinctively he looked over towards his alarm clock, eyes still wide with adrenaline.
4:49 AM.
Double D sighed, turning the alarm switch to the off position and wrestling himself from his sheets and comforter. A trained hand patted down the sheets, while the other adjusted the slightly unkempt pillows propped against the headrest. Satisfied with his cleaning job, he moved towards his work-desk to retrieve his bag and homework. The bag was dirty, covered in mud and puncture marks from last nights events. He frowned, taking the bag into his hands to thoroughly examine the damage. When he did so the soft clatter of glass and bent metal erupted from the bag and his heart sank. Reaching in, carefully, he took the discarded remains of his sextant into his hands and onto the empty space of his desk. Pulverized. The entire frame was bent almost entirely in half, like a strongman had used it to show off his physical abilities by bending stuff. The lens was entirely shattered and even now several small shards of it rested at the bottom of the pocket.
What a horrible tragedy, I'll have to fix it later.
The damage was done and sadly there would be no time to amend the issue before tonight and so Double D resolved instead to attempt repairs at a later date. Picking a glove from his box of white rubber gloves he began the tedious task of removing all the bits of broken glass from inside of the bag.
Then he looked out through the window, just past the curvature of the great oaken desk, to a still, calm, and very dark morning for Peach Creek. In the distance, the not-too-subtle lines of large black storm clouds came like a wild giant barreling in a straight path. Once again satisfied he placed the bag into his hands and then onto the knob of his door and left for the bathroom.
In the bathroom, a grim sight greeted him. A bookish teen, taller than average but shorter than most covered in small cuts and little bruises. Even beneath his blue sleepwear he could tell just how badly the previous night had gone. The worst of the damage was the dark blue and black bruise forming over his left eye, covering almost the entirety of his lid and socket. He groaned at his fingers, prodding gently at the bruise before retreating in pain.
Kevin has got quite the arm on him, doesn't he?
He mused for a moment more before retreating to the shower to wash off the dirt he hadn't been able to get to the night before. Once he was finished he combed out his long black hair and brushed his teeth, every so often catching a glimpse of that horrible black eye. Back in his bedroom he slipped on a black undershirt, for the cold, his trademark orange tee-shirt, and blue shorts.
Having finally wrested his long, knee-high socks and blue sneakers on: Double D slung his bag over his shoulder and shut the bedroom door. Then he completed the look with his signature black and white-striped beanie and headed downstairs.
The house was quiet, as expected, the dark of the mid-autumn morning casting an eerie pitch-black shadow over the living room. With nothing but the memory of the house to guide him he strode into the kitchen, flipping the lights on with a nearby switch. Double D frowned, for once in a long time the sight of half a dozen sticky notes stuck to the fridge did not greet him. Instead only one, singular, yellow note hung from the alabaster of the door. It read simply, in pale blue pen markings, "Happy Birthday, Eddward. - Mom and Dad". Typical.
At least they didn't forget, right?
Double D shook his head from the depression of his thoughts and smiled, forcibly.
"Come now, Eddward, a new academic day awaits," Double D spoke. The stove was waiting, ready to make the most important meal of the day and so he obliged.
After a hearty breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast Double D set about cleaning the mess of his meal. Then the house phone rang, drowned out by the rush of running water. Hastily, he dried his hands and took the receiver off the cradle.
"Eddward speaking."
On the other end was the sound of splashing water followed immediately by Eddy's gravelly voice.
"Hey sockhead," he paused. "Lumpy, stop jumping in puddles - I'm wet enough as it is," then he sighed. "Ed and me are heading to your house to finish that homework you promised to help with."
Double D smiled, rolling his eyes. "It's Ed and I, Eddy - and I don't remember agreeing to help with your homework. I believe you asked if I would do your homework for you."
Eddy groaned. "Come on book-for-brains, do ya' always have to correct me? You know what I meant."
"Grammar is very important, Eddy - so is clarity," Double D chuckled, bemused with Eddy's protesting.
"Yeah well, first period is in an hour and - ack!" Then Eddy cut out, a water-filled crashing sound filling the receiver before the line went dead.
"Uh, Eddy?" Double D asked. No answer. He frowned, setting the receiver down on the table.
Well, that didn't sound good.
Bang, bang, bang! The sliding glass backdoor rattled, nearly coming off its track, followed by the distinct sound of Eddy yelling some kind of expletive. Double D rushed over to unlock the door and let his friends inside. Dripping like a soaked cat came the angry frame of Eddy, a permanent frown plastered onto his face.
