Chapter 276 – Wednesday Night Drama (long)
When Father Mark got to the library, he looked at Nathan who had immediately gone to one of the kneelers and bowed his head. Father Mark pulled the doors shut and said a quick prayer. He realized that whatever was bothering Nathan was weighing heavy on his heart. Father Mark wondered what the young man had exactly been through. He knew that Nathan had been physically abused by his father, but he wondered if there wasn't more to the story. He had barely gotten Nathan to admit that his father had hit him, so he knew that he had to tread lightly. Father Mark prayed for strength and also prayed for healing for Nathan.
Slowly Father Mark walked toward Nathan and took a seat on the couch. After a few minutes, Nathan turned and sat on the kneeler, his head hung. He refused to look at Father Mark.
"Nathan." Father Mark said. "Please look at me."
Slowly, Nathan brought his head up and looked at Father Mark. Before either of them were able to speak, there was a knock at the door. Father Mark got up and got the tray. He closed the door and brought the tray of water and glasses back to the coffee table. He then sat back down and looked at Nathan again.
"It can't be that bad." Father Mark said. "Just talk to me. I told you nothing you tell me will change the way that I see you."
"I … um …." Nathan stammered.
He then took a deep breath and slowly blew it out.
"I am attracted to your sister." Nathan said. "But part of me is afraid you will think me unworthy of her and part of me is afraid to open my heart to love again."
"Okay." Father Mark said. "First of all, I already realized that you probably liked Emily. I have no problem with it as long as you both go slow and get to know each other."
Nathan stared at Father Mark with his mouth agape.
"Don't look at me like that." Father Mark said. "I may be a priest, but I am not blind. I can see when someone is attracted to another person."
Still a bit shocked that he had figured it out, Nathan just nodded his head he understood.
"So tell me." Father Mark said. "Why would you be unworthy of my sister?"
"Because of my past." Nathan said.
"What about your past makes you think you are unworthy?" Father Mark asked.
"I am not a virgin." Nathan said, softly.
Father Mark took a deep breath and chose his words carefully.
"And neither is she." Father Mark said. "I know that Jack, Doug and Lee are not representative of young people as a whole. I know that it is becoming more popular among young people but it is not an easy commitment to make and I understand that. I also know that things happen and mistakes are made. So, if that is the only reason that you feel unworthy, then please reconsider.
Again, Nathan just nodded.
"So why are you afraid to open your heart?" Father Mark asked. "Obviously something happened. Help me understand. Did something else happen growing up or is it more recently?"
Nathan relayed the story he had told Frank. Father Mark just listened as he saw Nathan struggle with the memories. He knew better than to interrupt when someone was sharing their story. He did make a few mental notes of a couple questions he wanted to ask.
Frank had finished up in the garage and came back in. He then took the tray to the library like Father Mark had asked. Everyone was finishing up when Gran made a cup of tea. She went to sit with her husband. Trish made herself a cup of tea as well and joined the group at the table. Lee finished up things and was playing on the laptop. The girls had already headed down. Jack and Doug were going back and forth over the music. Frank had also gone over there to see what Jack and Doug were bantering back and forth about.
Emily reluctantly joined the group at the table. She looked between her grandparents and then over at her cousin and his friends. She was feeling very left out. She wondered why they weren't making an effort to entertain her.
Trish noticed that Emily seemed unhappy, but wasn't sure if she wanted to even open the door to find out what was going on. It was Lee who actually spoke.
"Trish." Lee said.
"Yes." Trish said.
"Will the Chief be here tomorrow or Friday?" Lee asked.
"He is driving up on Friday morning." Trish said. "I think he will be here by lunch time. Why?"
"Just trying to work out who is going to be where." Lee said. "I have made a spreadsheet of where people are going to be at different times and when people need to know that they are to be in a certain place."
"That is a good idea." James said, looking up from the papers.
"I just know that Jack does better with a set schedule." Lee said. "With so many moving parts, I figured it would help all of us."
"I like that." James said.
James went back to his paperwork and Gran looked at some of the pieces he had in front of him.
"Anything I should be worried about?" Gran asked.
James shook his head, but did push a few pieces of paper toward her.
"Gran." Emily said. "Why is everyone ignoring me?"
"They aren't ignoring you." Gran said. "We didn't know that you were coming. Nathan needed to talk to Father Mark. The boys have a show to get ready for and other plans they need to take care of."
"The girls are also on a schedule." Trish said. "They have a strict bedtime unless we are traveling. This is not a vacation for them. They are still doing school and they are also working with the horses everyday. Besides that, we are here to entertain anyone. There is work to do and we have things to accomplish. You are an adult. You should be able to keep yourself busy without getting into trouble."
Trish finished her tea and put her cup in the dishwasher. She then came back over to the table.
"What time are you planning for in the morning?" Trish asked.
"Jack and them will up and out with the horses by six." Lee said, without looking up.
"I will be down shortly about that time." Trish said. "I assume that it will be breakfast afterwards."
"Depends." Gran said. "But we will start with backing after they eat."
"See you in the morning." Trish said.
