Chapter 34

News and healing

"Tauriel?" I said tired as I was for I did not feel her beside me or rather her head on my chest. That was when I heard the crash by the water goblet and I jumped out and moved over.

"Tauriel." I cried out and sat up and then I saw her. "Why did you not say you were thirsty?" it came out harsh, but it had to be said as she was about to try and get up as I hurried out of bed and over to her.

"I cannot even go by myself to get water, of what use am I?!" she responded with sadness and frustration.

I sat down beside my sad wife and pulled her to me. Nude as we both were as the day we came out of the womb.

"You need time my love. The poison is not of low potency…" I tried to say yet her frustrations shone through.

"What if this is who I am now? What if I am destined to need aid even for the slightest of things? What if I forever see the darkness in my mind at night!" her tone sad yet harsh.

"You see darkness in your mind?" I said with worry.

"You care not for the other things? My body feels broken Elwen… I cannot stand by your side anymore… you care not about that?" As she spoke I saw a tear down her cheek.

"Of course I do Tauriel, my love. But the darkness might help us find a cure. You are strong and young. There is no reason the after-effects of the poison should hold you back… you might need time…" I tried to say.

"Nay Elwen if this is what I am to be I do not want it…"

"Do not give up on me so soon… I beg you, my love. If I cannot aid you I will find who can. If it must be ada or Mithrandir or my grandmother!" I said firmly

She did not respond to me, her head just rested slowly on my shoulder and the tears came, it was like the waterfall of the valley. Tauriel was losing herself and I could do little if any to aid her and it killed me inside as it did her. Her arms came around me as I lifted her and carried her to our bed, slowly pulling our covers over her I went into our bathroom and grabbed a cup of water for her as I walked back I looked at the beauty of the woodland realm in my bed… yet now it seemed to me not like a tree during spring in full bloom, but in late fall, its leaves falling off and despair comes around it.

"My love?" I asked and her head turned yet she said nothing. "water" I said and she grabbed it a faint smile came and I got back into our bed and her head found my breast again after she had her drink and the cup stood on our night stand. She felt cold like the morning of the first day of autumn. But I said naught of it. She had too much to worry for and so did I.

Sleep was hard to come by as I felt her drift off. I could not stop thinking of what chant of our people might help, or what plant could have a cure, or what way I could heal her outside those two possibilities. But in the end, I lost the fight and woke only when the sun lit up my face a few hours later. To the sight of our handmaiden standing there. Her face was worried and she had brought what seemed like churches for Tauriel to use as she moved about, but her face changed when she saw me awake.

"My lady." And a bow followed. "I am so happy to see you both back and alive" she managed a little smile reassuringly.

"Thank you Estelwen, it is good to be home," I said and smiled tired as I still was. Yet I did play with Tauriels hair and kissed her head.

"Lady Celebrian asked me if you both will come down for breakfast with her and Lady Arwen…" The moment it was said the gritty voice of Tauriel spoke her eyes still shut.

"Nay I will not, I will stay here." Estelwen looked at her as she spoke.

"My lady, I have gone by the healing ward and I found a pair of…" she was not even allowed to finish.

"I said I will stay here." This time her tone was harder. But not in a mean way.

"My love. They would love to…" I tried to speak.

"See me weak and of no use? Have the servants seen me as an invalid? One that cannot even walk to find herself water during the night? Of course, it would be funny to see!"

My face dropped yet I could understand her frustration.

"My love…" I said to which I was met with her eyes looking up at me with anger in them.

"Leave me Elwen. GO" and she got off me and turned away from me.

"Tauriel!" I let out frustrated.

"Go…." She let out again now with a sad tone.

Estelwen saw it all and I could see her wanting to speak, but she held her tongue. But moved to get me a morning dress and my criclet when I got out of bed. I was not sure what to say or what I could say to make my wife feel better. She dressed me quickly and saw I was not eager to leave the room with my gaze always going back to my wife and her body that did not move at all.

"Estelwen, can you please get her some food and keep her comp…." I tried to say, but at a huff and sad tone came from the bed.

"I said GO and I meant the both of you. LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"We only want to help…!" I responded and she turned and sat up very quickly and it winded her.

"ELWEN GET OUT!" she screamed like none had screamed in our house before.

"Fine… I will leave! Estelwen come!" I went towards the door and our handmaiden followed me and hurried to open the door for me and shut it the moment she could.

"What am I to do? Estelwen… she won't listen to me…!" I said in a fury of despair and worry.

She looked at me as her hand left the door and said nothing, just came over and hugged me.

"She will be fine my lady, of that I have no doubt. But it is hard for her. She is also Silvan and has fiery blood and a spirit. Like us, she is also an elf. We are used to doing what seems impossible to the edain in the way of movement and now she is not able to do what she knows she can. Do not lose hope, my lady. I know you and the healers will help her" she said and pulled back. "Now go down to your nana and sister. I will find food for the lady and keep her company, even if she doesn't want it yet.

