I4.6

Chapter 15: Obsessive & Compulsive

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Adult themes. DO NOT read if you are underage or dislike controversial things.

Author's Note: Most of this was written at work. Shhh! Don't tell my boss. Thanks.

"R-O-B-I-N!" Starfire's sing-song voice hits his ears as he puts together a sandwich in the kitchen. It's been a long day and it's only 1 in the afternoon. He was on his way to the command room when he passed by the kitchen and felt his stomach rumbling. It seems as though his appetite is back, which is a good sign.

He can feel her at his back as he smears mayo on his freshly toasted slices of bread. He glances behind him to see her trying to peer over his shoulder. "Hey Star. You want a sandwich, too?"

"That would be nice. Extra vinegar for me!" she says. Richard finds himself cringing a bit before reaching for the bag of bread. Starfire has always had a strange and somewhat...aggressive sense of taste. It was one of the reasons why they could never share a meal together, especially on a date. He had tried to take one for the team when they had their first "date" that wasn't really a date. Couldn't stomach more than two bites of whatever concoction she had asked the chefs to whip up in the kitchen. Richard idly wonders what her stomach acid is made up of as he places 4 more slices of bread in the toaster.

"How is friend Beastboy doing?" she asks quietly. A block of cheese in one hand and some tartar sauce in the other. She makes her way to the counter so that she can stand besides him and waits for her slices to finish toasting.

"He's stable for now. Cyborg had to tranquilize him so that he can stop moving and shifting," Richard supplies as he continues to put together his sandwich.

"What do you mean by shifting?" she asks. He had forgotten that she was not there with Rachel and himself when Beastboy lost control of his abilities. Remembering his subordinate's whimpering and painful groans made Richard feel remorseful for drugging him. He hadn't thought that it would have such a negative affect on him. When he had tested the drug on himself, he just felt really sleepy and there was a disconnect between what his mind told his body to do and what his body did. He hadn't really factored in the fact that he doesn't have a super power or that Beastboy's abilities are not native to his person. Unlike Rachel and Starfire, he was born normal but was injected with a serum by his parents to save his life. Richard contemplates how much of that influences his current reaction to the drug. Would it be more efficient on someone who was born with their special powers?

Richard side eyes Starfire with a thoughtful look on his face. She is laying her toasted bread out on the plate before her. Working on putting her lunch together while she waits for his answer. He is entranced by her long, feminine fingers curling around the handle of the butter knife as she liberally spreads her condiments on the toast. Richard explains, "He's having problems shifting. He can't seem to shift all the way into one animal. And it seems to be causing him pain."

She frowns in confusion from his words, "So, do you mean, he starts shifting but then stops?"

"Something like that. There was a moment where he started changing into a tiger, but his hands grew talons and feet shifted into hooves. It was a scary sight. I know it has Rachel really concerned," Richard responds.

Starfire's eyes narrow a bit at the mention of Rachel's name. Suspicion overriding her concern for her teammate. She hadn't realized that the team's emapth hung back when she and Cyborg left the room. That means that the two birds were in the medic bay with an unconscious Beastboy for quite some time. She wonders what they were doing or talking about.

"I am sure. We are all very concerned, but friend Raven must be extra worried," she says. The strong smell of vinegar permeates the air as she pours a decent amount on her sandwich. "They have gotten closer over the last couple of days."

Yes. So you like to constantly remind me, Richard thinks to himself with a slight frown. He responds with, "That makes sense since they have been working together for many years."

"Sure, but that's not the kind of closer I'm talking about," she says while wiggling her eyebrows with a sly smile tugging at her lips.

"Rachel told me that she doesn't feel that way about him. That they are just friends," and that is all they will stay. He'll make sure of it.

Starfire pinches off a piece of cheese and braces her hip against the counter top. "Of course that's what she'd tell you! She wouldn't be comfortable with making of the girl talk with you. Robin, you're a boy!"

Richard is frowning a little to himself because he knows that there is truth in her words. He is, undoubtedly, the closest person to Rachel, but there are limits to their relationship. As a man, she wouldn't be too keen on talking about boys with him. Not to mention how she complains about his over protectiveness. This also means that Rachel has been sharing quite a bit of this "girl talk" time with Starfire. He wonders what they have been talking about and how often the conversation centers around him. He also wonders what deep dark secrets she has been sharing with the alien princess while they paint their nails.

