It was the fifth week.
Hadley trudged into the cave, wishing Bones would just beat him unconscious again instead of what he knew was coming. A makeover, courtesy of a vampire.
Bones wasn't perched on his usual boulder. Maybe he was still sleeping? Hadley was about ten minutes early. It hadn't taken him long to appease Ron and Dudley on where he was going or what he was doing this time. He hadn't technically lied to them, but it was close enough that it still made his stomach squirm uncomfortably.
He had informed them that he had joined a private training program for bounty hunters so that he could increase his skills. He had lamented loudly to them that since the war had ended, he had let a lot of his training slip and go rusty, so a training program was definitely needed if he wanted to kill more than just small fry bounties. Ron and Dudley were appeased, hell, Ron was downright cheerful lately thinking he had been right all along and Hadley just should have joined the Aurors. Being a Bounty Hunter was not the same thing as being an Auror, but to Ron it was.
"Bones?" Hadley called out, traveling further into the cave.
A whoosh of air came from above him. Hadley pivoted on one leg and struck out forcefully with the other, knocking the mystery attacker to the side. Then he ducked in time to avoid the fist that had shot out toward his skull and backflipped out of range of the next lightning punch.
"Very good!" the pleased voice of course came from Bones.
Hadley unconsciously relaxed. "Testing me again Bones? Where did you come from anyway?"
"There," Bones replied, pointing up.
Hadley's eyes followed Bones' gesture and saw a small crevice in the rock about a hundred feet up in the air. How in the world had he gotten up there without a broom?
"Like this," Bones answered Hadley's unspoken question and propelled himself straight upward as though he'd been yanked on a string.
Hadley stared, open-mouthed. Five weeks of training together and Bones had never done anything like that before.
"Wow. Uh, neat trick? Is that something new?"
"No, luv," Bones said as he plummeted back down to the cave floor with grace. "Something old, like I am. Remember, just because a vampire isn't in front of you doesn't mean they're not right on top of you."
"Got it," Hadley murmured. Five weeks ago, Hadley might have blushed, but now he didn't even blink at the possible innuendo in Bones' statement.
"Now then, let's move on to our final phase. Turning you into a convincing seducer. Probably going to be our most difficult task yet."
"Gee, thanks you prick," Hadley muttered grumpily.
They reached what was the makeshift family room, which was rather normal looking for being inside of a cave, as long as you didn't count the limestone and stalagmite walls and ceiling. Bones pirated electricity from a nearby power link and rerouted it cleverly into the cave. Thus he had lamps, a computer, and a telly plugged in by the sofa. He even had a space heater for when he was tired of the cave's natural mid-fifties temperature. Hang a few paintings and add some decorative pillows, and not even Aunt Petunia would have blinked an eye at the living space. Hell, it could be featured in a magazine and Aunt Petunia would have pointed it out as a great example of what normal living should look like.
Bones grabbed his denim jacket and led Hadley back toward the entrance of the cave. "Come on. We are going to a salon. I expect this will take a while."
"You can't be bloody serious." Hadley looked at his reflection in the full-length mirror Bones had propped up against the wall with a mixture of revulsion and disbelief.
They had spent five hours at Hot Hair Salon. An experience that gave Hadley an exact understanding of what it was like to go through the washer and dryer. He'd been washed, waxed, plucked, snipped, blown dry, manicured, pedicured, sloughed, exfoliated, curled, and primped. When they tried to put on layers of makeup, Hadley had finally put his foot down. He was afraid to even look at himself by the time Bones had returned to pick him up and gave the vampire the silent treatment all the way back to the cave. Finally, seeing the end result made Hadley break his silence.
"There is no bloody way I'm going out in public like this! Are you mad?"
It seemed while Hadley was being tortured at the salon, Bones had been out shopping. Shopping couldn't be that bad, right? Wrong. It appears somewhere during Bones' shopping spree he had forgotten what Hadley's gender was.
There were boots, earrings (Hadley's ears weren't even pierced?), padded bras, skirts, and what Hadley thought were shirts but Bones helpfully informed him they were actually dresses. Before Hadley could even remind Bones that he did, in fact, possess a dick, he was forced into one of those slutty non-existent dresses. A bright green and silver number cut about four inches above his knees and was scandalously low in the front. That combined with the new leather boots, curled hair, eyeliner, and a bloody woman's thong made Hadley feel like a twenty-dollar crossdressing whore.
