It's The Most Wonderful Time
The region they'd crossed paths with the merchant was indeed quite far from anywhere they needed to be. Aside from what little time they spent sleeping, they were on the move.
As single-mindedly focused on the road ahead of them as they were, the imp's words still rattled around in their brains. But still… there was the possibility that he hadn't even been talking about their parents, or them. And while that likelihood wasn't especially high given his level of specificity, it was certainly more believable.
Perhaps wild rumors were more common back in those days: sixteen, seventeen years ago, when tour carriages rolled through their front yard, a reality that was hard to imagine. Daily tabloids had to be filled with something, after all. Perhaps what that shopkeep told them was just a long-forgotten byproduct of that era.
The fact the merchant emphasized the contract had "worked, too" was the final nail in the tall tale's coffin. If that ogre's contract had rid him of his family, and the ogre in question was their father, then how were all of them along with their mother still very much present?
It was all so incredibly unbelievable to even think their father would have entertained such a ridiculous bargain. They couldn't think of a single thing enticing enough to have even begun to convince him… because there wasn't anything.
Right?
Right.
As the siblings trudged across the land, Fergus realized the merchant hadn't drawn the map quite as well-scaled as initially thought.
"We should be here," Felicia jabbed impatiently at the parchment.
"But we're actually here," Farkle poked, a good way closer to their starting point. "See, that mountain range is–" He looked up toward the real-life reference point not too far off.
"WHY are we so behind?" Felicia snapped at no one in particular.
"Because I messed up!" Fergus barked back at her. "Okay!?" He snatched the map off the ground where it lay, roughly rolling it up in his clenched fist. "I miscalculated how long getting here would take, from the…" he trailed off as he stomped off toward the mountains Farkle had cited moments before, not waiting for his two travel companions to follow.
As the days wore on, the further behind they realized they'd fallen. On the eve of Christmas Eve, it became clear that if they stopped to sleep for the night, they would arrive home sometime in the middle of the night early Christmas morning, at best. They therefore made the unideal decision to forgo camp, and travel through the night.
"What if we just stopped for like, an hour nap?" Fergus suggested, a subtle desperation in his voice.
"An hour will turn into eight," Felicia replied curtly.
"We'll lose all our momentum," Farkle finished. "We just gotta power through. C'mon." He pat Fergus's shoulder firmly, not exactly happy with the necessary conclusion himself, as he continued forward.
The siblings traveled on in relative silence - chatting would only slow them down, not to mention their bodies and minds were already past exhausted; the last thing they needed was another needless squabble.
Besides, what else was there to discuss? All they knew was what the merchant had told them. What good would mulling over the same bits of information do them except work themselves up? Over potentially nothing?
They'd just privately mull it over in their own heads, instead.
The sun rose behind the Christmas Eve morning clouds, reminding the triplets they'd traveled all throughout the night. They plowed through the vast cornfields outside of Duloc, allowing them a grab-and-go breakfast without breaking their stride.
The sun was shifting west overhead as the trio finally reached the edge of the ever-familiar forest in which the swamp lay. Fergus felt his knees want to give out, being so close to the finish, but he forced them to keep him upright as the three continued on.
The great trees of the forest were bare, save for blobs of half-melted snow among the branches. They continued through occasional patches of slush that gave way to large swaths of hard ground. The felled tree trunk had some snow on it, a favorite weapon to knock onto the head of whoever was lagging behind, but the three passed under it without a word, tired eyes set ahead.
Smoke puffing high from the tree trunk chimney came into view over the treetops as the familiar scent of home hit the ogres' olfactories.
They were hungry, exhausted, and a bit scattered, but they'd made it.
A modest few strings of multi-colored lights hung from the awning and chimney. A wreath of moss clods and pond scum adorned the front door. It wasn't as extravagant a decoration job as previous years, but the household had been short three extra hands this year, after all.
The siblings came to a stop where the forest ended and the courtyard began, a similar unease within them as there'd been months ago when they stood in the very same position. They paused a moment longer - perhaps waiting for a parent to poke their head out the door, perhaps just to catch their breath.
Weeks prior, they'd have thought their first return home would have found them more excited.
It was probably their exhaustion that the excitement didn't exactly surface. It would, though, after a moment to relax.
"We ready?" Felicia asked either brother off her shoulders.
"I'm ready for a hot meal," Farkle clarified with a light exhale.
"And then a nap," Fergus finished. "After that, we can ask–"
"Right," Felicia curtly finished his suggestion.