A quick glance at Starfire's fingers confirm that her nails are, in deed, painted a glittery green. It complements her eyes. "So...are you saying that there are things that I don't know about my Rachel?"

Her left eye twitches a bit at the word "my" and Richard feels vindicated. If she thought she was going to make him feel jealous about the friendship between the two girls, then she has another thing coming. Starfire turns her full attention to him and says "I know that I know things about her that you don't."

Did he detect a challenge in her tone? He did not like that one bit. It is one thing to challenge his leadership choices, but to target his relationship with his most precious person is a downright call to war. "Well...since you know so much about her...tell me something that I don't know."

"Nah-ah, Robin! I'm not falling for the oldest trick in the book," she says as she wags her finger at him. "Raven would not like it if I spilled her beans. To you, no less."

"That's because there are no secrets," he responds with a chuckle. "We've spent many nights together, Star. I know just about everything there is to know about her."

The suggestiveness of that statement was not lost on the alien princess. It shows in the way that her lips turned down and a hint of sadness creeps into her eyes. He wasn't deliberately trying to hurt her with his relationship to Rachel or his clear preference for the team's empath, but she did start this with her insinuations.

Starfire shakes her head and looks at Richard again. He is a little put off by how critically she is assessing him. He is used to her puppy dog eyes that practically beg him to pay attention to her. There was none of that here. Her head is tilted to the side as her index finger taps rhythmically against the counter top. Analyzing him with fresh eyes. Richard watches her, looking at him as he bites one corner of his sandwich. It was all he could do to come off as nonchalant as possible.

"You know, Robin, even though you're close to friend Raven you're not the one she feels the most comfortable telling everything to," Starfire says evenly. "There are just some things that can only be shared with other women."

While Richard may not want to admit the truth in this statement, he couldn't ignore it either. "Yea. I guess you're right. I only know the biology of periods."

Starfire gives a little huff at his admission, "It goes deeper than just periods, dear Robin. The talk of boys is not something friend Raven wants to share with someone like you."

Someone like me? "What's that supposed to mean," asks a progressively more annoyed Richard. "She knows that she can talk to me about anything."

Starfire nods her head before replying, "She knows that, but that does not mean that she is comfortable with telling you anything. She's told me that you act like an over protective big brother and that she is afraid of how you will react if she tells you too much. That's what the talk of girls is for."

Big brother. Is that what she sees him as? A familial authority figure who doesn't want her to get hurt? There's nothing platonic about the way his body reacts her presence. The way his eyes hone in on the delicately graceful way that she moves herself through time and space. Or the sound of her voice on a lazy Sunday morning as they enjoy a cup of tea and a late breakfast. The smell of her freshly washed hair after a particularly sweaty training session. Or the way her toes curl when she is nibbling on a chocolate covered pocky stick. Are these really the things that a "brother" would notice? Should notice? "Brothers" shouldn't be spending their free time wondering about what it would be like to fall asleep nestled between their "sister's" warm thighs. This isn't an irreverent porno. What are you doing step-bro?!

"I am very protective of her, Star. You know why. She doesn't have the best history with the men in her life," Richard says. "You remember Malchoir and you know her family history."

"I do, Robin. I do. But on the other side of the coin, she can't develop positive relationships with men if you are constantly...looming over her," Starfire retorts. Looming. Interesting word choice. That implies that Richard is casting a dark shadow over Rachel's ability to interact with others. That he's holding her back. Why can no one else see that she is too good for these boys who act like men. She deserves someone who knows what's best for her and is willing to put her first. He's the only one qualified for that job. He was there. He bore witness to the trails and tribulations of her life that created the woman everyone looks up to today. They all see her strength and wisdom, but he is the only one who should ever see her weaknesses. He's seen the grief, wiped the tears and heard her sobs of anguish. She is too good, too fragile for this shit storm of a world.

