When morning finally arrives, Aurie struggles to drag her ass out of bed. Not that she wants to get up before the alarm goes off but sleeping right up until six a.m. is not an option thanks to her bladder and period.
Grudgingly, she gets ready and packs the rest of her things, feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. Several consecutive bad nights and days of rollercoaster upheaval will certainly do that to a girl. She won't even get to nap on the drive back to California since she told Steve last night she'd talk with him about their relationship.
So much for keeping him at a distance until she's eighteen.
Sighing heavily into the stillness, she zips the compartment of her duffle bag closed. Shouldering her backpack, she hefts the duffle bag by the handles to carry it into the main room, not wanting to make too much noise rolling it in case Steve isn't up yet.
Curling up on the sofa, she turns on the TV, muting it again and mindlessly flipping through the channels.
A commercial featuring the image of the American flag reminds her that she should be happy she's a U.S. citizen now since Steve is claiming paternal responsibility for her. She is. She's just not jumping for joy happy. It happened in what's likely the messiest way anyone could imagine.
She supposes things could be a lot worse. She could've been deported when ICE picked her up. Or Buttface Taylor could've turned out to be her father. Although she's still wary of Steve's intentions, he seems sincere. And never in her wildest dreams did she think she'd end up living on the beach.
Her thoughts are interrupted by Steve emerging from his room. Comfortably dressed and with his travel bag hanging off his shoulder, he smiles at Aurie.
"Good morning."
"Morning."
"Do you have everything packed? And did you make sure you didn't leave anything behind?"
"Yes, to both," Aurie nods, turning off the TV.
"Okay, let's get going."
Rising to her feet, Aurie steps over to her bags. Shouldering her backpack again, she extends the telescopic handle and rolls the other bag behind her, following Steve out of the room. After stopping at the front desk to check out, they head outside to the truck and load their luggage in the rear passenger area before climbing in the front.
Minutes later they find a local diner down the street tucked into a small strip of shops. It's a nice little place and Steve appreciates the coffee is strong, just how he likes it. Both eat in comfortable silence. He had noticed Aurie looked tired and likely wasn't in the mood to chat, certain that all the upheaval of the past few days kept her up at night. He wonders if she'll be up for talking about their future as she promised but isn't worried if she falls asleep on the ride back. She seems to understand they must have this conversation sooner than later.
He's okay if they don't have it today. He'll wait for whenever she's ready because their relationship seems to be progressing in small steps in the right direction. After last night, he understands better why she reacted and acted the way she did to what he's been doing.
When he finally spoke with his dad last night, Mark was just as horrified to hear that Amalia's attitude and behavior were even worse than the physical abuse they assumed Aurie endured. Neither ever imagined she'd try to murder her daughter. Both no longer simply viewed Amalia as a flakey, shallow gold digger comically chasing after Spencer Davis, but as a significant danger to Aurie should she ever re-enter the teen's life. Now more determined, Steve intends to make damn sure Amalia stays the hell away from his daughter.
When they're finished eating, Steve and Aurie settle back in his truck, heading home.
Minutes stretch into an hour of silence on the highway. Steve mentally debates whether he should try initiating the conversation or continue waiting for Aurie to make the first move. The problem with the latter is he's already noticed that Aurie won't initiate anything if she doesn't have to. He also struggles with how to kick things off. He doesn't want to say anything that would put her on the defensive or make the conversation difficult.
Finally, a thought occurs to him. Something he remembers his dad told him that conflicts with what Aurie shared about her upbringing on Saturday night and he uses that to break the ice.
"If you're not up to having that conversation about the future and our expectations for each other yet, that's okay, but can you clarify something for me?"
Aurie looks over at him in confusion before answering.
"I'm still not sure what we need to talk about. I mean, the judge decided things. But I'm up for it either way," she shrugs. "So, what did you want clarified?"
"There's quite a bit we need to discuss," Steve smiles at her. "But I remembered Dad mentioning something you told him. That you had lived with your grandparents and your grandfather got Amalia deported before you were born. But Saturday night you told me that you were raised by nuns in an orphanage slash boarding school. It got me thinking. Did Amalia have any family and if they didn't raise you, why? And I'm curious why you lied to Dad about that."
Realization lights up her mismatched eyes as she sighs in resignation before answering.
"I lied because a simpler answer was better than trying to explain more than I wanted to," she shrugs. "I honestly don't know all the details, but I've been told things like Mom was disowned by her parents. Or she ran away and cut off all ties with them. Even when I found her later, she wouldn't tell me anything and I learned fast not to ask or get a painful reminder to never ask."
