Chapter 3
Sweet Sweet Deal
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From where we left off, Izuku Midoriya, under the guidance of quirky dealmaker, Spamton G. Spamton, has begun his journey to making it big. By using only his wit and the clothes in his closet, Izuku was able to end his school day as a wealthy teen indeed.
From outside the middle academy, a faint bell was heard from inside soon followed by its front doors being flung open by a wave of eager students, all ready to relax and play the rest of their day away. Yet that was not the case for the messy haired boy, for Izuku did not step outside till it was half past five, hours after everyone else had left. He stood at the front steps with no table in hand, his backpack nearly barren, yet a proud smile still graced his lips.
Izuku stepped down, steering himself to a path with fewer people, scanning the area before taking out his calculator (Which he used for both his Algebra 2 and Geometry Classes). "Isn't it great Spamton," spoke Izuku excitedly despite his whisper, "I think we easily made over fifty thousand yen today," he smiled, crunching the numbers into his device.
"[[$!$!]] YEAH YOU DID MY [[Little Toothpaste Jr]]!" chirped the dealmakers. "COME ON [[Push It Real Good!]] WHAT'S THE TOTAL!?"
"Let's see," hummed Izuku, "Well for our morning shift, we made 31,250 yen. Then during my lunch period, we got a small bonus of 6,000 yen there. And finally after class ended to now, we made 25,550 yen. If we total all of that up…" he paused for effect as he put in the last digits.
"We get a total of 62,800 yen!" exclaimed Izuku, giving a small jump in his jubilation. "This incredible Spamton! I've never made this much money, no, seen this much money, ever! This might even be more than what my mom brings back with her salary," he spoke wistfully, closing his eyes briefly to enjoy his daydream.
His glasses lit his eyes up with cyber themed fanfare as the digital Spamton Avatar popped back up. "YUM YUM, ME [[Heart]] ALL THAT DELICIS [[kROmer]]! WE'LL ACTUALLY HAVE A [[Above Minimum Wage]] TO KEEP AROUND IN OUR [[Money Hole]]! I THINK EVEN MORE THAN HALF!"
"What why?" inquired Izuku, pausing his stride mid step to raise his brow.
Spamton was about to talk back but instead just groaned. "OH WHO AM I [[Kicking Here]]. OF COURSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW A [[Homegrown]] MONOPOLY WORKS. LISTEN UP! TO PUT IN [[Your Chicken Nuggies]], WE NEED CHEAP [[Customization Options]] TO MAKE MORE EXPENSIVE [[Rags]] FOR [[Hags]]. WE USED YOUR WHOLE [[Chest Of Duds]] JUST FOR TODAY!"
He turned his head in confusion, until it hit him. Izuku casually moved Spamton up off his face before he facepalmed himself. "Oh your right," he groaned, "well at least it's only Tuesday. I still have the rest of my uniforms before my mom realizes that I'm out of clothes," reassured Izuku sheepishly, wondering what his mothers reaction would be.
"WHY WAIT! BUY NOW AND YOU CAN SAVE [[15% Or More On Your Dental Insurance]]! WE HAVE THE TIME, LETS [[Kidnap]] SOME [[Drippy Fits]] AT THE [[Poor People Store]]!"
"You mean a thrift store?"
"YES! YES! QUIP BEaNinG SUCH aH GRAMMER [[Seig Heil!]]!"
Izuku couldn't help but chuckle at his antics, helping Spamton back onto his face. "Well I'll see if there's one close by," smiled Izuku as he took out his phone to pull up a map. "Oh, there's one a few minutes away from the school!" he chirped before pressing a button to pull up the route. "Though, I haven't taken this route before," mumbled Izuku, thoughtfully rubbing his chin.
"HEEEEY, I [[RECALL]] THAT ESTABLISHMENT. THAT [[Smurf]] IS REALLY [[Starving]] ON THOSE PRICES!"
"Really? Well then there's no time to waste. We need to hurry up and get everything we can before my mom starts worrying again," voiced Izuku, looking both ways before crossing the street to take this new path.
