If I were patient, I'd wait and post this on August 4th - but I'm not!

Happy reading :)

August 4

5 Months, 2 Weeks, 6 Days

Size: Papaya

"Wow, Sookie, this looks amazing!" I gush taking in The Dragonfly sponsored picnic table covered in a red, white and blue buffalo checkered tablecloth. It's masterly set with every flavor of pie imaginable and each pie is displayed as if a piece of art at the Louvre on varying heights of pie plates with dough stars and striped lattices and whatever other pie terminology I have absolutely no education on. Whatever the case, it's beautiful. "You must have been up all night baking!"

"Try all week!" she admits cheerily, still bustling around the table. "I made ten different pies! Apple, peach, cherry, strawberry, blueberry. I've been up to my elbows in homemade pie dough all week!"

"The Barefoot Contessa has nothing on you!"

She steps next to me, her hip bumping mine as she holds out a piece of apple pie for me, "And definitely not that Jeff the Chef over in Woodbridge, right?"

"Who?" I ask coyly, tucking my chin into my shoulder playfully.

"Exactly!"

She giggles to herself and I chuckle, taking the offered plate. I manage to pluck a piece of apple out of the crust and pop it into my mouth hesitantly. And for the first time in a very long time, the baked sugary goodness meets my taste buds with a chipper 'Hello! How do you do?'. Pleased with the change, I follow after her while chewing in pure bliss. We make our way to our spot by the lake where a large striped umbrella shades the four chairs and blanket we laid out to face the water.

So far, there's quite a turn out. Despite the heat and humidity, everyone seems to be having a good time by either cooling down in the lake, standing around while drinking a beer and talking, or playing a game of volleyball. Lulu put together a kids' event and the majority of kids under the age of ten flock to her, including Davey and Martha.

The town is towning.

It's a good day for a town event and no one, and I mean no one, is happier to be here than me. So what if my ankles and feet are swollen or if I'll have to run to the bathroom every twenty minutes? This town is my home and my brief hiatus was madness.

I smooth out the stripes on my navy and white summer dress before glancing up and allowing my eyes to drift to Luke who's standing with Jackson out on the pier. He's clad in a navy blue t-shirt, shorts and a pair of leather sandals with his arms crossed over his chest. He and Jackson are talking seriously, pointing up into the sky every few seconds and then looking around.

I stare at Luke through my sunglasses as I kick off my sandals, befuddled by everything that transpired due to April's pop up appearance last night. Did Luke actually agree and then insist on talking about our problems? Did we openly talk about our dreams, our kids, and his insistence on fighting Anna when it comes to me? Did he really let April join in on movie night and genuinely apologize for everything that went wrong between the two of us?

He did.

And it's a lot.

And as if that wasn't enough, when I made my way downstairs this morning to have breakfast, Rory's eyes popped over to me so quickly, I was worried her baby blues would catapult right out of her skull like Jim Carrey's in The Mask. I had no idea what was going on, but with just that one look, I knew something was up. She was sitting down at the table, an impressively large full plate of eggs and bacon and pancakes in front of her, right next to April. Both girls' eyes darted to Luke and then back to me expectantly. It's then that I noticed that the black hat that usually sat atop Luke's head had been replaced with my blue hat. What the hell is that supposed to mean?! I didn't have a clue, and I still don't! The moment Luke greeted me good-morning, he set a plate full of fluffy eggs, bacon, toast, and fruit right in front of me. My stomach was growling so loudly, I never once stopped myself from sitting and devouring the plate. Well, the food on the plate, not the actual . . . you know, plate.

And then he was gone, checking in on the diner so he could close it early for tonight.

And all the touching last night. Oh god. The way his big, warm hand gently, but firmly wrapped around mine. Not to mention his hands on my bump and the way he softened when he felt Lilly or Will kicking against his palm. I began to feel -

"Here hon," I snap out of my thoughts and gaze to the left to find a sly smirk on my best friend's face as she waves a red napkin in my direction. "I thought you might need this," I frown, confused. "You're drooling." She glances back out toward the pier, toward Luke to make her point clear.

"No I'm not!" I protest, my face warming, glancing back out at him one last time before tearing my gaze away.

I might as well be.

Fourth of July (or Fourth of August) Luke is my favorite small town Luke. Out of all the holidays, this one is his favorite. It's the one day of the year when Luke the Hermit emerges from his dark cave to be the leading man in the town's festivities. He orders hot dogs, burgers and buns and asks for Sookie's help with sides and desserts. Then, he spends the evening grilling for the town before concluding the night with a firework show he spent the entire year in advance planning. It's the one time of the year he's more interested in showing the town a good time rather than fretting about the Ozone.

"So how's that whole thing going?" Sookie asks vaguely, swinging her fork in Luke's direction.

"What thing?" I lean over and plunge my fork into Sookie's piece of peach pie, lifting out a single yellow, juicy peach, shoving it in my mouth and trying to not look out at Luke. Don't worry, she doesn't mind. "Oh! The peaches are good too!"

She refuses to be deterred, even by my expanding food tolerance. "The whole having April live with you and Luke thing."

