Edited: June 2024
20
There were only seven of them. It irked Talia that she'd had to wade through acres of swamp water and battle hordes of undead only to recover seven minor members of the Inquisition. Still, it was better than nothing.
When she had opened the door to their cell, she found them all huddled together, pale and weary, but otherwise, unharmed. They looked surprised to see her, and one of the younger ones even burst into tears at the sight of their savior. Felix checked them over for any injuries while Blackwall swept around the area to take care of any stragglers. Some of them recoiled from the mage's touch and Talia had to stop herself from sighing in annoyance.
She was certainly hoping they weren't as useless as they appeared.
There were two older ones who seemed to be the backbone of the group, one female soldier and one male scout. The woman was worse off than the rest, sporting a bruised face and a dislocated shoulder. Talia had heard that she'd tried protecting the others in the group.
The Hand of Korth hadn't been particularly difficult to dispose of. It had taken one paralyzing rune and he had gone down faster than a crumbling ruin. Blackwall blinked in surprise when the Avvar froze in his steps, but he recovered quickly enough to swing his broadsword and decapitate him. To remove any suspicions from her, she had beamed at Felix.
"Thank you for casting that spell. Made things so much easier," she said with a grin.
Felix had given her a confused look that quickly morphed into understanding. Still, his "You're welcome" sounded a tad bit sardonic.
With the torrential downpour and muddy paths, it was a miracle that they reached the Hinterlands a day earlier than they expected.
The group set their camp on the outskirts of the Hinterlands, just past the borders of the Fallow Mire. Harding had proposed that it was a better to meet them there instead of sneaking around in the Crossroads. There was no sign of them when they arrived, but Talia was hopeful that they'd be there the following day.
Talia and Felix double-checked their map and walked around the clearing to make sure they were some distance away from any Inquisition other camps. On their way back, Felix stumbled, and Talia only just managed to catch him.
"Felix!" she exclaimed. "Are you all right?"
"I—," He blinked. "I'm fine?" The mage looked groggy and dazed.
"We should head back to camp." She furrowed her brow in concern. "Can you walk?"
"I—I think so."
Talia supported him the rest of the way back. When they reached the edge of the clearing, Blackwall looked up from where he and the crew were setting up a tent. Upon seeing them, a look of alarm crossed his face, and he immediately made his way towards them, sword half-drawn.
"We weren't attacked." Talia explained before the Warden could ask. "But Felix needs to lie down. Is there a tent we can use?"
"I'm fine, just a bit tired," Felix said weakly.
Blackwall nodded and sheathed his sword. For a moment, Talia was bemused when he held out his arms.
"My lady Herald, let me carry him for you."
"Oh, it's all right, Blackwall. Just tell me where—,"
"I insist."
The man was chivalry incarnated, and Talia resisted sighing before passing Felix onto the warden.
"I can walk, you know," the mage muttered.
Both Blackwall and Talia ignored him.
One of the scouts—she would make an effort to memorize their names later on—saluted and wordlessly led them to one of larger tents. Blackwall gently deposited Felix onto one of the bedrolls.
"I can take it from here, Blackwall. Can you please organize and set up watch?"
"Of course, Herald," he responded gravely and exited the tent.
"I'm fine, really. Just a bit dizzy," Felix groaned and cradled his head in his hands.
Talia frowned. "We should get you out of those wet clothes. Here." She handed him a dry shirt she found in his pack.
The mage attempted to sit up, but fell back down with a groan.
Kneeling beside him, Talia cast a warming charm to help with the chill. "Do you need help changing?" she asked kindly.
Felix looked at her uncertainly, as if thinking of ways to get out of it but couldn't. It took a while, but he eventually nodded his assent.
To minimize any discomfort the man may feel, Talia kept her touches firm and methodical. However, as they finally managed to remove his shirt, she was taken aback by what she saw. Her eyes looked up to meet Felix's, but he kept his head down, unwilling to meet her gaze.
There was a small, thin scar on the man's lower stomach, and by itself, Talia wouldn't have given it a second glance. But there were dozens of jagged black lines branching out from the old wound.
"It only takes a speck of darkspawn blood coming in contact with your skin to contract Taint," he said quietly. "A small cut with a Tainted blade is a death sentence."
Both were silent for a moment before Talia spoke.
"Felix. We have Blackwall with us, and when we find the Dragonborn—,"
"Don't." His harsh tone was unlike anything she'd ever heard from him. "Just..." He breathed in deeply. "I need to be alone for a while."
Talia felt a pang of sadness for the man, but she respected his wishes. She helped him into his shirt and laid him gently back onto the bedroll. Just before she left the tent, the dunmer cast a ward around the entrance to ensure that he was undisturbed for the rest of the night.
Blackwall was sitting by the fire, and he immediately stood to greet her when she approached. She waved him down and took a seat across him.
"Is Felix all right, my lady?" He asked as he passed her the stew the scouts managed to scrounge up.
"No." She sighed. "He hasn't for quite some time now."
"He's sick then?"
Talia looked over at Blackwall as she considered her response. The man had been nothing but an asset since his addition to their company. He supplied the needed muscle that neither Talia nor Felix could provide for their team. Apart from this, he accepted Talia's leadership without question; he followed her orders, and provided helpful insights to aid in their journey. Being around him wasn't as easy as spending time with Felix, but she never had to pretend to be nicer than she actually was.
The only problem that Talia had with the man was that he was very guarded.
