I know you've all been eager for this. Yes, the story continues, and Stitch will be up to his usually shenanigans.


"Aloha, Louise! My name is Stitch!" The blue experiment offered his clawed hand for Louise to shake.

Louise screamed and flung herself away from her familiar. The young mage rolled across the bed, getting even more of Stitch's slobber over her clothing and robes, before tumbling to the floor in an undignified heap. She groaned as she slowly uncurled herself, rubbing her aching head.

Stitch leaned over the edge of the bed, eyes wide with concern. "Louise? Hurt?" he asked.

Unfortunately, this only restarted Louise's hysteria. "You can talk?!"

"Ih. Stitch can talk. Aloha!"

"Familiars aren't supposed to talk," Louise said, half to herself. "Unless it was the runes… sometimes they give cats the ability to talk. Maybe that's what happened."

"Naga," Stitch denied with a shake of his head. "Stitch has always talked." He held out his paw to her. "Shake?"

Louise looked at Stitch's extended paw, which ended in hooked, deadly claws. Suppressing the fear building upside of her, she gingerly took the paw and shook it. The paw was surprisingly soft, firm around the pads, and covered in short, fuzzy fur.

"What are you supposed to be?" she asked as she carefully pulled her hand away.

"Ahem." Stitch coughed into his fist, cleared his throat, and announced, "Stitch is Experiment 626, made by Doctor Jumba Jookiba of planet Turo."

"…"

"Stitch is illegal alien genetic experiment?" Stitch tried.

"…what?"

One of Stitch's paws smacked his face and slowly slid down across his nose and mouth. "Okay, okay. No big words, Stitch understands. Ahem. Stitch, is Stitch."

"That tells me absolutely nothing!" Louise exploded. "You, you…" Louise's face burned as she tried to sputter out something resembling a sentence. Anger and confusion had thrown her brain into a tailspin.

"Louise okie-taka?"

"I—I—I… I'm going to take a bath!" Louise threw off her slobber-covered clothes in a hurry and marched over to the bathroom. Out of ingrained politeness—courtesy of Nani—Stitch looked away as Louise carelessly undressed in front of him. "This place better be clean by the time I get out!"

"Gaba?"

Stitch's question went unanswered as Louise slammed the door, isolating herself in a sanctuary of temporary peace from the insanity that had stepped into her life.

Stitch looked at the slobber-covered clothes Louise had flung on the floor and the bedsheets that were in a similar state. "Naga morcheeba," he complained.

With a heavy sigh, Stitch started collecting all the clothes and sheets. He also made sure to wipe away the slobber stains. While he was cleaning up, he noticed that the room, though orderly, had not been given a good dusting in a while. The alien experiment looked at the wet bed sheet, then the dust, and a lightbulb went off in his mind. He took advantage of the moisture to use the sheets as a dust rag, polishing every inch of the room. As Stitch crawled over the room, he also took the time to straighten Louise's books and tidy up anything else he could find. That way, Louise would have no complaints when she was out from her bath. While Stitch didn't appreciate Louise's initially reaction, it was understandable. After all, Nani had hit him with a broom when he first talked to her. Not everyone was as accepting and rational as Lilo.

"Bootifa," Stitch declared as he dusted off his paws. The room was spotless, the shelves were organized, and the dirty laundry were all bundled up and ready to go. But now he had to figure out where to put the laundry. He didn't see anything resembling a hamper or laundry basket, which meant it probably was supposed to leave the room.

Stitch stepped outside of Louise's room with a bundle of clothes and sheets balanced over his head. As he left, he narrowly avoided bumping into a girl in a maid uniform.

"Soka," Stitch apologized, before continuing on down the hall. Then he paused, looked back, and, upon recognizing the style of clothing the girl wore, made a full one-eighty. "Hagata," he said, presenting the bundle to the maid.

The maid, who had short raven hair, looked at Stitch and the bundle in bewilderment. She had multiple questions, but the first that came to her mind was, "Is this… laundry?"

"Ih," Stitch responded with a nod. He handed the bundle to the girl, who instinctively took it from him. "Takka!" Stitch scurried back Louise's room on all fours, stood upright to open the door, then went back to walking on all fours, closing the door behind him with a kick of his foot.