"You look smashing." Bones grinned. "Can't hardly stop myself from ripping your clothes off."
"You think this is funny, don't you? This is all a big bloody chuckle-fest to you! I am a man you know?!"
Bones sprang forward. "This isn't a joke, but it is a game. Winner takes all. You need every advantage you can get. If some poor undead fellow is busy looking at this" - Bones lifted the material of the dress until the black thong Hadley was wearing showed before Hadley slapped Bones hand away pulling the dress back down to cover his bits - "then he won't be looking for this."
Something hard was now pressed against Hadley's stomach. He wrapped his hands around it and squared his shoulders. "Is that a stake Bones, or are you just happy to see me in your kinky cross-dressing fantasy dress?"
Bones gave him a grin that was filled with more innuendo than an hour's worth of conversation.
"In this case, it's a stake. You could always feel around for something more though. See what comes up."
"This better be part of that dirty-talk training, or I will be giving this new stake a go."
"Now pet, that's hardly a romantic rejoinder. Concentrate! You do look great, by the way. That padded bra really gives you some wonderful curve to your body even if you don't have the cleavage to match."
"Slimy prick!" Hadley spat.
"Moving on Kitten. Put that stake in your boot. You'll find there's a loop for it."
Hadley reached down and found a leather circle inside of each boot. The stake fits snugly inside, concealed yet within easy reach. The loop in the other boot was smaller so Hadley assumed it would fit his wand just as easily. He'd wondered where he was supposed to hide any of his weapons in this skin-tight dress, that is if Bones was serious about forcing him to cross-dress.
"Put your wand away in the other loop." Bones instructed Hadley. So he had been right. Complying, Hadley looked back in the mirror and frowned again. Here he was, now outfitted as Harry Potter: the Cross-Dressing Vampire-Killing Slut. Voldemort and Dumbledore had to both be rolling around in their graves.
"Hmmm, still something is not right, something is missing…" Bones walked in a circle around Hadley. He scrutinized every angle, making Hadley increasingly nervous.
"Maybe it's the fact that you put me in a dress when I am clearly a guy." Hadley drawled out sarcastically.
"I've got it!" Bones declared suddenly, snapping his fingers in triumph. It made Haley's eye twitch in annoyance. Bones went back to the bags of all the clothes he had bought and brought out a small purple bottle that looked suspiciously like a potion. Before Hadley could react, Bones was standing in front of him again, and spraying some of the mystery liquid on Hadley's skin.
"What the fuck is that?" Hadley hissed, backing away from Bones.
"Pheromone enhancer." Bones said with a slight smirk.
"What?" Did that mean what Hadley thought it did?
"Look, I do recognize you are in fact male. While you are correct in your assumptions that most of the vampire world tends to start to skew more bi-flexible as they age. They still have preferences. This is just to tip the scales in our favor."
"And just how is this spray supposed to do that exactly?" Hadley frowned.
"The scent, pet," Bones replied instantly. "You look amazing but just a little of this spray and it'll be like dangling bloomin' catnip in front of a kitty. Any vamp gets a good whiff of you now and they won't be able to resist wrapping their mouth around-"
"Okay! Enough! I get the picture, thanks." Hadley scowled and started muttering to himself. "You have me cross-dressed in these screw-me clothes, I've been primped, preened, and prodded all day, and I'm going to burn their ears off with dirty talk. If all that isn't enough to get them to take me seriously, then I think it's probably hopeless."
Bones stood very still the way only vampires could do, utterly motionless. It was both fascinating and creepy to watch when Bones got like this, it was one of the man's few telling signs of being inhuman. Bones' face was thoughtful, as if presented an interesting puzzle to solve. The hollows and planes of his cheekbones were reflected from the overhead light. He was still the most chiseled man Hadley had ever seen.
"It's like this, luv," Bones responded at last. "You look right fetching now with your new togs, but suppose a fellow prefers blondes? Or brunettes? Or likes 'em with a little more meat on the arse? These aren't greenhorns looking for the first available artery. These are Master vampires with discriminating tastes. We need something to tip the scales, as it were. Think of it as … advertising. Is it really that difficult for you? You know, with a vampire's sense of smell, it's not like he can't sniff you out in the first place. Blimey, I can tell immediately when you have jacked off the night before even after you have showered. Some things you just-"
"All right!" Hadley's face burned bright red. He was never touching himself ever again with that kind of information presented to him. "I get it. You win. Rub me in vampire catnip or whatever the hell that is, but stop talking if only for my sanity."
