Chapter 7: Don't know how to be so close to someone so distant
Adrien sat alone on a wooden picnic table in a field surrounded by woodland, his arms resting on top of its damp surface. The condensation was slowly morphing through the sleeves of his jacket and against his skin, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Everywhere was damp right now.
It wasn't raining, but the thick layer of clouds above wouldn't allow any sunlight to penetrate through, so it made sense why nothing was completely dry. He rubbed his hands together, trying to fuse some warmth back into them. The biting chilliness was exactly what he'd expected it to be on a freezing November afternoon, as Fall bled into Winter and the temperature dropped.
All in all, it meant that sitting on this bench was not the most comfortable of experiences, and Adrien was growing more bored by the second.
But he technically wasn't here alone. His friend-group had all just been tasked with different roles. Nino had been assigned to buy the fries, the two girls were currently retrieving the milkshakes, and, well, his job had been to find a free table for the four of them to sit at, and bagsy it before anyone else could steal it.
Adrien was the Bench Friend. And he was pretty sure everyone in the world could agree that this was the worst role to be given. He literally had to sit there by himself like a dweeb whilst his friends all got to actually do something, and he just ended up looking like The One Who Didn't Want To Help.
He'd offered. They'd refused. Maybe to be nice? However, there was nothing nice about this situation.
Many of the other picnic tables in the field were also occupied: a huddle of teenage girls gossiped between themselves, babies screamed, children giggled and chased each other around benches, parents checked Facebook, a group of men drank pints.
Adrien paid them no attention though. There was only one thing on his mind right now. Just to check it was still there, he snuck his hand into his pocket, the beads chinking together as he dragged his fingers over them. He pulled the object out into the open.
It was by no means a masterpiece, but pride still thrummed through him as he stared down at his creation: a lucky charm made up of orange and blue plastic beads, complete with a golden goose wedged in the middle.
Knowing he was going to see her today, he'd spent last night carefully threading each bead onto a piece of string (which had taken an embarrassing amount of tries and incredible supply of patience). It didn't matter that it wasn't perfect, he'd decided. What mattered was it had the potential to make Marinette smile. And that was worth everything.
A little jet-black head with perked up ears appeared from within his jacket, reminding him that he was never truly alone.
"What's that?" Plagg asked, sniffing at the mysterious item as if testing its edibility.
Adrien's fingers instinctively closed around the beads, lest his kwami actually tried to eat it. "It's, ah... It's a lucky charm. I'm planning on gifting it to Marinette today."
Plagg's vibration of excitement buzzed through his shirt. "Ooh, you're finally confessing your feelings?"
"No, nothing like that." He shoved the piece of jewelry back into his pocket, suddenly self-conscious. "I just wanted to give her something nice."
"Kid, you've been pining after her for two whole months now. It's getting hard to watch."
Adrien glanced around to check no one had caught him talking to his shirt pocket. So far, so good. He looked down to glare pointedly at the kwami. "You know as well as I do, she doesn't see me as anything more than a friend."
Plagg scoffed. "Not with that attitude, she won't. How do you know she's not gonna fall for you if you don't give her a reason to? You can't stay in the friend zone forever!"
Adrien scowled at him. "Did you learn that term from Nino?"
"Maybe."
He sighed. "Either way, I don't want to start anything. It's not worth it." And it wasn't. He'd rather keep Marinette as a friend than lose her due to a failed romance, to have her in his life in any way than in no ways. She was too important to him.
And he was not in the business of actively trying to lose loved ones, when he of all people knew exactly what that felt like.
"What's the occasion then?" his kwami demanded, breaking him off from his spiral of thoughts. "Giving her a present out of nowhere seems pretty... how do you say it? 'Simpy'."
"Oh. Well, you know how it's been lately." Adrien shrugged his jacket tighter around himself. "Marinette's been kind of... distant. Alya said she hasn't really felt like being with her friends. And I get that. I do. But I haven't seen her in weeks, and I was super happy when she agreed to meet up with us today. And since this is our first hangout as a foursome in a long time, I figured I'd give her a 'welcome back to the group' gift."
"'As a foursome'," Plagg parroted. "You really have a way with words, kid."
"Adrien, there you are!"
Plagg disappeared out of sight as Alya advanced toward him with a smile, two tall milkshake glasses balanced in her hands. Marinette was in a similar predicament behind her, except she was doing slightly less competently on the whole 'balancing' part. No matter what surface she walked on, she always seemed to find it more slippery than everyone else.
"It's the shoes!" she'd protested, whenever a near-death-experience occurred. "These flats weren't designed for grip." But now that the days were colder, she'd switched to sturdy warm boots, and yet she was still struggling to stay upright most of the time.
