Callum woke up dazed. His heart was still pounding with exhilaration and stars clouded his vision like snow, not fading even when he blinked. He groaned, rolling over in his sleeping bag and burying his face in his arm until he felt like a human being again.

It had been so beautiful.

He'd come so close to understanding something, as if the concept of every arcanum being connected was something tangible, just out of his reach. It was even more intense than that night when he'd almost touched a lightning rod to understand the sky and this time he even thought that his visions of every arcana at once could yield results. He could still feel the circular motion of water in the waves of the sea, the pull of the moon and sun. It wasn't like the sky, he couldn't make sense of any of it, but he'd finally seen it, at least.

Then, he almost threw up, remembering who the entire ordeal had been with.

Callum coughed, hand on his stomach, wondering which was worse, the guilt or the residual seasickness? Airsickness? Starsickness?

"Uh, hey Callum." Rayla flipped open his tent, looking in with concern. Then, she smiled, the way she would before she teased him. She had a lot of different smiles, he'd noticed. They were all quite nice. "You look like you're doing a green Bait impression, or a me-being-seasick-impression, and we aren't anywhere near the coast yet."

Callum's chest seized but it wasn't anything bad, this time.

For two years, all he'd wanted was to see her again. Then, finally, he'd gotten to! Callum had screwed it up a little, although in his defense, he had no idea how to deal with his feelings and had just wanted some time to sort them out. Maybe he was supposed to be mad, maybe he should've just cried, but he didn't have it in him to be actually mad at her, and then he hadn't felt like sobbing either. It had all just sat uncomfortably in his heart. He didn't like it, she didn't like it, and no one around them liked it either.

But, they were getting so close to being cool again, the hug of a couple days ago still fresh in his mind. He could look at her and feel happy again.

And now…

Now…

No.

Oh, he hated having a secret. It was the very worst kind of secret too. The last time he'd brought up Aaravos, he'd asked her to kill him.

Maybe if he did it again, she actually would? Haha. Cheerful morning humor.

Callum gave her a rueful, queasy smile. "Dress rehearsal for our next trip. I'll get seasick so you don't have to."

"Awww, how considerate of you!" She laughed and then just as quickly leaned in, examining him. "But really, what's wrong with you?"

"I'll keep that list short and to the point," he joked. "Bad dreams. Have you ever thought about like, being seasick but while flying? It's like that, but worse."

Rayla's shoulders sagged with relief when he admitted it was a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream was such a dangerous, misleading phrase. "I think I can solve your problem- don't think about that ever again."

Callum laughed, running a hand through his hair as he tried to steady himself. "Thanks, Rayla."

"I'm glad my genius could cure you." Despite her comment, she was still gentle with him. She sat by him, so close they could've touched. Could've.

For a fleeting second, Callum worried that Aaravos could see his waking life too. He blanched. Was he giving away their plans, their destination? It was obvious where they were going, but even so. He hated the idea of even accidentally betraying anyone.

The moment dragged on. Rayla didn't leave though, instead pulling out a whetstone and one of her butterfly blades, sharpening the edge even though Callum doubted it needed it. Were this a regular morning, he might've grabbed his spellbook to scribble in, recording new ideas or spells, drawing whatever had caught his eye, what was on his mind. Right then, though, he was content with watching her work, mind blissfully blank for a moment.

He didn't realize a smile had appeared on his face until she looked back up at him and raised her eyebrows. "Yeah?"

"Oh! Um, I, uh, I was going to draw, and I just, haha, forgot to." He sheepishly waved his hand. "Anywayyyyy, breakfast, yeah? Amaya will magically appear and scold me if I don't eat, so yeah. Gotta go." Callum scrambled to get up even as he heard Rayla let out an amused huff. He turned, just before he left, convicted to try and express something other than how very awkward he felt. "Rayla?"

"Callum?"

He should tell her. She wouldn't want to hear it, but someone needed to know that Aaravos was back in his mind. Callum knew he wasn't able to imagine the likes of the things Aaravos was showing him. It was real. It was going to happen again.

He smiled, not mindless or blank, but with sincerity. Callum didn't know how many smiles he happened to have either, but that one was just for her.

"Thank you. For checking on me."

He tried to focus on what was in front of him the entire day, but his mind still swam with stars.

-BREAK-

That night, Callum was determined to break it off. He'd shut Aaravos out. That's what he told himself when he went to sleep.

Aaravos was already waiting for him in his mind and Callum launched right into yelling.

"Alright, I mean it this time! Leave! Go!"