Steve outwardly remains calm except for tightening his grip on the steering wheel as she continues.
"From some of her angry rants, I think someone she knew snitched her out when they found out she was pregnant and called immigration because she was thinking of having an abortion. Someone told me that since Mexico is predominantly Catholic, landing back there meant it'd be tough for her to get one. So, I got lucky on that," she smirks over at Steve.
"Then she had to know she wasn't pregnant by Spencer Davis," he reasons.
"I guess, but she kept saying he was my father. But like I said before, she took off as soon as she recovered enough from birthing me, and I got put into an orphanage."
"I'm still trying to wrap my head around that," he shakes his head. "She basically left within a couple of days of giving birth. I thought she would've at least bonded with you a little bit as she breastfed you."
"She didn't," Aurie reluctantly begins. "She refused to breastfeed me, much less hold me when I was born. She didn't even name me. Then she snuck out of the clinic before sunrise the next morning."
Steve gapes at her in shock, prompting her to shrug.
"Not surprising considering everything."
Taking a deep, calming breath, Steve shakes his head in disbelief.
"I know I've said this already, but I really wish I knew about you earlier, so you didn't have to go through all of that. Now, if Amalia didn't name you and abandoned you in the hospital, who named you? The doctor?"
"No," Aurie shakes her head. Suspecting he'll bug her, she hesitantly explains. "It's complicated and a long ass story I don't want to get into right now. The short version is a man Mom knew stepped in and became my godfather and benefactor. I saw him occasionally and called him Dón Aurelio. I was named after him. And he paid the bill owed to the clinic then arranged for me to be raised by the nuns and paid for my schooling."
"He paid for your schooling?" Steve frowns in confusion. "He had money? If Amalia knew him, why didn't she try soaking him for money?"
"I'm not sure, but maybe because he's not a U.S. citizen and he's a mafioso." At his shocked gaze, she shrugs. "She desperately wanted to stay in the U.S. And as for the mafioso part, for the longest time, I only heard things. But he was always good to me. Treated me like a granddaughter on the rare occasion I saw him. He even once offered to adopt me, but made it clear the kind of life I'd be living and that for however long that was, I'd spend the rest of it looking over my shoulder."
"What?"
"He buried two children and three grandchildren and several other relatives to cartel violence. I'd be living in luxury but with a target on my back from their enemies." Angling her head slightly, she softly smiles at Steve's stunned expression. "I told you it was complicated."
"I didn't expect that," he shakes his head.
"Yeah," she agrees. "He went into enough detail for me to know I didn't want that life. Despite him being a mafioso, I still respect him for what he did for me. He didn't have to bother. Besides, being named Auralia is better than what the nuns would've named me." Scrunching up her face in disgust, she adds, "They would've named me Maria Jesus in honor of Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary like they did to three other girls they were raising. Two boys they named Jesus Maria."
"Probably," Steve chuckles. "If they kept going, they would've had to add numbers after your names to reduce confusion." Calming, he becomes serious again. "This Dón Aurelio sounds like a serious mafioso. Could this connection with him cause you problems later?"
Aurie thinks about it before answering.
"I don't think so. I believe he was still head of his cartel. And I didn't see him a lot. I think he did that on purpose to keep me out of that crap. He didn't confirm the rumors to me until he offered to adopt me. I wasn't a part of his family to be targeted and know nothing about the illegal side of his business and I haven't seen him since I left Mexico."
"Okay," Steve sighs. "Although I'm glad someone stepped in after Amalia abandoned you, it's still disturbing it was a mafioso of all people."
"It doesn't bother me," she admits. "It was probably better than not having anyone looking out for me like that at all. Even if he was still in my life, I don't feel like I can judge him. I don't know what he's done, I just know he cared enough to do a little bit for me when my mom completely rejected me."
Steve lets the silence stretch out again as he considers her words. Aurie patiently waits for his response, feeling he's not done with their conversation yet. The interstate widens into a freeway as they enter the Phoenix Metro area when he finally speaks again.
"As a cop, I know all too well the damage and harm drug cartels regularly inflict on their victims, so it's hard for me to accept the head of one could behave so altruistically without expecting something in return." Glancing over at Aurie, he adds, "They can be generous to their own, but I wonder why he did that for you. What was his connection to Amalia that he'd want to?"
"I'm not sure."
"You have no idea?" he prods, sensing she might know more than she's letting on.
