****Maybe Canon Divergence Disclaimer: So It's never stated in the HP universe what a werewolf scratch on the night of the full moon does, except that it scars. I know there's some general werewolf legends that say a scratch could turn someone too, but in Harry Potter it always seems to focus on bites as the means of turning a victim. I'm kind of taking cues from Bill's attack in HBP when he had his face ripped up and it scarred quickly but permanently, even though Greyback wasn't transformed at the time. Ron and Madame Pomfrey imply that he was bitten somewhere in the attack, or maybe even that the damage done to his face had been from Greyback's teeth, and I figured that's where he gets the craving for rare meat, but I could be wrong.

From the playlist:

In My Head - Bedroom

I Found - Amber Run

Ch. 10 - The Monster

The animagus and the werewolf sat slumped in the ground floor waiting area as the healers attended to Emmeline. They told the staff that they'd encountered an aggressive forest troll, though it took a bit more creativity to explain all the blood around Remus's mouth and limbs. Thankfully, it had initially helped to mask how pale and sickly he looked underneath. Revealing his affliction and the truth of the attack would have put him in violation with the Ministry and landed him in a cell in Azkaban. They were less than lenient when it came to lycanthropes.

The healers had already mended Sirius's bruising, and he sat faithfully by Remus's side, though he knew better than to make any attempts to console him.

Remus was, unsurprisingly, finding it difficult to just sit still and wait. His negligence yesterday was completely, utterly unacceptable. He could have killed her. They could have been delivering her lifeless body to the hospital instead. What was taking so long, anyway? Did she have a complication? Had she bled out? "Oh my God, what if I've killed her after all?" Thoughts of this nature tortured his conscience as he loudly drummed his fingers against his knee, his leg bouncing.

"You're going to wake the dead," Sirius remarked, pointing to his knee and trying to pull him out of his own head. He hadn't killed her after all.

Remus shot him a contemptuous look and wobbled to his feet. "I'm going back to the toilet," he grumbled, shuffling away.

Once in the lavatory, Remus leaned over the faucet and splashed cold water in his face, gripping the sides of the sink to steady himself as he tried not to vomit again. The person; the thing in the mirror glared back at him with loathing. He'd been so thrilled that the potion was helping, but he realized now that he'd gotten too comfortable, and it had made him reckless. Nevermind the situation with Emmeline. It didn't excuse him.

He could have killed her. Or worse; he could have turned her, shackling her to the same fate. Shackling her to him.

He convinced himself that the vanishing spell had not gotten all the crusted blood out from under his cuticles, and he scrubbed them furiously for a third time, then double-checked the mirror to make sure he'd done a successful job of scouring his stubble.

He felt like such an idiot. Dates aside, he should have noticed the symptoms the day before and seen this coming; but he'd doped himself up on tobacco and booze, on top of everything else that had distracted him. Now, he did not feel well at all. He never did in the days leading up to or following a transformation, but after missing the potion, this month seemed particularly vile. Beads of sweat had already re-formed on his ashen forehead, and he could feel a fever coming on. He was too preoccupied to address this now, and he pleaded with his aching bones to keep going, praying that none of the healers would take notice. Just until I know she's okay. Just a bit longer.

He made his way back to the waiting area.

On his way, he passed the large, magical clock displaying the date and time along the wall. "Remember, remember the fifth of November," he humphed mirthlessly to himself.

…Wait a minute…

He stopped in his tracks, turning back and staring horrified at the clock. Just when Remus thought his heart couldn't possibly sink any lower.

"Godric damn it," he cursed under his breath, trying and failing to pick up his pace.

With everything going on, he had completely forgotten.

He blustered back into this seat in the waiting room, leaning towards Sirius.

"I've been such an arse-"

"She's okay-"

"-to you."

Realizing what he was referring to, Sirius cracked a small smile, patting his shoulder. "I'm buying you three more calendars for Christmas-"

Remus put his head in his hands.

"-and we can station them all over your house."

"I'm the worst friend."

"No you aren't. Relax."

"I literally went over to your place that night and unleashed all of my problems on you without so much as a 'happy birthday'."

"Well I wasn't about to kick you while you were down."

"I bled you dry of all of your brandy."

"Wouldn't be right to celebrate until Prongs comes home anyway. You haven't missed a thing."
"Did you have a nice day before I showed up and ruined it, at least?" Remus hoped.

Sirius bit his bottom lip and hummed in a manner unfit for public consumption. "Marley made breakfast, and we took a titillating shower together-"

"Godric- Forget it. Nevermind."

"It was a nice day," he chuckled wearily.

Remus slumped back in his seat and sighed. "…Twenty."

"Two whole decades, baby."

"Quite the accomplishment," he praised him earnestly. For Sirius, it sort of had been.

"I'm practically a geezer."

Remus turned to him again. "Sirius, I am so sorry."

He was still smiling. "Don't beat yourself up. Taking your last few days into account, I can't really blame you for having it on the back burner."

Remus was prepared to continue groveling, until a healer approached them. He tensed up, lowering his head away from the man.

"For Ms. Vance?"

"Yes," they both affirmed.

"She's all patched up. I'll take you to her."

Remus nearly keeled over on the flight of stairs, but pushed himself anyway. Just a bit further. Just until I know she's okay.

They were directed into the Creature-Induced Injuries Corridor and brought into a ward for scratches and flesh wounds. Bandaged from her underarms to her waist, Emmeline smiled lightheartedly from her cot as they approached, looking rather like someone who hadn't just been attacked by a werewolf (or, troll, rather). She was happy to see Remus, and moreover, she'd made up her mind. She was not going to waste her second chance to tell him. Life was too short to hold such things back.

