CHAPTER 85
ALWAYS & FOREVER
Sunday evening, going back to the Academy dorms building, Angie and Bryan noticed boxes in front of every dorm room. They figured it must be the second care package sending, but they weren't too excited about it. Bryan waved it off, he already knew he wasn't going to get anything. Angie was not expecting anything from anyone, ever in life, so she was good.
To their surprise, there were two boxes in front of their room. One per each, although both of them thought the boxes were for the other person.
It took Bryan by surprise. He almost looked scared, as if he could not believe anyone even knew he was there.
Walking in, they put the boxes on their beds and tended to them only after taking their shoes off, so they could get comfortable and open their packages.
Bryan seemed beyond confused, going through the multiple energy bars and snacks that were stuffed inside.
"Who is it from?" Angie smiled and he did not have an answer for her. There was a card of two people, a boy and a girl, holding hands, but it was not signed.
"Who is yours from?" He tried to sit on her bed and watch her open the box, but she insisted on having some privacy during that process.
Bryan had been very stoic, very cold and very distant while opening his box. Angie had a feeling she, herself, was about to get a whole lot more emotional than that, judging by the appearance of her box.
Bryan went to take a shower, giving her privacy, as she had requested.
Angie sighed, running her fingers on top of the box. It had been sprayed with silver glitter and it was now stuck to her fingers. She laughed, watching it fall back on top of the box once she clapped her hands together, above it.
It was wrapped with a beautiful bow, a bit clumsy, but it still looked beautiful to her. It once again only said 'Wild Card' on top, so she wondered if there would be a card on the inside, like last time, because, she knew it was from the same person. She could feel the scent of their perfume, even before she opened the box.
Opening the package, the first thing on top was a brand new cover for the tablet she had received in the first care package last week – the pink glitter box. She did not own one before that, nor a computer, and she needed either one of those electronics, for her studies. During tests and practice, Trainees were given tablets to use, but they had to give them back after the class, which meant that she could not do her research from her dorm. She owned an old phone, which had been switched off since the moment she had stepped foot at the Academy and she had no intention of switching it back on again. So, as from a week ago, she now owned a tablet and as of seconds ago that tablet had a beautiful cover, with a picture of Paris by night.
Then there was another batch of fifty food tickets and she could not be any happier. She was slim, but she loved food.
Her fingers quickly scanned through the contents of the box, but the material things were not the focus of her search.
"Yes!" She said victoriously, finally spotting the card, on the bottom of the box.
She made herself comfortable in a corner of her bed and started reading, before she had even seen all the things in the box.
"I know the Academy tradition says I'm supposed to put some smart ass, cliché quote in here.
But I'm not one to follow. I'm one to lead. And if I couldn't lead you through life, I'll at least try to help you find your way out of the emotional mess you found yourself in, because of me…
You say you know what you mean to me. Always have.
But, you see, you don't know a thing.
You have absolutely no clue what you represent to me. What you mean to me. What you do to me.
There is not a day that went by since we last saw our "real" selves, that I haven't thought about what I might have done differently. Could it have all been different? What if I never lost you? What if you forgave me, after you lost me?
I'm good at disappointing people and I am even better at leaving. You know that. And it pains me that you do, because it means you've suffered the consequences of my actions. Twice, actually. And I have no plausible excuse for what I did to you. I just know I had to. You know I had to!
I also know that this message has to be about you, but I have to make it about me, so that it would be about you. And I know you are smart enough to know what that means.
Profile me, I dare you!
Analyze my every word.
Put my behavior under microscope.
Study my facial expressions when you are around me.
I dare you!
Because I know how good you are at seeing the truth, when you've been dared. And since I clearly suck at letting you know how much I love you, I figured my only chance is to make you figure it out yourself.
Because I do, "Angela"! I love you. Truly. Madly. Purely. Deeply. Unconditionally. And you, not wanting to let me back into your life one more time, would never change the way I feel for you. Ever! Nothing ever will. Because you, precious child, are worthy of all the love in the world and I wish you to find that special someone who would be able to give it all to you, since you clearly don't want it from me no more.
And if you ever decide to give me another chance, know that I will welcome you with open arms and I will spend the rest of my days on Earth, showering you with my love. I shall never make the mistake of leaving you, ever again. I shall never cause you pain.
I will love you...
Always & Forever!"
Angie gulped when she reached the end of the letter. And then she read it two more times, studying every dot, every space, every letter, applying everything she knew about linguistics. She profiled the person who wrote it and the final outcome was that these words were pure, they were real and they had come from the heart. Angie had no doubts about that.
The sloppily drawn heart at the end of the letter made her smile, but everything else was making her want to cry.
But Angela Hunter did not cry. Never has. Never will.
She remembered the last time she had cried, in a fit of anger and driven by despair. She had been only just a child, young and scared. Someone brave had given her some pretty good advice on that cold and terrifying night that she could never forget, so she then spent her entire life without any tears at all. She got creative and found other ways to sulk, but no tears came out from her eyes, ever again. Apart from two specific times, when Angela remembered bawling her eyes out uncontrollably. But those were her only two relapses. No more tears. She dealt with pain differently. She would sometimes joke that she was immune to pain and people would even believe her, because she would not even flinch at times when normal people would cry from pain, both emotional and physical pain.
