To "Guest99": Sorry, I had to delete your review because of my profanity policy, but I still appreciate your question. You asked why Lynn Sr., as a man himself, tolerated Rita's extreme bias against raising boys. The answer is simple: this version of Lynn Sr. is a spineless doormat! He's so insecure that he easily bends to the will of others, so he does anything his wife tells him without question. I hope that was enough of an explanation for you.
As for the other reviewers who have all asked the same question in one form or another, Rita is delusional. In her eyes, girls can't be anything less than perfect, and this applies to tomboys like Lynn Jr. and Lana. No matter how gross or crude a girl can be, Rita's delusion would likely brush off at least Lana's behavior as a passing phase caused by boys like Lincoln (or rather, boys in general) being a bad influence.
Chapter 9
A couple days later, Ken and Blanca were once more eating lunch at school with the older Loud girls.
"So, how's Lincoln settling in?" Lori asked.
"Oh, just wonderfully!" Blanca replied with a smile. "I believe he is starting to view us and Gil as something of a second family. Have no fear; he still cares deeply for the ten of you girls."
"Yeah, all he ever does is talk non-stop about all of you," Ken added. "He just refuses to talk about your parents."
"Speaking of which, did you ever find anything about Lincoln's birth parents?" asked Luna.
"Not yet. An agent of the Plumbers will be arriving this afternoon to administer a Galvan-made DNA test, though," Blanca told them before standing up. "Excuse me for a moment. I need to use the lavatory."
"How come your girlfriend always sounds so prim and proper when she talks?" Lynn asked Ken after Blanca walked away.
"It's mostly her culture," Ken replied. "Most Revonnahganders think contractions are a form of profanity. She knows other planets are different, though, so she doesn't have a problem with Gil and me using contractions around her."
There was suddenly a commotion near the entrance to the cafeteria. One of the sports jocks who had a reputation as a "player" had Blanca backed into a corner and was hitting on her. Blanca herself was looking more uncomfortable by the second. The Loud girls all looked at Ken, who only smirked as he watched and sipped at his smoothie.
"Well? Aren't you gonna step in?" Lori asked.
Instead of directly replying, Ken swallowed his sip of smoothie and started counting down.
"Three...two...one..."
Right as Ken's countdown finished, the jock who'd been hitting on Blanca screamed as he sailed across the room and landed head-first in a trash can. Blanca herself was breathing heavily, her face flushed with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Closing her eyes, she took a moment to regain her composure before glaring at the trash-covered jock as his friends extracted him from the trash can.
"I strongly suggest that you refrain from making amorous advances in the future. I will not be as merciful the next time this happens," she stated plainly before marching off to her original destination.
"I've never needed to step in when these things happen," Ken told the dumbfounded Loud girls. "As you can see, Blanca can take care of herself. She was top of our class at the Plumber Academy for a reason!"
...
Back with Lincoln and Gil, the two had gone to a nearby park and were playing catch with a football. For Lincoln's sake, Gil made sure to dial down his Tetramand super-strength. Though at one point, he slipped up and threw the football too hard. It flew all the way to the far side of the park and landed in the middle of the street.
"Don't worry, I can get it!" Lincoln assured him before running off. He reached the edge of the park and looked both ways. Satisfied that there were no cars coming, Lincoln ran into the street to retrieve the ball.
His blood ran cold when he heard the squeal of tires.
Looking up, he saw a large pickup truck come around the corner and fishtail for a moment before gunning the motor and racing toward him. Lincoln was a total deer in the headlights; he couldn't move, morph, or do anything else to protect himself. The truck was far enough away that it would take at least a few seconds to reach him.
Gil suddenly appeared between Lincoln and the oncoming vehicle, in which there was a crazed-looking yet oddly familiar woman behind the wheel. Gil remained totally calm and held up his two left hands with the palms out, like he was a crossing guard directing traffic. The woman behind the wheel refused to stop or slow down, instead continuing to barrel straight toward them.
When she was almost on top of them, Gil roared, "RED MEANS STOP!" and smashed his two right fists down on the hood, causing the truck to flip end-over-end like a coin. Despite being right-side-up when it landed behind them, the truck couldn't drive away because Gil had totaled the engine. Thus, the disoriented woman opened the driver's-side door to escape on foot.
"GO BACK TO YOUR OWN PLANET, ALIEN FREAKS!" she screamed, breaking into a half-run, half-stumble. Gil turned around and looked down at Lincoln, who had fallen over in shock.
"You okay, li'l dude?" Gil asked and offered his two right hands to Lincoln. The white-haired boy replied in the affirmative but looked at Gil's hands in confusion.
"Which, um...which hand do I-?"
"The top one. Always the top one unless I say otherwise," Gil replied. Lincoln shrugged and grasped Gil's top right hand, allowing him to help him up. "I think we should take a breather and go get some lunch. Know any good burger joints around here?"
...
A few minutes later, Lincoln and Gil were sitting at one of the outdoor patio tables of The Burpin' Burger. Gil ordered the biggest burger combo on the menu for himself, while Lincoln settled for his personal favorite, the Barbecue Bacon Belcher.
