Crystal wolf: I'm just gonna shorten your name lol. Thank you for always reviewing!

WindSongEnchantment: As I was writing it, I was remembering all the times that I fell out of trees and thought I was dying.

Guest: We'll definitely be getting into that more with Thranduil and the second movie in general. I love how much of a diva Thranduil is so I'm super excited to get there.

Mia: Your review absolutely made my day! When Kili and Fili AND THEN THORIN all died I was in tears. You can ask my husband - it was like our first date and I thought it was just gonna be another carefree little romp and then it went so so so wrong. I'll never get over the betrayal.


Chapter 23: Infatuation

Bones to be broken. Last breaths to be taken while the world got dimmer and dimmer.

When my body slipped from the branch, that was what I had expected to find in the moments following. I expected it to hurt.

I did not expect my fall to be softened by the downy back of a mammoth eagle.

Wind whipped my hair back, the crisp bite of the sky just above the clouds turning my skin to ice.

"You're okay, Tori," Dori murmured, drawing me higher on the eagle's back. Ori checked me over quickly, brushing his hands roughly along my body and watching my face to ensure I didn't wince. Our eldest brother waved him off when he came near.

Below, I could barely see the blazing fire that roared, the small cliff that we had been pinned against looking like a lit hearth as we soared higher and higher. Screeching caws cut through the air, the sudden sound of orcs and wargs alike crying out as the birds swept down, clawing at them. Each of our small party of 16 was being methodically picked up by a bunch of magnificent eagles.

Saved. We had been saved.

Irrational, hysterical laughter burst from me. I felt it roll up, pressing at my lunges and throat until it spilled over, stomping across my throat and over my lips with the wild abandon of stampeding animals. This couldn't be real. This whole thing couldn't be real. I must be dead.

"You're not dead," Ori whispered to me, his face pinched. He was smeared with dirt and soot, the whites of his eyes alarming in the moonlight cleaving across us. He gave a small, pained smile. "We're not dead."

Dori let out a long shaky breath beside me, our bodies pressed so close together that I could feel each breath that he took like it was my own. His face twisted, a swirl of emotions overtaking him as he burst into tears.

"Mahal, I thought I lost you two," he breathed, his words quivering out into a hiccuping, barely audible. "You daft dimwits."

"You two are the ones who fell," I defended, reaching out to rub both of their backs as Ori burst into loud, wailing sobs. My brothers were all crybabies. I had seen them burst into tears more times than I had done so myself. "Keep your balance next time."

"You loony girl," Dori wailed, yanking me to him with enough force that my breath burst from me. Ori seized me on my other side, clutching at me. "If a boulder goes over a waterfall, do you reach out to stop it? You idiot."

"You're not a boulder," I whispered, his tears dripping down my face. "You're my brother. I'll always reach out to stop you."

Ori gave a high, squealing sob.

"HEY!" I blinked, gaze shifting toward the obnoxious voice. A bit away, a blob with blazing red hair waved a hand, his body nearly rolling off the eagle who carried him. My other brother was one to be left out. "YOU LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF NINNIES!"

I grimaced, giving him the finger.

We flew for hours, the night breaking slowly into a beautiful dawn. Mountains turned into rolling planes and then into craggy regions where the rocks seemed to reach and roll toward the sky. Red toyed with the yellow of a new day on the horizon, slipping away to distant, beautiful blue.

We dozed fitfully, the exhaustion of the night before catching each one of us in a rush.

There were two that didn't so much as sleep a wink, however.

"How is he?" I murmured, trying to peer around the craned neck of our savior and only able to see the dizzying drop below. I reeled back, feeling my stomach cram its way into my spine as it tried to get as far away from the sight as possible. Ori looked green, his eyes darting down and back up in ticks.

Dori had gotten over the heightened emotions of only an hour before, his body leaning far enough out that I let out a little squeak of alarm, both Ori and I grasping onto the back of his coat. "I don't know," our eldest brother finally admitted. "I think… I think I can see his chest rising and falling though. He's still alive at least."

Still alive wouldn't allow us to continue on. Still alive and dead could either be very close or very far apart.

My eyes drifted to the eagle just behind us, the pair on its back still as statues. They had been that way since the moment they had been saved, their voice calling out every once and a while to see if they could rouse their uncle. My heart ached for Fili and Kili, the distant throb of being so close to someone and not being able to help, making it hard to breathe for a moment.

"We're landing," Ori breathed. My stomach did an uncomfortable drop as we soared down, down down, skimming just above the tips of a flurry of trees. We had landed safely within a few moments at the peak of a rocky hill, the trees a shadow all around us.

"Thank you," I whispered to the bird as we slid off and the downy head of the eagle tipped in my direction, the black pits of his eyes taking me in with silent intelligence. I felt a thrill as he tipped his head down, his eyes never leaving mine. If they could talk, they didn't give us the pleasure and for all my fondness of dwarves, my kind was crash with manners and sparring in pleasantries. I didn't entirely blame the magnificent eagles for simply leaving us as they did. Unlike most creatures, they didn't seem to delight in thanks and praise. They merely did as they were asked and left, uncaring or unwilling to allow more than passing fondness.