Said path was a backroad that looked like one seedier parts of the city. He couldn't help but hold the straps of his backpack just a bit tighter as he continued down the ever narrowing sidewalk. It also wasn't helping his nerves with how not only were the apartment complexes towering high above him, but also seemingly closing in on him. It left the way forward feeling not only cramped, but also dark as the height of the buildings and messy wires above nearly blocked out all of the light as the shadows greedily claimed it all.
"I can't believe this place is so close to my school," thought Izuku, flinching at a large hairy rat that ran past him, scrubbing to the adjacent wall as it squeezed itself into a small crack before disappearing. "It seems so, dirty. I can't believe a hero or somebody hasn't made this place look nicer," sighed the naive boy as he kept on his way.
A small moment later, he was almost to the otherside, the light shining outward like a fountain. Izuku couldn't help but feel grateful that he was almost out of this musky and cramped path. Stepping foot into the light, he couldn't help but feel just a little bit guilty about how the slum made him feel, but at least he could put it all behind him now…
"Ho ho ho!" bounded a laugh.
Izuku looked up from where he heard the noise, squinting his eyes as a large shadow was falling from the sky. "Woah!" yelped Izuku followed swiftly by him diving back right before that massive thing smashed him into the ground. Even when it missed, part of it fell out, keeping its momentum going until it hit the bricks on the opposite wall, making a bombastic explosion that rang off with a-!
*KER-BOOM!*
Wall, smoke, and debris of all sorts came flying out so fast that Izuku rolled away from the explosion in an effort to shield his eyes. He kept his guard up waiting for anything else to randomly fall on his head. When he didn't hear anything else, he carefully sat up to gaze at the smoke cloud blocking his entrance. "I'm getting real sick of getting caught off guard." muttered the annoyed teen.
"Ho ho ho! Looks like I have a new clown on the block!" laughed the same voice, as Izuku could just make out a small figure standing in the smoke. "I hope you're ready to buy some-!" the smoke completely cleared so Izuku could now see the voice was, "Cookies!" he chirped happily, as he spun in place with his blue tongue stuck out.
What he thought was some kind of big animal or piano was actually a boy, a small one at that with an appearance that was a lot to take in. His head was blue with a tear drop shaped dome that hid his eyes in a darkened shadow. His skin was ghoulishly pale and was covered by his blue mittens, blue shoes and his… black shirt? It actually made him incredibly uncomfortable that he couldn't really tell if he was wearing any clothes at all or if that was just how his skin was.
But shaking off that slightly disturbing idea, he also realized that the rest of the size was from a rather large baby blue colored stand that was marked with a darker spade on top like the one on the boy's shirt(?). The stand reminded him of the bake sales his mom used to take him to when he was younger. Or, he should say what was left of it. Seems like falling from who knows how high caused it to look more disheveled than it should.
"Hey, clown. Are you going to buy anything? Or are you just going to sit on the ground like you're describing the scenery?" questioned the boy with a confused head tilt.
Izuku blinked a few times as he came back to his senses. "Well what am I supposed to do! You almost crushed me like a bug! And then you had that explosion! Why was there an explosion!?" shouted Izuku as he got himself off the grimey ground, using a clean part of his shirt to wipe his glasses clean. "Like seriously! Why would you do any of this in the first place!?" asked Izuku, pointing an accusing finger at the reckless smaller child.
"Well duh, I had to get your attention somehow. My mama once told me you always have to hook in a customer," said the kid with a goofy smile.
"With an explosion?!"
"Yup!" cackled the blue boy as he rolled on the ground in his fit.
Izuku clasped his face and groaned at how immature he was acting. "Listen here, uh, round boy?"
"Lancer!"
"Yeah Lancer, I really need to get across to that thrift shop so could you please move both yourself and your stand out of my way? Kind of on a deadline here," he scrutinized, tapping his foot impatiently.
Yet he almost immediately felt guilty when he saw the sad frown on Lancer's face. "Well, yeah I could do that. But I really need the extra cash."
"What for?" groaned Izuku with his eyes rolling.
"Well I need it for three things!" he grinned with his tongue out, changing his attitude on a dime. "One, for those explosions I used to look cool. I used them all, so they're all gone now. Two, I need it to give my Daddy some money for his smokes. Three, if I have anything left over, which hasn't really happened yet. I'll put it in my Uncle Rouxl's doggy bank so I can save up to get a new bike!" he exclaimed a bit too excitedly to be genuine.