The maid stood in the hallway, looking at the door with an incredibly baffled expression on her face. After several moments, she continued on her way with the laundry cradled in her arms. Still in her stupor, she wondered why her hands and forearms were feeling wet.


"You look like a mess, Louise."

Indeed, Louise's damp hair clung to the back of her sloppily put on uniform, a sharp contrast to the girl's normally prim and tidy appearance. Louise didn't even bother to turn to the voice as she continued picking at the food set in front of her. "At least I look better than you, germanian cow."

"I heard you scream rather loudly in your room earlier," a second voice chimed in. "If that was your attempt at singing, I think we finally found something you're worse at than magic."

"I was startled, that was all, Montmorency," Louise's eyes narrowed as she turned to the blonde girl who was leaning in closer. "Now leave me alone. Your company is unappreciated and I'd prefer to eat my food in peace." Louise turned back to her tray and stabbed her fork into a plate of eggs, but found the plate licked clean. There was even a trace amount of saliva running across the middle. She stared at the plate in confusion.

"By your lonesome?" Kirche said with a pout. "Little girls shouldn't be left alone without a chaperone."

"Who'd go out of their way to eat with a Zero anyway?" Montmorency said snootily.

"Obviously not you two, so mind your business!" Louise snapped. She slammed her fork down on a plate of leafy greens, only for her fork to clank against an empty space on the tray. She stared blankly as a furry limb extended from under the table to replace the empty plate.

Tabitha, who Louise only just now noticed standing behind the other two girls, raised her gaze from the small book in her hand to give Louise a questioning look. Then, with an almost unnoticeable shrug, resumed her reading. Louise cheeks burned. She wanted to deal with her familiar, but she had to get rid of her classmates first. To make matters worse, her outburst had the opposite of its intended effect.

"My, my… it looks like little Louise is all fired up," said Kirche. A curious twinkle was in her eye. "Has summoning a familiar filled you with passion?"

"Just leave me alone," Louise sighed.

The resigned tone of Louise's voice gave the other girls pause.

"It's a waste of time talking to a Zero anyway," Montmorency said with a huff. She ran a hand through her hair to flounce her golden locks as she walked away.

Kirche, on the other hand, did not know when to give up. "Sorry, but I'm still oh so curious," said Kirche in a tone that clearly conveyed the insincerity of her apology. "What element is your familiar? Are you bonding with it well? Actually, is it a boy or a girl? My precious Flame could do with a companion to roll around with."

Louise's face scrunched up in distaste. "Perverted harlot."

"Magicless midget."

"Windbag carrier."

"Washboard."

"Cow!"

"Zero!"

"Patookie!"

Louise and Kirche jumped. Unfortunately, Louise being seated meant that she painful banged her knees against the edge of the table.

"Ow! Stupid familiar!" Louise shouted as she rubbed her knees.

"Soka. Soka," Stitch apologized as he stuck his head out from underneath the table.

"There's the little cutie!" Kirche gushed. "Come here and let me squeeze you!" She dove for Stitch, but he retreated back under the table. Kirche, in a rather unladylike action, stuck her head underneath to take a peek at Stitch, who was clinging to the underside of the table. "How are you sticking to the table like that?"

"He sticks to everything," Louise complained. "It's impossible to get him to move."

"You clearly don't know how to persuade anyone," said Kirche. "Come here, little one. Let Kirche snuggle you!"

A glob of thick saliva impacted Kirche's foot. She looked down in surprise as Stitch cackled like a maniac. Louise couldn't resist a little giggle as well.

"Looks like you aren't very good at this either," Louise remarked.

Not to be outdone, Kirche straightened up and motioned to Flame. "Grab Louise's familiar," she ordered.

The salamander slithered under the table. It then looked up to see a menacing creature looming overhead. The creature had six limbs, a pair of dangling antennae, a ridge of spines, and glowing green eyes. Flame made a hissing shriek and slithered away to hide behind his master.

"Oh no, Flame!" Kirche scooped up her familiar. "Did Louise's familiar startle you? Don't worry, you're still the best familiar in the academy."

Louise rolled her eyes. She hadn't been able to touch her food yet, but between Stitch's pilfering and Kirche's pestering, she had lost her appetite. "Come on, Stitch," she said. "We've got better things to do than hang around these people."