"Maybe," she cagily answers. Looking over and seeing his expectant expression she sighs heavily. "Look, trying to explain it will probably mean I'll have to share more about how I grew up before I came here." Rolling her eyes, she adds, "You're gonna have a lot of questions and I'm not kidding about it being a long ass, complicated story I don't want to get into right now. This trip isn't long enough for me to tell all of it."
Steve blinks in surprise before glancing over again with a confused frown. He opens his mouth briefly before closing it again. After a few minutes, he speaks again.
"Even if you're just avoiding telling me, I'm going to wait until you're ready to share." Looking over to meet her surprised gaze, he adds, "I want to know all of it, no matter how bad it could be."
Uncertain about what to say, Aurie looks out the window at the surrounding traffic.
"So instead of getting bogged down on the past," Steve begins conversationally, drawing her attention to him again. "Let's focus on what needs to be done in the present so we can get what we want out of the future."
Looking over, he notes her uncertainty.
"I'll go first," he smiles reassuringly at her. "I expect we'll still have our arguments and problems we'll have to work through. I don't want you to be afraid to share your thoughts and feelings with Dad and me because you think it might be something we don't like or agree with. I want you to be yourself, but be respectful towards us, just like we'll respect you. I meant my promise to you last night. Neither Dad or I will ever abuse you." His lips quirk into a slight smile as he shrugs. "I'm going to make mistakes. So, I can't promise something like I'll never get angry or yell, but I can promise I'll never cruelly insult, demean, or degrade you. And I will do my best to listen before jumping to conclusions."
He pauses to focus on switching lanes since the one he's in turned into a transition lane for another freeway.
"Aurie, I want you in our lives," he continues. "I may not yet have the full story of your childhood so far, but I want to do everything I can to make it better than what you've had thanks to Amalia. I want you to focus on doing your best in school and just having a normal life." Glancing over again, he smirks at her. "I finally looked at your grades. I'd be delusional to expect straight A's." When Aurie tensely looks down at her clasped hands, he sighs. "I'm just teasing. I'm not criticizing you." Out of the corner of his eye, he sees her gazing at him again. "Even without knowing all the details, I understand there's gaps in your schooling." Meeting her gaze, he adds, "We'll help you get caught up. I'm just asking that you try to do your best and at least graduate high school."
The silence stretches out again as they pass through the downtown area.
"I will," she quietly agrees.
"Good," Steve nods encouragingly. "Don't think I want you to be something you're not. Even if you believe you're falling short of my expectations, which aren't unreasonable, I want you to be yourself." He gives her a moment to consider his words before adding, "Yesterday when I said Dad and I wanted to get to know you and take care of you, you responded with something along the lines of until you did something that changes our minds. You've said something like that before." He briefly looks over at her in emphasis. "Nothing you could do would make us reject you."
Frowning, Aurie hesitates before finally answering him.
"I get you're not thinking I'm exactly like Mom anymore, but what if I did something like she's done or worse? Like if I got into drugs or killed someone?"
"Would you?"
Aurie meets his gaze. She can tell he doesn't believe she would then slowly shakes her head.
"No. I don't want to be anything like Mom or some other people I've known. But what if I do something you and Mark can't accept? That I've crossed a line there's no coming back from?"
"You can't live your life on 'maybes,'" Steve sighs in frustration as the freeway turns back into a rural highway. "Murder is probably the worst you could ever do that'd be hard for Dad and me to accept, but we wouldn't abandon you and you would have to pay whatever the consequences might be."
Glancing over, he sees the surprise and confusion written on her face. He gives her a few minutes to think about it before speaking again.
"I hope you never do that or get into drugs or do any of the garbage Amalia has pulled. But things happen and most of it we can help you with if you're willing to work through it. And as for anything that can't be easily worked through, we'll figure it out together."
When he looks over again, Aurie can see the sincerity in his eyes.
"I want you to come to me about anything, no matter how difficult," he continues. "I might get upset, maybe even angry, but I'll do my best to keep it to a minimum and I will keep my promise to hear you out. And if you still feel like you can't come to me, there's Dad, Ellen, Amanda, and Jesse." Glancing over again, he smirks. "You don't realize it yet, but you've got a lot of support whether you like it or not."
"Okay," Aurie acquiesces with a slight smile.
"Thanks to Amalia," he continues more seriously. "I understand that's going to be harder in practice for you to accept or expect. I just want you to know we're all here for you. You don't have to go it alone anymore."