"Thank you for all your help." James said. "If you run into town, please let me know, I might need a few things."
"I will make sure to check with you before anyone goes to town." Trish said.
James nodded as he was reading. Trish headed up to her room. Emily just kind of sat at the table and pouted. Lee finished up his stuff, said goodnight and headed downstairs.
When Nathan was done talking, he drew his knees up and dropped his head. He was embarrassed he was crying again.
"I am sorry that happened to you." Father Mark said. "Did you plan to sleep with her? What is consensual?"
Nathan's head shot up and he was ready to defend himself. Father Mark saw the fire in Nathan's eyes and held up his hand to stop Nathan. He realized that he hadn't asked the question right and needed to clarify.
"I know you well enough to know that you would never force yourself on a woman." Father Mark said. "But maybe she pushed you and you gave in because you thought it was what was expected of you."
"I had always planned on waiting." Nathan said. "Now that you say it and I am thinking about things again, she really did push for us to be together. I had been good about putting the brakes on when she was starting things and also not being in situations where things could go too far. So she took to pushing boundaries in public when I think about it."
"What do you mean?" Father Mark asked.
"Caressing my leg when she was sitting next to me." Nathan said. "One time we were at the movies and she started rubbing me, trying to get me excited while we were at the theater. I removed her hand and told her that it wasn't the time or place for that to happen."
"How long was this before that night?" Father Mark asked.
"Maybe a few days." Nathan said.
"So what happened that night? Father Mark said.
"She had wanted to stay in and not go out." Nathan said. "She even offered to cook while I studied. She made a nice meal for the two of us. Afterwards, she begged to stay and watch a movie. I honestly don't remember agreeing, but the next thing I remember was being on the couch. I remember kissing her and telling her we should stop, but not much more. I woke up the next morning to both of us naked in my bed and her thanking me for a wonderful night."
"Does that sound right to you?" Father Mark asked.
"Now that I am thinking about it and telling someone else." Nathan said. "No, it doesn't sound right."
"Sounds like she might have slipped you something." Father Mark said. "Sounds like she was using you. Again, I am sorry that happened to you. It however doesn't make you unworthy or less worthy of love now or in the future. She took something from you that wasn't hers to take and that is wrong. You don't need to feel bad about that, it sounds like you weren't in control of what happened."
"I still feel bad." Nathan said.
"And that is okay." Father Mark said. "It is because you have such a good heart. But you need to forgive yourself. You had no control that night and couldn't stop what happened. What you can do is learn from it."
"Okay." Nathan said.
"I have no problem with you being with my sister." Father Mark said. "I just caution you to be careful and slow down. Take time to get to know her and let her get to know you. I don't want to see you get hurt."
Nathan looked at Father Mark questioningly.
"Don't get me wrong." Father Mark said. "I love my sister and want the best for her. But that said, she can be impulsive. Also right now, she is acting strangely. To me she is acting out of character and I can't figure what she is up to.
She packed up and left for California the day after her eighteenth birthday and has been back for less than two months total in the last eight years. So for her to pack up, drive cross country and come, well something is up. She claims to now know what was going on with Jack and Elizabeth, but part of her job in California was to know what was going on in social media. So until we know more about why she is back, I just want you to be careful."
"Okay." Nathan said. "I don't want to do anything to ruin the friendships I have with you or Jack."
"I understand that." Father Mark said. "I have no problem with it and neither will Jack if it is meant to be. But for now, just be yourself and try to get to know her."
"Okay, I will." Nathan said.
"Is that why you were upset before?" Father Mark asked.
Nathan nodded.
"The friendships that I have built here are important to me." Nathan said. "I have never had an easy time making friends. I know part of it is because of the way I grew up. But I feel I have made real connections here and I don't want to risk losing that."
"I am glad you see Jack as a real friend." Father Mark said. "You are what Jack needs and frankly what Doug needs as well. You are that big brother that they need. Yes, I know that Doug actually has a big brother, but they have never been close or really ever gotten along. It only got worse when Doug started spending more and more time with Jack. I don't know if he was jealous of the things that Doug got to do with Jack or what. It wasn't like his family couldn't have done the same things and I know that my grandparents would have gladly invited Doug and Lee's siblings up here if that was something that they wanted. They never had a problem including their grandchildren's friends when we did stuff. I think that is why all of us grandchildren had friends who rode with us for at least a time."
"Oh." Nathan said. "I thought there might be some friction there with the way that Doug spoke about his brother after the charity banquet, but I also didn't want to push. It is nice to hear that your grandparents cared enough to include your friends."
"Doug will share when he wants." Father Mark said. "When he talks about his family, it is mostly his parents and little sisters."
"I gathered that." Nathan said. "Honestly, I am not worried so much about them sharing their pasts. Doug did fill me in on some of the history with Jack, Lee and him and that helped. I am more interested in getting to know them now as they become adults. Though it seems like they have been making adult decisions for some time."
"Good way to look at it and I know what you mean." Father Mark said. "They have all experienced change over the last several months. Yes, Jack has had the most change. Yet any change with Jack affects the other two. Just as any changes with Doug or Lee affect the other two as well. It is because they are all so close."