"Okie taka." As Louise left the dining hall, Stitch scurried after her.

"Is it just me, or does Louise's familiar sound like its talking?" Kirche asked Tabitha.

The shorter girl shrugged.


Louise led Stitch outdoors, to a corner of a courtyard where they would be alone.

"What were you doing back there?" Louise hissed her familiar.

"Eating?"

"I left you a slice of bread on the floor."

Stitch blew a raspberry. "Stitch hungry!"

"Well, you weren't supposed to steal from my plate!"

"Louise didn't eat! Louise wasted food!"

"What are you talking about? It's not a waste, I just wasn't hungry anymore," Louise said defensively. "Besides, it's your fault!"

"Meega?"

"Yes, you! Who wants to eat after seeing your slobber over all those plates?"

"Oh… Stitch sorry."

Louise huffed and crossed her arms. "'Sorry' doesn't change anything," she said stubbornly. Then, as an afterthought, she added, "Well, you did put Kirche in her place. So, it wasn't all bad."

"Louise and Kirche not friends?" Stitch felt like he already knew the answer from their interactions, but he wanted to make sure.

"Why would I ever be friends with a Zerbst? Especially a bimbo like her."

"Because friends are good?" Stitch suggested.

"I don't need friends," Louise insisted. "Besides, once I become a famous mage, everyone will admire and competing for my attention."

Stitch looked at her skeptically. The only person he had met who truly didn't want any friends was Hamsterviel, and Stitch doubted that Louise was secretly an evil megalomaniac villain. Still, he'd only known her for barely two hours, so it was too soon to make a judgement call. He'd observe for now.

And speaking of observing, he could see—and smell—that food was being served outside as well. He tapped Louise's leg excitedly.

Louise was startled by the unexpected contact, but she followed Stitch's pointing finger to where tables were set up on the lawn. "I suppose it would be wrong to completely skip lunch," she reasoned aloud, pretending she was convincing herself, when in actuality, she was starting to feel peckish. If Stitch hadn't been the one to notice it first, she would have gone without hesitation.

Claiming one of the tables on the edge of the arrangement, Louise sat down and signaled for a maid to attend to her. Stitch climbed onto an adjacent chair, but Louise was quick to rebuke him for it. "Familiars don't sit on chairs," she said. "Besides, you already ate."

Stitch reluctantly slid off the chair. "Stitch still hungry," he complained in soft voice.

"Good, that will make it a lesson in how to behave properly."

A low growl rumbled from Stitch's throat, startling Louise. Her eyes widened as he bared his teeth, but then, to her relief, he turned away with a huff. The alien experiment's ears fell flat against the sides of his head. "Ika patooka," he grumbled under his breath as he slunk under the table.

Stitch waited hungrily as Louise was served her meal. While he technically had eaten enough to tide him over, he still wanted more. The little furball could pack away a great deal more than his size would suggest. Plus, he felt it was unfair that Louise was denying him food. He'd cleaned her room and acted like a non-talking pet in public. She could have at least given him credit for that.

Stitch could hear the sound of Louise eating. Cautiously, he slipped his head out from the side of the table. Louise was biting into a very fluffy and delicious smelling pastry, smiling pleasantly as she ate. Noticing his ear stick out, she turned to him with a frown, "Back," she ordered, shooing him away.

"Hmph," Sttitch grunted as he ducked his head back.

However, Stitch was not super genius alien experiment for nothing. His eyes and ears took notice of his environment, planning out his next move. Other humans were having their plates taken away, often without even finishing their food. What a waste. If Louise wouldn't feed him, he'd swipe some of the food that was going to be thrown away. It would be blasting two ships with one laser canon.

Stitch waited patiently for the prime opportunity. A maid was passing by Louise's table. Stitch curled into a ball and rolled, letting his hearing guide him as he made sure the maid's skirt shielded him from Louise's vision. Once they were a safe distance, Stitch rolled under another table. He continued zigzagging from table to table, until he reached the side of the arrangement where the half-finished plates were being taken away. He uncurled under one of the unoccupied tables, still undetected.

Then, it was time for Stitch to make his ultimate move. He had to execute this part flawlessly, otherwise the entire operation would blow up in his face. With discerning eyes, he scouted out his potential targets, before settling on one who carried a carefree smile. People of her temperament were the easiest to manipulate.