She hugged each brother into her by the shoulder, possessing neither the energy nor motivation to perform their full ritual. Farkle and Fergus let themselves lean into her quick squeeze, before regaining their footing.
As they crossed the empty courtyard, Farkle clumsily brushed a glob of snow off the arm that their three Beware! Ogres portraits hung from as he passed. He kept walking, but the snow he'd flicked only managed to fall from the arm to land on top of their painted faces.
The three reached the front door, not especially caring to be quiet, but it remained closed as they set foot on the planked entryway. Farkle reached out for the door's handle, but the rough curved wood evaded his fingers, flying back as the door was whisked open from within the home.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"
Two exuberant voices bounced off the house's walls as the siblings suddenly found themselves in the familiar embraces of their parents.
"Lookit what Ogre Claus brought us!" Shrek called, a son in each of his arms that he pulled tight to him.
"I'm so happy you're home!" Fiona gushed as she swayed Felicia side to side.
After a moment, the stunned siblings returned their respective parents' hugs, awareness finally surfacing over the white noise filling their heads. No sooner did they begin to settle into those familiar hugs, did the parents relinquish their holds, Shrek then moving on to Felicia, and Fiona similarly to Farkle, then Fergus.
"Look at YOU!" Shrek exclaimed as he released his daughter, his gaze opening back to all three of his children. "Ye hungry? Still workin' on dinner, but got loads'a good stuff to pick at! Take a load off!"
"And tell us everything!" their mother enthused as she ushered the three further inside. "Sit! Eat!" she encouraged, leading them to the table covered in plates of appetizers.
The stimuli slowly filtered into the trio's momentarily adrenaline-pumped minds as they fell into seats. They shoved hors d'oeuvres into their mouths, the very-missed home cooking helping lift some of their exhausted fog, at least for a bit. Their eyes were drawn to the fire dancing in the shiny ornaments adorning the fir tree beside their dad's recliner, a few wrapped boxes beneath it. Their stockings were hung over the fireplace, complemented by a garland of grime lining the top of the walls. Below that was the cauldron, where their mother tended to the hearty meal it contained. And their mother was–
"Mom!" Felicia blurted, half a question, the quaker moth quiche falling from her fingers.
"...Whoa!"
"Hey-hey!"
Fergus and Farkle's attentions quickly mirrored their sister's.
Fiona looked at her suddenly surprised children, then down at herself where their attention was focused. "Oh!" she laughed, a self-aware smile adorning her face. "It has been a few months, hasn't it?" She beamed at the three, her hands meeting her clearly protruding middle.
"Oh aye, fergot yer not used to that!" Shrek guffawed from where he chopped roots by the sink basin. He set the knife down and clapped his hands free of root bits, making his way beside Fiona. "Yah, that's been happenin', too!" He planted a kiss on her cheek, his hand meeting her stomach as he put his arm around her waist.
Fiona smiled at him, squeezing a couple of his fingers before her gaze quickly returned to the three main events before her. "Lots to talk about!" she chuckled. "Go put your stuff down!" she affectionately insisted, noticing the backpack straps still on their shoulders. "Kick your shoes off, relax! You're home!" Her eyes landed on each of her children's faces, her own smile growing as she nodded. "You're home," she repeated.
"Aye, that ye are!" Shrek agreed, grinning at the three in front of him. "C'mon, get those bags offa yer backs–" he moved to help Fergus's sack off of him.
The bag that the map sat inside.
"Oh I-I got it Dad," Fergus quickly stuttered as he turned, the bag eluding his father's hold as he swiftly moved toward his room, Farkle and Felicia close behind.
Fergus threw his and Farkle's door open, as did Felicia hers.
Fergus entered and shoved his sack under his bed, and Farkle put his on the ground in front of it. They met each other's eyes, wide despite their heaviness.
"Oh! I um–" Felicia said from her open doorway, "–forgot something of mine in Gus's bag, one sec–" She zipped into the boys' room, closing the door behind her.
The three glanced between one another, like deers in the lanterns.
"Ho-ly sh–" Farkle began, his voice barely audible.
"Shh," Felicia hissed, somehow managing an even lower volume.
"We're not bringing it up," Fergus breathed. The other two shook their heads in support.
"No way any of it's true anyway," Farkle added, "I mean, look at 'em."
"They're happy," Felicia echoed his sentiment.
"To see us," Farkle continued, "and about the–"
"Yeah," Felicia finished.
A wordless moment passed as the three looked amongst themselves - a tinge of relief at putting that tall tale to rest, a tinge of embarrassment at even entertaining it in the first place, and more than a tinge of exhaustion.
