**One week Later**
I spent several days after my encounter with Gerald just staring blankly at my dorm wall. His confession kept repeating over and over in my mind, leading me to wonder why I was staring at the wall instead of chasing after my football headed love and fixing this mess. What was holding me back? Fear. Fear of the unknown and fear of how Arnold would react to seeing me again. Sure, Gerald could technically be our fall guy in this scenario, but he didn't make me call Arnold a degenerate orphan. That was my own stupidity and rampant temper coming back to bite me in the ass yet again. Regardless of my behavior I knew I owed Arnold a sincere and heartfelt apology, face to face. Another one of my fears that was looming over my head was my tendency to put my walls back up when things got too serious or deep between us. I didn't like feeling vulnerable with anyone, let alone him. But now I have to live with this newfound guilt after my chit chat with Gerald. Now that I know Arnold didn't do any real wrongdoing towards me, I knew I'd have to bite the bullet and finally apologize.
During my walk to Arnold's dorm hall I tried convincing myself that there was a loophole in my logic, that there was some reason why I didn't need to throw myself at his mercy. But every time I came up short for an excuse, and now I'm standing a foot away from his door and fidgeting awkwardly and wondering if I should knock. On a thoughtless whim I thrust my fist in the air and rapidly knocked on his door before retreating my fist protectively under my other arm. After some shuffling on the other side of the door the knob turned and the door swung open.
"… Eugene." I muttered. "Do you ever NOT answer the door?"
"Helga?… This is certainly surprising." he frowned slightly. "What brings you here?"
"I'm here to tell you about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I brought pamphlets and everything. What in the hell do you THINK I'm doing here you moron? Crimeny!"
"Oh.." he glanced over his shoulder, presumably at Arnold's side of the room. "Well you see, Um… Arnold-"
"Can I talk to him?" I hesitated for a moment. "… Please?"
"I'm sorry Helga, but I'm afraid he- OOF!" I elbowed him in the stomach and pushed past him. I was done asking for favors. "I'm okay.." he mumbled from the floor.
My eyes instantly fell on what I presumed to be Arnold's bed, given that I've never technically been inside his dorm room before. To my surprise his bed was empty. "What the hell?" I grabbed Eugene by the back of his shirt and plucked him up off the floor, shifting his scrawny body towards Arnold's bed. "Where is he?"
"Arnold went for a walk!" he quickly flinched out of fear of another strike. "He said he needed to clear his head and left a few hours ago. That was the first thing he's said to me in over two weeks, so I figured he must be feeling better."
I released Eugene's shirt and walked over towards Arnold's bed, absentmindedly touching his bedspread with the tips of my fingers. "He hasn't talked to you about anything… else?"
"Arnold doesn't tell me much of anything, unfortunately." he came up next to me and softly patted my arm. "But it doesn't mean I don't notice what's going on around me." Eugene reached down to Arnold's nightstand and opened the drawer, revealing a turned over picture frame inside it. He looked at me somewhat somberly and motioned for me to look at the frame. Hesitantly, I reached for it and picked it up. My hands immediately began shaking and my heart dropped when I laid eyes on the photograph. It was a photo of us taken the same night as the photo on my memory board. It was a different shot of us, but in a similar pose with both of us holding on to the others waist and smiling. But in this photo his head was resting against mine, almost like he was hugging me.
"Arnold has kept that picture by his bed since you two took it. I used to catch him staring at it and smiling every once in a while." my head shot up to look at him. Gerald wasn't lying before about Arnold having some sort of feelings… "It makes me sad to see things turn out this way. You two always seemed destined to be together. Your breakup really hit him hard-"
"Wait, what?" I cut him off, "We never even dated."
His brow furrowed, "But I thought… I mean…"
"We never really dated." I clarified "We just spent a lot of time together." my eyes fell back on to the picture. The picture was a reminder of better, more simple times. Seeing his smiling face made me miss him that much more.
I could tell Eugene was watching my reactions, studying me. "You love him." It didn't come out as a question, but more of a statement.
"Love is subjective." I countered, setting the frame back into the drawer. "If Arnold isn't around then I'm leaving." I shoved past him yet again to walk through the door. "Don't tell him I came by."
