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Chapter 21: Into the Fire
Goblins. Goblins everywhere.
"TORI!" I heard one of my brothers cry, the broad side of one of my axes slamming into the skull of a pock-marked face with enough force to splatter me with spittle and blood.
How many seconds had it been since Gandalf had suddenly appeared, his eyes wild as he demanded that we run faster, fight harder?
I grit down on the gut-deep urge to wipe away the lukewarm gunk, yanking my other axes out of another goblin's side. There was no time to think in the chaos - no time to take a moment and breath. They pressed upon us as we sprinted down quivering bridges and nearly destroyed wood platforms.
I couldn't look to see where my brothers were. Where Kili or Fili was. I could only see what was right in front of me. And that was a million little bodies, all diving, snapping and foaming as they reached for anything that they could get ahold of. Crudely jointed fingers reached for me, tearing my leggings into even further disrepair, leaving angry, red welts along my bare skin. I gritted through it, driving my axe down, more warm blood flying into my eyes, dampening my lips. I felt bathed in it, christened with enough of it to infect the whole, clean parts of my being.
"THIS WAY!" Gandalf's voice rang true and clear in front of me, pushing me forward. I was near the back of the bedraggled line that we had formed, each of us barely small enough to get through the tunnels and hallways and bridges that made up the maze of the goblin nest. I could feel panic starting to coat my throat, bone-deep exhaustion weighing down my arm as I swung and swung again. Over and over again until I couldn't think about anything other than where the next fall of my axes would be - the next burst of blood soaking my clothes and face and legs.
"RUN!" the wizard howled and I felt the muscles in my legs respond. I wished for a moment that he would cast another spell - get us out of this cesspool of death like he had only moments before. I wanted a miracle. I wanted to be saved.
We dove around another corner, the dwarf at my back making a small grunt as more goblins piled up behind us, their hands reaching over the wood at our feet as they crawled from the pathways below our own. Torches and lamps burned dully, unperturbed at the chaos in the halls that they lit. The criss-cross of pathways and ropes was enough to make me dizzy - enough to confuse me for a second long enough that-
I cursed foully, breath sawing from my lunges as my feet stumbled. I had made the wrong turn. I had gone up a flight while the rest had gone down.
"We have to go back!" I heard Fili roar. I dove forward, taking the momentary lack of goblins in my path in a thin-lipped run. The rickety wooden planks beneath my books shook ominous. They would be on me in a second. Below, through the gaps in the planks, I could see the band of dwarves I had just been with, each one peering up at me with varying degrees of fear. To be separated and lost within the goblin halls would mean certain death.
"TORI! YOU BULLHEADED LASS!" Dwalin bellowed and I swore again as the first grappling, warted hands of the goblins peeked clawed their way onto the platform just in front of me.
My eyes searched, breath bursting from my lunges in harsh, burning gasps. Up ahead there were two arched tunnels, the bridge splitting into two different pathways that would lead me deeper into the mines. Not somewhere I wanted to go. I felt the skin at my palms prickle, sweat dampening my hold on my twin axes.
There was nothing to it.
I hooked one of my axes into the thin straps at my back, sliding my other one along the edge of the platform, sending a few goblins howling into the depths as they lost a few fingers.
"What's she-"
"Aw, fuc-" I heard Nori choke out as I slid, wood splintering the flesh of my legs and arms as I dove toward the one pillar connected to another level of the mines.
My feet scrambled, nails breaking as I dropped, the excited chatter of nearby goblins shaking along my nerves. Nothing to it, I told myself, shimmying down far enough to where I could see the next platform I needed to jump onto. Something whizzed past my ear embedding into the wood just above my head and I felt the whoosh of air as the goblin reaching down for me let out an ear-splitting shriek.
I didn't look to see who it was - only a few dwarves carried daggers with them and one was currently cussing rather vividly, demanding that Gandalf turn around. My Fili.
I grabbed onto the slam handle, ripping it out of the goblin's palm and tucking it between my teeth before leaping down, the bridge below unforgiving as it met my body with almost gleeful resistance. Dirt coated my tongue, the wood rubbing my skin to a blistering rawness. I didn't have time to think about how much my body ached, how much my hand hurt from clenching around the handle of my axe. I rolled with the impact, forcing myself up and into a stumbling run as I sprinted farther down the swaying latter.
"MADAME HOBBIT, I SUGGEST YOU REGROUP-"
I bit back my cry of rage and panic, swinging and sending a goblin howling over the edge. My head whipped to the side, seeing that they had somehow made their way two bridges over.
