Sheets Happen

"I can't believe you punched me," said Drakken, looking in the mirror at his even darker eye. "I said we can go to Paris."

"I'm not going in there," said Shego. She was bitter, and her arms were crossed as she sat in a van with Drakken.

"What? But...and you're here...and...seriously?" asked Drakken, looking at her with wide eyes.

"I only came to watch you fail," said Shego. Drakken stared at her, and she sighed. "I'll guide you with the thermal cameras, but that's it."

"But...what if I get caught?" said Drakken. Shego shrugged, and his brow furrowed. "Shego, what am I supposed to do, sneak around in a sheet and pretend to be a ghost to try and find it?"

"You do what you think is best," said Shego, patting his arm before shoving him out the van door. "Have fun!"

"I pay you too much," muttered Drakken under his breath.

"Run that by me again?" came Shego's voice in his earpiece.

"I said...you have such a soft touch," said Drakken. He rolled his eyes at himself and hurried to the front door of their target.

"Yeah...okay that was worse," said Shego. He knew she had rolled her eyes. "There's no one home, so just hurry it up. I'm sure there's an alarm code, so don't... You opened the door, didn't you."

"Well...yes," said Drakken. He looked around. "I don't think there is one."

"It's Possible..." said Shego with a sigh. "Look on the wall."

"There's a pad... They didn't set it," said Drakken. He smirked. "Simple, trusting Possible. Idiot."

"Bit rude," said Shego. "I mean, it's not her job..."

"I was referring to the other Possible," scoffed Drakken. He rolled his eyes and made his way to the stairs. "You're certain she's not on a mission."

"Negative, Dr. D, " said Shego. He could hear filing. "She's babysitting someone's brat. Seems like the only way to distract her, really."

"Noted," said Drakken. As he made his way up the stairs, he froze. "Shego, I don't feel right looking around a teenage girl's room."

"You want the device or not?" asked Shego. "Oh no.."

"Oh no? What's 'oh no'?" asked Drakken. He heard a car as Shego continued. "That's oh no."

"Pumpkin is in the patch, I repeat, Pumpkin..." Shego said loudly.

"Thanks Shego, I got it." Drakken looked around frantically, and as he decided the hall closet was his best option for hiding, he heard Kim come in.

"Yeah, Ron, so they came home early." Kim was on the phone. She paused. "Dad forgot to set the alarm again. How many notes does Mom have to leave him... I'm probably just going to do some homework and call it a night... You can always come over Ron."

"What's going on with Kimmy and the sidekick?" came Shego's voice. Drakken glared. "I mean good for him, but way to settle, right Dr. D.?"

"Shh," he said under his breath.

"Yeah, I... Sorry, I thought I heard something," came Kim's voice as she walked up the stairs. "You know I should probably sort out my bags. I think I have some old broken mission stuff in the one... I said you can come over... Yes... Bring your bag too... No Ron, I won't do it for you... You can't have Rufus help you with algebra, did last month mean anything?"

"Mole-rat still got brains then," said Shego. Drakken bit his lip.

"Okay, see you then." Kim was off the phone. Drakken could hear her finish going up the stairs. He began trying to figure out his next step as he stood in the linen closet.

"Dr. D?" said Shego. Drakken tossed his hands up in the air. He couldn't respond, why was she... "Don't make that gesture at me. I can see you, remember... Well, thermal-wise. She's in her room, you could sneak out if you're silent enough...never-mind, side-kick alert."

Drakken wanted to hit his head against the wall, but that wouldn't work out in his favor. He heard the downstairs door open again and the sound of Ron yelling up to Kim that he was there, and then the sound of Kim heading downstairs. Drakken felt relieved as she heard their muffled voices. He opened the closet cautiously and bit his lip as he could see them just beyond the stairs.

"Fine, one movie and then we're sorting the bags," said Kim with a laugh. Ron held up a movie with a wide grin. "You make the popcorn, I'll grab two throws."

"Booyah!" yelled Ron as he vanished towards the kitchen.

Drakken panicked and looked around. Of course he was in the very closet she needed. In a moment of genius and panic, he grabbed one of the sheets and yanked it over himself, laying on the floor and hoping to look like some of the other discarded laundry on the ground. He heard the door open, and a small stream of light dimly entered. He nearly yelled as Kim stepped on his hand. He clamped his eyes and mouth shut as she grabbed blankets and then with a click the door closed. He shook his hand and sat up. It was definitely a bruising kind of day. He went to stand up but he heard the door again and dropped.

"KP, I'm grabbing another one, Rufus spilled soda on the one on the couch." Drakken felt a slightly damp blanket fall on him and a light click on. Ron was muttering to himself. "I hope it was soda."

The door closed again and Drakken sat up and threw the throw blanket across from him and grabbed at the laundry and wiped his face with it. The idea of— He froze and stared at what he'd wiped his face with. Men's boxers. He gagged, physically gagged and threw them, grabbing the clean sheets from above to both muffle himself and try to wipe away the horror of the last few seconds. He needed a bath of sanitizer when he got back to the lair.

