CHAPTER 53

I AM EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE

"I promise you'll regret it if you dare get me out of bed before the clock ticks another hour or so!" Bryan muttered unhappily, hearing Angie get up at 5:30 am on Sunday.

"Oh, no. It's fine. Don't worry. Get some good sleep." She said sweetly.

"I'm just going to be very quiet in here, you know, trying to make sure at least I make a banging good impression during our team presentation today." She then added cheerfully, but passive aggressive was in there, too.

Bryan tried to close his eyes, but eventually gave up and stuck one foot out of the bed.

"Damn, I'm letting a cheerleader guilt-trick me into getting up early! Ugh! Who the Hell have I become?" He muttered to himself on the way to the bathroom.

When they both got ready for PFT, they had some spare time to go over the presentation that they had come up with the previous evening. Bryan noticed some changes, so clearly Angie had stayed up late, in order to finalize the presentation and to give it a nice touch of style. And color.

"Since when are our headers pink?" He cringed.

"Since you willingly partnered up with me, big boy." She smirked and saved the presentation to a USB key, placing it in her bag for later use that day.

PFT was strange. Once again, they noticed that a few of their teachers were hanging out and talking to Dan, while checking everyone's progress and asking questions to their PFT trainer.

Both Angie and Bryan had a hunch as to why that might be, but none of them wanted to jinx the day by saying it out loud. Instead, they gave their best performance and hoped it would be enough.

After changing into their Academy uniforms, they walked to the Auditorium, finding it half-empty, compared to every other day so far.

Dan informed them that the rest of the Trainees had received a different assignment and were now working on it instead, so that gave them more time to fully explain their own cases during class.

Angie asked to go last and her wish was granted.

She sat back, listening to everyone's case summary and some of them were really interesting. Pretty much everyone had chosen a cold case that had never been closed and were now analyzing the evidence with fresh eyes. Some had pretty good ideas and suggestions as to what could have been done to continue the investigation and Dan seemed to be impressed. So did their Criminology teacher.

"Angela and Bryan, please?" The teacher announced at the end of the class, giving them a total of 30 minutes to talk.

As they took over the podium, they looked sure of themselves and acted professional. Angie did not act funny, she did not comment on things that were not connected to their investigation and she did not smile like she usually did. Dan found that to be quite impressive, given the fact that every single time he had been around her, she had been an accurate representation of the Energizer Bunny, like Bryan sometimes liked to call her. She was now still full of life, but she had toned it down majorly, showing everyone that she could walk in the shoes of an Agent without being considered weird or funny.

They started off slowly, building up their case, giving all the information one would need, in chronological order, and presenting it from both their point of view, as witnesses, and also from the point of view of investigators.

Facts got laid out and the timeline was being developed from scratch, as they drew it on the white board and kept adding pieces to it as their story unraveled.

Dan did not seem surprised that this was their case of choice. He would have been pissed if it weren't. He did, however, seem quite impressed with the way they were handling everything and putting the pieces together.

He was well aware of their little investigation. Their DNA testing teacher had been instructed to sabotage their experiments and to confuse them as much as he could, which was why he had pulled Robert out of their study group. And yet, they had managed to obtain the results and were now explaining everything to people, in a way that it would be clear, but also, using the right criminology terms, which showed that they had been catching up on their reading.

"You only have two more minutes left. Can you, please, briefly tell us the outcome of your investigation?" The Criminology teacher asked as his chronometer was ticking, in his hand.

"Yes, Sir. We can tell you…" Bryan started off.

"But we would rather show you." Angie ended his line.

"Also, we are sorry to disobey the 'No Phones In Class' rule, but this is very much needed right now." She added before sending a text from Bryan's phone.

The main door of the Auditorium opened and a human figure started walking towards the podium.

Female. Young. Mid-height. Not wearing a uniform like theirs.

"What the-…" Dan was shocked. He had known that they had figured out this girl was alive and well, but he would have never guessed that they would be able to actually find her.

"Hey guys!" Amanda waved at everyone, now standing between Angie and Bryan.

People gasped. Some of them were skeptical about Angie and Bryan's presentation, as it all seemed way too detailed of a scheme, to be true. They believed there had been an actual incident at the end of the first week of the Academy, and that the incident had been covered up by their training Agents, to not draw negative attention to the Academy. But, now, having the girl stand in front of them made them feel stupid and a little guilty, for not having doubted the validity of the facts they had been told when it had all happened.

"I…" Dan started off, but he could not think of a single negative thing to say to them. His scheme, his plan to be a jerk, had to go on for a little longer, but he just could not go through with it at that moment.