Aaravos heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Callum, we can't keep doing this-"

" We are not doing anything. I don't want you in my head, and you know what? We are enemies!"

"I see that our first subject to cover must be history."

Callum folded his arms, glaring up at Aaravos as though he wasn't terrified for his life. Since when was he such an angry person? Callum would think about that some other time. "I got enough history, thanks. It came from someone I trust. I know you've caused catastrophe after catastrophe, that you're going to try and use me. The light show was pretty, but I'm not yours to control."

"Hmmm." Aaravos smirked. "Was it a dragon who told you?"

How did he know? "Doesn't matter. Besides, they're my friends. Zym is my friend."

"Yes, I suppose the baby hasn't had a chance to grow up and become a tyrannical beast like the rest."

"They aren't-"

"How many dragons have you met?"

"A few," said Callum defensively.

Aaravos nodded. "Yes, I assume given recent events that Rex Igneous was one, I bet he was quite reasonable." Callum grimaced. He couldn't help it. "Still the same as ever, I see. And aside from Zubeia?"

This conversation wasn't going anywhere good. "Sol Regem."

Full, deep, cackling erupted from Aaravos, his body nearly doubling over with mirth. "It's worse than I thought! How did you manage to find the one who's even more of a bastard than Avizandum, who killed your mother?"

"Shut up!" Callum had never met anyone so aggravating in his entire life, and he couldn't fathom how Aaravos thought they would ever get along. He sprang forward and attempted to swing a punch at Aaravos, crying out in frustration when it passed through his amused form.

"Did King Harrow ever tell you exactly how she died?"

Callum's stomach flipped and he trembled. He covered his ears, hoping to block out the voice, but it did nothing. "You weren't there, I KNOW you weren't there, you liar-"

"Viren witnessed it. She was killed while fleeing."

"Stop it."

"As you may recall, Katolis and Duren had sent a small force over to get the heart of a magma titan, and they were caught on the way out. None of them posed a threat to the great Avizandum, none of them were lingering a second longer than they needed to-"

"I know what happened, I told you t-"

"How cowardly, to strike down someone with their back turned, just for the fun of it. I don't think he realized or even cared that she was a queen. No human means anything to the likes of Avizandum."

Callum took his hands off his ears so he could shout and gesture again. He didn't know when he'd started crying, and he bitterly fought to stop. "And he's DEAD, okay?!"

"It's funny, seeing how some of you reacted to Viren ordering a march on Xadia. Killing three monarchs would be a declaration of war to anyone else. It's due to his status that Avizandum had a single day left after he did what he did. The humans only waited because the dragons are a force too powerful to be faced directly, not without some creative solutions. No, they think that it is only due to their great mercy that humanity is allowed to exist on the dead side of the Breach. The original plan was to wipe out the entirety of your people. What does it matter to him that he killed a few?"

He'd felt this before, when he'd seen Avizandum's stone form. It was emptiness. It was satisfaction, followed by soul crushing grief when he watched Zym look at his father's preserved body for the first time.

That day hadn't been all bad.

Callum and Rayla had watched over Zym and Ezran play together in that battlefield that dared to grow flowers again.

They'd all agreed they would be the ones to break the cycle of constant tragedy.

Callum buried his face in his hands. "There was no reason but cruelty and greed for Viren to steal Zym from his mother. I will never condone that. I don't care what you say, even if it sounds true,"

"Maybe so." Aaravos folded his hands. "From Viren's point of view, it was also a matter of self preservation."

"He was an egg ." Callum couldn't believe he was having this conversation all these years later.

"But Xadia retaliated. Does it seem right, that they had never stopped to consider what Avizandum had done?"

Callum of a few years ago would have been nodding in agreement. He would have said yes, of course, because none of them cared for human lives. Elves were blood drinking monsters. Dragons were all vicious and cruel. Xadia hated humans. Everyone knew this.

But he'd lived enough evidence to the contrary.

"I understand why my father and Viren did what they did." Callum hated to admit that he understood, but he did. The wrath Aaravos so easily conjured up inside of him was potent, enough to melt all restraint anyone could have over their feelings. "He was a good man. He tried so hard to care for his people, to be just. To be fair."

Callum wiped at his eyes and he stuffed down the revulsion he felt at showing such vulnerability to Aaravos of all people. He continued.