As the target passed by, Stitch slowly crawled out from underneath the table. His target paused, a brunette maid, looked down at him in surprise. Stitch raised his head slowly, looking up with wide, innocent eyes.

"Aww… aren't you a cutie," the maid giggled. She bent down, noticing how his eyes were trained on the half-eaten meal she carried. "Are you hungry, boy?" she asked. "Or is it girl? I've never seen something like you before."

As the maid tried to determine what Stitch was, the experiment shot out his tongue and licked the entire plate in one swift motion. "Mhm!" he said contently. He had no idea what he had eaten, but it sure tasted good.

The maid looked surprised, and then laughed. "Well, that answers my question. You should run along now, though. Wouldn't want your master to be looking for you, right?"

Just then, another person snuck up on them. "Mary, what are you doing?" a second maid asked. She too carried a plate of discarded food, which immediately attracted Stitch's attention. "You know we're not supposed to play with the noble's familiars."

"I'm not playing with him, Amille" Mary said defensively. "He looked hungry, so I was giving him some leftovers."

"You know we still shouldn't."

"But he's so cute! And he eats fast too, watch!"

"What are you—?"

Mary snatched the plate away from Amille and held in front of Stitch. He immediately obliged by swirling his tongue around the entire plate in one swift motion.

"See?" Mary asked, holding the plate that was no clean—aside from the saliva. "Isn't that cute?"

Amille appeared absolutely appalled. "That is disgusting! Also, you still aren't supposed to be feeding the familiars without their master's permission. They could have specific diets."

Stitch once again went for the puppy-eyed look. While Mary was thoroughly enthralled, Amille was unmoved. "Shoo, go back to your master," the stern maid told the experiment. "And you," she said to Mary, "get back to work."

"Fine," Mary said with an exaggerated sigh. "Bye little blue!" she waved goodbye as she followed Amille to the kitchens.

"Ih, bye!"

Mary froze, then made a half-turn in confusion as Stitch made his escape, rolling in zig-zags from table to table. She shook her head dismissively. "It almost sounded like it was talking," she mused.

As Stitch hurriedly made his way back to Louise—before she could finish her meal and realize he was gone—he noticed a strong-smelling bottle fall out of a blond boy's pocket as he stood from his chair. While the experiment was in a hurry, the bottle looked delicate, and it would be a shame if someone accidentally stepped on it while it was on the ground. Stitch risked skirting across the open to reach the bottle, and picked it up. Walking upright, he went to the boy who had dropped it, who was currently giving overtly romantic flattery to a girl with long blond ringlets. Stitch gently tugged on the boy's robe to get his attention.

"…for my love for you is as endless as the ocean of stars in the night—what is it?" the boy said as he was rudely interrupted. He turned around, but saw no one.

"Ahem."

The boy looked down, now noticing Stitch. "What is Louise's familiar…" his voice trailed off as he realized what Stitch was carrying. "Where did you get that?" he whispered in shock.

Stitch pointed at the spot on the ground he had picked it up from. Guiche blinked, surprised that Stitch had actually answered his question. Stitch took that opportunity to put the perfume in Guiche's hand. The blond noble unwittingly accepted it as his mind struggled to reorient itself.

"Guiche, what is that?" Montmorency asked.

"What is what, my dear Montmorency?" Guiche asked, immediately turning around and plastering a suave smile on his face. He noticed that his girlfriend's attention was fixed on his hand. Looking down, he realized that he was openly holding the vial. "Uh, I can explain."

"Oh really?" Montmorency asked icily. "How do you explain having another girl's perfume in your hand?"

"The Zero's familiar brought it to me!" Guiche defended himself.

"I can see that, but why would it have found that perfume next to you?"

"It's not mine!" Guiche said defensively. "It probably gave it to the nearest person, not knowing who it belonged to. The Zero did summon it after all, so you can't expect it to be smart."

Stitch took offense to that. "Yuuga ika patooka!" he refuted, pointing at Guiche.

Stitch's response, incomprehensible as it was, made Montmorency doubtful of Guiche's claim. She snatched the bottle from Guiche and handed it to Stitch. "Find this perfume's owner," she ordered.