"M-money for his smokes?" asked Izuku cautiously.
"Uh, well yeah," said Lancer, a bead of sweat running down his face, "Daddy's still taking the divorce pretty badly. But hey! At least he's not drinking while driving anymore! Ho ho ho!" laughed Lancer in a way Izuku couldn't tell was forced or not.
"Oh man, I overstepped," panicked Izuku. "Uhm, well how about that bike hahaha. What happened to the old one?" he asked, desperately trying to side step that landmine.
"Oh that! It's a totally rad story!" exclaimed Lancer without missing a beat, "Okay, so like, I went to see this movie with my Dad where this guy with a flaming skull was driving this epic flaming motorcycle-."
"Wait…you didn't…"
"Oh yeah I did! It was too cool! I wanted to be just like him! So when I got out of the movie whatever," Lancer struck a pose, "I lit my bike on fire!"
Izuku couldn't speak at all, words failing him as he just stared at Lancer slack jawed.
"See! That was the reaction my Dad had too!" laughed the round boy. "Ah, so in short seaweed boy, I need your money, so I can get a new bike to light on fire," beamed Lancer, sticking his tongue out cutely.
"B-but," stuttered Izuku, "Why would I even give you anything… if you're just going to literally light it on fire like that?" explained the teen, trying his best to hold back his harsher words.
"Well, uhm, I have me shaped cookies. See!" said Lancer, climbing up his ruined stand to pull out a tray to show him his blue, spade shaped cookies. They looked remarkably like Lancer, even down to his blue tongue sticking out. "So what do you say gentle clown? Care to try one?" smiled Lancer hopefully.
Despite it all, the money for smoking, bike burning, and the attempted murder, Izuku's heart melted at how much effort Lancer was putting into the sale. Even if the explosions earlier were a bit much, he was still trying his best to impress him. He began reaching for his wallet when the Dealmaker interrupted him. "HOLD THE [[Mayo]] KID! YOU AREN'T GOING TO SPEND OUR HARD EARNED [[KROOOMER]] ON THIS SMALL TIMER! RIGHT!?"
"Like I have the money so why not? I can spend just a-."
"IZUKU! WE HAVE [[Recurring Tax Deductions]]! THIS MONEY NEEDS TO GO TO BUYING MORE JUNK SO WE CAN SELL MORE JUNK!" argued the glasses.
"Ah don't be such a scrooge. I promise to keep savings for saving, but it's just a kid. Don't you want to support small businesses?" asked Izuku with a playful smile.
The digital head turned away and Izuku could tell that if he had arms they would definitely be crossed. "AH MY, [[Rapid Shrinking Heart]]! FINE! HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ME!" pouted Spamton. "BUT DON'T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN YOU SPEND ALL THE MOOLA ON, [[The Life Blood Of Our Comunion]]."
"Uhm, why are you talking to yourself? You okay dude?" asked Lancer, giving him a funny look as Izuku froze from surprise.
"Oh!" shouted Izuku, "I forgot he was there," he thought as he looked around for an excuse. "Uh, well it's for… medical reasons?" lied Izuku badly, looking away from Lancer guiltily.
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, Okay!" chirped Lancer giving him a thumbs up. "I call these Lancer Cookies! TRADE MARKED! They cost 780 Yen each!"
"Ow, why did you yell the trade marked so loud?" groaned Izuku, massaging his ears.
"Oops, didn't mean to hurt your ears. I just have to say it out loud so the cookie thieves don't steal my Lancer Cookie secret recipe," huffed the boy, steam coming out of his non-existent nose.
"Really? I didn't know it worked like that," spoke Izuku thoughtfully.
"[[It really doesn't.]]"
"Well besides my ears bleeding, that's certainly not a bad price," nodded Izuku, exchanging some coins in his wallet for a Lancer Cookie. Holding it in his hand, he could feel how soft and light the cookie felt in his hand and got curious. Shifting his gaze to his glasses, Izuku looked at the act menu, and decided to check the Lancer Cookie to see what he would get.
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*(The LANCERCOOKIE™)*
*A cookie shaped like Lancer's face. Maybe not a cookie?*
*Heals 15 HP?*
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"HP? Why would it give me stats like I'm in some kind of video game?" pondered Izuku, giving Lancer a questioning glance in which only got that giddy smile of his back. "Well at least it doesn't seem like poison. Bottoms up!"