On few occasions, Talia tried engaging Blackwall in small talk, and he only gave her the very basics of his life: he was a Warden, he'd had no contact with the Free Marcher Wardens in a while, save for sending them the men he manages to recruit, and that he's never met Savith Stormcrown.
Other than that, the man wouldn't speak of it. She tried to ask him about his family, and what he did before joining the Grey Wardens, but he simply gave her a grave look and told her that wardens left their past behind them after joining.
Both Talia and Felix decided not to tell Blackwall about their trip back in time and about her true origins. He was definitely reliable in terms of combat, but they didn't know enough about him to truly trust him. She had sent Leliana a letter to ask her to look into Blackwall. He could be a planted agent for all they knew, and until she received a reply, the man would have to be kept in the dark about many of their plans.
Still, he was the only person around that Talia could ask about the Taint. And if there was even the smallest chance he knew some way to save Felix, she would take it.
"Felix is...Tainted," she said hesitantly.
Blackwall visibly stiffened at this news. "How long?"
"I don't know...though I've heard that the wardens are the most knowledgeable about the Taint?" She made her tone sound innocent and hopeful.
"My lady..."
"You can call me, Talia, you know?"
"My lady Talia," he amended, and gave an uncharacteristic grin as she leveled him with an unimpressed look. His face turned grave again as he spoke, "There is no cure for the Taint."
"But some Tainted men survive to become Grey Wardens. How is that possible if there is no cure?"
"I cannot answer that, my lady." He wouldn't meet her eyes.
"Why not?" she pressed.
"I am bound by my oath as a warden."
Perhaps a little acting was needed. She affected a hurt and incredulous tone. "My friend is dying; he's in pain, and you won't even tell how I can save him?"
The man grimaced, but said nothing.
Hmmm. Perhaps she needed to twist the knife. "And here I thought Wardens were men of integrity."
Blackwall flinched and looked as if she'd slapped him.
There was an uncomfortable silence as Talia looked away and pretended to be upset. Interesting. He didn't look angry, but he had paled drastically. She was surprised at the severity of his reaction, and after counting to ten, and letting Blackwall stew in silence, she spoke hesitantly.
"Blackwall, I..." She sighed. "I apologize. That was out of line." She reached out to touch his hand, and cast a mild calm spell.
The warden relaxed and rubbed the back of his neck before nodding. "I understand. You are...distraught." He was quiet for a moment before he hesitantly said, "I cannot help you because I don't know, my lady. I never bothered to learn much about the Taint."
He looked away from her gaze, and Talia sensed that he was telling the truth. But there was something in his tone...was that guilt?
"Still," Talia sighed. "I shouldn't have. I didn't mean to take it out on you. I suppose I was just hoping you'd be the answer to all my problems." She looked at him earnestly, and he flushed before glancing away.
"I deeply regret that I can't be of any more help, my lady."
"It's all right, Blackwall." It wasn't, really; she'd been hoping he'd be able to tell her more about the Taint.
Later that night, when Blackwall insisted that Talia should rest, she silently entered her shared tent with Felix. The man was restless in his sleep, and there was a light sheen of sweat on his forehead.
She kneeled by his side and cast a mild calm spell, only letting it up when he stopped tossing and turning, and his expression smoothened.
Talia wanted to help him; she wanted to study the Taint, find a cure, and set him free from this illness. She wanted to save him, but even she knew she didn't have the resources to do so. But she knew who did. She only hoped Savith Stormcrown would be cooperative.
Sadrith Mora was just as Talia remembered it—breathtaking, if not a bit overwhelming. The last time she was there, her father had brought her with him during one of his negotiations with House Telvanni, calling it an "educational experience". The sight of so many dunmer brought a pang of homesickness. After her impulsive decision to run away, she'd never gone back to Morrowind. And now, it wasn't likely she'd ever have another chance.
Still, it was strange that out of all the places in Morrowind she could dream of, it was this place. At least she was consciously aware of where she was now, unlike the previous times she'd ended up in the Fade.
Over the past few days, Talia made a conscious effort in strengthening her mind from illusions conjured by the Fade. While she couldn't manipulate the place, she'd at least achieved coherence, in that she could immediately recognize differences between the Fade and the Waking World.
She strolled around the public market, basking in the heat of the day. The Fade had sought to dress her in robes befitting a member of House Indoril. Various stall owners greeted her politely as she passed by, eyeing the different items in selection.
"Greetings, sera! Can I interest you in some trinkets?" A relatively older jeweler called out to her, and she smiled before approaching his stall.
"Hello. What do you have?"
"A member of House Indoril, sera? I have just the thing!" He pulled out an amulet, inlaid with intricate silver swirls and formed to shape two wings, intersecting. In between, a circular indigo gem, the color of House Indoril.
Talia cocked her head to the side as she inspected both the necklace and the shop owner. What were they? Spirits that assimilate based on her memories? Or simply projections her mind creates?
As she opened her mouth to ask the jeweler a question, she felt it—a subtle shift in the Fade, more like a twinge, and she was not at all surprised when she heard a voice behind her.
"Such beautiful craftsmanship." A slim hand reached out and plucked the amulet from her fingers.
Talia's lips thinned in annoyance before she turned to face the elvhen god.
Fen'Harel was dressed in the robes she'd last seen him in, and the wolf mask that covered half his face was still firmly in place.
"What is it, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Done licking your wounds?" She asked instead, and Talia had the impression that Fen'Harel had raised his eyebrows at her.
"You look resplendent in those robes. I must say, indigo suits you."