"But he regretted it. He knew what he'd done was wrong. I know he wished he hadn't taken revenge. It didn't bring my mother back. It didn't do anything but cause him pain." Callum's uncertainty vanished, his mind clear. Aaravos hadn't lied, but he didn't know everything either. "My mother wouldn't have wanted him to go back. I know, I know we had no peace talks. I know that witnessing it must've eaten my father alive." Callum couldn't forget who else had been there. "My father and Viren. Before you, Viren wasn't nearly so bad."

"As much as I'd love to take credit for all of Viren's deviousness, you misunderstand. The man who grieved your mother as a dear friend overthrew your brother."

"That's impossible."

"Really?"

Callum cast about in his mind for the worst things he could ever remember Viren doing to wipe the knowing smirk off of Aaravos's face. "Soren told us what Viren tried to do. He tried to make Soren be the first to be transformed in his army. He tried to warp his own son into a monster."

He was trying so hard to come up with something irrefutable, but Aaravos closed his eyes with a patient smile, as if Callum had asked a fascinating question during a lecture. "I understand now. Of course it looked rather dire. None of you thought that spell was reversible."

No.

Callum felt like his heart fell through the floor. "No. No, it wasn't-"

"No matter how glorious the victory, Viren's people would have been furious if we couldn't return any of their loved ones who had gone to war back to them. Even worse, we had foreign armies and leadership with us. It would destroy the human kingdoms from within if Prince Kasef and the rest of them were never changed back or came back. Viren had their trust only as long as he proved he was worthy of it. I thought of all this before ever setting foot in Xadia. Do you think me so short sighted that I would sacrifice all of Viren's political power on impulse?"

That battle had been a terrible day, but they'd been able to face it knowing that Viren had already done something unspeakable. The armies of Katolis had been transformed into something inhuman. They were already gone.

Unless.

"Oh my God." Callum sank to the floor, eyes glazed over. He didn't even feel the impact of his fall. "You have to be lying-"

"You've seen sun elves use their powers, yes? It is possible for it to ebb and flow, for the cracks to heal. I would have needed to do it myself, but it was reversible. It was a mercy, really. Dragon fire didn't hurt them. Even better, they probably didn't have firsthand experience the arrows of their former comrades killing them."

There hadn't been monsters that day. Just people.

Callum knew that they would have had to fight anyway, but the overwhelming grief hit regardless.

"It doesn't change what you've done," he said, voice thick from his sore throat.

Aaravos knelt by Callum, a hand on his shoulder, a comfort Callum didn't want. "It doesn't, but there is more to this lesson."

"I've never wanted to wake up early so badly in my life."

Aaravos pushed on. "You're right, that witnessing these things ignites a different fire than reading about them in history books. I watched humanity fall. I watched them be driven from their home. Do you wonder where humanity's prejudice comes from? It was grounded in pain, an unjust punishment. It seemed I alone on the Xadian saw it for what it was- an abuse of power."

Callum was in no mood to continue the conversation, but it was happening whether he wanted it or not. "If that's true, why did you erase yourself from every mentioned history book?" That's right. Aaravos was obscured for a reason. Callum countered again. "You betrayed humans and elves alike. I don't have to believe your story. You made it so no one could know the truth."

"I didn't."

"You did. You must've."

Aaravos put a hand on his collarbone, mockingly offended. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I quite like attention. I would never take myself from history no matter how vile the records say I am."

That was the most convincing thing Aaravos had said that night and Callum groaned.

But he wouldn't be swayed. He was tired of the back and forth, the riddles in the dark.

"Maybe everything you said is true. Maybe I'm just as hurt and angry as you think." Ezran's voice rang in Callum's mind, remembering what he'd said before. Callum was suddenly overwhelmingly grateful to have him as a little brother. "We do not punish children for what their parents have done."

"How well that worked out for you and Claudia."

Aaravos's words were uncannily good at landing like a slap, but Callum stood his ground, eyes bloodshot but determined. His thoughts were his own, his actions were his own, and he stood by them.

"At least she was given a chance."

In all of their talking, Callum had felt like he was cornered. Aaravos was the one to draw reactions from him. Aaravos had intruded on his mind. Aaravos was the one with all the power.

Callum realized he'd been mistaken as Aaravos paused, a shadow flitting across his face.

Maybe it was calculated. Carefully crafted into a sympathetic mask.

But Callum didn't think so.

"Given a chance," repeated Aaravos. He stood, walking away, signaling an end to the nightmare. "The Xadia I know gives no such things."

-BREAK-

Callum didn't wake immediately after, tossing and turning as faces passed through his mind's eye.

There had been no monsters, only people.

Claudia.

Viren.

Avizandum.

No monsters, only people.