"Whatever you say, Kitten." Bones sounded amused. Hadley was so glad he could provide the sadistic vampire such continuous entertainment. "Now, then, let's get on to the nasty speak."
They sat at a table opposite each other. Bones held Hadley's hands despite his initial protest arguing that if he flinched or twitched repeatedly, it would be a dead giveaway. Pun intended. Between Hadley's facial expressions and his hand movements, Bones had his own lie detector test. For every blush or recoil Hadley gave, it would be ten miles running through the woods with Bones chasing him. Hadley was determined not to take that nature jog from hell.
"You look luscious, pet. The only thing that could make your mouth more beautiful is if it were wrapped around my cock. I wager you could start my heart again. I'd like to bend you over just to hear how loud you can scream. I bet you like it rough, you'd like me to tear into you until you can't beg anymore…"
"My, it sure seems like someone hasn't been laid in a while. No one around to wet your whistle recently?" Hadley mocked, proud of himself for not running out of the room right off. The wizarding world would be beyond scandalized.
It wasn't just Bones' words or the little circles his thumbs traced on Hadley's palms. Bones' eyes were dark and heated as though lit from within, looking right into Hadley's eyes with a knowing stare that made every word infinitely more intimate. Filled with both promise and threat. Bones' tongue flicked out to trace the inside of his lower lip, making Hadley wonder if Bones imagined doing all of the things he described. It took all of Hadley's considerable willpower to hold his gaze.
"I'll take your nipples inside of my mouth, licking them until they turn dark red. They'll do that, luv. The more I lick and the more I nibble, the darker they'll get. Let me inform you of a secret about vampires — we direct where the blood goes in our bodies, for as long as we want it to be there. I can't wait to find out how you taste, and you won't want me to stop even after I've completely exhausted you. You'll think you were on fire, your skin will burn. I'll suck all of your juices out of you, and only then will I drink your blood."
"Huh?" Hadley blinked confused before understanding dawned about the sequence of the last two sentences, and with it came the sudden mental image of Bones doing that to Hadley. A flush scorched across Hadley's cheeks in the next instant. Mortified, Hadley snatched his hands away and stood so abruptly that the chair fell over with a loud thunk.
Taunting laughter followed him.
"Oh, Kitten, you were doing so well! Guess you couldn't pass up a nice stroll in the woods. Beautiful night for it, I smell a storm coming. And you wonder why I had you begged for an innocent virgin. I've met nuns who were more promiscuous than you. I knew it would be the oral stuff that did you in. I would have bet my life on it."
"You don't have a life. Being undead aside, you're about as sociable as I am." Hadley snarked, trying to get his blush back under control. Listening to Bones' explicit detailing of everything he could do to Hadley — not that Hadley would ever let him, of course — had made it impossible for Hadley to control his reactions. Hadley shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind of the images now dancing within it.
"That's a matter of opinion. I've seen your social life, it is almost as pitiful as your non-existent love life." Bones drawled cheerfully, rocking back on the two legs of his chair, easily balancing.
Bones wore a charcoal-gray pullover that hugged his shoulders and skimmed his collarbone. Black pants were nearly a staple with him; Hadley had to wonder if he owned any other color. The dark colors only accented Bones' light hair and pale skin, making them even more incandescent. Hadley knew this was no accident. Everything was deliberate with Bones. With those incredible cheekbones and his ripped physique, Bones was stunning. Still dangerous, but Hadley had always struggled with being afraid of things that were supposedly dangerous.
"Neither my social life nor my love life are up for debate." Hadley firmly stated.
"Really, Kitten, why so shy on our former topic? Didn't that sodding chap who shagged you kiss you everywhere first? Don't tell me the wretch neglected foreplay."
"Not unless you count him taking his clothes off as foreplay." Merlin damn Bones, and damn Danny Milton as well. Maybe one day Hadley could look back and not feel the sting, but that day was not today. "Can we not talk about that? It hardly puts me in the proper mood."
