***Canon Divergence Disclaimer: Again, canon does not imply that Remus had access to the Wolfsbane potion before the 1993 school year, but if you've been following along, you're about to find out my thoughts on this.

From the playlist:

Bad Dream - Ruelle

Little Girl Gone - CHINCHILLA

Miss You - The Rolling Stones

Dancing After Death - Matt Maeson

Love's a Waste - Sody

Ch 58 - The Reckoning

December 28th

Remus awoke covered in blood.

At first, he didn't know it was blood. He could feel that he was damp, but when he stirred and the liquid came into contact with his lips…when he tasted the iron…

His eyes flew open and his suspicion was confirmed. More than anything, he wished the blood belonged to him, but he had a dreadful hunch that it did not.

Scrambling from where he lay, Remus pushed himself up and scooted backwards, smacking his head on something behind him in the process. He turned to see what he'd collided with.

A church pew.

He was in a church.

He was in St. Jerome's.

The alarming cold of the sanctuary made his breath hang in the air. Still crouching in the center aisle, Remus looked down at himself. He was naked save for a few shreds of clothing that clung to him, and the entirety of his torso was covered in that mysterious blood. Outside, the dawn was beginning to break, banishing the full moon as it cast its wintry light into the church. He held a shaking hand up into the luster of the stained glass windows to be sure…it was gleaming red.

From the apse, he heard a spine-chilling wheeze.

His head whipped towards the altar. "H-Hello?" he stuttered, paralyzed with fear.

That's when he noticed that the blood was not only on his torso; A trail of crimson prints stretched from the altar all the way to where he sat now. From his position, he could not see a corpse, but knew that the blood belonged to whoever awaited him at the foot of the cross. He swallowed hard.

Slowly; reluctantly; Remus arose and inched towards the altar. The closer he got, the larger and more paw-like the bloody handprints became. His entire body began to shake as he ascended the few steps up to the podium and realized that, whatever happened, had taken place on the altar table. The white tablecloth was soaked with the blood, and dappled with small tears from the victim's fingernails as they tried and failed to claw their way out. A sacrifice had taken place on this altar.

Remus's heart was pounding in his ears like a war drum as he crept around the edge of the table. Finally, the body came into view; it lay a few feet behind the table and was sprawled out in ways that it should not have been. With the dawn light beginning to trickle in through the rose window, it did not take him long to recognize who's mangled frame it was.

"EMMELINE?!" he screamed in horror, bolting to her side and dropping to his knees. Gently, he turned her over onto her back, crying out when he saw that her whole abdomen had been ripped into by claws. His claws. Her arms were covered in bites, and the skin of her face had been scratched so badly that she was almost unrecognizable. "Oh God, oh Merlin, what do I-"

She was trying to speak, but could only wheeze as her jaw moved up and down in vain. Remus began to hyperventilate. Even if he knew where his wand was, he didn't know of any healing spell powerful enough to repair this much damage in time. In his panic, he burst into tears. It was all he could do.

"Why did you come after me?!" he sobbed, choking as he felt himself forgetting how to breathe again. He reached a bloodied hand up to her forehead. "Why did you come?!"

Emmeline feebly reached out to touch his face, but her hand never made it all the way to his cheek. He began to wail when it fell limp at her side-

"Remus…Remus!"

When his eyes flew open, he found Emmeline hovering over him on her knees, shaking his face. Remus shot up in bed, seized her in his arms, and began to tear up as he whispered: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," over and over again. He hadn't embraced her since the night they'd found out about Lily and James.

She gripped his biceps in an irrational panic, stopping herself short of gasping at the feeling of his arms around her. "It was only a nightmare," she assured him, resisting the sudden and strong urge to squirm out of his grasp.

But Remus pulled away, checking her face and torso. No gashes. No bites. Once he determined that it was just a nightmare, he let her go, panting. He didn't even want to attempt to recount what he'd just seen. Instead, he layed back down, wiping the sweat from his forehead and the tears from his eyes. "Like you said, just a nightmare…"

"Did something happen to me?" she asked.

Remus hesitated, then nodded, dodging her gaze.

"...Was it Greyback again?"

"Yes," he lied, relieved she'd guessed something else. He gripped the sheets underneath him. Not a church. Not an altar table.

Emmeline could tell there was more to the nightmare than he cared to say, but didn't push. "It's been a long time since you had a dream about him."

"...I suppose it has." There had been other things to have nightmares about in the meantime. He promptly changed the subject, desperate to forget the image of her mutilated body. "Any word on him? Greyback?"