"Congratulations. This was a job exceptionally well done, guys." He then caved in and finally gave them that long-awaited compliment.

The Criminology teacher pointed out a few things about their investigations – some weak points and some things they could have done differently, to save time. Other than that, he had eagerly complimented them as well.

Amanda sat down next to them, as a student, and waited for the final words before the class got dismissed.

"Lunch is on me!" Angie announced as they were walking out of the building, after class.

"I actually can't stay…" Amanda shrugged, noticing how Dan was staring at her from distance.

"It was not a proposition." Angie grabbed Amanda's hand and started walking to her favorite healthy food place.

"Gotta say, guys, I thought it would feel better…" Angie commented right after they placed their order.

"What?" Amanda asked, feeling a bit out of the loop.

"Finally getting a compliment." Angie specified. "I guess after all the negative things I've heard recently, I've created this expectation in my head that getting a compliment would make me feel more powerful, you know, maybe even more motivated. But honestly, it didn't. It just felt random. I don't know. Maybe I've fantasized about that moment way too much, so when it came it was kind of underwhelming. Oh well. I guess I don't need a compliment to be motivated after all. Good to know."

"God, I've missed your bubbliness." Amanda rolled her eyes, but something about her was much softer than what Angie remembered. As if it was a completely different person, standing next to her right now.

"I've missed your snarky remarks. Just, maybe not early in the mornings. Although, I have Bryan now to kick out of bed on a daily basis, so in a way it feels like you were never really gone." Angie laughed, now back to her cheerful personality.

They spent the next 45 minutes chatting about all the things they had done in the Academy while Amanda was away.

"Don't worry. We'll make sure you catch up with everything. We made friends with a lot of cool people who can tutor you in the different study subjects, so you can get back to being one of the most awesome Trainees in the Academy! Obviously, we will tutor you as well. Don't stress about it, we won't abandon you!" Angie said softly.

"Guys, you've been nothing but nice to me since we met. Uh, there is something I need to tell you-…" Amanda got cut off by her phone buzzing.

She read a message and then looked up apologetically.

"I'm sorry, but I really need to go now." Amanda stated, already standing up. "Thank you so much for working on my case. Mostly – thank you for not giving up on me, guys! That's what makes Trainees stand out in the Academy, that's what would make both of you amazing Agents in the future. Just remember that, both of you, are insanely gifted, in different ways, so don't let anyone ever bring you down. Stick together and keep doing what you're doing. I'm sure your supervisors and teachers would appreciate all of your hard work and efforts. Thank you so much, again. And good luck!" She said before leaving the little restaurant.

"Is it just me or did that sound like another Goodbye?" Bryan raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"It sounded more like the ending of one chapter and the beginning of the next one." Angie watched Amanda walk off towards the outside training area.


Morgan was now waiting to board his plane. It was a bit chilly and he should have been super excited to go back home and spend the day at the beach, with his wife and son.

But he wasn't.

"Weekend's done, going back to work. Sucks, huh?" Some guy, sitting next to him in the waiting area, commented.

Those random words from a complete stranger made Morgan sigh.

"Actually, it's kind of the other way around…" He said before unblocking his phone and starting to type a message to his wife.

He found himself typing something extra-long, but then realized how lame it was, so he deleted it all and started over. And then he did that about five more times, each time unable to hit the Send button.

This whole week had messed with his head. He had tried getting something he wanted and failed more times than he could count. Then he had realized it was stupid, so the moment he dropped his efforts, said thing had been given to him, out of the blue. And then he had developed a major case of cold feet, so he had opted for an escape. But then, he had found himself torn. No matter what he did, he wanted two completely different things and he could not think of a way to get one of them and be able to enjoy it fully, without thinking about the other.

He kept typing and deleting and, to his surprise, his wife sent him a photo.

It was a document, with their names on it and their child's name on it as well. She had signed it already, all that was missing was his signature.

He dialed her number immediately.

"You knew…" His voice was soft, a little apologetic.

"Baby, I knew since the moment you showed me Garcia's e-mail." Her voice was something he had missed. "I married a profiler, remember?"

"So, where are we at now?" He asked, falling even more in love with her after that last statement of hers.

"Well, it's a great pre-school. I've spoken to the Director and to the nice young lady who would be teaching our son. They have both agreed on the transfer. The only thing missing is your signature." She spoke so calmly, as if this huge change in their life did not bother her even a tiny little bit. Which, it did not.

"But…don't you want to discuss it?" He sighed once again.

"Nope. That would only give you the chance to make yet another bad decision." She smirked.

"So…" He trailed off, listening to the announcement for his plane boarding. The gate was now open.

