AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hello, everyone :)!
Just poppin' in to say HI and to point out that my French readers will surely know the pastries I mention in this chapter, hehe! I would love it if the French readers reach out to me, you guys can give me amazing ideas for authentic French foods/things/traditions/activities! And also I'd love to chat with you and with whoever else might like to come out of hiding and come say HI to me hehe!
I see ya'll in my stats! I have readers from all over the world and this is mind-blowing! I'd love to greet all of you, so please reach out - I am not begging for reviews, I'd be perfectly happy with a private message as well, if you do not want to be too public. I just genuinely want to 'meet' more of you. I appreciate you following me for so long and I hope my updates give you a little something to help take your mind off of work, school, politics, drama, world going wild, etc.
Have a wonderful week and enjoy this new installment of my lil' creation:)!
CHAPTER 112
STUCK BETWEEN TWO WORLDS
"Oh, mother balls!" Emily exclaimed, walking into her office early on Monday morning and finding a slim figure, sitting in her chair, with their back at her.
It took her a second to reach out for her gun.
The chair turned around painfully slowly and Emily exhaled.
"Angela, for God's sake, it's half past six. What are you even doing here?" Emily said after a mini heart attack.
"First of all, you really like saying that line about the balls, don't you?" Angie smirked, standing up and letting Emily sit down on her comfortable chair. She did look like she needed to sit down.
"Secondly, my PFT got canceled and it sucks because I already did my cardio run and now I'm left high and dry…" Angie continued.
"I can't figure out if there is a sexual connotation to your last words, but I sure hope there isn't…" Emily rolled her eyes.
"As for your PFT, that's too bad. Now I feel kind of guilty for having all this sweet time on my hands, to enjoy in the gym downstairs, before everyone starts rolling in." Emily added with a smirk.
"Lucky you. I wish I had a gym to go to…" Angie gave her best performance - those puppy eyes, pleading in the most obvious kind of way.
"Yeah, sucks for you. I really feel your pain. You know, my gym also has free refreshments and occasionally they leave complementary energy bars for those early birds." Emily kept on playing her game. She was enjoying this more than anything else. Well, almost anything.
"Awwh. Your life sounds so awesome!" Angie said dreamily.
"You know what? As of recently, I can't complain." Grabbing her water bottle and a gym bag, Emily stood up from her desk and walked over to the door.
"So, you're going to work out at that cool gym, huh?" Angie had no idea how desperate she sounded. She also did not know that Emily knew what she was pointing at and that she was going to make her sweat for it.
"Yes, I am." Emily was cold, ice cold.
"Well, I mean, I hope you have a great work out. God, I know how good it is to start your week with a good work out. It makes you feel so refreshed, so ready for anything that will come your way. It's an amazing feeling, actually. I hope my PFT doesn't get canceled next Monday morning as well. I hate starting a week off lazy. It's the worst. It makes me feel like a failure and Angela Hunter is not a failure. She likes to work out. A lot. Especially on Monday morning-…"
Emily had just walked in the elevator, with Angie who would not shut her mouth until Emily pressed the palm of her hand against it.
She tossed a towel at Angie - apparently she had two fresh ones in her gym bag; and she sighed.
"Shut up already!" Emily laughed, finally letting Angie have her win.
"I always get what I want!" Angie smirked, whispering to herself, but unluckily for her, Emily had super hearing when it came to her.
"Not with me, you won't, young girl." Emily countered and Angie almost let her foot stomp to the ground, like as if she was fourteen again.
She remembered being fourteen once. She had been happy. She had lacked any sort of stability in her life, but she had been extremely happy, with someone special, by her side. And she missed those days, so much.
"Where's Hunter?" Dan asked Bryan when PFT started and she was nowhere to be seen.
Bryan had woken up that morning and noticed Angie was gone, wearing her running shoes, so as many times before he had figured he'd be seeing her at PFT later. But she hadn't showed up.
"Stomach virus. She couldn't get out of bed this morning." Bryan covered for her, hoping he wouldn't make a fool out of himself if she rolled up to the field five minutes later, announcing that she was just late to training.
Then again, this had never happened before. She was always early, even for tactical driving, which she absolutely despised.
"Yeah, sure." Dan hissed back. "She'd be training even inside of a damn body bag. Now tell me, where is my Trainee?"
"Sir, I don't know. I really do think she is sick." Bryan shrugged, deciding to be a bit more honest this time.
"We'll see about that." Dan walked away grumpily.
It wasn't like Angela to cut training, so she must have had a great reason to do so. He just hoped she was alive and out of trouble.
"So, how much trouble are you going to be in, for cutting PFT?" Emily finally came out and asked once they started working out together at the actual Agents' gym downstairs.
It was painfully obvious Angie had lied earlier. Emily knew it from the moment Angie had laid eyes on her, this morning.
"I'll let you know when I figure it out myself." Angie shrugged, walking to the pull ups station while Emily worked on abs.
"Why would you risk it?" Something wasn't adding up. Emily already knew that Angela was an overachiever, much like herself. Why would she cut class, now more than halfway done with the Academy?
"Just…because…"
"Oh, come on. What happened to being honest with each other?" Emily smiled brightly.
"That was for that other week. And that's over, so…" Angie trailed off.
"Ooh, so that's what it is. You're upset you're no longer my Mini?" Emily tried not to burst with pride, but it still showed in the way she spoke.
"I figured, if I can't have another week, or even another day like that, I could at least start my Monday morning with you and then pretend like it would be like that every day for the rest of the week…and the month…and the year…and my life…" Angie shrugged, feeling absolutely silly.
Emily took a moment to breathe and she simply just looked at Angela who was now eagerly doing pull ups, sweating, her face red and fuming, as she pushed all of her weight up, making sure her grip was good and that her body position met the Bureau standards. She was doing her absolute best to be the best at anything she possibly can.
What she didn't know was how damn perfect she already was, at least in Emily's eyes.
"Hey, how about that - I'll call Dan later and let him know I've requested to work out with you this morning? He would never punish you if I take the heat for it." Emily suggested and Angie finally stopped pretending like she was busy concentrating on her work out and not thinking of how weird she felt to have said her previous words out loud.
"You'd do that? For me?" She asked with a tiny smile.