Double D chuckled at the sight of him, "I didn't think it was pool season just yet, Eddy."
"Laugh it up, sockhead," Eddy said back, wringing the end of his shirt. "Blockhead there, pushed me into the largest puddle ever. I thought I was gonna drown."
Then, as if on cue, came the sauntering form of Ed - jacket and rain boots covered in mud and rain-water. Ed smiled, sheepishly, before stepping into the dining dragging mud and water along with him.
Well that's one chore to do, I guess.
"I thought it was a small one, Eddy, I promise!" Ed answered.
Eddy growled, throwing his wet shoes to the ground, "Well it wasn't cheese-brain, now I have to go get new clothes." He mumbled something about 'looking fresh today' before heading upstairs to find a towel.
"Please take your coat off, Ed, and shoes," Double D said, moving to the supply closet for a mop and bucket.
Never a dull moment in the cul-de-sac.
Eventually dawn was close, rays of light beginning to peak over the horizon and onto the sleepy suburb with pale gray light. Double D, having sufficiently cleaned up the mess and completed his friend's homework, was ready to go. With a final check of the house's internal state he placed his brown wind-breaker over his shoulders and slid out the door. Satisfied the door was tight and locked he strode out towards his friends who were engaged in yet another argument.
"I'm telling ya, Eddy" Ed protested. "It's worth the money, polar bears are so cool!"
Eddy rolled his eyes, car keys firmly between his fingers, "and I'm tellin' you, Ed, it sounds stupid."
"On an off topic, isn't that shirt somewhat…conspicuous?" Double D chimed in, directing his question to Eddy.
Eddy turned around slightly, puffing out his arms and taking the corners of his opened shirt with both hands. "Conspicuous? Nah," he chuckled. "Girls love colors."
Double D noted the unique colorations of the tacky Hawaiian shirt as being quirky in his mind and smiled politely.
Ahead of them stood the beaten frame of a rusty, paint-chipped van complete with a set of fuzzy white dice hanging from the mirror. It was old-school, maybe too old school - but it had been Eddy's dream car for the longest time when they were kids. Eddy unlocked the side door with his key, struggling for a few seconds before being able to freely slide the door away. The pungent must of wet carpet hit the three of them like a brick wall. Double D jumped away, just narrowly avoiding retching from the stink.
"Oh boy!" Eddy yelped, pinching his nose hard enough to turn it white. He spun on his heels and turned away.
Ed on the other hand seemed mostly unaffected, simply sliding into the van and plopping onto the nearby cabin bench.
"Okay, yeah," Eddy croaked through a pinched nasal cavity. "Gotta fix that freakin' leak - that is awful!"
Double D nodded, reaching into his backpack to find a pair of clothespins and handing one to Eddy who graciously accepted. Now protected, mostly, from the stench - Double D and Eddy leaped up into the van and over the center console into the front seats. Double D settled in, trying hard not to think about the slightly damp feeling on his thighs as he did so.
Kicking a few soda cans out from his foot space he sat, rigidly, with his bag in his lap. He buckled his seat belt in and sighed.
"I must insist you clean this filthy vehicle," Double D croaked.
Eddy rolled his eyes, shifting his bag out onto the floor behind his seat with a loud thud. "Pipe down, mom, the mess is part of the charm," he protested.
Double D pulled hard, removing his hand from a particularly sticky patch of door-plastic, grimacing. "Is the stickiness a part of the charm as well?"
Eddy scoffed, "you're just jealous you can't drive yet, sockhead." With an idle hand he set about the work of starting the old beater van up.
It was true, well not the jealousy part, who would want to drive a two ton death machine? Double D had never driven before or even had a job either for that matter. He had mused with the thought of studying for the license test before but had decided that it was a far too dangerous prospect. Fresh memories of last night's horror-inducing descent down the hill sprung to mind and once again shut the idea down there.
Oh well. Eddy does enough driving for the both of us anyway.
Finally, after the third long winded crank, the car sputtered to life with a loud screech and pop before settling into a rhythmic hum.
"Hah, see," Eddy laughed, putting the van into drive. "She's still got it!"
Double D offered a weak smile, to which Eddy returned with his own withering look of discontent.