Something cold flashed across Bones' face, but his voice was light. "Don't fret over him, pet. If I ever meet the bloke, I'll snap him in half for you. No, we won't speak of him any longer. Ready to go back to the table now? Or do you need a few more minutes to cool off?" There was that insinuating tone again, making simple words sound graphic.
"I'm ready. I just wasn't prepared before." Hadley picked the chair up and set it back to rights before sitting down at the table again, sliding his hands back into Bones' waiting grip. "Go on. Give it your best shot."
Bones grinned with a slow sexy twist of his lips and the fire leapt back into his eyes. "Love to give it my best shot. Let me tell you just how I'd do it…"
Two hours later, Hadley's ears were burned to twin crisps, and he owed Bones forty miles. Bones was of course in high spirits. Why wouldn't he be? He had just hypothetically fucked Hadley into incomprehension. Snidely, Hadley had asked him if he wanted a cigarette when he had finished, and Bones informed Hadley with a laugh that he'd quit smoking. Heard it wasn't good for his health. Merlin, the vampire amused himself with his own jokes.
Hadley used one of the cave's small enclosed areas behind some rocks as a changing room to strip out of the harlot's dress and put on his jogging clothes. Bones always collected on his bets, nevermind there was now a thunderstorm out. They were going for a little torturous run in the woods. With Hadley's hair pulled back up in a quick messy bun to avoid his hair smacking him in the face while running, he squeezed out from behind the rocks to find Bones waiting for him. He gave Hadley a once-over and that cocky twist returned to his lips.
"There's the Kitten I know and love. Felt like you'd been away for a while, with how different you looked. Ready for a romp in the rain?"
"Ha. Ha. Don't quit your job as a bounty hunter, you'd never make it as a comedian. Let's get this over with. It's nearly nine o'clock and I'd like to get home. After this evening, I feel the distinct need to wash myself."
"Well, luv," — they had reached the mouth of the cave, and the rain came down in torrents — "I aim to please. One shower, coming right up."
The run was brutal, as expected. Bones even had the nerve to laugh behind him the whole way. When Hadley finally climbed into his truck, he was soaking wet and exhausted. It was an hour-and-a-half round trip every day he went to the cave, and Hadley's truck was a gas guzzler. Bones was going to have to start contributing to his travel expenses because his friends and cousin were already draining him dry of his money, Bones couldn't be added to that list too.
The lights were out in his house when he pulled in, and the rain had finally slowed to a drizzle. Hadley took his shoes off and headed straight for the bathroom. Once inside, he removed all of his muddy rain-soaked clothes and ran a hot bath.
As he sank into the water, he closed his eyes. Everything ached from the run. For a few moments he just sat, allowing himself to finally relax. The steam from the water caused moisture on his upper lip, and when Hadley wiped it away, he was startled when the brush of his fingers caused an unexpected hardening of his cock.
He tried it again, never having done this before and imagining his fingers were not his own. Gooseflesh broke out on his body and in a completely surprising reaction, his nipples hardened.
Curious, Hadley pinched his nipples lightly and then gasped at the sensation. The water felt like it caressed him as well now, in the most intimate of places. He skimmed the outsides of his now hairless thighs, amazed at both the smooth skin beneath his fingertips and at the ripples of enjoyment that followed. Then he ran a hand along the inside of his thigh, stopping just shy of gripping his cock when a fleeting thought had him hesitantly reaching lower.
A soft moan escaped his lips. It was an odd sensation that he had never felt or tried before, but with his eyes closed, open mouth breathing in the humid air, he let his fingers move a little faster, a little deeper…
…feel your tight ass wrapped around my cock, pulling me deeper inside you…
Bones' words stole his mind and he snatched his hand back as though burned. "Merlin's balls!"
Hadley jumped out of the tub, slipped on the wet tile, and fell with a crash to the floor. "Sonofabitch!" Hadley groaned. Great, that was going to leave a mark. There would be a bruise the size of Hadley's stupidity.
"Harry? What happened?" Ron's voice called from the other side of the bathroom door. Hadley's fall must have woken him.
"It's okay, Ron. I just slipped getting out of the tub. I'm fine." Hadley quickly dried off with a towel, muttering to himself under his breath. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, thinking about a vampire. What is wrong with you?"
"Who are you talking to?" Apparently, Ron was still outside of the door.
"No one!" No one intelligent, that's for sure. "Just myself, you know how I get. Just go back to bed, Ron."
