Love at All Costs chapter 2
July 2024
"So your lawyer contacted me. You're up for parole in a few months. They want the family to put together some character references. Samantha, Jonathan and I will write letters but I didn't know who else you'd want me to ask" said Angela as she opened the box of pastries.
"I don't know Angela… I doubt anyone else is willing, able or alive to do it. You could ask Mrs. Rossini I guess…" he said as he took one of the pastries.
"Alright I will call her. I'll ask Samantha if she thinks it's a good idea for Marie and Nicholas to write a letter too. Can you imagine if Mother wrote one for you? I can only think of what that would have looked like! Helped you or hurt you… I'm not sure!" she chuckled.
"Either way it would have been colorful! Boy… I miss her…" he said sadly.
"Me too… I can't believe it's been almost ten years since she's been gone. A part of me thought she'd live forever…" she said as she wiped away some fallen tears.
"I know sweetheart. It kills me that I wasn't there when she passed away. I should have been there to help take care of her when she was sick and to be there for you…" he said as he held onto her hands.
"It wouldn't have changed the outcome. She had the best care possible…" she said.
"I know but I should have been there for her… for you… to have all of that in your shoulders plus dealing with all of this" he said as he gestured around him. "You shouldn't have had to do it alone…" he said.
"Let's change the subject okay? You have anymore students take their GED?" asked Angela.
"Yes actually! Three more guys took it and passed! It brings the total to forty-five since I started teaching the class. Ten years and counting…" he said.
"Tony that's wonderful! How exciting! I always knew you'd find a way to teach. It's in your blood…" she said.
"It's something I guess… at least some of these guys will have a chance once they get outta here. Maybe even make something of themselves… ya know the ones who really want to turn their lives around and aren't over the hill like me…" he said.
"You're not over the hill Tony! Besides… I'm two years older than you so watch it buddy!" she laughed, causing Tony to laugh too.
"I miss that smile, that laugh… I don't get to see or hear it nearly enough…" she said.
"You're the only one worth smiling for these days. I still don't know why you've stuck it out with me all these years. First it takes me seven years to man up and face my insecurities to tell you how I really feel about you, then I mess it up in Iowa… then worst of all this… most women would have handed me divorce papers once the bars slammed shut…" he said.
"Well… I never was most women I guess… besides I've grown quite fond of you over the years… the thought never crossed my mind over the last forty years that I'd be with anyone else but you for the long haul. I didn't quite expect so many bumps in the road but at the end of the day, love is love. Til' death do us part…" she said.
"Hopefully we get some time for us before then…" he said.
September 2005
Angela was busy the following week at work. Samantha cancelled their plans last minute so they couldn't go on their outing on Saturday. She was able to get a head start on work for the week, which was a good thing since two new clients signed with the agency that week.
Tony was busy with school. The students were getting ready for their science fair so Tony was spending extra time after school helping the students with their projects. He also was the middle school's assistant baseball coach and would spend two or three afternoons at practice with the team before coming home. By Friday, they were both again exhausted but content as they enjoyed a quiet evening at home.
Saturday morning came bright and early as the phone woke them up at half past seven. Tony, still half asleep, picked up the phone.
"Hello? Oh hi Samantha… is everything okay? Oh okay… of course we can! What time? Wait what time is it now? Okay of course! Jonathan and Luis are coming over for lunch so we will all have time together and you can join us later on! Okay see you in a few!" said Tony as he hung up.
"What's going on?" she asked as she pulled herself up to a sitting position.
"Samantha is going to drop the kids off in about a half an hour. She sounded kinda stressed out… I'm guessing she needs a break from the kids!" he said.
"Where's Hank? I would have thought he would have been around to watch the kids. Maybe he got called into work" said Angela.
"I don't know but either way we need to get up and dressed. They will be here soon! I love when they come over!" he said as he smiled and jumped out of bed to get showered and dressed.
Angela laid back down against the pillows and smiled at Tony. Her heart melted each time she watched Tony bond with their grandkids. They both decided having a baby of their own would have been too great of a risk once they finally got back together for good but a part of her heart was left broken knowing they would never have a child of their own. When Nicholas was born, she felt that part of her heart begin to heal as they were able to share a whole new experience as grandparents together.