The silence stretches out again for several minutes. Neither bothered turning on the radio when they left Tucson, so they only had the wind and hum of the highway to fill the void.
"I don't understand why you want me," she quietly begins. "Yeah, you've said it's because we're family, but Mom proved blood means nothing. And there've been people who killed their own parents, siblings, and even children. And I wasn't conceived during a one-night stand. Now we know Mom drugged you. So, you don't even remember it and wasn't a willing participant." She pauses to take a deep breath. "It doesn't make sense when you could've walked away. I would've been okay with that." Reluctantly she looks over and meets his gaze. "I wouldn't have held it against you."
"But it would've hurt to be rejected like that again."
She gapes at him in surprise before looking away in discomfort. When she doesn't say anything, he sighs again softly.
"I don't know how to make you understand, so I guess that's going to be something that comes in time," he continues. "Regardless of how I got Amalia pregnant, that I didn't know about you, or whether I ever wanted to have children or not, none of it matters. You exist and I know about you now. When Dad showed me our test results, I accepted you as my daughter. Remember, I told you before we knew the truth that if you were mine, I'd want to get to know you. And I knew immediately I wanted you in my life. Walking away might've made sense to you, but not to me, and was never something I'd consider for a second."
He gives her a few moments to think about what he's saying before continuing.
"I guess what you need to realize about me is that's how I am. I am nothing like Amalia. I can't even think of her as your mother because she's nothing like any mother I've personally known. Your grandmother wasn't like her at all. And you're right, some people have murdered family members. I've arrested my share of them. However, they are the exception." Looking over at Aurie again, he adds, "Time will reaffirm what I think you've already seen and experienced with us so far, that we're your family. We're going to give you what you should've had all along, love and security."
Giving her time to think about his words, Steve mentally goes over what he's got to get accomplished over the next few days before he can return to work. Although he arranged for a couple of urgent cases to be taken over by other detectives, he still has less urgent ones that he may need to check on.
Then there are all the things he still has to settle regarding Aurie. He's got to contact the benefits office and add her to his insurance and other work-related benefits policies. He'll have to get with his dad and get Aurie medically established regarding her vaccinations and other possible health needs. Then there's figuring out her schooling and what she'll need to get on par for her age. Her spotty schooling over the past four years is going to be difficult to overcome.
Starting to feel overwhelmed again, Steve decides to leave those thoughts alone for now. Glancing over at Aurie, he's about to ask about her expectations when he notices flashing lights behind him.
His heavy sigh as he pulls to the side of the road causes Aurie to look over at him in confusion. While he parks the truck, she glances out the back.
"I wonder why they're pulling you over," she comments as she looks at him again. "You weren't speeding."
"We'll find out," Steve replies, lowering the window and cutting the engine.
Their respective irritation and confusion turn into pleased amusement as a familiar face appears at the driver's side window.
"Nice to see you again, Trooper Davidson," Steve nods, holding out his hand in greeting.
"I thought I recognized your truck," Davidson smiles back as he shakes Steve's hand. "I only pulled you over to make sure instead of running your plates, especially since this isn't a traffic stop. Nice to see you two again," he adds, nodding at Aurie who smiles and waves back. "I take it you're heading home to California?" he asks Steve.
"Yeah," he nods back. "We took care of everything we needed to here. We made sure to leave early enough this morning to avoid rush hour in LA."
"I don't blame you," Davidson smirks. "I won't keep you long. I just wanted to say 'hi' and wish you a safe trip back."
"Appreciate that. Before we go, do you have any updates on the Lovatos? The local news reports in Tucson said baby Dennis got picked up by his grandparents and both of his parents were in the hospital recovering."
"His maternal grandparents took him home with them to Tempe," Davidson explains. "Mrs. Lovato got released to their care two days later. Her husband they kept in the hospital a bit longer but should be out sometime this week."
"That's good to hear," Steve smiles before extending his hand again. "Thanks for updating us on their condition."
"Sure thing," Trooper Davidson smiles back, shaking his hand. "And thank you both again for everything. Try not to dive into any more burning wrecks, young lady," he teases Aurie.
The three laugh before calming enough for Aurie to quip back.
"Unless it involves toasting marshmallows, I don't plan on it."
"That's good," Davidson laughs again with them. "Take care."
Steve and Aurie wave as he returns to his unit. Soon Steve is pulling back onto the road. It's not much longer until they approach the border between Arizona and California.
"Are you getting hungry?"
Aurie considers his question before shaking her head.
"No."