"No," Emmeline grumbled, flopping onto her back too. "Mad-Eye said he brought it up to Crouch, but he wasn't keen on sending Aurors around the werewolf colonies to look for him."

"I can't say I blame him."

"…I wish there was a way you could lend your expertise without incriminating yourself," she complained. "Not that I'd ever want you to go back there, but…"

A few silent minutes passed, and he closed his eyes again; but Emmeline, guessing that his mind may have meandered to the last time he was with a werewolf clan, turned back to face him. She'd had no tenderness to offer him in a long time, but…

"...I don't think it was your fault," she whispered, seemingly out of the blue. "I don't want you to assume that just because I got upset after the funeral that I blamed you for what happened..."

Holding his breath steady, he pretended to already be asleep. His numbness hadn't quite woken back up with him, and if he tried to talk about it, he might cry or scream or both. He didn't want this consolation from her - especially after the gruesome dream. What Emmeline thought about the situation, and what actually was, were two very different things.

Eventually, she assumed her words had not reached him in his slumber, and rolled back over. Remus, however, remained frozen in the bed until dawn, his mind racing too fast for sleep to catch up.

…

Emmeline planted her feet firmly on the floor.

She was of the opinion that these dueling requirements were completely ridiculous. They were mostly informal, no bowing or seconds, so they were really just an opportunity to spar. Practicing martial magic was one thing; but there was no way to truly simulate what it was like to fight for your life against someone who wanted you dead, Emmeline thought. Not in a training room, anyway.

But combat was a comfortable place for her. It felt good to fight. So as ridiculous as they were, Emmeline welcomed the duels.

She met her opponent's eyes. Gina Clearwater was a few years older than she was, and had to do the full three-years in the training program, so she didn't like Emmeline.

Emmeline didn't care for Gina much either. She had a nasty habit of trash-talking, and was already smiling like she'd come up with some zingers for today. Duels with Gina were never just about hexes or jinxes.

"Begin," their instructor called.

"Locomotor Mortis!"

Emmeline blocked the first curse, then hesitated, considering what she wanted to follow it up with.

Gina tapped her foot impatiently. "...Come on Vance, I thought you were a spitfire-?"

"Incendio!"

When a jet of flames shot from Emmeline's wand towards Gina-

"Partis Temporus!"

-she parted them so they burned up on either side of her.

"That better?" Emmeline taunted, scowling.

"Obscuro!" A blindfold materialized over Emmeline's eyes. In the time it took her to rip it off, Gina sent another jinx her way. "Flipendo!"

Emmeline was knocked flat on her back, and grunted. "That was a cheap shot."

"Yield yet?"

"No," she objected, getting back to her feet. "Bombarda!"

The spell hit the ground just in front of Gina and caused her to stagger back, but she chuckled. Little did Emmeline know that this had given Gina the perfect opportunity to deploy a jab she'd been saving. She licked the inside of her lips like she wanted to taste the words before they came out. "Blasting curse. Nice choice; makes sense. I heard it through the grapevine that you were mates with Sirius Black."

The sound of the other trainees whispering among themselves made Emmeline clench her jaw. That was probably the precise reaction Gina was looking for. "...What's that got to do with anything?"

She continued to provoke her. "Did you know he was a psycho?"

"Stupefy!"

"Protego. You really didn't ever see it coming?"

"Incarcerous!"

"Protego. Or are you just that thick?"

"I'm warning you, pick something else," Emmeline cautioned.

Gina leaned in closer, lowering her voice and faking sympathy. "Oh, wait, don't tell me - or were you just trying to get in his pants?"

The bloodthirst took over, and Emmeline started flinging non-verbal curses faster than Gina could intercept them. Once she'd nearly pushed her out of the training ring, she whipped out a few tricks she knew her opponent wouldn't see coming. "Levicorpus!"

Gina shrieked as she was pulled into the air by her ankles-

"Liberacorpus!"

-then was promptly dropped on her back, dazed.

Before she could get all the way back up, Emmeline pounced behind her, seizing her in a headlock. "I did warn you."

Gina smacked her arm repeatedly. "Okay, I yield!"

Emmeline only gripped her harder.

"I said I yield, bitch-!"

"Langlock!"

Gina made some unintelligible noises in protestation as her tongue was glued to the roof of her mouth.

"What was that? Can't hear you," Emmeline growled through her teeth, tightening her grip.

"Vance, let her go."

"Don't ever mention him around me again, got it?"

Gina nodded, sputtering as her face turned red.

