Chapter 26: Trial of Unity
The sudden addition of Fili's beads in my hair felt too heavy. I didn't know why I had felt so confident only a moment before - probably some of Fili's absurd optimism getting to me. I felt the wet spots on my shirt with startling clarity, dragging my braid forward as I tried to hide any indication of the activities only a moment before.
By the way that Nori was scowling at me, I highly doubted I had succeeded.
"Nice of ye to join us," my red-haired brother grumbled and Ori leaped up, blushing as he brought over the newly repaired vest for me to shrug on quickly.
Fili didn't seem fazed in the least, his head held high as he strode confidently closer. "I was giving her my first courting gift. It took some time."
I resisted the urge to give further explanation, the words welling up in my throat as my younger brother caught sight of the new beads in my hair and gasped. His eyes searched mine out. "You're getting courted by a prince," he breathed, his cheeks reddening with glee.
"Don't say that," I snapped back just as quietly, pinching him until he let out an offended squeak.
He glared back at me, reaching back to pinch my arm just as brutally until I let out a yip. "Am I wrong?"
"I-" Fili had turned, his eyes lit to a summer sky in the firelight. I felt any denial halt in my throat at the softness in his expression, my whole body warming, my heart giving an uncomfortable ache. I tore my gaze away before I did anything embarrassing, blushing. "Just - don't call it that."
"Well, our brothers are about to call it something," he murmured, leading me back to the sitting group. "So I suggest you come up with a proper term soon, sister."
Nori and Dori were looking at Fili with open disdain, their brows pulled low over blazing eyes. Across from them, Thorin's face was unbearably blank, his cool gaze taking in the exchange with calm indifference. Kili seemed to be the only one truly enjoying this besides Ori.
Uncertainly, I stood at Fili's shoulder, unsure of what to do. For the first time in my entire life, I didn't entirely think that I should sit beside my brothers, the sudden lack of ease unbalancing. My stomach twisted sickly, the next gulp I took harsh as it slid down my throat.
Dori's eyes slid to me, a silent command there as he tipped his chin to the empty space beside him. Usually, the bride's family took in the groom's offer together as a united front. But nothing about this was normal. And I didn't want… My eyes slid to the tense cast of Fili's back. I could see the unease simmering just beneath the calm, princely exterior, his eyes skipping from person to person as if he was calculating something that didn't particularly make him happy. I didn't want him to feel alone.
My fingers drifted forward without thought, curling lightly around the firm muscles of Fili's forearm, noticing as his shoulders jumped slightly at the contact. He drew in a slow breath, his eyes still never leaving our family.
"You know that usually, the families have to approve the union before the courtship begins." It wasn't a question. There was disapproval in Nori's voice as he stared hard up at Fili, his lips clamped shut.
Fili's face smoothed, giving away nothing. "I understand."
Dori's eyes hardened, and on the other side, Ori shifted, his gleeful expression quickly dissolving into discomfort.
"You know we need to talk about your intentions," Dori said, his voice only a fraction less intimidating than my other brother. I gulped down another breath, feeling queasy as Thorin's eyes lit with unmistakable contempt.
Thorin's voice was filled with dark annoyance, his words measured. "Are you trying to say that my nephew would lead Tori on?"
Dori didn't even bat an eye. "No." His head tipped to the side in a light shrug. "I'm trying to say that they're both young-"
"Over 70-" I snapped, hackles rising.
"Exactly." Dori's glare had the desired effect. I cowered like a cornered babe, flinching behind Fili before I could stand too long in the face of such an expression. Fili's head tipped to the side, one eye taking me in with momentary concern. "Barely a babe. Hormones-"
"Please don't talk about my hormones," I bit out, still hiding behind Fili's back.
"I don't want to hear about her hormones," Ori stated blandly.
Kili's voice drifted to me, edged with the same vacant disgust. "I don't rightly want to hear about my new sister's hormones either."
"Not your sister-" Nori snapped.
"Not yet-" Dori hissed.
"Oh, do shut up, Kili," came Thorin's exasperated whisper.
I blinked rapidly, trying to clear the burning embarrassment from my cheeks.
"The fact remains that she's too young to truly know what she wants. So is Fili - barely a few decades older. Why I remember-"
I peeked around Fili's shoulder, yelling petulantly. "Oh, we all know what you were doing, you old hen. Don't regale us about your knitting patterns and discovery of teapots, please-"
A blood vessel throbbed in my eldest brother's temple. "I should throttle you-"
"I'd like to see you try, you old cod," I huffed, creaking from behind Fili a bit more to fume at him. They were being ridiculous. And obnoxious. "I'm certainly old enough to contend with you. If you're not too afraid of my hormones-"
"You little-!" His color rose to a vibrant red.