"Considering I don't officially live with Luke, it's going well."

Sookie rolls her eyes. "Lorelai, come on!"

"Come on what? What do you want to know?"

"You can't just sneak your best friend in the whole entire world a text in the middle of movie night to tell me Luke is finally allowing you to spend time with April and not expect me to ask about it! Especially when you add on that he's finally stood up to Anna. So, come on, give me something - anything!" Her voice gets higher and higher in pitch as she grows impassioned. "I'm dying here! How are the two of you getting along?"

"April's great," I answer vaguely. "It's just like I told you after her birthday party, she's awesome, and I think she likes me. We bonded."

Sookie looks like she's going to reach over and strangle me if I don't give her more.

"After I texted you and got back to the girls, April was still curled up on the chair watching the movie. I don't know, Sookie. It's the first time Rory and I have had another girl, besides you or Lane, with us just hanging out. I was worried it'd be weird, ya know? But it wasn't. She not only joined in with me and Rory when we made our commentary and jokes about the movie, but she kept up."

"Did you three go see if Kirk made an appearance?"

"No," I shake my head. "She fell asleep, but that's probably for the best. I can't imagine Anna liking me walking her daughter into town in the middle of the night to watch a streaker."

"Probably not," Sookie agrees. "But it sounds to me like April fits."

"Yeah," I admit with a heavy sigh. "She's funny and kind and brainy and keeps up."

"So what's the problem?"

I glance to the right where Andrew's rolling book cart filled with American themed books is stationed. It's overflowing with books about past presidents, American Literature, and the likes. It's filled with The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Into the Wild and a ton of other books that I'd find boring - but Rory would love. Both Rory and April are busy sifting through the books, turning toward one another every few seconds to show the other what treasures they find.

Sookie's not wrong, in fact, she's said it perfectly; April effortlessly fits.

"The problem is Luke is going to wake up and freak out about potentially losing April and kick me out of his life again."

"I don't think so," Sookie says. "He seems very protective of you. I've never seen a man know the whereabouts of his girl the way he does on you or keep such a detailed list of what food her pregnancy can take."

"First, I'm not his girl," I point out. "And second, no, he's just protective of his kids."

"Lorelai, you know everything he's doing right now is him circling the car back around for you, right?"

"The car?" I furrow a brow, puzzled. "What car?"

"You know," She raises her eyebrows and leans toward me. "The car."

"Sookie, what in the world are you talking about?"

Impatient, she turns to face me. "When you and Luke broke up, you said he wouldn't unlock the car door for you, and that you were hurt from holding onto the bumper and hitting all the potholes." I inhale sharply, looking away, as her words remind me all too well of the pain that consumed me during that time. "He's not just turning the car around, so he can unlock the door and have you jump in. He's circling the car, unlocking it, jumping out and holding the door open so he can close it behind you once you're safely back inside," she pauses until I look back over at her. "He loves you, Lorelai, just give it time. This whole fighting Anna thing is him fighting for you."

"Sookie, that's ridicu-"

"No!" She lifts a finger. "It's not ridiculous! It's the truth."

"We're over. We're done!" I insist. "And this time it's for good. He's just watching out for me because I'm pregnant with the goods. I don't mean anything to him anymore. In fact, last night we both agreed to being friends again."

She blinks. "You did? He did?"

"Well," I think back to our conversation. "Not in so many words, but yeah. We agreed to talk and that's basically the same thing!"

"Lorelai, in what world is that the same thing?"

"We never communicated when it had to do with our relationship and we were officially together. If something bad or uncomfortable came up, we'd find a way to ignore it or fight or have really great, mind-blowing sex. We never just flat out talked. But when we were friends . . ." I trail off and throw out a hand, palm up, as if that explains everything. "We went to each other for everything. We talked about everything. Even the hard stuff."

"Please! That is not agreeing to friendship. Trust me, Luke has no interest in just being your friend. That may be what you're trying to convince yourself of because you're terrified of starting up something with him again, but him not loving you is like you not drinking coffee - impossible."

"Except I'm not drinking coffee."

"For now."

I side eye her.

"You will drink coffee again, won't you?"

"Eventually, yes, after the babies are born."

"Exactly. With time, you will go back to loving coffee because that's a part of you the same way loving you is a part of Luke. He's coming back around, Lorelai. He didn't just wait for you for eight years," she goes on as I discard my plate to the side, suddenly no longer interested in this conversation or in the food. "He pined after you. He longed for you. You may be in some weird denial thing, making yourself believe that all he wants from you is friendship, but anyone with eyes can see he wants more."

"And how do you know that Sherlock?" I snap, annoyed.

She doesn't flinch. Instead, she says simply, "Because when you're not looking at him, he's looking at you."

I glance toward the pier, and sure enough, there he stands, his backwards blue baseball capped head turned in my direction - watching me as Jackson rattles on and on next to him.

It has to be a coincidence.

Scenes from the last year come flooding back.

'No secrets.'

'Two months?! You've known for two months?'

'Let me be a part of it.' 'No.'

'I can't jump like this!'

