Ohmicrofilm: I'm so happy that you liked it! I was actually conflicted about having them kiss last chapter but in the end, it just felt like the right time.

asphodelos: This review made me so happy! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it.


Chapter 15: A Cruel Start to the Day

"I can't do anything else for you, Tori. You're arm… well, the leather bracers must have melded to the muscle when the troll blood splattered you. From there…"

Ori didn't have to say anything more. From there, the bracing had created a pot effect, keeping the acidic troll blood against my skin long enough for it to bubble and eat away while also fusing to the tissue. When we had pulled the leather off, it had torn away the muscle as well. Sweat dribbled thickly down my neck, the morning sun doing little to ease my growing discomfort. Ori's brows nit together, his lips puckering in painfully obvious discomfort. His hair was a mess, fluffy and frizzing out in every direction after a bath and then sleep the night before.

I grimaced, trying not to stare too hard at the grotesque chunk of flesh that was messing along my forearm, the skin around it a mottled mess of pus and swollen tissue. It was still bleeding - very slowly but at a steady pace. I felt my muscles numb, my heart quivering. The fact that it hadn't stopped… I forced it away with a gulp, taking into account the other rather morbid fact. A day of rest without the adrenaline of near-death pumping through me had given my body time to adjust. And what it had adjusted to was pain. Hot pain. Pain that bordered on excruciating. Pain that made me want to curl up in a ball and slam my head against a wall just to redirect some of the agony. A moment to focus on anything else would have been a blessing.

"I can't hold my weapons," I hissed out, saliva pooling in my mouth as Ori looked around in his bag for something - anything - to dull the pain.

Nori siddled, holding a full platter of fruits with obvious disgust with Dori not far behind him carrying a tray of a steaming tea kettle and cups. Their eyes immediately zeroed in on the carnage, both of them paling at the obviously brutal wounds. I braced, already gearing up for a fight that I wasn't entirely sure I could win. Early this morning, Ori had pulled me aside, pushing me into one of the more secluded corners while the others had milled, drifting to wherever the morning meal was.

My stomach turned, the pain making all appetite flee in a fit of nausea. When had I last eaten? I looked away from the fruits, growing sick.

"I think that's hardly the main concern," Dori whispered, his eyes traveling over the rest of my body with growing anxiety. Nori's jaw clenched. I knew that look. That look was the one he got whenever he thought it would be best that I stay back. That the caves were too tight and it would be better to go alone. That we needed a lookout and both of us knew that he was the better pickpocket.

"We're on a quest. What else would be of more concern than my inability to even grasp a stick?" I snapped, unwilling to hear what he was gearing up to say. I couldn't look weak.

My eyes darted to just behind his shoulder, my blood icing over as I saw Fili, Kili, and Thorin all standing at the balcony entrance, framed by the soft morning light. Their eyes were attentive, watchful as they ran over our small group over and over again. Gone was the person who had kissed me last night, who had whispered to me and held onto me with such force. No. I knew that look. I knew it because it was the look that had always accompanied a command I wouldn't agree with or like. It was the look of a king - the look of someone who was analyzing a situation and coming to a conclusion that wasn't made up of emotions or bias. I hated it.

Nori's voice was soft as he set aside the platter, tearing my gaze away from the trio. He crouched beside me, the three wild peaks of his hair showing a startling amber in the light. Dori's eyes crinkled as he shared a look with Ori.

"Tori…" I avoided his eyes, the gentle way that he had come to crouch in front of me. "You know that these wounds will only become worse if you continue on the road."

"You-" I stopped, gritting the next words out through my teeth. "You don't know that."

Nori didn't smile - holding back the sardonic tilt enough that I could only see a hint of it in his eyes. "The dirt. The sweat-"

"If we're lucky, we could find a stream in an hour or it could take us days," Dori continued, his voice soft as if he were speaking to a small child. My cheeks heated at the tone, my head beginning to pound. Weak - a weakness that needed to be replaced or completely abandoned before it became a detriment to the rest. My neck prickled.

I couldn't become a flaw. Not when I felt like I finally, finally had found a place in this group. Not when my brothers were on this quest as well - all of my kin tied up with a bow and attached to the destruction or accomplishment of this mission. Not when I could lose everything if something went wrong. Not when… My eyes strayed to where Fili was standing, his gaze steady, his brows knit. Thorin was speaking to him, both of them turned to each other in intimate conference. I couldn't-

"The medicine will run out quickly if we have to keep up with this wound for the entirety-" Ori was whispering, riffling through his pack with growing anxiety.

"It will heal," I forced out, jutting out my hand to be wrapped once more. Ori eyed me warily, not picking up the gauze.

"It's a massive chunk of muscle and tendons missing from your arm, Tori," Nori finally growled, his eyes flashing a sharp amber hue. He gestured harshly at my pulverized arm. "I can see the white of your bone."

"Oh dear," Dori whispered, fanning himself as he looked around awkwardly. He made an awful attempt at a smile and a nod at Gloin and Oin's attention.

"Flesh can grow back," I argued, whipping around to grab up the gauze and thrust it at a thoroughly distressed Ori who looked at it like it was a belt and I was threatening to whip him with it. "Wrap the damn thing, Ori."

"Don't you dare!" Nori roared and Ori flinched, sinking completely away from the offered gauze. I growled glaring up at my thieving brother. Around the balcony, I could see the other dwarves start to take notice, Dwalin and Balin stopping their discussion on knitting patterns to turn and stare at the group of Ri siblings. Nori's face was reddening, a vein very similar to our older brother's starting to throb at his temple. "You know that this is absurd! You know that this 'little wound' could get you killed - from blood loss or more likely than not, infection!"

