"You know Helga… when you asked me to meet up with you before the party this wasn't exactly what I had in mind." Arnold grumbled.
"Do my ears deceive me football head? Are you actually pouting?"
"No... I just figured you wanted my company for other reasons. This-" he gestured to the grocery cart he was currently pushing "isn't exactly what I was agreeing to."
"Hey, it's not my fault you agreed to be my pack mule! You could have gone back to do that Zumba class with Eugene."
"Helga! I told you I only did that ONCE! And you swore you'd never tell a soul." a faint blush crept onto his cheeks.
"Exactly. So does this seem so terrible now?" I linked my arm with his, resting my head on his shoulder as we walked down one of the aisles in the store.
"I suppose not." he grinned.
At that, I released his arm and pointed at the stacks of soda on the shelves. "Hop to it Arnoldo, my mini fridge aint gonna stock itself!"
"Maybe it isn't too late for Zumba after all." he stared off into the distance and tapped his chin thoughtfully.
"Sure, you could go do an aerobic dance routine with your accident prone roommate.… but it wouldn't be much fun without your spleen." I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to me before giving him a short kiss, leaving us nose to nose. "Save yourself the trouble." Without another word he put several 12 packs of soda into the cart.
Truth be told I didn't need Arnold's help with my grocery shopping. I always took care of myself before, carrying heavy boxes and bags up the stairs to my dorm was something I had done hundreds of times. I was far too proud to admit to him that I simply wanted to spend time with him. A week ago his presence was annoying me, but now I knew he genuinely liked being around me and it wasn't simply a gesture to get in my pants. So now I was the one wanting to 'bond' in any way possible.
Something had changed between us recently, even beyond the boundaries of intimacy. Our dynamic had started bordering on the edge of boyfriend-girlfriend territory. The situation wasn't ideal, but I couldn't stop myself from enjoying this development. Arnold basically did anything I asked of him, no matter how ludicrous. I had dreamt of this moment for pretty much my entire life. I had Arnold's full attention. Who was I to rock the boat?
"You have no idea how much I'm enjoying this." I sedately followed behind Arnold, watching him struggle with several boxes of soda as we ascended the stairs to my dorm room.
"Helga? Shut… up." As he was nearing the top of the stairs I rushed ahead of him, 'accidentally' striking him with the plastic bags in my hand. "You're gonna pay for that one." he mumbled behind the wall of sodas currently blocking his mouth.
"Oh shut your yap football head! It's not that bad." I unlocked my door and held it open for him. "Put them on top of the fridge."
He set them down with a dissatisfied grunt. "I'm going to have a sore back tomorrow." he laid down on my bed and sighed into my pillow.
"Men are such babies-" before I could blink one of my pillows collided with my face. "I rest my case."
Arnold rolled his eyes at me and sat up on his elbows and began focusing on something across the room. "Is that… A present?"
I glanced at the bright colored package across the room "It is a birthday party you invited me to, right?"
"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd get Grandpa anything. That's actually really… sweet." he gave me and all too knowing half lidded gaze. "What is it?"
"Just a little something I figured he'd like. It's not a big deal."
"You and your secrecy" he sighed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" my brow furrowed.
Arnold sat up completely to look at me, eyebrow raised. "I'm just saying you're very reserved. That's all."
"So you're saying you never keep anything to yourself?"
That question seemed to intrigue him. He spent several moments contemplating his answer. "I guess I do sometimes."
"Then shut your freakin' mouth!" I hissed.
"Are we seriously starting an argument over this Helga? C'mon…" he gestured me over to him with his index finger. I reluctantly stepped closer to him to be met by his hands guiding me into his lap. "I don't like arguing." he kissed my shoulder. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to imply anything negative about you."
"Arnold… Just know the things I keep to myself are usually best left unsaid. We'll leave it at that alright?"
"Whatever you say Helga." he shook his head in amusement. "So I guess we should head over to the boarding house? They're probably all standing by the window waiting for me."
"Speaking of your wacky extended family-" I got up off his lap, pulling him up with me "I say we get them liquored up and make this a real birthday party!"
"Are you batty?" he chuckled. "There's no way on earth I'm bringing liquor to my grandpa's birthday party."
"Hey, it was just a suggestion!" my hands raised defensively. "I thought we might need something to take the edge off, given your family has more nuts than a bag of trail mix."
"Don't over think this so much Helga. Everything will go great! We're going to have dinner and eat some cake. What could possibly go wrong?"
Famous last words Arnoldo.
I loved this feeling. I felt warm, safe, comfortable… all the things nobody but Arnold could make me feel. He held tightly on to my hand as we walked up to the stoop of his family's boarding house. The simple gesture was so mundane in the eyes of others, but to me it was like a symbol. It genuinely felt like we were together, fused at the hands. Like nothing could break our bond-
"Shortman!" Arnold's grandpa opened the front door and came rushing outside to greet him.
"Hey grandpa! Happy birthday!" my hand suddenly felt cold at my side, and when I looked down I realized Arnold had dropped it as soon as his grandpa came out.
"Ah, thanks Shortman. Now come here and let me get a look at my favorite grandson!" he grabbed him by his shoulders before giving him a once over. "Either you're getting taller or my bones are finally disintegrating!" he pulled him into a friendly headlock, mussing Arnold's hair for a few seconds
"Grandpaaaa!" he groaned, fixing his frazzled locks. "I haven't gotten any taller since Christmas… a few weeks ago!"
"Really? A few weeks ago? I could have sworn it was a few months ago. Ah, my withered old mind is finally getting the better of me Arnold. Pretty soon you'll have to put me in a home and have me diapered and-" he suddenly met my gaze "-oh ho ho, well who do we have here?"
"Remember Helga, Grandpa?" Arnold's gaze traveled back and forth between me and his grandfather, obviously terrified of what his off the wall grandpa could possibly retort with.
"The little girl with the pink bow and one eyebrow? Well I'll be a monkey's uncle! I haven't seen you in quite a while. What brings you back to these parts?"
"Well Phil, I-"
Arnold held his hand up near my face, shushing me. "-I um… invited her as my guest. I hope that's alright?" Nobody in their right mind shushes Helga G. Pataki unless they want to die a painful death involving a garden hose and rusty spikes.
I could tell his grandpa was pondering something, most likely why Arnold would bring a girl to his birthday party. But eventually his skepticism subsided before a big grin broke on to his face "Of course! The more the merrier." he held open the door and gestured for us to go inside.
Before we could even get a few steps inside Arnold's grandma was in the wings waiting to greet us. "Happy Kwanzaa everyone!"