"Helga, wait!" Eugene frantically followed behind me, grabbing at my wrist. Using strength nobody could have guessed, he halted me in the hallway and spun me towards him so we were face to face. "I may not know the specifics of what kind of friendship you two shared exactly, but I do know one thing from watching on the sidelines…" he clasped my hand in his, "I haven't seen Arnold smile once since you two stopped talking. Something is painfully missing and anyone with eyes could put two and two together." his eyes bore in my mine and my bottom lip began trembling against my will as teardrops started welling up in my eyes. "You're scared for some reason, and he is too."
"I'm not scared of anything." I lie, forcefully pulling my hand away from him to not too subtly wipe the tears from my eyes.
"When will you stop this disturbing charade?" he stared at me somewhat incredulously, both of us knowing all too well that I was being difficult just for the sake of being difficult. We were both standing there awkwardly in the middle of the hall giving each other the stare down, I was at a loss for a rebuttal. Why was I making this so difficult for everyone involved? For the first time in many years, Eugene looked genuinely angry. "You're going to lose him forever." his eyes narrowed.
I stepped towards him, glaring at him icily "You can't lose something you never had."
A scoff escaped his lips "You're blind." he shook his head, turning back to go into his dorm.
"And you're a… um…" Eugene paid no attention to me, slamming the door behind himself. "WEENIE!" I screeched. Several people in the hall looked at me oddly as a blush crept up on my cheeks. I left Arnold's dorm hall feeling absolutely horrid and foolish. What was wrong with me? It was like I had completely lost myself somewhere along the way during this whole 'one of the boys' venture. Arnold needed me, yet here I was taking the easy way out by running away and blaming someone else for it. How could I possibly face Arnold when I didn't even know who I was anymore?
A few hours later after my classes for the day I found myself back in my usual routine, staring at my ceiling and thinking instead of working on my homework. Without Arnold around to keep me on my toes I stopped really trying. He was my motivator, the person who got me in gear. What was the point anymore? After our graduation this summer Arnold and the frat had wanted to take a cross country road trip to all the Six Flags theme parks as one last hoorah. What did I have to look forward to NOW? Finding a cruddy apartment on the seedy side of town, adopt a cat and eventually die alone?
I rolled off my bed and perched myself next to my memory board full of photos and memorabilia. The picture of Arnold and myself still contained a pushpin through his left eye, despite its morbidity I couldn't help but smirk. I kept all these stupid reminders of Arnold just as some sort of penance.
A knock came from my door, startling me. It had to be that stupid bible guy again. He came by twice a week trying to tell me about Jesus, and every time I'd tell him that Jesus and I aren't on speaking terms before I slam the door in his face. "Stewart. Jesus and I aren't any friendlier than we were four days ago." I set my forehead against the door in frustration, banging it several times.
"Ooooh, who's Stewart? He sounds like fun!" my ears perked up. "Open up Pataki!" I practically flung the door open to be greeted by Louis who was leaning against the wall and grinning. "Who's Stewart, and where can I find this Jesus guy?"
"Louis!" I motioned for him to come inside, "What are you doing here?"
"Looking for you of course!" his arm slid around my shoulders. "The guys are out for the night at a local… establishment." he looked at me pointedly, meaning they went to their favorite sleazy strip club on the edge of town. "Anyway, I was hoping maybe we could hang out? Play some videogames, raise hell… Ya know, the usual."
"Why didn't you go with them?" my brow furrowed. "Vegas Vargas is your favorite stripper!"
"It pains me to say that Miss Vargas is currently with child and is taking a break from work. Alas, here I am." he bowed his head in mock sorrow before shooting it back up again. "So what do you say Pataki? Wanna come to the frat house?"
"Well…" I hesitated.
"Puh-puh-PLEAAAASE?" he jokingly nuzzled the side of my head with his.
"Oh alright you manipulative little rat! Let's go before I change my mind." I ducked out of his grasp to grab my bag.
"Woo hoo!" he immediately grabbed my wrist and pulled me through the door.
During our walk to the frat house Louis kept casually glancing at me and looking away before I could make eye contact with him. My suspicion of his motives was already heightened and I was becoming more suspicious by the second.
He finally broke down about three blocks away from our destination, sighing heavily. "Can I tell you something?"