"Yes, I would." Emily nodded. "In fact, how about we make Monday mornings time for us? We can work out together and then go have breakfast somewhere. Then you'll be back in time for your classes and I'll be back for my morning meet up with my team."
"You can do that!?" Angie gasped.
As far as she knew, all trainings were obligatory, except for when one had serious health issues.
"I sure can." Emily stated, hoping it was true. She had no idea, but she knew she wouldn't back down until Dan would allow Angie to miss out on Mondays' PFT.
"Can we go to the French place?" Angie asked enthusiastically.
"You really like that place, don't you?" Emily already knew the answer to that question.
"Mhm." Angie replied with Emily's favorite one line and they both laughed.
An hour and a half later they were fresh and clean after a shower, but Angie was now facing a new challenge – she had walked over to Emily's office, wearing just her sportswear and she had nothing to change into.
"My go bag is in my car. You can choose something out of it." Emily announced as they walked out of the gym, with Angie wearing her unused tank top as a skirt and her jacket on top, with nothing else underneath. Her active wear was soaked in sweat and there was no way she'd be putting it back on after a shower.
Once they reached Emily's car, she opened the trunk and let Angie look at whatever she found inside.
"Woah, you just came back from Paris!? No wonder you look so fresh and happy, for once!" Angie called out to Emily who was now getting in the car to start it up.
"Oh God, not that bag!" Emily sighed, realizing her onboard handbag from yesterday's flight was still in the trunk, with the check in sticker hanging from its top handle.
"So, I guess I wasn't supposed to see those, either?" Angie put her hand up in the air, allowing Emily to see it from the rear-view mirror in the car.
"Ugh." Emily groaned. "Yes, Angela, those were for you."
"Awesome! J'aime les macarons!" She said happily, adoring the beautiful packaging of macaroons – her favorite French pastry, before she finally picked up a pair of pants and a smart shirt from Emily's actual Bureau Go Bag.
"Jesus, what on Earth do you wear at work?" Angie was scandalized. He had chosen the most Okay-ish items from that bag and yet, they looked like they belonged to an old lady.
"I'm not sure if you fully understand this, but I am Unit Chief, for the FBI…" Emily started off.
"So, you have to dress like a nun? Come on, oh my God, is this a turtleneck? A turtleneck, Emily!" She was now even more scandalized.
"Hey, that's my comfortable 'around the hotel' lounge wear…" Emily frowned. Yes, she could have picked something a little less…nun-like. But no, that did not give Angela the right to be so brutally honest.
And then again – Emily was done with people who'd lie to her, people who wouldn't have the balls to tell her the truth, to her face, no matter how harsh the truth was.
"You don't fully understand what a banging body you have, for someone your age, do you?" Angie raised an eyebrow, now getting in the back of Emily's car.
"You can change once we go to the Mall. Plenty of changing rooms there to…oh, okay…" Emily cut herself off as she realized Angie was now already buttoning up her shirt. She had no problems changing in the back of the car. Nobody was around to see.
"Now back to you being one hot piece of-…"
"Angela!" Emily cut her off before she'd continue.
"What? Someone has to break it to you! Come on, a smart shirt I can justify…but only when it's playfully unbuttoned until right about, hmm…here…" Her hand gestured to the third button down, which was unbuttoned and it looked great on her. But she was twenty three years old. Emily was, well, not.
"I could never pull that off." Emily gasped.
"Ever tried?" Angie smirked and saw how Emily failed to give her a reply. "See? Don't knock it until you try it."
"It's not a fair comparison. You'd look amazing in anything!" Emily whined just a tiny little bit.
Angela was gorgeous and there was no question about it.
"Got it from my Momma." Angie smirked. She loved the good genes she had been given at birth. She also never really liked to think or talk about that part of her life.
"Come on, we are wasting valuable time. Drive! We need to treat ourselves with some amazing French pastry and then we need to go get you new clothes!" Angie urged her to go.
"Well, there is a certain satisfaction that only a French can give you…" Emily said, more to herself.
"Huh?" Angie questioned, but Emily was so damn busy looking at the side mirror.
"Pastry, I mean." Emily added innocently.
"Oh, my God! That man you were trying to figure out all week long. He's French, isn't he? Oh, wow. Oh, girl…wow, you're in for some gooooooood time." Angie said cheekily.
"Alright, exactly how many French men have you had a 'goooooood' time with, young lady?" Emily scolded her, imitating the way Angie had said the word 'good'.
"Whose asking?" Angie smirked. Her private business was nobody else's business.
Emily gave her a stern look.
"Fine. None!" Angie frowned. "Not for the lack of trying, though. I mean, Gosh, some of them were just so damn hot."
"But…?"
"But I never really wanted to do anything more than to fool around and then dump them. Guess it's how I roll."
"Good. Keep it that way." Emily could not help but come off protective.
"You realize I'm not going to be sweet and innocent for the rest of my life, right?" Angie pouted.
"Not that you are sweet and innocent now…" Emily threw that in, just for the record. "But under that specific aspect, you should remain innocent until you actually want to be with someone, worthy of you."
"Well, yeah, can't argue with that. And don't worry, I'm not like most girls. Guys are the last thing on my long list of desires. In fact, I shall say I am not entirely sure if they are even on that list."
Emily shot her a glance after that statement.
"That is not to say that girls are." Angie sighed. "Been there, tried that, no thank you."
"Tried what exactly?" Emily was now pale and speechless. Not because of what that hint might suggest – Emily would be perfectly fine with it; but because she had not expected that, at all. She just liked to believe she could profile the crap out of this girl, like there was nothing she could say or do to surprise her. And this would be a surprise.
The way Angie spoke sometimes made it sound like something huge had happened.
"Again – whose asking?" Angie smirked. "Relax. I'm not a sex-crazed individual and quite frankly, I don't think I ever will be, not with everything that-…"
Angie cut herself off and remained silent for a whole minute.
So did Emily, because the mere thing that this girl's words were suggesting was not something Emily was okay with. Had something happened to her?
Angie then trailed her left hand index finger against the dainty little ring on her right hand and she sighed one more time.
"Hey, if you ever need any advice…" Emily offered.
