My Other Worldly Harem Curb Stomp is Wrong as Expected (SNAFU)
Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come wa Machigatteiru is created by Wataru Watari and published by Shogakukan.
Familiar of Zero is made by Noboru Yamaguchi and is published by Media Factory.
Neither is owned by me nor do I have any power over them.
Returning home from such an arduous day should be met with immediate rest. After the quick bite to eat at a quaint little tavern, a cute serving girl who flirted with me and all, we rode back to the academy with little light, so little that Louise ended up falling asleep while driving. Lucky for me the horse knew how to get home, so I didn't have to drive. That would have ended in a mess for sure.
So why after such a long day are there two people in Louise's room who shouldn't be?
Complications In Relationships cannot be Escaped by Hachiman, Even in a New World
The redheaded bombshell known as Kirche was waiting in the desk chair as we arrived back to our room, Louise accepting her new job position as my backpack continued to rest after such a long day.
"Welcome home, Hikitani. Would you like dinner, a bath, or-" What is this infamous scene being played out before me? Her body is tilted in such a way that I can see everything moving, just like Yuigahama. So many distracting movements, this is just too dangerous.
"What can I help you with Kirche and Tabatha, can you get off the bed please?" I can't let whatever game this was take too long. Why is it that every time I interact with this pair something bad is happening? Can't I just have a nice tea and chat?
"Cozy. Waited a long time for you." Tabatha replied, proving her point by laying down flat on the bed and kicking her feet out underneath like a small child.
"Wow, partner. I never expected you to have three partners before me." The piece of metal spoke from my hip.
I flashed my head to him like a child to a cookie jar, eager to end the misinterpretation, "Sensei, I have no relationship with any of these women. Please don't intentionally misread the situation for your amusement."
"He is right, stupid talking sword," I never expected Kirche to come to my rescue but was glad for the assist.
"Thank you," I started, only to be cut off by her continuing her rambling.
"Hikitani is mine and mine alone. I don't feel like sharing him for at least… 3 months at this point." What? What did she mean I was hers and what about sharing? Suddenly, the image of Kirche cuddled up to me on one side as the porcelain skin of… no stop. Bad Hachiman. Lewd thoughts are not what you want to be having right now.
I battled a blush as I fought to control the situation, "Kirche, again. What are you doing here?"
"Well, you see," she started with gusto that only someone who has never been told no to could have, "I bought you a present so that you will be my lover." I am glad it was something reasonable at least. Wait… What? Did she just say? To me? She wanted to. No way. Not happening. I cannot entertain that I heard that right for even a second.
"What?" Is apparently what my brain considered the correct response to that to be.
"I brought you a present so that you would become my lover," she said in the same casual tone that someone would have while discussing the weather, or the result of the last Lotte Marines game. "Tabatha, can you grab it."
"Tired. Heavy," the small girl replied while still reading, never even thinking for a second about compleating the task asked.
"Kirche, please don't," I started, but again, someone cut me off. At this point, why should I even talk? No one lets me finish!
"Partner. I want to see where this goes," Ok. It's official. Derflinger is a pervert trapped in a sword. He is practically drooling at this situation.
"Don't use me in your fantasies, old man!" I shouted at him.
"Old man!" his voice carried a hint of betrayal, "I went from sensei to old man?" I thought I could hear him crying. Wait, those are tears. How does that work?
"Hachiman, I'm trying to sleep," my backpack nuzzled on my neck, as insane heat flooded my cheeks. I had forgotten she was there for a second. Her musing brought me back to what was important, going to sleep.
"Can we do this tomorrow?" I asked defeated.
"No!" Of course, we couldn't. Why would anything be easy? "For tonight I am going to take you back to my room and ravish-"
"Stop please!" "Keep going," me and my new magical pervert sword said in unison. My heart can't handle all of this simultaneously. I know that Europeans are more open about this sort of thing by my poor Japanese self can't take it. Here was among the most beautiful women I had ever met offering to sleep with me after knowing me less than a week. Wait. Didn't this happen with Siesta too? Kami, did you send me to an Ecchi harem universe? Please no! I know where my strengths lie, and something of this caliber is much greater than my weak self can handle.
I walked over and placed Louise on the bed, breaking her vice grip around my neck to do so. How is such a small frame so strong? Once the monkey was off my back she cuddled up to Tabatha, who had tried to make a better time sleeping with her legs on the bed. It seemed that the unwanted guest attached to her hip would not slow the blue-haired girl down at all as she continued to read her small book. Although, I don't think she has turned a page since we got here. And isn't that the same book she has been reading nonstop since I arrived here? Watching the drama unfold while pretending to be busy, is one of my 108 skills on display. I didn't show her, yet I feel proud of my non-tutelage teaching.
"Alright, Kirche, I'll hear you out," I turned to fully face her, straitening my back out of my typical slouch to return to my full height. This immediately showed itself to be a mistake on my part as a flush of heat flooded her cheeks and not one of embarrassment.