At this, Talia rolled her eyes and walked off. The elvhen god simply followed as she made her way to the harbor. The smell of the sea and the view of the sun sinking in the sky calmed her somewhat. She couldn't lose control of her emotions in a place such as the Fade, especially when she had no idea what to expect.
"Is this conversation going to consist of us sidestepping each other's questions?"
"What do you think?"
"I'm not entirely certain if it's something you've studied in your youth, but it seems you've mastered the art of being infuriating and vague down to the letter." Talia crossed her arms in front of her chest, resolutely keeping her eyes on the horizon.
To her surprise, Fen'Harel let out a small chuckle. "Indeed, perhaps I have…indulged in that branch of study when I was younger."
"What do you want, Fen'Harel?" she said shortly. He was attempting to lower her guard and Talia did not appreciate it.
He was quiet for a moment as both of them stared out into the sea.
"I believe our last conversation was…interrupted."
"Do you mean the time you accosted me, and my Lady overpowered you and pushed you out of the Fade forcibly?" Talia replied flatly.
"I was not overpowered. The ravens caught me off guard." He sounded defensive. "And I hardly accosted you. I was simply fascinated by you, especially your reactions to me. And the display I saw in the Fade, you in your mage robes, teaching a hall full of students. There is no such precedent in the South. And you are clearly not from Tevinter or Par Vollen."
He turned to gaze at her as he spoke. "So tell me, Talia Indoril, who are you? And where are you from?"
Talia let out a derisive laugh. "Do you honestly believe I'd tell you?"
"One can only hope," he replied lightly. "I've at least ascertained that you are not of this world," he continued. Talia kept her expression impassive. "Somehow, you've broken the very barrier of the Fade, and traversed worlds. It is unheard of."
"Surely you didn't think you'd already amassed every bit of knowledge this universe has to offer? Or are you truly that prideful?"
Fen'Harel didn't so much as jerk as he did twitch, but Talia noticed.
"Oh, did I hit a nerve?" she asked innocently.
"You play a dangerous game, da'len." His tone grew colder.
"Remind me, which one of us is actually toying with the lives of mortals here? I do not believe it is me. But I digress." She turned to glare at him. "What. Do. You. Want?"
"You are a mystery, Talia Indoril, one that I will unravel, given more time."
Talia couldn't contain her scoff.
Fen'Harel turned to her sharply. "Is it so wrong? Wishing to sate my curiosity? You must admit you would be doing the same were you in my position."
"I have to admit no such thing," she commented, although that was true. If say, a Qunari had fallen into Nirn and Talia had access to them, she'd be doing everything in her power to learn more about them.
"Deny it if you wish, but I know a kindred spirit when I see one. You cannot resist the allure of knowledge."
"If that was all I wanted, I would have prostrated myself in front of Mora years ago." As soon as the words left her lips, she knew she'd fallen into his trap.
"Mora?" There was smugness mixed in with the curiosity in Fen'Harel, and Talia bit her tongue at her misstep. The Fade was difficult to navigate; it seemed to heighten emotions and twist her mind.
When Talia remained stubbornly quiet, the elf spoke again.
"I propose an exchange."
"An exchange?"
"I wish to learn more about your world, and you wish to learn more about ours. It seems a fair bargain. Your knowledge for some of mine."
Talia laughed sharply. "Do you think me foolish enough to accept such a deal from the likes of you?"
Fen'Harel opened his mouth to continue speaking, but Talia beat him to it. "I know you need me for something more than my knowledge. You want this, don't you?" She raised her left hand, where the Anchor resided. Fen'Harel said nothing, so she continued.
"They say the Elvhen gods were trapped forever somewhere, betrayed by the trickster, Fen'Harel. Why should I believe anything you say?"
"Who knows?" There was a hint of mockery in his tone. "Much of Elvhen history and magic had been lost in the purging of the Dales, after all," he said pointedly. When she remained silent, Fen'Harel continued, "Can you truly disdain my knowledge? Knowing that it could help you find a way home?"
"Help me find a way home? You don't even know what I am, where I'm from or how I got here. And you have the arrogance to stand there and tell me your knowledge can help me?" She replied sharply.
"I've been coming here, have I not? I have been trying to speak to you, to learn, to understand. There is no certainty anything I know can help you back to your world, just as there is no certainty that you will ever make your way home. But having some knowledge is better than having none at all."
He was right about that, there was no question about it. But she did not know who Fen'Harel was, what his true motive was. Whether he was a god or not, he could not be trusted so easily.
"You can think this over, of course. But if you permit me one question today, I will let you ask me one question back."
"Just one question?" Talia asked suspiciously.
Fen'Harel inclined his head. "Friendships and alliances must start somewhere."
She stared at him for a while before acquiescing reluctantly. "Very well." This was, quite possibly, one of the most foolish things she's ever done in a while.
Fen'Harel turned to the horizon, probably thinking of which question to ask, and Talia mentally prepared herself for every question she thought he might be interested in. Still, she was surprised when he finally asked it.
"Tell me about this place."
"That's not a question," Talia replied smartly. Fen'Harel pursed his lips in annoyance, and she resisted the urge to laugh. "This place as in this land? This city? This village?"
Fen'Harel shrugged. "You may interpret that question as you wish."
What could it hurt? "This place is called Sadrith Mora. In our language, it means 'Mushroom Forest'".
Fen'Harel looked at the large mushrooms that served as houses, shops, and inns in the city, and he smiled slightly. "Quite literal."
