yo dawg, check it. new day in royal woods, sun's shinin and birds are singin and shit. clyde and ronnie anne are chillin, trying to recover from that sick beatdown they got from them preppy bitches.

suddenly, BOOM! the physical concept of linear time busts in like the kool-aid man on crack. this mofo is PISSED. he all "I AM TIME AND I'M SICK OF Y'ALL MESSIN WITH ME!"

time starts slappin fools left and right. he bitch-slaps mr. grouse so hard the old man turns into a baby. flip's burgers start cookin backwards, raw patties poppin out the grill.

time's going HAM on royal woods. he kicks a tree and it shrinks back into an acorn. he punches a car and it turns into a horse and buggy. shit's wild, fam.

meanwhile, lincoln's at home, chillin like a villain. he's all "wat up girl jordan, u want sum fuk?" into his phone while munchin on some flamin hot cheetos.

next room over, lori's freakin out cuz she just found out she's preggo with 200 babies. bobby's there cryin like a lil bitch, but he happy af. "we gonna need a bigger crib, babe!" he sobs. he's a HAPPY KEK.

lincoln don't give a fuck tho. he's too busy being a lying thot.

but then the school bus rolls up, even tho it's saturday night. lincoln's like "aw hell naw" and busts out his lincoln suit. this shit got a bobblehead of his own damn head on it. he's locked and loaded, ready to turn that school into swiss cheese.

"time to teach them teachers a lesson," he growls, marching out the door like he's bout to drop the hottest diss track of 2023.

and that's the tea, sis. royal woods is fuuuuuucked.

The sun hung low on the horizon, painting Royal Woods in a breathtaking array of warm hues. Golden light filtered through the trees, casting long shadows across the quiet streets. The sky was ablaze with a gradient of orange and red, as if the heavens themselves were on fire.

Commander Higehige stepped out of his sleek, black government-issue vehicle, his massive eyebrows casting shadows of their own in the fading light. His blue suede suit stood out starkly against the warm tones of the sunset, a reminder of the urgent mission that brought him to this small town.

As he walked down Franklin Avenue, the golden hour intensified. Every surface seemed to glow with an otherworldly light. The shadows grew longer and deeper, creating a stark contrast with the brilliantly lit areas. Power lines cut across the sky like black brushstrokes on a canvas of fire.

Higehige spotted Lincoln, decked out in his Lincoln Costume, marching down the sidewalk with determination and a bobbling oversized head of his own head The commander stepped into his path, his eyebrows twitching with urgency.

"Lincoln Loud," Higehige said, his voice deep and authoritative. "We need to talk. Time is running out."

Lincoln froze, his eyes widening as they locked onto Higehige's face. "Those eyebrows..." he muttered, his left eye twitching involuntarily.

Higehige, attempting to look as badass as possible in his blue suede suit, pointed dramatically to the sky. Lincoln followed his gaze, past the crisscrossing power lines, to a point of red light that seemed to be growing larger by the second.

"What... what is that?" Lincoln asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"That, my boy," Higehige replied grimly, "is our impending doom. And you're the only one who can stop it."