Then the van was moving, away from the curb onto the street and into town where their academic institution would be. Ed yawned, laying down on the putrid, mold covered bench and lazed about with a comic book he had stashed away in the crux of the seat. Double D frowned at his friend's lack of a seat belt but ultimately said nothing, it would be fruitless anyway.
Peach Creek High School was amongst the growing list of things in Peach Creek that were, for no better phrasing, 'becoming retro'. Steepled roof, tall brick-inlaid frame work, and the horrible color of faded salmon - making the building strangely unique. It was in decent shape for one built some time in the sixties. Unfortunately it also screamed 'I might collapse if the wind got too bad' just a bit too loudly to make Double D feel safe. The foundation was cracked, the bathroom plumbing was leaky, and strangely a family of raccoons roamed about the place as if they belonged there. Even more so they always seemed to duck away just in the nick of time whenever Double D pointed it out to people.
This was one of those occasions.
"Dude, you need to get some glasses or something," Eddy chided, dragging his bag behind him like a caveman with a fresh kill.
Double D sighed, rubbing his forehead, "I can't imagine they've gone this long without being noticed." He paused, looking over at Eddy and his strange predicament.
"Something I should know, Eddy?" Double D asked.
Eddy waved his hand with a curt head shake, frowning, "Science project."
Double D shook his head, confused but pushed the subject no further, opting instead to pick a piece of trash up off the linoleum floor. "Litterers," he sighed, placing it neatly into a nearby trash can.
Eddy stopped, shifting towards Ed who was busy looking into the vent the raccoon family had disappeared through. He turned his attention to Double D with a scowl, "by the way," he started. "I didn't wanna say anything earlier but that bruise on your face is gnarly-looking."
Double D shifted a bit, uncomfortable. "Is it really that bad?" Double D asked, fingers tracing the bruise idly. Eddy nodded, to which Double D deflated a bit, quietly lost in the thoughts of the recent events once again.
"Stupid meat-brain," Eddy growled.
Double D shrugged, "we should know better not to anger him."
Eddy scowled, shaking his head. "Yeah, well, it's stupid he gets free reign around here," he said. Then he smirked, eyes filled with mischief, a look Double D did not like the sight of.
"Maybe I'll slip some thumbtacks into his gym bag when he's not looking," Eddy laughed, once again dragging his bag with him down the hall. "Oh no bro, my ass has holes in it now - who put tacks in my underwear?!" Eddy mimicked, sounding pretty closely like Kevin and laughed.
Double D laughed too, reflexively and turned away towards the second-floor stairwell.
"See you both for lunch, gentlemen," Double D called back, heading up to his first period class with more spring in his step than before.
Brrng! Brrng! Bong!
After a passionate, somewhat lengthy lecture on isotopes and quantum physics, the fourth period bell was a sweet release for most of the class. Most were up and out of the room before the teacher had even realized that lunch period had started. He sighed, placing his marker down on the table.
"Oh well, kids these days," he sighed dejectedly - exiting the classroom towards the faculty room.
Double D sat, last one in the classroom, focused intently on a particularly difficult physics equation. It was only after a bright ray from the afternoon sun had broken through the clouds and into Double D's eyes that he realized that class was over.
"Oh, hah," he chuckled, removing his pencil from his notepad. "Class appears to be over."
Time for lunch.
Double D often ended up like this in most of his classes, alone, last one in the classroom working on whatever piece of information he had learned in class. He placed his papers, pencils, and notepad back into his battle-damaged bag. Then he set about the work of cleaning eraser shavings off the desk with a free hand and standing up.
Then came the laughing, almost cackling - like the cacophonous choir of a witches coven from deep beyond the doorway. His heart stopped, hands sweaty, eyes stuck to the doorway with the fear of a startled doe.
No…not…
Lee Kanker appeared first, arms outstretched in front of her in a wild motion of raucous amusement. Her eyes, obscured with bright curly hair - teeth pale and looped rings hanging from her earlobes. She let out another loud cackle, throwing her hands to her knees in laughter.
"Holy - did you see his face?" Lee snorted between breaths.
Kankers!
Double D froze, absolutely petrified by the sudden appearance of one of his worst nightmares. Sure enough around the corner came another devil, pale shoulder-length blonde hair trailing behind the timid frame of May Kanker. She giggled, quietly - a far cry from her raucous sister, her hands close to her face in sheepish amusement.
"He looked so funny strung up like that," she answered.
