Chapter 246 – Storms Rage (long)

Elizabeth got to her room and leaned against the closed door. She was embarrassed that they had pushed the boundaries, but more so that Doug had caught them. As she stood there, she heard what Doug had said to Jack and felt even worse. She quickly moved away from the door after locking it. She walked to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face. As she stood there, leaning over the sink, she debated taking a shower.

Finally, she kicked off her shoes and socks as she pulled her shirt over her head. She finished getting undressed and jumped in a cool shower. She stood there for a few minutes thinking about things. She was going to have to apologize to Doug and to Jack. She knew that Jack was the one that had pushed, but she felt that there might have been more that she could have done to stop them. For as embarrassed as she was Doug caught them, she was glad that he did. She wasn't sure how much longer she would have been able to hold out. If Jack would have asked, she would have willingly given herself to him right there.

The longer that Elizabeth stood under the cool water calming her body, she realized that no matter how difficult or embarrassing it was, her and Jack needed to sit down and have a real conversation about what was acceptable for each of them without making life more difficult for either of them, at least for the next six weeks or so. She also realized how easily they could have crossed that line. She knew Jack's faith was important to him and the last thing that she wanted was to cause him to break a vow he had made to God. Especially not when he had kept it for six years and they were so close at that point.

Elizabeth finished up in the shower, towel dried and redressed. She then grabbed her journal and poured out everything that had happened that afternoon into her journal, having to stop and calm herself as she was getting excited just writing about what had happened.

As Elizabeth sat at the desk writing in her journal, she was lost in her own thoughts and feelings. So she was startled when there was a loud knock at the door. As she stopped and gathered herself again, she realized that the door was still locked.

"Just a moment." Elizabeth called.

She closed her journal, looked down to make sure she was properly dressed and then went to the door. She wasn't all that surprised to see Katie from security standing there.

Jack was embarrassed as he walked past Doug. He couldn't look him in the eye. As he headed to the gym, he could feel Doug's eyes watching him. Jack was trying not to think about what just happened, because his body was still on fire and he needed to calm down. What he needed was a release, but he knew that would be wrong and that would have to wait. Jack actually, physically groaned as he thought about the release that he wanted and so desperately needed. He knew it was wrong to do what he was thinking of and he hadn't done it since he signed his pledge to remain pure, but it hurt so bad and he knew that a release would feel so good.

Just stripping off his shirt, he sat on the bench in the shower with the ice cold water running over his body. He was doing everything in his power to think of something else to calm his body, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw Elizabeth and the look that she had given him when they were up against the wall. He was sure he could have pushed just a bit further and she would have willingly given it to him like Doug had said. For that Jack was ashamed. He felt like he had already sinned. He hung his head and leaned on his legs. He didn't realize that he was crying until he gasped for air.

Jack sat there crying, cold water running over his body, gasping for air. Despite the cold water, Jack still felt like his body was on fire and that was part of the reason that Jack was crying. He was physically in pain at that moment because he had pushed things too far and no matter how he tried, he couldn't get his body to calm down. Out of frustration, Jack let out a scream that was muffled by the running water, but not so much that Doug didn't hear it.

After he had gone back upstairs and spoke with Nathan and Gran for a moment, he had come back downstairs and was sitting in the sitting area down there in case either Jack or Elizabeth came out. He wanted to be there for both of them, but he didn't know how other than to just be there and pray while he waited.

Doug sat there praying when he heard Jack scream for a second time. That was when Doug decided he needed to go check on Jack.

"Gran called." Katie said. "She was worried. You have been locked down here in your room for almost two hours."

Elizabeth quickly looked at her phone and realized it was off. She then checked the clock and realized Katie was right.

"Sorry." Elizabeth said. "I took a shower and then was writing in my journal. I didn't even realize it had been that long."

"Well with your phone off." Katie said. "They were worried. Since I was down at the security office at the arena going over things for the show, I was asked to come check on you. Gran knows that you have talked to me about some things."

Elizabeth got a worried look on her face. Katie held up her hand.

"I did share what we have talked about." Katie said. "I have just documented that we have talked by phone a few times. It is a safety thing that Devin insisted on. That way no one can come back and try to accuse someone of something. Any time I am with you I document it. Not what is said, but that we talked, who else was around, where we were and if we talked in person or by phone."

"I can see that." Elizabeth said.

"So can I come in?" Katie asked.

Elizabeth stepped back and motioned for Katie to enter.

"So you want to talk about it?" Katie asked. "Doug didn't say much. He only told Gran that you and Jack each needed some time alone and apart."

Elizabeth blushed and ducked her head.

