Authors Note: My apologies for leaving you guys on a cliffhanger for so long. I hyperfixated on this fanfic for so long that I was burned out and kind of lost motivation, but lately i've been thinking about it more and I miss Adam and Bella and immersing myself in Forks so I decided to try and finish it.

In the future I will try to keep a more consistent writing schedule instead of working in short, sudden bursts of productivity.

Chapter 20: The Choice

I walked through the town in the storming rain, having no idea where I was going but expecting to die and being taken to the afterlife at any moment. I felt an emptiness in my heart that was filled with a stabbing pain from how much I was starting to miss her, which got more unbearable the further I was getting away from her house.

It was slowly but surely getting light outside, the sun coming up behind the thick mass of grey clouds and the pouring rain settling into a softer drizzle. I walked past a small jij coffee shop and saw them turn the 'closed' sign to 'open' just as I did.

I opened the door and walked into a small, cozy cafe that smelled like fresh coffee and beagles.

I sat down at one of the benches, putting my head into my hands when suddenly I heard a polite, female voice next to me.

"Good morning" she said and I looked up at her; it was a younger woman with long blonde hair who was wearing a waitress uniform and holding a notepad.

"Can I get you something to drink?" She asked as she smiled.

I felt into the pockets of my jacket and sweatpants, all empty.

"I don't have any money on me, sorry" I said "Do I have to leave?"

She looked up into my eyes and held her gaze a bit too long "You know what?" she smiled "It's on the house, for being our first customer" she winked and I didn't know if it was an attempt to flirt with me but I decided to ignore it.

"That's very generous, thank you" I smiled back politely, hoping she wouldn't misread it as flirting

"Do you guys have iced coffee perhaps?"

"Mhmm" she nodded

"In that case one latte cappuccino please"

"One cappuccino coming right up" she said as her smile widened and she wrote it on her notepad.

Then she walked away and I looked out to the greyness of the early morning outside and the softly drizzling rain.

After some time she came back and placed a white cup of cappuccino with steaming milk in front of me on the table on top of a small and round plate of the same colour, then placed a small spoon next to it.

"Thank you" I said as I smiled politely at her again.

She didn't leave immediately as I expected and stood fidgeting with her hair as I took a sip of my cappuccino; the ice cold taste refreshing my mind.

"So I was wondering" she started in a small voice "Do you have a girlfriend?" She was visibly embarrassed and blushing as she asked it.

This was something that had never happened to me in my own world, even being flirted with was something that rarely happened to me- if ever. I would have liked it if I was single but my heart was already taken.

"I do have a girlfriend" I chuckled "I'm sorry"

"Oh" she mumbled "Well, she doesn't have to know" she continued in a whisper as she looked at me and bit her bottom lip suggestively.

My amusement quickly faded into anger. Even the sheer suggestion that I should do something to hurt Bella pained me physically and annoyed me. I would rather have burned in Hell itself than let the thought in of something like that.

"I'm good. Thanks" I said, looking forward and clearly frustrated with her suggestion "i'm not interested in that"

"I'm sorry" she said quickly "That was out of line"

"Yes, it was" I mumbled "It's not okay to suggest things like that"

"I'm sorry" she repeated, avoiding eye contact.

"It's fine" I sighed. I didn't think it was fine at all, if anything it was highly disrespectful "You're young so there's still time to grow and learn"

She frowned "And how old are you?"

"Older than you would think" I mumbled. She glared at me then she finally left me alone to drink my cappuccino in peace.

If there was anything I hated and judged with a burning passion it was cheating.

Deliberately breaking the heart of someone who loved you for a moment of selfish pleasure. The thought alone made me want to puke into my mouth.

I had been on the receiving end so I knew how much it hurt and messed up a person mentally. I was still healing from it myself but the pain, insecurities and trust issues it gave me would always be there. I was afraid I would get my heart broken again if I let someone in- until I met Bella. I felt safe with her. I felt like she understood love the same way I did.

I shook my head. It seemed like people sucked no matter what world or dimension I found myself in.

I took small sips of my cold cappuccino and sat in silence as a few more customers were starting to come in for their early cup of coffee. It was a Sunday morning so naturally most people in the town were still asleep.

This situation only made me realise even more how much I loved Bella and how much I hated the sole idea of her being hurt and feeling pain. I wondered if she was awake already and if she was panicking and looking for me and almost teared up again.