I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, "If it involves Arnold, then no."
"It doesn't… not really anyway. But um, if I tell you this you have to promise me you won't get pissed off or attempt to harm me."
I stopped walking. "Well that's reassuring." He stopped as well, turning to face me with an unsure look. "I promise, okay? What is it?"
"Do you remember when we met?"
"Yes… you were wasted off your ass and crying." I chuckled. "Why?"
"When I saw you again after I had sobered up.." he paused, smiling to himself. "I had the hots for you so bad." a faint blush formed on his cheeks as he awkwardly rubbed his arm, gazing downward at his feet. After a moment he looked back up towards me. "Don't ever think we didn't notice you. It takes a lot of work to seem aloof when in the presence of a beautiful blonde… with a fantastic ass I might add."
"Is this some kind of sick joke Louis?" I subconsciously covered my behind with my arms.
He shook his head in amusement, "Danny took a pair of your underwear last spring break and we all sat around admiring it like a bunch of kids." He chuckled. "I wish I was joking."
"YOU DID WHAT?" I advanced towards him and punched his arm.
"You said you wouldn't hurt me!" he cringed. "I'm just trying to make a point to you…"
"What point? That you guys are panty snatching idiots?" I spat, "and if you were so attracted to me then why didn't you ask me out? Why didn't you make a move? Kiss me? Anything?"
"Because," he grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me out of his personal space. "Arnold made it very clear from the start that you were untouchable."
"Untoucha- Arnold?" my confusion only continued to grow. "What?"
"He didn't want you to get hurt… he didn't trust us I guess." he laughed. "Smart boy."
"He was… protecting me? What right did he have to do that?" I hissed. "That asshole! He did more damage than any of YOU buffoons could have ever done! That selfish little prick! He just didn't want you guys to go after me…" I began rambling to myself and pacing back and forth.
Louis calmly grabbed my arm mid-rant and stopped me. "I didn't mean to make you so upset Helga.."
My hardened expression softened. "You-… You just called me Helga. You've never called me by my first name before…" I was so utterly confused by this new development and now Louis was treating me like a normal female. Plus I was now painfully aware of the frat boys underlying pervy obsession with me.
"Come on." he grabbed on to my arm. "Lets just forget about this and go play video games, yeah? It was stupid of me to bring it up." he tugged on my limb but I refused to budge. Maybe I was unable to figure everything out at that very moment, but I had Louis on my side and he was the only one willing to tell me the truth. He really was my friend.
His facial expression only grew more concerned with my silence. With my other arm I reached out and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him so he was in front of me. I got up on my tip toes and kissed him directly on the mouth for several moments before pulling away. His eyes were wide in shock, mouth agape. "Don't get the wrong idea bucko." I slapped his shoulder. "Consider that as leverage to hang over Danny's head next time he decides to steal my undies."
"You really are the coolest chick ever." he playfully bopped me on the chin.
"I'm not used to the frat house being so quiet." I stood in the middle of the living room with my arms crossed in front of my chest.
"It's nice huh?" Louis watched me from the other side of the room, casually leaning against the wall. "We got a new pool table down in the basement if you're interested." he gestured towards the basement door.
"I'm always up for some ball whacking." He waited until I came over before opening the basement door, "Be prepared. I've been practic-" his hand pressed into my back and shoved me through the doorway, causing me to trip down several stairs. "What the HELL?" I groaned from the bottom of the small stairwell. The door was barely open a crack, Louis winced and mouthed 'sorry' before closing the door followed by the ominous click of a lock. "LOUIS!" I hobbled back up the stairs and began pounding on the door. "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" After several moments of screeching my head off I realized my jeans were ripped and blood was trickling down my left leg. "Ugh.." I muttered. While reaching for my phone in my pocket it dawned on me that I had left my phone in my bag… Which was currently sitting on the couch. "I never thought I'd end up like this!" I scoffed. "A damn sex slave locked away in a frat house basement." I sat down on the top step and groaned into my palms. Why was he doing this to me? I sat there in silence for several minutes trying to compose myself and figure out what was going on when I heard a thumping noise coming from down the stairs.