"Mom said she wanted to hear everything," Fergus broached apprehensively.
Their eyes met again, considerably less relieved than previously, as all the stories they'd neglected to get straight reared their ugly heads.
"So… let's go, then." Felicia raised her eyebrows insistently at her brothers. Farkle plopped down on his bed and pulled his boots off, letting them drop on the floor, Fergus following suit. Felicia took a deep breath that turned into a yawn, returning to her room to do the same.
The boys shuffled out of their room and sat back at the table, yawning as well.
"Forgot I'd uh, put Sir Squeakles back in my bag after all, heh," Felicia commented as she exited her room a second later, taking her seat next to Farkle.
Shrek and Fiona shared a quick glance, undetected by the teenagers. Fiona was already sat at the table herself, Shrek having taken over at the cauldron behind her.
"So…!" she began eagerly, swallowing her mouthful of pinworm puff. "What have you been up to?"
"Well, we already know a bit'a what they've been up to," Shrek commented slyly from the cauldron.
The teens' eyes widened, just as they were prepping to answer their mother's question. Their eyes traveled over Fiona's shoulder up to their father, who eyed them with a cocked brow.
The trio's faces paled. They couldn't possibly–
Shrek's face broke into a broad grin as he let forth a hearty belly laugh. "Oh ye can't think we're mad about Duloc!" Fiona turned to him and chuckled as well.
Oh.
The triplets let small relieved smiles creep onto their faces as they forced themselves in on the joke.
"You guys heard about that, huh?" Fergus exhaled as lightheartedly as he could manage, popping another deviled alligator egg into his mouth to avoid having to speak for a few moments.
"Lookit yer faces! Ye look like yer grandmother when we told'er!" Shrek took a step toward the table as he sighed out of his laugh, his hands resting atop Fiona's shoulders. "Well actually, ye look more like yer mother when she first showed me the paper–" Shrek continued his thought, cut short as Fiona affectionately smacked his hand.
"I was not upset," she clarified, a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth. "I was just… surprised to see your faces on the front page."
"Us too, when the knights threw the paper into our cell," Farkle commented before eating another praying-mantis-in-a-blanket.
"N' then about yer escape!" Shrek exclaimed proudly. "Didn't make the front page, that one, probably cuz they were embarrassed ye got away!"
The three's ears pricked - they hadn't considered that their subsequent jailbreak would have also, naturally, made the news.
"We'll get that one out after dinner," Fiona offered, noting their intrigue.
"Gotta say, very creative means of escape," Shrek raised his eyebrows as he turned back to the cauldron. "Resourceful. Very proud a'ye." He looked at the teens as he stirred, his pride evident on his face. "Though I gotta ask, why the Duloc museum? Kinda… I dunno, random…" He snagged a pinworm puff.
What sliver of time the siblings were able to bask in their father's praise was abruptly cut short by his completely valid question.
"Well, ah–" Felicia began quickly, her heart pounding in her ears, "It was kinda random, I guess! It was just… on our way out of the swamp, ya know, and we thought… why not?" She shrugged as she covertly begged her brothers to play along.
"Yeah!" Fergus supported, swallowing his mouthful, "We wanted to start Leaving off right! Didn't go exactly as planned, but–"
"It was a wild ride for sure!" Farkle concluded enthusiastically. "Jail: check!" He made a checking gesture with his finger as he chuckled deliberately, the other two following suit, as did their parents.
"Then what, after you broke out?" Fiona asked.
…Oh no.
Now they were sailing blind into a storm, with no choice but to trust their co-pilots. Their eyes suddenly reminded them how hard they were working to remain open, despite the renewed adrenaline surge.
"Well, we, uh…" Fergus began, before their pause grew too long. "We– saw a lot of different scenery! Didn't we?" Farkle and Felicia nodded, both popping another puff into their mouths.
Fergus gently bored enraged holes into his siblings across from him as they left him out to dry. "Like, so much scenery! Like– big rocks, and valleys, and even this huge–"
"We got caught in a snowstorm a few weeks ago!" Farkle added, his mouth finally free. "That was… a lot! Ha!" The brothers glanced at Felicia, who herself took another bite, perfectly content to let them do the heavy lifting.
"We ran into Ivvrett, too!" Fergus chirped smugly. "You remember him, Mom?"
Felicia was suddenly incredibly attentive, as her face involuntarily flushed.