In one bite, Izuku ate the whole soft treat, taking time to chew and savor the taste before he swallowed it. "So… did I do a good?" asked Lancer hopefully.
"It…"
"It was so good Lancer! It was amazing! I've never had something this good in my life!" sobbed Izuku, unable to stop tears from streaming down his face from pure happiness. He gave Lancer a smile and a thumbs up as Lancer spun joyfully like a top.
"Ho ho ho! I did! I knew I was cooking right! All those thirty second long cooking videos finally paid off!" cheered Lancer. "I've never earned so much money before!"
"Huh?" blinked Izuku, rubbing his tears away. "But I only bought a single cookie?"
"Well, business is slow. Like… really, really slow. But I can't exactly leave this street unless I ask my dad, and I don't know any better places to really ask him to go," pouted Lancer, deflating a bit.
That's when a lightbulb went off in Izuku's head, an idea that was so good, he couldn't help but grin. "Hey Lancer, how about we make a deal?" spoke Izuku, his voice softening ever so slightly.
Lancer turned his head to the side. "A, deal?"
"Yes, a deal. A way you can make more money than you ever could here," grinned Izuku, approaching Lancer tentatively. "You see, at my school I'm currently selling shirts and other items. If you can convince your dad to let you come with me, I promise I can give you more than that messily 780 yen."
"R-really?" said Lancer surprised.
"Yes really, I'm sure we can even double the price and still be able to sell plenty of those cookies. I of course will 'acquire' half the money from every cookie sold since it's my venue. But other than that, you will be making more, I will be making more, and we'll all be happy in the end," smiled Izuku, getting on one knee to extend a hand to the small child. "So come on Lancer… take my deal."
Izuku couldn't see it, but he could feel Lancer's eyes widen at the gesture he did. He could tell because… he didn't take his hand right away, he simply squirmed uncomfortably. "I uh. I'm not so sure," muttered Lancer, starting to break out in a nervous sweat.
Izuku lowered his hand, feeling that pang of guilt hit him again, yet, he tried again. "But what about getting that new bike? Getting those explosives? Or making your Dad happy?" he moved his hand towards Lancer again. "Don't you want him to be proud of you?" spoke the green haired teen in a tone he's never used before.
Lancer stood frozen in place, but he slowly reached out for his hand. "O-okay, I don't see why not, right?" he said shakily.
"Exactly! Come on cheer up Lancer! There's so much to look forward to!" exclaimed Izuku, taking his hand and giving the blue boy a firm handshake.
"Y-yeah! You're right! I do need the money after all!" breathed Lancer, getting some of that energy as he smiled back to Izuku.
"You sure do!" shouted Izuku as he passed Lancer to start stepping over the broken stand. "Oh before I go, take this," said Izuku, stepping back down and putting a piece of paper into Lancer's hand. "It's my phone number, so just send me a text of your address and I'll come pick you up before school starts so we can have time to set up. Sound good to you?"
It was Lancer's turn to be slack jawed. Izuku could practically feel the joy radiating off him like a roaring fire. "Yeah! Oh my gosh, I've never had anyone on my phone before! Like I have Daddy, Uncle Rouxls, and those other two clowns, but not someone like you! Wait, does that mean we're friends!?" gasped the round boy.
"Of course Lancer. Anyone who works towards the same goal as me is a friend of mine," nodded Izuku as he stepped back up the stand and into the light. "See you tomorrow Lancer!" waved Izuku as he jumped down and out of sight of the blue boy.
"See you too Seaweed Boy!" yelled Lancer waving back to him.
And so, just like that, Izuku and Lancer went their separate ways for the day.
Izuku kept walking, walking towards the large thrift shop. With no one between them, he could hear Spamton ring into his ears again. "GADZOOKS KIDDO! THAT WAS SUCH A [[BIG SHOT!]] DEAL YOU MADE THERE! OUR SALES ARE GONNA GO THROUGH THE [[Glass Floor]] WITH THIS ONE!" cackled the digital salesman.
"You really think so? I dunno, I didn't think it was anything that special," mumbled Izuku as he began walking up the steps.