"So...how're you holding up? With everything else as well as that road rage incident?" Gil asked.
"As far as the crazy truck lady goes, I'm just a little rattled," Lincoln replied, absently fiddling with his French fries. "With the rest...honestly, now that my parents have shown their true colors, it feels like a huge weight's been taken off my chest. I guess I always kinda knew they were overlooking me on purpose. I mean, I don't remember either of them ever saying they loved me. I spent years trying to accomplish something that would make me stand out from my sisters and make my parents proud of me. But whenever I had a special event, they always had either a convenient excuse for ditching me, or a reason to force me to attend one of my sisters' events instead. I just felt so...useless living in my sisters' shadows for so long. But then...everything changed the day I discovered my powers. Suddenly, everything goes topsy-turvy, and my life has meaning again. I don't know what I'd have done if Blanca hadn't found me that day."
Gil was speechless.
"Wow. That...that's deep, man," he finally said. "I'm kinda jealous in a way, because I only had my mom growing up, and she was always busy with her duties as Queen of the Tetramands. My old man, Kevin Levin, was never part of my life growing up, but Mom always considered him to be her ideal mate. I wasn't even conceived naturally; after Dad rejected Mom and married my stepmom, Gwen, Mom asked the Plumber scientists to splice Dad's DNA with hers, and that's how I was born. So I feel you, in a way; only I was trying to measure up to my parents instead of the siblings I don't have."
They finished eating and went back to Gil's house, where Gil confessed to Lincoln that he was hooked on The High-Stakes Adventures of Ace Savvy. They watched a few episodes of the superhero cartoon until the doorbell rang. Gil answered it, and standing on a levitating platform level with his chest were Blukich and Driba, arguably the two dumbest Galvans in existence.
"Are you the one who ordered a DNA test?" Driba asked, squinting at the miniscule clipboard in his hands.
"Yup! C'mon in," Gil replied and stepped aside, allowing Blukich to steer the platform into the living room. "Hey, Linc! I want you to meet someone," Gil announced. "These guys are Blukich and Driba, and they're gonna administer a special DNA test to figure out who and what your biological parents are. Are you okay with that?"
"Sure. I've been kinda curious myself," Lincoln admitted and approached the two Galvans. "So, what do you need? Blood? Hair? Saliva?"
"Oh, no, these Galvan-made tests are much too advanced to accept biological samples," Blukich replied dismissively.
"Yeah, all you need to do is hold still," Driba added, typing a command into his keyboard. A scanner popped out of their floating platform, and a green beam scanned Lincoln's body from top to bottom. The scanner vanished and was replaced by a hologram projector that displayed a screen covered in binary code.
"Alright, we should have results in three...two...one...," Blukich counted down, then the binary code was replaced with the results in English.
...
Name: Lincoln Loud
Age: 11 Earth years
Species: Human/Osmosian Hybrid
...
"HA! I knew it! You are part Osmosian!" Gil cried out triumphantly.
"Can it, will ya? More results are coming!" Driba snapped impatiently.
...
Biological Mother: Rochelle Ramsey
Species: Human
Status: Deceased
Cause of Death: Complications During Childbirth
...
"Okay, at least now I know Mom was telling the truth after all," Lincoln said, frowning in displeasure at memories of the woman who raised him.
"Hold your horses! One set of results left!" said Blukich.
...
Biological Father: Kevin E. Levin
Species: Osmosian
Status: Deceased in Absentia
Cause of Death: Unknown
...
Everyone's jaws collectively dropped. Sure, Gil had his suspicions, but the results still came as a shock to him. Lincoln was likewise floored, as were Blukich and Driba. Finally, they all looked at Gil, who looked down at Lincoln with the broadest grin he could muster.
"BROTHER!" he shouted, and Lincoln was swept into a bone-crushing hug with all four of Gil's arms before he could react. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I FINALLY HAVE THE BROTHER I ALWAYS WANTED!"
"G-Gil...can't...breathe!" Lincoln squeaked, his face turning blue from the lack of oxygen.
"Oops! My bad, li'l dude," Gil sheepishly apologized and set Lincoln down. "Or should I call you li'l bro?"
"Whatever you want, dude. Just please don't do that again without warning me!" Lincoln wheezed.
Once they got over their initial shock, Blukich and Driba went on to ask Lincoln numerous questions regarding what he knew of his heritage and the development of any abilities related to the Osmosian half of his heritage. They recorded his answers to their questions for what they claimed was documentational purposes, which seemed to reassure a slightly unnerved Lincoln. Gil, on the other hand, knew what they really wanted; even though their department was relatively low on the totem pole, Blukich and Driba ultimately answered directly to Ben, Gwen, and Rook, just like the rest of the Plumbers. No doubt Rook had passed the word along to both of his partners, and all three of them were expecting a complete report of the Galvans' findings.
After Blukich and Driba departed, Lincoln got a phone call from his sister Lisa. She informed him that she was able to pull some strings and get his suspension from school lifted. He would be able to return as soon as he felt like he was ready.