"Thorin!"

I turned at Kili's cry, watching as the final member of our party slipped onto the hard stone ground, his body strangely limp. A pulse of dread tightened my chest as I drew closer, trying and failing to catch Fili's eyes as he knelt beside his uncle, his face a mask of pure, frigid tension.

Blood and raw skin marred the king's face, his chest rising slowly and painfully on each breath. I could see a large hunk of his armor ruined along his chest, the thick clot of blood turning his dark leathers and cloth to obsidian. As I watched, Gandalf crouched beside him, his hand reach out and passing once and then again over Thorin's face. His eyes squeezed shut as he spoke a series of soft, foreign words.

No one spoke, the feeling of dread and anxiety growing thicker by the second. If Thorin didn't awake… if he wasn't there to lead us…

My mouth went cottony at the thought.

A small gasp brought me out of my dark thoughts, my eyes shooting to Thorin. His eyes rolled around the clearing, disoriented and weak. But they were open. He was alive. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding, sagging slightly. Across the way, Fili's eyes leapt to me, his shoulders dropping with obvious relief. His eyes shone a bright clear blue in the morning light, the tired creases of his face seeming a little less as his uncle exchanged quiet words with Gandalf.

I gave him a tentative smile, my insides lighting as Fili's teeth flashed in a bright grin.

Dwalin and Kili helped Thorin up, supporting him as he struggled to stay on his feet. Whatever Gandalf had done, had obviously helped but his wounds seemed to be so bad…

"YOU!" I jerked, the harsh yell startling me just as much as the venom that Thorin held in his eyes as they tracked something just behind me. I hadn't noticed that the small hobbit had slipped to the very edge of the group, strangely separated from where the rest of us crowded. My stomach knotted as Thorin stepped forward, the swelling starting to form along his temple and cheeks making the scowl currently curling his lips so much worse.

The chubby lines that had previously made up Bilbo's face had seemed too hollow from the time that this journey had started to now. His eyes were mooned with deep purple, marks of sleepless nights and increasing troubles. His hair that had seemed to bounce with every step, curling around his ears in friendly ringlets was matted and flat now. The soft smile that had curled his lips had Thorin's awakening had grown a bit smaller, a bit more worried.

"What were you doing?" My brows furrowed. What did he mean? What had happened while we had been on that cliff. Thorin's breath seemed to come in shallow draws, his words pulled from him in tight lines. "You nearly got yourself killed!"

I had never heard Thorin's voice so rough, his words so near breaking. It shocked me, made me reel as Bilbo's face sunk a bit deeper into shame, his cheeks reddening.

"Did I not say that you would be a burden?"

I leaped forward, snarling. Whatever Bilbo did, he definitely didn't deserve to be dressed down so publicly. "Now, you wait a min-"

Strong hands curled around my shoulders, stopping me. Hot breath tickled at my ear as Fili pulled me back into the broad expanse of his chest. "Wait."

Thorin drew closer to the small hobbit, his back so broad that it nearly engulfed the sight of him from my view. A roar of protectiveness made me stiffen in Fili's hold. If not for the strong grasp of his hand at my shoulder, I would have surely leapt forward.

"That you would not survive in the wild?" Bilbo took an unsteady step back, his eyes meeting mine in one fearful, humiliated glance over Thorin's shoulder. I felt it like a slap, my teeth gnashing. Bilbo and I weren't particularly close. We didn't speak very often when all was said and done. But there was a smallness in him that reminded me of myself, a bone-deep uncertainty that I felt to my very core. I had felt the same way in the Blue mountains. I had been made to feel the same way so many times in my life that if I closed my eyes, I could imagine myself clearly in his spot right now. It tore at me.

"Wait," Fili breathed, his arm coming to wrap around my waist. His body felt warm and strong at my back, his breath even as he kept me tucked safely at his back.

"That you had no place amongst us?" A small, hurt sound burst from my lips, there and gone as Thorin finally stopped to stand in front of Bilbo's small, shaking form.

Fili's lips brushed against my temple, his beard scratching at the sensitive skin there. "You belong with us, amrul. You belong with me."

I felt like my heart would break in that moment. Like each syllable carried its own axe, hitting me with each strike.

"I have never been so wrong in all my life." The words were so unexpected that I gasped, reeling as Thorin grasped Bilbo, dragging him into the wide expanse of his chest. I watched as the hobbit's curly hair disappeared, tangling with the darker strands of Thorin's, his face pressed tightly to the curve of Thorin's throat.

A long whooping cheer burst from the dwarves around me, the feel of Fili's lips curling up into a smile against my temple making my heartache.