And yet, after the third time she read the card, she was finding it harder and harder to keep her emotions in check. Usually, in times like those, she'd sit in front of a wall and fix a dot on it, with her eyes, and stare at it for hours. Or if she was in public, she'd play music on her earphones and she'd pretend to be immersed into the music, while in reality she'd be busy, trying to command herself not to blink, not to breathe, not to cry.
Her lower lip quivered and she was now finding it harder to take breaths. Was the air in the room too stuffy? Or was it something else?
Her index finger brushed over the two parts of the letter, where the words 'I love you' were written.
Then, for a brief moment, she allowed herself to remember the things she had been trying to forget. She closed her eyes and re-lived a very important moment of her life, from many years ago.
"I've never had someone like you in my life." Angie's tender voice sounded, in her own memory.
"I once had someone like you in my life. Not for long. And I've been feeling the pain and the void after their loss, until you came around." Another voice sounded. Soft voice, very soothing voice. A voice that Angela needed in her life. But, a voice that had hurt her, fooled her, said goodbye to her, twice. A voice that soothed her, but also a voice that she was now scared of – the voice from all of her dreams, but also the voice from all of her nightmares.
She shivered, remembering every intonation, every breath that person took as they spoke.
"I really like this city. I have friends here. I was accepted in a dance academy! It almost makes me feel…you know, normal again." Angie said, her voice sounding much younger.
"I know you like it. I've been thinking, why don't we settle here? You know the language. You'll go to a good school and keep dancing. You'll keep your friends…"
"You and I both know that this is not what our lives are supposed to look like." Angie's young voice countered.
"Why not? Don't we deserve to be normal, too? We have been through enough. You need to be happy."
"What about your own happiness? Do you really want to dump everything, for me?"
Angie then remembered the way that person had giggled after her question.
"My happiness is you, baby." The other person had stated, caressing Angie's cheek.
Subconsciously, Angie now did the same, hoping that the warmth of her own hand would remind her of the other person's touch. It did not.
"But you have a life. You also have friends. You have a job, too. I'm nothing but an obstacle for you."
"Yes, I have a life. And you, my precious little diamond, are now part of it. I cannot imagine a life without you in it. What life would that be?"
"A sad and very boring one, indeed!" Angela had clearly been a little firecracker since an early age.
"And this is why I love you. Because you laugh, you see the world in all of its colors and no matter how dangerous this is, you always find the positive, in everything and everyone. You, mon amour, will go far in life. You will do amazing things. And I want to be there, next to you, sharing your happiness with you."
"Well, I want that, too." Angie remembered leaning into that person's touch, allowing them to cup her face completely, with both hands, while their lips lingered on her forehead. It had been a sloppy, soggy kiss and, at the time, she had complained about that, but she now treasured the memory of it.
Angie missed those hands, that touch, her kisses goodnight.
"If I love you always…" The other person had started to ask, but Angie had been quick enough to answer.
"Yes, I will love you forever!"
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
EVERYONE: This short chapter is the start of an important story arc, about Angie's background, fears, old and new relationships with different people...and her fighting against her fears and other obstacles. Remember that every vague comment now is tied to something that will make sense once you know what is REALLY going on *wink*
"Spooladio" WOW, okay, your theories are way cool, as always! I replied to all of them via Inbox! As far as clues go, there has been lots, but with this current chapter they'll start to pop up even more. You'll learn a bit more about Angie's background and childhood and about her fears and the reasons why she doesn't let people close to her. Remember, the readers will figure out Angie's story before the BAU or other characters know, as it is crucial for the story (and for her future interactions with other characters) that her real "identity" stays a secret for a long while.
"rmpcmfan" The paper Henry accidentally brought back home is Richard's "break up" letter to Emily when he left, at the end of their week together. Yes, his phone number is on it. Sneak it back or confront Emily? Well, let's just have faith that ChayChay knows exactly how to handle Emily in such a delicate situation *wink*. Oh Emily sure will freak out if she noticed it was missing lol! As for Richard, yeah I'm tempted to write more flashbacks with him and the young girl in his life.
"Natasha36" Thanks :)! Will does have a point, yes. But he's handling JJ so wrong at this moment. This won't be a big storyline between them, but you will learn how this unfolds and what happens to them as a couple. As for JJ, trust that she will thread VERY lightly with Emily, given the delicacy of the situation. And LOL, that Rossi theory was just to prove a point that I'm not writing something sooo farfetched and insane to believe. But I'm glad it made you laugh lol, we all need more laughter right now!
"sweetkid45" Wow, new reviewer, hello, nice to have you here and thanks for writing something to me :)! I've previously sent you a private msg (Inbox) on this website! Now, I agree with you 100% about Will, but I had to write him in for this scene. He won't be main focus in the story, only just merely mentioned when needed. There's like one more scene where he appears, in connection to what just happened between him and JJ. I wish they had paired JJ with someone different, on the show, too! There are TONS of Emily/JJ moments in my story (NO romantic relation ever, they just profess their friendly love occasionally lol). The main characters I focus on are Emily, JJ (LOVE a strong female friendship bond!) and sometimes Rossi, out of the BAU team, but everyone else gets a mention and an occasional appearance in the story. As for the jumps, hehe I know...I'm using fragmented narrative to tell a story with many characters. I want it to have the feel of a new season, each chapter being a different 'episode', with different scenes, using multiple characters. This way I can tell more things at once and I like the challenge to write it like this :). Although I fully realize I'm not a genius or a TV writer lol, but I try to give it my best shot, this story takes up A LOT of my time and it's my little baby project that I'm proud of :)! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and thanks again for the kind review :)!