Pulling her thoughts back to the present, she got up and grabbed her clothes to get changed. After about ten minutes, they were both ready to go and headed downstairs. Tony started making waffles for the family as Angela took out the toys. Soon, the doorbell rang, Samantha and the kids walked in.
"Morning my sweethearts! Pa is making his famous waffles!" said Angela.
"Thanks again Angela. I… I need to get stuff done around the house and with them underfoot it's nearly impossible. I'll come by to pick them up in the afternoon if that's okay" said Samantha.
"Of course! I think we are going to go on a little shopping spree this morning before Jonathan and Luis come over for lunch. Don't worry we won't go overboard I promise!" said Angela as she took Marie from her arms.
"Thanks Angela… I really appreciate it…" she said as she gave Marie a hug. She bent down to Nicholas, who was being uncharacteristically quiet.
"Alright buddy! Mommy will be back later! Remember what we talked about okay? I love you!" she said as she gave him a hug. She gave Marie a quick kiss and was back out the door.
"Okay Nicholas! How about we go get some breakfast? I think the waffles are done!" she said as she took his hand to lead them into the kitchen. Nicholas pulled back, not wanting to go into the kitchen.
"What's wrong sweetheart? Don't you want to eat?" asked Angela.
"No I wanna play here!" he shouted.
"Okay sweetheart but we don't have to yell. We can play for a little while and then we can eat…" she said.
"Okay…" he said with tears in his eyes.
"Is something wrong Nicholas? You can tell me" she said as she sat down next to him. Just then, Tony came into the living room.
"Breakfast is ready! Who's ready for some yummy waffles?" he asked enthusiastically until he saw Nicholas' face.
"What's wrong buddy?" asked Tony as he sat down on the other side of him.
"I… I can't say. Mommy told me not to…" he said. Tony was about to say something when Angela stopped him.
"How about Pa takes Marie inside and you and I play for a bit okay?" said Angela.
"But Angela…" he started when she cut him off again.
"And then we can eat something later. You'll need to eat something before our shopping trip! What do you think about a stop at the toy store?" she asked.
"Really? Okay!" shouted Nicholas as the smile returned to his face.
"Why don't you start playing while I help Pa get Marie set up to eat. I'll be right back okay?" she said as he started playing with his toys as they walked into the kitchen.
"Angela! What is going on? Samantha telling him not to tell us something?" Tony said as calmly as he could muster with the level of fear and anger building inside of him.
"I know Tony but asking him is only going to make him feel worse and hold it in. We are going to keep a very close eye on him today because my gut is telling me something bad is going on. If he still doesn't feel comfortable talking to us, maybe Jonathan can talk to him…" she said as she put Marie in the high chair.
"Okay Angela… if you think this is the best way then I won't push it… for now…" he said as he went to cut up the waffle for Marie.
Angela spent time with Nicholas until he got hungry and they joined them in the kitchen. Once they were all finished eating, Tony and Angela got them ready for their shopping trip. They loaded the kids in the car and headed to the local mall. They picked out a local department store first to pick up some things for the kids in the clothing and shoe department.
"Alright! Let's see… Mommy told me your sizes so hopefully we can find some stuff for you both!" said Angela.
"Then can we stop at the toy store?" asked Nicholas.
"Of course we can! Just as long as you are a good listener while we shop" said Angela.
"And Nanna doesn't spend all day shopping and the toy store closes!" laughed Tony as Angela shot him an angry look.
"Very funny! C'mon you guys let's go find some stuff!" she said. Soon, the shopping cart was practically full of clothing, shoes and other accessories for the kids.
"I think this is a new record for you Angela! Only one shopping cart full!" laughed Tony.
"So Nicholas…" she started to say as she purposefully ignored Tony. "What do you think of this winter coat? You're going to need one as I'm sure you've outgrown the one from last year" she said.
"I don't know… there's a lot of stuff in the cart already. Daddy doesn't like it when you guys buy us a lot of stuff…" he said.