Me and Arnold both exchanged confused glances. "Grandma… it's not Kwanzaa…. And.. Uh… we don't even celebrate that. It's grandpa's birthday today, remember?"
His grandmother paid no attention to Arnold's declaration that it wasn't Kwanzaa, instead she jumped in front of me animatedly and took my hands in hers. "Eleanor Roosevelt! Have you come for high tea?"
"I-"
"Excuse me! Pardon me! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" a man with a heavy Czechoslovakian accent who vaguely smelled like ham and cigars clipped my shoulder as he ran past me.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU KOKOSHKA!" less than a few seconds later a small stout man pushed between me and Arnold. In the midst of all the commotion his grandma took off towards the kitchen skipping and cackling something about preparing the 'mighty beast'…
"What in the name of Helen Saint Troy is going on in this madhouse?" Arnold's grandpa stood next to him with his hands on his hips. "Who's bellowing this time and why?"
"My educated guess would be Oskar hid Ernie's wooden mallet again." Arnold sighed. "Do you want me to take care of it Grandpa?"
"No no, I will." he opened the closet door before producing a wooden baseball bat. "You and your little friend can go wait in the living room while I break up the moron convention in the kitchen." Arnold simply nodded and grabbed my arm, dragging me into the other room. From a distance I could hear more shouting mixed with his grandma singing songs in Swahili that could totally fit in with The Lion King.
"And to think we could have been drunk by now." I sneered. "What's with the 180 football head? You practically muzzled me at the door!"
He plopped down on the couch and set his face in his hands, sighing deeply and rubbing his eyes. "Sorry about that." his head lifted to look at me. "Grandpa is well known for saying some outlandish things. I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable right off the bat."
"Ah, no worries Arnoldo." I sat down next to him and put my feet on the coffee table. "We're working up to the really embarrassing stuff. I'm hoping to see some of your baby pictures or hear some horrendous emotionally scarring stories!"
"Don't make me hog tie you." he leaned over and set his forehead against mine.
I smirked and leaned in too, rubbing our noses together, mimicking all those stupid Eskimo kisses I always saw Gerald and Phoebe doing in high school. When they did it, it seemed so idiotic. Now I can sort of see the appeal… no matter how stupid others see it as.
"It's quiet.." he placed his hand over mine, rubbing it with his thumb and sighing. "Wait." my head fell forward slightly when he pulled away completely "It's quiet." He repeated more harshly. The look on his face was bordering on confused and surprised which in turn made me feel confused.
"Yeah? And?" I glared at him, hoping he'd get the message that I wasn't done…. Doing whatever it was we were just doing. With that, he practically flew to the other end of the couch, crossing his legs casually and laying his arms across his chest.
"Arnold? What the heck is going o-"
"What do you mean we have to behave? It's not like she's my girlfr- OUCH! You hit me! I'm going to sue you!" the guy with the Czechoslovakian accent began moaning from the other room.
"SHUT UP OSKAR!" several male voices yelled at once.
Seconds later Arnold's grandpa, Oskar, the short guy and the other familiar face I remembered from my childhood, Mr. Hyunh came walking into the living room. All four of them looked at me and Arnold like we were primates at the zoo.
"What's up?" I offered lamely.
"So you're the girl?" Oskar eyed me carefully before taking a bite out of the pickle he had procured during his scuffle in the kitchen.
"Don't mind Oskar." Arnold's grandpa sat down in between me and Arnold on the couch. "He's nothing but a bloated bag of foreign idiot."
"Who are you calling bloated grandpa? You're practically a skeleton!" he huffed.
"Would ya STOP calling me grandpa?"
"Oh geez Louise. I'm outta here! Let me know when dinners ready." the smaller man headed up the stairs without another word.
Mr. Hyunh sat down in the chair across from me and smiled warmly. "Hello! It's very nice to see you again."
Oh crap.
"Again?" Arnold raised his eyebrow at me.
"I've seen him before Arnold." I waved my hand dismissively towards him. "It's nice seeing you too Mr. Hyunh." I silently prayed Mr. Hyunh wouldn't say anything else about our previous encounters within the boarding house.
As if on cue a blonde haired woman came down the stairs and immediately began scolding Oskar about eating before dinner, it took her several moments to realize there was someone new in the room. "Oh my, where are my manners?" she pushed past Oskar, who took the opportunity away from her scolding to go back upstairs. "My name is Susie Kokoshka. I'm Oskar's wife."
"Helga." we shook hands.
"Now that we've all been introduced properly… minus Ernie." his grandpa muttered. "Maybe now I can open presents?" a wicked, childlike grin appeared on his face.
"Of course grandpa." Arnold angled himself towards the kitchen and called out for his grandmother to join them. A few seconds later she appeared and sat down on the arm of the couch with a box in her hands.
I knew she wasn't THAT crazy.
"Aww Pookie! What'd ya get me?" he tore open the wrapping paper and opened the box. "What the-" he pulled out a watermelon. "Oh Pookie…" both him and Arnold did a collective facepalm in the midst of his grandmothers mischievous cackling.
Mr. Hyunh offered his gift next, which was a framed photograph of all their 'family' this past Christmas. It almost made me jealous I didn't have a family that actually sat together to pose for a picture without a smoothie in hand or fists raised. Susie had an… interesting gift to say the least. It was a bus ticket…. For Oskar. Susie was planning on taking him to see her family a few towns over for about a month, which meant Oskar wouldn't be around. I don't think anyone could have been happier than him after receiving such a strange, yet thoughtful gift. Arnold got his grandpa some type of really cool fishing pole with a bunch of fancy doodads on it. Arnold was hoping the could take his grandpa fishing over the summer since Arnold has been…. Busy, to say the least. He wants to make time for the people he loves-
"What about your gift, Helga?" Arnold stared at me expectantly.
"You got me a gift?" His grandpa's grin got even bigger. "Well aren't you a sweetheart!"
"Yeah… um…" I dug around in my bag a few seconds before producing a small box. "It's not much… but I hope you like it Phil." I smiled weakly.
With speed unknown to man, he ripped the package open. Arnold huddled close, especially interested in the contents of the package. "Well slap my grandma and call me Skippy!"
"Oh my god." Arnold's face went pale.
"This is the best gift EVER!" he pulled a brand new gold locket out of the box, complete with Arnold's picture in it. "I could kiss you!"
"Oh no, that's not- OOF" He tossed his arms around my shoulders before pulling my cheek to his wrinkled lips.
"Oh my god." Arnold repeated, and I couldn't help but smile evilly in response.