"TORI!" Fili's voice was a raw cry, his eyes wild as he slipped to the back, holding the approaching goblins there. For me. Just behind him, I saw my brothers, all three of their faces damp with sweat, red with exhaustion.
My eyes darted around the space desperately, catching sight of the platform just above me. In the distance, it crossed just above the one that they were held on. My only chance of getting there. My feet scrambled above on the wood of a pillar, all of my muscles quivering as I clutched at it. I shoved my axe into my belt, my teeth digging into the worn handle of the dagger. Below, I could hear the familiar clunk of more blades sinking through vulnerable goblin skin, their shrieks ringing up in a cacophony of pain.
"Mahal's beard," I swore, heaving myself over the edge. Sweat coated my sides, making every article of clothing stick to me like a disgusting second skin. For a ludicrous moment, I thought about laying down and taking a nap, the thought like a buzzing gnat at my ear. I was so tired. I stumbled to my feet, heaving out breath after breath. My axes were becoming harder and harder to carry, a fact that made my blood turn to icy slosh within my veins.
"YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ESCAPE ME!" My head whipped around, the breath sawing out of me as the bulbous form of the goblin king burst through the planks just in front of Gandalf, a lecherous smirk upon his lips.
I snagged the dagger from my lips, hefting the axe out of my belt as I took off down the narrow bridge. It was so close, the platform that they were just a few feet away. I could hear the ringing timber of the goblin king's voice as he sneered down at the wizard, an odd squawk breaking the air like a bird being hurt. Behind me, I could hear the squeal of a dozen goblins as they bit at my heel, the rank smell of them clogging my nose. I swung, bringing my axe around and into the willowy form of a larger goblin, his mouth gaping open in agony as my blade went through his stomach, spilling intestines and fluids across my arm.
I yanked free, heart stuttering as I finally caught sight of the sheer number of creatures just behind him. Too many for me to fight against. My axe slid firmly into the sheath at my back, the dagger slipping nicely into my belt. I spun, thigh muscles cramping as I took the short distance at a sprint. There was no time to stop - no way for me to crawl down unless I scaled one of the nearby walls and -
"JUMP!" My eyes snapped downward, meeting the clear, vibrant blue of Fili's his hair in a tangled, adorable mess as he bellowed up at me. I felt an involuntary squeeze in my gut. "JUMP, TORI!"
I jumped.
Air rushed around me, whipping my hair back as I tumbled. There was nothing to grab - no way to stop -
Strong arms closed on me, the familiar scent of Fili bursting along my senses as he rolled, crushing me to his chest. The platform beneath us gave an ominous shudder,, the cry of a few dwarves ringing out in the hollow caverns. Fili's hand shifts, broad and sure as one cradled my head into the safe expanse of his throat, the other wrapping sure and strong around my waist as he dragged me so that there wasn't a single inch of separation between us.
"Hold on, amrul," he breathed into my hair and I didn't question it, my hands clawing into the thick material at his back as something slammed into the platform just in front of us, the sound of wood splintering and shattering rending the air.
One of my brothers gave a sharp cry seconds before the whole platform gave. I whimpered, fear tightening my stomach as I felt the whole shoddy contraption shudder, splintering little by little as we went careening down the cavern. The wood beneath me shook violently, the sides wedging along the walls enough to make our fall only a little more stable.
"Close your eyes," Fili's breath was hot, calming along my temple, his body an anchor as he held me securely to him. Without him, I wasn't entirely sure that I would have been able to hold on. "Everything's going to be-"
We went flying, his words cut off in a harsh grunt as our bodies slammed into a wall and then down into a soft pile of dwarves bodies. The platform around us had turned into nothing more than fire kindling. A million tiny groans decorated the air.
"Well," I heard Bofur bleat out, dirt and wood spraying all about as he wrenched himself from beneath the rubble a few feet away. "That coulda been worse."
The goblin kings bloated body slammed down on them, sending quivers of aftershocks all the way to where we rested, tossed a bit away from the rubble. I winced, catching sight of my brothers as they let out yelps of agony.
Rough fingers pressed my face up, a thumb dragging along my cheek as Fili's eyes ran over me critically. I was still wrapped around him, my fingers curled in his coat like it was the only piece of driftwood after a shipwreck. His eyes were clear like an unruffled summer's day, smears of dirt and blood darkening his face. "Are you okay?"
"You caught me," I replied dumbly, wincing as I realized how stupid that sounded. If he hadn't caught me, I probably would have careened down into the abyss moments before them.
His eyes twinkled, that thumb rubbing along my lower lips roughly. My insides lit, a fire warming my belly. His voice was low as he answered me. "And you jumped." He let out another low breath, his arms tightening around me. "Mahal, your incredible."