"I thought so as well," Talia agreed, and when she fell silent, he gestured for her to continue. "This city is the seat of House Telvanni. They're renowned for their magical abilities." Talia pointed to the tall spire that could easily be seen from the harbor. "That's Tel Naga, where Neloth, a Master of House Telvanni, resides. Rumor has it that he grew that mushroom tower all by himself."
"Fascinating." To Talia's surprise, Fen'Harel actually said that like he meant it.
"I don't know much about this place. I've only been here twice in my life," Talia admitted.
"Where do you come from, then?" he asked nonchalantly, but Talia saw through it.
"That's two questions," she pointed out, and Fen'Harel smirked unrepentantly.
"How did you travel to Sadrith Mora, then?" He changed his question.
"That's still another question." Talia said, but she answered it nonetheless. "I arrived here once via boat, and the other time via portal."
"Portal?" He sounded faintly surprised.
"Yes, I was a child when we traveled by boat, and I disliked it greatly. The portal was far quicker and less unpleasant."
"I see." Talia heard the curiosity behind his words, but she did not feel the need to elaborate.
"There's not much else I can tell you about Sadrith Mora. If you want to know about the Telvanni, or something related, I'm afraid that will have to wait." She gave him a challenging look.
Fen'Harel inclined his head. "You've fulfilled your end of the bargain, so ask me what you wish."
Talia looked away as she contemplated her question. She thought about asking if he'd really trapped the other gods in the Fade, but she knew he'd never answer that. Still, there was one pressing thing she needed to know…
"Answer me this one question, truthfully, and I will consider this…'exchange' of knowledge you're so eager to sell me."
"May I know what the question is, then?"
"Are you really Fen'Harel, the Elvhen god, the trickster and traitor to the Elvhen? Or are you a mortal masquerading as Fen'Harel?"
"Traitor to the Elvhen?" he asked frostily.
"That's what the Dalish say."
Fen'Harel grew so tense that Talia was slightly worried he'd lash out at her. He turned away from her and kept his hands clasped behind his back.
"And if I answer this, you will agree to our deal?"
"I will consider it," Talia corrected.
He whirled around so fast that she was forced to take a step backward.
"Consider it?" he asked in condescension. His lips had thinned in displeasure, and Talia realized this was the first time she'd seen the elf so ruffled.
Talia straightened and she looked Fen'Harel in the eye. "Yes, consider it. Because I know nothing of you, of your intentions, of your ultimate plans. But perhaps there are others out there who can share their knowledge of the Elvhen with me. It may take years, but it is possible. Whereas you can only gain information of my world, my magic, and this mark," She raised her hand. "From me. I know my worth, Fen'Harel, and it's time you knew yours."
He took a step towards her, and Talia didn't move one inch.
"Careful," she said softly, dangerously. "Or you might just discover how many other gods would come to my aid if my life were threatened."
Talia didn't think it was possible, but from the little Talia could see of his face, Fen'Harel had clearly paled a bit.
They both stared at each other for a long time before Fen'Harel forced himself to relax. He brought his palms up placatingly. "Your question—," He sighed at her. "You worded that in such a manner that would infuriate me."
Talia shrugged, but did not deny it. "People are often more truthful when emotions are heightened."
"For future reference, it is not a good idea to anger someone you suspect to be a god," he said drily.
"Noted," she replied, equally as dry.
They both looked out at the horizon; the sun was now setting, casting a warm glow over both of them. Talia stayed quiet, waiting for the elf's answer.
"I…suppose that I am neither."
Talia frowned and turned to him. "Neither? How can you be neither?"
"I was never a god," he replied so quietly, that Talia could barely hear him. "In the same way that none of my other kin were gods."
"So you're saying you actually are Fen'Harel, but you're mortal?" Talia felt wrong-footed at this new information.
"Why are you so surprised? You must have had your suspicions." He sounded amused, belying his earlier discomfort.
"But why were you worshipped as gods? And how are you even alive if you're really Fen'Harel?"
"That's three questions," he replied mildly and let out a chuckle as Talia looked at him in consternation. "We gained great power, and for a time, we were immortal. But none of us were the Creators, none of us were gods."
"Oh," Talia blinked as she made the connection. They were like the Tribunal. Mortals that came across incredible powers and established themselves as the gods of the new world.
"Does that satisfy your curiosity?"
Talia sighed but gave Fen'Harel a firm nod. "It answers a lot of my questions. Lady Nocturnal told me you were mortal; it seems she wasn't mistaken about that."
"Nocturnal," Fen'Harel repeated her name. "The ravens were from her."
It sounded more like a statement than a question, so Talia did not deign to answer it. "Let me think about your proposal. For now, kindly refrain from entering my dreams without permission. I'd like to get a good night's sleep some time."
Fen'Harel smiled at her. "Perhaps you should learn how to block me out, then." He sounded teasing, and that disturbed Talia to no end.
Then and there, she decided that it was enough social interaction with the Dread Wolf that she could take.
"Good bye, Fen'Harel."
She closed her eyes firmly and commanded herself—
WAKE UP.
Talia jolted out of her bedroll. Taking stock of her surroundings, she let go of the dagger she'd automatically unsheathed, and took a deep breath.
Fen'Harel.
If he was to be believed, he actually was the "Dread Wolf", neither a god, nor truly mortal. But somewhere in between. Talia could feel the sincerity behind his words, but she figured that tens of thousands of years living would have let him perfect his lies. Still, he could have claimed he was a god and left it at that, agreed with every story the Dalish had. It was the fact that he'd contradicted everything that made Talia believe he was telling the truth.