Adrien snickered and shot to his feet, climbing over the bench. "Here, let me help." He reached for the glasses Marinette was holding. She smiled gratefully at him, and his pulse quickened. God, he'd missed her.
Immediately afterwards, her foot slipped on the dewy grass and she let out a squawk as she fell forward. Adrien, who'd only just gotten a good grip on the milkshakes, stepped back with a wince as she thumped to the ground, entirely out of hands to help catch her. A spew of yellow and brown leaves spattered into the air as a result.
He and Alya both immediately put all their drinks down on the table and then rushed over to help her up, each taking hold of an arm. Marinette huffed as she staggered to her feet and re-adjusted her purse, angrily staring down at the grass as if holding it personally responsible for her blunder.
"You okay, girl?" Alya picked out leaves from her disheveled hair. "I'm sorry, I should've warned you the ground was slippery."
"All good!" she said, hastily wiping pieces of grass off her faded gray sweater. "I knew we were going to be on a muddy field today, so I specifically wore an outfit I didn't care about getting dirty."
Adrien laughed. "We appreciate your efforts, but next time we're putting you on bench duty."
He noticed a streak of dirt smeared down the side of her face and instinctively reached out to clean it with his sleeve, actively ignoring the fireworks that erupted in his chest when they made contact with each other.
Just a friend, she's just a friend!
"There you go." He stepped back, heart still hammering, much to his dismay. "Mud gone."
Never one to let a clumsy incident ruin her mood, Marinette's demeanor remained cheerful as she made her way over to the picnic table, positioning herself on the bench and pulling the four milkshakes toward herself. "Right! Who ordered the other chocolate one?"
"That'll be me, girl," Alya said, sitting down opposite her. (Opposite her!) And if Adrien hadn't been watching, he would've missed the quick-as-a-flash wink Alya shot at him.
This was clearly a set-up. And he wasn't sure how to feel about it. Granted, he was overjoyed by the prospect of sitting next to Marinette, but also frustrated since Alya and Nino just didn't seem to understand that nothing could happen between the two of them.
Marinette pushed the correct glass towards Alya and moved onto the last two. "Uh, who's is the vanilla?"
"Mine," said Adrien, legs on autopilot and brain sparking with high voltage as he moved to join Marinette on her side of the bench.
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Seriously? You could've gone with any flavor, and you went with the most basic one?" Her eyes fell on the last unclaimed glass. "I'm guessing the blue one is Nino's?"
"Yep!" Alya reached for it and set the milkshake down in front of the bench's empty seat. "Bubblegum, his favorite."
Marinette blanched. "Adrien, I take back what I said about your milkshake. You're fine. Nino is the one we should all be afraid of."
"Agreed!" Nino sauntered toward their designated bench, carrying two massive paper boxes under his chin. He let them both crash to the table and sat down next to his girlfriend with an exhausted huff. "You should all be afraid of how much you're currently in dept to me. These fries are way more expensive than they were last year."
The blond immediately spoke up. "I'd be more than happy to—"
"Shut up, Adrien."
He begrudgingly complied with a defeated sigh. He shouldn't even have tried. As they'd told him time and time again, him being the 'rich kid' did not mean they wanted to bank on his allowance.
"But why?" he remembered asking, a month or so ago when they'd all been at the movie theater together and Alya couldn't afford to buy her own popcorn. (His dad had become surprisingly more lenient about letting Adrien spend time outside the house. Maybe Nathalie had pulled some strings.) "I could literally pay for everything and save you guys so much money."
"That would be taking advantage of you," Marinette had said, staring at him with softened eyes that clashed against her concerned frown. "We love you for you. Not because of what you can give us. Anyone who asks that of you isn't a true friend. Okay, Adrien?"
Regardless. He didn't think she'd been talking about gifts. As far as he was aware, those were still perfectly acceptable. Nino and Alya had drifted off into their own little conversation, so he figured this was the perfect time to offer up his little trinket.
"Marinette?" Adrien dug his hand back into his pocket and pulled out his makeshift present. Marinette, in the process of guzzling down her milkshake at ungodly speeds, turned to address him, the straw in her mouth turning with her. "I, uh..." He closed his fist around the beads to stop his hand from shaking. "I made something for you."
She pulled the straw away from her lips with a popping sound and set the glass back down on the table. Her narrowed eyes scrutinized his hand, as if trying to x-ray vision her way through his fingers to see what he was hiding. "Oh... What is it?"
Swallowing hard, he uncurled his fist and held up the string by one end. "It's... It's a lucky charm."