"Thank you, my friend. You take so good care of us" I said and smiled before I gave her another hug.

"It is my pleasure, my lady. Now go" she said and hushed me away.

It was strange being home. For so many years I had been at the front line fighting the enemy. Having a roof over my head and walls to hold the elements out felt strange and so would many other things feel as stations meant little out there compared to in here. Several servants bowed to me as I met them and I bowed back, strangely it felt like the time I arrived in Imladris a long time ago. Many lifetimes of humans had it been.

"SISTER!" I heard a cry and it could only be Arwen. I turned and she ran over and hugged me so hard.

"I cannot believe you are home. After so long, where is Tauriel? I need to hug her as well!" She was so excited it warmed me greatly as she spoke.

"I am sister, I am, Tauriel is in our room resting… she…" I cut myself off.

"Say nothing of it, she needs rest from what was said at your arrival. Come Nana must be waiting for us! Hurry!" she said with a smile and dragged me along.

The doors to the dining room were opened quickly and there Nana sat and looked up at us. Her face turned into a great smile and she rushed up and hugged us both hard.

"My daughters are both at home, still I cannot believe so. Ohh bless the Valar!" she said loudly.

"Now where is my daughter-in-law? She should eat with us."

"Tauriel needed rest," I said quietly and I could not hide my disappointment.

"Yes… her injury is healing well is it not?" Nana asked as she motioned for us both to sit.

Servants then pulled our chairs out and we all sat down.

"The physical injury is healing well. But there is something else. Something I cannot fathom." I said with worry.

"What is it?" Both of them asked me.

"It is as if her body is limited. Her movement strains her energy quickly and…" I stopped myself.

Both of them looked at me intensely.

"What sister?" Arwen finally asked.

"It is as if the poison or the aftermath of it limits her… weakens her… it tears on her mind and spirit… If I knew not any better I would say she is getting depressed and sad rapidly by the day" I looked at them as I spoke.

At this, I could see them both worry. We all knew what would happen to an elf that lost their will to live and their spark died out. Nana more than most as she had lived it with me when I came here. For even though she knew me not. She was attached to me.

"Elwen I do not wish to wait longer than we must. Eat now and we will send for Erestor and Mithrandir. He is set to come by the valley soon and we may find him if we send out riders!" Her hasty tone felt both scary and reassuring to me. "Nenneth, please send word for Erestor that we will come to him after our meal and send riders out as well. To look for Mithrandir with the message. In Imladris, the pilgrim is needed. Now go!"

Her new servant said nothing and sped out of the room and our meal was served. Little more did we say except me telling of the siege from our point of view and the situation over the mountains. Even though I had little wish to speak of it.

After our meal was eaten we all moved to the office of the high scholar of Imladris Erestor. I had little hope even with his grand wisdom I knew not what he could tell me that I knew not already from Ada's teachings.

Arwen was eager to support me and give me her comfort yet I found no aid in them. My worry for my wife had set deep in my fea and only her return to the one I knew would bring me back to my happy self.

As we arrived at the office Nana knocked on the door as we arrived and a slow "Enter" came from the other side of the door.

"My ladies," he said dryly as we entered. "Of what aid may I be this day" he added as he slowly closed a book.

"Dear Erestor" Nana started. Do you know of any illness or effect of poison that might drain an elf of their energy and darken their mind?" she asked.

He looked straight at me.

"Please master of lore and the elder days" Arwen added. "My sister's wife is ill and we need your aid. If Elwen knew not what it might be you are the last remaining here that may" she added.

He looked at her and back to me.

"I know not…" he said before he stopped himself.

"It sounds little as poison to me, or if it was it may have been used to affect the victim with a curse or spell?" he said rhetorically.

"If that is so, what can I do to heal her? I tried all I knew after she was struck with it and though the poison seemed gone her mind and body still suffer from what it may be" I said.

"Hmmm," Erestor said and hummed as he got into deep thought.

"Is there nothing you can think of?" Nana then said.

"Lord, is there truly nothing we may do?" Arwen added.

"I wish for you both to go to Lady Elwen and Lady Tauriel's room. Keep her company and make sure she eats well. I and Lady Elwen will have to do some research. We might need to send riders to look for Mithrandir if that is not done already" he said while thinking and pacing back and forth.

"It has been done and we will do so if you think it may aid her," Nana said firmly.

"Is there nothing else we may try to aid her, but to sit with her? No plants we might use for healing? No words of our kin to revive her spirit to life?" Arwen said sadly, but she felt for me and my wife and was thankful for it.

"Not yet sister. But I ask as Lord Erestor has already done. Please sit with her, and keep her spirits up, even though I know it will be hard. Her mood is already foul…" I said with a sad face.

"We will do what you must!" Nana said and with that we all left the office of Erestor, him and me going for Ada's library and Arwen and Nana for my room.

When we entered the room Erestor looked at me and said quite gravely.

"Now my lady please tell me of what happened. Every moment you know." And so I did. From the trip over the mountain to Morgan, the other people falling ill, the dark clothes, the orcs, the Nazgul, the charge and stab wound from the orc, and what happened after.