My teeth bared, all of my insecurities roaring to life and making me rabid. I would not leave this quest. "Damn the arm, Nori! If I must fight with one, then I will. If I need to use my teeth, I will. I will not -"

"And if you're arm gives out in the middle of a swing?!" he demanded, lurching forward. We were so close now, his eyes massive in my view, his nose almost touching mine as he crouched down, making sure I heard every word that he uttered. "If you pass out from the pain - because I can see that you're in pain, Tori - and one of us has to step in?"

My blood went cold, my mind revolting against the direction that this conversation had veered. I flinched away as he continued, catching the thin-lipped expression on both Dori and Ori's face and knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that this would happen.

"If we went to save you?" he demanded.

"Stop it," I whispered, paling. But his eyes were hypnotizing, they captured me, painting a vile picture.

"If your stubbornness and selfishness got one of us killed?" He finished the blow with destructive accuracy.

My body stiffened, numbed by the images. The bitter truth behind his words. Because no matter what - no matter if I was bleeding out or half-lucid - I would always go to my brothers. No matter what else, I knew this simple fact. And so I knew that they would do the same. We would always go to each other.

The silence that followed was deafening, tortuous in the way that only the lack of words can be. Something inside of me shattered, the lush future I thought I had giving way to dumb disbelief. This couldn't be how it ends… Could it? Things of the world seemed to move this way - such glorious highs mixed with insignificant ends. This was...par for the course. I wasn't the hero of this story - if anyone was, it would be Thorin - forsaken King to the lonely mountains, reclaimer of lands. I...was just...Tori.

"What…" I fumbled, the word coming out too choked, too shell-shocked. Dori's mouth tipped down with sadness. My eyes dipped to the ground, numb all over again, unwilling to see their pitying expressions. "What now?"

I could feel their dismay. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw their shoes stutter on the clean stone, their eyes turning to each other in obvious surprise. I wasn't known for my willingness to accept things that I didn't like. My eyes ran over the gnarled mess of my forearm once more, the wind running through the cut with cutting accuracy. I wilted, giving in to the pull of gravity with an ease that saddened me.

There was nothing to do. A wound like this… I had no hope of healing it. Not in the day or so that it would take for us to finally depart Rivendell.

"Tori." I jolted at the voice, recognizing the gravelly edges with an accuracy that tormented me. Dirt clenched beneath heavy boots, the strong line of someone's legs coming into view and crouching just in front of me. I didn't want to look up. Not so that he could simply dismiss me. Fingers curled around my chin, lifting my face so that the choice was no longer mine anyway. Fili's face was soft, his blue eyes tender in the light. A small smile graced his lips. "A bowed head doesn't suit you, hamamul amrul."

Behind him, Dori and Nori gasped and I winced, realizing that they hadn't heard him call me that before. And the implications that came from it. Ori smiled, his lips curling in a secretive tilt. Fili's eyes danced, highly aware of what he was doing. Across the balcony, I saw Kili grinning, his uncle looking decidedly blank. I didn't want to know what they thought. Not when I was about to leave. I didn't even want Fili to be here. My mouth twisted sourly. For him to be the one to tell me to leave… how cruel.

"You're not going to be able to go further with that arm." I kept my mouth shut, unwilling to encourage or deny anything. His eyes danced, taking in the defiant tilt of my lips.

My brothers were decidedly quiet. They had no place to intervene on my behalf. Not when they saw how clearly I was hurting.

Fili's head tipped to the side. "I'm surprised that you didn't faint already from it."

My lips pressed further into each other, my eyes burning into his. If he kept talking like this, I was going to reach forward and show him how deadly I could be with just one hand-

His eyes lit, becoming an inferno of blue flame and storm clouds. "Ah, there she is." He stood abruptly before crouching with a suddenness that made me gasp, his arms sweeping around my waist and knees and lifting me with an effortlessness that struck me dumb for a moment. He stopped just before moving past my brothers. "I'll go with her to get the proper medical attention. If you want to come-"

I spluttered, my eyes roaming madly around the balcony before boring into Fili once again. "Have you lost-"

"I would be nicer to the person who's saving your life," he interjected loudly.

My brother's watched on with varying degrees of astonishment, all seeming to be struck speechless by the display. I floundered. "Wha - saving - what are you even talking about?"

"The elves of Rivendell are actually rather adept at healing," he murmured nonchalantly, his eyes flicking back to my brothers. "Asking for Lord Elrond's help should be rather easy considering how contrite he's been about yesterday."

I growled sounding more and more like an offended poodle than a functioning member of society. Fili's eyes flicked down to me with alarm before that expression quickly melted back to a crooked grin, his teeth flashing.

"Cute." I blinked, head spinning as he leapt back to the conversation with my brothers with a swiftness that caused me whiplash. Dori looked like he was becoming physically sick. Nori just looked like he wanted to hit something. "Thorin's already spoken to Lord Elrond. He should be expecting us any moment."

"I'll come!" Ori leapt in happily, looking mildly star-struck as he stared up at Fili.

I was still struck by a particularly jarring part of what Fili said, my eyes wide on his face. "He - Thorin asked for… Lord Elrond's help… on my behalf?"

The words came out oddly, the order and meaning of them bewildering me even as I said that. Cornflower blue eyes twinkled down at me, his voice dropping as he leaned down to whisper to me. "I don't know what kind of tyrant you think my uncle is, Tori but he feels the burden of an injury from one of his own like it were his own. It hasn't slipped his attention that you acquired it trying to save us."

I… didn't know how to feel about that. Or how to grasp it. Or even how to talk about it. So I stared dumbly up at him as he smiled and began the long trek to wherever Lord Elrond was. And when we passed Thorin I stared dumbly at him as well, his eyes meeting mine briefly before he was looking away with an air of haughty disinterest. Was I...still dreaming?


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