Dosed and Confused Part 1

The sound of waves crashing on rocks and gulls yelling was the first thing Drakken heard as he began to wake up that morning. His head was spinning as he attempted to open his eyes. At first he thought his vision was impaired before he realized that it was sky he was looking at, dark navy fading into a brilliant ruby, stars dusting the darkest parts. Sunrise. He sat up. The pain in his head knocked harder, and everything seemed to spin. He wiped sand from his face and tried to stand up, but the idea made him want to throw up. His mind was a foggy mess. He could barely recall the week, let alone the previous night. He remembered being banged around a flying Doom-V, sitting in a cell, and then Shego breaking him out. Those were the last images he could recall. His leg and stomach felt heavy, as if there was a weight on them. Drakken blinked at the sunrise. He was so thirsty, and his jaw hurt. As he moved, a sharp pain shot through his arm and back.

"Ah," he groaned, his hand slowly reaching his other arm. It was sore, as if he'd done some sort of damage to it.

His fog began to drift away and his thoughts pushed through. Why was he on a beach? Where was his tank top? He squinted at his arm; was it broken? It was green and purple and it didn't feel or look right. He scratched at his face where it itched. Dried blood flakes came off in his hand. Where were his gloves? Everything seemed to be in a foggy fish vision when he moved his head, taking longer to clear. His chest started pounding, his fog inducing some sort of panic he wasn't familiar with. What the hell happened!? He felt nauseous but was afraid to move. This was all very new.

"Uhg, my head." Drakken spun too quickly to look at the source of the sound.

In a foggy dizzy haze, he found the weight on his leg and waist. Shego's arms were wrapped around his middle, her leg draped over his. He had a strange memory of her spooning him, or at least that's what it seemed like. Shego gave another groan and slowly began to move to sit up. Drakken wanted to give her a hand, but he couldn't really move his arm from the pain. Shego sat up and looked at Drakken, as if trying to piece together who was sitting there. He expected to see her eyes shoot open at the fact they were laying on a beach spooning, but her eyes narrowed and she slowly moved to look around the beach.

"Shego?" asked Drakken. "What happened last night?"

"Eddie happened," said Shego as she glared off towards the road.

Saturday, September 26

"Dude, Cuz, if I had known you were a villain too. I mean, whoa, we could have been doing this sooner," said Motor Ed as he flipped his wrench in the air. "I mean we both got the brains for it, thanks to Gram. The villainy in our blood from Gramps. We should have done this years ago."

"Eddie, why is it I am the one doing all the work?" asked Drakken with an eye-roll, but he followed it with a grin. "So, to get this straight...your colleagues made you a villain? I can relate."

"Nah, I think they just pushed me to that edge, you know, like the final hit I needed, seriously," said Motor Ed, as he took over working on the engine. "Cuz, it can be like high school again. You and I, breaking all the rules, causing the chaos..."

"You taking credit for all my work," muttered Drakken. Ed rolled his eyes.

"Man, you know I did that for you. Aunt Estelle would have hauled off and kicked your ass, seriously," said Ed. He smirked. "Also, the babes... Speaking of babes, what's up with Green?"

"Specify," asked Drakken as he wiped his brow. He glared. "Hold on... Shego, I thought I asked you to turn on the air."

"I'm off the clock," said Shego as she sat in her chair, drinking a Long Island Iced Tea.

"How about a friendly brewsky then," said Ed, indicating to the fridge not far away from her.

"I thought you had plans this weekend with Adrena," said Drakken. He felt sweat drip down his face. "Did you turn on the air?"

"I hit a button," sighed Shego as she got up from her seat and headed to the fridge.

"Aw yeah, hot babe grabbing me a brew. It's a good weekend indeed... Hey," said Ed as Shego tossed Drakken a water and closed the fridge. "Harsh, Green, Harsh."

"Shego, please," said Drakken. Shego rolled her eyes and tossed a beer to Ed. "Thank you. See Eddie, manners help."

"How far has good manners gotten you with the ladies?" scoffed Ed. He rolled his eyes. "Most women don't want manners unless you're meeting their parents. They want to be told, want to be instructed... Owieee! Whoa! Dang, Green, you trying to propose to me or something?"

"Or something," said Shego as her hands diminished and she glared. "Can't you guys just pretend I'm not here and continue your work?"