'What do I care? You proposed in the first place.'

'We're not right, let's stop pretending we're something we're not.'

'And to think, all this time I've been feeling guilty about not telling you about April and keeping you away from her, only to find out you'd been having an affair behind my back. Turns out Anna and I made the right decision in keeping you away!'

"Well, what if that's not what I want? I told you, it's over."

Sookie's eyebrows raise for the umpteenth time. "Honey, you love Luke more than you love coffee."

"The problem has never been my love for him, Sookie! It has everything to do with his love for me. He doesn't love me, not really, at least not enough to commit and marry me. How many times am I supposed to take him back? How many times am I supposed to just let him back in and hope that maybe this time he won't freak out and ditch me? Plus, the whole coffee analogy isn't working, I don't love coffee right now, it makes me sick!

Her sad green eyes meet mine, "Maybe not, but we both know you will love it again."

Hours later, I toss my flip flops down on the ground at the path head, slip my swollen feet into them and begin to make my way from the lake to the parking lot via a dirt path. I take my time, enjoying the quiet walk between the tree flanked path, wave hello to those who just make it to the party, and come to a complete stop the moment Luke hikes into view.

I push every word of Sookie's speech away, unwilling to even take them into consideration for fear it'd make this interaction awkward.

"Oh, hey," he says with a friendly smile, his arms loaded with another load of fireworks and a couple bottles of water. "Are you leaving?" He frowns, disappointed. "The show's going to start soon. Are you not feeling well? Is it too hot?"

"I'm just running to the Jeep to grab a bottle of water. I didn't bring enough down to the lake."

"April would have grabbed one for you," he says, concerned while holding one of his out to me. "Or you could have at least jumped on the golf cart or I would have gotten you one."

"I know. April offered to go for me more than once," I twist open the cap, take a long swig and savor the chilled beverage as it slides down my throat and cools me in the process. "She's really sweet, you know?" He smiles and nods once, clearly still unsure how we should navigate this April situation. Thankfully, a squirrel runs from one tree to the other, barking at the two of us for invading its game of chase with another squirrel, giving us a distraction and somewhere else to place our attention. "Wait, what golf cart?"

"You haven't seen Miss Patty decked out her dance studio golf cart? It's ridiculous. She and Babette are driving around as if they're in a Fourth of July parade. I'm sure they'd happily pick you up and have you join them."

I laugh out loud at the visual. "They're probably trying to find Miss Patty's next husband."

"Speaking of…" He manages to gather all his things in one hand, grabs onto my arm and pulls me gently to the side of the path when a golf cart comes rumbling up the path in our direction.

Luke wasn't joking, not only is the golf cart fully decked out, so are the two women. They're dressed in patriotic colors with gaudy, albeit festive, light up headbands that match the plastic star lights that hang from the roof of the golf cart. Three oversized Uncle Sam hats are secured to the roof while red, white and blue fringe hang on the side of the cart, with an American flag bunting secured to the front. A blue cooler is strapped carefully in the back with bungee cords, no doubt concealing the contraband Founder's Day Punch.

It's gaudy and playful and I love everything about it.

"Wow! Look at the two of you!" I chuckle brightly. "Are you throwing out bead necklaces, too?"

"Lorelai, Sugah!" Babette rasps, concerned. "Why in the world are you walking to the parking lot? It's hard enough walking this trail while not being preg-"

But she never gets to finish her sentence because Taylor is huffing his way toward us, calling out for Luke.

"Lucas!" he yells. "Is it true you purchased twice as many fireworks as last year?"

"Uh," Luke looks confused, and gives me a concerned glance. I'm not sure why he'd be concerned about me right now, but okay. "Yeah?"

"Well, how pray tell are you planning on shooting them all off before the noise ordinance starts at ten? This town has rules, young man, and you are not above them!"

"Taylor," Luke grumbles, scowling. "The noise ordinance is pushed back for holidays."

"It's not a holiday! Young man-"

"Oh knock it off Taylor!" Miss Patty interrupts from the driver's seat in the golf cart. "You personally pushed back the Fourth of July event. Everyone loves Luke's firework show, don't make this a big deal."

"Yeah," Babette jumps in. "You spend all year upset Luke won't participate in town events and now you wanna rain on his parade? Plus the whole town is here, who's it gonna botha?"

The town selectman sighs loudly and shakes his head while turning toward Luke, "If I hear from Mrs. Callihan that you kept her up with your loud-"

"Once Mrs. Callihan takes out her hearing aids, she wouldn't hear Jumanji erupting in her house," I point out.

This, friends, is a very valid point that Taylor takes to heart.

"Okay fine, but if I hear any complaints, you will hear from me, do you hear me?"

"Loud and clear," Luke says simply, unbothered. Which, consequently, bothers Taylor, which by extension amuses the hell out of me.

And with that, Taylor's off and Babette and Miss Patty are asking if we want to hitch a ride back on their golf cart. We both decline, though Luke happily and stealthily places his bounty in the back to be hauled down to the lake. I bite the corner of my bottom lip into my mouth as he turns and walks with me toward my Jeep.