"I don't stop her from making friends. I just found out about this dude named Bryce, the other day," the team's leader says thinking about the tanned man with the handsome features. He seemed to pick up the message that Richard was laying down pretty quickly. It had never occurred to him that Rachel would be interested in a trans man for companionship and maybe love? It appears as though he will have to be even more mindful of the "friends with ulterior motives" she decides to entertain in the future.

"Yes...she told me about that meeting," Starfire says with some hesitation in her voice while taking her now completed sandwich to the kitchen table.

"Why did you say it like that?" Richard asks as he toasts more slices of bread. "What did she say about it?"

"She called you a block headed jock," Starefire innocently says. Richard pauses his creation of two more sandwiches and turns to look at her. He scoffs a bit at the word choice. A block headed jock? Him? Sure, he's athletic and can be stubborn sometimes, but he's not a block head. Richard thinks of himself as a very rational man who wants what's best for all members of his team and his community at large. He, especially, wants what's best for his Rachel. Even if she doesn't realize that it's what she needs in the moment.

"I think I agree with her, friend Robin," Starfire says as she chews in a contemplative manner. The smell of her sandwich tickling his nose in a mildly unpleasant way.

"That I'm a block headed jock?" he asks.

"Yes. I don't think you can see that side of yourself. You are a good person but sometimes you can be very single minded. Like with Slade. When you focus in on something, it's like you get stuck until you accomplish that thing," she responds. Her pretty face is scrunched up in concentration. Trying to think of the words that best describe her team's leader.

Richard continues putting together lunch when he says, "It sounds like you're saying that I have an obsessive compulsive disorder."

It wouldn't be the first time that he's had that term applied to him. Starfire's pretty feminine voice replies with, "I'm not quite sure what that means, but all of the words seem to apply."

Her response causes Richard to laugh at the candidness of her words. Starfire is a newcomer to this planet and is unaware of many of their words and customs, but one thing he will always appreciate her for is owning up to when she doesn't know or understand something.

"Obsessive compulsive disorder means that I have moments where I become very fixated on one thing. It also means that I live my life around rituals and if those rituals aren't completed then I become very anxious," is the short handed response he gives her. This particular mental disorder has many more layers to it than just that, but neither one of them really wanted a crash course at this present moment.

"Friend Robin, that sounds a lot like you," she says as she finishes her lunch and sips on her water bottle. He nods in agreement.

"There are levels to OCD. Some people's disorder are milder than others and some days are more aggressive than others. I do have a routine, but I don't become overly anxious when it's broken or fixate on something to the point of destruction. I wouldn't be able to survive as a superhero if that were the case," Richard defends himself. He hasn't been diagnosed with the ailment, but he does recognize some behaviors may match. While his current focus is on Rachel and what she needs...what they need...he doesn't quite see his actions as destructive. More like a necessary evil.

"But Robin, you do become more aggressive when something interrupts your schedule or plans. And, well, Slade," Starfire says from the doorway of the kitchen. "If I remember correctly, your obsession with Slade was the reason why Raven tried to help you when she entered your mind. We've all noticed it from time to time."

Richard frowns at her off handed comment. She makes it sound as though he is unstable, which is clearly not the truth. Her voice disrupts his thoughts when she says, "I'm going back to the command room now. The city is pretty quiet. There's no activity that I can see going on."

He watches her beautifully toned and sculpted back walk out of the kitchen door. Her lovely red mane flowing behind her as she moves. Almost like she has movie star wind following her. Before she is completely gone from his sight, she turns around and says, "Oh, and friend Robin! You need to give her space so that she can grow and become her own person. The more you cling to her, the more she feels like running away."

You should take some of your own advice, Star, Richard thinks to himself. One of the reasons why he feels like he wouldn't be able to pursue the princess is just how much time and attention she demands. He was concerned that there wouldn't be space for anything or anyone else. He wouldn't be able to take care of Rachel like he should. He didn't like having to choose, but if it came down to it, he would always pick his baby bird.