She blinked in bewilderment. Then her features melted into something akin to adoration. "What? You made this? For me?" Her hands tentatively reached out towards it.
Convinced his heart was about to pulverize itself into a gooey mush, Adrien let it drop into her palm. "I know it's, uh, kind of stupid. But I just thought—"
"No, it's perfect!" she declared, rubbing the pads of her fingers over her new possession. "I love it. This is the sweetest gift someone's ever given me." She looked up at him, the gleam of the beads reflecting through her shining eyes. "Thank you, Adrien."
He smiled at her in a way which suggested he was perfectly at ease, and not as if he was about to spontaneously combust. (That had almost happened during an akuma attack once. Not a fun day.)
Marinette went to shove the lucky charm into the pocket of her jeans, before hesitating. Instead, she laid it down on the picnic table in front of her, as if it were a monument that deserved to be pride of place and marveled at by watchful eyes.
Alya and Nino were obviously its first candidates.
"Cute present, dude." Nino waved a fry in its direction and gave an approving nod. "Wish someone would make a lucky charm for me."
"Damn, Agreste," Alya agreed, her facial expression, as it usually was, full of mischievous flamboyance. She stared him dead in the eye. "You really are quite the charmer."
Adrien raised his eyebrows. Clearly, she'd spent too much time filming Chat Noir and now he was rubbing off on her. His mouth stretched into a smirk, deciding he couldn't let her have the final pun. "Nah, I'm just stringing her along."
"Oh god, you guys are not making lucky charm puns," Marinette groaned, dragging both hands down her face. "I seriously cannot bead-lieve you two."
Nino choked on his milkshake, spewing it in every direction, whilst Adrien and Alya both recoiled with a wince. "We appreciate the effort but that was terrible," Adrien guffawed, blatantly ignoring the death stare Marinette shot at him.
Alya reached across the bench to pat her best friend on the arm. "Leave the punning to the experts, honey."
"Guys, don't be mean!" Nino wiped viscous blue liquid off his glasses. "For all you know, her confidence was hanging on by a thread."
Marinette scoffed and threw one of her fries at his face, which came dangerously close to landing in his milkshake.
Nino glowered at her, hand protectively covering his drink. "Hey, watch it!"
She folded her arms and pulled a face. "Probably would've made it taste better."
゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜
"And that's when I said, he wasn't allowed to watch Ninjago anymore if it was gonna have this much of an influence on him!" Nino's half-drunk milkshake sloshed as he jerked it around for emphasis, deep in the throes of his dramatic story. "Like, I love Chris. I do. But by god is he an idiot."
"It's true," Alya chipped in. "I babysat him once."
Marinette, enraptured by the tale, was busy shoveling fries into her mouth as she listened, completely unaware that her knee was brushing against Adrien's under the bench. And he was doing everything in his power not to start sweating profusely.
He suddenly felt the weight of tiny paws on his hand, pushing it across the wooden seat he was leaning on until it connected with the warmth of somebody else's. Marinette and Adrien both simultaneously yelped, pulling their hands apart as if they'd been burned. He caught sight of a flicker of black, as Plagg dove back into his hiding place.
"Sorry!" His voice cracked spectacularly, as he made a mental note to murder his kwami later. "My hand slipped..."
"No worries! You just caught me by surprise." Marinette proceeded to cram more fries into her mouth, most of them stolen directly from Adrien's portion. (She'd asked first. And of course, he'd let her. Quite frankly, she could hit him with a truck and he'd still think the world of her.)
Nino and Alya were staring at their two friends with matching smug expressions. Adrien frowned, suppressing the urge to lash out.
Just because things had worked out for them, that didn't mean he and Marinette were going to follow suit. This wasn't a game. And Marinette wasn't blind. She'd catch on eventually if they carried on like this.
Taking it upon himself to do damage control, he cleared his throat. "Anyway... Ninjago!"
"Ninjago!" Nino continued on, undeterred. "So apparently in season three, the characters in the show enter a virtual world and one of them jumps off a building. And he's perfectly fine — lands on his feet and everything. Because they are 'literally in a world where they can imagine anything and it'll come true'." He air-quoted with his fingers. "So Chris, the stupid little shit, reckoned that he could do that, too!"
Adrien snickered. "Are we about to find out that Chris is actually dead and his funeral is next week?"
He regretted it almost instantly. But luckily, his friends all laughed instead of throwing him worried glances because he was making Death Jokes.
"Well, it's a good thing he told me about his discovery!" Nino took a poignant sip of his drink. "Naturally, I said, 'No, dumbass. You'll die.' And then this kid had the audacity to look me dead in the eye and say," He switched to falsetto to mimic his little brother, "'I'm gonna bully the weird video-game kid at my school, so he becomes akumatized and creates a virtual world where I can do whatever I want and fall off buildings!'"