"Louis?" I called out and the thumping paused momentarily before continuing. I quietly slithered back down the stairs in which I had previously fallen down to see what was making that noise. Before my very eyes stood Arnold with his back facing me. He was tossing darts at the dart board. "Arnold?" he hesitated tossing another dart but didn't turn to face me before he continued again. He was ignoring me. "Arnold." I said a little firmer this time. I still got no response. "I've just been kidnapped and tossed down a flight of stairs, the least you could do is acknowledge me!" he tossed another dart, but much more vigorously than before. My knee was burning now and it hurt to stand, I limped over to the couch and sat down since it was pointless to stand near Arnold. Why was he down here anyway? Did he plan this?
"You know what? If you're not going to say anything Arnoldo then I will! If I'm gonna be your prisoner down here or whatever then we might as well be on good terms. But you aren't getting anything from me until I know you're listening. Give me a sign dammit! Smoke signals, a wave-" a dart suddenly whooshed by the side of my head, impaling itself dangerously close to me on the wall. "FUCK! Are you trying to kill me?"
"They trapped me down here too." he kept his eyes on the dart board, his voice void of any emotion. He may not be happy with me, but the lines of communication had been opened… even if that meant he threw darts at my head.
"They set us up.." I stood back up but immediately sat back down due to my knee injury. "OUCH! Dammit Louis!" I groaned.
Arnold's kind hearted nature couldn't resist a damsel in distress. He finally looked over at me "Are you okay?"
"I hurt my knee when I fell down the stairs." I glanced down at my ripped jeans. "I knew I shouldn't have kissed that punk. Look at where acts of kindness get me!"
"You kissed Louis?" a hint of jealousy and anger briefly flashed across his eyes before he turned back to the dart board and angrily tossed another one. "You know what? Whatever, I don't care. I don't want to know."
"It was just a peck you idiot. And it was completely platonic. Plus I think he might have peed his pants a little bit out of fear."
I could vaguely see him roll his eyes and mutter; "Whatever."
"So what? You don't like the idea of him kissing me?" I pushed myself up off the couch and hobbled over towards him, still very aware of the sharp darts he held in his hand. "Or maybe…" I stepped a little closer, "You don't like the idea of anyone but you kissing me."
"Stop." he turned and glared at me when I was just few feet away from him. I jumped back in surprise and tripped over my bum knee before landing on the floor with a thud. His natural 'Arnold instincts' kicked in the moment I hit the floor. He knelt down, eyes wide in surprise. "Let me see your knee." he pushed my hands away from the wounded knee I was currently cradling. He slipped his fingers inside the hole of my jeans and tore it open wider to get a better look at it. The cut wasn't terribly deep, but apparently just very bloody and most likely will be bruised pretty badly. "I think there's a first aid kit in the closet under the stairs." he stood up and opened the closet door and began digging around for several moments before popping out with a small red case in his hands. I stuck my hand out to take it from him but he ignored it, kneeling down next to me once again.
"I don't need your help football head." I shied away from his touch but he grabbed my thigh and pulled my knee on to his lap before I could avoid him.
"You're lucky it wasn't worse." he dabbed at the cut, wiping away most of the blood.
"Oh yeah.. I'm so lucky I didn't break my neck whilst getting thrown down a flight of stairs against my will. How wonderful- OHHHHH GOD!" I moaned in agony when he put hydrogen peroxide on the wound. "AAAAAAAAAAAAH! GOD DAMMIT!" I pulled my leg from his lap, whimpering pitifully and slithering away from him.
"Stop it!" he pursued me from the floor and crawled after me as I dragged myself from his reach. When he grabbed my ankle I began screaming in protest and kicking.
"Unhand me before I kick your oddly shaped skull in!- THAT FUCKING HURTS!" he set the cotton ball with peroxide against the wound again.
"Quit running away and maybe you'd stop hurting!" he seethed. "Damn it Helga! Quit acting like you're impenetrable and iron hearted. Just STOP. Stop running from this!" we both froze in surprise.
"… You mean stop running from us."
"No, I meant stop running when I'm trying to help you." he looked away, flustered and refusing to make eye contact with me while he was finishing up messing with my knee, placing a bandage over it and setting my leg back on the ground before pulling his knees to his chest. This was the moment I had been waiting for… he had brought 'us' up first..
"Arnold?"
"What?" he snapped, still refusing to look at me.
