From the playlist:

Waterloo - ABBA

(Don't Fear) The Reaper - Blue Öyster Cult

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood - The Animals

Chapter 39 - The Unofficial, Unwilling, Unprepared Dueling Club

1977: Sixth Year, Third Term

"I can't wait to see the look on Emma Vanity's face when we wipe the floor with the Slytherin team next match," Emmeline asserted aspirationally, shutting the door to the Quidditch locker rooms behind her and James. "She's been unbearable in Divination, going on and on about the championship, and I've just kept my mouth shut." It was inching towards summer and quite warm out for the evening, so she tied her team jumper around her waist.

"Good, wouldn't want to jinx it." James followed suit, tying his around his shoulders. "Just do me a favor and send a bludger her way every chance you get so I don't have to deal with her." They laughed as they began their trek back to the castle for dinner.

"I thought Sirius was coming by practice?"

"Actually I believe he swindled Claire Singh into helping him with that Transfiguration assignment."

"...Transfiguration is Sirius's best subject."

"Yeah, well, Claire doesn't know that, and I don't think he's really in it for the studying, if you catch my drift."

"Gross."

"Speaking of my mates and their lady friends-"

"-Oh God, here we go-"

"-you and Remus seem to be getting on well, would you say that's an accurate assessment?"

"What are you, my counselor?"

"Is that a yes?"

"...It's not a no," she admitted bashfully.

"Moony's never smiled so much in his life."

"Really?"

"Really. Although, would it kill you to hold hands for once-?"

"Speaking of MY mates, how are things with LILY?" she asked, turning the conversation back around on him.

This was clearly a touchy subject for James. He muffled a long groan into his hands, making Emmeline laugh all the more.

"I've stopped hexing innocents altogether, just for her. Can you imagine? Me? Giving that up for someone? I have been trying so hard to show her that I can be good."

"Well, she did say she'd rather date the Giant Squid."

"Yeah, I remember," he sighed, unappreciative of the reminder.

"I don't know. You've successfully made me start to like you, so there's always hope, I guess."

"You mean that?"

"I said START to like you, Potter. Don't go fishing for any more praise than that, or else I might change my mind."

"Maybe If you talked to her-"

"For the hundredth time, NO. It's not my job to be your go-between, and Lily can make her own decisions. You're the one that's going to have to convince her. I can tell you it's going to take more than leaving the firsties alone and barely tolerating Severus to get her to consider you."

"Oh, I still can't stand Snape. That's definitely a ruse to get her to go out with me."

"Trust me Potter, the feeling is mutual."

James and Emmeline stopped in their tracks and spun around. Indeed, Severus was standing behind them with his wand drawn and at his side.

Emmeline looked to James, who was staring daggers into Snape as he calculated his next move. After some thought, James reached for his own wand to accept the challenge, but Emmeline grabbed his wrist.

"Don't," she warned him. "Let's just go." But as she turned to continue towards the castle, her path was blocked by Tristan Avery and Evan Rosier. Changing her mind about the situation, Emmeline slowly drew her wand as well. While she did not, by any means, get along with this years' pack of Slytherins, with the exception of some snide insults, they had mostly left her alone until now. The boys, on the other hand, were constantly giving and getting trouble from this group.

"James," Emmeline whispered worriedly.

He whipped around and realized that they were slowly being outnumbered. By the time he had turned back to Snape, Donovan Mulciber and Rodolphus Lestrange had joined him.

"Leave her out of this," James petitioned, motioning to Emmeline.

"I dunno," Avery jeered, inching a bit too close to Emmeline. "We'd be doing Vanity a favor if we put not one, but two of the Gryffindor players, shall we say, out of commission for next weekend?"

"Did she put you up to this then? Emma?" Emmeline asked. If she kept the conversation going long enough, perhaps she or James could think of some escape plan.

"Oh, she didn't have to," Mulciber assured them through a venomous grin.

There were a few moments of a tense stand-off, each side waiting for the other to cast the first hex.

"Five against two is hardly a fair fight," Emmeline remarked, as she and James situated themselves back to back.

Snape stepped in closer to James. "You would know all about fair fights, wouldn't you Potter? All of those times it was me against your brood of four."

"Don't play the victim Snivellus, it's unbecoming."

Snape did not respond to this, so James donned an antagonizing smirk and threw a blow that would hurt more than any jinx in the book.

"Maybe that's why Evans can't stand the sight of you anymore."

"SECTUMSEMPRA!"

James managed to redirect the curse with a shield charm so that it ricocheted towards Mulciber instead, catching his arm. He cried out and dropped his wand as deep gashes tore across his forearm. Abandoning the conflict, he snatched up his wand and ran back up to the castle.

Emmeline was lucky enough to disarm Avery before he had a chance to lift his wand, but could not reasonably defend herself from both Rosier and Lestrange before they got her first. While Avery ran after his wand, Lestrange took his turn.