"Oh of course! Your little friend," Fiona recalled. "You remember him, honey?" She half turned her head back toward her husband.
"Hm?" Shrek grunted. "Who?"
"Ivvrett," Fiona repeated with a small smirk. "Little ogre, blond hair–"
"Not so little anymore," Fergus muttered, to which Felicia covertly kicked him under the table.
"The one Fel had a crush on!" Farkle added with delight, his eyes on his sister.
Shrek stopped stirring for the briefest of seconds. "…Aye, him."
"Anyway," Felicia finally took the floor, "he's been Left for awhile now, has a place of his own and everything, so we stayed with him for a week? Might've been two." She subtly glared at Fergus across from her and punted Farkle's foot beside her.
"Fark, you and he were close I remember," Fiona offered. "How's he doing these days?"
Farkle blinked at his mother's unwavering eye contact as he swallowed another bite, regrettably freeing up his mouth to speak. "Oh! Um– yeah! He's doing good. So good! We, uh… yeah, we hung out a lot, while we stayed with him. Yeah!" He shot a split-second glare across at Felicia, who averted her satisfied gaze.
"And then we made it back here! Just in time too," Fergus attempted to casually conclude their semi-coherent recounting of events.
"That it?" Shrek asked as he took a taste test off the ladle. "Fer three months?"
"Well… yeah," Fergus replied, glancing between the other two. And it was… if they disregarded their huge fight after breaking out, ditching each other, Fergus getting strangled by Felicia's situationship, Farkle going to see Renna and almost getting caught by the ogre stirring the cauldron beside them, and them crossing a creepy little man who told them unsettling things who then helped them get home.
Which, yes, they were absolutely going to disregard.
"We were on the move a lot," Fergus continued, "and we got pretty far out, so–"
"I'm just surprised you weren't at each other's throats," Fiona remarked with amusement, "Three months together and all."
"Aye," Shrek seconded, "Was waitin' to hear ye split up!"
"We almost took bets how long you'd last," Fiona chuckled as she looked fondly between the three. "But then we got your letter, and– well, it's nice."
The teenagers blinked, their blank expressions hiding the depleted disbelief beneath. Well… too late to backtrack and say actually, yes, they had been at each others' throats, and they had split up, for nearly half of their time away so far.
"Can't make any promises for the future, heh," Felicia remarked as she reached for another praying mantis, not meeting anyone's eyes. Another light chuckle emanated around the table, simultaneously forced and relieved from the three younger members.
"What about you guys?" Fergus volleyed back at their parents, keen to shift focus as there remained very little safe territory. "How are, ah–" he turned to his mother next to him, "How're you doing, Mom? With um– heh," he exhaled, unsure how exactly to proceed.
"Oh, good!" she smiled, her hand absentmindedly going to her middle from under the table. "Baby's been very active since you arrived… might be all the new voices." Fiona looked around at the triplets, who looked back at her with an array of fascination across their faces. "We can see if the baby kicks for you after dinner, maybe."
"Speakin'a which - dinner's on!" Shrek announced as he moved to stand behind Fiona's chair, reaching to grab her plate.
"I've got it," she affectionately chided him, lightly smacking his hand away. As she rose from the table, Farkle grabbed his plate and filed behind her, followed by Felicia and Fergus. Shrek then grabbed his, and joined the back of the line.
"Dig in!" Shrek hollered as the family returned to their seats, and no one needed to be told twice.
Several moments passed in silence as everyone focused on consuming the Christmas feast in front of them.
"So," Fergus swallowed his bite as he ensured they'd stay on safer topics of conversation, "you got any names picked out?"
Fiona's eyebrows lifted as she chewed her mouthful, glancing at Shrek.
"Oh aye," Shrek replied. "Had yers picked out even earlier, in' n' amongst other options."
"I still have the scrap of paper they were written on," Fiona added fondly.
"Long as it's not another F name," Felicia mumbled with an amused exhale, glancing up a split second before returning to her dinner.
"We do have some that would go with all of yours," Fiona clarified, taking another bite of candied gnats, chewing and swallowing to continue her thought. "Ferelith… Fia… Fable is nice…" she listed thoughtfully.
"Those are cool," Farkle commented absentmindedly.
"Any boy names?" Felicia asked.
"Nothin' you'd approve'a, based on yer comment," Shrek muttered with sarcastic amusement, drawing a small exhale from Fiona and then the boys.
"We haven't really thought about boy names yet, actually," Fiona replied simply, another spoonful at her lips. Shrek grunted noncommittally, his attention toward the plate in front of him.