My color probably looked much the same. "You little-"
"Stop!" I scuttled right back behind Fili, the sound of Nori's voice raised and rageful. He was the carefree one. He was the one who laughed during a fight, who stole your food and gave you cookies when Dori had told you to get to bed. My insides shivered with terror and panic. He never raised his voice. Never. "Tori. Tori, get out from behind Fili so that we can talk to you like a grown adult."
I hated that he was right.
Slowly, painfully, I inched my way from behind Fili, my fingers clamped around his wrist as I tried not to let the tingling sense of dread take me over. I remembered what I had said to him only a few days ago. Please don't take him from me. Please. I didn't know what I would do if they decided not to endorse our union. Dwarves mated for life. One was all we got and most of the time one was never even given. It was why my brothers were all single. Why it took so long for us to mature. Why females were coveted. Fili was my one. He was mine and had been for so long. Would I risk my brother's relationships for him though?
"Tori." I forced my gaze to his, hating the softness there. Hating that I wanted to please them so much. "I know what it feels like to be in love. I know what it feels like to want to spend your life with another. Even without the mating call, we can still feel these things." Surprise and curiosity zinged along my spine. My brother in love? "But I also know what how it feels to lose that thread as well. I know how it fades over time. I want you to be sure. I want you to be really sure about this." His gaze slid to where Fili stood, solid as a rock, behind me. "Both of you."
I didn't need to think about it. Not really. Would one night change the way that I felt about Fili? After so many decades? After so many nights of waking up with his love surrounding me?
"Fili is mine," I forced out thickly, trying not to wilt into myself or glance back at the prince in question. Self-doubt thickened my blood, pressing down on my spine until I wanted to curl into a ball. Was I making a fool of myself? Would he deny me now? Had it all been fake? I shook it off, forcing my voice to steady. "And I am his."
Fili's voice was strong, his side pressing to mine as he slid an arm around my waist, dragging me into his warmth. "Tori is my mate. She has been for a while." His eyes drifted to me and I couldn't help the way my skin warmed with a blush as his gaze traveled slowly over the lines of my face. "When she left the mountain, it felt like she took a part of me with her - a part that I had been ignoring, and that ignorance slowly ate away at me until I couldn't ignore the hole anymore. This isn't fleeting." He gave me a soft smile, his thumb making reassuring circles along my waist before he turned back to my brothers, his expression hardening. "Your sister loves you very much." I blushed, seeing the same sort of shocked acknowledgment travel through my brothers. "There's no world in which she can live happily without having you in it and I won't bear that. I'll do whatever needs to be done to make this right - to make you accept my courtship."
My stomach tightened as I watched my brothers. They were keeping their emotions so close - I didn't even know what direction their inclination leaned toward. Inside, the rapid beat of my heat, whispered a steady plea. Accept us. Please. Accept us. Moments passed in silence and I finally recognized the lack of noise behind me. The games had stopped, all chatter simmering down to infrequent whispers. We had an audience. I gulped down my own embarrassment. This felt… invasive. The exposure that this brought to me wasn't something I was used to.
Finally, Nori let out a long breath, shutting his eyes for a moment before opening them. "You know what needs to be done."
I let out a harsh breath, blinking up at Fili as he gave a short nod, his eyes narrowed in consideration.
The Dwarven custom of courtships was long and arduous. Sometimes it took years for one to actually even begin and sometimes it took decades for a union to actually be made. I hoped for our sake that that wasn't the case but at the moment, the tight-lipped way that my brothers were looking up at us made me think that that would be the case. Which was fine.
I let out another measured breath turning to stare up at the strong lines of Fili's face, his long, straight nose. The glow of the nearby fire made his heavy brow seem more severe, that concentrated crease between his brow almost brutal. His honey hair glimmered in the light, contrasting harshly between deep dark bark and the gold of fresh ore being found. His eyes tracked me, crystal blue with shots of gray and he pressed his forehead lightly to mine, bringing a big hand up to cup my nape, possessive and reassuring all at once. "Omdim, kurdel."
I blinked up at him, taking in the gentle curve of us lips. I let my lips curl into a smile, letting some of the relief show. The first step to a courtship was always a test of skill. It was to determine if the pair could take care of each other - that they had some ability to provide for the other. Fili and I were warriors so our only option was to fight and in this case the only contenders would be…
I turned, breaking out hold, determination stealing my words. "I'll go first."
Someone crowed behind me, obviously enjoying themselves.