She knew what it felt like – to be young, pure and naïve, with nobody to talk to, when it came to these things. She also remembered where this had brought her, at the tender age of fifteen. She'd be damned if Angela turned out to be anything like her!
"I know. I'll come to you. I promise." Angie nodded and let Emily drive, without hitting her with any more grandiose statements.
"You can't park here. It says it's reserved." Angie pointed out when, five minutes of silence later, they reached the parking lot of the Mall.
"Sweet government plates, you know?" Emily smirked.
For a big shopping center, it sure had a tiny parking lot, which was weirdly crowded, for a Monday morning. So, Emily had no other choice.
"Gosh, I really want to be you!" Angie stated enthusiastically and it made Emily smile.
It was a compliment, for sure.
She remembered her first interactions with Angela Hunter. During her Welcome Speech at the Academy, Angie had been the only one seemingly unmoved. In fact, she had been the only one to yawn and roll her eyes during that undeniably amazing part of Emily's speech, where she told everyone how her team was her family.
Then, after the BAU hearing, Emily had received the cold shoulder from her, twice, and she was sure that the only reason the girl had come out for drinks that one night had been because the Trainees, namely Bryan, had dragged her to the bar for some free booze.
Everything had been…strained. Like a bad relationship. And then, with time, things had gotten better. They had gotten to know each other and the introverted and secretive Angela Hunter had started sharing things with the curious and protective Emily Prentiss.
"Food first?" Emily suggested.
"Food will always come first!" Angie spoke, already walking towards the French pastry shop. That girl sure had an appetite.
Angie saw the same elderly man from before and she walked over to the counter to greet him. He seemed happy to see her back, he remembered how polite she had been the last time, so he offered both of them any drink of their choice.
"Oh, how about a French 75?" Angie exclaimed, checking out the menu and finding her favorite cocktail on it.
"I don't think he meant to offer us alcohol at half past eight in the morning." Emily had to crush her enthusiasm.
"Alcohol? Pff, please. Barely!" Angie then thought of her times as a bartender at that nasty bar she had told Rossi about.
"2 ounces Champagne, 1/2 ounces lemon juice, 1 ounce gin, 2 dashes simple syrup." She added, hoping she was remembering it well.
"Oh yeah, practically water." Emily rolled her eyes, clearly being sarcastic.
"See? So, two French 75?" Angie smiled, acting dumb, just to see if it will work.
"Young lady, it's not happening, okay?" Emily stopped her.
"Ok. Uh, then just one French 75?" It really would not hurt trying, yet one more time.
Emily shook her head, as if she was scolding Angie with that gesture.
The waitress walked to their table and Angie was not happy with her final drink order.
"Café Crème, s'il vous plait, Madame." She ordered for herself and Emily doubled that order.
They took their time to choose their pastry and, unfortunately, Angie's favorite cake was not being offered that day.
"It's okay. We'll always have next Monday morning. And the next one…" Emily stated and it felt good to say that.
Angie needed to hear that - a confirmation that someone was now willing to be there for her, in the long run.
"Paris-Brest for me, please." Angie added to her order, choosing a French dessert, made of choux pastry and a praline flavored cream.
"Gâteau Basque for me, thank you." Emily ordered as well.
"Oh, that sounds good!" Angie commented.
"You can have some of mine. I don't mind sharing." Emily informed her, but somehow she felt like Angie wanted more.
"Actually, can we also have a Gâteau St. Honoré as well?" Emily added and the waitress put that down on her piece of paper.
"A ring of caramel-coated cream puffs arranged on top of a puff pastry disc…" Angie said dreamily, trying to remember when was the last time she had eaten this delicacy.
"And a mix of Petit Fours, too." Emily added one more thing.
She had seen Angie eye those small pieces of pound cake, with different colored icings and flavors, the last time they had been there.
"Okay, would you like to move to a bigger table? Are you expecting two more people?" The waitress was now confused.
As soon as they had walked in, they had headed off to their favorite table - the small one, for just two people. And now they ended up ordering sweets for at least four people to share.
"Nope. It's just the two of us and we are fine this way." Emily's words would echo in Angie's mind for the longest time after she had said them.
Just the two of them…and they were fine that way.
Angie looked out the window dreamily. That statement sure had a really nice ring to it.
"Thank you so much. I know this is expensive and I appreciate everything you've done for me. Really, I do." Angie whispered, somehow a bit shy to just come out and say something like that.
"I once told you there isn't anything in life I wouldn't do for you. And I intend on making good on that promise." Emily smiled and eventually so did Angie.
"Now back to that hot ass French boyfriend…" Angie changed topic, because it really wouldn't be her if she just dropped it, without giving Emily a hard time about this unknown man.
"He's not my boyfriend!" Emily said defensively.
"Whatever you call him, he better treat you right and make you happy. Otherwise I'm coming for him! And I can be quite scary!" Angie put her hands in fists dramatically.
"Well, you did manage to get a Bureau Section Chief fired, in your third week of the Academy. So, I guess, nobody shall mess with you." With one hand Emily swiftly unbuttoned the top button of her smart shirt. If not because of what Angie had told her earlier, then because it was quite hot inside the pastry shop.
"No, that was me playing dumb and getting my way. Trust me, you don't want to see Angela Hunter pissed off, like, for real." She said with a smirk.
"I really do, actually. I think she would be hilarious. I can already imagine her scratching a huge guy's face out with those perfect acrylic nails." Emily could not stop laughing.
"Oh, this reminds me – nail check?" Angie requested, placing her hands on the table expectantly.
Emily blushed.
"I said – nail check! And you better not have bit those off!"
Emily caved in and put her hands on top of Angie's.
"Wow, I can't believe you stayed true to your promise not to ruin the acrylics!" Angie was surprised to see how neat Emily's nails still looked, from over a week ago when they did them together, in New York.
"Like I said, I take my promises to you very seriously." Emily retrieved her hands, making space for the two coffees that were now being served to their table.
"You two are so cute. You remind me of my daughter and her youngest daughter. They live in Chicago now, haven't seen them in a while." The elderly man had insisted on serving their coffee personally, since he was the one to have offered it to them. And he was just so sweet and genuine.
"She's actually my future boss." This time, Angie hurried to point out where their relationship stood.