"First." Katie said. "I guess I should make sure you are okay."

"I am okay." Elizabeth said. "I followed Jack downstairs after lunch. He was standing in the hall with his back to me when I said we need to talk. He let out a frustrated sigh. So I walked in front of him. The next thing I know, Jack is kissing me, hard. He backed me up against the wall. He had slipped his hand under the hem of my shirt and was caressing the skin on the crown of my hip. If Doug wouldn't have come down when he did, I am not sure Jack and I would have not stopped."

"But you are okay?" Katie asked.

"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I took a cool shower and calmed down. I then grabbed my journal and started writing."

"How do you feel about what happened?" Katie asked.

"Mostly embarrassed at this point." Elizabeth said. "Embarrassed, we were caught. Embarrassed, we pushed it that far. I feel guilty for Jack almost breaking his vow to remain a virgin until his wedding. Embarrassed a bit about how Jack made me feel during that time. I shouldn't be having those thoughts about him or with him until after we are married. Embarrassed, I am going to be a disappointment to him on the wedding night."

"All normal feelings." Katie said. "But you now see why people don't leave you alone for too long. You saw how easy it was to throw all reason out the window. Thoughts are not wrong. You are deeply in love with Jack and share something special. The connection you will have after you fully give yourselves to each other is like no other. The adults in this house know how things are and that things happen. As it is, as long as you admit it, ask for forgiveness where needed, you won't be a disappointment. I promise you. Jack loves you and I am sure that he is worried about hurting you and maybe himself being a disappointment."

"Thank you." Elizabeth said.

"Anything else you want to talk about?" Katie asked. "Any questions about what you were experiencing?"

"No, I am good right now." Elizabeth said.

"Then I will leave you be." Katie said. "I would suggest that you come out of your room. Everyone is mostly upstairs. Father Mark, Doug, Jack and the twins were playing around with the piano. The others were on various electronic devices."

"Let me grab my laptop and cords." Elizabeth said. "Then I will head out."

"I will go back to my meeting and see you tomorrow." Katie said.

"Thank you." Elizabeth said.

"Anytime." Katie said.

Katie left, pulled the door mostly closed as she went through. Elizabeth sat there for a moment. She took a deep breath, went back to the desk, opened her journal and finished writing. She then grabbed her lap top and wedding prep book. She decided she couldn't hide in her room all day no matter how embarrassed she was. Elizabeth thought about what had happened and she knew that she needed to talk to Jack, but realized that she also needed to talk to Doug. She was grateful that he had been discreet and not shared what happened. She also realized again how easy it was to get carried away and forget about reason.

Doug got to the shower area and switched from his regular shoes to a pair of flip flops so he could safely walk in the shower area. He heard the water running and he heard Jack making some kind of grunting noise. He walked to the edge of the stall where Jack was, but stayed out of sight.

"Jack." Doug said. "Are you all right?"

Startled, Jack stood up and pounded the wall.

"I am fine, just leave me alone for a while." Jack said, his tone clear he was upset and in a mood.

"I heard you scream and wanted to check on you." Doug said. "I was downstairs here in the sitting area waiting for you. I just wanted to make sure that you weren't hurt."

"Sorry." Jack said. "Just so frustrated, I didn't know what else to do. I just need some more time and I want to be alone. I need to think and finish cooling off my mind and body."

"Then I will leave you alone." Doug said. "I will go upstairs, but if you aren't up there within the hour, I will be back."

"Fine." Jack said.

Jack, aware of his surroundings, heard Doug walk out of the shower area. As Jack heard Doug walk away, he slid to the floor and sat there with the water pouring over his head. Still frustrated, Jack closed his eyes for a moment and the image that popped into his head did little to calm his body. All he could think about was Elizabeth in the swimming pool, water running down her fit body and that swimming suit hugging all of her curves. Once again feeling the overwhelming need for release, Jack pounded the floor and groaned. The one thing that Jack knew would make him feel better was the one thing that he had been taught that he couldn't do. Again pounding the floor and groaning in frustration.

Jack couldn't believe that he had been sitting under the cold water for at least twenty minutes and his body still felt like it was on fire and it hurt so bad. His body hadn't calmed down at all and he wasn't sure how much longer he could take it. He was in physical pain and it wasn't from the ice cold water pouring over his head. Jack hung his head and once again tried to calm his body, but it wasn't working. The more that he tried, the less that it worked. Jack already felt guilty, so he was debating if going further would even matter.