"Brave girl," Dwalin rumbled behind me, and I wasn't too sure about how much I agreed. This seemed foolhardy. Pathetically hopeful at best.
"Tori," Fili warned softly behind me but I didn't turn to talk with him. My eyes met my brother's defiantly before shifting to Thorin. Ignoring the tremor of my own uncertainty, I bowed my head.
"I'll be the first to go, my lord." I didn't want to think too hard about how unpleasant this was going to be.
Fili knew that my trial would probably be the worst of the two. My brothers were no slumps when it came to combat but the prospect of going against Thorin Oakenshield… was daunting. More than a trial of skills, perhaps, this was a trial of acceptance. Combat was never used to kill or even maim but if you couldn't pair up to a family's might, then there would be considerably more disdain when looking at a union. You needed to fight for your position, fight for your mate and in a way, fight for the acknowledgment of those that were going to support you through your marriage.
I gulped down a tremor, trying not to shake as I caught the king get to his feet from beneath my lashes. I wasn't sure that I would be able to win this if I was being honest with myself. But… he was weakened. And perhaps he would choose Kili instead-
"I'm feeling quite rejuvenated as it stands." My heart stopped, my stomach sinking in dread. Slowly, my eyes traveled along the steady tilt of Thorin's legs, the robust frame of his chest and the defined strength of his arms and shoulders before finally meeting the deadly winter of his eyes. A small smile tipped his lips upwards, his ebony hair tipped in silver, blowing softly in the wind. "You've shown yourself to be an adept warrior. Now I would like to see if you're good enough to be part of Durin's line."
Time ticked by in a queasy blur, whatever bravado I had had before draining out of me swiftly as I watched Thorin toss his blade from hand to hand. The others in the party had cleared a wide space for us, the fire crackling hungrily off to our side, casting most of the circle in near darkness. Bilbo had murmured concerned questions, his upturned brow showing how uncomfortable he was with this new development. That made two of us.
I palmed the heavy weight of my axes, suddenly damning my need for such clunky weapons. Axes of this size were good in brutal combat. They added weight to the swing and kept up good defense. But Thorin wasn't known for heavy swings or lumbering steps. He was known for quickness and wit, for using the environment around him to his advantage. Some whispered that his great-great-great-great grandfather had been an elf himself. That was why Durin's line was known to be taller and… well, why they looked so different. There was a refinement to their features that wasn't normal in other dwarves. Some said that all of them were just this side of ugly. I didn't really have any room for contemplation on the matter.
"You thought he would offer up me, huh." I gritted down a grumble of irritation at Kili's patronizing tone, his arms folded as he watched my shell-shocked form with… pity. Durin's beard, I fucking hated pity. He tsked me, shaking his head sadly as I glared at him. "You had to know that he wouldn't want to make it easy on you."
I swung my axe, stretching out my shoulders and arms as I tried to get some sort of preparation in. It wouldn't help but it was the least I could do for myself after I had got myself into this mess. All because I decided to fall in love with a prince. How idiotic.
"I'm a long-range fighter, Tori honey," Kili was drowning on, shaking his head some more with a put-upon sigh. "How would he have ever-"
I swung my axes, snarling as it slid into place beneath Kili's jugular. He stilled instantly, glancing down at the offending blade. "I will fucking maim you if you continue on with your blabbering, Kili."
He glanced once more between my murderous stare and the blade lodged against his adam's apple. A single brow quirked before he pointed at the axe. "See this? This is a prime example on why he wouldn't have chosen me."
I let out a wordless shriek, swinging away from him before I really did press my blades too far into his skin and cause actually damage. My nerves were shot. I hated to say it but if this was a mental game, Thorin would have already won.
"Why'd you do that?" Ori whimpered, hopping from foot to foot as he stared anxiously across the circle at where Thorin was currently standing, looking beyond bored. His sword swished idly back and forth like the noncommittal movements of an animals tail. "That's Thorin Oakenshield. We grew up on stories of his heroism-"
"I know who he is," I hissed. This wasn't helping. Talking to these people wasn't helping.
"You can still call off the whole mate thing," Nori called, looking down at his nails in extreme disinterest.
I sneered. "Piss off, Nori."
"I'll ask about that again when we're scraping your insides off the rock."
Cold terror burned along my insides. I gulped down an unsteady breath, floundering. Desperately, I searched out Dori's eyes. "Dori - Dori - he can't - he won't maim - hurt - hurt me, will he? No killing. Dori?"