"I want you to look at me when I say what I'm about to say… Please." his emerald green eyes hesitantly lifted and met my gaze. "I was out of line when I called you an orphan before. I lost my temper and said some terrible things in the heat of the moment, and ever since that moment I've wished that I could take it back." my heart sank a little when he stopped looking at me yet again.
"It took us getting locked in a basement for you to attempt an apology."
"Because I didn't know what I was doing anymore! Everything had gotten so complicated between us and I had started believing that I didn't know you anymore." his eyes traveled back to me, glaring. "I let myself believe you would willingly hurt me. So I lashed out… maybe it was for all the wrong reasons, or maybe it was really because I-…" a revelation suddenly hit me there in that basement sitting next to Arnold. He was waiting to hear what excuse I'd throw at him next, but I had one thing better; the honest truth. "Because I stopped knowing who I was… Arnold, I've spent so long trying to find a niche for myself and trying to find a way to conform to make you like me. Somewhere down the line I guess-"
"The façade you created became you." I nodded solemnly. "So what do you want from me exactly, Helga?"
I scooted over towards him and set my hand on his arm. "Can you ever forgive me for what I said?"
His gaze lingered on my hand "I honestly don't know." he shook it off of him, "How do I know I'm talking to the Helga I cared about all those years ago and not the character she created?"
"Because we wouldn't be here right now if I was putting up a front." I stated simply. "You'd be knocked unconscious and I would be upstairs killing Louis." for the first time in several months a small smile graced his beautiful lips. My emotions were starting to surface, "I'm so sorry I hurt you…" I whispered while holding back a sob.
Arnold didn't like seeing girls cry, I knew that much. And I was currently pulling at his heartstrings even despite the situation. His hand reached out to comfort me but he pulled back quickly. "I need to think.."
"W-will there ever… be a chance… for us?" the question seemed to throw him off. He ran a hand over the back of his neck, sighing heavily. Maybe I shouldn't have asked about the future of our relationship so soon.
The door to the basement clicked open and Arnold quickly hopped up. Three sets of legs came down the stairs. "Okay, is everyone decent down here?" Danny stopped at the foot of the stairs with his hand covering his eyes. He slowly removed it when we remained silent, both of us were glaring angrily at them. "Aw what the hell? With all that moaning and groaning we thought you two were doing the nasty down here! What gives?"
"Mr. Tall dark and handsome over there tossed me down the stairs and busted open my knee!" I pointed at Louis. "What the hell is your problem? Did you idiots fall off your rockers and decide 'hey, lets kidnap Helga and Arnold!'. You morons!"
"I like how you never came back with my ice cream." Arnold gave an unsettling look to Danny.
"Wait wait wait WAIT!" Danny waved his arms frantically as Gerald and Louis looked on in confusion. "When did Louis suddenly become tall dark and handsome?"
"HEY!" Louis frowned.
"Good God. Just shut up Danny!" Gerald shoved him out of the way and stood in front of Arnold who was currently looking very irritated with his best friend. "If you two want to blame anyone, blame me! How about that? Will that make this all go away? Can you two finally move on and just BE TOGETHER?" he gave Arnold a light shove followed by a shout of protest from Arnold. "And how about you Helga? Do you want to take a shot at me too like Rocky over here did?" his eyes narrowed at Arnold before settling back on me. "Will that somehow make up for the fact that you two never once in 18 years stopped to consider telling the other how they felt? I might have influenced your decisions at some point… but its NOT my fault you two aren't together right now! It's YOURS." everyone in the room could feel Gerald's frustration and irritation. Nobody said a word or moved a muscle. Gerald was generally a pretty 'chill' person, and seeing him become so irate was startling. "It took me a long, LONG time to see what you two mean to each other. I regret everything I did. I was an absolute idiot for not seeing it sooner and accepting it. If you two don't get past this indiscretion you'll spend the rest of your lives wondering what would have happened if you didn't have this very opportunity you two have right now." He grabbed the guys by the arm and shoved them up the stairs and following behind them. He shoved them through the door and paused "I've done all I can do." he pushed the door open even wider, "Now it's your turn to make a choice without a voice in your ear telling you what to do... Choose wisely." Both of us remained stock-still waiting to see if he'd come back. He didn't. And he had left our only exit open. My eyes traveled back and forth from the door to Arnold, waiting to see what he would do. To my surprise he turned back towards me and offered a hand to help me up off the floor.