"You don't have to-" I motion toward the path.

"I want to," he says simply, nodding. "Plus, I don't think we'll have any time to be alone today and we haven't had any time to talk yet."

I scrunch up my nose. "I had hoped that maybe we wouldn't…"

He smiles his understanding as his gaze drifts to the trail, crows feet appearing at the corners of his eyes. He's relaxed. Calm. Strong. Handsome. "I suppose that's why we have rules, right?" he asks.

"Yes, I suppose so, but you know I'm a rule breaker. A true rebel, call me Robin Hood!" I get into the comparison. "So if you want to not talk, Little John, that'd be okay with me."

"How's that whole not using humor when we talk about the right things going?"

I groan, having forgotten all about that part of the agreement. When he comes to a stop, I pivot to face him. We stare at each other for a moment before I push a dark strand of hair from my eyes when a refreshing breeze blows past the two of us. The sun is beginning to lower and long golden rays dance through the trees. It's that magical time of day right before sunset where everything is cast in a magical golden hue.

"I want to talk and today's your day to pick the topic," he points out, clearly not taking me up on my offer.

Oh boy.

I nod, wracking my brain, trying to think up something that won't be too emotional to talk about. Everything seems so touchy, as if by nearly thinking about it, the good thing that has begun to bloom between the two of us will wither and die with the slightest touch. We've gotten to a decent spot, I don't want to mess it up.

But honestly, everything between us is still tense and emotional, we've just gotten used to this normal, and that's precisely why we need to talk.

I sigh deeply, landing on a subject.

"Ok, I got it."

"Hit me with it," he says standing in front of me, crossing his arms over his chest for comfort.

"There's one other Christopher thing you don't know," I say and then immediately think of another. "Well, two."

He inhales sharply, drops his arms and moves to pass me, groaning, "I changed my mind, I don't want to talk."

I grab onto his arm to stop him. "Come on, it's not a big deal, I promise. I just didn't tell you when it happened and I feel…" I trail off, beginning to understand now just how messed up I've been with all things Christopher related. "That you should know everything."

He nods, and allows me to pull him back to me.

"I watched his daughter for him one day," I say simply. "He took his mother to his father's grave and he didn't think Gigi would think it was all that fun, so I offered to watch her."

His brows furrow.

"I don't remember exactly when that happened, but you and I were still together. It was toward the end of our relationship. I was trying to be his friend. It didn't go all that well. She screamed and disobeyed every single thing I said, she's no Shirley Temple, that's for sure. That explains the black sharpie Michelangelo artwork on the floor by the couch by the way." He raises his eyebrows and I have no clue if it's because I've explained the mysteries of life or if it's because I've already failed at not adding humor to our conversations. Whatever it is, he doesn't stop me. "Chris and I fought when he picked her up. Nothing else happened, but I just thought you should know because it was the one last thing having to do with Christopher that you didn't know."

His attention drifts to two squirrels playing a few feet away. Apparently, they've just accepted our presence.

"Are you mad?" I ask when he still says nothing.

"No. But what else?" he asks. "You said there were two things."

"Ah," I roll my eyes, annoyed I brought it up. Do I even need to tell him this? It wasn't even my doing.

Maybe if I keep it simple, he won't ask questions.

"My Mom invited Chris to a Friday Night Dinner, well, that Friday we broke up."

"Well he is Rory's Da-"

"Rory wasn't there."

His eyes wearily pop up to mine.

Deciding we need to break the intensity of the moment, I turn and begin walking toward the parking lot again as I begin to explain, "Mom decided to act as matchmaker and claimed that she invited Chris to dinner so she could set him up on a blind date."

"Why do you say that like you don't believe her?"

"I did, but I recently found out that she only tried to set him up to make me jealous," I glance over at him. "Mom knew I was upset about what was happening between you and me, so she put Christopher in front of me because she knew I'd get jealous."

"Obviously that worked," he whispers so quietly that had I not been looking at him, I wouldn't have heard his words.

"No," I take a hold of his arm, stopping him. "I wasn't jealous at all. That night had nothing to do with him. Actually, Mom's ruse was to try to set him up with Linny, a therapist. By the end of the night, I ended up in the back of her car spilling my guts out to her."

"What?" His face breaks out in confusion. "A therapist? You talked to a therapist?"

"Yeah."

He shakes his head, his eyes raking my face, trying to understand. "You really never told me anything, ever, did you?"

"You weren't exactly Honest Abe either."

"What did she say?"

"She pointed out I didn't have you the way I wanted you and that I wouldn't get what I wanted if I didn't ask for it. So after I talked to her, I found you at the diner and asked you to marry me. Or rather begged," I close one eye, wincing. "Maybe demanded is a better word. I can see now I went about it the wrong way."

"So you went to him," he says simply, neither angry nor mad.

"I know, it was a crappy indiscretion and you'll never know how sorry I am about going to him and hurting you."

"You had to have known what that would do to me."

"I had no plan to tell you about it!"

"Oh, okay, so that makes it okay," he snaps sarcastically, turning away from me, pissed.