Butterflies tickled my stomach, fluttering through me and beating at my insides until I was nothing more than an adoring mess in his hands.
"GANDALF!" Fili's head snapped to the side, all softness disappearing as he let out a foul curse, scrambling to his feet with me still firmly attached to him. I blinked, bewildered and then utterly horrified as I followed his gaze. Swarming down the cavern above, hundreds of goblins streamed down the walls.
"There's too many," Dwalin snapped, helping Nori up, his hair in an utter mess. "We can't fight them."
My stomach tightened, my hands unsure as I touched nervously at the axes at my back. Too many to fight… my eyes snapped to the dark walls around us. A dozen pathways skirted this way and that, dark and foreboding as they wound deeper into the mountain. We could guess… I swallowed. I wasn't entirely too keen of betting on whether I would be mauled by slimy urchins or starve to death in the bowels of a mountain.
"Only one thing will save us all," Gandalf hissed, jogging to look quickly over the winding corridors. "Daylight."
"Splendid," Kili snapped peevishly, anxiety oozing from every pour as he limped toward us. His face was set in petulant indignation, his gait stiff as he glared pointedly at the way that Fili's hand was moving soothingly up and down my back. "There's plenty of that down here, don't you think?"
"Keep that up and you'll be taken as a bride for one of those awful creatures," Fili muttered, his eyes intent on what Gandalf was doing. I felt a surprised snort tighten my throat at the startling image, Kili's eyes murderous as he wiped aggressively at the coating of dirt currently turning his hair a dusty brown.
"Come on!" He pointed quickly down a passage that looked equally as foreboding as the rest. I didn't question him, taking the dark way like a well-lit summer jog through the forest.
The pathways that were etched out into the mountain were tall, so tall that we couldn't even see the tops. They wound endlessly, spilling in and out of each other like rivers meeting and diverging. They were fickle, not man-made at all but formed from years of rocks building and degrading upon themselves. My boots tripped and stuttered along, catching on so many rocks and crevices that I got dizzy. A full-blooded dwarf was usually more adept at seeing in near-darkness. After years of working in mines, their eyes had evolved, able to filter out the darkness from the light easier. My elvish blood wasn't made for such things, my sight dull in the gloom.
"Hold onto Kili's back," Fili breathed, his hand warm and sure against my ear. His hand pressed comfortingly to my spine, his other curled protectively around my hip as I stumbled again, slamming into the side of the cavern wall.
Hand so much softer than Fili's tightened on mine, guiding my grasping fingers into the warm, dirt-crusted fabric of Kili's jackets. My breath eased a bit, the darkness still encompassing but no longer daunting as I followed behind him, letting him lead me. Fili kept me upright, his hands steading me if I slipped or slid a bit.
The tunnels wound, turning and swaying into a jumble of rights and lefts that I would never be able to navigate again. Eventually, the path flared, becoming wider as a sudden gleam of daylight lightened the cavern walls.
"Daylight," Balin breathed up ahead and I heard Ori give a little chirp of happiness.
"About shit bricks back there," Nori grumbled from somewhere behind us. I dropped my hold on Kili's shirt, picking up my pace as the opening came into view.
Fresh air never tasted so good. An evening breeze filled my lunges clear and pine-tinged as we burst from the mountain's grasp. A steep decline met us, my feet slipping and sliding along the grass as we kept going. Distantly, I could see the lush green of another mountain, trees coloring it an inviting green. After so many hours in the goblin's keep, it felt like I had closed a book and opened another one, my brain lightening from the sudden change.
We stopped far at the bottom of the hill in a small clearing, trees crowding around us in quiet company. Gandalf stopped, turning as he scanned us as we dove past him, finally stopping.
"Nine…" His eyes caught mine crinkling. "Glad to see that you made it back to the group, Madame Dwarf."
I didn't know quite how to respond to that.
"Oh my great-aunt's toe, look at cha!" Nori let out a sob, clutching onto the trunk of a nearby tree, tears welling in his eyes. The tri-tipped folds of his hair were in utter shambles, strands going this way and that in frenzied clumps. "Never seen a more beautiful tree, have I."
Hands gripped onto my shoulders, yanking me around as Dori shoved his giant nose into my face, sniffing around me. His icy gray eyes scanned over me in great sweeps, his hands turning me this way and that. "Always knew you had a terrible sense for directions. Remember that one time when you got lost trying to make your way to the great hall and you ended up in Thorin's private bathing chambers."
"Dori," I hissed out, heat searing across my face as I felt the penetrating gaze of the dwarf in question.