"PLEASE PLEASE, DON'T BE SO HUMBLE [[Buster]]! YOUR BECOMING YOUR OWN, [[XY Chromosomes]] KIDDO! PROUD OF YEAH!"
"Well thanks. You too Spamton," smiled Izuku. But to him, that smile felt like a lie, a facade of a real smile.
"Thanks? Do I really deserve it," he clenched his fist. "What am I without Spamton. If it wasn't for him, I never would've had the chance to be so confident, or have the chance to have control over my life." He finally made it up the steps, taking the final strides to the entrance.
Izuku stood there for a moment. "It was a good deal I gave to Lancer, right? I'm helping him make money, just like I am for myself. I made the right choice, the right deal. But… then why doesn't it feel like it. When I remember how he felt, felt when he didn't take my hand. Was that really…"
"It's natural…" spoke Spamton in that hollow voice.
"Spamton!"
"I'm sorry! I didn't think I said that out loud. Sorry about that," apologized the green teen.
"IT'S PINE! ALL WATER [[Drowning]] THE BRIDGE," rung the glasses. "OH BUT SERIOUSLY, IZUKU…"
"Yes Spamton?"
"YOU'RE QUEERLESS REMEMBER. I KNOW YOUR A [[Golf Ball]], BUT JUST REMEMBER YOU'RE ALWAYS AT A DISADVANTAGE. SO NEVER, EvR LET THAT FEELING STEP IN BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR DREAM. UNDERSTAND?"
Izuku looked downcast at the words, "I understand, you're right Spamton. Thank you for reminding me."
"EEEY, NO PROBLEMO KIDDO!" winked the digital Spamton.
"Heh, he's right. I was just wrapped up in my head that I almost lost sight of my goal," he slapped himself on the cheeks. "So, I better think about what clothes I'm going to grab in there. Hopefully it's in and out so I can finish early enough to sleep early," he sighed, unclenching his fist as he restarted for the door.
Izuku reached out for the door when his gaze caught a familiar sight out of the corner of his eye.
To his right, he saw that same star from his room appear beside him. Just like before, he felt that strong urge to reach out and touch it, this light he knew deep down only he could see. He moved away from the door and reached out for the glow. When he did, that addictive feeling of warmth and comfort came back to him, making him sigh with contentment.
Then from the edges of his consciousness, the star whispered to his very soul…
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In the heart of the city, a lone bake sale stood
With the Dark Jack Lancer now your ally…
The power of soon selling cookies and over priced merch shines within you.
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Charwet LV2 -_-_-_-_-_- 000:12:15
Izuku's Room
︎Save -_-_-_-_-_- Return
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*DING!*
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Charwet LV2 -_-_-_-_-_- 001:18:30
Rouxls Puzzling Thrift Shopth
👓︎︎Save -_-_-_-_-_- Return
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Bakugo Residency
"I'm home," announced Katsuki, closing the door behind him as he took off his shoes.
"Welcome back Katski!" replied his mom from another room, "We're over in the living room."
His mind stirred at that, lazily making his way over to their living room to see his parents working on a sprawling pile of puzzle pieces. It didn't look like anything at the moment, just a mess of pieces randomly connected along the coffee table. He leaned against the wall as he gruffly asked, "The hell are you two geezers working on now?"
His dad turned to look at him, giving a beaming smile as he lifted the puzzle box. "Well me and your mother were at Ice-E's Pezza for our lunch break when we saw this adorable duck puzzle that we just had to try."
"It was just him, but I don't mind helping with his 'exciting' hobbies," interjected his mom with a playful shrug.
"And you caught us at just the right time. We just started a few minutes ago if you want to join us? It's only five thousand pieces," asked his dad, peeling his gaze away at the sight of their last missing corner piece.
"Nah you two go ahead, I'm beat. Not to mention I still need to study for some stupid easy test tomorrow," he countered, beginning to walk past them over to his room.
"Nice shirt."
He stopped halfway to his room, turning to look at his mother confused. "What?"
"Don't be a fucking jackass Katski, I just said nice shirt," chirped his mother again, a small vein pulsing on her forehead.
"Honey, language…" whispered Masaru into her ear.