He said little and took out books and turned a few pages before putting them back and finding new books.

"and that was all. All I know" I said as I looked at him and I felt frustrated of how little he responded to me.

"None of it sounds out of bounds or why she is this way… but I fear we miss something and something big it must be" he looked at me and sat down hard in one of the chairs.

"So you feel there is nothing we can do?" I asked with desperation in my voice.

"We will do everything we can, my lady. But I fear we might need Mithrandir to aid us." He said and put down another book before he reached for another. So did the day pass from morning to evening and we decided to end for the day. I dreaded to walk back to my room and see my wife so different from who she was, but I had to. I had to see her.

It was quiet in the house now; the servants were cleaning but said little. They bowed to me and that was it and the halls felt empty. Most of the ones left in Imladris were common elves living further down the valley or warriors stationed around as guards or in training for what was to come.

That was when I came to our door and I took a deep breath and opened it. There she was the beauty of Greenwood the Great resting in our bed. As if she was asleep. None were with her and I moved quietly over to her as I had shut the door. Slowly I got into bed, still clothed, and held around her.

"Why do you stay? Who do you make them sit with me? Why don't you just let go of me?" I heard in a low tone from my wife.

"Because I love you, my wife. Until the ending of the world!" I responded firmly and kissed her cute pointy elf ear.

"I am broken Elwen. I cannot ride with you. Go for walks with you. Make love with you. Why do you want this?" her demeanor cold.

"The edain have a saying, my love. In sickness and in health." I said and turned her face towards me. "I will never let go Tauriel. Not ever not if I have to take an arrow or blade to save you. I will never let you go. Even at the ending of the world, I will hold you like never before!"

Her eyes looked at me as the first time we met, her hand on my cheek. "What does in sickness and in health mean?" she curiously asked.

"It means that no matter what the love is eternal. In good days to bad days. In darkness and light. Tauriel. The Edain live so short lives and I know not where they go after their death. Yet they swear to each other to live and support each other no matter if one gets ill. If one gets hurt or the days are trying on one and not the other."

"They are true to each other." She said and her forehead rested on my chin.

"I swear by all the Valar and Eru himself. Tauriel I will never let go. Never will I leave you, never will I stop loving the elf mate of my long everlasting life."

That was when her eyes looked up at me. She said nothing in words, but those eyes said it all to me.

The weeks and months after were better and worse, some she had no strength at all, and others we could walk short trips in the gardens. But she did struggle and there was no doubt in it.

One morning I sat alone in the gardens where we long ago talked to my grandmother and looked on a bright future together… ohh how I wish to be back then. But alas that was not possible. My own strength had weakened over time and I had cried myself to sleep many times after I was sure my love was asleep before me.

Many tried to come up to me and talk yet none of them found the words to do so. Or I believed. For they all turned and went back. Arwen and Nana tried to hold me and Tauriel up and motivated, but the fact nothing of our elven magic, herbs, or remedies Erestor and I mixed had any effect crushed me even if I did not show Tauriel. Or I tried to hide it but felt as if I failed miserably and in my sadness I did not hear or feel who walked up on me.

Lanneth the little elfling from long ago that my wife had helped or rather her Nana. She said nothing but came, sat with me, and bowed her head before doing so. She said nothing at first and only kept me company before speaking softly.

"She is strong, she will be well my lady" I looked up at her and her sweet smile was on me.

"How can you know?" I responded, tired as I was.

"She has the best elves in Imladris looking after her, when Lord Elrond returns he will also care for her, and I have no doubt Lord Mithrandir will return the sooner when our riders find him," she said.

I tried to smile, but it broke quickly and I did something I had not done before.

"My ada will not return to Imladris for months yet, for the siege of the foul fortress will last for a year," I said and took a breath. "What of Mithrandir I know not. He was meant to be here by this time and is not yet found. I fear time is running out Lanneth… her good days are less and less and her dark days are taking over. A darkness is over Imladris and I know not why!" I said and at the end, frustration took over and I screamed it.

"Do not take my words as a comparison, my lady. But I remember the will of Lady Tauriel when she helped my Nana. Even when she was new in her role as your mate she stood up for what she believed in. She will fight it and you will bring her back to us. I do not doubt it!"

"This is different…" she cut me off and looked at me. "I have seen it… my lady… I have seen much as of late. I did not dare to tell my Nana or Ada… for I have seen much darkness in years to come. But I have seen light as well. A dark-haired elf with grey eyes… very beautiful beside her redhead green-eyed wife on the barricades fighting for our people…" She stopped and looked at me. "Please excuse me… I…" she stopped and got up.

"Lanneth!" I said and she stopped as I got up. "Tell me what else you saw… I know how foresight works and how you see several endings to one line of the future"

"I also saw death… a long and slow death…" she responded after a long moment of silence.

"Tauriel…" I let out and cried as I fell to my knees.

"Not Lady Tauriels death… yours my lady…"