"So, don't you dare step foot on that plane. Go back and be with the people who need you in their lives." She giggled.

"What about the people I need in my life?" There was this feeling in his stomach, that he had to lose one of his wishes, in order to get the other one.

"They have plane tickets for tomorrow morning. Don't you worry about a thing. I've packed all of our stuff this week and I've already shipped the boxes to Rossi's house. And yes, I spoke to Krystal about it. She said she can keep them in storage until we find a place to live in and settle down. Also, I have already switched back to our doctor and to his original pediatrician. And I've made a mani-pedi reservation for Tuesday morning, so don't you dare back off now!" She kept on chuckling and she spoke with such ease.

"Woman, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my whole entire life and I will love and protect you forever!" He said, right before whispering a few other adult-related things to her.

"Sir, boarding is almost complete. Please, hurry." An airport employee urged him, as he was standing in front of the gate.

"Oh, no. I am exactly where I want to be!" Morgan said with a smirk and he walked out of the airport, hailing himself one of those expensive cabs, the ones that he hated so much. But no price could be put on his happiness. And nothing could stand between him and his two wishes.

At that moment, he realized that a man can get just about anything in life, as long as he had the right woman standing next to him. Even if she was physically on another continent.


"Tu ne manges plus…"

A sigh followed.

"Tu ne souris plus…"

Yet another sigh, but no reply.

"Tu ne me parles plus et tu ne ressembles plus à toi…"

This time, he shrugged.

Yes, he knew that he wasn't eating or smiling anymore. Yes, he had not been talking to Victor anymore and yes, he didn't seem like himself anymore.

He knew that.

But there was nothing he could do about it.

"Not to mention you walk off on your own, for hours. What do you even do? Where do you go?" Victor kept on asking.

Richard did not utter a word. It was none of his business anyway.

"Look, I've seen you drift off into this state…and it wasn't good. You begged me to leave you alone then and I regret ever listening to you, man. So now I'm going to be a pain in your ass and I'm going to haunt you, stalk you, put a security detail at your house, just to make sure you're alright. Do you hear me?"

Richard pretended to be extremely busy, reading a piece of paper over and over again.

Victor lost it and it was now his turn to get physical against Richard's desk. His fist hit hard against it before he grabbed the piece of paper, shredding it to pieces and throwing it in the air, letting it fall on top of them in a very dramatic way that Angela would have surely enjoyed. She was a sucker for a good drama scene.

"This was important!" Richard finally spoke, but not about himself. No. He'd ignore his own existence, his well-being and his sanity and he'd only ever care when it came to work. Much like a certain Emily Prentiss.

"You are important! Okay? You!" Victor was a tough guy. He oozed a certain hunger for respect and, with his job, he had to. And so did Richard, but not lately.

"You are my family, man. What are you doing with your life? Where are you hiding lately? Why are you pushing me out of your life?" Victor continued, this time a little more softly.

"I'm just minding my own business." Richard said silently.

"Doing stupid stuff? No, man, I'm not letting you go down. You've worked your ass off for this. And yeah, you're the highest position around here, but you are not invincible. There's the Government, may I remind you. There's the Police. There's so many organizations and people who are just waiting for you to screw up, so they could put an end to you and to your career. Let's not give them this satisfaction, huh?"

"I'm fine. I really don't enjoy you barging into my office every couple of days and asking me to explain myself. I'm a grown ass man and I can make decisions about my own life, okay?" Richard tried to get through to Victor, because he was really sick of all these talks.

"Oh yeah? Well, you were a grown up man back then, too. May I remind you how that turned out for you?" Victor raised an eyebrow.

Each time he brought up the past, Richard remained silent as a mouse. It was a low blow, but he needed to be hit with it. He deserved it. It was the only thing that could help him realize his mistakes and make sure he'd never make them again.

"I don't know what to tell you, okay? Yes, I'm not being myself. But what if I don't want to be myself anymore? What's the point? I can go back to…you know, how I was before. What I did before. I could use some change…"

"Like Hell no, you're not going back to that!" Victor winced, just thinking about it.

Richard was a Daredevil. He was known for his risky stunts and, so far, he'd always been lucky. But Victor knew that one day, his cockiness would catch up with him. He really was not invincible.

"There are seven billion people in the world…" Victor tried to give him the 'she's not the only woman' speech yet one more time.

"And yet, you chose me to be your best friend!" Richard countered.

If it was true, if there were so many people, then why do we always feel connected to certain ones? Why would they matter so much? Wasn't it mathematically possible to find seven billion other substitutes?

