CHAPTER 55

DAMNED IF I BREAK YOU A THIRD TIME

Emily opened her eyes to the sound of birds chirping. It wasn't even dawn yet.

"Alright, Prentiss…" She said to herself, getting out of bed and walking to the mirror.

"Let's turn this mess around, shall we?" She said, this time to the reflection of herself.

She sighed deeply. A lot was riding on this. Yes, she had been given a clean slate – one that she knew she deserved, but she still had to work on her relationship with her colleagues, yet one more time. Especially with JJ.

After a long and refreshing shower, she put the thoughts of having said yet another 'Goodbye' to Morgan, all the way to the bottom of a drawer in her mind, before she started doing her make-up.

Because, if the Emily Prentiss that Morgan once knew was going to make a return – she'd look cute as Hell. At the very least.

She put a little more thought into her clothing choices for the day, grabbing a black dress from her wardrobe and complementing it with a mat Bordeaux lipstick, the one she had bought in Paris.

Oh, Paris…

Her eyes inevitably darted to the couch, where the letter was still hidden under a layer of cushions and tears.

But this time, she would not allow herself to cry.

No.

She was stronger than that.

He did not deserve her tears.

She did not deserve his pain.

Not a single tear would ever fall from her eyes again.

Not one!

Ever.

"Ugh…" She hissed in annoyance, grabbing a cotton ball from her cabinet and pressing it under her right eye for a second.

Well, maybe just one tiny little tear…

But that would be all!

"Get it together, Prentiss!" She spoke to herself in the mirror, proud of the fact that she hadn't managed to screw up her mascara. It had taken her a while to curl her eyelashes and to make them look like they were fake, instead. She'd be damned if she let anything mess with her best efforts of looking put together. And cute.

"Hmm, what are we going to do about you now?" Her fingers slid through a strand of hair. She did not like it straight. Moreover, it was all fizzy now, so she already had to heat-treat it. Why not curl it, instead of straighten it then?

"Ah, much better." She smiled, looking at herself fifteen minutes later.

"Oh, yeah. That's what you needed, Hot Stuff!" She smirked, calling herself the way Morgan liked to call her, while placing her favorite earrings on her ears.

"Too much?" She cringed, trying out a bracelet, on top of it all.

"Hmm…" Her feet found their way into the most gorgeous and also most uncomfortable shoes in the world, and she stood in front of the full-length mirror now, twirling twice, just to make sure she was Prentiss-Approved.

"Yep definitely bracelet on." She smiled, loving her overly-feminine reflection.

"We're going all in, baby!" Her words, along with a happy dance, helped motivate her early in the morning.

An hour later, she was entering the BAU office space with her head held high. She was, also, one of the few people in the building, so early in the morning.

A smile creeped on her face when she went upstairs and entered her office. The familiar smell of furniture, perfume and paper files hit her senses and she realized that she had missed it. Despite all the drama, all the times she had ended up in a hospital, all the times she had been shot at, pursued, chained, gagged, kidnapped, threatened and then shot at again…Emily Prentiss missed this.

Emily Prentiss missed Emily Prentiss.

"Good morning, early bird." JJ's voice came from the door.

"Well, good morning to you, ChayChay." Emily said sleepily.

She had this weird way of pronouncing JJ's name. It was barely audible, but there was something so sweet and childlike in the way she said those two letters. And there was that smile – a big genuine smile, one that only JJ can put on her face.

"Listen, I wanted to talk to you before we-…" JJ started, but Emily simply walked over to her, pacing her hand on her shoulder.

"Water under the bridge." Emily suggested, but then realized that she was not the only side of the problem. "At least for me." She then added.

"I just want you to know that, even though I meant every word I said, I mostly meant the closing lines of that message…" JJ pointed out.

"I know." Emily's hand now pulled JJ in for a hug, because, after all, she had missed feeling the warmth of her best friend's body, pressing against hers.