"Vance!"

"And that goes for the rest of you!" she hollered at the spectating trainees.

"Relashio!"

Emmeline flew back a few feet as her arms were forced to release Gina.

The instructor hopped into the training ring and helped Gina to her feet, glowering at Emmeline. "You need to learn to manage your emotions in a more productive way."

"Maybe she needs to learn to manage her tongue."

The instructor held Gina back as she started towards Emmeline, still mute from the jinx.

"What's the counter spell for this?"

"Never learned it," Emmeline informed him, smirking. "Happy Christmas, Clearwater."

Gina lunged again, but Emmeline only held up an unfriendly finger gesture.

"Okay- Enough. You walk yourself to the mediwizards, and you head back up to the office. You're both done for the day."

…

As she stormed back up to Headquarters, she pushed the memories and the still-lingering questions to their rightful places at the back of her mind.

How many of the other trainees were gossiping about her former association with Black?

…Well if they had been, at least now they wouldn't do it in front of her.

Her pace slowed as she passed Alice and Frank's empty cubicles.

It hadn't gotten any easier, even after yesterday's trial. The Longbottoms' absences left a gaping wound in the Auror Department, like a body trying to function without two of its most crucial parts. Emmeline was hellbent on becoming the person to stitch up the wound - she had to, for Frank and Alice; for everyone she lost. The empty cubicles motivated her to work harder and faster than ever before.

Trainees were not supposed to get their own cubicles, but due to the sheer amount of vacancies after the war, there was no reason not to assign them to newcomers, even if they were still in training. Emmeline was not looking forward to the day they gave away the Longbottoms' cubicles. She rather thought those two should just stay empty.

With a stack of Stealth and Training papers waiting for her at her desk, she traipsed all the way to the back of the office where her own cubicle was. She hadn't yet taken the time to organize her space like a few of the others had, so it looked more like a locker rather than a place to get work done. She sat down and fished out her quill to get ahead on her assignments, but was finding it hard to focus.

She'd tried not to think about Sirius, not at all. She didn't think she'd ever wrap her mind around it. Because if she did, she would have to wrap her mind around how someone could feign love so convincingly and for so long, just to turn around and destroy it like it was nothing. If she did, she would have to wrap her mind around how the weeping and wailing he did for Marlene was all an act; how after everything they'd done for him, he'd sold James, Lily, and Harry off like lambs for slaughter; how he'd treated Peter like he was actually just a sewer rat, and not one of his best friends. If she did wrap her mind around it, she would never trust another soul again. Maybe not even Remus.

…Remus had acted strangely this morning, and was even more detached than usual. Until today, he seemed like he was doing a bit better, though she suspected he was mostly faking it. She couldn't get his expression from the night before out of her head - he'd woken up and stared at her like the grim reaper was at her back.

And feeling his arms around her had set her whole body on edge. She wasn't sure why…

"Vance!" A distinct brogue hollered from the large oak doors at the front of the room. She poked her head out of the cubicle.

"Sir?"

"My office. Now," Alastor ordered, marching back into the corridor.

Damn it. Someone from training had tattled, she was sure of it. She tossed the papers aside haphazardly and trotted out after him, glancing once more at the two empty cubicles.

A select few Senior Aurors were awarded private offices along the corridor outside the Department Headquarters. Alastor had certainly earned his, as he had caught the most Dark Wizards of any of them. His office was furnished with a beautiful black walnut desk and chairs, and ochre velvet upholstery with curtains to match; but the disarray of papers and random magical objects strewn throughout the office sort of diminished its allure. Emmeline closed the doors behind her as Mad-Eye sat himself down at his desk and removed his prosthetic.

"Take a seat."

Emmeline eyed him perplexedly as she did so. "Have I…done something?" she asked, playing dumb. She hadn't necessarily broken any rules - though the training duels weren't really supposed to get physical, and leaving the tongue-tying jinx on Gina was probably frowned upon.

It was then that Kingsley knocked and let himself in. "You wanted to see me?"

"Come in. I have news for both of you."

Kingsley shut the door and sat down next to Emmeline, flashing her a kind but inquisitive look.

A sly smile appeared on Alastor's face. "Malfoy's going to have his day in court at the beginning of February."

Emmeline jerked forward in her seat. "You're kidding."

"How'd you manage that?" Kingsley asked, looking impressed.

"After the success of the trial yesterday, I went straight up to put more pressure on the Minister, and she agreed to bring him in front of the Council."

"That's fantastic!" Emmeline rejoiced.