"I had a locket similar to this a while back, but I'll be darned if I lost it! This is perfect though! I'll always have my little Arnold here close to my heart." he clasped the chain around his neck, displaying it proudly.
"Oh my god." Arnold fell back against the couch. "Grandpa, wouldn't you rather have a picture of GRANDMA?"
"Why the heck would I want that?"
"I think it's sweet." Susie got closer to examine the locket. "That's such a thoughtful gift Helga."
"Thank you…. And I'm glad you like it Phil."
"You're a good kid." he playfully jabbed my chin. "Now Arnold, why don't you stop your hootin' and hollering and take your little friend upstairs until dinner is ready? I'm sure there's more for you to do up there."
He has no idea what damage we could do with JUST a bed… or couch….. Or any surface really.
Like a flash of lightning, he stood up and grabbed my arm yet again and dragged me out of the room and up the stairs. When we finally got to the confines of his bedroom he released me and we both stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"So… Wild party Arnoldo."
A look of adoration suddenly adorned his face, which caught me off guard. "That locket he was talking about… the one I hated so much as a kid… it was yours. Wasn't it?" my eyes widened to an inhuman size, and I'm pretty sure I died for a second. "I remember what happened when we were kids you know." he chuckled
"I… don't even know what to say."
"It was an awkward prepubescent crush. I get it." whatever small amount of joy I felt just now had been squashed like a bug. "Thank you for what you did for him down there. He talked about that locket every day for months after it went missing."
"No biggie." I shrugged, still trying to process how much his small brain actually knew about my childhood feelings. Did he not remember my psychotic profession of love on top of a skyscraper? Was that his definition of a 'prepubescent crush'?
"Really," he grabbed me around my waist "that was sweet."
"Oh yeah Arnoldo, I'm a real sugar queen." I scoffed, pushing him away from me. "So what's there to do up here?" he began opening his mouth to speak "-And if you say Parcheesi I'm going to kill you." he shut his mouth.
"We could always… Talk?… Hang out?" he motioned to his bed. "If you want to."
"Fine by me Arnoldo." I crossed the room and sat down cautiously at the edge of the bed. "So how many girls have you boned in this bed?" I blurted before I could stop myself.
His eyes widened immensely "Well… none." he sat down next to me.
"Seriously? You never did the nasty up here?"
"This is a very odd direction you're taking this." he grimaced. "What's with the interest all of the sudden?"
"I'm not interested football head! I'm just trying to make conversation. Crimeny.."
"Excuse me if I'm way off base here, but…. Are you subtly trying to ask me how many girls I've been with… sexually?"
I could either lie… or be straight with him. "Yes." I blushed
"You must have been wondering beforehand." he laughed. When he noticed I didn't laugh with him he got serious again. "Don't laugh… but… You and Trixie are the only girls I've slept with. It's not because I couldn't be with other girls… I just…"
"Want to do it when it seems right." I supplied.
"Something like that." he laid down against the mattress.
"Aren't you going to ask me?"
"Do you want me to ask?" he countered.
"Are we going to speak in question form for the rest of this conversation?" I began getting irritated.
"Depends. Are you going to keep asking me odd questions?" a small grin appeared at the corners of his mouth.
"You're a brat."
"And that wasn't a question." he chuckled.
Without another word I tackled him on the bed, tickling him along with an occasional nip. It went on for several minutes until both of us were becoming breathless. I don't know what in the world possessed me, maybe it was because we were hanging out in his childhood bedroom and it conjured up certain memories, but I couldn't stop myself from pulling away from his playful tickling and giving him a somewhat hard stare. He in turn looked at me like I had grown three heads. "You all broke the pact at prom our senior year." it wasn't a question… it was a blatant statement. One that I had never intended on saying out loud…. What the heck was wrong with me?
He stared at me blankly before remembering what exactly I was talking about. "You disappeared that night. Gerald said he saw you go off with someone, so… I guess everyone went off and did their own thing."
"Went off with someone?" my brow furrowed.
"What made you think of this anyway?"
My combative nature wanted to kick in and start yelling, but I couldn't find the will to actually act on the impulse. "I don't know Arnold… its just one of those things I think about sometimes. That's all." I rolled over on my side to stare at the wall. "I didn't even dance at my senior prom…" I muttered.
"Helga…" he rubbed my shoulder.
"Nobody gets left behind." I repeated our stupid mantra in vain, trying desperately not to cry like a wuss over something so idiotic.
Though I wasn't looking at Arnold, I could feel him get up off the bed. A few moments later some type of slow jazz music began playing over the speaker system. His hands grabbed my arm and softly pulled me up off the bed. "Come on.." he coaxed. "It may not be our senior prom, and I'm no dream date… but hey. You gotta improvise sometimes, right?" A stupid idiotic grin spread across my face when he took my hand in his and pulled me closer to rest his hand at my waist. My free hand slowly crept up his arm and settled at his shoulder.
"This is by far the cheesiest thing I've ever done." I buried my head into his shoulder as we moved along with the slow music for a while.
"You're a good dancer." he twirled me once before pulling me back in. His hand trembled at my waist as he nuzzled his cheek against my head, whispering "… I missed out that night."
I pulled my head out of the nook of his shoulder to look at him. Neither one of us realized we had stopped moving to the music. "Don't say things you don't mean, Arnold."
"But I did mean it." he pulled me tighter against him.
"Arnold…" I trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. Getting into this conversation would most likely end badly for both of us. How was I supposed to have a serious conversation with him when he was giving me those lustful googly eyes? And just like that, we were kissing again. He made the first move, saving me the trouble of making a decision. Whether it was sexual tension or our complete lack of social capabilities, we always seemed to end up like this whenever things got serious. Tongues began clashing and hands were roaming under articles of clothing, and his bed was suddenly underneath me and everything was starting to become a blur as his hand moved over my jean clad thigh..
"Hey guys, Phil sent me up to- OH!"
I released Arnold's mouth as both of us turned to look at his bedroom door. "SUSIE!" Arnold shouted, suddenly toppling off of me and landing on the floor with a loud thud.
"I'm so sorry! I was just coming up to tell you dinner is ready… I didn't mean to interrupt."
"You weren't interrupting!" Arnold frantically began fixing his hair and adjusting his rumpled clothing. "R-right Helga?"
"Right.." I rolled my eyes.
Susie repeated her apologies before leaving the room, clearly embarrassed. I didn't think much of the incident, but Arnold on the other hand seemed absolutely frazzled. His pupils were dilated and fixated on his door, almost like he was expecting someone to come inside at any moment and hack him to pieces. What the heck was the big deal? It's not like we were naked and huffing and puffing.