Alya was the only one who laughed at that.
"'Suitable for children under ten' my ass! That show is a hazard to stupid little kids."
"No kidding!" Marinette forced out a strained laugh. "I certainly wouldn't wanna deal with that particular akuma." A few beats passed, and then her face immediately dropped in horror, color rushing to her cheeks.
She's adorable, Adrien mused.
"I mean, not like that!" She threw her arms up as she scrambled to correct herself, despite the fact that Adrien personally didn't think she'd said anything wrong. "I don't deal with akumas, ahah. I meant, like, f-face it— experience it! Be in the moment with the akuma— Wait no, what I mean is, like, if I didn't run away in time and got caught up in the mess. Not like I want to hang out with it. I swear I don't—"
Her hand, in the midst of gesticulating frantically, lurched out and knocked over Adrien's milkshake glass (which was still almost full), in the unfortunate direction of his lap.
That put an abrupt end to their knee-touching as he stood up with a gasp, the right side of his trousers now covered in cold cream-colored liquid.
Maybe if you'd spent more time actually drinking the milkshake instead of staring at Marinette like a creep, you wouldn't be in this situation right now, he chastised himself.
"Oh my god!" Marinette leapt to her feet as well, straddling the bench with a leg on either side as she rummaged around in her purse. "Hang on, don't move! Let me just find something to clean it with..."
She pulled out a small red object with black spots that vaguely resembled a plushie and dabbed it against the goopy mess currently soaking into Adrien's jeans. Then she shrieked and shoved the red thing back into her bag. "Whoops, that's not a towel!"
"Here." Alya threw Nino's teal sweater across the picnic table, despite her boyfriend's squawk of protest. "Go crazy."
Adrien nodded in thanks and began dragging it repetitively across the thick substance. It didn't seem to be doing much, except now the sweater was just as equally stained with vanilla as his jeans were.
Nino winced. "That stuff washes out, right?"
"Adrien... I'm really sorry." Marinette slumped back down onto her side of the bench, eyes glazing over with tears. "I should've been more careful. I'll—"
"—understand if I hate you?" Adrien sat back down too, reaching to pick up the glass that was still lying on its side. He smiled warmly, and relief flooded through him when he saw Marinette's own smile creep up as she understood his reference. He'd said a similar thing to her on the day they'd met. "It's alright. Accidents happen."
"All the time when Marinette is around," Nino huffed, snatching his ruined sweater back. Alya lightly punched his arm.
"Besides, it's my own fault." Adrien shrugged nonchalantly, gesturing at the smudge on his leg. "It's obvious I should've drunk it faster. Fate was laying that on pretty thick."
Marinette snickered. "Was that another pun?"
He reached to rub at the back of his hair. "Only if you found it funny."
She tilted her head. "You remind me of someone."
Adrien's follow-up question was ready at his lips, until he was abruptly cut off by a familiar sound. One he'd come to simultaneously dread and look forward to. All four of their phones started up with a loud continuous beeping, notifying them of sudden danger.
Specifically an akuma alert.
Adrien's nerves spiked with frustration, heart sinking fast. Why did it have to be now? He'd been looking forward to this day, to spending time with three of his favorite people. And while, yes, he loved spending time with Ladybug too, he would've been more than happy to wait until tomorrow.
God, how he'd love to cataclysm Hawk Moth in the face right now.
People on the other benches, who'd inevitably received the alert as well, were subsequently abandoning their seats and filing out of the area. The group of teenage girls groaned in annoyance. Parents rounded up their children, or hurriedly strapped babies back into strollers. Dogs barked, because hell, even they understood what that stupid sound meant at this point.
Nino stood up, pinching the bridge of his nose under his glasses. "I swear to god, if this akuma is actually Chris's fault..."
"Where are you guys planning on hiding?" Adrien asked, mostly so he could start running in the opposite direction of whatever their answer was.
"Hiding?!" Alya scoffed and reached for her bag. "Are you kidding me? My moment to shine has finally come. I've been waiting ages for another akuma attack!"
"It's been six days," he supplied, subtly covering his ring with his other hand, just in case Ladybug was already on the scene and sending out the flashing distress signal.
"Exactly. Ages. So if you'll excuse me, I'm off to film me some action." She pulled herself out of the picnic table and turned to the boy next to her. "You coming, Nino?"
He tipped his hat at her. "You know I'd follow you to the ends of the earth, mon amour."
Alya rolled her eyes. "God, you're such a sap."
Adrien watched them both retreat into the distance, idly wondering if Nino's flirting game had gotten better overtime, or worse.