"Locomotor Wibbly!" shouted Rodolphus, which would have been rather amusing, had it not sent Emmeline plunging to the ground with legs like jelly. Unable to brace herself properly, she fell face-first and ended up with a mouth full of grass.

James and Severus dueled fiercely, each spell more dangerous than the last. Neither were concerned about causing the other bodily harm. James, who normally had Sirius to back him up, struggled to fend off Severus by himself. Snape was a master of spells after all, having invented many of his own.

With her arms still functional, Emmeline was able to lift herself up and halt Rosier before he cast what was sure to be some horrible curse. "Impedimenta!" A turquoise light shot from her wand and momentarily froze Evan's arm in midair.

But Rodolphus was back on her, this time with an exploding charm: "Bombarda!"

Emmeline pushed herself up just in time to roll downhill and avoid the blast. She stared wide-eyed at the smoking crater in the ground where she'd been not a moment before. These Slytherins were not easily satisfied with simple pimple jinxes or tickling charms.

If Rodolphus wanted to play dirty, Emmeline would have to match him. As he wound back to cast another curse, Emmeline pointed her wand at a collection of stones in front of her. "Oppugno!"

The stones leapt from the ground and began launching themselves at Rodolphus, who had to lower his arm back down to block his face. He was not swift enough to block a stone the size of a tennis ball from striking the side of his head, and he fell to the ground, unconscious and probably concussed. Emmeline would have been in the clear, if only her Impediment jinx was not quickly wearing off of Evan. She meant to direct a counter-curse towards her own legs, but Rosier broke free faster than she had expected.

"CRUCI-"

In a fantastic display of her reflexes, Emmeline managed to send a Bat-Bogey hex right up Rosier's nose in time to interrupt his incantation. Rosier sputtered, letting out a piercing screech as full-fledged mucosal bats climbed their way out of his nostrils. Emmeline sat in shock for a moment, not so much from what she'd done to Evan, but from the frightful and Unforgivable curse she had just managed to interrupt. She had never heard such a thing from a student.

Suddenly Emmeline felt her legs solidify once more - but not by her own magic. Not only that, someone stupefied Rosier and knocked him out cold, with bats still emerging from his swollen snout.

"As much as I'd love to watch while that misery runs its course, we have more pressing matters to attend to," a familiar voice called.

"Sirius! Peter! Thank Merlin..." Emmeline exhaled with relief as she saw the two of them dash over the hill. Sirius ran to her side and helped her to her feet. "Avery?"

"He's over there hanging by his ankles."

Severus and James had traveled downhill, and were now adjacent to the pitch. James darted under the tented stands and hid behind a wooden beam to catch his breath. He hoped Emmeline was alright - he had sort of left her to deal with the other three Slytherins. But he had a bone to pick with Severus, and Snape alone counted as three students when it came to a fight.

"Show yourself, Potter!" Snape called, tearing about in search of his nemesis. "Homenum Revelio!"

James felt a swooping sensation over him, and ducked to avoid it. But it was too late - Severus knew where he was. The heat of a blasting curse narrowly missed him, and instead hit the beam where he had been just milliseconds before. "Aguamenti!" He put out the fire, choosing to maintain the structural integrity of the Quidditch pitch over his own well-being. This gave Severus an opening to attack him.

"Levicorpus!"

"Agh!" James was suddenly dragged into the air by his ankles, causing him to smack his head on the ground and drop his wand. Dizzied from the blow, he flailed about but could not free himself, and was suffocating a bit as the jumper he'd tied around his shoulders came down around his neck. Even through the shattered lenses of his glasses, he could see Snape's triumphant expression in the darkness.

"Too bad no one else is here to witness this. I would have liked to return a favor from last year."

"Unlike you Snivellus, I think there are plenty of people who'd be delighted to see my knickers. 'Specially Evans."

"LANGLOCK!"

James's tongue was suddenly glued to the roof of his mouth, rendering him unable to speak. He had learned several of Snape's tricks, but this, as well as whatever happened to Mulciber's arm, were new. He made some inarticulate guttural noises in feeble protest.

"Don't you dare speak about her in that manner," Snape growled through gritted teeth, steam practically rising off his face. "You vile, pretentious imbecile. You, who have only known spoiling and surplus, have managed to take away the ONE thing that has ever made me happy."

"No Severus, you did that yourself!"

As the words and their speaker reached him, a sudden pain struck Severus' face as if someone had just run him through with a javelin. Lily had found them and thrown herself between the two of them - to protect James. Never in a million years did Lily think she would be at odds with Severus to defend James Potter, but here they were. Remus had followed her in too, but remained silent, standing behind Snape with his wand at the ready should he need to use it. It would not be necessary for him to assist Lily with his words, as she was quite capable of handling this herself.

"...Lily...I-" Severus choked on his own tongue, and lowered his wand away from her.

"...Leave him alone," Lily ordered, her stern voice juxtaposing the sorrow in her eyes. Her own wand remained stashed in her robe, for she knew she would not need it.

"...Last year...I've told you, I'm sorry for what I said-"

"But you can't take it back, can you? Not now."