Taking the perfume, Sitch took a whiff of the outside. The perfume's natural aroma made it difficult, but he could easily follow the freshest scent, which led his nose straight towards Guiche's robe.

"It must be mistaken because I had it in my hand!" Guiche said defensively as Montmorency's glare. "Believe me, my dear. After all, it's only a stupid familiar."

"It also doesn't have a reason or ability to lie," Montmorency said.

With multiple barbs thrown at his intelligence, Stitch decided to prove them wrong. The experiment took a second whiff of the perfume. On closer inspection, there was a second scent that was lingering underneath Guiche's. He sniffed the air, and found a similar scent drifting in the breeze. "Aka tiki baba!" he said, running off.

"See?" Guiche said in relief. "It managed to find the bottle's actual owner. Now, my dear Montmorency, why don't we get back to enjoying our lovely meal?"

Montmorency's hand clamped over Guiche's wrist like iron. "We are going to follow Louise's familiar and find out which girl was clumsy enough to drop her perfume next to you."

"My precious dear, we do not need to worry about an unfortunate accident," Guiche said, wincing as Montmorency tugged him along.

"Oh, yes, we do," the girl replied angrily. "I've had enough of girls trying to interfere with our relationship. They should understand that you're taken, and no amount of coercion or gifts will change that."

"Urk!"

"Hm?" Montmorency noticed Guiche stiffen. She followed his gaze to where Louise's familiar was tugging on the robe of a first-year girl. "Of course, it was a first year. Those girls never bother to check if a guy is taken before making their move. How shameless."

"Now, now, Montmorency," said Guiche shakily. "We don't want to scare off the poor girl. How about I pull her aside and talk to her—gently—to make sure this doesn't happen again?"

"No." Montmorency immediately shut down that idea. "You've tried that before and the girls still kept flirting with you. I'm going to make sure this little interloper understands that you're not going to be pulled away from me that easily."

"Maybe that isn't exactly a good idea." Guiche's protests went ignored as Montmorency dragged him over.

The first-year girl quickly snatched up the vial from Stitch. "Where did you get this?" she asked. Stitch pointed towards Guiche. The girl was surprised to receive an actual response, but she was swiftly diverted from that mystery when she saw the blonde girl that was dragging Guiche towards her. "Guiche, who is that?"

"I should be asking 'who are you?'," Montmorency retorted. "How dare you try to seduce my boyfriend."

The first-year recoiled, turning to Guiche with tears glistening in her eyes. "Guiche," she asked, her voice wavering. "What does she mean by that? I thought I was your girlfriend."

Guiche paled. Beads of sweat formed a waterfall down the back of his neck and all the way down his spine. "Well, ladies, funny thing about that…"

Stitch facepalmed. "Oh, boy," he muttered. He did not want to stick around for the aftermath of this. He stealthily started tiptoeing away, watching over his shoulder to make sure the three's attention were not drawn to him.

Because he was looking behind him, Stitch was surprised when he bumped into a very cross Louise. "Ahaha…" Stitch chuckled guilty. "Aloha?"

Louise's looked down on him, arms crossed, and face pinched in a deep frown. "You're grounded. Go to my room and forget about having dinner today."

"Pooh. Naga morcheeba."


Tantalog Translations:

Gaba? – What?

Ih – Yes

Okie Taka – Okay/Okie dokie

Naga – No

Naga morcheeba – Not fair

Bootifa – Beautiful/Perfect

Soka – Sorry

Hagata – Here

Meega – Me

Ika Patooka – Stupid head

Yuuga – You

Aka Tiki Baba – There it is/It's over there


Now Stitch has met most of the important characters in Louise's age group. He'll be introduced to more people in the next two chapters as the plot gets rolling. Louise is no Lilo, but she could use an alien friend. They'll get along better... eventually. It's the journey that matters.

Also, no Guiche duel this timeline for obvious reasons.

Writing this story gives me the challenge of putting cartoon gags in a manga world on a written text format. I amuse myself with the results, hopefully you readers enjoy it too. If not, leave a review telling me where the joke flopped and how you think it could be improved. If you did like it, tell me so I know to keep up the style. I can't do this in a vacuum, I need the feedback. And if you read my other stories, you should know why by now:

Remember, reviews are food for a writer's soul!