Mad-Eye held a finger up. "This won't be an easy conviction, so I don't want you to get your hopes up. Malfoy has lots of friends in high places. The best chance we've got is witness testimony." His gaze landed on Emmeline.

"You're going to let me testify?" she marveled.

"You've been chompin' at the bit. Time to let you out the gate. You tell 'em everything you saw in Knockturn Alley that day."

She could hardly maintain her composure. First the Lestranges, now Malfoy? It really was a Christmas miracle.

"They can't bring him in any sooner?" Kingsley wondered.

"February tenth was the best I could do. Doesn't matter; gives us more time to prepare. And we'll need to be prepared. Shacklebolt - You're to spend the next month finding out everything you can about him. More than we've got in his file - I'm talking everything; from family history to what he ate for breakfast. Knowing Lucius, at the very least there will be a character witness to testify on his behalf, and we cannae have any holes in our arguments."

"Understood."

"Get to it."

"Yes sir," they said in unison, practically leaping from their seats.

"Not just yet, Vance," Alastor stopped Emmeline.

She nodded a "goodbye" to Kingsley then sat back down, too giddy to care if she was about to be reprimanded.

Mad-Eye focused his eye on her as if he were trying to gauge her response before he even told her the news.

"I have done something, haven't I?"

"That's one way of putting it."

"In my defense, Clearwater was asking for it."

"I wanted to-...beg your pardon?"

"...Nothing. What were you going to say?"

Alastor rolled his eyes, then fastened his prosthetic on again and came around to lean on the other side of the desk. "The Magical Law Enforcement Squad has taken notice of your talents," he informed her, with much less delight in his voice.

Confusion flashed across her face. "The Hit Wizards?"

"Aye."

In muggle terms, the Magical Law Enforcement Squad acted more like a police force, while the Aurors were the wizarding world's equivalent of detectives or intelligence agents.

Emmeline sat back in her seat. "...Why?"

"Well you've gone and gotten yourself a bit of a reputation, which is never good, 'specially this early."

"What sort of reputation?" she asked, recalling in particular that last thing Gina had said.

"That you're an attack dog. You leap into fights like there's dead chicken waiting for ye on the other end of it, even in the training rooms."

"That's absurd," she snorted. "Isn't that what we're here for? I'm just using the things you've taught me."

"Absurd or not, it's what's being spread around, and it's what's gotten back to the Squad. Arnold Peasegood observed your training sessions last week and he's taken interest."

"...What does this all mean, exactly?"

"It means you have a choice," he explained. "You could truncate your training and get out much quicker to join the Squad. You'd be in the field a bit more, you'd conduct more arrests, and you'd get to fight more often. Less important targets, but more frequent combat. If that sparks your interest, Peasegood would be happy to have you."

Combat was a comfortable place for her. It felt good to fight. And wrapping up training sooner sounded enticing…

But she thought back on the Longbottoms' cubicles.

"You can take some time to think-"

"I'd really like to complete Auror training," she interrupted. "If you'll still have me…I know I haven't made it easy…"

Alastor suppressed a grin.

"Get back to work then," he barked.

"Yes, sir. Thank you." She got up and made her way to the door.

"And Vance?"

"Yes?"

"Be ready for February. We're going snake hunting."

…

By the time Emmeline came home, Remus had been sitting in the dark at the little kitchen table for hours now, staring out the window. To his amazement, she arrived with a huge grin on her face, and hardly noticed his state.

"Lucius Malfoy is being put on trial next month," she announced as she stepped into the kitchen. "Alastor's finally going to let me testify about our patrol in Knockturn."

Remus raised his wand and flicked on the light switch, summoning a fake smile but remaining at the table. "That's good news."

"I can't believe it," Emmeline continued, making her way to the fridge to scavenge for a late dinner. "I mean, Alastor said not to get our hopes up, but after yesterday, I think the tides are starting to turn." She fished out an apple and bit into it, then rummaged through the cheese drawer and continued with her mouth full. "As frustrated as I've been with the Council, I understand that they haven't exactly had to see what the war was really like on the front lines first hand. I think something changed after what happened to Alice and Frank, I think they're starting to get it-..."

She noticed that Remus had turned his attention back to the window, and was not really listening.

"...Remus?"

He snapped out of it. "Hm?"

She closed the fridge and came around the other side of the table to face him. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," he responded distantly. "I'm glad they've finally come to their senses."

"…I can tell you're not fine," she pressed him, setting down the apple.

"I'm just tired. I didn't sleep for much longer after I woke up last night." He got up and put the kettle on in order to escape her observant gaze.

