Chapter 11

Dinner was over ; Emmett had gone to the bathroom to take a shower and brush his teeth. After coming back from a quick trip to his house where he'd retreived the few things (clothes, his toiletry bag and pyjamas as well as the gifts he'd bought for Esme for Christmas) he'd need during his stay at Esme's house, Carlisle had volunteered to do the dishes, but Esme wouldn't let him. They'd come to an agreement : Esme was washing and Carlisle drying.

"So where am I going to sleep ?" Carlisle asked as they were employed in that task.

Esme hesitated.

"Emmett said he's taking the couch. He's used to sleeping on it when he comes here," she finally answered. "You can have my bed, I'll sleep on a mattress in the living room next to him."

"Don't," Carlisle immediately protested.

He blushed a little upon his too quick reaction.

"I can't deprive you of your own bed."

"You're my guest."

"Still, I want you to be comfortable. What I suggest is that we both sleep in your bed."

He focused intently on the glass he was drying as he spoke these bold words. When he was done, he carefully put the glass away and looked at Esme out of the corner of his eye. Her face was pink as, he was sure, was his. As he watched her, she gave a shy nod of agreement.

"Okay, we'll do that."

They continued their work in silence, but they were both very happy at the manner in which the issue had just been resolved.

They lay in the dark. Just like last time, Carlisle had pulled Esme in his embrace, almost without thinking about it. Neither of them had suggested they get a second pillow. Esme's bed was designed for one person, not two, which meant that Carlisle was holding her because they had to stay very close to each other so as to not fall from the bed, and because the air was quite cold, so he wanted to make sure she was warm enough. It had nothing to do with the agreeable tightening of his stomach and the flutter of his heart that occurred every time he was that close to her, nor with the comfort and the sense of contentment that filled him whenever he wrapped his arms around her. Thankfully, she didn't seem to mind anymore than he did.

He loved it every time she touched him. Every gentle stroke of his cheek, every light kiss she bestowed upon him he treasured, always with the hope to get more.

Perhaps it was the fact that they were in the most total darkness. Perhaps it was the feeling of comfort and relaxation that surrounded them. Perhaps it was the feel of Esme so close to him. Perhaps it was all these things combined. Carlisle wasn't sure. All he knew was that, as he was on the brink of sleep, his mouth opened and he blurted out :

"I missed you. Last night and the night before."

As soon as the words crossed his lips, he flushed violently. What was he complaining of ? Even though she hadn't spent the nights he had mentioned with him, she'd been at his house in both the evenings. Thankfully, Esme couldn't see the embarrassed blush on his face, nor did she laugh at him for saying that, or declare that he was weirdly obsessed with her (which he unfortunately was). She only replied :

"Me too. Feathers kept me company but I'm afraid she can't replace you."

His heart accelerated with the sheer joy he felt and a small burst of surprised laughter escaped his lips. She'd missed him too ! This feeling gave him the courage to dare very quickly kiss her temple. He thought she was smiling, but he may have been mistaken (the obscurity prevented him from being totally sure). She extended a hand and took his. She simply held it, wordlessly, but a light shiver ran through his body at the contact of her warm skin with his. A contented silence fell over their embraced forms.

Carlisle was very close to falling asleep when it crashed upon him. He was in love with Esme. His eyes flew open. To say he was startled was an understatement. The longer he thought about it, though, the more he felt it was true. He really was in love with her, and he'd been a blind fool not to notice it earlier. He looked at her.

She was asleep. He raised one shaking hand and carefully brushed her cheek, barely making contact with her skin.

"I love you."

The whispered words were uttered in so faint a tone he wasn't sure she would have heard him even if she'd been awake. Not that he would've dared confess his feelings to her if that had been the case. As it was, the only response he got was a light snore as she shuffled and turned around, clutching his arm. She soon ceased her movements and fell back into a deeper sleep. He made sure she was not in a too uncomfortable position, and soon after he dozed off.

When he woke up, Esme was already awake. She sat reading in the bed next to him, still lying down. Slowly, he straightened up and settled himself next to her.

"Good morning," she said with a smile.

"Hi."

He grinned back at her.

"Emmett's still sleeping," she announced.

"Okay."

Silence settled over them. Carlisle would have been very happy to do nothing but gaze at her in awe, but she'd probably think he was weird. Instead, he racked his brains in search of something to say.

"...Did you sleep well ?"

There surely were much better topics of conversation, but right now it was all he could muster.

"Very well, thank you. What about you ?"

"Oh, I had a great night."