My eldest brother hurried over, shushing me with a hand gentle hand over my hair. "No. No. No. Nori's just being a bit of a cunt right now-"
"Rich," Nori hissed, looking beyond offended. "You're always going on about curse words-"
Dori's eyes narrowed on our brother. "That's not a curse word. That's a noun. A general description of your personality right now."
Nori's eyes blazed. "Oh, yeah? Well, you're-"
"Are we ready to start, Miss Tori?" Thorin's voice boomed across the clearing, shutting up all of the brewing aggression that was starting in my corner.
Fili stood just behind his uncle, looking thoroughly unhappy with this whole arrangement. I stepped unsteadily into the circle opposite him, trying and failing to keep my own anxiety locked down. Fear did nothing in a battle. Fear made you clumsy. It made you second-guess yourself. But in this moment, as I stared across the clearing at the dwarf who I had sworn most of my life to, I couldn't help the bubbling acidic taste of it.
Fili surely saw it, his eyes narrowing as he stepped forward, yanking his uncle back to him with a firm hand on his arm. He whispered fiercely in his ear, Fili all rage and Thorin all amusement. Fili's teeth flashed moments before Thorin pulled away once again, striding deeper into the circle. I followed almost unwillingly, my axes feeling heavy and stiff in my own hands.
Thorin's eyes were silver ice, rolling waves in the coldest depths of the world. His long sword looked light and natural in his grip as he drew closer. In contrast, I felt weak, scared and rigid. If I didn't get my own fear under control soon, I would be lost. This fight would be over sooner than it started.
His eyes never left me as he called out to our companions. "This is a trial meant to test the strength of the possible union of my nephew, Prince Fili or Durin's line and his chosen mate, Tori of Durin's folk-" I couldn't help the flinch that came with my title - so small, insignificant next to Fili's. Just behind Thorin, I see Fili's eyes darken, his teeth flashing in clear displeasure as he glares at the back of his uncle's head. "As his uncle, I will be testing their bond and the potential of their unity."
He raises his sword before him, bowing his head slightly as he waits for me to do the same. And then there is nothing but silence, our eyes tracking each other like two animals that stumble upon each other in a glade. I can feel the chalky texture of my own spit coating my throat, the sweat already dampening my hands and back.
This is important.
I gulped down a breath, watching as he takes a measured step forward.
This might be the most important thing to happen to me.
His sword strikes just a hairs breath from where I just was, my body curving out of the way as I avoid his blow. I don't expect him to try and kick my legs out from under me. Gritting my teeth, I take the blow, dropping to my knees and bringing my axes around in an attempt to take out his legs. The court rules might have to go out the window. I might have to hurt him.
He dodges, stepping back with quick, sure feet and I stay where I am, drawing my axes back so that I can have some barrier between us. We stare. This isn't the way I usually fight. My weapons aren't meant for hiding. But dammit, I'm intimidated.
"What's she doing?" I hear Ori whisper anxiously in back of me.
"Being a scared little dwarf," comes Nori's cutting reply and I wither. He's right. I'm hiding.
I take Thorin's next two blows with considerably more grace, using the impressive bulk of my blades to absorb any real damage. And my lightness of foot keeps me out of the way of anymore kicks. Hiding. Still hiding. Not biding my time but wilting under each new assault. I'm smaller, thinner and more able to receive damage even with my weapons.
If this goes for too long, I can wear down easily. And I can already feel the beginning of that in my arms, tightening my back. My muscles are getting tired of taking blow after blow, of keeping up the defense.
Thorin sidesteps me while I'm scrambling, trying to come up with some kind of attack. The flat side of his blade slaps across my ankle, making me hiss out a breath and step away quickly, retreating once more.
"Tori." I hear the warning in Dwalin's words. He doesn't need to say anymore. I'm doing badly.
At my back, I can feel the burning of Fili's eyes.
The rock beneath my feet feels almost slippery as I take a step to the side, keeping my axes in front of me. Thorin is stalking me, his steps measured as he takes in my wary, slightly panicked expression. He looks… disappointed? Fuck. I'm fucking this up.
His blade slams into my axes before I'm ready, taking the breath out of me as he forces me back a step and then another. My arms shake as I try to hold his sword back, taking a pained breath in. I don't even realize that his knee is drawing up before it's slamming into my wrist.
And that's all it takes.
My defenses come crashing down, one of my axes clattering to the ground as Thorin adds even more pressure to me. I grit out a yelp, barely missing his blade as he drive it down. Sparks fly as his blade runs across rock and I go with my dodge, rolling into a ball as I try to get some distance between us.