I move quickly, stepping in front of him to stop him from walking away and shutting down on me. "Luke, I don't think you have any clue what you meant to me."

He snorts, allowing his gaze to travel past my head.

"You are the only person I've ever felt safe with and when I lost you, I panicked," I admit looking up into his face. Finally, he looks down at me. His dark blue eyes looking into my own, trying to understand.

"You have Rory."

"I do. I love her, and she's my everything, but you know it's not the same. You have April and that's not the same thing as having me, is it?"

"I didn't leave. You didn't lose me."

"You did and I did. Come on, Luke, just admit it, things changed between us. We weren't together the way we had always been. We weren't even as close as we were when we were friends. You pushed me away. I was an unwelcome guest in your life."

He inhales sharply, closing his eyes. "I just needed a minute to deal with everything, you couldn't have given me that?"

"I gave you months and instead of things getting better, things grew worse between the two of us. What was I supposed to do? Just hope one day you'd open your eyes and remember me?" I glance around to make sure we're still alone. "Listen, I didn't mean for our conversation to go here," I pause, stepping closer to him, knowing now is the time to make sure he knows the truth. "But Luke, please believe me when I tell you nothing romantic happened between me and Christopher when you and I were together. He wasn't even a speck on my radar. When I was with you, I was with you. Besides Rory, there was nothing and no one else in my world. Not even Christopher."

My words slam into him like a wave against a seawall. His entire body tenses as if he's been struck by lightning. His eyes squeeze together tightly and he pinches the bridge of his nose, as if to help release the tension. He sidesteps me and begins to walk away.

"We agreed to talk and not storm off," I call after him, wondering where I'm getting the courage to have this honest conversation with him. "We agreed to talk about the hard things."

He stalls, his back still to me.

"I've done a lot of things wrong," I continue. "But I never cheated on you, Luke. Every time I was with him before we broke up, it was just me trying to be a good friend and yes, I hid it and yes, I should have told you, but there wasn't even a romantic thought toward him so I didn't see the point. And I'm sorry I kept things from you that made you believe that I didn't love you or respect you or our relationship. I'm sorry I went to him that night," I add on softly. "It was wrong, and I am so, so sorry."

"Then tell me why," he whips around walking back to me, clearly hurt, tears glistening in his eyes. "Why did you go to him? Did you love hi-"

"No! I've never lo-" I stumble over the word, struggling to get it out. "I've never truly loved anyone other than you. I just needed things to change. I needed the pain to stop and I knew I'd never have enough strength to leave you and that you would never willingly let me leave so I did what I knew would draw a wedge between us. I needed to feel loved that night and it was wrong, but I knew Christopher would give me what I wanted."

He swallows hard at my admission, knowing how hard it is for me to vocalize, his eyes are on mine and he rakes my face, seeking the truth in my eyes. I force myself to stare back openly, my own eyes tearing up in response to the ones in his, praying he'll see the truth in my eyes.

"Your Mom did it on purpose, didn't she?" he asks dejectedly. "To get you away from me and to him."

"I'm the one who messed up. I'm the one who made the poor decisions that night, not my Mom."

"But she had a hand in it?"

I roll my neck, closing my eyes as I think back to that horrifying conversation in the gravel driveway with my mom. I nod my confirmation. "And that's why I'm not seeing my parents."

He looks away from me and nods, swallowing, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"Please believe me, Luke," I reach out and touch one of his arms. "What you and I had," I pause, surprised by the twang of pain still very present in my chest, I take a deep breath to control myself. "It was special to me. I've never had that with anyone else, and I did not step out on you when we were together. I would never do that. Please believe me."

He looks away, into the woods, and stares there for a long moment. It takes everything within me to not fill the void of silence with an inappropriate joke or endless babbling or push him to respond. But for once, I don't. I know not to push and to just let him think. After what feels like an eternity, he whispers, "Okay."

"Okay?" I mock, narrowing my eyes suspiciously at him. "What does 'okay' mean?"

"It means, okay," His eyes soften as they meet mine. "I believe you."

Relief floods through me like rain on dry cracked land after a long draught. "Thank you, Luke."

"But," he pauses, rubbing his face roughly with both hands. "There was something there between the two of you, wasn't there? I wasn't imagining the whole thing?"

I exhale, my shoulders drooping. "A little, I guess, yes."

He hates my answer, I can see it in the way his jaw tenses.

"But he and I aren't good together. He just loved the idea of me and a part of me hadn't let go of the teenage bond we shared," I admit. "But once we were together, it became obvious we weren't good together. I've let it all go. He's done. We're history. He likes to pretend we're the same, and that he despises our childhood just as much as I do, but honestly, now that he has money, he wants the same lifestyle we grew up with. He thought we'd hire nannies for the kids and a maid and I'd run around the world with him and leave our kids home."

Luke's eyebrow furrows in confusion.

"Oh yeah, he thought you'd willingly let him adopt our twins and take a step back."

"Like I'd ever let that happen!"

"That's what I told him."

Luke shifts on his feet, never really directly looking at me. "But you were pretty heartbroken over breaking up with him."

"I was?"