Remus pulled up a chair beside her. He was thankful for the seat, though he had to stop himself from reaching for her hand. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, they've mostly stopped the bleeding. They were a bit confused as to why it took so long, but I fibbed and said I have a mild blood malediction," she whispered.

"That was clever," Sirius remarked from the foot of the bed.

Remus looked less impressed. "You shouldn't've lied about that..."

"Next time I'm in, I'll just say it's a mistake on my chart…How are you?" she asked, noticing his colorless complexion.

"I'm alright, don't worry about me."

She eyed him skeptically, but didn't push. "Did anyone ask questions after they rolled me away?"

Sirius shook his head.

She leaned back, relieved. "Thank God…" Then, to Remus's astonishment, she took his hand.

He stared down at it as if he'd mar her skin again just by touching it, trying not to think about how warm and soft and lovely it felt to have her hand in his grasp. "...Emmeline, you'll er...you'll have to seal the wounds with powdered silver and dittany," Remus informed her quietly, as the healers would not have treated the lacerations correctly in their ignorance.

She ran her thumb along his knuckles. "I know that, I used to do it for you..."

"And the scars never go away, they're erm…they're considered cursed wounds…" The words felt sour leaving his mouth.

Emmeline sort of peered at her bandages and thought about it for a moment. "It's not like I was gunning for Witch Weekly's swimsuit issue anyway."

"You're acting far too cheerful for someone who's just barely escaped a 'troll' with their life," Sirius teased her.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" Remus asked, disregarding his joviality.

"Not much anymore. And anyway, I have a high tolerance. Black here could've told you that much from Quidditch."

Remus let go of her hand and hung his head in shame. He had no right to touch her.

"Hey," she beckoned, searching his eyes. "I'm fine. I'm here."

"But you might not have been…"

"Nah, Sirius had my back." She looked up at him with gratitude. "And I never doubted him for a second."

"Bullshit," Sirius laughed.

"And I only doubted him for about thirty seconds there."

"All in a night's work, madam. I'd say we make a pretty good troll-hunting team, you and I."

"I second that."

Remus glanced up at him too. It had just occurred to him that he had not yet properly thanked Sirius, not only for last night, but also for his companionship the night before - on his own birthday.

He hobbled up and walked around to the other side of the bed, embracing him as tight as he could at the moment. "Thank you. For everything."

"You'd do the same for me," Sirius assured him.

But Remus wore a sullen grimace. "I'd never have to."

Suddenly, Sirius's smile vanished as he caught sight of someone else entering the ward. "You're a popular bird, Emmie."

Remus and Emmeline turned in the direction he was looking to find Tiberius flouncing toward them with alarming hostility.

Emmeline cursed under her breath. "I told them not to send for him."

"You," Tiberius growled, disregarding Emmeline and going straight for Remus.

"Tiberius, back off," she demanded.

Only then did he acknowledge her, swiveling his head towards her insolently: "You and I are going to have a rousing chat later," he scolded, then he was right back on Remus as if the man had dented his favorite broom. "Look what you've done to her!"

Emmeline pushed the blanket off of herself and tried to stand.

"No, Emmeline-" Remus reached out to get her back into bed.

"Stay away from her," Tiberius ordered. "Letting her in the way of a troll, I can't believe-"

He started towards Remus, but Sirius stepped between them. "I'd back up if I were you." If there hadn't been other patients and healers about, Sirius probably would have capitalized on the opportunity to hex or at least sock him, for no other reason than he would've relished the chance.

"Out of my way, Black," Tiberius snarled.

"Cool off, McLaggen."

"I want the both of you gone. You've done enough damage-"

"You're right," Remus interjected before Sirius could come back with a rebuttal, verbal or otherwise. "...He's right. We should go."

Emmeline swung her legs over the side of the cot. "Wait, don't go-"

But Tiberius corralled her back into the bed. "Muffin, you don't know what you're talking about, you're still in shock."

"Muffin?" Sirius mouthed.

Remus regarded her with immense admiration, but ultimately, resignation. "It's alright," he surrendered, slowly backing away from the bed before addressing both Emmeline and Tiberius with devastated sincerity: "I'm profoundly sorry for the harm I've caused. I won't be bothering either of you anymore, and I wish you both a long, happy life together." That last bit physically hurt to say. Remus met Emmeline's eyes one last time, lingering there for a brief moment before turning and moving unsteadily towards the exit.

Sirius stared after him, surprised, and a little disappointed.

Tiberius only stared him down.

Emmeline was flooded with regret, for in all the fuss, she had missed her chance to tell Remus what she'd been meaning to tell him all night. Now, present company did not permit such things. "Remus," Emmeline called after him.

He disregarded it. Every throbbing bone in his body was screaming for him to turn around, but he disregarded them too.

In that moment, he made a promise to himself.

Sirius looked apologetically at Emmeline before catching up to Remus. "You're not going to-"

"No. I'm not...I'm not good for her. I'm not good for anybody." He headed towards the ground floor where the Floo channels were.

Sirius scowled and kept after him. "Look, I don't care what happened last night-"

"Well I do-"

"-I cannot think of anyone worse suited than him. He's a dick, you're-"

"A monster," Remus hissed, stopping and spinning around to face him. "I'm a dangerous half-breed, and I almost killed her," he whispered.

"You're not. Remus, that wasn't-"

"For Godric's sake, leave it alone Sirius, please," he barked over his shoulder as he turned and resumed his exit.

A tear fell from the corner of Emmeline's eye as she watched Remus leave. Tiberius sat down in his place.