But what did Fen'Harel really want? It was natural he'd be curious about her world, and she knew he was interested in the Anchor. However, she had no idea what he wanted to do with it. If there was any truth to the tales of the Dalish, he had locked away the rest of his kin in the Fade.
Talia couldn't deny to herself, however, that his offer of Elvhen knowledge and magic was something she'd been seeking for some time. She needed more information on how magic in this world works, and how she could possibly bridge or combine it with Nirn magic. And the other information he could give her—old elvhen magic that had been lost to time; it made his offer all the more tempting.
Sighing, she got out of her bedroll and exited her tent. The moon was slowly sinking, and the sky was only starting to lighten, confirming that it was still very early in the morning. A lone figure was seated on a fallen log at the edge of the clearing, peering solemnly at the sky.
"Blackwall," she called out in surprise to the warden, who was still awake, even if his shift should have ended a few hours ago.
"Lady Talia?" He seemed to have been startled out of his thoughts.
"Why are you still awake? Are you all right?"
"Ahhh, yes." He seemed blindsided by her line of questioning. "I'm not particularly tired, and the men needed their rest."
"Don't exhaust yourself on their behalf. I need you in your best form, as well," she chastised lightly.
"I'll remember that, my lady." A hint of pink reached Blackwall's cheeks as he coughed. "Are…you all right?"
"Hmmm? Oh yes. I'm going for a walk to clear my head. We need some more herbs anyway."
"Let me accompany you."
"That's not necessary," she protested, but he was already standing and moving to wake two scouts to take up the watch.
The man was chivalrous to a fault, Talia almost rolled her eyes. But she supposed she should be grateful. They followed the path of the winding river, Talia picking up every herb she could see. It would help to have her own stock in the future. She was definitely having an alchemic lab installed in her room in Skyhold.
Blackwall wasn't bad company, he was mostly quiet, but he was opening up little by little. He gave small comments on the areas they passed, saying that he'd been roaming around the Hinterlands for quite some time. He pointed to one of the fruit-bearing trees she wasn't familiar with.
"I survived an entire week subsisting on that fruit alone. It has a lot of water, so it helps with both the hunger and the thirst."
Talia peered at the pale orange fruit, which didn't look familiar to her. "What's it called?"
"I've no clue. I, uh, have been calling it 'life-saving-fruit' in my mind." When the dunmer laughed, he grinned back at her.
"Give me a boost, then, I'll go grab us some."
"Oh, of course." He knelt down and Talia stepped up onto his shoulders. He gripped her legs tightly as he stood up. The dunmer quickly climbed up and steadied herself on the boughs of the tree.
"How do I know if they're ripe?" Talia called down to Blackwall.
"Ripeness wasn't really a concern of mine when I was starving," Blackwall answered sheepishly.
When Talia was finished harvesting the fruit, she peered back down and signaled Blackwall.
"My lady?" he asked.
"Here," Talia threw down the bag of fruits, which Blackwall caught deftly. She cast a cushioning spell on her boots, a watered-down version of the enchantment in the boots of Springheel Jak, but still effective for shorter heights. Satisfied, she jumped down.
Blackwall let out a noise of surprise, and to her bemusement, let go of the bag to catch her as well. The force of her landing was enough to knock the poor warden off his feet. She quickly got off Blackwall and knelt over him.
"Blackwall! Are you all right?"
"Yes," The Warden grunted in response as he sat up slowly. "Are you all right, my lady?" He looked at Talia for a moment before saying, "A fall of that height could have injured you."
She waved away his concern. "I'm fine. You didn't have to catch me, we elves are a bit more nimble on our feet." She held out a hand to help him. Blackwall hesitantly grasped her hand and let her pull him up.
"Yes well, I thought maybe the non-elf half would make it hard for you."
Talia raised an eyebrow.
"…That was a joke, my lady."
"I didn't know you were capable of jokes," she teased lightly. Blackwall was always a serious, if somewhat broody man. It was hard to get close to him, as he seemed to see her mostly as a figure of authority. He was wary of Felix as well, probably all the preconceived notions of Tevinter.
"Don't spread it around, might ruin my reputation." He grinned more freely.
"Your secret's safe with me."
The light atmosphere evaporated when a light rustling could be heard from the woods across the river. Both Blackwall and Talia tensed and readied their weapons. It was either the Templars or the apostates, neither seemed to be a good option right now. When the figure emerged, it stopped in its tracks and gaped at Talia.
Talia, stuttered in her steps as well, staring at the elf in dismay. Damn. Nobody was supposed to see her, let alone someone who knew her.
"Herald?" Solas called out in shock.
Blackwall glanced from her to Solas and lowered his blade. "You know him, my lady?"
"I—how—?" It was the first Talia had seen him at a loss for words. And in his defense, she was having difficulty deciding what to tell him.
"Solas—," she began, but was cut off by another voice.
"Hey Chuckles! Where'd you run off to?" Varric's unmistakable voice came from somewhere behind Solas. Meters away, but undoubtedly getting closer.
Perhaps it was the horror in Talia's expression, but Solas hesitated in answering.
"Solas, you have to listen to me," Talia said urgently. "They cannot know I'm here, I cannot be seen."
"My lady?" Blackwall asked in confusion.
"I was with the Herald the whole day, whoever you are, you're clearly not her," Solas replied steely.
"Hey Chuckles! You there?" Varric's voice was nearer now, but it was the second voice that caused more panic.
"Really, Varric, maybe he just wanted some alone time."
Sweet Night Mother.
Blackwall glanced at Talia in confusion, clearly hearing the voice as well.