"Well yeah, you were home wallowing in your living room when I found you. You weren't even eating the ice cream on your coffee table. You looked like you hadn't showered and you were wearing dirty clothes that didn't even match and you had rings and bags under your eyes you were… sad. I've never seen you that sad. It scared the hell out of me."

"First of all, I couldn't eat anything at the time, so the ice cream doesn't count. And second, I was that sad when you broke up with me the first time," I point out. "I don't think you understand that I never allowed myself time to stop and think after I walked away from you the night of the ultimatum. Luke, I wasn't wallowing over Christopher. I was wallowing over our break up." I have never, in my life, seen Luke look so surprised. I can't help but laugh. "Did you really think that was all about Christopher?"

He looks toward the trail, unable to meet my eyes.

"That was all about you and me, babe," I go on, smacking my hand gently against his. "I finally stopped running and allowed myself to feel sad about what happened between us."

"I didn't want to make you sad," He glances at me. "I hate that I hurt you."

"I know, I do. And I hate that I hurt you, but sometimes life is sad. Sometimes we hurt those we love the most and the only thing we can do is learn from our mistakes and try harder to be better people.

"You were right about him, by the way, Christopher. Everything you said about him not being there for Rory and how he has alternative motives? You were right. He hardly mentioned Rory when we were together and she hasn't heard from him since we broke up."

Clearly chagrined by my statement, he shakes his head once. "I don't want to be right about that. Rory deserves better."

"She has you though, doesn't she?"

"She always has me," he says without hesitation and when I look back up at him, he adds, "You both do."

My lips part and then we do this stupid thing we've begun to do: we just stare at each other. I don't know how long we stand there like idiots, time kind of just stands still when we hit this state, but before too long, a honk from down the trail crashes into our moment, causing the both of us to jump and look away from each other.

"What in the world is taking you two so long?" Babette calls out as Miss Patty pulls up next to us. "Get your water and let's go! The sun has set and showtime is in twenty minutes!"

And that is how our moment is broken. Not that I'm complaining, Luke and I would have either had to start making out or start screaming at each other to break the tension that was brewing between the two of us.

While Luke jogs the rest of the way to the parking lot to grab another water, I manage to climb into the backseat of the golf cart and get situated.

"You'll never believe it!" Babette says when Luke hops in next to me. Miss Patty begins driving, though a little too gung-ho on the gas pedal. "Both of you will be happy to hear that April has made a couple new friends in town!"

"Really?" Luke asks as we both grip onto a handle as Miss Patty begins to zoom her way back to the lake. Fast. "Patty slow down!"

"Oh hold your horses and be a man!"

"Have you forgotten Lorelai's pregnant?" Luke ducks when a thin branch nearly whacks him in the face when Miss Patty steers the cart a little too close to the edge of the path.

"I'm fine!" I lie, not wanting to appear fragile.

"Luke, I'm hardly moving," Miss Patty complains as she bumps along. "This thing can really move. If you think this is fast, you should experience it with the gas pedal all the way dow-"

"This doesn't feel safe for Lorelai or the babies. Or for any of us really."

"Sugah! She says she's fine!"

"Slow down!" Luke demands, scooting closer to me, resting an arm on the back of my seat. "She could fall out."

"I'm fine."

We hit a bump so hard, the entire golf cart goes airborne for what feels like three entirely too long slow-mo seconds before crashing back down to the ground. I yelp, truly afraid of falling out this time, but Luke's arm falls from the back of my seat and wraps around my shoulders to hold me in.

"Patty! If you don't slow down I will use my right not to serve you in the diner!"

And that does it.

"Okay fine!" she bemuses as she presses down on the break and we all jerk violently forward in momentum.

Both Luke and I reach out with our free hands to stop ourselves from splattering against the seat in front of us like bugs on a windshield.

"Oh my god!"

"Are you okay?" Luke asks, arm still wrapped around my shoulders as the cart begins to speed up again. "The babies?"

"We're all okay."

"Yeah," Babette rasps a bit ruefully from the front seat while looking over at Miss Patty. "Maybe drinking Founder's Day Punch before driving this thing wasn't our best idea!"

Luke and I glance at each other in horror.

"You drank Founder's Day Punch and thought it would be a good idea to drive?"

"It was just one cup!" Miss Patty cries defensively. "And we just had it, no way has it hit our bloodstream yet. Plus this is just a golf cart - it doesn't count. Luke you're overprotective of Lorelai and the babies, you have to relax or you're going to smother all three of them."

"Miss Patty, I love you, but that last bump rivaled the closing scene of Thelma and Louise!" I pipe in, reaching out and grabbing onto Luke's knee for purchase when we make a turn at a speed that makes me nervous. "And I for one would like for my kids to live long enough to see the sun!"

"Oh my god! I still can't believe the two of you are having babies together!" Babette rasps, looking over at her friend, wide-eyed. "Can you believe it?"

"They're going to be so cute!" Miss Patty gushes. "The hair, the eyes-"

"The cheekbones? Ugh! They're going to be the cutest, most beautiful, sweetest, fast talking babies!"

Miss Patty makes a sharp turn.