"Why, Green, ruining your fantasy?" smirked Ed. Drakken shook his head. It was going to be his cousin's funeral if he kept this up.

"Pft, what fantasy," scoffed Shego as she yanked her discarded magazine and flipped it open. "Watching an 80s hairband cliché and Drakken tinkering with motors?"

"Hey, it's your fantasy," said Ed with a wink. "Let me know if you want it to be reality."

"Okay, I'm out," said Shego, tossing down her magazine again. "It's Saturday, I have better places to be."

"Too real for you?" said Ed as Shego flipped him off, stopping by the air conditioner box. "Thought you turned it on."

"I said I pushed a button, " Shego glared, pushing another one before she left. The fans kicked on.

"Yeah, she totally wanted shirtless men working on a car, seriously. I could see it in her eyes," smirked Motor Ed. Drakken rolled his eyes and gave Ed a scathing look. "What? Come on Drew, you can't be that dense."

"Eddie, give it a rest. You know I'd appreciate it if you didn't harass Shego," said Drakken. "For your safety."

"Her little love-taps? Nah Cuz, that's hot, seriously," smirked Ed. "Gotta love a babe who's not afraid to get dirty."

"Seriously, Eddie," glared Drakken. He wasn't sure if it was the warmth of the room, or the annoyance of Eddie's dialect that was causing his anger to flare up.

"Why, something going on there between you two?" asked Ed. The look of disbelief in his eyes irked Drakken, but Drakken shook his head and went back to working on the Doom-V.

"Sweet! Fair game then. Seriously, Cuz, Green's go it all going on..." said Ed.

"Can we work on the Doom-V?!" yelled Drakken. Ed held up his hands in defense.

"Geesh, drop the hostility Cuz, we'll get it done, seriously," said Ed. He smirked. "So when are we going to get that rad chair I told you about?"

Thursday 30th, September

"Thanks for bailing on us Shego," snapped Drakken as he sat in the hover car, glaring.

"Hey, someone had to break you two idiots out," said Shego. Ed sat close to her, and her brow furrowed. The week had been a total roller coaster of annoyance.

Drakken glared over the side of the hover car, his green jumpsuit torn in places, his hair still loose, and a large green bruise on his cheek. Shego knew her hair was still fried from the insanity of being thrown around a vehicle with Drakken and Ed slamming into her. She shook her head at her own wording, glad she hadn't voiced it that way because while Drakken would take it how she meant it, Ed was another story... She rolled her eyes. It was only three o 'clock, so all in all, the day was still young. She felt like the week had been much longer. Apart from the insane deviance and the fact they were both scientists...Motor Ed and Drakken were practically night and day.

"So Babe, the night is young. Why don't we drop off my Cuz and you and I spend some time together?" said Ed with a wink. Shego flipped the hover car, her hand grabbing Drakken before he could fall out. "Whoa! Hey!"

"Is he still on?" asked Shego, not looking to see.

"Yes," said Drakken. He was unfazed by Shego's act and remained with his arms crossed.

"Whoa, chill out. Fine, Drew can come too," said Ed, jumping back in his seat. "Seriously, let's go out and paint the town."

"Eddie, we just got broken out of jail. Maybe we should...I don't know...lay low for a day at least," snapped Drakken. He was in a sour mood.

"Geesh, chill out man. Don't get your panties in a bunch. Come on Green, I know you're fun. I can sense it," said Ed with a smirk.

"Nope. Complete homebody, right Dr. D.?" asked Shego, glancing at Drakken. She squinted at him.

"Sure," said Drakken. She saw a lazy smirk on his lips and she groaned. "I don't even think she's been to a club before. Classic all-American girl, Eddie. Does laundry... Cooks..."

"Okay, shut it," sighed Shego. "Fine, we can go out for the night. But we're all going and nothing weird."

"Define weird," said Ed, a grin on his lips.

"This... This is weird," said Shego, pointing at an octopus wrestling contest going on.

"Why?" asked Drakken, just as disturbed as Shego she was sure.

"Hey, it's some new thing they're trying, okay. Used to be alligator but Joe lost a hand and cops got involved," said Ed as he slapped his hand on the counter. "Some rounds here, Ted!"