"But she left, Richard. And she's a grown up. She made a choice. You have to respect that." Victor sighed, his voice now much more calm and soothing.

"She only left, because she knows none of it…" Richard gulped, his eyes drifting off in the distance, as if he was playing an imaginary film in front of his eyes.

"And do you really think she would have stayed, if she knew the truth?" Victor challenged, because it really always came back to the truth, whatever that was.

"The truth, no. She would have ran. She would have left, without ever looking back." Richard sighed. The truth was a very ugly one. He wouldn't blame her, whatever her reaction would be.

"My truth?" He said, emphasizing on the fact that the truth and his truth, the one he saw with his own eyes and felt with his own heart, were two very different concepts. "Yes. She would have stayed. I have no doubt about it. About her. It's always been her…"

Victor analyzed those words for a long moment, coming to the realization that Richard was absolutely right. Any woman who would understand Richard's truth, was a woman worth fighting for. At that moment, Victor decided to drop his annoying pleas for his best friend to move on, and to do something else instead.

"Fine. You win. I'm on your side." He shrugged uncomfortably. "Now, can I do something to track her down for you? Whatever you are doing during your lunch break, can you please stop? Can I, please, help you out?"

"No. Nothing can be done…" Richard was visibly sad and it pained Victor to see him like that.

"You sure don't believe that..." Victor raised an eyebrow challengingly. He was good at digging up information about anyone and anything. And so was Richard.

"No, Vic. No more lies, no more plotting and scheming. If I ever hear from her again, I want to know that it was her decision to call me back, not our master plot to get her attention. That's not what I want from her."

"Oh, mon Dieu, you are so into that woman…" Victor pointed out.

"You have no idea, man."

"On the contrary. I know it all. And I know you, man. You deserve to be happy. And I just hope she deserves to be with someone as amazing as you."

"She deserves the world." Richard smiled finally. "Also, I spend my lunch breaks at a place I went to, with her. And no, I'm not doing drugs or anything stupid. You know me."

"Good. Now can we go back to trying to figure out that mess of a proposal we just received in the office this morning? We have to sign it until noon and I haven't even read all of it yet." Victor was now trying to calm down as well. Worrying for Richard was something he'd never stop doing, but he also trusted his best friend and if he said he wasn't doing anything stupid, this was a fact, for Victor. No further doubt, no need for more questions. Richard was not a liar.

"We could…" Richard started laughing all of a sudden. "But you, dumbass, shredded the document to pieces!"

"Oh, shit." Victor became pale.

They only had one copy of that document and he had destroyed it earlier during his hissy fit. Needless to say, it was a very important piece of paper.

"Don't worry. I skimmed over it and, yeah, it was a good proposal, but it would have taken too long. And I'm not a patient person. So, I'll e-mail them and decline politely." Richard didn't seem to be upset about it. "And I might have a little plan in my mind, for something that would give us twice the results, in much less time. Yes, it's risky and yes, it involves me getting involved…"

"Getting involved?" Victor questioned.

"It's a one week deal. I'll be in and out of there before you knew it. And I'm going to need someone I trust, to back me up on this. So, what do you say…will you be able to handle that?" Richard smirked and as much as Victor didn't want to give him the satisfaction of letting him do something so stupid and risky, he also could not deny him, not when Richard was finally showing interest in something, after his Lauren drama.

"Oh, I can handle it, alright." Victor accepted the challenge.

"Alright, so here's what I'm thinking…" Richard then poured a carefully detailed plan and Victor realized this was not a spur of the moment thing. This was something Richard had been working on, for days. No wonder he had seemed odd and distracted.

"Just don't get yourself killed again, alright?" Victor frowned at the end of the briefing. It was way too dangerous, but Richard was going to do it, with or without him.

"I can only promise you to try." Richard smirked, trying to be a smart ass about it, but he met Victor's disapproving glare.

Victor hated it when Richard spoke about death.

"Also, just in case, can you maybe try to not attend at least this funeral with those atrocious sunglasses? God, you look like one of those undercover special agents in the movies. So dramatic. You always steal my thunder and it's supposed to be my day, well, even if it's the last one." Richard laughed out loud, but Victor's facial features tensed all that more.

"Stop saying things like that!" He asked, almost begging.

The ease with which Richard always spoke about death was confusing to Victor. A few times he had been this close to breaking into Richard's therapist's office and stealing his file, just to figure out what the Hell was in this man's mind and why did he speak, act and sound like the Devil, whenever he pleased.

Richard had this character trait that he would be one person constantly, but then suddenly, as if he flipped a switch, he would turn into someone who had absolutely nothing to do with Victor's best friend. It was hardly a bad trait, given the job they had, but Victor had been creeped out by Richard's icy cold stare on numerous occasions. One thing was sure – he never wanted to cross Richard.