"Ugh, fiiiine," groaned Mitsuki in frustration at the realization, reaching over to her purse to pull out money for their swear jar. It was labeled 'Currently half-', but the next word seemed to be two different words that were sporadically crossed out all over the label.
Yet Katsuki wasn't paying attention to the jar, only looking down at his shirt as the events from earlier this morning replayed in his mind. His father saw the foreign look on his face and gave a knowing smile to Mitsuki, lightly nudging her as she too smiled as she saw the same thing he did. "Who gave you that shirt son?" asked Masaru, resting his chin casually on his palm.
Katsuki snapped out of his daze to see both his folks giving him some disturbing looks. "H-hey what's with the shit eating grins!?" shouted the boy, turning away in shame at his accidental stutter.
His mother gave a mischievous smirk as she got up from the couch to get closer to her reddening son. "Come ooon Katski," she teased, ruffling his hair, "Are you gonna tell your mama the truth or do I need to get a confession out of you?"
The teen huffed back, pulling away from his mothers touch with crossed arms. "It was no one! Stop prying into my life you hag!" he shouted back, turning away from them as he stomped into his room, slamming the door behind him before diving into bed.
"I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm just… tired," he mentally repeated to himself. "If I just go to bed real quick, I'll be back to normal." He pulled out his phone to set an alarm, yet as he swiped by, he couldn't help but stare at the photos app. "I-i just wonder," he opened the app, "How far back do these pictures go…?"
Katsuki Bakugo then spent a long while looking and remembering the past fondly.
Entry Number 1703
"Mmmmmm!" I purr with satisfaction as I take another bite. "Mhmpf! Oh! My apologies Travelers, I did not realize that I was on," I apologize, quickly wiping my mouth and taking my legs off the table.
"Ahem, I assure you there is a reason why I am enjoying this… highly ironic treat," I pause, licking my lips clean of crumbs. "You see, made a simply divine batch of hazelnut chocolate chip cookies sprinkled with pink salt from the himalayas. I'm thankful that I was able to still get some, after all, I am the farthest from the kitchen so it's a miracle everyone else didn't kill the batch before it got to me. He should seriously take over as the labs chef is all I'll say to that."
"Oh, and I know what it looks like, but I promise there was no foul play! We've only had one agent enter the simulation since it began and I've made it crystal clear to them that they are to stay far, FAR AWAY from our prime subject… at least until the right time. I assure you, if they did so of their own volition, the whole experiment would be for nothing."
"Anyways, that's enough rambling from me. That shall be all travelers. Have a pleasant day," I say as I turn off for the day.
BONUS SCENE!
Later that night…
Izuku was up late working hard into the night on his sewing and photo cropping when he got a message on his phone.
Lancer: "Hey it's ah me, Lancer!
Just wanted to let you know my Dad said yes and to come as early as you want." texted Lancer, adding a cheeky tongue out emoji.
Izuku smiled as he typed back.
Izuku: "Great to hear! Address?"
Izuku barely waited a second before he got a reply.
Lancer: "Oh my gosh!" texted the boy, followed by five scared face emojis.
Lancer: "Here it is buddy.
572 NW Heats Flamesman St."
Izuku couldn't help but laugh at the now ten smiley face emojis that came with the message.
Izuku: "Thanks! But do you need all those faces?" texted Izuku, chuckling to himself as he sent a thinking emoji before closing his phone again to focus. He got a text right back, as he looked at the home screen
Lancer: "Yeah I know it's annoying, I wish I could use this as my emoji."
Lancer: Sent 1 Image.
"Hmm? A picture? Wonder what he sent," thought the teen out loud as he opened the messaging app.
Izuku regretted it immediately, deleting the picture from his end so he could erase it from his mind, but it was too late! That eerie picture was already seared into the very fabric of his brain!
Izuku shuddered as he put his phone down for the night. "I… that will haunt me for the rest of my days," he shivered at the memory. "Lancer with eyes is so… off putting, right Spamton?"
"IT SURE WAS! WHICH IS WHY I TOOK A PICTURE OF IT! FEAST YOU'RE [[ORBS]] ON THIS KIDDO!" spammed Spamton, as he spammed an unstoppable tide of THAT Lancer picture that completely blocked his vision.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" cried Izuku in dismay. This world truly was a very, very cruel place.
Editing Number: 7/27/2024- 7/27/2024