Finally unable to take the growing pain that radiated from his lower region, he leaned his head back and sought relief. It only took a couple of minutes for Jack to feel relief from the release. As soon as his body calmed down, he was overwhelmed with guilt again. He stood up, finished stripping out of his clothes that were soaking wet. He then stood and let the water run over him. He washed and scrubbed his body raw as he felt dirty. He hadn't done that in years and he didn't want to do it again. He knew it was wrong, but he was at the point where he couldn't take the pain anymore. He knew that he was going to have to talk to Father Mark. But more than that, he also realized that he was going to have to have an open discussion with Elizabeth about things.

Yes, they would be married in six weeks, but he also realized that the next six weeks were going to be extremely difficult if they continued to push the boundaries. They needed to be clear with each other. It was one thing to hold hands and give each other a little kiss, but the way that they have been going about things was not working. It was like they were trying to push the other into breaking the rule that they said that they wouldn't. Jack felt so bad about what he had done, but he also knew what was done was done.

Once Jack had showered, he went and slipped on a pair of boxer briefs and his silk pair of lounge pants. He then towel dried his hair, gave his head a shake and ran his finger through it. It was sticking up in all kinds of directions, but he didn't care. Once that was done, Jack went back and picked up his dirty wet clothes and took them to the laundry room. Seeing that there was enough for a small load of workout clothes, he started the washer. He then went back to the gym, checked the temperature and saw it was still set low like he liked it, went and sat in his corner where there was exposed brick and concrete. He drew his knees up to his bare chest and dropped his head to them. He wrapped his arms around his head and let the rest of the tears fall.

Jack only knew a fraction of the reasons he was crying. He knew part of it was what he was feeling after what had happened and part of it was pure frustration with life. There was something deeper that he just couldn't put his finger on at the moment. Jack knew that he should get properly dressed and actually do something, but he just didn't have the drive to do it. He couldn't remember the last time he took a day to himself without being sick and even then he had done more than he had done that day. He knew that if he didn't come upstairs, Doug or someone else would come looking for him soon and that was fine with him.

While Jack and Elizabeth had been downstairs, the rest of the household had a fairly productive afternoon. Father Mark and the twins had spent most of the afternoon playing on the piano. They had enjoyed the time together and the girls were having fun talking to Father Mark about various things while one or the other played. Father Mark and Maddie had even played a few pieces together. She admitted it had been the most fun that she had playing the piano in a long time. Trish had been happy to see the smile on her daughter's face while she was playing. It had been something that had been missing for quite some time. She knew that her daughter played well, but couldn't help comparing herself with her twin sister.

Trish wondered if it was worse because they were twins and everyone expected them to be alike. She knew that they were different people and treated them like individuals. She started them on piano just as she had done with all her other kids. She didn't push them to do the same things, but they did have similar interests. They both liked art and drawing, but Maddie was better at it then Missy. Just as piano came easier to Missy then it did to Maddie. She wanted to encourage both of them to continue to try, just because she knew how much art and music helped kids to be able to learn other things.

Lee had had a productive time after lunch as well. He had been able to get some things done on the computer for his father and look up other stuff he had wanted to check out. He had also had a nice conversation with his mother and even though he sort of understood why she had wanted to spend time with him, he reminded her that he had promised to be there for Jack and have his back. His mother felt better when he promised to come back a week before orientation and spend it at home. What Lee didn't tell her was that he and Doug had already talked about things and had decided to head back to the city as soon as Jack left for his honeymoon. Lee wasn't sure what was going to happen to Nathan or if Jack and Elizabeth were coming back to the farm before heading to the city.

All he knew was that he and Doug were going to head back. The original plan once Jack had agreed to jump was to head back the weekend before orientation and immediately settle in the apartment. Granted Lee had thought they would only be there through the Fourth of July, but he didn't mind. He loved being out of the city even if he never got into the jumping. He liked to watch and support his friends. It wasn't like he didn't ride at all.

Frank had a productive time as well. He was able to get three letters written. He was also able to call an Army buddy and check in with him. After Frank had gotten off the phone, he had a lovely conversation with Gran and Trish about the history of the ranch and just got to know them more. Gran actually told Frank that he reminded her of her son Christopher. Gran then told him more about Christopher. Frank knew that if they did come for the show, he would have to make a point to sit down with him. Trish also asked about fireworks and if Frank was okay with them. She knew some vets and even cops struggled with the noise. Frank assured them that he would be fine with the fireworks and if it did get to him, he had headphones he could use. Trish felt better about the fireworks after they had spoken. Gran apologized for not even thinking about that.

Nathan was also able to talk to people. It had started with a phone call to his sister, but then little Allie wanted to get on the phone, but she did better with a facetime where she could see the person that she was talking to, so Nathan set up his tablet and did a facetime call to Allie. She was so happy to see her uncle.