Richard is left standing in the kitchen with his thoughts running in circles. The idea of Rachel wanting to run away from him was obnoxious. There is no reason for her to want to do that. He's been nothing but supportive of her throughout the years. Sure, he's heavily involved in her life, but that is to be expected since they are teammates and very close friends...soon to be entwined lovers. There is no way around this nor can she avoid this. Richard has made up his mind and if his history is any indication of his attitude and work ethic, he will find a way to make it happen. He realizes that his behavior might seem obsessive to some, but it is not. He has a goal and is willing to do whatever it takes to achieve it. Some might see his drugging of Beastboy as a sign of compulsion, but it is not. He is in complete control of himself and his decisions. His subordinate posed a very real threat to his relationship with Rachel and was over stepping his boundaries. This required Richard to step in and put a stop to it. While he feels kind of bad for the way that the changeling reacted to I4.6, he does not regret his actions. Not only was he able to put the rebellious teen in his place, but he was also able to gain very valuable insights into how the drug works on someone who is not born with their powers.

While Richard is confident that the green beast will back away from Rachel, he is not so sure that Rachel will back away from the green beast. He had noticed how hurt she sounded when she thought that Beastboy was aggressive and agitated towards her because he didn't like her or was upset with her. I wonder what gave her that idea? Did something else happen between the two teammates that he doesn't know about? Starfire just made it painfully clear that Rachel doesn't tell him everything like he thought she did. She even called him a block headed jock. Richard scoffs out loud at that term. Slightly offended by being stereotyped in such a way. She's out here talking shit to Starfire and he's in the kitchen making her lunch because she must be hungry by now.

Richard finishes fixing both sandwiches and two glasses of iced tea. Extra ice in one of them. He puts the lunches on a tray and begins carrying them down the hallway to Rachel's room. When he gets to her door, he balances the tray in one hand and uses the other to quietly knock. She probably already knows that he's standing outside, anyway. Her lovely voice calls for him to enter and he smiles a little. Even though she may think he's overbearing, he still loves her the most and he'll make sure that she returns the feeling.

He had expected her to be floating in the air in a meditative posture, but she is sitting at her desk in her standard superhero leotard. Bending over to pull on her dark blue boots. Violet hair swaying with each of her movements. Where does she think she's going?

"I've brought you lunch," Richard calmly says as he steps fully into her room. "Where are you going?"

Rachel stands to her full height and wiggles her feet in both boots before looking at him. She is frowning a little at his tone before providing, "I have too much nervous energy to burn. I'm going on a short patrol before my shift with Beastboy."

Richard definitely did not approve this, but knows that if he were to say something now, then an argument would ensue. She's too worked up by all of the changes in the team's dynamics in recent days and especially concerned about the young man that she has been getting close to. Richard has to actively stop himself from grinding his teeth in frustration at her audiacity. She wasn't asking for permission, but telling him that she is leaving.

"If you think you must...but before you go, eat some lunch. It's already past 1," he says as he places the tray of sandwiches on her desk. He lays her lunch to the side and glances up in time to see her back is turned to him as she finishes getting ready. She doesn't have her cape on and Richard's gaze eats into the vision before him. The black spandex of her leotard is stretching across the slender expanse of her upper back. Hugging her body like another layer of skin. The material crawls down her back and dips into the curve of her lower spine before reaching her hips. The armored spandex is stretching close to its breaking point as it struggles to cover the width of her hips and her heart shaped ass. Both cheeks look plump and more inviting than he would like to admit. Does he spy some redness peeking through on the edge of her right cheek? His right hand twitches with the memory of what it felt like to make contact with the round firmness of her flesh. This morning's sparring match feels so long ago, but in reality, it has only been a few hours.

The slight spasm in one thigh as she shifts her weight from one leg to another causes Richard to drag his gaze lower to the pale legs that love to taunt him. For such a short woman, she does have beautiful legs. Lovely legs that will feel like heaven thrown over his shoulders, when he uses his body weight to fold her in half. Make her knees touch her ears and hear her whimpers fill the air. Those legs are the thing that dreams are made of and those dreams will become his reality. It is just a matter of when. When she yields to his desires he knows that his raging emotions can finally be at peace.