"You always wanted a sister though, right Fel?" Fergus prodded. "That's what you'd always scream at us, at least." He caught Farkle's eye across the table deviously.
"Yeah, as a child," she replied with a smirk.
"But imagine the hardship on little Princess Felicia to have had to share her daddy!" Farkle cracked, nudging her elbow beside him.
The spoonful of mashed potato bugs Felicia had raised to her mouth went off-course, grazing her cheek. "I've shared him with you two idiots my whole life and I turned out fine, didn't I?" Felicia quipped back, shoving the bite into her mouth and wiping her face. She returned Farkle's elbow with twofold strength.
"That's debatable," Fergus muttered with a smirk, drawing a chuckle from the rest of the table, to which Felicia kicked his foot.
"I think there's plenty of your father to go around," Fiona inserted. "Have you seen him?" All four sets of eyes went to the head of the table, to which Shrek shrugged casually, causing the table to let out a laugh.
"If it is a girl," Felicia began, "maybe you'll get one who's more of a princess," the sarcasm palpable in her tone.
"I like my princess just fine," Fiona countered her daughter, meeting her eye with a wink. Felicia smiled slightly, returning her gaze to her plate.
"But a girl who might actually like all the things you do, Mom?" Fergus reiterated, eyeing his sister across from him.
"Well that would certainly be different," Fiona commented lightly.
"Who actually likes needlework, and brushing her hair! Imagine!" Farkle seconded, flicking a stray strand of knotted red hair sticking out of Felicia's tangled bun atop her head. Felicia swiftly and conspicuously stomped Farkle's foot under the table.
"So not a single boy name yet, huh?" Felicia asked again. She tried and failed to stifle a yawn, causing her brothers to follow suit.
"Well if ye hate F names so much, maybe ye can help us think'a some," Shrek offered, scooping up the remnants on his plate into one last bite.
"That would be nice," Fiona seconded with a genuine smile. "We're all ears!" She set down her utensils on her empty plate.
Shrek looked around the table at the similarly empty plates. "We done? Any more? Seconds?"
"I gotta take a leak," Felicia said, knocking over her chair as she rose from it. She righted it and quickly made her way out the front door.
"Yeah actually, I'll have a bit more," Fergus accepted, rising from his own seat.
"Same," Farkle echoed, getting behind his brother at the cauldron.
"I am absolutely stuffed," Fiona sighed contently as she leaned back in her woven-backed chair, a hand meeting her middle. Her eyes lifted to the front door, left ever so slightly ajar by her daughter's abrupt bathroom break.
"Gus, can you close the door all the way? Don't let the cold in," she asked her son as he turned from the cauldron.
Felicia sat on the closed toilet lid in the outhouse's dark claustrophobia, a half-moon beam of moonlight shooting in above her head. Her elbows rested on her knees, her hands holding up her forehead as her breathing slowed. The darkness was a dangerous temptation for her heavy eyes, and she could feel her body remember its exhaustion after that meal.
She had been able to put all of her little worries about this new sibling at the very back of her mind the last three months. The last time she'd let it even remotely affect her was… wow, when they were in the cornfields on their way into Duloc.
And they were silly little worries. Of course they were. Whatever the baby would be wouldn't change anything, she logically knew.
Still, she couldn't help but feel… less than thrilled if she did happen to get a sister.
Their parents were so excited that the baby could be a girl, they hadn't even considered boy names. When she and her brothers last left them, they hadn't been particularly excited about it at all…
Well, their mother was excited. Of course she was. Why wouldn't she be? Another chance at all of her expectations that hadn't been fulfilled. A shame Fiona had wasted the name she'd wanted for her daughter on the dud.
Felicia moved her hands down over her eyes to suppress the stinging sensation that began to form.
Approaching footsteps on the icy ground snapped her back to the present. It wasn't either parent by the gait and weight of the steps.
"Go away." She knew exactly who it was.
"You're not the only one who has to piss in this house," Farkle pestered.
Silence.
"You can't actually be upset," he scoffed, more of an insistence than a question.
"Of course not," Felicia reflexively parried. She jammed the heels of her hands into her eyes and lifted her head, nudging the door open a crack with her toe. Her brother's cocked brow met her own firmly set expression.
"Well good. Get back inside and help us clean up." He nudged the door open another few inches.
"I do actually have to pee." She pulled the door fully closed again.
"You didn't go all this time? Hurry up." He didn't leave his post outside the door.
Damnit.