Lastly, trailing behind her sisters, came the bane of his existence freezing Double D's heart solid in his chest.
Marie Kanker.
Marie's blue hair was wild, a single phosphorus-blue shadowed eye peeking out through her long bangs as she laughed. She was tilted back, laughing hysterically like some kind of action-movie villain after defeating the hero.
She wiped a tear from her eye as she walked, "I can't believe pants can even do that!" Her tone was loud, excited - her face flush with unrestrained amusement.
Move you idiot, move! Double D yelled in his mind, he had to run, to flee, to escape - yet his feet seemed stuck to the tile.
Lee stopped, as if sensing his fear, craning her neck up as if to see her prey over a tall bush in the forest. She put her elbow out, catching Marie in the ribs as she stopped, face angled to look through the classroom.
"Hey, what gives-" Marie started. She saw him too now and for a second, time seemed to stand still for Double D as they made eye contact.
I am dead. So, so, so dead.
It has been quite awhile since the last round of bullying and yet he felt like he was a kid again, looking up at the face of blue-haired torment and shaking. He imagined Marie's crooked smile bearing down on him with malicious and sadistic intent, a spider catching a trapped bug.
This new smile, however, was a bit strained - a little forced. It seemed unsure, but still it persisted with that same intent. More like a reflex than any real reaction to seeing him there in the doorway.
"Whoa," Lee started, lips curled into a smile. "Looks like we just hit the jackpot, ladies - lover boy there is probably loaded with lunch money."
May turned to look towards Double D, her eyes scanning his figure with a look of curiosity.
Marie turned to look at Lee, her smile unchanged and spoke up, "oven mitt?"
She looked him over and folded her arms in genuine consideration. Lee turned back, smile still wide and unfriendly.
"Yeah, Marie, the love of your life," she said, tapping her foot. "Get something off him so we can eat, yeah? I'm tired of the protein bars."
Marie shook her head, and walked forward. "Sure sure, captain bossy - head to the usual spot," she said waving her hand. Lee and May, satisfied that Marie would do a good job without their supervision, turned down the corner, giggling the whole time. When they had finally moved out of earshot, Marie entered the room and shut the door behind her. Leaning back against the now shut door frame, she leveled a toothy grin at him yet again.
"Hey, cutie," she cooed.
Double D grimaced, still stuck in place. "M-Marie. H-how are you on th-this fine day?" He stuttered.
"Good," she started, moving towards him. "Would be better if I could get some lunch today, if you get my meaning."
Then she was upon him, looking up at him slightly.
"You got taller, huh?" She said, still smiling. Then her smile faded.
He shook his head, "If we could f-forgo the beating this time around, I am m-more than willing to extend some money to you and your sisters."
Then he reached down to retrieve his wallet from his short's pocket. Marie reached out and grabbed his wrist, tight, making him look back towards her.
"Uh…please not the face," he pleaded, body tense.
"Still getting bullied, dreamboat?"
What?
With a cool, black-painted fingernail Marie poked the underside of his eye gingerly - almost absentmindedly. Double D winced, recoiling a bit and pulling from her grip.
"Whoa, easy there tiger," she responded, hands back and up in a defensive manner. "Just checkin' the damage there, no need to panic."
Double D stepped back bumping into an adjacent work desk, caught off guard.
What the hell is happening? Where is the laughing, the hitting, the forced kisses? Is this…kindness? Or a ploy?
"Th-that's quite alright, Marie it's not as bad as it looks," he trembled nervously.
Marie stepped forward, cocking her head to one side. Then she shrugged, resigned to leave the matter alone. Instead she held out her hand, palm up - waiting. Double D frowned, but did as he was bid, removing the clean ten dollar bill he kept for emergencies from his wallet and into her hand.
"Good," she smirked. "Here, take this."
With little fanfare she flung the draw-string backpack off her shoulders and into her hands, searching the inside for something.
Double D's heart raced, mind conjuring up the image of a great wooden mallet or perhaps a length of rope for tying him up with. Instead she simply pulled out a small white block with clear blue writing and handed it to him. With her arm extended he could see that it read 'Emergency Ice Pack' on the front with instructions on activating it.
Mind numb, he took what was handed to him out of reflex and watched her back away towards the door.
"See ya later, oven mitt," she said before slinking out the door and into the hallway.
"Huh?" Was all he could muster before his legs gave out on him like Jell-o under an elephant.