"Come on football head." I walked over to his door, but he still made no move to follow along. "HELLO? I'm hungry Arnold! Lets go!" I clapped loudly, which finally broke whatever trance he had been in. "Lay off the psychedelic drugs would ya? Susie is a cool chick. I doubt she went downstairs and announced what just happened."
A look of relief washed over him "You're right Helga." He joined me in the doorway, slinging his arm over my shoulders before planting a kiss on my temple. "Let's go eat."
Dinner was seemingly going well as far as Arnold's family was concerned. I sat between Arnold and Mr. Hyunh, staring down at my plate of….. Whatever it was. It was brown, yellow, and green… and quite frankly it scared me. Arnold didn't seem to have much of an appetite either, he would occasionally take a bite while glancing up at Susie who was stationed across the table with Oskar, it was almost like Arnold was sending death threats with his eyes. Was he seriously wigging out over someone seeing us kiss? He was acting like we got caught fornicating on national television for Pete's sake!
"So what's your major, Helga?" Mr. Hyunh offered what little conversation he could think of.
"English lit… with a minor in Elizabethan poetry." I glanced over at Arnold, who was swirling the water in his glass. "But I dabble in a lot of different things."
"So you like English huh?" Ernie took a bite of the unknown substance on our plates. "I'm a physics man myself."
"Oh?"
"You bet your sweet cheeks!" Arnold's head lifted at the 'sweet cheeks' comment. "It's like Newton's law of motion. Wrecking balls go flying, buildings go falling! BOOM!" he slammed his fist on the table, causing all the dishes to clink and clatter.
"On that note.." Arnold's grandpa pushed his plate away from himself. "Please tell me there's cake Pookie!"
"What's Kwanzaa without cake?" she jumped up and ran into the kitchen.
"That woman will be the death of me." he sighed.
Arnold and I made eye contact before inconspicuously smiling at one another. Arnold glanced back over at Susie and his smile faded. She was watching us. His hand shot up, cupping the side of his head and laying his head on the table, blocking off my view of him. What the hell? Were we suddenly five years old again? What was his problem? Before I could say anything his grandma reappeared with what seemed to be a regular looking chocolate cake with 'Happy Kwanzaa!' written in lime green icing.
"Pookie for the last time it's not Kwanzaa!- oooh.. Is that chocolate? Who cares what day it is! Happy Kwanzaa to me!" he held up a knife. "Pass that baby over here!"
Thankfully the cake was delicious, unlike her strange main course. From what Arnold always said growing up his grandma's specialties included watermelon, watermelon….. Uh… watermelon… and now apparently chocolate cake could be added to the list.
"So Helga.." Susie smiled warmly at me and Arnold. "How long have you and Arnold been together?"
Without warning Arnold dropped his fork on to his plate, causing a loud clink along with his coughing fit. "Crimeny Arnold!" I pat his back roughly as he wheezed and sputtered.
"You two are dating?" Ernie's eyebrow raised.
"YAY! I win the pool!" Oskar stood up from his seat and pumped his fists victoriously over his head. "You two owe me twenty dollars! I told you they were together already! Eh heh heh heh!"
"Sit down you no good bum!" Arnold's grandpa reached over and slapped his arm. "Oh ho ho, Shortman! Why didn't you tell us? This is great!"
Arnold's grandma cheered before getting up on her seat and singing at the top of her lungs; "HERE COMES THE BRIDE, ALL DRESSED IN WHITE!"
Arnold, who had finally quit coughing was staring at everyone in complete horror. "Stop." he said lowly, but the commotion didn't cease. "I said STOP IT!" he growled. Everyone in the room fell silent. Arnold wasn't one to raise his voice at others. In my heart I knew this was about to turn bad… very bad. "Me and Helga are NOT dating, okay?"
"But, when I saw you two upstairs I just-"
"What you saw up there was nothing Susie! Helga and I are just friends. That's all we've ever been, and that's all we'll ever BE! Okay? So can you PLEASE stop celebrating a relationship that doesn't exist and get back to celebrating grandpa's Kwanzaa birthday?" he sat back down with a heavy sigh.
… That's all we'll EVER be?
After several seconds I pushed myself away from the table and stood up, making eye contact with only one person. "Happy birthday Phil." and without another word I stormed out.
I was an idiot. A complete and total idiot for even harboring the hope that something had truly changed between me and Arnold. I could feel angry tears begin forming in my eyes as I hopped on the first bus back to campus. I was done with him and his lies. He made me drop my walls and for the first time I was truly close with someone, it hurt worse than any other betrayal I could possibly be faced with. I was willing to overlook his betrayal with the frat before because I still had him, which was what I truly always desired. But I thought things were finally progressing in our relationship to the point of really being together! Not just casual sex buddies! I had made myself vulnerable only to be burned by him.
When I got back to my dorm I threw my bag down and began pacing. Never in my life had I felt both so angry and so completely shattered inside. After all these years of disappointment you think I'd be used to adding one more to the list. The hardest part for me to accept was… Arnold was always the one thing that kept me going. He was never a disappointment in my life….. Until now. The part of me that's still madly in love with Arnold was hoping he'd follow me back here to set things right… but the bigger, more angry and dominant half prayed he wouldn't step within 100 feet of me… because there would be no bars holding me back, and God knows what would come out of my mouth.
Less than an hour later my worst fear was coming true. A soft knock reverberated through my small dorm room like a bad omen. "Helga?" he called out on the other side of the door. "It's Arnold. Can I come in?" Despite being disheveled and livid, I swiftly opened the door to glare at him. He looked significantly less peeved than he did before, and dare I say cheery? "Hi." his signature smirk returned.
"Go... Jump... Off... A… Cliff." I started closing the door again, but he stopped me. "I will not hesitate to punch you in the face Arnoldo. GO AWAY."
"Look…" he pushed his way inside my dorm "I'm really sorry about what happened at the party. My family can get a bit out of hand."
"Y-… your… family?" I roared. "Please tell me this is some kind of SICK joke!"
"Huh? Helga, I tried warning you they say and do some weird things-"
"Listen here bucko!" I shoved him harshly against the wall. "I'm not playing this little game anymore! I'm tired of this charade between us!"
"Oh… oh man!…" it suddenly dawned on him. "This is… about what I said earlier. About us?" he attempted to take my hand in his but I smacked it away.
"This is much bigger than what you said tonight Arnold. MUCH bigger!" I shoved him yet again. My anger was about to boil over into full on rage… and I knew I was on the cusp of going too far. "You are a real piece of work, you know that? You screwed me, literally AND figuratively! Let's go back to a few months ago, shall we?" I began pacing in front of him like a rabid tiger.