Once I was standing upright he released my hand and stepped away from me. "Are you going to answer my question from before?" I huffed. There was too much on the line right now to be subtle. I wanted his answer. He closed his eyes and somberly shook his head, sighing. That was all the answer I needed from him. "Okay." I nodded as tears began filling my eyes. "I understand." Without another word I brushed past him and limped up the stairs without looking back.
It was one thing to do 'the walk of shame' after a one night stand. But nothing could have prepared me the looks of disappointment I received as I walked through the frat house, presumably for the last time. Gerald couldn't even look at me, while Louis and Danny gave me looks of pity. What else could they do? Everything they tried to do for us had failed miserably and there was nothing more that could be done.
"Hey.." Louis cautiously grabbed my arm. "Are you going to be okay? Do you need me to walk you home?"
Tears were still haphazardly falling from my eyes and I knew I looked like a mess. I didn't blame him for considering me a suicide risk. I shook my head and whispered a throaty "No.."
He removed his hand from my shoulder and frowned. "Don't forget about me, okay?" I nodded and wrapped my arms around his waist, giving him a tight squeeze. He reached up and playfully ruffled my hair like he always used to do. "See you soon… Helga."
"See you around Pataki." Danny lightly jabbed my shoulder, a sad smile still present.
"Enough with the pleasantries already! Why don't you just go?" Gerald opened the front door.
I walked over towards the open door and paused in the doorway "I tried Gerald."
"Right.." he muttered.
I could hardly see the pavement in front of me through the layer of tears falling from my eyes. I felt absolutely horrid, washed up, and most importantly I felt alone. Everything I was afraid of was coming true. Arnold had finally given up on me after all these years. I lost myself, and in turn I ended up losing the one person who meant the most to me. What made me think that pretending to be someone else could possibly be a good idea?
I walked past a group of sorority girls who looked horrified by my red, blotchy face that was stained with tears. "Could this day get any worse?" I muttered. On that note, a drop of cold water landed on the tip of my nose followed by several more drops falling on and around me. "Son of a bitch." The rain began to fall heavier and heavier by the second. It really was the proverbial cherry on top of the crap-fest that is my life. Considering I was sans-jacket I wrapped my arms around myself and trudged through the downpour and headed towards the quad area of campus, still limping like a weirdo. I was more than halfway to my dorm when my knee began burning due to the rain soaking all the way through my jeans. I decided to stop at one of the benches in the quad. It was completely void of human life due to the rain which in retrospect was beneficial to me, given I looked like a drowning rat. I plopped down on to the soaking wet bench and hunched over to keep the rain from hitting my knee. I sat there for I don't know how long just listening to the rain with my eyes closed. I was shivering, but I didn't really care by then. All I could think about was the past few months of my life and everything that has transpired. I wasted so much time and energy trying to be what I thought Arnold needed me to be in order to gain his acceptance, I belittled myself into an empty shell… And I couldn't blame Arnold for turning me away. I didn't want to know me anymore. I was a disgrace, and an idiot for thinking Arnold might forgive me.
Whether it was the serenity of the rain falling all around me or the weight of the emotional stress, I found myself dozing off while sitting there on that bench in the middle of the deserted campus quad. For the first time in I don't know how long… I felt peaceful. The rain wasn't cold anymore, I couldn't even feel it. I almost felt warm, safe…
"Helga.." the feeling of someone's hand touching my arm startled me awake. I lifted my head from my leaned over position and realized the rain was still falling everywhere but on me. There was an umbrella above my head being held by a familiar football head. Images from my childhood flashed through my mind and I shuddered. "Why are you sitting in the rain?"
I glanced over at Arnold next to me on the bench and realized he had put his jacket over me while I was dozing. "What are you doing here?" I ran my hands through my drenched hair.
"I was looking for you." he stated simply.
"When you give someone the brush off it's not wise to seek them out an hour later Arnoldo." I snuggled into his jacket, just now realizing how cold I really was.