Emily sighed, walking into her apartment on her own, for the first time in a week now. She had gotten used to giggling with Morgan, letting him open the door for her and then pretending to be upset about the fact that he'd thrown his jeans over the couch before going in for a shower.

The truth was – he had only been gone for a few hours, but she missed him already. One week was not enough. If she had to be honest – a lifetime with him would hardly be enough.

And then she inevitably drew a parallel to another moment in her life, just recently. It had been exactly this much time – a week, with someone she felt exactly this way about – a lifetime by his side would barely satisfy her needs.

She kicked her shoes off and tried to watch some TV. Everything was stupid. Uninteresting. Non stimulating. Boring. Unintelligent.

Emily Prentiss did not need something random, such as a TV show or a movie re-run. No. she needed something stimulating, someone to have a conversation with, someone that could make seven whole days feel like both a second and a lifetime. Someone who would challenge her intellectually and someone who would, borderline, do other amazing things to her.

And then she realized she was no longer thinking of Morgan, despite the fact that he had just recently been naked and oiled up, courtesy of Garcia, holding her close and kissing her head. No. He was a friend and no matter where in the world he'd go, she'd always have him. Yes, she'd love to have him close, but the pain could not compare…

There was someone else she could not stop thinking about.

Her hand reached underneath the sofa cushion and she grabbed the letter, reading it carefully, twice. Tears instantly rolled down her cheeks and it still hurt, like it had hurt her the first time she had read it.

"I don't want to fall in love with Lauren Reynolds…"

She sighed, reading his closing line. Oh, he had absolutely no idea.

Would he like her if he knew the truth? If he knew that she had lied and she had tried to pretend like she was someone else? Would he hate her for it?

Or would he give her the chance to explain that, despite her best attempts, for those seven days she had spent with him, she had given him Emily Prentiss – pure, real, unfiltered, one hundred percent Emily and only Emily Prentiss.

The profiler in her came to the conclusion that he would have hated her if he knew the truth.

But then, he would have maybe let himself fall in love with her, if he knew her truth – her reasons behind it all.

Because, as little as she knew about him, she was sure, deep down in her heart, that Richard was a good man. And despite that nagging gut feeling that was giving her nausea each time it resurfaced, she knew that if he had stayed, she would have gone against all of her reservations, beliefs, morals, she would have torn down those walls of steel that she had built around her for the years after her fifteenth birthday, and she would have given him a chance. A real chance. The chance she knew he deserved.

And yet – he had left.

Her right hand swept one more tear from her chin before she hid the letter again. There was a very unpleasant pain in the left side of her chest now and she knew it wasn't going to go away. How did she know? Well, that pain never really went away, since the first time she had read his letter. She had suppressed it, she had learned how to live with it and how to function like herself again, but it did not mean that the pain was gone. If anything – she felt it more and more, with each day that came.

"And your dumb ass told me it was real!" Emily whispered, mentally directing those words towards her inner voice.

"It is real, Emily…"

She shook her head. Was she going crazy? Or did she just hear the voice again?

"I am not going to be fooled by a man again. I made a promise to myself. Yes, I was going to break it, on a whim, after just a week of knowing someone and yet knowing absolutely nothing about him…" She kept on whispering, unsure if this time she was speaking to the inner voice, or to herself. Either way, it was disturbing and most definitely not normal.

"But he left. And I'm an egoist for taking it so badly, because leaving is my specialty. It's what Lauren did best. And it's what has caused so much pain, to people that I love. So no, I simply cannot believe that this is real…not after the way he ended it. I refuse to be a victim. Not again. I've worked for years, to make my scars heal. And I have made zero progress. I'm not ready for new scars. No, thank you."

She kept on speaking silently. There was something so comforting about the darkness in her living room. She had switched the TV off and she was now on her own, in the dark, just thinking out loud.

When she didn't hear anything in reply, she groaned.

"Don't you dare give me the silent treatment, okay!? I know you disagree with me, but there's nothing I can do about the way I feel." Now stating that she couldn't do anything about the way she felt about being left, Emily raised her voice just a little bit, upset that her inner voice was now having an attitude and letting it show.

She then gave herself a whole minute to analyze her last sentence.

"There's nothing I can do about the way I feel…" She repeated it, this time intending something else.

"Nothing I can do about the way he makes me feel…" She specified, in case her inner voice was dumber than the real Emily Prentiss, or not a profiler at all, and in case it wouldn't be able to catch on that subtle change of context.