She remembered how upset Emily had been after all the pretending in the hair salon in New York. And quite frankly, Angie wanted to avoid yet another heated emotional conversation with that woman.
"And thank you for the coffee, Sir. Very kind of you." Angie added before the man walked away.
"Angela…" Emily started, clearly intending on crushing her BAU dreams yet one more time.
"Shh." Angie said silently. "I get what I want and if it can't happen this year, I'll try again next year. And then the next one. And I will keep trying until the time is right and until I get what I've wanted since I was eight years old."
"But there was no BAU when you were eight years old…" Emily countered, but then, thinking of it, she realized something.
"Actually, yes there was. The BAU was established exactly then. How did you know about it?" Emily questioned.
"That's a conversation we will be having much later on, Emily." Angie bit her bottom lip.
"But-…"
"I'm not ready." Angie cut off Emily's attempt to snoop for information.
"All you need to know is that at eight years old I knew I was going to join the FBI when I grew up. And every single day after that, I've worked my ass off, to meet that goal. So, yeah, people can call me a nerd and an overachiever and they can certainly hate me for appearing to be so perfect at most subjects, but they don't know the endless nights I've spent, with books in my lap, falling asleep just to wake up in the middle of the night again and to continue reading about serial killers and whatnot. They don't know the tremendous amount of physical preparation I've had since I was a child. They don't know…well, everything else I've done, just to get here…" Angie trailed off, as if she was hinting at something less than pleasant.
"You don't have to be ashamed of anything you've ever done in life, okay? Let people judge. They better judge you for being nearly perfect, than for being a failure, am I right?" Emily's advice, as usual, was spot on.
"Yeah." Angie nodded, forcing a small smile on her lips. "They can also kiss my ass, quite frankly! It just really sucks that all of my efforts cannot be rewarded. And I know this sounds extremely stuck up and entitled of me, but I also know what I deserve and I know I deserve what I want. I made damn sure I deserved it. I never take anything for granted. But then, nothing in my life ever came easily, so I guess I'm just gonna have to suck it up and wait for the next round of the Academy."
"Woah, are you quitting on us now?" To Emily, that statement came out of nowhere.
"Honestly? I've been thinking about it. I loved it at first, but now that I feel like I have absolutely nothing to gain, I just don't think I should waste anyone's time and financial resources by being here." Angie shrugged.
She had been toying with the idea of leaving the Academy for a while now, but it wasn't until she finished her Mini week with Prentiss that this idea turned into an obsession.
"No. You can't leave. They will never let you back for the next run, if you leave. Come on, don't be stupid." Emily was in full on panic mode.
"What will you do? Where will you go? How will you provide for yourself?" She kept on asking.
"I can always go back to Europe. I have trusted people there, I can stay with them. And I also had a stable job, so I can always go back to it." Angie spoke, but she didn't sound too enthusiastic.
"No, you're not going back to that." Emily cringed, just at the thought of it, even if Angie had never mentioned what her job had been and how her life was, before the Academy.
"Well, sometimes in life we are faced with choices we don't fully like or approve of, but we have to make a decision anyway." Angie tried to sound mature with this, even if she just wanted to sit on the floor and throw the biggest hissy fit of all times, because of her obsession with the BAU.
"Are you serious about quitting the Academy?" Emily raised an eyebrow. She was really good at calling a bluff and somehow, with Angela, she was seeing no signs of that.
"Yes, I am." Angie confirmed.
"All because you can't get what you came here for?"
"All because right now the Bureau cannot offer me what I've worked so hard for, my entire life." Angie re-phrased Emily's words, but yes, pretty much it was the same thing.
"Please, promise me one thing? You won't make that decision for another week, okay? Let's talk about it next Monday, at breakfast. Give yourself some time to think it through." Emily pleaded, but mostly, what was on her mind and what remained unspoken was: Please, give me another week to go around, begging everyone I know, to give you a chance, the chance I know you deserve!
Angie shrugged again. She had been doing that a lot and to Emily that screamed insecurity.
"Please, don't leave…" Emily leaned over the table and her voice came off weak as she whispered to her.
"The last time I begged someone to not leave, this is exactly what they did." Angie said, a bit stand-offish.
"And I am sure they will regret that until the day they die. But, think about the way that made you feel. And think of the kind of person you are, Angela. Do you really want to cause someone the pain you've been caused?"
Damn it, Angie hated how good Emily was with her words. Usually, in social situations, it was always Angela who was the sweet-talker, the one with the silver tongue. But Emily Prentiss deserved a damn prize for that.
"Fine, I'll walk around the Campus aimlessly for one more week and pretend like I don't hate every second of it…" She finally caved in.
She had grown to hate the Academy, ever since she came back from New York, where she had been given a taste of what she wanted to do in life. What was the point of working hard, for something that would surely not be yours anyway? Angie was not a quitter, but she was also not a fool who would waste her time, chasing a dream that stood no chance.
"I'm sorry to hear you feel this way. I wanted you to have a fun experience at the Academy, meet friends, learn new things. But, at the same time, I know how it feels to be stuck between two worlds…unable to choose either one of them, because that choice would ultimately hurt people that you love. And yourself, as well. And no mater what you choose, it would never be the right choice and you will never get the peace of mind you were searching for. Stuck between two worlds, unable to choose the best of each world and create a new one, a third one, with everything and everyone you love, in it. Now, that really sucks."
Angie was looking down at the table as Emily spoke. She could relate to all of it. She understood Emily's pain perfectly.
Their sweet treats arrived and allowed for a change of mood at the table.
Those two had a way of starting a heated conversation and then dropping it and continuing with their day as if nothing had happened. It was not normal. People did not live that way. Nobody was able to be so emotional and vulnerable one second and then so calm and collected, the next. And yet, to Angie and Emily, it came natural, as if they were two equals, two of a kind.
"God, I love French pastry so damn much!" Angela exclaimed at some point, right after having silently destroyed every last bit of everything that Emily had ordered for them.
Emily just smiled, looking at Angela who seemed happy, relaxed, she seemed in her element.
"You still have all those macaroons in your bag…" Emily reminded her.
"Yup, I sure do! I will share them with Bry-Bry tonight, for our late night study session. I have to pretend like I'm only just starting to learn about whatever it is that we need to know for our training tomorrow." Angie could not help but roll her eyes.