"Helga, you really need to calm down before either one of us says something we're going to regret! Look.. I-… I'm sorry about what I said before. It came out wrong. I was flustered and I felt trapped, and-"
"Why did you phase me out with Gerald and the frat! WHY?" I shoved him for the third time within a 10 minute period. "You have avoided things just as much as I have Arnold! You get up on your high horse and call me out for being a coward when you're the biggest one of them all! You've been using me as your surrogate girlfriend to get your jollies off without any REAL commitment and turning me into an emotionally unstable wreck! Well guess what Arnold? I'M DONE. For real this time!" To prove my point I shoved him again only to have him grab me by my wrists. "Oooh, I bet you feel like a big man now huh? You've got me by my wrists! Oh I'm so defenseless!" my leg swung back before going forward and striking his shin and forcing him to let me go.
"Helga, I'm losing my patience! Please stop hitting me for a second and let me say something for once!" he held his hands in front of him for several seconds in case I decided to strike again. When he was sure I wasn't he stepped away from the wall. "If you think about it we never really stopped to define what we are exactly… neither of us." his body tensed up just in case. "Everything happened so fast… all of these old feelings came back to the surface and then we just… Kind of clung to each other after the metaphorical explosion happened."
"Old… feelings? How dare you bring up what I felt before! What's going on now is much deeper than… What was it you called it before? My 'prepubescent crush'? Guess what Arnold? The game is different now. I didn't kiss you on top of some building after screaming at you about my undying love! This is our reality now, but the thing is I've grown up! I can see that we're not JUST friends! You've got your head so far up your own ass you can't see that I… I…" my sentence slowly got away from me. I couldn't make myself say it.
"I have grown up Helga!" he was clearly getting exasperated. "Why do I always have to be the bad guy in your life story when things go wrong? Why do you always blame me for everything? I'm NOT the bad guy Helga! All I've done is try and be a part of your life and prove to everyone else that you really are a good person deep down inside." he took another step closer "But after everything that's happened… Let's face it… You're the same angry little girl inside that you always were."
I stepped forward until his nose was almost touching mine "Let's face it Arnold," I mimicked, narrowing my eyes at him. "You're never going to be anything more than a degenerate orphan with a love complex who's so far removed from reality he wouldn't know real love if it slapped him in the face!" my hand shot up and struck him across the face before I could stop myself. Both of us froze, wide eyed… what did I just do? He seemed shell-shocked and his mouth was hanging open slightly. Out of all the insults I chose to use… I used the worst one. His hand shakily touched his cheek before taking a step back towards the door… And that was when I saw something completely foreign in his eyes that showed me I had gone too far.
Tears.
**Two Months Later** (March)
I was more than likely on my fourth or fifth beer of the night, I wasn't sure. I had lost count after the room began to turn fuzzy and the people at the bar began sounding like drunken seals. What did it matter anyway? I had one goal, and one goal only this evening: sleep with someone, move on, and be happy… well, I suppose that was more than one goal. But the point was I was tired of sulking in my dorm room for the past two months pondering why everything had to go wrong between me and he-who-shall-not-be-named. I wanted to finally be happy, because frankly I don't know if I've ever truly been happy before.
"How bout him? He's cute.." I slurred, pointing to a decent looking guy playing pool with his friends.
"Lady, I'm a bartender. If you're looking to hook up go on Tinder."
"Listen bucko, I'm paying you to provide me with a mind altering substance. The things I do or say that may irritate you are your fault!" my hand slammed against the wooden counter.
"Too bad you were just as annoying sober. Nice try blondie." he quipped.
The boy I had been ogling a few minutes prior suddenly appeared on the stool next to mine. "Another round please, Pete." the bartender grumbled something along the lines of 'whatever' in response and got a new pitcher and began filling it with whatever beer was on tap. While he was waiting he glanced over at me and nodded as a greeting. I responded with a coy grin in return. This is what people like to call the beginnings of a 'mating ritual'. In college all it takes is a simple hello before you find yourself naked and sweaty under the sheets with some random guy whom you'll never hear from again.
"Hi." he supplied. "I'm Ben."
"Helga."
"Helga.." he repeated. "I like it. It suits you." the bartender set his pitcher of beer on the counter and left to take care of another customer on the other end of the bar. Ben glanced back and forth between me and the pitcher, obviously contemplating if I was worth sticking around for. Using my only 'man-luring' tool I knew, I softly bit my bottom lip and gave him the most seductive look I could think of in my partially drunken haze. He swiveled his seat the other direction and called out to some guy named Derek. I could tell he was mouthing something to him, given he was making gestures aimed at me. I imagine it was something along the lines of 'I found a piece of ass. You're on your own bro!'. His little minion Derek came over to the bar and grabbed the pitcher of beer, but not before giving me a thorough inspection with his eyes first. They blatantly high-fived in front of me before he left, which usually would send me into an angry rant about sexism… but tonight I didn't care. Tonight my goal was to use this peon for his warm body.
"So how about another drink?" he offered.
"Here's the deal Ben." I grabbed the back of his barstool and turned him so we were knee to knee and I was dangerously close to his face. "I've had a lot of alcohol tonight, and trust me when I say I don't need more to convince me into sleeping with you. I'm here tonight for the same reasons you are. You want some, I want some… its as simple as that. Now here's what's about to happen; I'm going to pay my tab and when I'm done you're going to ask me where I'm headed for the night. And then I'll say 'oh, I think I'll go back to my dorm… would you like to come?' and so we'll walk back, fully aware of the sexual tension lingering in the air, both anticipating the supposed mind blowing sexual encounter that's just moments away. We'll get back to my dorm, and most likely you'll grope me halfheartedly in an attempt to put me 'in the mood', which will then lead to the most unfulfilling 7 minutes of our young lives. I'll stare blankly at the ceiling while you hurriedly pull your pants back on to escape the dreadful after sex courtesy cuddling. You'll cough awkwardly and excuse yourself because you suddenly realized you left your hot plate on back in your dorm, to which you will leave sprinting out the door with the full intent to never call me again and to awkwardly avoid me at all costs. Now most girls would be offended by such behavior, but frankly Ben… you're hardly a dreamboat, and I just need a body on top of me. So let's just save ourselves the awkwardness and get down to business, okay?"
Ben stared at me completely slack jawed and silent. The bartender, who was also staring strangely at me shook his head in disbelief. He got out a shot glass and filled it with tequila, sliding it in front of Ben. "You're gonna need that bud."