"Well Daddy's not here and if you like it Nicholas we are going to buy it for you. If Daddy doesn't like it he can talk to me…" said Tony as he took the coat from Angela and put it in the shopping cart.
"Pa's right. You let us adults figure adult stuff out. It's nothing for you to worry about okay? How about we go check out the toy department?" she asked as the smile returned to his face.
"I think I'll go and get another cart to fill it with all the toys we're gonna get!" said Tony as he walked away. Angela knew him well enough to know he needed some time to cool off and compose himself so she didn't question it.
"Are we really going to get a whole cart full of toys?" asked Nicholas with a combined look of joy and worry.
"Let's see what we find. Maybe we can put some away for Christmas or have some new toys for our house. That way when you come over, you will have more stuff to play with!" she said.
"Okay! I think we should get some more big kid toys for Marie! She's not a baby anymore and then she doesn't have to play with my toys anymore!" said Nicholas.
"That sounds like a great plan! You think you can help me pick some stuff out for her?" she asked as she headed towards the toys.
"Sure! She really likes dolls but she also likes my building blocks! But I don't know if we should get her more blocks. Daddy gets mad when there's a big mess and blocks are messy…" he said.
"Listen sweetheart, you pick whatever you want. I know we didn't talk about it before but I want you to know that you can always talk to me and Pa about anything that's upsetting you or that makes you feel sad or scared. We will always be there for you no matter what…" she said. Nicholas was about to say something when Tony came back with a cart halfway full of toys.
"Look at all the cool stuff I found on the way back! We can put this together when we get home!" said Tony as he showed them the bouncy castle he found.
"Really Tony? Is that necessary?" she asked as she watched both kids' eyes light up at the box.
"Of course it is! We will try it when we get home! C'mon let's go look at more toys!" said Tony as he took Nicholas' hand and headed down the toy aisle. By the time they were at the checkout counter, both shopping carts were filled to the top. Tony took the kids to ride the carousel in the middle of the mall while Angela paid. They were heading out to the exit when they nearly ran into Hank walking in with a young woman.
"Dada!" squealed Marie as she reached over to Hank. Nicholas just stood there, coming closer to Angela's side.
"What are you doing here?" he asked them.
"We just needed to do a little shopping and decided to make it an outing! We thought we'd give Samantha some time to get her errands done without these two underfoot" said Angela as she sided eyed a seething Tony.
"Oh okay… I didn't realize she was dropping them off today…" said Hank with some irritation in his voice.
"I don't think we've met. I'm Tony Micelli, Hank's father-in-law. And you are?" asked Tony as he stared over at the woman and then back at Hank.
"She's one of my coworkers. Our boss sent us out to get lunch for the crew. Just picking it up and then heading back to work…" said Hank as he stared right back at Tony with a smug look on his face.
"Eh oh, oh eh…" started Tony as Angela cut him off.
"It's nice to meet you. Well we really need to get the kids home and get them some lunch. Hank, we will see you later…" said Angela as she started walking the whole crew out the exit. The vein in Tony's forehead was pulsating as he took all the bags from Angela. Angela put the kids in the car seats and headed to the passenger's side. Tony got into the driver's seat and grabbed a hold of the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were turning white. Angela gently put her hand on his arm, communicating without words everything that was on their minds, something they had perfected years earlier.
"Come on sweetheart let's go home…" said Angela as Tony simply nodded and put the car in gear to head home.
Once at home, Tony had calmed down and they all headed into the house. Jonathan and his husband Luis were waiting for them at the kitchen table.
"Uncle Jon!" shouted Nicholas as he ran into Jonathan's arms.
"Nickster! How are you? Look how big you got! And that can't be baby Marie! She's nearly doubled in size in two months!" laughed Jonathan.
"How about you take Uncle Luis outside and start setting up the bouncy castle? Nanna and Pa need to talk to Uncle Jon for a minute. You can put Marie in the tree swing" said Angela as she gave a knowing look to Jonathan and Luis.
"A bouncy castle? That sounds like fun! Let's go!" said Luis as he headed out back with Nicholas and Marie.