Felicia slipped back into the house, dinner largely cleaned up, save for her plate that remained on the table. She took a deep breath, willing any of her remaining anxiety to dissipate.
She picked up her plate, past Shrek and Fiona portioning out leftovers from the cauldron, and moved to the sink basin where Fergus was washing dishes.
She placed her dish on the dirty stack, and picked up a rag to begin drying the freshly washed ones.
Fergus eyed her beside him. "You good?" he asked curtly.
"Mhm," she replied.
The door creaked open again as Farkle re-entered. He approached the basin as well, ready to put away the dried dishes. He and Fergus met glances above their sister's head.
"Aye, lemme just–" Shrek mumbled as he made his way out the door.
Felicia felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned to see her mother.
"You okay?" Fiona asked her, a small smile on her face.
"Yeah," Felicia answered, mimicking her smile to her best ability. "I'm just tired."
"It's okay," Fiona said, brushing her daughter's bangs out of her eyes. "Come on, let's sit down." She glanced at the nearly-completed dishes in the basin. "This can wait, come on! We'll read the Christmas story when your dad is back." She squeezed her sons' shoulders, relieving them of the chore for the time being.
The teens might have rolled their eyes at the long-standing tradition of Ogre Claus's Night Before Christmas, but the thought of sitting their aching legs down again overrode the urge.
As they made their way back to the couch that rested against the ledge beneath the master bedchamber, Fiona moved to sit back in her dining room chair.
"Mom, don't you wanna–" Fergus gestured to the much more comfortable couch, "One of us can sit at the table, you should really–"
"Won't be necessary!" Shrek announced, a bit of effort in his voice as he backed into the house, something hefty in his hold. He turned around with his haul, and set the newly-constructed rocking chair down where he stood in the center of the room.
Fiona's eyes lit up as they fell on the chair, before raising back up to her husband. "It's done already? I didn't think it'd be ready for another–"
"Aye, well," he brushed his hand along one of its arms, "thought tonight would be the perfect time fer it, so I picked up the pace!" He smiled back at his wife, before quickly noting the current furniture arrangement. "Let's move some'a this around, hm?" He caught Farkle's eye, who proceeded to pull the table away to make room.
Shrek set the rocking chair down in front of the fireplace, where its predecessor once sat many years ago, turning it to face the couch.
"Thank you," she said to her husband as she squeezed his arm affectionately. Her eyes suddenly sharpened with a thought. "Oh, do we want to sit by the tree? If you wanted to sit in your–"
"We can do that tomorrow mornin' fer presents," Shrek offered simply. "These travelers probably'd appreciate the sofa opposed to the floor." He looked at the teenagers, who were looking quite comfortable on the sofa that all three just barely fit on.
Fiona hummed lightly in agreement as she sat in her new chair, and Shrek pulled up his own dining chair beside her.
"We might fall asleep though, listening to the story," Farkle offered jokingly, before succumbing to another yawn, the other two mirroring him.
"That'd be nice," Fergus mused airily as he rubbed his eyes.
"I might do just that," Felicia seconded sarcastically.
"That would make for a good photo," Fiona added to the jokes, to which the three attempted to sit up a bit straighter - the last thing they needed was another embarrassing photo.
"Not to worry, any sleepers I'll nudge awake so ye don't miss a thing!" Shrek replied, drawing a light chuckle from the room. "We ready?" He glanced around at his family, a knowing smirk on his face, to which they all returned. "A'right!" He offered his hand to Fiona, which she took, and he cleared his throat. "'Twas the night before Christmas, not a swamp rat did–"
"Actually," Fiona interrupted Shrek with a chuckle, her free hand going to her stomach. "Someone's still active!" She looked up at the triplets, who looked at her with that same wide-eyed fascination they had earlier. "Maybe the story could wait a bit, if you three wanted to feel the baby kick? Seems like they want to meet you!"
Shrek put his hand beside Fiona's on her stomach. "Aye, they wanna meet ye a'right!" he echoed with a laugh. "Good a time as any! Tradition can wait."
The three glanced between each other, before Fergus leaned forward in his seat, closest to Fiona's chair so that he didn't have to leave the couch. He reached a tentative hand out toward his mother. She took it and pressed it where she felt the movement was most prevalent. His face lit up as his hand was met with a series of flutters, and his eyes raised from his hand up to Fiona.
"That's your big brother Fergus," she said down toward her middle.
"Or Gus, if that's easier," Fergus amended, which drew a light exhale from the room, and another little jab against his hand. "Wow," he mused. "You sure there's just one in there?" He looked up at his parents, mostly joking.