"Patty!" Luke calls out. "If you want to live to see our kids, slow down."

"Oh for goodness sake, no one is dying today!" Miss Patty says with a psh as Babette laughs and pulls out an inconspicuous red solo cup.

"I guess now that you guys know about us drinking I can enjoy the rest of my drink!" Babette laughs with a shrug as she lifts it to her lips and attempts to sip it carefully even as we bump along.

"Miss Patty, I need you to stop the vehicle so I can drive us the rest of the way," Luke says leaning forward, his hand slipping down my back and curling around my side.

"Oh please, if I stopped every time a man told me to stop I'd still be in my childhood bedroom! Just relax, I'm not drinking, I'm driving slower and we're nearly there. Why if we were in Brazil…" And then I stop listening, instead honing in on the feel of Luke directly beside me.

Reluctantly, Luke leans back against his seat. His hand slides back up my arm, and he huddles me tighter against him so his hand can wrap around my shoulder. I fight the urge to enjoy how solid and strong he feels against my side as we roll down the trail back toward the lake. I'm with Luke all the time, so I've smelled him everyday, but being this close? Oh man. His woodsy, familiar masculine scent fills my senses and makes me dizzy. I have to remind myself over and over that he is only holding me out of necessity to make sure I don't fall out of the vehicle, and that there's nothing romantic about this moment, even though it feels magically and overwhelmingly romantic. It doesn't matter that the sun is now set and the red, white, and blue star lights bouncing from the roof of the vehicle gently glow and give the entire experience a festive mood. It doesn't matter that the fireflies light the woods on either side of us with an impressive in depth firework show of their own that spreads out farther than my eye can see. It doesn't matter that the entire moment feels like magic and the magic only started when Luke wrapped his arm around me. If I pretend, this could be a memory of us from last summer.

"Luke, she's right," I whisper. "Try to relax."

"I'll relax when you're safely off this death machine," he mutters out the side of his mouth, not letting go.

When we were first engaged, and he brought up kids, I'd freely allowed myself to imagine what Luke would be like if I were to get pregnant. He's exactly as I imagined.

Attentive.

Protective.

Adorable.

Wait. What? No! I shake my head at my thoughts. Luke is not adorable. I don't think of him this way anymore. He's my friend. That's it!

"You said April made some friends?" I ask, trying to distract myself from my thoughts.

"Oh yeah!" Loud bursts of enthusiasm erupt from the front seat. "You know little Megan and Tilly, right? The girls from the soccer team?"

Luke and I glance at each other, horrified, for the second time since sliding onto the vehicle.

"The three of them met out in the lake. They were doing handstands and that hair trick where you dunk your head upside down in the water, and then flip up your hair and pretend to be a Founding Father. The three kicked it off right away!"

"Ah, there you are!" I coo when Rory finally plops down in her chair next to mine. "I haven't seen you in so long I thought Bigfoot ate you or something."

"You know you don't have to mention Bigfoot every single time you and I spend time out in nature, right?"

"It's my thing," I say, swatting my daughter's arm good-naturedly. "Don't be messing with my things."

"Sorry," she mutters sarcastically, shifting her chair closer to mine so we're practically sitting leg to leg. She looks to April, Megan and Tilly who are sharing a blanket right in front of where we're sitting and lifts a chin in their direction. "Who are the two girls?"

"That would be Beckham One and Two."

"Who?"

"Killers, killers all!" I cry mockingly before slinking my arm through hers and explaining, "That would be Megan and Tilly. They play on the soccer team Luke sponsored when you and I weren't talking."

"Luke sponsored a soccer team?" she asks, baffled. "How did they ever get him to agree to that?"

"I flicked my hair and batted my eyelashes."

"Oh that," she laughs, crossing one leg over the other.

"Yeah, and believe me when I tell you, he will never sponsor a soccer team again. At least not the Bobcats. The moment they aimed to have 'o negative' on their jerseys, we were done playing soccer parents."

"Ha! You pretended to be a soccer mom?" Her eyes light up mischievously. "Did you drive a minivan too? Was it your week to provide snacks?"

"Ha! Ha!" I laugh sarcastically, tucking my hair behind my ears. "I'm pretty sure parents would stick their noses up in the air if I were to drop off Cheetos - even if it says they're made with real cheese!"

Rory glances back to the two girls lying on the blanket with April. All three are laughing and talking in the way only teenage girls can. Megan's blonde hair is split into two French braided pigtails, Tilly's flips up and out, and April's is pulled back into a low ponytail. They're dressed in bright cover ups, and appear to be sweet and harmless. Whenever I catch Megan or Tilly's eyes, they smile at me sweetly.

But I know better.

"Those two?" Rory asks. "Neither one looks like Charlie McGee."

"They may look angelic, but believe me when I tell you, on the soccer field - they're not! And whatever you do," I lean over conspiracy-like and Rory meets me in the space between our two chairs to hear my warning, "Don't cross them. They'll do a bicycle kick right off your head!"

"And what exactly is a bicycle kick?"