Richard is practically hypnotized as Rachel shifts her weight again and places one leg behind the other. He watches, entranced, as her hips pivot, her waist turns, her breasts and shoulders follow the fluid motion of her body until she is fully facing him. His eyes continue their upward journey until they make it to her face. Her expression is a mixture between confusion and unease. He isn't hiding his gaze like he normally would. He doesn't blink or look away. Instead, he is staring at her with a look of appreciation and hunger that she is not used to seeing from him. Until recently, Richard has been very careful not to allow these feelings to shine through too brightly. They were always a part of his silent musings that he only ever entertained on quiet, lonely nights; never in broad daylight, much less, in the presence of the inspiration. He made sure that they were always fleeting thoughts that he did not dwell too long on for fear that she would be able to pick up on the emotions that those fantasies would bring. However, he just couldn't find it in himself to care anymore. There was something about watching her drink from a plastic water bottle that broke down any resolve that he had at keeping their relationship platonic.

How was he supposed to keep his thoughts safe when looking at her simple black leotard made him want to hook his finger into the crotch and pull the fabric to the side? How easy would it be to pin her beneath him again and use his tongue to explore one pair of lips while his fingers play with the other? How easy would it be for any one of their enemies? That thought has Richard's mood shifting again from lustful to angry. His brows are furrowing at the thought of how dangerously simple it would be to divest her of her clothing. The only real thing protecting her from the prying eyes of the world is her cape and the only thing protecting her body from the grubby hands of her enemies are her powers.

"We need to get you a better hero costume," Richard says in disapproval. "This one isn't practical, at all."

As Richard was intensely absorbing the vision before him, Rachel was hustling to wrap herself up in the comfort of her cape and away from her leader's predatory gaze. He knew that she uses it like a security blanket. It hides all of her features from the world and when she pulls the hood over her head, she can become one with the darkness. She once told him that it was easier to harness her powers that way. Once the clasp of her cape is secure and the material is cascading down her body, she replies, "It was never a problem before."

"You were younger before. Now that you're older and more...developed...maybe something that provides a little more coverage?" Richard offers. "Maybe a reinforced suit with pants? You know...so your legs don't get cold."

Preferably baggy pants with a cape. That would put Richard's mind at ease. She quirks an eyebrow and says "I rarely ever get old. Besides, Starfire wears less."

"Starfire can shoot literal fire from her limbs. I know she can stay warm," Richard says as he pushes the plate of food closer to Rachel. "Eat lunch before you go on patrol."

She looks at the sandwich and turns up her nose a little. Richard doesn't take offense to the action because he knows that his Rachel loses her appetite when she feels stressed. This has caused fluctuations in her weight throughout the years, especially when she is having a depressive episode. He went out of his way to make her lunch and he intends to see her eat it.

"Rachel…," he says with an authoritative tone to his voice, "you need to eat this before you go on patrol."

She looks like she wants to argue, but she also realizes that there is logic to what he is asking. Breakfast was a while ago and lunch time has already passed. Her mind might not register that she is hungry, but her body needs the fuel. So, with a small sigh, she plops herself down on her desk chair and gingerly picks up her sandwich. Richard made sure to add extra cheese because he knows that's how she likes it. As she is nibbling on her lunch she looks at Richard and asks, "You're not going to eat yours?"

"This isn't mine. I ate with Starfire in the kitchen. This sandwich is for Cyborg. I don't think he's eaten all day," Richard says while picking up the tray. He notices that she is careful to make sure that her cape covers all parts of her body and that she is only using one hand to eat. He is a little saddened by the fact that he doesn't get to enjoy looking at her beautiful body before he leaves, but understands that his heighten attention makes her uncomfortable… for now. It's only a matter of time before she becomes used to his intensity and begins to crave it.

"How is Starfire doing?," Rachel inquires as she takes another bite of her sandwich. The first nibble made her realize how hungry she really is.

"She's okay. Worried like the rest of us, but she is keeping an eye on the city in the command room," he answers. He decides to poke a little fun at the empath by saying, "We had an interesting conversation. She told me that you think I'm a block headed jock."

His teasing smile widens a little when she chokes on a bite of her sandwich. It wasn't the worse insult to be called, but he can see that he caught her off guard. She glances away from him as she sips some ice tea to usher the food down her throat. "I called you that because you can be a little annoying sometimes."