After a very long minute of silence Ben reached for the shot and tossed it down with a hiss before looking back at me. "Sorry, I think I just realized I'm gay." he quickly stood up from his seat and practically ran away screaming.
"Okay… so maybe that was a little strong." I muttered into my beer mug.
After that ridiculously bad attempt at trying to hook up, I realized it wasn't going to be so simple for someone like me. I was abrasive, brash… not to mention a terrible conversationalist. Who was I kidding? This idea was doomed to fail from the very start, because who in their right mind would want to hop in the sack with a nut job tomboy like me? Besides, nobody could ever truly distract me from the perils that were currently plaguing my mind.
I got back to my dorm room still feeling buzzed, and what little self respect I had was still smashed on the floor after the Ben incident. I landed on my mattress staring at the ceiling and wondering how long I was going to keep acting like I wanted to move on and forget Arnold. No matter who I eventually managed to hook up with they would never be able to distract me from Arnold… I don't think anyone ever really could…
Something suddenly hit me like a truck. "Wait a second..." In my life I've had only one distraction from him... One person made me forget how much I love Arnold. I blindly dug around inside my bag and grabbed my phone. "It's show time."
After the phone call was made I changed into my fancy bra that I absolutely abhorred, and impatiently waited at the foot of my bed. Less than twenty minutes later a familiar rhythmic knock only we knew echoed against the cheaply made door. I unlatched the door and held it open for-
"Heyyyy buddy." Jason grinned happily, wrapping his arms around my waist and carrying me over to the bed and setting me down. "I was beginning to think you were never gonna call!" his hands went straight for his belt and began undoing it. After they were unbuttoned his pants hung loosely at his waist, revealing a good portion of his boxer briefs underneath. It suddenly dawned on me that I was about to get exactly what I had wanted… A sex partner for the night. A warm body. And suddenly I realized I was terrified. Five minutes prior I was completely gung-ho on the idea. What the hell was wrong with me?
He pulled his shirt over his head and began crawling towards me on the bed. His lips instantly found their way to an all too familiar spot on my neck, nipping and sucking along my collarbone the way he knew I liked it… But for some reason it wasn't enough. "Jason?"
"mmhmm?" he hummed into my skin.
"I can't do this.."
He lifted his head away from my neck and moved towards the edge of the bed. "Are you alright? What's wrong Helga?"
I could feel tears burning in the ducts of my eyes. I never wanted to feel this way… I desperately wanted to be able to forget all about Arnold just for one night. But yet here I was on the verge of tears with a half naked gorgeous boy, and thinking about anything but having relations with him. "What isn't wrong?" those dreaded tears began escaping down my cheeks.
"oh Helga.." his strong arms pulled me into a warm embrace while one of his hands gently began stroking my hair as I cried into his shoulder.
"I'm so-" I hiccupped "so sorry.."
"For what?"
"You were expecting hot sex… instead you get a girl crying on your shoulder like a lunatic!" I wailed and began crying even harder.
"I hope you know that first and foremost you're my friend. Sure the sex part would have been great.." he laughed, "but if you need someone to talk to, then I'm here for you." I lifted my head out of his shoulder to look at him. I was pretty sure I looked like the most unattractive person on the planet. Being the gentleman he was, he didn't say a word about it. He simply wiped the tears away with his thumbs and softly kissed my forehead. "What's going on in that freakishly smart brain of yours?"
"I'm not smart.." I looked down at my lap to examine the loose thread coming out of my pajama bottoms.
"Come on Helga.." his finger tilted my chin back up.
"…. What's wrong with me?" another tear fell down my cheek. "Am I so disgusting that no man would ever want me? Or is it my abrasive personality? Or my-"
"Are you kidding me? Any guy would be lucky to have you!" he looked at me like I was insane. "You're pretty.. Funny.. Smart.."
"Then… Why didn't you want me, Jason?" After all this time I finally got to ask him that question. It had been plaguing me ever since things had ended between us.
"Ugh…" his head fell into my shoulder as he groaned. "Because I was an idiot."
"Explain." I shrugged him out of the nook of my shoulder.
"When you and I started… whatever you want to call it, I had just gotten out of a relationship that had been pretty serious. My ex totally tore my heart out and I promised myself I'd never let someone be that close to me again and from that moment on I was going to keep it casual-"
"That's not true! You dated that girl and ditched me." I frowned.
"It was stupid of me…" he sighed. "I dated her because… Well..."
"Well, what?" I crossed my arms hastily in front of me.
"Because I was terrified." his hand reached out and took mine. "You and I had gotten really close… and I realized I was breaking my promise to myself. So when I met my last ex I immediately jumped into a relationship with her because she was the safe choice… She couldn't break my heart."
"… So you broke mine instead." I removed my hand from his. "I guess that's pretty much par for the course, right?"
"Listen…" he scooted closer and took each of my hands in his. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you Helga G. Pataki… I made a huge mistake when I let you slip through my fingers all those months ago. If I had a time machine and I could go back to that night I went home with that other girl instead of you… I know sure as hell my choice would be different."
I don't know when I began leaning in to kiss him, but all I knew was in that short two second bracket after he finished speaking I had connected my lips with his. It was a soft, slow kiss. It was actually very sweet… and yet he was so… not Arnold. I pulled away just as quickly as it began. "I'm sorry… I can't. I can't make myself… UGH!"
"It's alright Helga, really.." he reached over and brushed a stray hair from my eyes. "I get it. I'm just… not Arnold.."
"Huh?" my eyes nearly comically sprang from their sockets. "W-what do you know about Arnold?"
"He was the one with you at the pizza parlor that day, right?" I nodded dumbly. "Anyone with half a brain could see the way you looked at him Helga… And it didn't really help when you talked about him pretty much all the time when we would hang out."
"Oh…"
"I wouldn't worry too much about him Helga." he patted my arm, "He was practically sending me death threats with his eyes. And trust me, no guy gets that worked up over their 'friend' talking to another guy… He's crazy about you too. I know it! Just give him time.."
I let out a loud scoff. "I've been waiting for that boy since I was three years old. And besides, whatever chance I ever had to impress Arnold and woo him are completely diminished. I managed to screw up pretty royally… and that's putting it lightly."
"What happened?"
"Me and him have had sex a few times, despite the fact that I've secretly been repressing severe anger towards him for actions he made that I never fully understood. Two months ago I lost my temper on a whole new level, to which I may have… called him an… an… orphan." I shut my eyes tightly "And then I might have slapped him."