"Are you not learning anything new at the Academy?"
"Well, I am. Actually, a lot of the stuff is new, especially the procedural stuff. The FBI sure likes to do things legally…" Angie rolled her eyes one more time.
"I'm afraid they do." Emily suppressed a smirk. She, much like Angie, had not been a fan of the legal restrictions when she had first joined the Bureau, years ago.
"Well, whatever. I just have to sit through one more week and then I'm done." Angie consoled herself, keeping in mind the promise she had made to Emily a few minutes ago.
"Not if I can do anything about it!" Emily thought to herself while keeping a cool and neutral look on the outside.
She pulled her credit card out of her wallet and waited for the waitress to bring them the bill. And that reminded her of something.
"Still tight with cash?" She asked casually.
"Yeah. But I really don't need it. I only use food coupons and then my coffee and sweets I steal from the Executive Lounge. God, Ben just loooves seeing me there." She chuckled.
"Ben's quite a fan of yours, if I shall say so." Emily pointed out.
She knew that at the beginning of this wild ride, Ben had nothing but reservations when it came to Angela. But, somewhere along the way, and maybe it was the day of the BAU Hearing, he had started to warm up to her.
"Would it be okay if I gave you some food coupons?" She suggested hesitantly, knowing that Angela was a girl who'd work hard for what she had, so she was expecting her to shoot her down instantly.
To her surprise, Angie just nodded. She had been tight with coupons lately. She often found herself choosing to skip on either lunch of dinner, so they would last her for longer.
"Alright, off to do some damage now. Are you with me?" Emily raised an eyebrow, wanting nothing more than to empty out her credit card at the Mall.
"Always with you!" Angie stood up and seemed really excited. Apparently, she loved shopping.
After Emily paid their abundant breakfast, they walked out and headed to the floor where the more sophisticated brands were.
"Don't you even dare!" Angie scolded Emily, the second she saw her eyes checking out a nun-like two-piece smart suit.
"What? It's nice…" Emily shrugged, now doubting her life, her choices, her style and everything she had ever known.
"You're not nice!" Angie's words perplexed Emily, until she elaborated on that statement.
"You're a Boss Lady. You kick ass, literally. You have a banging body and a hot French boyfriend. There is no way in Hell Emily Prentiss would settle for 'nice'. No! Eww!" Angie grabbed her hand and dragged her inside of the shop, opposite of the one Emily had eyed.
"Nothing but the best, for the best!" She continued speaking, now scanning all the items that interested her.
"This…and this…and oh my God, that! Wow!" Angie kept on choosing things and throwing them behind her back.
Emily had the reflexes to catch them, she wasn't worried about that. What her mind was busy analyzing instead was the fact that Angela was a walking compliment machine, a human-shaped confidence booster and Emily wanted her right by her side, now and later and the next day and then next week and then forever, possibly.
"Jesus, woah, that…unbuttoned…oh yumm!" Angie picked out a very daring shirt – looked smart, but could definitely be playful if not properly buttoned up.
"You also need a statement bra." She added.
"What on Earth is a 'statement bra'?" Emily finally spoke up. She had heard of statement jewelry, but never a bra.
"I'm not surprised you have no idea." Angie sighed. "French guys like a certain type of lingerie. Lots of lace happening. Yup. But there's always Victoria's Secret for it. It's on the second floor, we'll go after."
"No, that's a shop for teenagers…" Emily countered.
"And what type of body do you think you have, Emily?" Angie looked her up and down.
Emily did not look a day over twenty-five, if one had to only judge her body. She was flawless, for someone her age.
"Come on. It's 'Try On' time!" Angie urged her, picking out the last changing room down the hall, not surprisingly, the most secluded place of all. She had a thing for hiding, for having her own space, away from everyone else, and Emily had definitely noticed that, a while ago.
When Emily walked out, wearing the first outfit, Angie clapped her hands approvingly.
"Exquis, madame! Incroyable!" She complimented her in French.
"Well, this was the most conservative one…" Emily muttered to herself, afraid of how she might look with the other outfits on.
Second showcase was a dress in dark green color. Emily was not a fan of green, typically, but this dress made her appreciate it. And it fit her perfectly.
"Okay, someone call the Fire Department!" Angie called out before she started chuckling.
"On fire, Emily! On-freaking-fire!" She added, clapping her hands contently and also quite loudly.
Emily rolled her eyes. Angie was like her own cheerleader – always there to make her feel good about herself. She only wished that this 'always' could last 'forever'.
"Okay, no. And I refuse to even let you see me in this! No, no and no. Just no! Okay?" Emily shook her head, scandalized as she was later checking herself out in the huge mirror inside the changing room, now wearing the next clothing item.
Unluckily for her, the changing room had curtains, not a door, so Angie's head poked through the curtains in two seconds. Like Hell, she wouldn't miss out getting to see Emily rock her favorite look, of all three.
"Daaaaaaamn!" Angie gasped.
"NO!" Emily kept on shaking her head. Was it denial or was it refusal?
"Yes! Like, Hell yes! Yes!" Angie smiled, now completely invading Emily's private space in the changing room and taking a good look from all sides. It wasn't like Emily was naked, so it was okay.
"Stop with the buttons!" She frowned, forcing Emily to unbutton the top one right after she had buttoned it up. And then she gave her an icy cold stare until Emily unbuttoned the second one, too. Then the stare continued.
"No, okay? Two is middle grounds! It's compromise enough. Shut up and be happy with it, okay? I'm not budging!" Emily stated, but she was kind of intrigued to see herself in a little more…daring light.
"Fine, as long as that third one pops open when you're with Frenchie!" Angie licked her bottom lip and received a slap on the shoulder for it.
"Oh, keep ignoring it. I'll keep dropping the bomb. You know I will!" She knew that Emily was not keen on talking about it and truthfully, it was none of Angela's business. But she also knew she'd tease the crap out of this woman until she'd share something. Anything.
"Oh, I know you will." Emily sighed, fixing her hair with one hand. She really did like what she saw in that mirror, as inappropriate as it might be for work.
"Ok, that's a 'Yes' to all three outfits and that's a 'Great Job, Angela!' for your personal stylist for the day. Why, thank you very much, Madam!" Angie, as usual, dramatized the situation and acted like a Diva stylist. She loved being a character and Emily let her have it her way.