"Eddie, nice seeing you here. Didn't you just get arrested on the news?" asked a tall bartender as he opened up a fridge.

"Yeah. My babe here busted me out," said Ed. He put his arm around Shego. Drakken rolled his eyes, but smirked when Shego yanked an arm hair out of Ed. "Yeow!"

"I'm not your babe. Shot of Daniels," said Shego. "Ed's paying. Dr. D.?"

"Just a soda," said Drakken. He wasn't in the mood and someone had to drive.

"Lame, Cuz. Make it a Flaming Doctor," laughed Ed. "Right Cuz?"

"He'll have a soda," snapped Shego, rolling her eyes. "Coke."

"Chill it Green, I think I know my cousin better than you," scoffed Ed. "You know what you need. A Kamikaze! Make us a pitcher Ted!"

"No," said Drakken firmly. The last thing he wanted was to indulge in that chaos.

"What's that?" asked Shego with a raised brow. "Is that like a Cosmopolitan?"

"Oh, no," laughed Ed. "Tastes like Kool-Aid, hits you like the Kool-Aid man. Drew's drink of choice in high school."

"Really?" asked Shego. Drakken heard the curiosity in her voice. "You know, up until recently, I didn't know he had an edge back then."

"Don't get too excited. He was still Drew, all books and science. Growing up, he always wanted to play 'mad scientist'... Kinda funny, right?" laughed Ed as he downed the beer he'd been handed. "He was always out causing chaos in high school, never got caught, right Cuz? I took the blame, it got me major cred! Seriously. Some sweet action too. Senior year he tried the whole 'bad boy' look to go with it... Aunt Estelle flipped. You know, that's when I got the title 'black sheep' because she thought I was the bad influence. Seriously, it was great."

"You were the bad influence?" asked Shego, glancing at Drakken. Drakken rolled his eyes but smirked.

"I wasn't a good influence," said Drakken. Shego smirked back at him and raised a brow.

"You know, you never did tell me about the street racing," said Shego, turning to look at Drakken as a pitcher of brilliant blue liquid was placed in front of them.

"You never asked for details," said Drakken. He opened his mouth to start, but was cut off.

"Oh street racing, pfft. So he did a few street races. Seriously, that's easy. I stole a cop car and during the chase, the cops arrested the cop instead of me by accident," said Ed, trying to get Shego's attention again.

"You only stole it because I hotwired it," said Drakken with narrowed eyes.

"Oh please, I could have done the same thing," scoffed Ed.

"You cheated and you know it," snapped Drakken, glaring at Ed as Shego downed her third glass of Kamikaze. She was still sober and the argument had gone from interesting to annoying.

"No, I'm just a better rider than you," scoffed Ed, pointing angrily at Drakken.

"I taught you how to ride!" snapped Drakken. Shego rolled her eyes but raised a brow.

"Yeah, for like a few weeks... And then I perfected it," Ed snapped back. "You rode for one summer, then you got rid of your bike."

"Oh..." There was a crowd now. Shego choked as the bikers in the bar all made a noise of shock.

"I gave it to you," snapped Drakken.

"Aw," came a few people.

"Whatever, Cuz. I am and will always be a better rider than you. It's in my blood," said Ed proudly. Drakken messed up his hair in anger.

"We're cousins! We share DNA!" snapped Drakken.

"Uncle Ted didn't ride. My dad did. Yours was a suit-wearing stick in the mud," snapped Ed. Drakken threw a punch and Shego dodged as the fists flew between the two.

"Whoa! Hey!" yelled Shego. "Knock it off! Seriously!"

Shego let the fighting continue for a second longer before her hands flared green and she sent both men flying to either side of the bar. The two men froze and looked at her, as if assessing what had just happened. It took Drakken far less time to realize it as he stood up and glared at her for a split second before giving an annoyed groan as Ed jumped up. Shego flared her hands again, and Drakken crossed his arms.

"Sorry, Eddie, I don't know why I turned this into an argument," sighed Drakken. "You're a great rider, I'm sure."

"Nah, Cuz. I hit below the belt. My bad, seriously..." said Ed. They both stood there, eyes narrowing slowly.

"I'm still a better rider than you!" the two snapped at each other and Shego groaned.