After changing into a pair of comfy pajamas, Hadley carried his dirty clothes downstairs and put them in the washing machine, making a mental note to start a load in the morning. When he walked upstairs to get to his room, he passed by the room Ron and Hermione shared, where Ron had the door open, sitting on the edge of his bed, watching Hadley.
Odd… but this was Ron.
"Harry, we have to talk."
Ron had always had bad timing with these things, Hadley desperately just wanted to go to bed. But he stifled a yawn and asked him what he wanted to talk about.
"The future. Our futures. Dudley will be transferring to Ohio State next year once he finishes his classes at the community college, so he will be moving out. I know he mentioned the dorms but you will probably get him his own apartment soon anyway so he stops bringing his dates home." Here Ron grimaced, he didn't enjoy walking in on Dudley anymore than Hadley did. "So Dudley will be gone. I'm here taking care of Hermione and I just worry about you, Harry. I still don't understand why you turned down Kingsley's offer to join the Aurors, but you seem to like being a bounty hunter well enough. But this new job of yours doesn't let you talk to anyone but those you hunt. You don't go out with friends, you don't date, hell you barely talk to me and Dudley most days."
Hadley frowned, he wasn't sure where Ron was going with this conversation, he seemed to mostly be rambling at this rate.
"Well, I mean to say that I found a program in Minnesota that might be able to help 'Mione. I applied and I am waiting to hear back from the healers but if they agree then we will be leaving too and you'll be left here alone. Living by yourself, I'm worried about what you will do."
"Ron, I lived here alone for a year before you moved here. Moved in here knowing I would be alone. You don't need to worry about me." Hadley tried to placate his best friend. It was a shock that he was leaving so suddenly and taking Hermione with him, but he knew they wouldn't want to live with him forever.
"With us gone I am afraid that those monsters will get you, Harry. You'll have no one here to remind you of why you have to keep doing your job." Ron spat out the word monster and Hadley felt his breath stutter.
Merlin, Ron had picked a great time to go into this. The first thing Ron had said when Hadley had come home with his new bounty hunter license was, "Good. You have to remember who the monsters are Harry. You have to kill them before they kill us."
"You have a responsibility, Harry. When we leave you should try to make some friends and get out of this house for more than just your job, it'll be good for you to not just rot away in this barn. But you still need to remember who the monsters are and that it's your responsibility to use your power to kill those monsters before they destroy any more families."
It was one of the few times in Hadley's life that he wanted to argue with Ron. To tell him that not all vampires were evil. That Hadley had left behind his obligation for the Greater Bloody Good in that forest he had died in. That, maybe, he was tired of holding all of Ron's guilt towards the slaughter of both of their families.
But even as the denial sprung to his lips, he quickly choked it back down. It hadn't escaped Hadley's notice that their friendship had dramatically improved since he became a bounty hunter. Ron cared about Hadley, in his own way, but since the deaths of his family and the incapacitation of Hermione, Ron had been consumed by his anger and guilt and then placed it all on Hadley. Hermione always said that he had the emotional range of a teaspoon.
"I won't forget, Ron." Hadley finally said. "I won't forget and you won't have to worry about me."
Ron's shoulders relaxed and his face lost some of its harshness. Seeing that made Hadley glad he hadn't argued. There was no need to upset Ron. Especially as it looked like he would soon be leaving anyway. He had stood with Hadley through almost everything that his shitty childhood had thrown at them. He could bite his tongue and indulge Ron's hatred for a little while longer.
"I'll actually be going back out on Friday to hunt again. I will be home late. I am pretty confident that this weekend will be successful."
Yeah. Did I ever.
Ron smiled, relaxing further. "You're doing the right thing, mate."
Hadley nodded and swallowed back the guilt. If Ron ever learned about his heritage or anything about Bones, Ron would never forgive him. He wouldn't understand how he could have partnered with a vampire, or how he was part vampire himself.
Ron lay back in his bed and Hadley made his way to his room, collapsing on top of his bed with a groan. Sleep eluded him as guilt swirled inside of him fighting with his inner Gryffindor urge to prove to his best friend that being a vampire didn't automatically make someone evil. Maybe if this medical program Ron wanted to get Hermione into actually helped her recover then she could take Harry's side.
Hermione had always loved to champion the underdog.