"Me neither. I think I'll feel hungry when we get to Palm Springs, which is about another two hours, putting us there about two. I'm going to do a pit stop here in Blythe and we can get something to drink and snacks. That should hold us until Palm Springs."
"Yeah, I would like to use a bathroom and get something."
Nodding, Steve crosses the bridge over the Colorado River into California. Within a few minutes, he exits the highway and pulls into a gas station. Not needing to gas up, he parks on the side of the building. Both visit the restroom before taking their time browsing the aisles and selecting their snacks and drinks. After Steve pays, both settle in the truck and return to the highway.
A half-hour later, Steve glances over at Aurie when he notices she's finishing her bag of potato chips, feeling it's time to continue their conversation.
"Your turn."
Not sure what he said, Aurie blinks then looks over at Steve. He smirks at her confused expression.
"I think I've covered all my expectations for us from here on out. Anything I missed we can deal with as it comes up. Now it's your turn. What are your expectations? Especially of me and Dad." Glancing over, he notes her looking hesitant and uncertain. "Or maybe what I should keep in mind. I get you sometimes need some alone time on the beach or in the closet." When she still doesn't respond to his joke, he prods, "Basically anything else I shouldn't misinterpret."
"I don't know."
It's Steve's turn to look over in confusion at her quiet answer. Aurie takes a deep breath before continuing.
"So much has changed so fast. And I honestly don't have any good references to understand what makes a good family. Little bits and pieces I got from watching others, like Chuy's family. But his family could be controlling and smothering. Almost oppressive sometimes."
Aurie pauses, thinking about how to explain it.
"When I showed up at Mom's door, I did expect her to act like my classmate's mothers or ones I've seen on TV. I thought she'd welcome me, hug me, and say she missed me." Her voice drops as she adds, "And say she loved me. Instead, I learned what Hell was like."
As the silence stretches out again, Steve resists the urge to break it, sensing she will say more, which she does.
"After I escaped Mom, I wasn't going to look for my father. Even when it turned out to be an easier solution to my illegal status, I still wanted to avoid searching for you. But Agent Coronado told me that even if I lived well, got good grades, and avoided getting into trouble, maybe even marrying a U.S. citizen later, it wouldn't guarantee I'd get to stay. Laws could change and make it impossible. Being a minor complicated things even more. And I knew I couldn't keep hiding forever. It was hard enough pretending to be older than I am and when I ended up in Tucson and enrolled in school, I realized it'd eventually be impossible to keep pretending to be from here. Not without proper documents. So, I had to try finding my father."
Aurie pauses to look out the window at the passing scenery before continuing.
"I didn't expect to find you. But if I did, I expected our lives to continue separately. I didn't expect things to change so much and now," she trails off, taking a deep breath. "I don't know what to expect. I could fool myself into thinking everything will be fine, but whenever my life settles down, something happens, and I have to start all over again. So, I guess that's an expectation. Wait for the shit to hit the fan again and rebuild everything from scratch all over again."
Trailing off, her gaze drifts back out to the passing desert scrub. As they continue in silence, she wonders what's going on in Steve's head and if she's said too much.
"As a cop, I've been seriously injured on the job more than once," Steve finally states, looking over to meet her startled gaze. "They've even had to resuscitate me when my heart stopped. And as much as I hate to think about it, Dad won't live forever. I'm not just talking about him passing from old age. I don't think you're aware of this yet, but despite not being a cop, he is very good at solving complicated murders. And that put him in danger more often than I care to think about." He pauses to sigh heavily. "So, I can't promise nothing will ever happen that can upend your life again, especially if one or both of us die. All any of us can do is keep living for the future, planning for what we can, and enjoying the time we've got. Things could change drastically or not at all. Either way, you can't waste your thoughts and energy on what you can't control."
Continuing to focus on the road, Steve gives Aurie a chance to absorb his words.
"Are you sure you don't have another kid tucked away somewhere else in your life?" When he frowns at her, she smirks back. "You're too good at giving advice not to have previous practice parenting."
"I was lucky to have great parents," he grins. Becoming serious again, he adds, "I hope I'm not adding to your stress by telling you about the risks of my job and Dad's involvement in murder investigations, but we can't hide the truth from you even if we wanted to."
Aurie considers it before replying.
"It helps to know. It's a lot harder not knowing and guessing what I should know or how I should act. I always felt like I was living in a minefield around Mom. I never knew what would set her off. Sometimes it seemed like my presence was enough. You're giving me a better idea of what to expect with you."