"He broke my quill, Tori," Ori murmured to me, his face crestfallen as he rifled through the content of his bag, pulling out a smashed bottle of ink with a yelp. "That great lummox. What an utter - what a -"
"I'll get you five more quills if you'll stop griping about it for the rest of the trip," Nori drawled, nose stilled pressed firmly to the base of the tree. But in his hands was the flash of a dagger and I sighed as I saw him whittle away something into the bark.
A sneer curled Ori's face as he stuck out his tongue at our middle brother. "You can't even read, you baboon."
Dori turned me around, paling as he caught sight of my leggings. "Look at what they did to you, Tori," he breathed, his lips quivering.
"Oh, anai," Ori whispered, suddenly going quiet as his gaze fell to the red, swollen mess of my legs, the torn fabric of my tights and skirt and cotton shirt. I bit back a grimace finally taking in the disaster. Everyone else has minor tears but my clothes… I bit back a swell of revulsion, sudden panic gripping my throat as I remembered the helplessness, the feel of the wood beneath my back as those broken, disease-marked hands had curled into my tights and ripped.
"We'll go back and slay them all right now if you want us to," Nori murmured, pressing a light kiss to my temple. My fingers tightened in my skirt, a sudden bubble of - of sadness and fear choking me. I shouldn't be crying. This shouldn't make me cry.
My brother's crowded around me, their faces resting in the matted mess of my bent head, my tears falling silently to the rocks below my feet. The way that they had touched me -
"Tori…" A voice murmured hesitantly and I jerked, suddenly remembering where we were. Fili's eyes met mine through the crowd of my brother's bodies, those blue, blue eyes shot through with clouds of gray, his brows pinched with pain.
Dori's hand pushed gently at my shoulders, making me step uncertainly forward and out of my brother's embrace. "Go on."
Uncertainly, I stared up at the golden-haired prince, his face tightening with so many emotions that I couldn't even fully comprehend them all. Finally, silently, his arms opened, his chest so broad and inviting and so obviously the answer that I stumbled into them. He was warm and sure, one hand curling gently around my nape, dragging my nose into the welcome heat of his throat. His other banded around my back, his whole body curling around me like the folds of a favorite blanket. His lips were soft as they dusted along my temple, feeling me shake in his hold as more silent tears rolled free. I tried to stifle my quivering gasps, biting down on my tongue as I tried and failed to make them stop.
Not the time. Not the place.
I shivered, trying to pull the broken, humiliated pieces of myself back together again. I could have fought back more - couldn't I have? I had frozen. I had frozen like a doll - What if - what if Thorin hadn't stepped forward? A chill ran up my spine, my body hunching further into Fili, like I was trying to crawl my way into his body. I wanted to disappear.
His voice was rough, gravel and metal striking together, his lips moving against my temple as his hands clutched me closer like he wanted to pull me inside of him as well. Like he wanted to wrap me up and bundle me to him so that we could never be separated. "It's my fault," he breathed and I stilled, confused. "I was too busy fighting in the back when I should have been with you. If I had just stayed with you -"
"Don't you dare say that," I snapped, reeling back so that I could stare up into his pained eyes. My fingers inched up, running along the thick, harsh strands of his beard. He leaned into the touch like a pet given attention, his eyes seeking mine in odd adoration. "You couldn't have known that they…"
I didn't want to say what the goblins had wanted to do.
His eyes beat down at me, bright as any sun. "I should have protected you." His adam's apple bobs as he stares down at me, his eyes gleaming like that sharpest gem. "I'll never let anyone touch you like that ever again."
My heart squeezed, a tight breath falling from me as I stared up at him. My prince. The one who used to rule the place that made me feel so lacking. And here he was, swearing that he would protect me. My heart couldn't handle these moments.
"Where is our hobbit?!" Gandalf's voice boomed across the clearing breaking any response I would have mustered, his eyes searching our ranks with the frantic energy of a parent realizing that their child was gone. Thorin's eyes darted around the other dwarves, his face decidedly indifferent as the wizard whirled on him.
"Curse that halfling!" Gloin muttered, brushing some dirt from his brother Oin. "Now he's lost?"
"I thought he was with Dori!" My brother's eyes snapped wide, spluttering at the vague accusation.
"Don't blame me!" he snapped and Nori sent Bolin a nasty glare, sidling closer to our eldest brother.
Gandalf's head whipped toward him, his eyes searching. "Where did you last see him?"
"I think I saw him slip away," Nori piped up helpfully and my stomach dropped, eyes darting back to the looming outline of the goblin keep. "When they first collared us."