"...Remus."

"Yes?" he inquired innocently from the stove.

She could feel herself getting frustrated already. "…Don't do this again. Tell me what's going on."

Giving up the act, he turned to face her, all traces of the fake smile now gone. She would find out eventually, one way or another. "...I hate that you can read me like the paper," he prefaced.

She crystallized the hurt before she could really feel it. She thought he used to like that…

Squeezing his eyes shut, Remus exhaled sharply. "I'm running out of Wolfsbane."

"...When are you supposed to get another shipment?"

"There's not going to be another shipment, Emmeline."

She blinked. "...What do you mean?"

"I can't afford it," he stated flatly.

They'd never really spoken much about finances. Obviously, Emmeline knew that his condition prevented him from a consistent occupation…but getting his potion had never been an issue before.

"...I'll buy it for you," she offered.

He let out a pained chuckle. "You can't."

"I don't mind," she insisted. "I'm earning a decent wage at the Ministry."

Remus folded his arms. "You mean your yearly training salary of fifteen hundred galleons?"

"Sixteen hundred galleons. How much is-?"

"That would only cover about a three-month supply."

Emmeline's eyes nearly bulged out of her head. "...You're joking."

"I wish I was."

She supposed she knew that Wolfsbane was expensive, since so many people with lycanthropy opted to live amongst the werewolf colonies rather than pay for the potion. Remus had told her as much. But something in the realm of five hundred galleons a month for seven doses wasn't just expensive, it was robbery.

"That's criminal," she protested.

"I couldn't agree more."

"What's the point of inventing a potion to help people if the ones you're trying to help can't afford it?"

"Therein lies the problem," Remus echoed her sentiment.

"Well…could we just make it ourselves?"

He shook his head. "The ingredients are rare, and nearly as expensive as the potion itself."

"…Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well I've told you now, haven't I?" he snapped.

"How long have you known you were going to run out?"

"I didn't want to burden you after the trial yesterday."

"I knew it," she said under her breath. "Remus, I'm your-..." Girlfriend felt like an out-of-place word, and had for some time now. "We're supposed to talk about these things."

"I just thought that when you got home from work, you didn't need another thing to worry about."

"Rubbish. This is important, and if you'd said something-"

"There's nothing you can do, so I didn't see any sense in bothering you," he interjected sternly.

"What if I ask for an advance?"

"A whole year's advance?" he exclaimed.

"I'll talk to Alastor. I'll pick up extra administrative work-"

He threw up his hands. "Stop. Just stop trying to fix everything."

The kettle began to scream behind him. He spun around and practically ripped it off the stove, but was too vexed to pour himself tea now.

Emmeline stood opposite him, furious with the injustice of it all, and even more furious that he had resigned himself to it. "...So that's it? You go back to life without the Wolfsbane?"

"What do you want me to say?" he countered. He knew that anger well, but after years of dealing with the disease, he was so tired. That fighting spirit was a privilege.

"I don't understand, how could you afford it before? I assumed your dad-"

"My Dad makes due with his Ministry pension, but he doesn't have heaps of extra money laying around." Remus ran an anxious hand through his hair. "Look, could we just drop it?"

"No Remus, we can't. I know you'd prefer to just- just retreat to the other room and pretend I wasn't here again, but we have to talk about this."

"Oh, so now you want to talk?"

Emmeline looked at him incredulously. "I've been coming home! I've been trying-"

"Yes, you've been home, but you haven't really been here, and now-"

"Well you haven't exactly been acting like you want me around anyway!"

"-Now suddenly, you're interrogating me-"

"I don't know what else I'm supposed to do when you shut down!" She moved towards him, but he strode to the sink. "You reach a conclusion and leave me out of it before you've even let me try to help! It's infuriating-!"

"That's because you can't help! Okay?"

"You'll never know that, because you won't let me try-!"

"I don't want to make you a slave to my problems for the rest of our lives!"

She went back over it all in her mind. What had changed between then and now? They'd moved, yes; but up until now, the potion shipments had resumed at the new address without issue. The rent hadn't changed all that much from the house in Godric's Hollow. He hadn't switched anything about his routine as far as she was aware. Had Dumbledore been paying him to spy on the werewolves? No, that didn't make any sense either. He'd been taking the Wolfsbane long before he started those missions. As far as Emmeline knew, nobody else in the Order had received any wages, certainly not Marlene or James-

And all of a sudden, there it was.

"...Oh my God…" she breathed, bringing the side of her palm to her mouth.