Emily pulled back after a few seconds, but, to her surprise, she felt JJ's hands wrap around her, pulling her back in. She was not done. She hadn't had enough. Would she ever have enough of Emily?

"Oh, JayChay." Emily let her hand rub JJ's back for a moment, taking in her scent, it bringing back a flush of memories.

"Yay, I'm just in time to join the party!" Reid squeaked from behind them, reaching them with open arms and making sure he'd wrap one hand around each one of the girls.

"Spence, why so early? I saw you online at 2 am." JJ raised an eyebrow.

"While sleep requirements vary slightly from person to person, most healthy adults need between seve7 to nine hours of sleep per night to function at their best. Children and teens need even more. And despite the notion that our sleep needs to decrease with age, most older people still need at least seven hours of sleep. I consider myself an old soul, so I guess seven hours were enough." Reid replied.

"It's 7 am now. You barely had five hours of sleep if you went to bed at two." JJ pointed out, messing with his hair. "Not to mention, the time it takes you to drive down here, so that only gives you, at most, four hours of sleep."

"Okay, you got me." Reid shrugged. "I couldn't wait to have her back." He whispered to JJ, but Emily most definitely heard that.

"I must be real special if you were willing to be exposed to double the germs, by hugging us both." Emily smirked.

"Well, psychology points out that hugs decrease the amount of stress a person is feeling and that a physical touch is a sense of support and intimacy." He stated, being a bit jittery.

"But…?" JJ asked, knowing that, with Spencer, there was always a But.

"But a study published in August of 2014 in the American Journal of Infection Control found that fist bumping is the most hygienic greeting. It is believed to spread fewer germs than high fives and handshakes." He added, now feeling satisfied by his speech.

"Oh, here's my boy!" Emily giggled, messing with his hair, just like JJ had done a minute ago.

"Hey, I actually combed it this morning!" He stepped away from both girls, frantically trying to sleek it all back in place.

"Ooh, he combed it." JJ teased him. "How cute!"

"You two are mean…" He muttered to himself, on his way to the bullpen.

"And to think I was excited to see you again…" He continued to whine to himself and it sent the girls into a deep, genuine laughter.

"God, I've missed him." Emily said to JJ when Reid was out of sight, possibly in the bathroom, scrubbing germs from his hands.

He prided himself in being over his germophobia, yet every time someone teased him about it, he spiraled right back into his obsession.

"I've missed all of you." Emily then corrected herself with a statement that hit closer to her heart.

"Promise me one thing?" JJ's eyes looked up at her. Because, through the years, Emily had not only been her boss and her friend. No. She had been her mentor, her savior, her lifeline, her everything. Emily was the person JJ had the strongest connection to.

"I promise you, JayChay, I won't leave you, ever again." Emily was quick to reply and somehow that speed suggested there was not much truth to her words, almost as if it had been rehearsed.

"How can you be so sure?" JJ shook her head in disbelief.

"Because I saw you break once. And then I saw you break twice. And I'll be damned before I let my eyes see you break a third time." Emily, now standing in front of JJ, extended her hand, holding JJ's in hers, massaging the palm of her hand with her thumb.

"I'll never do this to you again, JJ." She whispered and that tiny crack in her voice now, that emotional overload in her eyes – that was what finally gave JJ the strength to drop the topic and to move on.

She nodded before exiting Emily's office and busying herself with work preparations at her own desk.


"Guys, I am happy to announce that the BAU is back and we need all hands on deck." Emily started her opening speech when the clock hit 10 am and they were all in the meeting room.

She had walked in with pride, strutting to the white board and getting ready for yet another team roundup.

"Damn, Prentiss…Wow!" Luke held himself back from whistling, but he was quite vocal with his appreciation.

"Looking good, Chief!" Even Reid gave her a compliment.

"Am I even straight?" Tara raised an eyebrow, walking by Emily to go take her usual seat at the table. She eyed Emily up and down, twice, before she continued walking.