Reaching the cashiers, Angie was surprised to meet no resistance on Emily's side. She had quietly purchased all three outfits, even the daring last one, without trying to make Angie's life miserable. Did Emily Prentiss like them, like…really really like them? Angie felt so proud.
"Ok, next!" Angie scanned for more cool shops around them, but it was now Emily's turn to grab her hand and walk her to a place she liked.
"No offense, but this really is teenager stuff…" Angie looked around the shop that Emily had chosen. It had amazing things, but a little more colorful than what a Unit Chief can pull off.
Emily just gave Angela a look.
A whole long minute later, Angie got it.
"Who? Me? That? Oh, no!" She was scandalized.
Emily was now choosing the shortest dresses, handing them to Angie, who was about to protest some more before she laid her hands on a beautiful sequin dress that she had absolutely no place or formal excuse to wear, but she really wanted to own it anyway.
"Ugh, fiiiiine!" She said, sounding much like a teenager.
She did not mind having to try those dresses.
At all.
"Yeah…no." Emily cringed when Angela walked out with the first dress on.
"You chose it!" Angie frowned.
"You are way too tall for this mini dress. I guess I didn't count your height in. Turn around…" Emily asked and then her worst fears were confirmed.
"Nope. No way!" She kept on cringing.
"Well, it fits me well and I like the color…" Angie teased. The truth was, she thought she looked like a hooker, in that thing.
"I could see your butt if you lean just an inch more. So, no!" Emily stated, and it sounded final.
Angie then took the dress off with pleasure. She really was not a fan of it either. And yes, it was way too short on her.
When she walked out with the second option, Emily was a little more inclined on giving it a chance.
Angie made a little twirl, as the dress was flowy on the bottom. Very princess-like. It was pastel pink, with some subtle cream decorations on it.
"You look fourteen again." Emily smiled, her eyes looked dreamy, full of life.
"I feel fourteen again." Angie smiled back, a little more reserved.
"I swear to God, you sometimes also act like you're fourteen." Emily then laughed.
"Mind you, I was an angel when I was fourteen!" Angie's sweet innocent puppy eyes came out to play.
"Mhm, I bet…" Emily could not be fooled. This girl had surely never been an angel. And she was perfect, just the way she was, in all of her sweet devilish ways.
Angie allowed herself another minute or two, to enjoy this dress, before she tried on the third and last option she had.
"Okay, you look like a Hollywood Diva!" Emily's jaw dropped when she saw her.
Angie looked flawless. Her hair was a mess after training, she barely had anything on her face, other than waterproof mascara and some lipstick, and yet she looked like she was rolling down a red carpet event. She looked stunning, even barefoot, with this glittery dress. It was so over the top, so pretentious, so insanely sparkly and eye-catching and yet, so perfect for her.
"Can you take a photo of me and send it to Bryan, please?" Angie asked.
"Sure. But the next shop we're going to is where you'll walk out, holding a phone of your own and there will be no objections." Emily said while snapping a photo.
"I don't need a phon-…"
"No objections!" Emily repeated and let Angie text Bryan from her phone.
Bryan did not reply. Unlike Angie, who was living her best life, he was living his worst nightmare at PFT that morning. It was more than intense and he was kind of glad that Angela was not there, because he knew she would have pushed herself way too hard to impress the trainer and she would have drained all of her energy during training.
"Actually…" Emily then had a better idea.
"Garcia, hi." She said after dialing a number. "Do we still have that Bureau phone in plus? I want to give that to Angela. Would that be alright?"
Emily kept on nodding while listening to Garcia's answer.
"Perfect. Thank you. I will see all of you, guys, at ten today. Or half past ten. Yeah." She said before she hung up.
"Garcia says hi and she insists that I drag you back to the BAU." Emily referred to Angie.
"Oh, I wouldn't need to be dragged if I'm already willing to run there myself." Angie smirked. It used to be weird to admit her Bureau goals, but with Emily, it felt comfortable. It felt…right.
"Ok take that off. It's hurting my eyes." Emily laughed at Angela who looked like a ray of sunshine under the bright lights in the changing room, wearing all that glitter.
"This is exactly what I'd picture myself wearing for Graduation." She commented silently, unable to take her eyes off her own reflection, in the mirror.
"So, you still want to have that Graduation, huh?" Emily smirked. Just minutes ago this girl had told her she was ready to drop the Academy.
"It's all I've dreamed of since I was eight. You don't understand. I don't just want to graduate. I need to! I have to! I must do right by them…"
"Them?" Emily interrupted her. So far she thought Angela was doing this for herself, but her words now painted a different picture.
"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Angie shrugged and disappeared inside the changing room before the mood would shift back to negative.
"No problem." Emily whispered back.
A minute later Angie walked out, with the three dresses hanging on their respectful hangers, as she was about to leave them at the counter.
"Oh, no. We're buying those." Emily stated. "Not the first one, though." She was quick to add.
"I don't need dresses. I already have the white one and the two other ones you bought me last time. My life is not the kind of life that requires me to dress like that." Angie frowned.
"I don't care what you say. I'm buying you those dresses whether you need them or not." Sometimes there was no arguing with Emily, so Angie let her pay for them. She was glad to find out that they were not too expensive. That made her feel so much better.
As they walked around the Mall, Emily tried to block a certain shop out of Angie's eyesight.
"Oh yey!" Angie said contently, having spotted it anyway.
"Oh, God…here we go…" Emily then found herself having to make a small run after the girl who was already inside that lingerie store.
"That looks about your size…" Angie tossed a very odd combination of lace and fabric, to Emily. The tag on it said it was a bra, but one would have a very hard time figuring out all the straps, in order for it to look like one, when put on.
"This is huge!" Emily raised an eyebrow.
Angie pursed her lips, trying to refrain from telling Emily that she was not exactly flat-chested.
"Point taken." Emily gave up and tried to hold the item in a very discrete way, feeling a bit self-conscious to be seen at that shop, holding that item.
"And he'd also enjoy this…" Angie picked out a different one. This one was more traditional looking, if one wouldn't pay much attention to its devilish red color and the little black hearts that were placed at a very specific height, at the front.