How? Talia's mind raced as she thought of ways to prove who she was.
"Solas?" The voice was closer now, just as Talia realized what she could do. She hastily removed her left glove and thrust her hand out at Solas, clearly displaying the glowing mark.
Solas' eyes widened, and if he wasn't gaping before, he certainly was doing so now.
"Please, I can explain everything later, but nobody can know I'm here," Talia pleaded. She couldn't attack Solas. He was a mage, a rather capable one as well. Any and all ways to silence him would be met with resistance. Perhaps she could incapacitate him if she had more time, but she needed to hurry. Solas was intelligent and reasonable; he would understand the implications of having the mark on her hand.
"I require an explanation later," he said, but he turned to address the coming group. "I'm over here, Varric."
Talia all but sighed in relief. There was rustling from the foliage across the river, and she only managed to drag Blackwall behind some bushes before two figures emerged.
Talia peeked through the trees, and she suspected Blackwall was doing so as well, if the disbelieving expression on his face was any indication of what he saw.
It was one thing to think about it hypothetically, but actually seeing it was rather unnerving.
Standing at the edge of the river were none other than Solas, Varric…and Talia.
Or rather…past-her.
She looked rather tired, it was obvious that the stress of the past few days was catching up to her. But the small smile on her face was genuine—almost all her smiles around the dwarf were.
"Find anything, Chuckles?" Varric asked.
"Just some spindleweed," he pointed to the herbs on the riverbank. "I'll need more of this for the people at the Crossroads."
"Varric and I are meeting Cassandra by the West Road, some locals said there's a Templar outpost there. We're going to try and talk to them," Indoril said. "Would you like to come?"
"The Templars may be more amenable if there is no mage in your group," Solas replied.
"He's got a point, Pointy."
"Pointy? Really?" Indoril asked in exasperation. "I thought you were a writer."
"The daggers, you know. I thought you might prefer it over 'Glowy'." Varric pouted.
Indoril shook her head and turned to Solas. "Are you sure you'll be fine on your own? It's not just the Templars who are hostile towards apostates in this area."
Talia felt like she was stuck in a dream as she watched herself interact with the other two. It was like replaying a memory, but from an outsider's perspective.
"He'll be fine. I'd actually feel sorry for anybody who tries attacking him." Varric shrugged. "Let's leave Chuckles to his spindleweed and go meet the Seeker."
"Eager to see her again, are you?" she teased.
Talia could see Varric shudder all the way from across the river.
"It's like setting a bone, you know? Better to just do it quickly."
Their banter continued as they went back the way they came, and when Talia could no longer hear them or see them through the detect life spell, she let out a sigh of relief.
"Forgive the language, but what the fuck was that?" Blackwall sounded furious and confused. And Talia couldn't blame him, she felt rather disoriented and unbalanced after seeing herself.
"I too, would like an explanation for this." Came Solas voice, and Talia looked up to find that he'd already crossed the river over to them.
She looked from Blackwall's betrayed expression to Solas' impassive one, and suppressed the urge to groan.
"Damn." Talia pinched the bridge of her nose, furious with herself. It was a mistake to explore the Hinterlands especially knowing her counterpart was still running around, fighting templars and mages alike.
This was too bloody complicated even for her.
Talia sighed. "What do you want to know?"
"Perhaps it would be best to proceed to the most pressing question: how is it that there are two of you here? Are you even really Talia Indoril?" Solas said warily, but Talia noted that he didn't even tense or grab his staff.
Blackwall looked stricken at the thought that someone might had fooled him, and Talia momentarily felt bad for him. She tugged off her left glove and opened her palm. The mark crackled as she did so and the two of them stared at it.
"Solas can ascertain that it's the actual mark."
The elf held out his hand and Talia allowed him to inspect the mark. When he finished, she pulled back her hand and slipped on her glove.
"How?" Solas asked in confusion.
Talia tried to think of the words to explain, but in the end she settled for the simplest. "Time magic."
Shocked silence followed her proclamation.
"You've got to be shitting me." Blackwall said flatly, and when Talia raised an eyebrow at his language, he added, "my lady."
"How?" It was unlike Solas to look so flabbergasted, but Talia thought her reaction was somewhat similar.
Talia stood up and brushed the dirt and leaves from her armor. "I think it's best if we go back to camp; I think I'll need Felix here to explain it with me."
The entire way back, Talia was berating herself. All of this could have been avoided if she hadn't taken that Sithis-forsaken walk. Blackwall was silent, though he was hacking at foliage with more force than necessary. Solas was quiet as well, seemingly deep in thought.
The scouts greeted them as they arrived, though they looked surprised at the presence of Solas. The three stopped in front of her shared tent with Felix.
"I'll go wake Felix up, and then we'll have a little talk." Fuck my life, she thought gloomily.
Talia quietly entered her shared tent with Felix. The mage was sitting up in his bedroll as she came in, and he looked at her blearily.
"How are you feeling?" Talia asked carefully.
Felix yawned. "Better, I suppose. But I still feel a bit tired."
The man was still rather pale, but he looked to be in better shape than yesterday.
"I'm sorry to wake you, but we have a…slight problem."
Felix raised an eyebrow. "How…slight is this problem?"
"I…may have…accidentally encountered my past self while exploring the Hinterlands."
"WHAT?!"
Grimacing, Talia recounted what happened by the river, and Felix groaned. "Are you always this unlucky?"
Talia thought about it. "Yes, unfortunately. You should get dressed, I'll wait for you outside. Let us know when we can come in to talk."