"Better be," Shrek mumbled, the smirk on his lips betraying his flat tone of voice.
"Yes," Fiona emphasized, eyeing Shrek with her own sly grin before returning to Fergus. "Just one."
Fergus sat another moment, marveling at the little movements under his hand. "What are the odds all four of your kids have the same birthday, then?"
Shrek and Fiona looked at him a second, processing what exactly he meant. Fiona then blinked, realization washing over her.
"Oh," she exhaled with a self-aware grin. "No, no, baby should be due about late March, so still a few weeks before your birthday–"
"Practicin' yer riddles, are ye, lad?" Shrek inserted, finally realizing what Fergus had actually meant. He blinked his confusion away and exhaled.
"Three months to go, just about," Fiona sighed.
Fergus moved his thumb absentmindedly, which beckoned another little flutter. He looked up at his parents, a wide smile across his face. After a moment, he withdrew his hand and sat back.
Fiona looked between Farkle and Felicia expectantly. Felicia elbowed Farkle to go, which drew a momentary glare from him. Farkle left the couch to kneel in front of Fiona, his hand proffered. She placed it where Fergus's had been, and it was quickly met with a particularly strong kick. Farkle's eyes widened in surprise.
"Whoa!" Farkle couldn't help but blurt, a toothy grin spread wide on his face as he looked at his hand. "I mean, uh–" he quickly continued, far calmer than before, "That's cool, I guess." The room gave a chuckle at his attempt at nonchalance.
"You were a pretty ruthless kicker yourself," Fiona accused Farkle playfully. Farkle looked up at her. "I think this one might be outdoing you!"
"Only cuz they have more room in there than I did," he replied in a similar tone, throwing a quick glance over his shoulder to the two ogres on the couch.
"We'll call it a draw, aye?" Shrek offered. Farkle gave him and Fiona a small smirk as he reclaimed his seat.
"Fel?" Fiona looked at her daughter, whose head leaned on her arm on the couch's armrest. She blinked quickly, returning from the sleep-deprived daydream she'd drifted off into. Felicia looked at her parents with a self-conscious smirk, and knelt in front of the rocking chair, letting Fiona put her hand where it should go.
And waited.
"Hm," Fiona mused, moving Felicia's hand to another area.
Still, nothing. Felicia's brow furrowed slightly.
"Might'a tuckered the little booger out already," Shrek offered lightheartedly.
"Maybe!" Fiona agreed.
"Or maybe they just don't like you," Farkle muttered. Fergus lowered his head, poorly hiding his amusement as he snorted.
Felicia's eyes darted to them, her heart beginning to beat harder.
"Or maybe," Fiona countered pointedly, shooting her sons an admonishing glance, "the baby really likes your sister, and she's calming."
"Dunno if I've ever heard Fel described as calming," Shrek commented, a healthy dose of affection injected in his tone. The boys snickered again at their father's quip.
Fiona looked at her daughter in front of her, the younger ogress's eyes still confused. "Here." Fiona gestured for Felicia's other hand, and put it next to the first hand, and pressed Felicia's fingers slightly into her firm stomach.
A small movement finally met Felicia's hands - not a jab or a turn or even a flutter, but what felt like a similar push back toward her. Her eyes widened.
"There we go!" Fiona sighed happily. "And that's your big sister, Felicia," she spoke down toward her middle, and met her daughter's eyes reassuringly. "Sometimes it takes a minute."
Felicia's eyes returned to her two hands - her brothers got movement and kicks, while she was… pushed away by the sibling on the other side. She withdrew them, giving her parents as easy a smile as she could muster, and took her seat at the end of the sofa again.
"Mid late March, there'll be a new little terror when ya come back!" Shrek said happily to the three. "Speakin'a which," he adjusted his chair closer to Fiona's, "we did wanna tell ye somethin' we're thinkin' of… wanted to mention it before Christmas Day, it's a kinda anti-Christmas present I s'pose, heh."
The teens looked at their father, their eyes intrigued if not a bit wary.
"Since yer all on Leavin' now, we were thinkin'a makin' the boys' room into a guest room'a sorts, and Fel's into the baby's room."
The trio's brows knitted, downturning their stares ever so slightly.
"It won't be anytime soon," Fiona inserted, sensing the group's ambivalence, "the baby won't even need a room for at least a year–"
"And ye'll always have a place t' stay at home, a'course," Shrek emphasized, also sensing the temperature of the room, Fiona nodding with him.