But Mahal's beard he's right there, his figure looming above me as he brings his blade down again. A grunt rips from my throat as I drag my axe forward, barely protecting my chest. He's over me, my back flat on the ground as his sword bears down on where my axes is trembling only inches above my own chest. Sweat slicks my back and chest, my arms shaking uncontrollably as I try and level him further off.
His face is calm, his eyes running over me slowly and a chill goes up my spine at the smooth expression. Would he kill me? My gut tightens. In front of everyone? No. His eyes stop on something just beside me, his lips tipping up coldly. "Interesting selection of beads."
I hear someone growl behind me, low and furious. Fili. Thorin might kill me. He might actually- I grunt out a breath, twisting, my legs hooking onto one of his and throwing him off balance. There's no way in all of Middle Earth that I'll let him have his way. Not now. His blade bounces off of my axe as I shift, taking his next blow and using his momentum to shift his weight to the left. I go in fast, not thinking about how much this will hurt.
Crack! My skull slams against his, ripping a foul series of curses from his lips. Keep moving. Keep moving. Don't think about how you can barely see. I spin, ducking, barely turning my blade so that it isn't the ripping edge of my steel but the flat, paddle-like face that goes slamming into his side.
Someone whoops behind me.
But the celebration is short-lived. Thorin doesn't stumble to the side like any other normal opponent who doesn't enjoy the taste of pain would. Instead, he turns into it, his grip on the hilt of his sword changing as he flips it so that it's facing me again.
I let out a curse, dropping my axe before that blade can slice clean through my hands and darting quickly away. No weapon. I waver, gulping, watching as he steadies himself again with a grimace. He let's out a short huff, his foot colliding with my weapon and sending it skidding across the clearing. His smile is anything but amused as he tries to gather himself again. Thorin's cold gaze slides pointedly to my empty hands.
I don't give him the satisfaction of seeing how much that fact distresses me.
Speed. I've faster than the common dwarf. Fast will at least get me around his blade.
I duck, stepping quickly to the side as his blade zings past me, landing a quick punch to his exposed ribs before darting away once again. My breath is coming in hard gasps now, the duration of this fight wearing on me more than I would like to admit. Two daggers at my thighs, one at my waist still but those are all close quarters, killing weapons. I didn't want to draw them. But I don't have much of a choice now. I reach for the ones at my thighs, taking the curved, wicked things out. They're barely the length of half my forearm, brutally curved.
Someone behind me lets out a harsh breath.
"She has just as many blades as you do, brother," I hear Kili murmur, amused.
"Gorgeous, isn't she?" comes his soft reply.
My dagger flies through the air, slicing a clean line right toward Thorin's head. If he was even a little less skilled, I would be cursing myself. But he barely grits his teeth, his sword sliding up to block the blade. It was just a distraction anyway.
I'm beside him in a second, slamming a fist into his forearm, his eyes going comically wide as he takes in my sudden appearance. His hand loosens just a fraction but I take the opportunity, bringing my heel down into the vulnerable skin of his foot, a roar cutting through the night sky as his sword goes clattering to the ground.
If only he was normal. He seems to take all that pain I give and only let it stop him for a second, swallowing it down and turning into it. My other dagger twists out of my grip, the hard rock an unwelcome embrace as he drags me down to the ground by the arm. I let out a sharp yelp, my head spinning, the roars of the people around us. Something cold pressed into my throat, blood welling up and trickling down my skin as he panted over me, a dagger of his own against my vulnerable skin. His eyes were hard as he stared down at me.
"Yield," he panted out and I forced a smile through the throbbing in my head.
"Rethink that, my lord."
I tipped my dagger harder into his groin, watching as his brows rose in realization. For a moment, I thought that he might press down harder, maybe cut me open a little bit further. Slowly, like the sun being dragged from its slumber, the frost in his expression thawed, an odd twinkle lighting his eyes as he glanced down at where my blade was pressed into his trousers.
And then… he laughed.
I recoiled, staring up at him in horror as he roared with laughter, his whole body shaking as his head tipped back. It was… terrifying. Slowly, he leveled himself off of me, laughter still rumbling from him. His eyes twinkled merrily as he gave me a shrug, my hands still frozen where they had been, knife raised in a vague display of defense.
"I guess that ends things," Thorin rumbled, reaching down to drag me up. I let him, shell-shocked, unsure whether the fight was really over or if I should try and stab him in the gullet one more time. Stuck in the strange in-between, I stayed where I was frozen, staring at him in petrified silence as he grasped my shoulder, grinning down at me. "I would be honored if you courted my nephew, Tori."
I spluttered. I must have cracked my head against the rock and knocked myself out somewhere along the line.
Omdim, kurdel: Calm, heart of hearts.
