Rowan's POV
As my plane landed in New Jersey after my summer away in LA, I closed my book and stood up nervously. I was excited to see my parents and everyone else. I had such a life changing summer but I missed my family. Jamie had such a great time he was staying for the rest of the summer which was only 2 weeks. Apart of me wanted to stay with him. I had barely talked to anyone this whole time. My first week I sent a lot of texts back and fourth to Lucas and Sabrina and called home twice a day but then I settled in and made friends fast. It was hard to keep up and returning called. Lucas and I played phone tag and kept missing each other so it was easier just to text.
I walked off the plane into the airport and there stood my parents. My dad had the most excited grin on his face and my mom was jumping up and down.
"It's so good to see you!" My mom hugged me tightly.
My dad smiled, proudly. "We missed you so much honey."
"I missed my girl." My mom said.
"I love you." My dad piled onto the hug and it felt so comforting.
"I missed you guys." I pulled away.
We got our reunion out of the way and went on to find my luggage. It took us about 3 hours to get home after leaving the airport. We had gone out to dinner and spent time just the 3 of us. It was much needed especially since I couldn't figure out when the last time we all spent time together without my brother or someone else joining us.
"So I was thinking we have a barbecue tomorrow to welcome you home." My dad said as we walked into the house carrying all of my stuff.
"I don't want to make a big deal out of it. I've only been gone for the summer it's not like it's been a year or anything." I shook my head and closed the door behind all of us when we got the last of the bags in.
"We want to celebrate you coming home. You've had one hell of a year and we are so proud of your strength." My mom smiled as she walked into my room and planted herself on the bed while we carried all of my stuff inside to unpack.
"I don't think it's a good idea." I unzipped my suitcase and started getting my clothes out.
"Why? Don't you want to see all your friends and family?" He looked at me confused.
"I do but not for this. This is something I really don't want to make a big deal out of and I would really love if you could respect that." I stood my ground and kept a polite smile on my face. My time in group taught me a lot about taking care of myself and this is what I want and need to do.
"Of course honey. We we'll do what you want but we already invited grandma and grandpa. They make plans to come here. Josh was driving up and Shawn knows so that means Sabrina knows. I can cancel it and maybe we just go to dinner with them instead?" My mom said, looking at my dad for his thoughts on this.
"Yeah that's fine but can we just do grandma and grandpa? Josh shouldn't have to be bothered to drive up here. Let's just keep everything lowkey as possible. Please?" I pulled up my hair and started putting my clothes away.
"I guess that should be fine." She said with uncertainty. "Cory?"
"Yeah if that's really what you want." He didn't really know what to say.
"Thanks!" I smiled at them.
We finished unpacking my stuff and then had ice cream. We watched a movie. It was weird being back but things being so quiet too. I missed having the boys around. I loved the alone time with my parents too. I missed them a lot. I went back to my room and laid in my bed. I scrolled on my phone for a bit. There was one missed call from Sabrina. I didn't see anything from Lucas. I gave her a call back.
"Hello?" Sabrina answered the phone groggily.
"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you up. I was just returning your call from an hour ago."
"Shut up." She laughed. "It's not that late is it?"
"About midnight."
"What are you up too?"
"I just finished unpacking. I didn't notice the time when I called."
"You're home?" She shrieked.
"Yeah." I laughed softly and it turned into a yawn.
"I didn't know you were coming home! Why didn't you tell me? I would've come to the airport!" Sabrina said in disbelief but not that serious. "I missed you."
"I missed you too. I don't know I felt like having a bunch of people there was kinda overkill honestly. My parents wanted to have a party but I wasn't okay with it." I paused. "Is that mean to say?"
"No I don't think so. It's surprising but I mean it depends what do you mean by overkill?"
"I guess I find it a little silly."
"Having people miss you and wanting to celebrate seeing you?" She questioned.
"They used a lot of words about being proud of me and stuff. It made me feel so ick." I tried to explain.
"We are proud of you Rowan." She said.
"I know." I was over hearing this.
"What did Lucas say?" Sabrina asked me.
"I haven't talked to him in a couple of days."
"Really? Are things okay with him?" She wondered.
"Yeah we've just been giving each other a lot of space. When I get to talk to him it's chill."
"Uh okay well I think you should call him. I spent a bunch of the summer busy so I haven't even seen him once. He should know that your back. I don't want to upset you or anything is everything okay with you?" She sounded concerned.
"Sabrina I'm good. I had a great summer and now I'm home."
"Can I come over tomorrow?" She asked me.
"Yeah of course. We have dinner with the family but I'll be free in the morning."
"I'll see you then." She hung up.
I thought about what Sabrina said so I went and texted Lucas that I was home. It was short and brief which is how our relationship has become. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. There isn't anyway you can determinate how a long distanced relationship is going until you are back in the same town. I love him still and I'm open minded to whatever will happen. I feel like I know my future will be fulfilled with or without him.
I got up and into the shower. It was late but I couldn't sleep with the smell of plane on me. I cut my shower short and just washed my body with the vanilla chai body wash I've missed in LA. I got out and walked back into my room. I looked over at the mirror. I pulled my towel down and stared at my body.
I had scars but my body was so beautiful. I admired my own skin.
The most important thing you can do for yourself is to love your body, your mind and the person you've become.
I spent so much time feeling lost and broken but I'm here. I'm breathing, healthy and happy and I have such a life to live.
I have the strength to forgive myself. I have learned to love my body despite the judgement and despite the scars. I've fallen in love with my mind. I trust the person I am is someone that will be a powerful force for women to achieve these goals. I feel like I've gained so much progress and I'm so solid but I still feel like I can learn even more. I can do anything if I believe in myself and I do.
Author's Note:
Hi Merry Christmas