"Talia." Felix's voice stopped her as she was about to part the tent flaps. When the man said nothing else, she turned back and gave him an inquisitive look.
Felix averted his eyes immediately as she met his gaze, and he fiddled with his threadbare blanket as he spoke. "Last night…I was…well, I apologize for my behavior." He took a deep breath. "I know you were only concerned, and I was stressed, and I took it out on you, and I apologize," he babbled, sounding vaguely embarrassed.
Talia shook her head and kneeled in front of him. Felix was still looking away in shame, and she gingerly placed her hands on his shoulders.
"Felix," she said bracingly. "You have a terminal sickness. And while I understand that you've learned to live with it, that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be upset about it."
She paused, trying to find a way to say what she wanted. He looked up at her sudden silence, and Talia could see the grief in his eyes, and quiet acceptance of his death.
"I am a realist, Felix, I'm not a fanciful, wide-eyed slip of a mage, who utterly believes that she holds the key to your salvation. But I do know that I haven't exhausted all my resources." She shifted in her place and leaned in. "Let me help you," she implored.
"Talia, please." His voice was thick with emotion.
You are my friend, she only barely stopped herself from saying out loud. "Let me help you," she reiterated forcefully, and Felix looked down momentarily before looking back up and giving her a small smile.
"I can already tell you're not going to let this go." His tone was tinged with amusement.
"You know me so well already."
He set one of his hands atop hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Thank you, my friend."
She smiled at him faintly and pulled away.
When she exited the tent, Blackwall and Solas both looked at her. "Felix is just dressing, we'll wait for him and look for a quiet place away from camp to talk." She paused before saying, "I don't suppose I need to explain just how sensitive this information is. Only a handful of people know what happened to me and Felix. I wouldn't have wanted to involve you in this." She grimaced. "But we don't have a choice now."
The three remained silent until Felix exited the tent. Solas gave him a speculative once-over before nodding. Talia led them to the edge of camp, close enough that they could still see the rest of the group, but far enough to ensure they wouldn't be overheard. Still, at Talia's nod, Felix set up a privacy ward.
Blackwall gave him a suspicious look. "What was that?"
"Privacy ward," Talia answered for him. "It will make sure no one can hear what we're saying." She turned to Solas. "If there are to be introductions—Solas, this is Felix of the House Alexius, and Warden Blackwall."
"How do you do?" Felix asked politely as he gave a bow, while Blackwall grunted.
"How far into the future are you two from?" Solas asked curiously.
"First of all," Blackwall interjected. "How is any of this even possible?"
The warden looked so disturbed, but Talia had no clue what to do to make him feel more at ease.
"My father has been working on time magic theory for a long time, but it was the Breach that gave them the...means to make it happen. I'm not entirely sure how it works," he admitted. "It was never my branch of expertise or interest."
"As for how far into the future, give or take maybe…five months?" Talia looked over at Felix in confirmation, and he nodded.
"Fascinating," Solas commented.
"Oh," Blackwall looked relieved for some reason. "I thought you were from far off into the future."
"Does something happen in five months that necessitates you going back in time to…fix things? Change them?" Solas asked insistently.
"Nothing of the sort; it was an accident," Felix assured them, when he hesitated to continue speaking, Talia interceded.
"We'd rather not explain how it happened. The less people know about the future, the better."
"Ah yes, the time travel paradox," Solas murmured, more to himself. "You, hiding from your past self?"
Talia nodded. "Absolutely necessary. I have no memory of ever meeting another version of me, or Blackwall, before we were sent back."
"So, this is the first…erm…timeline we've ever met? You never knew me in the past—future? For fuck's sake, this is so confusing." Blackwall growled in frustration.
Talia's lips twitched in amusement at his annoyance. "No, I've never met you, haven't even heard of you, which is why it surprised me when Felix showed up with you in tow." At his confusion, she clarified. "Leliana, our Spymaster, probably knows of your existence and was interested in recruiting you. However, I—that is, me from the future—got there first. I sent a letter informing her that we've recruited you, so she didn't tell past-me about you."
"…I won't pretend to understand that," Blackwall said flatly.
"Talia and I have tried not to interfere with 'the past' much, and we plan to avoid our past-selves as much as possible." He gave her a look and wryly added, "that is, if Talia's bad luck doesn't rear its ugly head."
Solas wrinkled his brow at her. "So where are you two staying? Surely you must have been in a secluded location to have avoided…everyone?"
Talia opened her mouth to answer, paused as she had an epiphany, and groaned in sudden understanding.
"What?" Felix asked.
"Causality," she replied, massaging her temples in weariness. As the three continued to goggle at her, she elaborated, "It suddenly occurred to me why you were so knowledgeable about where we're currently staying." She gave Solas a look. "Ever heard of a place called 'Tarasyl'an Te'las'?"
Solas was taken aback for a moment, but turned contemplative. "'The Place Where the Sky is Held'? It's the first time I've ever heard of it."
"I thought so." She crossed her arms. "In a few months, I'll be coming to you, worrying about this 'Skyhold' place. And you'll reassure me that it's a perfectly defensible fortress—perfect for the Inquisition's base of operations. I've always wondered how you knew about it." Talia shook her head. "Well now I know."
Felix was amazed at how the effects of time traveling were unraveling right before his eyes. Even Solas seemed a bit struck. Blackwall looked like he wanted nothing more than to cover his ears and leave all this magical business to the three of them.
"So you're currently staying at this…Skyhold?" Solas asked.