"I'm married, so…" Rossi shrugged when it was his turn to compliment Emily. And, in typical Rossi manner, this was his way of giving appreciation to her.

"Thank you…" Emily blushed a little bit, but still loving the feedback.

"Now, back to work. We have been handed a case by the Bellevue Police Department…" She started off.

"Bellevue, Washington?" Tara raised an eyebrow. "They have a Police Department?" She added, having previous knowledge of this area. She knew a guy from there and he had always pointed out how small that place felt like.

"Spencer?" JJ leaned back on her seat, shooting him a glance.

"Bellevue is a city in Washington state, across Lake Washington from Seattle. Downtown Park has a large lawn, gardens and a waterfall. Nearby, the Bellevue Arts Museum features craft and design exhibitions, plus a sculpture garden. The Bellevue Botanical Garden highlights Pacific Northwest plants, and includes woodlands and wetlands. I'm digging it." He smiled.

"Do I even want to know why?" Rossi asked.

"KidsQuest Children's Museum has interactive science, tech and art exhibitions." Reid smiled contently.

"Also, the Bellevue Police Department, according to very recent data, accommodates 185 commissioned officers and 47 civilian employees. The department's annual operating budget is about $45 million and it only services 143,000 people…which makes us think about our own budget here…" Reid looked down at the table, feeling a bit weird.

"Wow, they better have good coffee!" JJ smirked, already planning on asking for free stuff for the BAU team.

"Guys, no, no!" Emily shook her head. "We go in, professional, and we ask for no special treatment. Let's not forget that we need to stay humble and also, to stay within our own budget."

"Speaking of budget, should I start making travel plans for the team?" Tara asked, since her previous work expertise with travel planning was very much needed at that moment.

"Yes, please. JJ, you and I are sharing a triple room." Emily had clearly given this some thought.

However, when it came to the boys, she shot a glance at Rossi.

"I'll be happy to share a room with just about anyone." He said calmly, now glancing over to Reid.

"I uh…" Reid stuttered.

"Luke and I are fine sharing. We always do. The more the merrier." Matt said.

"In a very non awkward way, of course." Luke smirked, making it all sound way different than what Matt intended it to sound like.

"Oh, Luke, please get your fix from Lisa before we leave." Emily laughed, because she had always had this banter with the guy.

Luke then sat back in his seat, like a guilty schoolboy.

Emily sensed his discomfort and a glance at Matt, sitting next to him and being his personal confident, confirmed to her that she had missed out on a few warning signs coming from Luke recently.

She bit her bottom lip, not wanting to discuss his personal life in front of everyone and she moved on, but only after making a mental note to herself to talk to Luke in private, the first chance she had.

"I mean, I guess I shouldn't mind sharing either…" Reid shrugged, being smart enough to know when to change topic. "Right?" He then added with a scared look on his face.

"Come on, bro!" Matt smirked at Reid. "We'll be nice to you. We'll use the gentle shaving foam."

Reid's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. Shaving foam? He had seen enough crime scenes to know that this could not end well for him…or for his hair, since he had no beard.

"Dear Lord Jesus, I come to you, humble and desperate…" Rossi put his hands together and leaned over the table, looking upwards. He could not have done a more Italian thing. "Please, I am begging you, please give me the strength to survive Camp with the boys!"

Everyone laughed, not realizing that he was only half-joking with those words.

"Quadruple then?" Emily finally pushed her initial suggestion, timidly, as if not to step on anyone's toes.

She respected Rossi way more than to stick him in a room with two wild animals and a genius. But desperate times call for desperate measures and, even booking a triple for the girls and the quadruple for the boys, she was over the budget and she was paying the remaining bits with her own money. She would however, not let them know about that.

Luke and Matt nodded in agreement, absolutely genuinely.

Rossi nodded, feeling like someone was pressing a revolver to his temple and he had no other choice.

Reid had lowered himself on his seat, so much that he was about to disappear under the table. But he nodded, too.