"I know what you mean." Nathan said. "I have a twin and I have never seen people closer. Which is another reason I feel grateful to be accepted into the group."
"I agree." Father Mark said. "Even Trish has said that the boys are as close if not more than the twins. She even admits that she has never seen a group of people closer than the three boys. She was also surprised about how much they share with each other. She said even the twins don't always share everything. Yet it seems like the three guys share everything. It might not be right away but they usually know before others. They also understand that there will be business things that can't be shared in the future, but so far it hasn't stopped them from sharing everything else. There are no secrets between those three where it counts."
"I am seeing that." Nathan said.
"Are you feeling better?" Father Mark asked.
Nathan nodded.
"Good." Father Mark said. "It has been a long day and we all have another one tomorrow."
"Night prayers?" Nathan asked.
"Let me see what the other guys are doing?" Father Mark said. "But yes, you are always more than welcome to join me in prayers."
Father Mark stood up and helped Nathan to stand. Father Mark picked up the try and took it to the kitchen. That was when he realized that everyone had turned in or gone downstairs. Nathan stepped out of the library and looked downstairs and knew that the TV was on. He then went to the kitchen. Father Mark cleaned up the tray and then turned to see Nathan standing there.
"Prayers in the library?" Father Mark said. "I have a feeling almost everyone else is sleeping."
"I agree." Nathan said. "The TV is on downstairs, but I think it might be Emily. Looking at the time, I am sure that Jack and Doug are sleeping."
The pair went to the library. Father Mark grabbed his prayer book and set it on one of the kneelers. He grabbed his extra copy from the shelf, found the right page and gave it to Nathan. He then lit the candles on the small makeshift altar they had set up. Father Mark then led the two of them through the evening and night prayers. When they had finished those, they said prayers for Jack, Elizabeth, and everyone else in the house. Father Mark also said special prayers for Nathan and prayed for his continued healing. When they were done, they took a few moments and prayed silently.
When they were done, they made sure that the candles were out as well as the lights turned off and then headed downstairs. When they got there, it was only Emily in the sitting area. Neither were surprised that everyone else was in bed. Nathan nodded to Emily, without saying anything and went to his room. Father Mark took a seat next to his sister. She sighed because she knew he wanted answers, but she wasn't in the mood. Father Mark wasn't going to let her off the hook, he was going to get to the bottom of things.
"So what are you doing, it is late?" Father Mark said.
"It is not late." Emily said. "Why did everyone turn in so early?"
"Because they are up and out to deal with horses by six." Father Mark said. "There is also a ton of work to do tomorrow to get everything set up for the show. Then there is the show this weekend and five of them will be jumping this weekend as well."
"Oh." Emily said. "This is boring. I wanted to go into town and go out, but Grandpa said I couldn't go into town alone and no one wanted to go with me. Even though Gran gave me my phone back, she won't give me the wi-fi password and I don't have enough data to be online all the time. I said it was unfair, but she said something about earning the privilege and it wasn't a right just because I was here."
"There are rules to being here." Father Mark said. "A lot of people have worked really hard to keep Jack and Elizabeth safe and by extension, everyone else. Do you understand that?"
"If he was so worried about safety." Emily said. "Getting involved with another man's woman was stupid."
"Emily Louise!" Father Mark said, sharply.
"What?!" Emily said.
Father Mark stood up and glared at his sister.
"I don't ever want to hear you say that again." Father Mark said. "You have no idea what you are talking about. Elizabeth was physically assaulted by a young man who refused to take no as an answer. He then threatened Jack and Doug when they stepped in to help. This guy has made at least one attempt to kidnap Elizabeth since then. He is stupid enough to believe that dragging her and Jack's names through the mud will break them up. Well he is wrong and he is only pushing them closer together. It is also showing who is worthy and who can be left behind."
"Jeez." Emily said. "No need to get mad."
"I have every right to get mad." Father Mark said. "I have seen the pain this young man has put Jack and Elizabeth through. I have seen the pain that Jack had been in trying to figure out the best way to keep everyone safe. I have seen the longing in their eyes to want to go out and not be hassled by everyone. I have heard them repeatedly say, they just want their private life to be private. So, if your attitude is not different by morning, you will not be here."
Father Mark turned and took two steps, but then stopped. He turned and looked at his sister again.
"Trust me when I say it is a very bad idea to cross Jack right now." Father Mark said. "And it is an even worse idea to talk bad about Elizabeth or do anything that would put people in danger."
He then took a deep breath and pointed at the TV.
"Don't stay up too late." Father Mark said. "Goodnight."
Father Mark then walked down the hall. He got to Jack's room and let out a harsh breath before counting to ten to calm down. He then went in and got ready for bed. Before crawling into bed, he knelt at the edge of the bed and prayed again. He hadn't meant to get upset at his sister, but she proved she knew more than she had let on. He wondered if she came back to get information about Jack and Elizabeth. He knew that he was going to have to talk to Jack about it, but at the moment he needed to sleep. He also knew that there was nothing that they could do that night, so there was no point in waking Jack.