"Good," he smiles at her. "And I can promise there aren't any minefields in Malibu. But regardless of it being a court order forcing you to live with us, it seems like you're at least willing to try."
He watches her think before she finally responds.
"Yeah," she nods.
Silence settles on them again, but it's comfortable. Aurie finally breaks it when they're less than an hour from Palm Springs.
"What was your mom like?
Slightly startled, Steve glances over. Seeing the hesitant curiosity in her eyes, he smiles. He's more than happy to start telling her about his mom. He begins by sharing Katherine's background as a popular lounge singer in L.A. when Mark met her through his friend Harry Trumbull. Aurie's curiosity gets the better of her and she asks specific questions about what the lounges were like and why people went to listen to singers there. Steve encourages her to ask Mark since that style of entertainment wasn't popular when he got old enough. By the time they stop for lunch and gas in Palm Springs, he's sharing memories and stories about his mom. When he gets to Katherine's cancer diagnosis and eventual death, he realizes he's comfortable discussing it with Aurie. Understandably, she has many questions and is eager to know everything about her late grandmother.
After they return to the road an hour later, a comfortable silence settles between them until the grassy hills transition to the urban sprawl of the Inland Empire.
"You didn't seem upset or uncomfortable talking about your mom," Aurie observes, drawing a confused look from Steve.
"Why would I?" Steve asks, nonplussed. "I miss her a lot, but I enjoyed telling you about her. And I've got plenty more stories to share."
He frowns as Aurie takes a deep breath.
"When we were at the zoo, I asked Mark if you were an only child. And he told me a little bit about your sister Carol, but he seemed really upset even though he said it was okay to ask him about anything." Meeting Steve's gaze, she adds, "There was a big difference when you were talking about your mom and Mark talking about Carol. And he didn't say much, but I didn't ask any questions about her either because of how sad it made him."
"Even though it hurts, talking about the ones we've lost is how we keep their memories alive." Steve sighs heavily. "And it's nice reliving the good times we had with them. So, as hard as it is for Dad to talk about Carol, I know he'll want to share his memories of her with you." He pauses briefly to collect his thoughts. "Carol is difficult to discuss because our relationship with her was complicated and then there's how she died." Looking over at Aurie, he shocks her when he adds, "She was murdered."
He gives Aurie and himself a few moments before continuing.
"A couple years after your grandmother died, Carol disappeared on us. She left for a weekend trip and never came home. We eventually found out she eloped with a man we didn't like for her, but she never called to let us know how she was doing, never wrote or anything. And we tried reaching out to her, but she never accepted our attempts, so we finally stopped trying." He pauses to take a deep breath. "She finally reappeared about a couple years ago. She had left her husband Bruce who had gotten involved in illegal waste dumping and then had the genius idea to try blackmailing the ringleaders who then murdered him."
"You didn't like him, did you?" Aurie asks, noticing the distinct bite in his voice while talking about Bruce.
"That obvious?" he smirks.
"Yeah."
"Well, I tried giving Bruce a chance, but he was a real jerk," he shrugs. "Had a superiority complex. Like he was God's gift to the world, and we should feel blessed and grateful to know him. Also acted like Carol should feel lucky he chose to be her husband." He pauses to take a calming breath. "Carol stayed with him for over eight years and didn't leave him until he started hitting her. That was about the time he got involved with the illegal waste dumping, which probably stressed him out then he took it out on her."
"It's good she didn't tolerate him hitting her," Aurie thoughtfully observes. "But I don't understand why she dropped out of your lives like that. Not after she'd already married. Her choices were made and couldn't be changed by anyone else."
"True," he agrees. "When she came back, she and I eventually talked. She said living with Bruce was easy because she didn't have to be more than what she was like she felt she had to be with us and living with us made her feel like she had two dads." Reluctantly he admits, "I guess I was overprotective, and she felt smothered."
"It kinda makes sense, but it still didn't mean she had to disappear and cut you guys off." Meeting Steve's gaze, she arches a brow. "She could've told you off. That it's her life and as a grown-ass woman she could do whatever the fuck she wanted and tough shit if you don't like it. Then it would've been on you to continue contact. It's your basic put up or fuck off situation."
Steve blinks at her before smirking.
"Dad is going to have an uphill battle trying to get you to stop swearing so much."
"I'll keep my promise to him to try not swearing, but I can't help it if it fits," she shrugs again. Another thought occurs to her, and she hesitantly asks, "Does it bother you that I swear? I do it without thinking."
He's almost tempted to torture her about it but thinks better of it.