Emily took a second to thank the Lord herself, when she received somewhat positive vibes from almost everyone.

"Okay, I've sent the case information to your accounts. Now here's what we're dealing with…" Emily started off.

She had received the e-mail late last evening, which meant that she had spent hours studying it and she still felt unprepared, it being the first case they had in a month now.

"JJ, do you mind?" Emily then, suddenly, came out and asked JJ to join her by the presentation board.

It came naturally, spontaneously. Emily felt that sad emptiness around her and she just needed to feel someone stand by her side, giving her courage, even if they didn't speak. What better someone than JJ?

"Sure." JJ stood up, fixing the wrinkles on her shirt and clearing her throat before standing tall, next to the boss.

Emily then had what she needed. She continued, giving them all the information they had on the case so far. JJ just stood there, asking questions from time to time and also, very subtly, commenting on a few of the things that Emily had pointed out.

It felt good. It was no longer Emily 'against' everyone. It was more leveled this way. She liked it, a lot.

"So, we have three victims so far. One newly kidnapped local girl who fits the victimology and we have no leads, no suspects?" Rossi summed it all up in two sentences when they were done listening.

"Exactly." Emily looked at him, trying not to show how desperately she needed them to crack this case.

"And we are now going to work alongside the Bellevue Police, doing everything we possibly can, to make sure this gets resolved quickly and painlessly." JJ added, brightening up the mood a little bit, as she knew where Emily was right now, mentally – back a month ago, in that room, with that case…

"Wheels up in 30!" Emily said with authority.

When everyone was about to leave, she added one more thing that came to her spontaneously.

"JJ, would you mind shadowing me on this one?" She asked, the words coming from deep within her heart.

"Uh, sure. Okay." JJ gulped, suddenly her knees giving in and she felt the need to sit down.

If JJ loved one thing, it was to play Unit Chief. She wasn't sure she was ready to want to be one just yet, but down the road, she knew this was her ultimate goal. And yet, she never allowed herself to even fantasize about it, because that would only mean that Emily Prentiss would no longer be there. And the reasons for that scared the crap out of JJ. So, her dreams strayed away from the image of Unit Chief Jennifer Jereau.

Yet, it felt so good to be able to play it out, even temporarily.

"Alright. Now, it is no secret that I am…" Emily sighed, searching for the right words, also, words that were suitable for a business meeting. She found none, so she just shot it as it was.

"Fucked up, Basically." Emily shrugged. "I do not feel like I am fully able to act as Unit Chief, at least not for this first case after uh, the cursed case…" She shrugged.

Somehow the BAU had named their last case, from a month ago, and that name had stuck. Nobody wanted to talk about it, so every brief mention received this nickname and no specifics of this case had ever been discussed.

"And I do not wish to officially give up my job title, because God knows if I will ever get it back. So, I would like to make JJ my temporary shadow. From this point on, JJ's word trumps mine. If we are on the field and I give out a command, JJ is free to give a different one and we should all obey that one. Me included." Emily ended her speech calmly.

Everyone just raised their eyebrows. Emily was all about the power, the authority. She had always been great at it. Why would she back out now?

A few seconds later it hit them that Emily was doing the right thing. If she felt like she was unable to lead the team, she was now giving someone else the power and control, thus making sure the team would always have a stable leader, so that nothing bad could happen if Emily screwed up and made the wrong decision. She was surely not opting for a failure and she knew she was going to do everything in her power, in order to do great. But, given the last decisions she made turned out to be fatal, she was afraid to give the team her word, since she was unsure she could keep it. And there came JJ – the one with a good head on her shoulders, the one to lead the team away from any danger that Emily might, unintentionally, be leading them into.

Smart move. A move that only the strongest of leaders can choose to make.

Rossi was the first one to nod in agreement. Being the most experienced one on the field, he respected Emily for giving up her decision-making power and handing it to JJ.

"Alright, wheels up in 30." Emily then dismissed them all and went back to her office to gather the things she wanted to bring with her for the case.