My throat tightened as I stood there, Leon opposite of me.

Our hands met together in the middle, white scarves binding them together, his hand just as rough as the previous one I had held during my last engagement ceremony.

Tata's face beamed with pride, and I couldn't help but smile a little too at that. Father Dembinski was talking with Tata, then with Leon, trying to settle the wedding date. Mrs. Szarkowa, meanwhile, was bustling around, getting the rye bread ready for Leon and I to cut. People had begun to gather onto the porch, to give individual blessings and toasts.

"A short engagement, or a long one, which would you prefer?" Father Dembinski asked, staring at Leon.

Leon made a thoughtful face and turned to me.

"What do you say, Anetka?"

I felt my eyebrows go up in shock, and then my face flush in embarrassment, with everyone's eyes now on me. No one had asked me anything last time. In fact, everything was settled without as much as a glance towards me. But now, Father Dembinski looked at me, a queer expression on his face, waiting for my answer. Tata's face looked a bit astonished, dare I say, the fact being that he never even considered me suitable for such a conversation. But Leon did. I saw that his eyes were serious then, and his face was warm and expectant. He wanted my opinion, and a genuine one.

So…what did I want?

"I will wait three weeks, enough for the bans to be read, like last time," I said, making sure my voice was steady.

Father Dembinski, nodding in approval, said "Good! November 11th. Now everything is settled. A good match you two will be!"

And with that, the people on the porch began to call out "is it talked over yet?"

So Leon and I began to cut the bread, had began to pass it out to the visitors. We both were at the table, and while everyone was preoccupied with eating and chatting, he acted on the opportunity to speak to me.

"Three-week engagement, rather short. Are you in such a hurry to marry me, Anetka?" He said while grinning.

"Why, do you find that shocking?" I retorted. I was in no mood to be bothered by him today.

"Well," he started, taking the knife up again, cutting another slice, "If I recall correctly, you didn't even bother inviting me to your last wedding, I had to do the honor myself."

The honor! My face still blushed at his boldness that night, when he kissed my hand in front of everyone, including my new husband!

"Leon! You should be ashamed of yourself, of what you did that night! Why, I think you enjoyed it, creating such a mess!" I said while giggling.

I couldn't stay serious for long, not when he looked at me like that, especially now, when he leaned in so close that I thought he would kiss me right in front of everyone. Instead, a whisper went in my ear, "Well that makes two of us, because I know you enjoyed it just as much as I did."

Och, on jest niemożliwy! Oh, he is impossible!

"You best stop now, before everyone hears you!" I hissed.

"Oh alright, but only because it will make you happy," He cooed, as if he were practically a saint.

I sighed, making a show of shaking my head disappointedly, and walked off from him, slices in hand.

I walked up to the girls, who were quietly playing off near the stove. They were whispering to their little dolls, putting their ears to their little doll mouths to hear their secrets. It made me yearn for the days of when I were young.

"Here, girls," I said.

I had handed one each to Rose and Lily, but when I went to give Violet one, I noticed she was gone.

"Where is your sister, girls?" I had asked. But their little faces looked up at me blankly, and each responded under the lines of I don't know Mama , before continuing to play. Where had she run off to this time?

I shook my head, turning to see my brother sitting on the steps to the loft, looking off at the crowd outside. I decided to go bother him, and had begun by making him wiggle over and sitting beside him, handing him a slice of bread.

"So, what do you think?" I said. I found it necessary then, to ask him how he was.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I'm talking about Leon and me."

He shrugged, and simply said, "I like Leon a lot better than Stanley." And with that, he took a bite of the crust.

I choked down a laugh, and made a big show of acting offended.

"Jozef! Shame on you!" A poke to the side accompanying the reprimand.

He dismissed my notions with a side glance, but I saw him smiling. Feeling encouraged, I continued on.

"You should go to night school," I said while peeping over at him, trying to see his reaction, and when I didn't get any, I added, "Mamusia would want it."

And with that, he turned to stare at me, rather harsh.