I took a deep breath. The more I dwelled in my feelings the more I had to accept the fact that I wasn't strong enough to let go and actually go through with it and leave my life behind. I loved her, too much. Even though the angel said her pain and depression would be temporary it still pained me. I didn't want her to feel like that, ever. The only thing I wanted her to feel was happiness and I had already failed her in that by leaving this morning.

I felt lost.

After I finished my cup of coffee I left the restaurant and stepped into the drizzling rain.

I decided the only way I could make a decision was to ask the advice of someone who understood empathy better than anyone. At the one place I never expected to go back again.

I arrived at the Cullen mansion and was suddenly feeling tense and anxious. This was a horrible idea, perhaps it was best if I just turned around and left- for my own sake and safety.

But then I saw Alice sitting outside on the porch and my anxiety and fears were eased just a little.

"Adam?" She asked in a high pitched voice, clearly startled by my sudden appearance. Her eyes widening and she turned to glance at the front door for a moment as if she was expecting someone "What are you doing here?" Her voice was anxious.

I sat next to her, taking a deep breath.

"I am lost" I said, putting my head into my hands.

"What happened?" She asked "How did your date go?"

"You don't know?" I asked as I glanced at her.

She shook her head "No, I figured you'd want some privacy"

"Well the date was amazing, you were right" I said "Then I stayed over to sleep with her and.. let's just say it was the best night of my existence"

She looked at me for a moment then suddenly her eyes widened as the realisation of what I was implying hit her "Oh" she said suddenly as a smile appeared on her face but then it dropped quickly as soon as she noticed my pained expression "You don't seem happy"

"Well, that same night something unexpected happened" I continued

She looked at me in suspense, expecting me to continue.

I took a deep breath in anticipation "I suppose you have never heard of Azrael?"

"Azrael?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she examined her deep thoughts.

"As in the archangel Azrael?"

I nodded

"Go on" she urged.

"Well if you know Azrael then you probably know his purpose of collecting souls and accompanying them to the afterlife"

"Wait" she said after a moment "Adam, you don't mean to say that you.."

"Yes" I said "It turns out that I have been dead all along. I died in a car accident in my own world and according to Azrael i'm a lost soul that was never supposed to end up here" My voice broke as I spoke "At least that's what he showed me"

"I'm so sorry Adam" she said in a sympathetic voice after a moment "What are you going to do?"

"He said that I should go with him and that Bella and Edward will inevitably end up together as they were supposed to"

It was quiet for a moment as we sat in silence.

"Hmm" she said "Interesting"

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing has changed" she explained "In your future I mean"

"I don't understand" I sighed "I had decided I was going to leave so how hasn't it changed?"

"Sometimes you don't realise your mind and heart had decided something all along until you're actually faced with making a permanent decision" she paused "What I'm saying is that making yourself believe you made a choice and saying it out loud isn't the same as actually going through with it" she continued her explanation "That would explain why I didn't see any of this before"

"Yeah" I said "That much had been clear when I kept telling myself I was going to stay away from Bella"

It was quiet for a moment as I pondered over my thoughts.

"Do you think this is comparable?"

She nodded "It all comes back to your love and attraction to her, I believe that's what drives your decisions"

"It's selfish"

"It's not selfish to want to be happy, Adam" she said "Besides you're stuck with me so suck it up" she giggled as she nudged my arm.

My mood brightened slightly as I chuckled along with her "Well, truth to be told I wouldn't want to miss you either Alice" I paused "You know I consider you my sister"

"I know" she said full of confidence and smiled.

At that moment I heard the front door unlock behind us and as I turned around I saw it was Carlisle who was standing in the opening.

"I should go" I told Alice hastily then I stood up and got ready to walk away towards the forest as a sudden burst of anxiety and impending doom made my stomach turn.

I still remembered the last time I visited vividly and I didn't want a repeat of what had happened. I barely escaped with my life and God knows why they wanted to stop me from leaving and what they would have done if they caught me- and I wasn't going to wait around to find out.

But just as I took a few steps I heard a musical voice behind me, stopping me in my tracks.

"Adam, wait" Carlisle said in a calm voice and as I took a comfortable amount of distance between us I turned around to look at him- still standing in the doorway.

"You should come inside, so we can talk"

I took a few steps towards him against my will.