"I love you. I want to take you back to my room and-"
"Denied!" I pointed my finger at the women with the intensity of Ac* At*or*ey.
"But why, Hikitani? Am I not pretty enough?" Her eye's reflected the dim magical lights that decorated the small room. They were large and shone with hurt. What even is my life right now? How could she feel anything for me? We met less than a week ago. I might have some level of physical attraction to her, and also felt like she was a good person but at the same time, none of these things had anything in common with my desire to be by her side. And despite what Yukinoshita would say, I would never do that with someone who was not important to me.
Yukinoshita. It was a name I hadn't thought of as much in this world as in my old one. I wish she was here with me right now. She would say something to make this right. Some joke about my depravity, or lack of emotional intelligence. She would have something for me to escape this.
What was it that sensei said? That I had a good idea of what people were thinking but struggled with how they felt. It was for that reason that their decisions were nonsensical in my view. It was something that my "monster of logic" self couldn't calculate but that I need to anyway, to take it to the end and eliminate each falsehood one by one. So, what then is my answer to this? What am I miscalculating, or what variable did I miss, besides the one already told to me by my old (lol) and wise sensei? Emotion. What emotion then is here? What am I missing?
She likes me as a person due to the interactions we had. Standing up to the Hayama-wannabe and being willing to stand by my ideals was enough for an instant infatuation due to my foreign good looks turning into a hotter desire. Such a notion is laughable at best and uninformed at worse.
With Yuigahama and Yukinoshita I had enough interaction to understand why things happened the way they did. Even on that last day I had with them, I knew what was happening even if I did not allow my true thoughts to see the light of day.
The feelings for Yukinoshita that I possessed; how could I explain them? Could they be expressed at all? I felt the only describer for such intence emotion was love. Being here, in this other world, the only thought I could still think of to describe my emotional attachment to her was love. I loved Yukinoshita. I loved her smile. Her wit. The way she could always control everything around her, even if she didn't feel that way herself. Her confidence and attitude, I loved it all. Every bit to the core. What I wanted more than anything else was to be by her side, now and forever, but that was not an option available to me right now. I was ripped away from it before I could finish the calculation.
Before I could save her.
Behind Komachi, leaving that promise unkept is my greatest regret.
Whatever feelings Kirche had for me could not be love. If love is what I had for Yukinoshita then what she had for me could not come close. It had to be infatuation, but I doubt it was from my natural appeal. I am average in appearance, but not-Hayama was more so. I am not brave, or kind.
Could it be this "love" is not for me?
Let's instead suppose that her personal grudge against Louise was so intense that she felt the need to possess any and everything that the smaller girl had, only better. If it were a sense of inferiority masquerading in her feelings instead of genuine affection could that have caused this? If the only way she could feel she had bettered her rival was to steal me from her, then internally she defined that want of me as love.
Too many pieces were missing from the puzzle, and too much didn't connect. I wish I could be alone, to think and reason, to observe and learn, but none of those options exist currently. All I had was these fleeting moments and my own internalized thoughts.
"I got this for you," she said holding the beautiful great sword the scam artist, I mean sword merchant, tried to sell us earlier.
"When did you?"
"Followed," the small girl with blue hair answered from the couch.
Ok. That is weird. I don't like that one bit but this action leads credence to my working theory. Even if I am right though, how do I end this without hurting her? I owed her that much for what she showed me. It was not love, however. More something along the lines of a pure and honest relationship that could form.
What this situation presented was the opposite of genuine. This was a false love built upon a fraudulent pretense. To even consider playing along with the falsehood would be the epitome of hypocrisy. To someone who showed me something so beautiful, I couldn't lie even for the sake of her feelings. She stood there, planted with a confident smile like she had won, only proving my point that none of her feelings were for me, but more for the act of conquest, taking prey from a rival savannah cat.
"I can't give you what you want, Kirche," I finally settled on. What words could I use to be fitting right now?
"What do you mean, Hikitani?" She cocked her head cutely to the side and took a step inside my personal space, an action I was prepared for, or so I thought. Her eyes were so close, so big, hiding nothing.
"Ya, partner. What do you mean." I shut him up by slamming his hilt against the sheath we had gotten. I felt him try to speak so I kept my hand there tight. I needed to focus right now.
"How can I reply to your feelings honestly, Kirche? I don't know you do I?" I started.
"We know enough, my love!" She shouted back causing Louise to stir on her bed.
"No, Kirche. We don't." Coming to this world did not change anything. I was not someone to change easily, I said as much that first day in the clubroom. Despite many of the things I said in that not-too-distant past being cringe-inducing, being true to myself was not one of them.
"What in the name of the founder is going on here!" and just when I thought it could not get worse a wild Louise appeared from the tall grass.
In a bit of passion, since my hours were cut with the new quarter beginning, I give my third update in the last week. I hope everyone likes it! I hope the title of the last chapter makes a little more sense now.