"You are quite possibly the most infuriating, imperfectly perfect human being I've ever come into contact with Helga G. Pataki." before I could yell at him he continued; "You've been on my case since we were toddlers. You've pushed me around, picked on me and continue to push me to my limits in more ways than one. And that includes hitting me where you know it'll hurt the most." both of us knew he meant the subject of his parents.
"I told you I was sorr-"
"I know you're sorry." he sighed. "When you walked out of that basement today I realized something…" our eyes lingered on each others for several seconds, "I'm completely terrified of living in a world without you there to drive me insane."
"That is possibly one of the weirdest things you've ever said to me." my brow furrowed "But it still doesn't change anything. No girl wants to be told they're only wanted around for the sake of your favoritism to irritation."
His hand hesitantly cupped my good knee. "Most people find your style of affection hard to endure Helga. But for some reason I've always been drawn to you despite our opposing lives and personalities. I guess in a way you're all the things I'm missing in myself."
"I'm utterly confused right now." my eyes bore down on his hand. "Didn't you just tell me we were over for good? Why are you telling me this crap NOW? Are you batty?"
"You never gave me a chance to say anything, Helga. But I was going to say that everybody makes mistakes, and everyone does things they regret." the back of his fingers brushed against my cheek. "If I spent the rest of my life holding things against you I would wind up being a very lonely man." he leaned in close enough to rest his forehead against mine. Both of us took a collective breath at the contact. "… Because I can't see myself with anyone but you."
My hands were shaking in my lap, "A-Arnold.."
"I'm in love with you." he states firmly, cupping my cheek and rubbing our noses together.
My eyes widened. "What?"
He pulled away laughing softly. "Our relationship has never been easy. We're opposites… and maybe us being together makes no sense to other people."
"It doesn't! Arnold, we've been a disaster from the start. If we aren't fighting or bickering, that usually means we aren't speaking to each other. How does that translate to love?" I felt like an idiot for suddenly being so apprehensive, but I didn't want Arnold to make these types of decisions in the heat of the moment. We've both made far too many mistakes that way.
"Last week in my social psychology class we were talking about the human perception of love. Everyone has a different definition and understanding of what love is. My professor asked us to give our definitions of what love was. Most people said that love was a feeling of joy mixed with pure chaos. Basically butterflies in your stomach." he took my hand in his, linking our fingers together. "Love to me isn't a feeling at all. Love embodies two imperfections coming together to make something….. perfect. You're my polar opposite, Helga… but you and I somehow fit together."
The rain still raged on around us, but neither one of us seemed to notice. Arnold was staring at me expectantly and gripping my hand tightly. He was nervous. "Are you sure you want this, Arnold?"
"Yes Helga…. I'm not saying it'll be easy, and I'm not going to ask you to change. All I can ask for is for you to be yourself. That's the girl I fell in love with, and that's the girl I want in my life." A not too subtle sob escaped my lips, startling us both. I cupped my face in my hands, crying and shivering. "Helga?" Arnold was quick to take me in his arms, tossing the umbrella to his side and allowing the rain to hit us. "God, are you okay? Helga!" my sobs continued to rip out with wild abandon for several minutes. "Tell me what's wrong.." he gently kissed the top of my soaking wet head.
"Nothing is wrong football head!" I pulled my head from his chest. "I'm just a little overwhelmed right now, okay? I've experienced every emotion humanly possible in the past 24 hours, do you blame me for being a little nuts right now?"
He smiled warmly and cupped my face in his hands. "I love you." his lips pressed on to my forehead and he lingered there for a while.
I set my hands on top of his and leaned away from his kiss so I could see his face. "I love you too." A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he enveloped me into a hug. We stayed that way for several minutes just running our hands over the others back, arms, and head, relishing being able to hold each other again. "Hey Arnold?" I mumbled against his neck.
"Hmm?" I could vaguely feel his teeth nibbling my collarbone.
"Let's get out of the rain." he pulled away and grabbed the umbrella from the bench and stood up, offering me a hand and pulling me up as well. As we slowly started walking towards my dorm I leaned close to his ear and whispered, "By the way, my new bed frame is pure steel." His eyes widened in surprise and his mouth formed into a wicked grin. Before I could blink Arnold had me thrown over his shoulder as he took off sprinting back to my dorm.
What can I say? I always loved bringing out his inner freak.