"What happened exactly?" Gandalf demanded, his hand tightening to white around his staff, I moved forward, slipping from Fili's hold as the wizard took a step closer to my brother. "Tell me!"
"Master Gandalf," I started, glaring up at the great man. His eyes swept to me, his stare panicked. "Nori just told you what he knows."
His words jumbled together, stuttering into an incoherent huff.
"I'll tell you what happened," Thorin snapped, drawing all of our attention. Fili slipped closer to me, staring at his uncle as he ran a hand throught the salt and pepper strands of his hair. "Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it." Bewilderment buzzed through my mind. What did that mean? His chance? My head tipped to the side, meeting Fili's gaze as he flicked a bitter glance to me. "He has thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door."
That didn't - I mean, he had. Of course, he had. He was so very far from home. My eyes slipped back to where the craggy mountain hunched over us, dark and imposing. Would I have blamed him if he had slipped away? If he had disappeared after that? My throat tightened, my body suddenly wilting into Fili's side. No. No, I didn't think I would.
"We will not be seeing our hobbit again."
Fili's arm slipped around my shoulder, pressing me closer into the safety of his body. The statement clanged hollowly through me. Another loss in this increasingly wretched quest. What would it take from us next, I wondered.
"He is long gone," Thorin finished, his eyes burning as they took the messy, exhausted heap of us in.
Ori shook his head quietly, looking around in vague disbelief. In truth, we had grown… attached to him. I had thought… I had thought that maybe… maybe he had grown attached to us too.
"No," A soft, amiable voice piped up, the sound like a drum vibrating through my system. I whipped around, taking in the disheveled hair, the scratched, dirty face, his lips tipped up into a defiant smile. "He isn't."
"Master Baggins!" I breathed, the itching smile taking over my whole face. I saw the secretive tilt of Fili's lips as well as he stared at the small hobbit. He had managed to creep right up on us.
Thorin's face pinched briefly before smoothing into his usual cool indifference. He was so good at that - hiding himself away.
"Bilbo Baggins!" Gandalf exclaimed, grinning as he stepped closer. The tension in his shoulders eased, the hand grasping his staff loosening. "I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life."
"Bilbo," Kili chirped, bounding closer to stand beside Fili and I. "We'd given up on you."
"How on earth did you get past the goblins?" Fili inquired, his brows furrowing a bit as he took in the - well, the rather clean press of his clothes. The rest of us were covered in dirt and goblin blood, clothes ripped and shredded. But Bilbo - I frowned, catching Fili's sidelong stare.]
Thorin's face darkened like the beginning rumble of a thunderclap. "How indeed."
My smile faltered, an odd stiffness entering the air as Bilbo chuckled nervously, his hands slipping into the olive green pockets of his vest. An odd quiver buzzed along my system, the air suddenly… strange. Not quite right. I took a step back, feeling Fili's hand gently press me behind him. He felt it too. He had to…
"Well," Gandalf murmured, and an off little laugh slipped from him. His eyes never left the hobbit, intent like an animal sniffing something different in its home. "What does it matter? He's back."
Thorin's eyes narrowed at the statement, his shoulders rising. "It matters. I want to know."
Beside me, Kili shifted, unease starting to creep into his stance.
His next words were soft, his eyes holding Bilbo's. "Why did you come back?"
A pregnant pause filled the space after the question, a different kind of tension creeping into the dwarves.
"Look," Bilbo started, his words weak - like he was trying to calm a horse that had already kicked him twice. "I know you doubt me. I know you always have. And you're right. I often think of Bag End." He shrugged, his eyes going distant and sad for a moment. "I miss my books. And my armchair. And my garden." He nodded, sighing. "See, that's where I belong. That's home."
The very word was like a treasure, so rare and good that we all took a shuddering breath in. Home.
His smile was a gentle, kind thing, too good for the likes of our king. Our king, who had pushed and prodded Bilbo since the beginning. "That's why I came back. 'Cause… You don't have one." I shuddered, feeling the statement in my gut. His eyes met mine across the clearing. And I was suddenly reminded of that brief conversation that we had had so many nights ago. About homes. "A home. It was taken from you." His gaze drifted from me. "But I will help you take it back if I can."
My throat went dry, the protective hand that Fili had on me slipping a bit as we all stared at the small, little hobbit from Bag End.
A distant, harrowing howl rent the air, whatever warmth inside of me dying as all of our heads snapped back to the distant mountains.
"Out of the frying pan," Thorin hissed, his face hardening as another howl cut through the trees.
"And into the fire," Gandalf groaned, looking just as exhausted as the rest of us. "RUN!"
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