"Oh, leave me alone!" He snapped, standing up and storming off.

I watched as he walked out the back door, feeling childish then, for pestering him so, but I simply couldn't help it. I didn't like the fact that my brother was so troubled now. I sighed, feeling worse off than before.

Suddenly, I heard someone say, "Are you alright?"

I looked up to see Leon at the landing of the stairs. I quickly wiped off my sour mood and said, "Yes, I'm alright, let's go out to see everyone."

So I stood and joined him outside on the porch, his hand in mine as we thanked people. I had found myself searching for Lidia's face, that is before I remembered the fact that she was still in confinement. Although this engagement was different than the last, at least in the way of feelings between us, there were still some parts that left me aching, that left me melancholic and moody. I still missed my mother as much as last time, and now I didn't even have Lidia! I found myself so upset that I was swallowing a big lump in my throat. I couldn't dwell on it, not now, not while everyone was watching. I glanced around, looking for Violet. Even she wasn't around! I tried to think hard of where she could be, and hardly paid mind to the visitors. Leon glanced over at me, and seeing my face, squeezed my hand.

"It is probably hard on her." He whispered.

Yes. It most certainly was on me. Who could blame her?

~~

I had found myself a wanderer as I traversed over Lattimer in search of Violet. Where on earth could she be, she being only seven! There weren't many places she could find herself. I had gone door to door in search of her, but each stop was met with disappointment as each reply to my Have you seen her around? was met with a shake of the head.

It was starting to get a bit dangerous, me being a woman, wandering about looking for something; sighing loudly and trudging on, thinking all the while oh why did she have to be so difficult! This morning she had been as sweet as an angel, but now…well something must have set her off! Was it her seeing me with Leon? Oh, I just had to find her!

And so on and on this went, until I eventually did seek her out. It was dark now, and only a sliver of light guided my way. I had thought to go to the colliery –this I did knowing she liked the mules there–, a last dash of hope so to speak, and thank the blessed saints she was there! There she stood, petting the nose of a mule, leaning in to whisper something to it.

"Violet!" I called out.

My chest was heavy with fear; fear for her, fear for myself. Turning around to answer my call, I saw then how pale her face was, making her look like a ghost in the dusk, her dark hair accentuating it. I had saw by her face, splotchy and red; the eyes puffy, that she had been crying.

All my anger dissipated, and left in its wake was worry. I walked on up to her slowly, as if she were a skittish horse, my hands up to ease her worries; had reached her, pulling into me, hugging her. Her little body clung to me, and she wept bitterly.

"Oh, Mama! Oh, Mama!" She cried, over and over. I petted her hair and smoothed back the flyaways, looking into her dark eyes.

"It is because of Leon?" I offered cautiously. I didn't want to set her off anymore than she already was.

Her lip quivered as she spoke, "Mama, I like Leon, but…but I-I want my Papa back, and my Mama."

My heart hurt for her then hearing her talk so. I tried to bring her to me again, but she stiffened and shrugged me off.

"I don't mean to be mean Mama, honest!"

"I know, love, I know," I said softly. I stroked the side of her face, trying to make her know that I was telling the truth.

"I didn't mean to scare you, but the mules, they are so sweet," She whispered, turning back around to pet its nose, then continuing in a whisper that was barely detectable, "It isn't fair, why did they have to die?"

I sighed deeply. What on earth could I say? God wanted another angel. It was God's plan. None of it seemed right!

"I do not know, Violet," I said simply.

She stopped stroking the mule's nose, turned to me, saying, "I only came here to make myself feel better, but…I couldn't come back home. I'm sorry," Her eyes were downcast, as if she thought I didn't believe her.

"Of course, I know you are. But now we both must go home," There was hardly any light outside now. We could finish this conversation at the house.

Her eyes went wide, and she tugged back, saying, "What if Leon's mad at me for running away?"

"He isn't," I soothed.

"Honest?"

I smiled at her, and took her hand in mine.

"Honest."

And so we both made our way out of the mule stable, starting along the dirt path home.