"Oh?…"

She clears her throat before continuing, "It's because you're stubborn and you think that you're always right."

"But Rachel, aren't I usually right?" he asks as he shifts the tray to his left hand.

She rolls her eyes. She can't refute the fact that he usually does make the "right" decisions in most cases. It's the reason why he is such an effective leader. The fact that he knows this and gloats about this is what rubs the team members the wrong way. While he waits for her answer, he enjoys watching her chew. Her round cheeks are filled with food, causing them to puff out like an adorable chipmunk. The muscles that connect her jaw to the rest of her skull are moving fluidly as she thoughtfully stares into space. Thinking about his question. A small, pink tongue darts out of her mouth to lick the residue of food off of her lips. He has to fight the urge to put down his tray and use both of his hands to cup her full cheeks and make her look at him while she chews. Stroke her hair with affection as she nourishes herself with the food he has brought her. Quench her thirst with what he has provided. Like a pet that is his alone. To have. To hold. To care for. Till death do they part. His.

"You do make rational choices, Dick, but I'm not always convinced they are the right ones," she says. Breaking him out of his trance. She is half way through her meal and taking another drink of ice tea. Her throat readily swallowing the cool liquid.

"Emotions are important, but major life decisions shouldn't be based on them. History has taught us that it hardly ever ends well," he replies as he watches her tongue lap up a drop of liquid. He should leave. Cyborg must be starving by now. He makes his way to the door with the tray of food balanced in one large hand. As he reaches for the knob to let himself out, Rachel's deep angelic voice calls out.

"Thank you, Dick. I didn't realize how hunger I was."

He nods once as he steps over the threshold. Before the door can swing close, he says, "You're welcome, beloved."

Her thanks just reinforces Richard's belief that she needs him in her life. She has never been very good at taking care of her own needs. All too often, she will neglect herself for what she thinks is the greater "good" or as some sort of penitence. As though being the daughter of a demon somehow means that she is unworthy and must atone for crimes that she did not commit. The sins of her father are not hers to bear. This is why she needs him. She would not last long without his guidance. Without his companionship. Without his love. If he was not there to talk her away from the path of darkness then she would have succumbed to her own self doubt and insecurities a long time ago. There is no telling what kinds of havoc the daughter of Trigon could wreck on the human world. He was doing this for the good of humanity.

Richard reaches the doors of the medic bay and takes a deep breath. Rachel is Richard's responsibility, but the rest of the team belongs to Robin. He is here to take care of his subordinates and that is what he will do. He pushes open the door and is greeted with Cyborg checking Beastboy's vitals. He looks very concerned but not panicking, which is a good sign. He tilts his head to see who just entered the room and greets Richard with a nod. The green man is sleeping peacefully. His hands and feet have returned to normal.

"I've brought you a late lunch, Cyborg," he says as he holds up the tray of food and ice tea. The metal man eyes what Richard is holding and pauses for a minute. He shakes his head as though clearing away an unpleasant thought.

"Thanks, Robin! I completely forgot that I need to eat something," he says as he takes the offered food and places it on the little table by Beastboy's hospital bed.

"Are you doing okay? Any new information about what happened to Beastboy?" Richard asks with concern in his voice.

"One or two new things. Some of the test results have returned and it looks as though BB has been drugged. What that drug is, I can't tell. It breaks down in the system pretty quickly and BB's ability to heal rapidly makes it harder to isolate the compounds," he says. He takes a good long look at Richard's haggard appearance before asking, "Weren't you also not feeling well this weekend? Wasn't that why you spent Sunday in the city instead of coming back to the Tower?"

Richard is careful to school his face into an expression of concern and deep thought. He had forgotten how sharp Cyborg can be. He slowly nods as he says, "I definitely did not feel good on Sunday. I had a headache and nausea. I also felt excessively tired even though I didn't do much. I just chalked it up to a bug or something."

Cyborg's shiny head glistens as he nods, "I don't think it was that simple. If you don't mind, Robin...I'd like to take a blood sample."

I feel like Richard would make decent boyfriend material if he wasn't...ya know...obsessive and compulsive…

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