"I told you to wait," he whispered smugly to me. His eyes twinkled as he loosened his grip enough that I could turn to look up at him. "Always so ready for a fight, love."

Heat seared across my face at his teasing tone, my heart giving a dopey leap. "I thought he was going to push him off the side of the hill."

"Mm," my prince murmured, his eyes slipping to just over my shoulder. A small secretive smile curled his lips at what he saw. "No. I don't think he will… I think he's quite… infatuated."

I blinked. What an odd choice of words.

Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Thorin's head bent to Bilbo's upturned face, the hobbit's lips split in a shy smile. Looking at them, speaking softly to each other, that word felt right though. I turned an eye back to the golden-haired prince, bringing a hand up to push away a few braids that had slipped forward. His eyes softened with the touch, his head leaning to the side as I tucked them behind his ear.

Blue like the churning of a deep lake caught me, holding me there with him. "I won't be able to court you how I want to, love," he finally whispered and I let out a slow, quivering breath as his hand came to my nape, cupping the slender column of my throat in a possessive hold. "Not how I would if we were back home. But I don't want there to be any illusion as to what will be happening the entirety of this trip. I will be courting you. I will be asking for your hand and speaking with your brothers. If you wanted me to, I would go to the corners of this earth and find your parents as well."

My breath caught, insides and twisting heating at the quiet determination on his face.

His voice lower to a gentle caress, his nose skimming mine as his head dipped forward. This close, his eyes looked almost unnatural, the blue so vivid that it felt like I was being tugged forward into another world made of churning seas and cloudy, lightening struck skies. "Tell me if you don't want this. Tell me if you don't want me now. This is your last chance."

Dwarves didn't marry for convenience or pact. There were too few females to allow for such frivolity. When we married, we were tied together. That was why the courting process was so long. That was why the marriage ceremony was so intricate. What he was offering wasn't a light offer. It was a step to eternity.

I felt something small and feeble cry out inside of me, old insecurities starting to rear up inside me. He was a prince. And I - no matter how much this journey had changed me - I was still a halfling. I was still…

"Are you-" My voice waned, breaking pitifully. "Are you sure you want… you want someone like me?"

His eyes burned into mine. "I can't make you see yourself the way I do," he whispered and his voice was gruff, low and warm. His other hand came to cup my cheeks, caging me in so I couldn't look away from him. His forehead pressed to mine, his body close enough that I could feel every breath roll into my chest, every movement as his body shifted around me. "I can only speak to how you make me feel - who you are to me." His breath was warm and wet against my lips, a strange intimacy. "I read your letters so much that I can hear your voice even when you aren't with me. I feel your thoughts like they're my own. I know what you love, the things that keep you awake when you get up in the middle of the night. You like apples - apple pies and tarts - I bet you would die for one right now. You're fast and strong and smart and even when you're scared you're still able to move forward and help others. Those are the things that I want in a partner. I would worship you if I could. I would make you a queen right now if you want me to. If you asked me to destroy a room, I would find the nearest inn and give you my swords. If you wanted to scream, I would give you my chest so that no one would hear you. I love you, Tori. I've loved you for so long that when I saw you again, I thought that you surely knew it. I've had you with me for so long that I couldn't imagine a world in which you couldn't feel the miles between us as acutely are I did. I never thought I would love someone like this - this fiercely even though all I heard were your words through ink and paper."

He took a deep shuddering breath and I shuddered with him, quivering as those blue, blue eyes wrapped me up so tightly that I thought for a moment we were one and the same.

"If you denied me today, I would accept it." His voice cracked with pain, eyes pinching a bit at the thought. "I love you enough to give you the world or take it away if you wanted. I would leave this journey tomorrow if you said the word. I would do anything that you wished because I've found… I've found that even if you rip yourself away from me, even if you marry another, even if you walk away - I've found that I'll love you all the same. So… all I can give you is my words - I'll accept your decision. But what I won't accept is some misconception on your part. About who you are to me. About what you mean to me. You -" His breath burned against my lips, his words raw as he forced them out. "You are everything."

Why did love feel so similar to dying? His words ripped at me, tearing me open until I felt so vulnerable and safe all at once. Love, I had found, felt like a contradiction. It felt like two worlds colliding, two realities meeting in a collision that could either bring destruction or retribution.

I pushed all of the doubt and insecurity away. Fili was mine. He was the only thing that I had ever truly wanted for myself - and maybe - maybe someday I would feel like I deserved him. For now, I would settle for being able to reach up and feel his lips on mine, feel his warm breath roll along my tongue.

"Yes," I breathed into his kiss and his groan met my tongue, his arms wrapping around my waist as he crushed me to him.


Thank you for all the people that have read up until this point - we finally made it past movie 1! If you like it, please consider leaving me a comment or a kudos or even going and taking a look at my other stories. I've been REALLY trying to get people to look at Where Wishes Lay since that's my newest but hey, you all can leave me to cry in the corner - that's what I usually do on a Sunday anyway.