"Are you okay in there?" came Shego's voice. He glared, and made a gesture for the thermal camera. "Rude."

Drakken took the clean white sheet he'd had and clicked off the light, sneaking out of the closet and dashing up the stairs as quietly as he could. He heard something drop downstairs, but he sprinted into the room and didn't look back. He needed to find Kim's bag and see if it was in there. It was hardly the first time the teen hero had accidentally taken something by mistake. He heard a commotion and feet on the stairs. He dove under the bed as he heard Ron look around.

"Ron? What are you doing?" came Kim's voice.

"KP, I thought I saw... I... Nothing," said Ron, and Drakken heard him retreat, hesitantly by the sound.

"Nice, pfft," came Shego's voice in his ear. He glared. "So how's under the bed?"

"Not as bad as the laundry," he whispered and slid out from under the bed.

"So how's looking for your Erector... I mean Enhancer... Wait, was it Enlarger?" asked Shego. She sounded jovial.

"Stop being so smug, I need to find that bag," whispered Drakken as he began looking around, opting for the closet.

"The bag? Her bag of mission stuff? That bag? The bag that she keeps everything in?" asked Shego. He heard her filing again. "Kim Possible's bag?"

"Yes," said Drakken. Was Shego trying to quote something?

"The one she's sorting with Stoppable after the movie?" asked Shego with a sigh. "That one's downstairs."

"Feeling smug, are we?" asked Drakken as he glared.

"Oh yeah," said Shego.

Drakken snuck out of the room, sheet firmly placed around him as he did so. It was easy to drop to the ground and be a lump of blankets, then stroll casually around the Possible house. He slowly crept down the back stairs, only to hit his knee on a door-frame with a loud smack and then fall head-first to the ground.

"Fuck," snapped Drakken, clutching his knee.

"What was... Who's there?" came Kim's voice with a panicked yelp from Ron.

"No one!" yelled Drakken, and he slid into a nearby room with his sheet.

"You're an idiot," came Shego's voice in his ear.

Drakken heard Kim and Ron as they begin frantically searching around the house. He took the opportunity to slide behind the pillows of the master bed and blend in with the white sheets. When the door burst open, he remained silent and didn't move. He could hear them opening the closet, looking under the bed, and behind curtains. He was grateful he hadn't hid in those places. Then it was silent.

"Kim, I think your house is haunted," said Ron. Kim groaned. "I saw a white figure dash upstairs and now this."

"My house is not haunted, least of all by one that swears and snarks back to questions," said Kim. "The voice sounded familiar."

"Drakken. It sounded like Drakken. He has a distinct voice," said Ron confidently. "Kind of like Bender from Futurama, just saying. Ghosts mimic people you know, Kim...or is that demons... Kim! What if..."

"Enough Ron," said Kim. "Let's check the attic."

"That's how all paranormal horror movies end, they always check the basement or the attic," said Ron in distress.

"Good idea, you check the basement, I'll check the attic," said Kim. She left the room.

"Why don't I just stop talking," groaned Ron, and he left.

Drakken waited and then slid out from behind the pillows and onto the floor as stealthily as he could. He fiddled with the sheets and made holes to wear it, making sure to hold it up as he walked. As he heard the basement door and the steps in the attic, he slinked down the stairs and into the living room. He was just going to run, just leave...but the bags were right there. He looked around him and then began rifling through Kim's bag. It held gadgets galore, but he just needed...

"Yes!" yelled Drakken as he held up the lipstick.

"Kim!" Ron yelled, or rather screamed as Drakken glanced up to see him in the doorway.

Drakken ran. He sprinted, lipstick in hand as he scurried through the door, not caring that the sheet was lost in the closing door behind him as he ran to the waiting van and dove in. Shego was already driving as he did so. He managed to close the door in mid-turn and they were gone.

"Ron, what is it?" asked Kim. She came running down the stairs as Ron stood in the open doorway looking at a sheet. "What's that."

"A ghost stole your lipstick and then...vanished," said Ron, his eyes wide and shocked.

"Ron... I don't..." Kim looked at the sheet again, and the fact that not a car was anywhere to be heard or seen. "No more horror movies."

"Agreed," said Ron. He gulped.

"I got it, Shego! Now with a few more adjustments... Oh no," said Drakken as they got back to the lair and he looked at the lipstick case.

"It's lipstick, isn't it?" asked Shego with a smirk. She looked him up and down. "How's your knee and hand?"

"Yes, it's lipstick and...Shego?" asked Drakken as Shego held up a lipstick tube casually. "Is that my device?"

"I found it under the seat," said Shego with a devious smirk. "But thanks for the lipstick."

"Shego!" yelled Drakken angrily. "So all that was for, what?"

"For taking my stuff without asking," said Shego. Her smirk grew. "We're still going to Paris."

"Uhg..." he glared and sighed. "Fine."

More Lessons Await →