("Miss you Unca Nate." Allie said.")

"I miss you too, Allie girl." Nathan said. "Are you being good for your Mommy?"

Allie nodded her head. She then started showing Nathan the new toys that she had gotten.

"Where did you get those?" Nathan asked.

("Mommy." Allie said.)

"Fun." Nathan said. "What else have you been up to?"

("Skool." Allie said.)

"You have been getting ready for school this fall." Nathan said.

("Uh, huh." Allie said.)

"That is good." Nathan said. "Let me talk to Mommy again."

Allie took the tablet over to Colleen and then waved bye to Nathan.

"Talk to me." Nathan said.

Colleen walked away where she could still see Allie, but talk more privately. She told Nathan that Dylan had gotten out and Nathan only nodded. Colleen took that as he already knew. She then told Nathan that Dylan had been by a couple of times. He had only been up to the apartment once, but he had been outside watching. Colleen was afraid to go anywhere and every time that she called the cops, Dylan was gone by the time that they had gotten there so there was nothing that they could do. She was scared that Dylan was going to try something and hurt her or even take Allie.

Nathan was scared for his sister and niece. He also felt torn as to what to do. He suggested that Colleen pack up some things and head over to his apartment for a while, but make sure that she wasn't followed. He would have to talk to the landlord and get the new key, but he would call him if that was something that Colleen wanted to do. She told Nathan that she didn't feel comfortable doing that because she didn't want to burn that as a last resort. Nathan and Colleen talked about a few other things and then hung up. After getting off the facetime call with his sister, Nathan hung his head. He eventually propped his head up on his elbows. He felt that he needed to be there to protect them, but at the same time, he felt he needed to do the job that he had been hired to do. Jack had actually become a friend and he knew that there were few people that Jack trusted so the fact that Nathan was one of them was serious.

Nathan sat there for a few minutes until he felt a hand on his back. He glanced over and saw that it was Gran. Nathan took a deep breath and then turned his head to look at Gran.

"Everything okay?" Gran asked. "I am sorry, I couldn't help overhear."

"My idiot brother-in-law is causing trouble." Nathan said. "My sister kicked him out and is in the process of getting a divorce. He had been harassing her. She is scared to leave the apartment. She said she has called the cops, but there is nothing that they can do because he is gone by the time that the police show up. She is trying to keep things as normal as possible for my three year old niece, but I can tell that Allie knows that something is up. She just might not have the words to express what is going on. She is very smart for three. She knows when things are not right."

"What do you need?" Gran asked, going into protection mode. "We can get them out of there. We have connections and could put them in a different apartment, a secure apartment. Jack owns several buildings. So does John. If she wants to get out of the city, we can arrange to bring her up here for a bit. We will find the room."

"I am working." Nathan said.

"And they are family." Gran said. "You are family to Jack, so therefore if someone is important to you, they are important to us."

"Let me think about it." Nathan said. "I don't know if Colleen is going to want to leave the city."

Gran looked at Trish.

"Already on it." Trish said. "I texted Devin. He said he will have two guys sit on the place, but that Nathan should give Colleen a heads up, he already has the address and is working on getting people there."

"Thank you." Nathan said. "I will text Colleen and then call Devin."

"Sounds good." Gran said. "You let me know if there is anything that you need for either you or them. If you need to leave, we won't hold it against you. Family first. It was what we live by. It is family first until you betray that. That is why my daughter and son-in-law are where they are right now. You saw what they did and that is not the whole of it. The important part is Jack trusts you and as long as that is the case, you are family to me."

"Again, thank you." Nathan said. "I think that Colleen is going to have trouble with Dylan. He may be Allie's father, but he is nothing to me. He doesn't love Allie, he didn't even want to sign the birth certificate since he claimed that Allie wasn't his. He is into some bad things and I think that Colleen is finally waking up to that. I just don't think that he is going to let her go so easily. He might not want Allie, but he does want control and up until a month or two ago, he had been pretty good at controlling Colleen with fear."

"Devin's guys will take care of her." Trish said. "When my James gets here later tonight, sit down and have a conversation with him. Maybe he knows something more that can be done. But at this moment, you need to call your sister and let her know that she will be safe. Then call Devin."

Nathan nodded. He got up from the table and walked out the back door. Despite the rain and thunder, he stood under the covered part of the porch and made his calls. The other call that he made was to Major Thompson. Before, Nathan would have called Gabe, but at the moment he wasn't sure if he could trust him to do the right thing when it came to Allie and Colleen.