Carlisle never slept better than when Esme was with him.

Their conversation had again come to a stop. Carlisle didn't know what to say. He gave up and began to think about the party at the hospital. He needed to talk about it to Emmett. He really looked forward to it. There would probably be music. People usually danced, but not him, because he never had a partner. He enjoyed staying on the sidelines and watching the others. Some people danced extremely well, like for example Carmen. She was very graceful. He snickered internally. Eleazar would have to stir himself.

Wait.

Esme had accepted to go with him, right ?

Oh no. When was the last time he'd danced ? Prom. That meant it had been – way too many years. Oh no.

"...Esme ?"

"Yes ?"

"About the party the hospital organizes. We're most likely going to dance."

She smiled.

"I assumed so."

He gulped. She was certainly, if not a great dancer, at least used to dancing, which only made him feel more ridiculous.

"Well, I should probably warn you that the last time I went to a dance – and actually took part in it – was when I was eighteen."

"Wow. That was a long time ago."

He blushed.

"What I meant to say is – I'm probably not the most desirable partner. Even then I wasn't a very glorious dancer. I shudder at the thought of the quality of my performance now."

Esme laughed.

"My point," he continued, "is that if you change your mind and don't want to go – or at least not with me – I'll understand."

She grabbed his hand.

"Of course I'll go with you. I said I would."

Comforted after hearing her first sentence, Carlisle's stomach lurched at the second. She would only accompany him because she was a kind, honourable person who kept her word. She'd told her tiresome neighbour, doubtless in a moment of weakness, that she'd go with him to a party after he'd practically begged her, and now she would stick by her promise. She didn't have to do that. She didn't deserve to be stuck with him.

"Don't feel forced."

She sent him a puzzled look.

"If – if you don't want to, you don't have to go, even if you said you would. I promise I won't feel hurt, and I won't resent you."

How could he ever feel anything negative about her ?

She gripped his hand and he prepared himself for the sting of rejection – deservedly, but it didn't feel any less painful.

"Carlisle, if I said I'd go with you, it's because I want to. So stop attempting to discourage me, or I'll think you're trying to get rid of me."

He let out a laugh. He couldn't imagine himself trying to get rid of her. He constantly wanted her to be close, to be with him. Her words had relieved him of his anguish. He made sure she meant them one last time :

"I – can't dance – very well."

If he trusted his memories, he'd been quite mediocre back in high school. Now, after more than a decade, he was very likely horrible.

Esme only smiled at him.

"I don't care. I'm not very good either. And we don't have to dance if you don't want to. I'm going with you, first, because you asked me, second, because I want to spend time with you, and lastly because I'm interested in meeting your colleagues you've talked about. I'll finally have a face to associate with Tanya's voice."

Carlisle chuckled.

"Okay."

After a pause, he shyly said :

"I'm very happy you said yes. I'm not trying to get rid of you, I promise. I esteem you and I like – no, I love spending time with you. I just want to be sure it's reciprocated."

"It is."

She gave him a brilliant smile and in that moment he couldn't have remembered his own name. The only thought that ran through his mind as he admired that beam was how much he wanted to kiss her.

Steps echoing in the corridor roused him from his daydream. It seemed Emmett was finally awake. Soon, there was a knock on the door of the bedroom : he must have seen the sliver of light under it and known they were awake.

"Come in, Em," Esme called, evidently having come to the same conclusions as Carlisle.

"Hi, Es !" her brother said as he stepped into the room. "Hi, Carlisle !"

They both greeted him back.

"Emmett, the hospital where I work is organizing a party tomorrow evening," Carlisle began. "I'm invited, of course, and I'm allowed to bring with me as many people as I please. Esme said she'd come, do you want to ?"

"I'm so sorry, I'd love to go with you guys, but I already have something planned. I was thinking about leaving after lunch."

Esme nodded.

"Okay."

Carlisle was surprised.

"Are you leaving that soon ?"

Emmett blushed a little.

"Well, I'd stay longer, but I've got a friend who invited me to dinner."

His answer elicited a smirk out of Esme. Carlisle didn't know why. He didn't know why Emmett looked so embarrassed, either, until Esme said :

"Is it Rosalie ?"

Emmett's face reddened even further.

"Yeah," he admitted.

"Ah, well," Esme said, "we'll both spend nice evenings."

They exchanged a smile. Carlisle didn't understand what was going on. Finally noticing his blank look, Esme abruptly changed the subject and suggested they start breakfast, as it was nearing 10 a.m. They'd slept a long time.