"Angela…" Emily tried to sound scolding, but she cracked up laughing anyway.
"Are you kidding me!?" Angie's jaw dropped when she reached the section of newly arrived items. They had a wide selection of flag-themed two pieces. She saw Brazil, Italy, Spain, UK…and then she saw the one…
"C'est tellement beau!" She squealed, picking out the French flagged two-piece underwear, in Emily's size.
"Why am I being punished right now!?" Emily tilted her head upwards, having a full on conversation with God now.
"Front closure? We likey-likey!" Angie teased. She loved seeing Emily feel so uncomfortable.
"Well, it's handy, that's as much as I'm willing to comment on that…" Emily smirked.
If she was forced to go through this nerve-wracking experience with Angela, at least she could loosen up and allow herself to enjoy it. Why the Hell not?
"Mhm. He'll love it! I mean, come on…" Her hand trailed against the French flag on the top piece. It was a bralette-style top, naturally, with lots of lace.
"God, please tell me the changing rooms have doors…with keys…that actually work!?" Emily kept on praying, on her way to try these options out.
It was one thing to let Angela see her fully dressed earlier, but these items would barely be covering anything, so she'd rather have some privacy. Unless it was Richard, who wanted to see them. She smiled, remembering their week in France and how awfully patient he had been with her, during all of the shopping she did. And that little moment they shared in the bathing suit shop's changing room…
"I bet you're thinking about him!" Angie called out.
Apparently, even sitting outside of a changing room that did end up having a door with a key, she was still perfectly able to be a pain in Emily's existence.
She took Emily's silence as a form of admitting defeat.
"Send him a photo!" Angie continued.
"Jesus, no!" Emily finally spoke up.
"Come on. Why not? He'd love it. French guys love photos of girls in lingerie…"
"If you don't stop saying things like that, I'm assigning a protective detail to follow you around 24/7, for the rest of your life!" Emily was cringing so hard. Angie always hinted to inappropriate things.
"Oooh, can he be French?" Angie laughed. "A tough, big French guy, with muscles…and oh mon Dieu, a gun. Maybe some handcuffs, too. Yes, please!"
Emily was triggered. Not that she'd admit it, but Angela had just described everything that Emily could possibly ever find attractive in a man. And up to some extent, she had also described Richard, too.
And then Angie heard it – the sound that left no doubt as to what Emily was doing inside the changing room.
"Crap!" Emily could not believe she was the idiot who forgot to switch the sound off first.
"Did you just snap a photo!?" Angie banged her hands against the door.
"Uh…no…" Emily laughed at herself, quietly. Yes, she was an idiot.
"In the French two piece?" Angie continued with the questions.
"Yeah…" Emily said hesitantly.
"Oh, boy…"
"Zip it!"
"I'm just saying…"
"Angela, zip it right this second! Just…shut up!"
She did not dare utter another word. She did, however, keep a smug smirk on her face, long after Emily had exited the changing room. She also did not dare ask if Emily would be buying any of the items – she already knew Emily Prentiss to be prude enough to discard all three options.
"Would you be purchasing any of the items, Miss?" The changing room clerk asked Emily before she could walk out of the area.
Emily put the first option on the counter, but held options two and three in her hands.
"Not the right fit?" The clerk asked with a smile, putting the one item away.
"Too tight." Emily admitted, noticing how Angie's smirk grew even wider after she heard it.
"It's huge, Angela. It's huge!" Angie teased, throwing Emily's words back at her, in a dramatic tone, with air quotes as she spoke.
"Okay, fine. You heard it – the damn thing was way too tight. And it would take me an hour to put it on. Too much hassle. Ugh!" Emily groaned.
"Wouldn't it be worth it when it takes him just mere seconds to take it off?" Angie did the damn thing again, licking her lips.
"Stop it. Jesus Christ, girl! You are something else!" Emily felt her cheeks blushing. It was weird enough that she had to admit that she liked two out of three options, at that store, but now she had to listen to her very own cheerleader yapping about it all day long? No, thank you.
"What's his name?" Angie asked, walking by Emily's side, now both of them holding bags.
Emily had the bag with the clothes and a bag with the underwear, while Angie only had a smaller bag with her two new dresses.
"Frenchie is good. Let's call him Frenchie, shall we?" Emily suggested, remembering what Angie had called him earlier.
"So, no French Papi?" Angie frowned. "Oh, I have a good one – how about French-…"
Emily put her hand on Angela's mouth before her poor heart would have to suffer after hearing whatever it was that the girl was about to say.
"Frenchie is good!" Emily reinforced.
"Why don't you want to talk about him?" Screw acting like a fourteen year old. Emily was now sure she was walking with a very curious five year old child by her side. A child with a very messed up, inappropriate mind and a filthy mouth, at that.
She did not reply.
"Are you afraid that by admitting it out loud, it would somehow mess things up?"
Oh, Angie's words hit the right spot.
Emily found a quiet corner and sat down for a second.
"If that's the case – I get it." Angie sat down beside her.
"Many times I've felt like if I let myself believe something was real and, especially if I say it out loud to other people, then it would somehow…I dunno…disappear. And I know it sounds really stupid. It makes no sense. But that's how I sometimes feel about things…and people. And I can't help it." Angie spoke with a soft, comforting smile.
Emily was looking at her, the entire time.
"So, yeah, if that's how you feel and if you find that to be weird, just know that you're not alone. To a lot of people this would be ridiculous, but to others – like me for example, it sounds normal. I get it. I've been through it. I'm actually going through it right now." Angie fiddled with her bag, suddenly avoiding eye contact.
"How so?" Emily asked.
"You're the profiler. You tell me." Of course she'd challenge Emily. She'd be crazy to give her a straightforward answer. She never had.
"Well, I think there might be something, or someone, that you really want. And after what you just said to me, I feel like you're afraid to speak up because you think that the second you say it, it would disappear. Almost like it's a fantasy you're living in and you feel like words would only ruin the whole experience for you." It was now Emily's turn to hit the right spot with her words.
"I just don't want to ruin it, you know?" Angie's voice came out weak.