"Wow… Okay, so that's pretty intense. But that doesn't mean-"
"He had TEARS in his eyes! I made the boy CRY!" my eyes began watering again. "He's been there for me for as long as I can remember… And when I let him start to get close to me without barriers, what do I do? I repay him by acting like a brat. Not to mention I hid behind a metaphorical mask for several decades to deliberately deter his thoughts from assuming I was in love with him.. And for what? To let it all come to this? What the HELL have I been doing for nearly 19 years of my life? I'm turning 22 next week… and Arnold was right. I'm still the same little girl I was all those years ago-"
"Whoa, whoa!" he grabbed me by my shoulders. "I think you're forgetting the most important part of what you just said Helga. Don't you see? It isn't about what you hide behind the mask. It's about who's still there when the mask comes off... and he was. He always was.. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Do you not see that he just might care about you just as much as you care about him? Maybe even more?"
"I-…. I don't know about that one Jason. I screwed up everything with Arnold. Even an apology wouldn't be enough to try and salvage a friendship now let alone a relationship. Whatever miniscule feelings he once had are over and dead. You should have seen the look in his eyes when he left that day! Not only did I completely lose my cool… I also broke his spirit."
"Look, no matter what unpleasantries were exchanged, if you two are truly meant to be together then nothing can stop what's meant to be. I believe that real love has no end. Just give this thing time to blow over before reaching out to him."
"Yeah, I'll add that to my list of things that will never happen." I scoffed. "I honestly wish things could be simple, and everything could go back to my freakish definition of normal. Back to when I was still 'one of the boys' during frat poker night." I sighed heavily and tossed myself back on to my pillows. "Hey Jason… Do you think you can do me a huge favor?"
"Anything."
"Can you stay with me tonight? No funny business…" a small smile formed at the corners of his mouth, and without saying another word he laid down next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. As I began falling asleep in his arms I realized I forgot something. "Jason?"
"Yeah?"
"Zip your pants back up before I kill you AND your unborn children."
For the past few years on the eve of any of our birthdays, me and the guys would go on the roof of the frat house with lawn chairs and a 24 pack of beer to commemorate the strike of midnight leading into the day of our births. We'd make said birthday person wear a comically huge sombrero that said 'Nacho Bitch' on the front. (It was a novelty item from Mexico from several spring breaks previous.) And on the last stroke of midnight they'd get the complimentary Ho Ho with a cigarette stuck in the middle of it in lieu of a candle. It was actually a silly tradition, and I hated going on that roof for Danny's birthday in January whilst I froze my ass off… but in a way I loved that they wanted to include me in their frat boy love-fest. It was one of the few moments where they all showed genuine love and care for one another, even if that meant eating a filthy ash covered Ho Ho on top of building and washing it down with cheap beer. It was their tradition, and it was special.
This year would be my first birthday in several years that I wouldn't be celebrating with the frat boys. Despite my insistence that my involvement with them was purely for Arnold related reasons, I found myself missing those morons. They may have punched my arm on occasion and tried to chest bump with me, but they treated me like a friend. A real friend. I was turning 22 in less than an hour and I felt terrible about it. I missed their stupid tradition… I missed them. I kept having to keep myself from calling them and reminding them it was my 'birthday eve'. I didn't call mainly because Arnold was probably there with them, having a good laugh at my expense. Who was I to spoil their fun?
A loud bang on my door startled me from my thoughts, followed by a deep voice shouting "Campus police! Open up!"
I crept up to the door and looked through the peep hole. "Danny?"
"Open up Pataki!" his laughter was muffled from the other side of the door.
Holy shit… do I have ESP or something?
I unlatched my door and it quickly swung open. In the blink of an eye I was in a bear hug with Danny, completely lifted off my feet and being twirled in a circle. "PATAKI!" he squeezed me tighter. "Long time no see!"
"If you squish me any more my internal organs are going to squeeze out of me like toothpaste." I hissed between clenched teeth, and he finally let me stand on my own two feet.
"There's my partner in crime!" Louis stood in the doorway grinning at me.
"Louis?… LOUIS!" for some unknown reason I lost all dignity and rushed over to him and literally hurled myself into his arms, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing him tightly. If I had to pick the one frat boy I missed the most, it'd be Louis. "You guys! What are you doing here?" I jumped up and down excitedly.
"C'mon Pataki! Did you think we'd miss your big 2-2?" Danny wrapped his arm around my shoulders before playfully pulling me into a headlock and rubbing his knuckles over my head.
"Bring in the stuff!" Louis called out the door.
To my complete and utter surprise, none other than Gerald Johanssen stood in the doorway with a case of beer resting on his shoulder. "Pataki." he nodded at me. Strangely enough he was wearing a pair of sunglasses at 11:40 at night, which fit well with the unamused expression he was currently wearing.
"What's with the glasses Geraldo?" I razzed. And if I was able to actually see his eyes I'm pretty sure he was rolling them right about now.
"Don't bother, Pataki. He's been wearing those things for two days straight. Anyway, who cares! We brought the goods!" Louis ushered Gerald into the room and took the beer case from him, opened it, and offered me one.
"Well guys… It's an understatement to say I'm surprised to see you." I grabbed the beer and cracked it open. Thanks to Gerald's sunglass-clad eyes I couldn't tell if he was looking at me or not. In the back of my mind I wondered if I should be worried he was here.
"We're here for you bud!" Danny lightly punched my shoulder before plopping down in my computer chair.
"WAIT!" Louis gestured for me to stay where I was before bolting back out into the hallway, returning moments later. "It's not a birthday without-"
"NO!" I grinned as he produced the infamous 'Nacho Bitch' sombrero. "now it feels like a birthday party." he set the hat on top of my head.
During our little reunion Gerald was uncharacteristically quiet, which definitely meant he knew about everything that happened between me and Arnold. There was no doubt it my mind that Louis and Danny dragged Gerald here tonight against his will, especially since he didn't hardly say 5 words the whole time we were all together. I couldn't even imagine how Arnold felt about them being here, given he didn't want me near his friends. Maybe Gerald only tagged along so he could give a report back to Arnold?
"Ah hah, it's time!" Louis dug inside his bag and pulled out a Ho Ho. "Danny if you will please do us the honors." He unwrapped the snack cake and held it out for Danny, who reached inside his pocket and produced an actual birthday candle and stuck it inside the Ho Ho before lighting it. Just like a bad cliché, my heart was melting like wax.
"You got me… an… actual candle?" I held back the tears that wanted to form in my eyes.
"Make a wish Pataki!"
I glanced over at Gerald, then back to the candle. "Here goes nothing!" the small flame quickly died after a short puff of air expelled from my lips.