Farkle and Fergus glanced at each other. "So…" Fergus began, "nothing'll really change right now?"
"Yah!" Shrek replied. "Not like we're gonna start in on it t'night." He looked at Fiona, who returned his grin. "Just a plan fer the future. There'll still be the two beds in the larger room, 'n the smaller room'll eventually be fer the–"
"For you," Felicia muttered, her face turned away from the rest of the family as she slumped in the corner of the sofa. "Nothing will change for you."
Shrek and Fiona quickly met glances.
"Fel… c'mon now," Shrek offered his daughter, a light exhale following, "yer all out there on yer own now, 'n–"
"Why?" Felicia snapped at the parent she thought would have had her back. The crack in her voice undermined the unaffected front her tired mind was struggling to maintain. "Why can't you just build another room?"
"This house can't exactly take any more add-ons," Fiona replied, no stranger to this side of her daughter. "Your rooms were a stretch as it was," she smiled as disarmingly as she could.
"So this is final?" Felicia drilled on. "No discussion?" She looked between her parents in front of her, her hand unconsciously gripping the sofa's arm tighter.
"Yah. It is final." Shrek replied firmly, his agitation just barely suppressed.
"We've made the decision, yes," Fiona continued, forcing her tone to be level. "And, you'll all still have your rooms for a good while longer–" she looked at her sons beside Felicia, who were somewhere between baffled and irate, as she attempted to open the discussion back up to the whole family.
"And THEN what?" Felicia spat. "I'll sleep on the couch while they still get their old beds?"
"Felicia." Fiona's tone was markedly less calm than it had just been.
"Stop–" Farkle elbowed her, but his gesture seemed to only incense her further.
"No no, I get it!" Felicia shot up from where she sat. "We're old news, get 'em on 'n outta here to make room for the new model!"
"Would you–" Fergus grunted as he attempted to reach past Farkle for her, but she took a step away from the sofa, and from their parents.
"You know what, you're right!" Felicia shot daggers at her brothers. "Nothing really changes for you two, but I'm the one losing my–" That pesky sting in her eyes returned with a vengeance. Her mind felt like a fiddle string being tuned too tight, straining to keep from snapping. "I'm the one being repl–"
"Felicia yer–" Shrek pulled his hand exasperatedly down his face. "Yer not bein' replaced! That's ridiculous!"
"I told you we should've waited to say anything," Fiona muttered flatly, rubbing her forehead as she leaned on the arm of her rocking chair.
Shrek inhaled to counter his wife, but turned his attention back to his daughter. "Look we're– what're ye even TALKIN' about!? This is–"
"Don't!" Felicia blurted, moving another step away. Her brothers looked like they wanted to kill her. Her mother looked at her, some mixture of sadness and anger on her face. And her father looked at her… well, probably as enraged as she was looking back at him.
She felt her body instinctively pivot toward her room, as she often did during such moments, but the realization that it wasn't even hers anymore smacked her upside the head.
"I guess I can't even escape to my room anymore," she sneered, dodging the lump in her throat. "I'm just being– kicked out like any other ogre."
"Felicia," Fiona pressed, her tone finally betraying her own anger, "You three are almost eighteen - you're on Leaving right now!"
"Would ye QUIT IT with the dramatics!" Shrek bulldozed what rational response his wife had constructed. "Where d'ye expect the kid to go!? When ye won't even be here!"
"You two didn't even want this kid!" Felicia hurled back at them. "And now all of a sudden you're making these perfect plans for it once we're gone!"
"Would you SHUT your–" Farkle moved to stand from the couch himself, but Fergus shot his arm out to stop him.
"Then again you know ALL about not wanting kids, don't you!?" Felicia pointed a finger at Shrek, as she saw red. "You didn't want any of us SO badly you signed us all away!"
The house fell instantly silent, save for the crackle of the fire.
Fergus and Farkle felt the white noise re-enter their heads as their vision tunneled on their sister.
Shrek and Fiona stared at their daughter, both still as statues as the color drained from their faces.
"…What?" Shrek uttered.
…WELP
Thank you for all the kind reviews on the previous chapter!
I'm not sure I realized the highly specific, unique dynamic this story's premise creates, until this chapter - gaining a new sibling as a teenager is nothing new and not at all uncommon, but being gone for months at a time and only just experiencing it for real at this point is a bit more unique. Especially for as close as I think this family is, it's completely uncharted territory.
Thank you for reading! Big editing thanks as always to hanny spoon, who really helped me work out this chapter.
Reviews are always much appreciated! :)