"About what?" I asked "How do I know if I can trust you? I haven't forgotten what happened"

"Neither have we" he answered "Trust me none of us wanted things to escalate like that"

I hesitated; unsure of what action to take. I knew Carlisle to be a man of his word so my instincts were leaning towards trusting him for the moment to see what he had to say.

"Alright" I sighed "But you have to promise that you guys won't try anything funny"

"I promise"

I locked eyes with Alice for a moment to find any affirmation. She stood up swiftly; jumping on her feet.

"Nothing will happen to you Adam, i'll make sure of that" She said and I heard from the tone of her voice that she was genuine.

"Okay" I said.

"I'll go hunt for a bit but you'll be fine, Adam" Alice reassured me again before disappearing as a gush of wind.

"Please, come inside" Carlisle gestured and I made my way past him, to the living room but when I arrived and looked around I saw it was empty and there was no indication of the other Cullens being at home.

"Where are the others?" I asked.

"They are hunting" Carlisle said "Please, take a seat" he continued, gesturing to the couch.

I took a seat, still vigilant and being on guard for any surprises; the coffee that lingered in my veins was helping me stay aware and feeling hyper awake but also adding to my anxiousness. Carlisle took a seat.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked anxiously.

"I heard your conversation with Alice" he started "First I want to say how sorry I am that you're finding yourself in this difficult situation"

"Thank you.." I said quietly, the words barely escaping my lips as I felt a lump forming in my throat. I didn't know what else to say so I just sat looking down and fighting my tears.

"I'm lost" I finally managed to get out in a low whisper between my lips "I don't know what to do or where else to go for guidance that's why I came here"

"As far as I'm concerned you're still a part of this family, so i'm glad you came to us"

The lump in my throat grew bigger- again I wanted to cry but this time from happiness and gratitude for being accepted back into the family because no matter how much I wanted to deny it there was a part of me that still cared deeply about them. At this moment I couldn't be more glad and relieved that Carlisle's gift was empathy.

"I appreciate that" I swallowed "What about Edward and the others? I feel like they won't accept me back into the family so easily"

"I will talk with them" he reassured "As for Edward, i'm sure we'll find a way to deal with the situation"

"You guys shouldn't have to choose between me and Edward" I said "But you know I'll fight him if I have to"

"it won't come to that" he continued "There's always ways to find a peaceful solution to a problem if only you're willing to look for it"

"It doesn't matter anyway" I said in a broken voice "I am the reason all of this is happening. I'm not supposed to be here and if I disappear everything will be alright"

"I believe that all of us have a choice" Carlisle said "Or free will if you prefer. Just like vampires are doomed to hunt humans we have decided to deny our fate and create our own and that's what you can do Adam. You can carve your own path"

"It's just.. I don't want to die" I admitted my deepest fear out loud to myself for the first time, and finally I broke and let my tears flow freely before wiping them away "The truth is i'm scared and I always have been because I want to live and I don't know what the afterlife looks like and having to let go terrifies me"

"Look at it from a different perspective, maybe this is the universe giving you a second chance"

"I don't feel like I deserve that"

"Everyone deserves a second chance Adam, even if we are damned regardless" he said as a small smile spread across his angelic features.

"Thank you Carlisle, for all of this"

He smiled and stood up "If you decide to stay, your room is still as you left it"

"I will stay" I confirmed, mostly in affirmation to myself "But I have to do something first" I continued "I left Bella alone last night and she must be panicking right now"

He nodded "You should go to her"

I stood up and got ready to leave but then turned around to face Carlisle as a question burned at the back of my mind of something I promised Bella.

"One last thing before I go" I said, directing my attention to him "Can Bella come over tonight?"

He pondered over my question for a moment but then gave a slight affirmative nod "Of course" he said "If she's important to you then she's always welcome here but i'll have to inform the others first"

"I need you all to swear that you won't do anything to harm her"

"You have my word" Carlisle said.

The Cullens were an important part of my life ever since I arrived in Forks and despite the ups and downs they were the only family I had left. Ideally I would have loved to introduce her to my biological family and it saddened me that would never be possible, but they had to meet her officially- especially Alice knowing the bond they will develop and knowing that both the Cullens and Bella would be happier having each other in their lives.

I left the mansion and when I approached Charlie's house from a distance I saw Bella was sitting on the front porch.