"It doesn't bother me like it does Dad," he smiles at her visibly relaxing. "I agree with him, and you should work on when and where it's appropriate, but that's his war to fight with you. Anyway, Carol never told us how she felt before she left or while she was married. She just ran away."
"Doesn't seem she was good at confrontations and standing up for herself."
Steve thinks about it for a few minutes.
"No, she wasn't. She seemed to just want to live in the moment and enjoy life regardless of how irresponsible she was being. I think that's why she tended to run away from her problems, never dealing with them. I guess it was easier for her to just avoid them."
"Did you and your parents tend to fix things for her?" At his surprised and confused expression, she shrugs. "You're saying she avoided her problems by running from them. It sounds like she didn't know how to handle things by herself. Then she ran off and got married. She didn't even go live on her own. She married a man who probably insisted things had to be his way. He probably made all the decisions, and she was okay with whatever he wanted for the longest time. I dunno," she shakes her head. "It seems like she thought she found some sort of freedom with Bruce, but not the kind from doing things on her own." She pauses briefly in thought. "And I wonder if she avoided you guys all those years because she didn't want to face your disappointment. She did something no one could fix whether she wanted you to or not."
Looking over at Steve when he doesn't immediately respond, she blinks and self-consciously shifts under his inscrutable gaze.
"What were those nuns teaching you?"
"Huh?"
"Were they teaching you psychology? Because I didn't see any courses in your high school transcripts. Or did you have a lot of discussions with Luz and pick up a few things? Because that was a very insightful observation of Carol and I barely told you anything."
"Uh, the answer is 'no' to pretty much everything. I talked to Luz about school and stuff, but I tried avoiding anything else because I didn't want to slip and tell her something she'd have to report that'd screw everything up." She shrugs again at his incredulous expression. "When I was with Mom, I watched a lot of talk shows. Not just the trash ones but ones where they'd try fixing whatever screwed up family they had on."
"Most talk shows are on in the daytime when you would be at school. And you were nine, why would you be watching them?"
"Most of the time I wasn't at school," she sighs heavily. Meeting his gaze, she adds, "Life was all kinds of fucked up. Anyways, there wasn't much else on. I didn't like American soaps because it was hard figuring out what was going on. Since they've been on forever, there's no beginning or end and to start watching them means starting from the middle of a story."
"Talk shows still aren't programs kids typically watch," Steve reasons. "And if you didn't know English, how could you understand them?"
"I did know English," she shocks him. "The nuns insisted the orphans especially learn English. They felt it would help us get good jobs as translators or something that skill could be useful for since we were so close to el Distrito Federal."
"Distrito Federal?"
"Here everyone refers to it as Mexico City. In Mexico, the official name is Distrito Federal or D.F."
"I didn't know that. And even though you told me differently a few days ago, which I now understand why, that's good you already knew English before you got here. But I still don't understand why you were watching talk shows."
"No one knew I already knew English," Aurie admits, surprising him again. "I kept it hidden because Mom revealed her true colors right away and that would've been something else for her to hate me for since her English wasn't very good."
"True," Steve agrees. "She'd confuse her phrasing and context sometimes, so it was hard to understand what she meant, and got mocked for it. Often right to her face."
"Yeah, it irritated the hell out of her. And I pretended not to know because people will talk more freely around you if they think you don't understand. Mom thought I was watching talk shows to learn English even though she said I was too stupid to learn anything from them. So, while I improved my pronunciation to blend in better, I was also watching them to try to figure her out." She sighs when Steve looks over at her again. "Like once they had the daughter of an old movie star who wrote a book about how abusive the star was to her growing up and they had made a movie about it."
"That must've been Christina Crawford, Joan Crawford's adopted daughter," he nods.
"Yeah, I think that was her name. Anyway, I watched those shows specifically to try figuring Mom out. If I understood her, maybe I wouldn't do something that'd enrage her, and she'd start liking me," she reluctantly admits.
"Going off what you shared so far, nothing you could ever do or say would change her mind about you.
"Yeah," Aurie agrees with a soft, sad smile. "That was the only thing I figured out. She hated me too much. So, eventually, I gave up."
The silence stretches out again as Steve navigates the freeway through Los Angeles until he breaks it again.
"Sometimes the best decisions we have to make for ourselves are the most difficult." Glancing over at her, he adds, "You understood Amalia enough to accept she wasn't worth the effort or anguish and that you needed to focus on your happiness and mental well-being. As hard as it must've been to give up on her, it was the best decision you could make. Even if she hadn't tried killing you, you probably would've destroyed yourself trying to win her love and acceptance."