Danny and Louis began singing 'Happy Birthday' obnoxiously off key and giving me 22 'punches' to the arm. Gerald on the other hand seemed to be looking at the wall, though I wouldn't know for sure since his eyes weren't visible and his expression was completely blank. He continued his silence even after the 24 pack of beer was long gone and Danny and Louis were drunk and giddy. He never said happy birthday to me, nor did he acknowledge me any further than his simple nod at the doorway. But as they were packing up their stuff and heading out the door he stopped and whispered something to Danny, who nodded at him solemnly.
"What's going on?" I questioned when he closed the door after the guys walked out, leaving nobody but me and him in the room together. "I should have known you didn't come here for shits and giggles. You came here to yell at me, didn't you?" I growled.
"No, I didn't.." he leaned against the wall and sighed. "There's some stuff I think you should know."
"Are you finally coming out of the closet?" his face turned stone hard "Oh relax, I'm kidding Geraldo."
He came across the room and sat in the computer chair, pointing at my bed. "Sit." Instead of giving him a hard time I complied, sitting across from him on my bed. "What I'm about to say, I need you to listen and listen good… can you do that?"
"Yes. I think I can." I nodded.
He took a deep breath and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "I never really believed much in fate. I always thought we decided our own. But you and my man Arnold? You defy all odds, you know that?"
"What?" my brow furrowed. "I-"
"I'm trying to tell you…" he paused for several moments "I'm the reason all of this happened to you two. The fights… all of it."
His words struck me like a dagger through the temple. "E-excuse me?" my pitch got higher.
"Before you start breathing fire, let me explain." I simply glared at him in response, too wrapped up in ways to murder him without leaving a trail of evidence. "When we were growing up, I really.. really did not like you. You were a bully who made Arnold miserable. You pushed us around and drove us crazy… But the thing is, Arnold never hated you. He always wanted to find the inner kindness he was sure you somehow possessed. He used to tell me you were just hiding behind a mask because you were scared. And the sad thing was, I knew he was right. But on the other hand I knew you could never change your ways, and you would always be there to make him feel miserable. I didn't want that for him.." he shook his head and let out a semi-amused sigh. "I never thought I'd see the day he'd actually start falling for you, but he did… senior year of high school." my jaw dropped. "He had a crush on Trixie for quite a while and you two didn't really interact much anymore, so I figured we were finally free from 'the horror known as Helga'… but that was until we all did our community service projects at Urban Tots. I remember Arnold and I playing with our kids, we were drawing with chalk on the asphalt when he nudged me and pointed at you. You were playing with a little blonde haired girl in the sandbox, not only were you smiling and laughing, but you were actually being kind. He couldn't stop looking at you, and the longer he looked at you the more I recognized that look… he was swooning."
"Oh my god." I gasped into my palm.
"A few weeks later he asked me if he should ask you to senior prom. I told him this was you we were talking about, and that you'd reject him flat on his face before spitting on him. So in the end he lost the courage to ask you and we all ended up going to prom alone." he grumbled. "So… through one of my sources I had heard Trixie had a thing for Arnold too, and at prom I made sure and got Arnold alone to tell him about it. He said he wasn't going after a relationship with her because it would break our pact. I informed him you were off with someone else, thus breaking the pact… And so I sent Trixie his way. Then when I saw you…"
"You lied to me." my bottom lip trembled. "You told me he had been putting the moves on her for months.."
"I know.." he sighed. "And since they were dating I thought we'd finally be free from you… but then you started hanging out with the frat."
"You never told me to go away!" I shouted.
"Let me finish!" he growled. "When Arnold broke up with Trixie, it was because he wasn't truly in love with her. And the night he dumped her all he wanted was for you to be there. He kept bitching and moaning 'I wish Helga was here!'… and I knew things were about to be bad again. I saw all the telltale signs, you spent a lot of time together at the frat house, which slowly turned into just you two… and then there was that night he slept over at your place." I felt my fists tighten at my sides. "One of the people in my civics class told me he saw Arnold coming out of your dorm room that morning, and not even 15 minutes later you were shouting at the top of your lungs how you slept together. So I went straight to Arnold and asked him if it was true, and he said that you literally just slept…"
"You told Rhonda you son of a bitch!"
"I didn't… I got a friend from your dorm to tell her."
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" I rose from my bed, fists raised.
"I'm trying to explain here! Just… Let me finish." I reluctantly sat back down. "I told Arnold that Rhonda had gotten wind of the situation, and when she inevitably came sniffing around that he should simply say nothing on the subject."
"So she'd come to her own conclusion."
"Exactly.." he bit his lip and sighed. "And as for the frat… I told them that you weren't allowed at poker night anymore. Arnold knew nothing about it. He wasn't even there when I told them."
"What the fuck Gerald? Why would you do this to me? You would ruin everything all over some childhood razzing? Are you demented?… and most importantly, why would you do this to ARNOLD? You knew he had feelings for me and you fucked EVERYTHING up just because of your own resentment towards me? FUCK YOU!"
"I came clean with Arnold, Helga.." he reached up to his sunglasses and lowered them from his face, revealing a ghastly looking black eye. "It didn't go so hot."
"Holy shit." I got closer to get a better look at it. "Arnold did that to you?"
"I want you to understand something.." he slipped the sunglasses back on. "I never realized the type of bond you two shared until a few months ago… he came back to the frat house with tears streaming down his face, and he wouldn't say a word to us. I knew in my heart that you had finally erupted at him… and when he finally told me what you did, I instantly felt guilty."
"No shit you prick! Do you not realize what I've DONE? I can't take back what I did to him!"
"He's been inside his dorm room for two months straight. He refuses to leave, only for his classes… I've never seen him so… lost." his head hung lowly. "He needs you Helga… you're a part of him. And it took something like this to make me see just how much he needs you. And I am so sorry… more sorry than I've ever been about anything before. Not just because I hurt Arnold, but because I hurt you too. You've been my friend these past few years, but I couldn't see it until now." he lifted his head back up "I don't expect either of you to forgive me. But if there's one thing intend on doing, it's trying to bring you two back together.."
"It's not going to happen." I shook my head firmly from side to side. "He'll forgive you over time… but he can never forgive me!"
"You're not even going to try and see him?"
"You don't get it.." I turned away from him. "I can't.."
"Can't… or wont?" I turned further until my back was to him. "Okay… be that way Helga." his footsteps traveled over to the door. "When you cry yourself to sleep every night Pataki, just remember there's someone out there just as miserable, missing you too. Maybe someday you'll grow the balls to match all of your bravado and tell him how you really feel…" the door opened. "Maybe someday you'll really take off the mask."
and just like that, he was gone..