Remus turned away from her towards the window, bracing himself on the sink and hanging his head.

"…James, or Sirius?" she guessed.

He heaved a mirthless sigh. "…James."

Once again, it is important to note that James Potter was a vital person in Remus's life for many, many reasons.

After the Wolfsbane potion's development, James's father had exercised his potioneering connections to secure him a deal with its inventor, Damocles Belby. James made sure that Remus was able to procure the potion directly and anonymously straight from the source - no questions asked. Without James, Remus would've had no chance of acquiring the Wolfsbane potion in the first place.

Now, without James, no more money was going to come in. Not the kind of money that would make a difference, anyway.

Before he died, James had given Remus enough funds to cover his expenses, including that of the Wolfsbane, for about six months. However, commissioning the statue had cost him a considerable sum. Remus hadn't hesitated to pay it; even now, he would have done it again in a heartbeat. But maths was not his strong suit, and at the time, Remus did not realize that the cost of the statue would expedite James's original timeline for his budget considerably…in fact, it had halved it.

"Now you understand," he uttered despondently.

"...You lied to me…" she whispered. "Again-"

"I never lied about this."

"Not telling me might as well be the same thing as lying-"

"Must you pry me apart? Can I keep nothing for myself?"

"That's not how this is supposed to work."

"What is 'this,' Emmeline? Because if you're about to insinuate that 'this' is anything more than reluctant roommates nowadays-"

"Why didn't you say anything!?"

He dove away from her grasp and started towards the bedroom, hating himself for proving her right. "Obviously because it's humiliating for me to admit that I needed to leech off my friend to survive."

"You're not a leech, you're sick," she called, chasing after him. "James understood that, it's not-…" Suddenly, another idea entered her mind. It was a long shot, but: "Maybe I could talk to Petunia-"

"Godric- No. I forbid anything of the sort. That money belongs to Harry." Now that Remus was in the bedroom, he had nowhere else to go to get away from her, lest he lock himself in the bathroom.

"James would still want you to have your potion. If he were here-"

"Well, he isn't!" he cried, swinging around to face her. "He isn't here! Everyone's gone-"

"I'm here," she spat.

The stillness between them was enough to make Remus notice his heartbeat thudding in his ears, but her stare was unrelenting. She would not shy away or back down.

"How much Wolfsbane is left?"

"...Not a lot."

"How much, Remus?"

"...Next month will be my last on the potion," he finally admitted.

She hesitated, coming to terms with it. "Okay," she muttered, running her hands through her hair and thinking wildly. "Okay, after that, we'll just figure something else out."

Her neverending optimism made him want to tear out his eyes. "You have got to stop trying to fix things for me, I mean it. You should just-..."

Her nostrils flared. "...I should just what?"

"...You should just forget about me, Emmeline."

He watched in silent devastation as his words wounded her once impenetrable defenses. Concealing the twinges of his own hurt, he stared at her coldly. He had to.

She staggered back. "...How could you say that?"

"If you don't, I'll be the death of you-"

"How could you say that to me after everything!?"

He returned her shout with a voice barely above a whisper. "I'm just trying to be realistic..."

She didn't understand. She thought they were getting better, but he'd just gone back to the same callousness that he'd found shelter in before.

…Or had he?

"…I see what you're doing." Getting very close to his face, she looked him squarely in the eye, nearly frothing at the mouth as she spoke. "You think that's going to work? It isn't. I'm not going anywhere. I'm so sick of you pulling the martyr card, and I'm so sick of you holding what I did against me, and treating me like I'm always about to run as if I haven't proven to you over and over that I'll stand by you no matter what. When are you going to get it through your head!?"

Damn her, and damn her perception. He had to try very hard not to soften his gaze.

For a moment he thought he saw that same gut-wrenching disappointment from the funeral in her eyes. "...Don't ever say anything like that to me again," she huffed, turning her back and leaving the bedroom.

He slumped down onto the bed and rubbed his face hard with his hands, thinking. Strategizing. Hating himself for his negligence. Hating himself for having to hurt her. Again. She tried not to show it, but he knew.

Emmeline would never understand…

…but she would never stop trying to, either. And that made him ache.

Remus felt the beginnings of tears stinging his eyes.

He felt like he was always hurting her, and all she did was-...

He seemed to realize what she'd just said to him.

…All she did…

…was stay.

She said she would stay, and she did.

She stayed, and she stayed, and she stayed…

He stared after her, the ache increasing within his chest.

…Did she know that she still made him ache?