"So what's wrong? I know that look Mom and Tony's forehead looks like that vein is going to pop!" he said with a nervous laugh.
"Something is going on with Samantha and Hank. Last week Hank came over and yelled at Nicholas like I've never heard him. Then today we saw him at the mall with… a woman who he said was his coworker but I saw they way she looked at him before she saw us. And then… this morning Nicholas was very upset and said Samantha told him not to tell us something…" said Angela.
"Oh dear… it's still happening…" said Jonathan with a sadness in his voice.
"What is still happening?" shouted Tony.
"So Mom… Tony… you have to promise me you won't tell her I told you. She's been confiding in me for a while and I don't want to lose her trust. Please you can't tell her what I'm about to tell you" he said.
"Yes we promise" said Angela. She had to nudge Tony a few times until he reluctantly agreed.
"Okay… oh where do I begin… I guess it started back when they were trying to get pregnant and were struggling. All the testing and failed procedures really took a toll on their marriage. She… she felt like he may have been cheating. It was never anything she had proof of but it was a pretty strong gut feeling. She said things got better once Nicholas was born but after about a year, her suspicions came back. He… he also has a temper. I was on the phone with her once and he came home after the kids were asleep and I could hear him yelling, name calling her and accusing her of cheating on him…" he said.
"He's cheating on her Angela! I'm going to kill him!" he shouted.
"Why wouldn't she say something to us?" asked Angela.
"She… she didn't want to upset either of you…" he said as he looked at both of them.
"So she goes through all that testing and prodding and procedures… she goes through nine months of pregnancy twice and gives birth to his two children and he's cheating on her? Bullying her?" shouted Tony as his anger came bubbling to the surface.
"Tony calm down! The kids could come back in at anytime. Jonathan… do… do you know if he's ever… ever been physical with her?" she asked as she watched Tony's bright face become a pale shade of white.
"I don't know but… it wouldn't surprise me if it has or will happen…" he said as he looked at Tony.
"So I need you to try and talk to Nicholas. I think something happened this morning, which is why we have the kids. Nicholas was very quiet this morning and said he couldn't tell us something. Maybe… gently prod him and see if he will tell you anything. Go out there now and see while Tony and I talk" said Angela.
"Okay Mom…" he said as he gave a worried look at Tony, who looked like he was a ticking time bomb, as he stood up and headed out the back door.
"Tony…" she started to say as he slammed his hands in the table, so hard the dishes on the counter shook.
"No Angela! Whatever it is no! No I'm not staying calm! No I'm not going to be rational about this! He's bullying her? He's probably cheating on her and in the past? And… and he may have put his hands on her? I will kill him Angela! With my bare hands I will see his last breath!" he shouted.
"If he's really doing everything… everything we think he is… you will have to beat me to it because I'll kill him first! She's our daughter Tony! No one hurts our child… no one… but first we have to make sure that's what is going on. If we jump to conclusions, we risk alienating all of them… our daughter and grandkids need us…" she said.
"You're right Angela… I just see red when I think of him hurting her! How… how can she allow him to do that to her?" he asked.
"Domestic violence is… complicated. You don't think it is but it most certainly is… having a child just complicates it. You think staying in the marriage is the best thing for the kids. You convince yourself two parents are better than one. He's never crossed that line before…" she said as tears welled up in her eyes.
"Oh Angela…" he said as reached across and held onto her hands.
"Once it got physical with Michael, I knew we were done… but that pull he had over me, the charming personality, the way Jonathan idolized him… it clouds your judgement. Thankfully I came to my senses the last time he came back. We just have to be supportive of her when she's ready to tell us what's happening and let her know we will always love and support her…" she said.
"You're right Angela… flying off the handle won't do anyone any good… why don't we start lunch for everyone and then see how they are doing blowing up that bouncy castle!" he said.
"Okay Tony!" she said as they spent the next fifteen minutes preparing lunch. They were just about finished when Jonathan came through the back door, a look of fear and anger on his face.
"What's wrong Jonathan?" asked Angela.
"Mom, Tony… we have to talk… now…" he said.