"Oh, sweetheart, I do know. Trust me. I know. I've just been through it, myself. And you know what? That person you're teasing me about so mercilessly…well, I found the courage to not only let myself know that I wanted him, but to also let him know it, too. And guess what? I was prepared for it to crash and burn, like everything else in my life, because Emily Prentiss never gets what she wants. Ever!" She sighed. It was, sadly, true. "But guess what? I somehow forced myself to say it out loud, to be honest. And it turns out, I did the right thing. It was the right choice, at the right time, and it gave me the right outcome. So yeah, sometimes it's okay to play Russian roulette with those feelings we are having. Sometimes it's okay to let other people in. Sometimes it's okay to admit what we want. We might as well end up receiving it, in the end."
"So, you're happy now?" Angie lifted her head up, only glancing at Emily briefly.
"Almost." Emily's words confused Angie. Wasn't she just raving about her new French boyfriend or was Angela hearing things?
"Let's just say I'll only be completely happy the day you decide to be honest with yourself, with me and with everyone else. And yes, I know this is none of my business, but I just cannot stand seeing you like this, with that forced little smile, hating every second of the Academy, tearing yourself apart because you know it is impossible to be part of my team…"
Emily's hand was quick to grab Angie's chin as Angie looked down to the floor.
"Look at me, Angela Hunter." Emily pleaded. "I believe it is time for you to have the courage to be brave enough to admit to certain things."
"I don't want to ruin it all…" Angie hated that her chin was quivering, Emily would have definitely felt that as her hand was still on it.
"Ruin what? You are living in a fantasy and yes, it is nice and all, but it is hurting you and I can see it." Emily saw Angie try to open her mouth, but she continued speaking before the girl would say a word.
"I know it. I've been you, Angela. I've been Lauren and I've been Catherine and I've been Jennifer, Melissa, Joanne, Penny, Samantha…" Emily rolled her eyes. Those names barely touched base with everyone she had ever had to pretend to be, in her lifetime.
"And I've lived a fairytale too. A fake life. Each time, starting not from birth, but from the push of a Reset button. And it was awesome, in the beginning. Each time I was a different person, I got to do different things, act different ways. Yeah, until one day I started questioning who I really was? Was I still Emily or was I a big mesh of all of those other women? Why did I enjoy doing the things they were enjoying? Why did lies and manipulation come so easy for me? Until that one day, something happened and I could not help but like who I was. I started a new fairytale, one that screwed me up in ways you wouldn't even imagine. I was someone else and I loved everything about her. It was either that, or die. And I chose life, so I chose to believe that I liked the new me. I chose to forget the old me and to build a life as her, instead. I chose to force myself to fall…uh, for a man who…I uh…"
Angie could tell this was hard for Emily to discuss. She could also tell she had never really spoken those words out loud before. So she did not dare interrupt.
"A man who ruined my life. A man who killed me, twice. But it wasn't him who killed me, it was what happened after him. It was what having him in my life had done to me…and what it made me do, to other people…innocent people…people that I truly loved…and people that I will love until the last breath I take."
Angie held out her hand and held Emily's. Usually, they'd both contribute to their emotional exchanges, but this time Emily had to be the only one talking. She needed to get that off her chest.
"You know, I've never told anyone about certain things…exactly because of that…because I felt like, if I spoke up, it would ruin the fantasy I was living in. Like, somehow it wouldn't be true anymore. So yeah, I understand why you are so terrified to say it, because I am, too. It would change things. It would change everything…"
Emily gave herself a second, to get a hold of her breathing.
"But trust me, living in denial and living in a fantasy is not living at all. It's a nightmare. Because, at some point, you'll wake up and ask yourself: am I me? Or am I her?" Emily now needed water, desperately. She felt like she was going to pass out.
"They used to call me Lauren. I used to call myself Lauren for a while after that fiasco was over. You know why?" She gulped, her throat was dry. "Because, through all the horrible things Lauren had to do, she also created something beautiful, something she was proud of, something that Emily Prentiss could only dream of having in her life."
"Are you saying you want it in your life?" Angie raised an eyebrow, finally speaking up.
"I am. Yes. I, Emily Prentiss, am telling you, Angela Hunter, that I want to have what Lauren Reynolds once had."
Angie nodded and remained quiet, just thinking about this woman's words.
"I'm not ready…" Angie whispered quietly.
"We are never ready, my dear." Emily smiled brightly, it was a cute gesture. "I'm certainly not ready to be falling in love with a man who lives across the Globe. But it happened. And we'll see how that goes. But none of it would have been possible, had I not opened up and said it out loud."
"I'm not ready…" Angie repeated, looking sad and upset.
At this point, Emily knew that it wasn't like Angela was not ready to face her inner daemons. She was scared to do so.
"Whenever you're ready…" Emily gave her a warm hug and sighed with relief when Angela didn't hesitate to wrap her hands around her.
REVIEW REPLIES:
"rmpcmfan" Emily is diving right into this relationship, trusting her gut and trusting her heart, for once. Do we hope she wont get burnt? Yes, we do. Lol! Yes, she wants to take it slow, so she wouldn't burn out this relationship, like any other she had ever been into. She's terrified of being intimate with him right away, or of taking steps that are too big, which is why she only hopped continents to have this talk and she needed to be back home right away. She needs to fully comprehend what is going on, now that she learned he also wants to be in this relationship. This, however, does not mean she is afraid to give it a try! On the contrary - it scares her and it is unconventional, but she is in with her whole heart. She is NOT looking for games and mystery. She wants this to be real, whatever that means, since she's spent her life hating 'love' and 'relationships'. But she is done playing games - this much I can assure you of :)! You'll read a lot about her inner thoughts in the next chapters and you'll understand her 'fear' when it comes to a relationship. But she is willing to do the work, so to get the reward :)! Also YES, there might be some future chapter/s rated M, lol. As for waiting to learn the truth - it wouldn't be fun if drama didn't occur, right? :P She will wait just long enough and then BOOM...things will happen. You just wait for it, okay? :D
"sweetkid45" Richard's job is 'connected to' crime. But it may not be the way you think. There is a lot behind his character and both Emily and the readers will learn about him later on. However, Emily has a feeling he's a good guy, so for now this is enough for her and she trusts her heart. Will that bring her pain? I dunno...we shall see ;)! Oh Angie's wild 'BAU roller-coaster ride' is just beginning, lol!