"We've just scouted the place. It's a little more than a crumbling ruin, but at least the outer walls are intact. We need all the help we can get…hence, this rescue mission," Felix explained.
"I'd very much like to see this fortress."
"Probably once we've left for Val Royeaux…past-me, that is." Talia said. "It's best if you don't come with us for now, I do remember you being there for the entire time we stayed at the Hinterlands. You also came back to Haven with us. I'll talk to the Ambassador. Perhaps you two can come to Skyhold after; Josephine can bring a contractor to look at the damage and start on repairs."
"Can we call past-you something else? At least refer to her in third person or something. It's getting a bit confusing." Felix pointed out.
"Thank you," Blackwall said gratefully.
"Call her Indoril, then." Talia acquiesced. "Apart from the four of us, the only others who know about this are Leliana, Josephine, Scout Harding and her party."
"Scout Harding seems like an odd choice, since neither Commander Cullen nor Seeker Pentaghast are on that list," Solas said.
"An accident. They were the first people we came across after traveling. We weren't aware of the time travel, so you can imagine our surprise when Harding had no idea what we were talking about," Talia said dryly.
"Caused quite a bit of panic." Felix said lightly.
"After you decided to blurt out the truth in front of them."
"I was in shock."
"So what now?" Blackwall asked before Talia could respond. "What are you planning?"
Talia exhaled. "For now, we're looking to build Skyhold into a more…acceptable base. Recruitment is also a top priority." Hesitantly, she added, "We're also looking for Warden Stormcrown."
"The Warden Commander?" Blackwall sounded surprised. "You're planning on recruiting her for the Inquisition?"
"Not…exactly. It's mostly personal. We're sort of kin. And she has information that I need, questions that only she can answer. That's mostly what we need from you," Talia told Blackwall.
"I'm afraid I don't know where the Warden Commander is." He replied carefully.
"We have a lead, and we figured it's best to bring a warden if we're dealing with darkspawn."
"Darkspawn?" Solas asked warily.
"The Deep Roads," Talia said solemnly, and got sympathetic looks from all three.
"Who else are you planning to recruit?"
Talia and Felix shared a look. "We'd rather not say," Felix said carefully. "It ties in with something important happening in the future."
"Since you'll be in contact with Indoril a lot, it's best we don't say much about our plans. Once it becomes inevitable, or when the timelines catch up to one another, we promise to explain everything." Talia reassured them.
Solas was disappointed, but understood their rationale.
The group spoke a bit more before concluding their meeting, with Talia and Felix answering what questions they could, and sidestepping those they couldn't. Blackwall and Felix turned to leave, and when Solas followed suit, Talia spoke to him.
"Solas? A word?"
Felix looked at her questioningly, but she gestured for him and Blackwall to go on.
"Herald?" he asked curiously.
"There's one more matter I wished to talk to you about."
Talia recounted her first run-in with Fen'Harel, and when she was done, Solas gave her an inscrutable look.
"When did all of this happen? It can't be anytime now; Indoril has shown no indication that she's being visited by Fen'Harel."
"No," Talia pursed her lips. "His infiltration of my mind was…subtle. He was first able to talk to me sometime after Val Royeaux. Before that, I didn't dream much. I had no connection to the Fade before, as you ascertained when you inspected me and the mark. But gradually, I began to dream. And I heard his voice first, a few times before he first appeared."
"Have you considered that this could just be a person pretending to be Fen'Harel?" he asked.
Talia let out a startled laugh at his words. "Sorry. It's just that, that's exactly what you told me at that time."
"It's quite strange, hearing you talk about future events in past tense."
"It's incredibly unsettling. Especially seeing myself. There are no words to describe how I felt when I saw Indoril by the river." Talia shook her head. "It was so…surreal."
"I can imagine," Solas said sympathetically.
"Going back to Fen'Harel, is it possible that it's actually him?"
"It's a possibility, certainly. Though I don't understand why he'd show himself in the first place. It would make much more sense not to reveal one's self if the goal was to gather information on you."
"Who knows? Maybe he's gone 'round the bend after years of isolation." Talia smirked.
Solas didn't share her humor. "Joke as you will, but whoever this person is, god or not, he seems dangerous. And I would caution against any future interactions with him."
"I can't exactly stop him now, can I?" Talia shot back.
"Perhaps you should learn to block him out, then?"
He was offering lessons subtly, Talia was certain of it. But something about what he said and how he said it rang warning bells in Talia's mind, and she stared at Solas for a long moment before nodding. "I'll ask Felix for tips later."
Solas' face was carefully blank as he agreed. "Of course. Is there anything else you wished to discuss?"
"Nothing for now. You'd best get back to Indoril, she'll be wondering where you've been."
"Safe journeys, Herald."
"Safe travels."
She watched him walk away before turning to the direction of camp. There was something off about Solas, but Talia couldn't put her finger on it. She controlled and influenced people for a living, and Solas…just now, it seemed as if he was trying to manipulate her into…what? Getting lessons from him?
It sounds ridiculous when she put it that way, but something just felt wrong about that situation, and Talia learned to trust her instincts.
For now, the mystery of Solas would have to wait. She had more pressing concerns.
It was time to find Savith Stormcrown.
A/N: My apologies for being inactive for so long! I rewrote this chapter five times over the one and a half years I didn't update. It was such a difficult chapter to write. But I'm back, and I promise to update sooner. Thanks so much for the lovely reviews! Sorry I won't be able to reply to all, but I'll start responding to the next batch after this chapter. Thanks for your patience!