"You know what... That's it. Next time I'm in town... You. Me. Street race!" snapped Ed. "Seriously. I'd race you now...but some blue dude blasted my ride!"

"Fine, you're on," snapped Drakken. "Shego! Make a date on the calendar."

"Because what, I carry one?" asked Shego. She rolled her eyes. "I thought we were supposed to be out having a good time."

"We're having a good time," said one of the bikers at a table, and the others nodded.

"Good for you," Shego said and rolled her eyes.

"What was in that drink?" asked Shego as a buzz hit her out of nowhere, her head pounding.

"Feeling it?" laughed Ed as he shot his pool cue. "All right Green, you're up."

"When will you two be done so we can play darts again," said Drakken as he sat on the bar stool near them, rubbing his head.

"No more darts," said Ted the bartender, a band-aid on his right arm as he snatched them from Drakken.

"You hit one person," Drakken murmured and watched as Shego hit a ball in. "Aren't you supposed to call it?"

"Aren't you supposed to not stab people with darts," said Shego, shooting a glare at him.

"Well, Green, that's debatable," said Ed. He flexed his arm. "See that there, dart stabbing contest. Freshman year of college. Seriously. I barely remember, but I won."

"Uh huh, and I would be impressed...why?" asked Shego. She rolled her eyes, but flinched.

"Someone's un-buzzing," said Ed. "Ted, another pitcher! Make it with a little extra."

"The whole pitcher?" asked Ted with a raised brow.

"Did you hear me or did Drew get you in the ear too," scoffed Ed, and Ted rolled his eyes. "Best way to cure a hangover, fuel it up, seriously. Bro's being all stingy on the fluid though."

"After this, I say we call it a night," said Drakken as he spun his empty glass. "We have work in the morning, Shego."

"Chill out, I'll be fine," said Shego with an eye-roll. "It's not tequila."

"Tequila. Is that your special poison, seriously? Aw babe, we should get you some tequila," smirked Ed. "I bet it's the best kinda show, seriously."

"A show you will never see," said Shego with a smirk. "Seriously."

"Here you guys go, one special Kamikaze," said Ted with a smirk.

"...He's very odd," said Drakken as he poured another glass.

"Says the person who is the same color of the drink he served us," said Shego, holding her glass to Drakken.

"Are we really bringing up colors tonight, Shego?" asked Drakken, who poured from the pitcher in her glass.

"All right, let's finish this game, seriously." Ed took a swig of the drink. "Man, it's still not strong enough. Bro's gonna charge me extra even, I'm sure. Yo, Ted!"

"What?" asked Ted as Ed went to go talk to him.

"These are pretty good actually," said Shego as she leaned on her cue. "But what time are we ditching Ed?"

"Play one more round with him and then we bail," said Drakken. "This week has worn me out... I should have just done the Doom-V my way."

"Shoulda, coulda, woulda," said Shego, rolling her eyes. "Ignore that I just said that."

"Shego, question," said Drakken. Shego raised a brow as he seemed focused on his glass. "You don't like Eddie, do you?"

"Ed? Motor Ed? Your cousin... The one arguing with the bartender," said Shego with wide eyes. She snorted. "Mullet-head Motor Ed? No, I assure you, I do not."

"That's a relief," sighed Drakken. Shego raised a brow and smirked.

"Why? Would you be jealous, Doc?" smirked Shego as she tousled his hair playfully. Drakken glared and removed her hand.

"No, it'd be just...weird, if you started dating Eddie," said Drakken. He cringed. "Sick and wrong, as the teens say."

"Oh really, is that all?" asked Shego as she reached for her glass. Ed yanked it from her.

"Hey, so, no more drinks guys," said Ed nervously. He picked up the pitcher and glasses. "Seriously."

"Why?" asked Shego as Ed slid the drinks back to a wide-eyed Ted, who looked panicked if she was being honest.

"Eddie?" asked Drakken. Eddie looked nervous for a second and then cleared his throat.

"So like, no big, seriously. But Ted thought when I asked for extra, well, seriously, dude's deaf I swear. But he thought I meant to put a little magic in the drink," said Ed with a grin.

"Excuse me, what?" asked Shego, her eyes wide. Drakken stood up so fast the stool fell over.

"What exactly was put in there, Eddie!?" snapped Drakken.

Oh Snap! →