Steve focuses on the freeway ending and transitioning onto Pacific Coast Highway, giving Aurie a few minutes to absorb his words.
"You picked up a lot from watching those talk shows than most adults," he finally continues, drawing her attention to him again. "Being so observant helps too. It may not have changed Amalia the way you wanted it to, but it helped you understand a little bit why she won't change. I only told you the basics, but you grasped why things were complicated between Carol and us. You're right," he shrugs. "We did tend to fix her problems for her. I remember stepping in and dealing with kids who teased her over things like her being taller than all the boys in our neighborhood." He pauses to sigh heavily. "I got involved in a lot of situations she was upset about instead of letting her figure it out."
"Did it bother her if you solved her problems for her?"
Steve considers it before shaking his head.
"I don't think so, but if it did, she never said anything. That probably ties into what you're saying about her not facing our disappointment."
"Were you?"
"Yeah," he reluctantly admits. "I was upset and disappointed that she just ran off without saying goodbye or letting us know she was okay. Like Dad, I was worried about her and thought the worst at first. That maybe she was in danger and couldn't tell us. Then I was angry when we found her, and she wouldn't talk to us and at least tell us why she ran away." He pauses to take a deep breath. "That hurt the most. She forgot how much we loved her, and we would've given her the space she needed if she just let us know."
"Did she remember and understand when she came back?"
"Yeah," he nods after considering the question. "She told Dad that she came back to find out that she could. Then she left again after we figured out who murdered Bruce and why."
"Did she keep in touch at least?"
"With Dad, but he felt like they were more acquaintances and didn't have much in common anymore. She didn't talk much with me. I kept trying, but most of the time she wouldn't answer my calls and never called me back. On the rare occasions she did answer, it felt like I couldn't ask her any questions about anything she decided to share. No matter how carefully I'd ask she'd get defensive. It got to the point our conversations were very short until I stopped calling her and since she never called me, that meant we didn't talk at all."
Giving himself a few moments to collect his thoughts, Steve continues driving along the coastline towards home.
"Last year Dad convinced her to come from Las Vegas for my birthday party at BBQ Bob's. It was supposed to be a surprise, but he kept watching the door and I figured out what he was up to. He was waiting for Carol, but I was sure she flaked out and was going to be a no-show, disappointing him again."
"Had she broken a lot of promises?"
"Yeah," Steve nods. "I hated when she did that because it was hard seeing her hurt Dad like that. But this time was different. Dad had received a call from her during the party, but the cell phone signal was bad, and he couldn't make out what she was saying. It was enough to convince him that something was wrong."
"But not you?"
"Not at first," he reluctantly admits. "I was sure Carol was just being Carol. One thing you'll see about Dad is it won't matter if everyone else believes something to be true, if his instincts tell him differently, he will find a way to prove everyone wrong. He figured out her last known location in a small town called Los Rios and started poking around. I joined him and we eventually uncovered a conspiracy among her killers and their associates throughout the town. Unknown to us, Carol had remarried a man named Antoine Fahd and they were traveling from Las Vegas to attend my party when they had car trouble. Unfortunately, they encountered some people who hated Antoine for being of Middle Eastern descent. They beat him to death and then killed Carol to cover it up."
"I'm so sorry that happened to them," Aurie quietly states. Meeting Steve's gaze, she adds, "I hope those bigoted assholes are rotting in jail at least."
Steve twitches slightly in amusement at her language.
"Everyone directly involved has been convicted and given life sentences. However, the main instigator, Matthew Campbell, is trying to appeal his conviction. He can try, but Dad and I will attend every hearing to prevent that. And any parole hearings in the future."
"It sounds like Carol finally had her life at a good place and it's terrible she and her husband were murdered."
"She did," he agrees. "We met Antoine's sister, Yvette, and saw the video of the wedding ceremony. From what we saw and what Yvette shared, Carol was very happy. I wish she had the chance to tell us about it."
"It would've been nice to have met her," Aurie breaks the silence a few minutes later. "Despite everything that's happened, she sounds like an interesting person."
Looking over at Aurie, Steve smiles.
"I think you two would've gotten along great."
Aurie smiles back as they continue driving to the beach house in the mid-afternoon traffic.
A/N: The 'Don' in 'Don Aurelio' is basically an honorific, not short for the name 'Donald.' For women it'd be 'doña'. Think 'Don Corelone' from 'The Godfather' books and movies.