Remus could see that this was hurting her greatly, and wondered if she would start to cry. But she did not. James, who could only see Lily's back, wondered the same about Snape.

"Not now that you've chosen who you're going to stand with," Lily elaborated.

"Lily, please, you must understand-"

"You've chosen your side, that's all there is to it," she asserted, raising her voice. Snape shrunk away from her as if every word stung. "Leave him alone Severus," she repeated, more firmly this time.

She expected him to turn and leave, but he did not. He couldn't move. He just stood there, looking deeply into her eyes, his jaw moving up and down in search of words that could never adequately explain.

Finally, she could not endure his permeating gaze any longer. "Go!" she shouted. He turned and ran, barely making it past Black, Vance and Pettigrew on his way out. Emmeline held Sirius back from lunging after him.

"Llll-nnn-llllggg-"

"Shut up," Lily snapped, probably a bit more harshly than she'd intended, turning back to examine James.

"Liberacorpus." Remus released James from the air.

He and Lily managed to catch James's head and shoulders so that they didn't smack the ground again, but the rest of his body hit the earth with a thud. He grunted, his face beet red in Lily's hands from all the blood that had rushed to his head.

"What's wrong with his tongue?" she asked, observing that he was still mute. She drew her wand to fix his broken glasses. "Oculus Reparo."

"I don't know...I'm not sure what this spell is," Remus admitted, kneeling down alongside James and examining his mouth. "Is the rest of you alright?"

James nodded.

"Fine with me, we can let Madame Pomfrey deal with it." Lily decided. "I don't want to hear what he has to say after all that anyway."

James cocked his eyebrow and looked up at her with a cavalier grin.

She rolled her eyes and dropped his head, causing him to grunt again. "Even mute you're insufferable."

Just then Sirius, Emmeline, and Peter joined them under the pitch. James shot to his feet and made some panicked noises at Emmeline.

"...What's wrong with him?" she asked.

"No clue," Remus reported, rising to look her over. James began to point at her and then wave the "ok" sign.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine, no thanks to YOU." This did nothing to convince Remus, who was still checking her. "Honest, I am - though I think I barely escaped a Cruciatus curse from Rosier, can you believe that?"

"We have bigger problems than those sods," Sirius announced grimly, shooting a sharp glance towards Peter. The shorter boy's eyes darted down to his shoes. "Go on Wormtail, fess up."

"Lllggg?"

"...What did he say?"

"He probably said to fess up, you thick-headed twit! Tell him what you did!"

"It wasn't his fault, Pad-"

"Don't defend him, Moony. He's gone and mucked everything up, and you know it-!"

"I didn't mean to-!"

"Don't shout at him, Sirius. It's okay, Peter-"

"It is most certainly NOT okay, Lily! You have no idea how bad this is!"

"Nnnnlll?!"

"All of you, stop it!" Emmeline hollered, throwing her arms out towards the center of the group. "What happened?"

Everyone looked toward Peter.

"W-Well…" he began. "It was really just a big misunderstanding is what it was-"

"THIS brainless wart got our map confiscated!" Sirius interjected.

"Nnn...NNNLLGGG?!"

"I'm sorry Prongs, it was an accident!"

"We saw Wilkes creeping about, so Peter opened the map to look for you and saw Snape and the rest of his cohort headed right for you," Remus explained.

"But his butterfingers weren't quick enough when Filch came around the corner. This is why I never let you hold it!" Sirius scolded.

"W-we'll just build a new one! Right?"

"Build a new- are you mad? Do you remember how long that thing took?" Remus chastised him.

"Okay ENOUGH," bellowed Lily, who'd reached her weekly quota for their arguing. "It's getting dark, we've probably missed dinner, and we've all got McGonagall's assignment due in the morning. You lot can stay here and shout about your map all you like. I for one am going back to the common room, and as a fellow prefect, you'd be wise to do the same, Remus. Come on Emmie, maybe Mary saved us some sandwiches…"

"What about James's tongue?" asked Sirius.

"James can do whatever he likes with his tongue! He's perfectly capable of walking himself to the hospital wing!" With that, she stormed away.

"Nn lllggg nn lllnn ggnn," James mumbled with a dastardly smirk. Sure that this was some comment about Lily and doing what he liked with his tongue, Remus thwacked him in the ribs.

"Nnnn!"

Emmeline turned to Remus. "I'll see you back in the common room."

"See you later." He flashed her half of a smile as she exited behind Lily.

Then Sirius realized something. "...McGonagall's assignment. Did Lily say we'd missed dinner?"

"I think so."

"Putain!" he swore in French, darting out from under the pitch. "I forgot about Claire!"

And so Peter and Remus were left to deal with James.

"...If you're lucky Wormtail, whatever Claire has in store for him may do the trick in making him forget about the map," Remus remarked.

"Nnn bbd llllgll."

"...What'd he say?" asked Peter.

"I'm fairly certain he just said 'not bloody likely,' but I could be wrong."

James nodded.