"I dunno," I admit, "But Luke said it and based off his fearful reaction, I'm just guessing it's bad. He's totally freaked out about April's new friendship with the Hilton sisters. I reassured him that as long as April stays away from soccer balls, she'll be just fine."

"See, this is why I never did sports!"

"And for that, I thank you." I lean back in my seat and drape a hand over my bump as I soak in the night.

The sun and all of its elongated lingering rays have faded from view, only to be replaced with dancing glow sticks and fizzing sparklers. The shore of the lake is littered with families and people happily chatting and settling into place, ready for the final hurrah of the day.

Without permission, my eyes wander out onto the dock where Luke is crouched down, preparing. Even through the darkness of night, it's easy to see the physical effects our honest conversations are having on him. He's lighter, looser, more Lukelike than I've seen in a long time. He stands upright, flicks on the lighter to make sure it works, and then allows it to flicker out. And I swear, his head darts in my direction for a moment, but it's impossible to tell what he's looking at exactly through the dark.

I glance over at Rory, catching her eyes. "You should know, we agreed to talk," I glance back out at Luke. "Me and Luke. Just like you suggested."

"Really?"

"Yeah, last night. We talked about . . ." I lift my chin in April's direction. "And her . . ." Again, I go silent, indicating her mother. "And then today when I went to get water from the Jeep, we talked about Christopher. We've cleared everything up. We've both apologized about everything and we have a whole system for talking set up. We've agreed to talk every day."

"Wow! Mom, that's so great!" She gives me an impressed look. "You two cover ground fast. Watching the two of you work through your self-induced drama is like watching the Indy 500."

"Rory, when have you ever watched the Indy 500?"

"You know what I mean! If you two can successfully make it through those major topics, who knows what'll happen once you get through everything else."

I sigh, considering her words before my thoughts drift over to Sookie's words about Luke circling the car to come pick me up. Could she be right? Could he really still love me? And, more importantly, could he love and trust me enough to marry me? I doubt it. I know Luke, if he wanted more, he'd make it clear. Yes, he's wearing the hat I gave him, but that began as a friendly gesture. So, no, until he makes it clear that he wants me, I'm not even going to worry myself over whether or not I could give my heart to him again. It's just a waste of time.

Before I can dissect my relationship with Luke further, his dark figure rushes off the dock in the dark, the dock click-clacking with his retreat. Fireworks begin to explode above us in a magical shower of color, one magnificent firework exploding right after the other with a celebratory boom. Sookie, Jackson, Martha, and Davey make their way back to our site. We all sit together, oohing and ahhing, sharing which fireworks are our favorites and clapping after each installment.

It's a beautiful and impressive show, but one that secretly saddens me and fills me with melancholy. Last summer, I watched the show from the end of the dock. Luke would light the fuse to a series of fireworks, and then rush back to shore to wrap an arm around my shoulders. And, because I'm me, I yakked the entire time I wasn't oohing and ahhing. I let him know exactly what I thought about each firework, and shared how my favorite ones were the delicate silver fireworks that jet up into the night sky in a single glittery line, explode, and then magically fizzle into a million little stars that slowly hovered back down into the water. I shared how it was just like our romance. How we've always had a spark and how the glittery line was all the years that led us to each other, only to explode into something beautiful when we finally got together. At first, wanting to keep his grumpy persona intact, he rolled his eyes at my analogy and muttered something about me being absurd. But then, a few short seconds later, in an unusual display of PDA, he wrapped his arms around my waist, hugged me back against his chest, kissed the side of my head sweetly, and rested his chin on my shoulder as we took in the view. Things weren't perfect at the time. Rory was living in the pool house and I wasn't sure how long we'd go without talking, but with Luke, I knew I was okay. I'd turned my head, looked up to catch his twinkling eye and teased that if he really wanted to let me know how much he loved me, he'd do a show with only those fireworks - just for me. He'd already had all the fireworks set up, so it was impossible to do, but he told me he'd store that little fact in his brain.

I doubt he even remembers it.

And yet, for me, it'll be the memory I'll hold onto forever, remembering it as a time when I felt truly loved and safe. A time when I foolishly believed I'd have it all. My middle.

Tonight's show goes on well past ten, and surprisingly, Taylor seems to have forgotten all about the noise ordinance and Mrs. Callihan. Everyone loses track of time, just like we do when we all get together.

When the show finally comes to an end with a spectacular finale, an uproar of cheers erupts from the crowd. Comments about this being Luke's best show yet and questions of how he'll ever top this years' fireworks next year travel from one group to the other.

I push away the sadness that weighs me down, instead forcing myself to smile at everyone as we begin to say our goodbyes. Rory, Sookie, Jackson and I chatter as we begin to collect our belongings. And then, just as I'm turned away from the lake, ready to fold up my chair, that familiar click clacking of the dock reverberates off the water followed by a soft whoosh. The crowd begins to murmur excitedly. I glance up, noticing everyone's excited eyes lit and focused on the lake.

I turn around, eyes widening and lips parting as I stare up at a million delicate silver fireworks jetting up into the inky black night sky, one glittery line shooting up one after another, exploding, and then magically fizzling into a million little stars.