With sudden horror, he realized he'd been left alone on the bench with Marinette. He jerked his head around to address her, fumbling for an explanation as to why he couldn't stay with her.
"Marinette, I—"
"Adrien, I—"
They both cut themselves off, staring at each other with wide eyes.
He wafted a hand at her. "Uh, you go first."
"My parents, um... they like me to be at home when an akuma attack happens." Her fingers dug into the sides of her purse. "To make sure I'm safe and all that—"
"Say no more!" Adrien had never been happier to jump onto an excuse. "Go be with your parents. I'll text you when everything's over."
"I will, too." She stood up, turning back one last time to meet his eyes. "Stay safe, okay?"
He nodded. "Ditto."
She hurried away, slipping briefly on the grass before catching herself. He watched her disappear into the thicket of trees, breaking off from the direction the rest of the crowd seemed to be heading in.
"Alright, Plagg," Adrien muttered quietly, moving away from the empty picnic table. "Time for some long overdue action."
"Adrien!" a familiar voice from behind him called out.
Heart exploding into every nerve in his body, he whipped round to face his oldest friend, hand on his chest as he panted heavily. "Jesus Christ, Chloé! You can't just sneak up on people like that!"
She scoffed and folded her arms, ponytail flicking to one side as she turned her head. "Well I didn't wanna approach you when all your friends were here. Anyway, I need to talk to you. I'm not putting this off any longer."
Adrien balked at her words. They hadn't 'talked to each other' since, well, that day in the car. "You might have to. Didn't you get the akuma alert?"
"Yes, Adrien," Chloé spat, eyes hard. "I got the akuma alert. But I couldn't give a flying fuck about which sensitive dunce has gotten upset this time. What are we even meant to do? It's not like we can know in advance which place is actually safe, so we might as well stay right here in this field."
He balled his sweating hands into fists, eyes flitting into the distance where he could hear faraway screams. "Look, I'd really prefer finding somewhere to hide—"
"Fine! Let's find a stupid bush and hide in it together. I don't care. I just really need to talk to you."
Any excuse he might've come up with withered in his throat, and he swallowed harshly. "I... can't."
Her arms dropped from their defensive position. "You're still mad at me, aren't you?"
"That's not it." He frantically shook his head and took a step backward, tethering on the edge of bolting away. "I just really have to leave."
She took a step forward. "Adrien, don't—"
A distant explosion cut her off, thundering through the air and rocking the ground beneath them. He winced. He hated akumas that could blow things up...
"I'm sorry, I can't— I can't do this right now." He stumbled as he stepped further back. "I just... I have to go!"
Adrien reeled around and took off into a sprint, ignoring the shout of his name echoing after him. He ran across the grass and then crunched across the twigs as he entered the woodland. Colorful autumn leaves pirouetted through the air around him as they fell from their respective trees.
Leaving her behind had stung more than he'd expected it to. Every rational brain-cell he possessed told him he shouldn't care about Chloé. That she didn't deserve his attention. But he knew that wasn't how it worked. Not for him. He couldn't stop loving someone just because they betrayed him, let him down, hurt him. He was too forgiving for his own good.
Sometimes he hated that part of himself. Sometimes he was grateful for it. But the truth was, Adrien had enough room in his heart for all the hate and all the love all at once.
"We'll talk soon, I promise," he muttered out loud, darting behind a large tree to hide himself from view. He leaned heavily against it, uneven pieces of bark digging into his shoulder blades.
Plagg flitted out of his pocket. "You talking to me there, chief?"
Adrien merely sighed, blinking in quick succession to try and quell the moisture he could feel springing up.
Plagg rolled his eyes, settling into the palm Adrien was holding out for him. "I don't know what you see in her. She's a nasty piece of work: a cheese with a rind so thick, it's not even worth digging into."
Adrien shook his head. "You weren't there before." His heart swelled with the happy memories of him and Chloé that spanned over a decade, full of pranks and games and laughter and fun. And despite the fact that they sometimes bickered (as kids often did), they were always on each other's side when it counted the most. It was them against the world, them against the parents. (Except Emilie, of course. His mom had always been allowed on their side.)
And now? Well. It felt like nobody was on his side.
"She used to be kind. We grew up together, Chloé and me. She was... my best friend. My rock. I probably wouldn't be who I am today without her."
Silence fell for a moment, as Plagg's ears twitched indignantly. "Well, I'm your best friend now," he finally said, "And we have a job to do!"
Adrien smirked. "Touché... Plagg, claws out!"
His superhero persona fizzled into existence and Chat Noir slammed down his baton, catapulting himself high above the trees.
