Chapter 10: Would you lie with me and just forget the world

The moon's white glow was vibrant enough to cast shadows down upon the city below it.

Ladybug's was among them, shifting and distorting through various shapes as she paced back and forth on the gazebo. She gripped at her elbows like a lifeline, the stonework beneath her feet echoing with every frantic step she took.

By some miracle, she hadn't even been late this time. She'd made a conscious effort to leave at five minutes to the hour, and the journey between her house and this gazebo took no more than three. But even though there was no way to check her watch whilst in the suit, it had to be way past ten o clock by now. She'd been waiting ages.

And despite that, she was still the only one here.

She slowed to a stop and scrutinized the horizon, eyes searching for any sign of a black blob propelling itself towards her. But just like the last twelve times she'd checked, there was nothing. Just an empty black sky, shimmering with streetlights.

Ladybug gnawed at her knuckle, emotions at war inside of her. She couldn't decide whether to lean most heavily on anger or anxiety.

No way was she going to believe that Chat had arranged this hangout, only for her to get stood up—

(Not stood up, this wasn't a date.)

He wouldn't do that to her, right? In the all the time she'd known him, he'd never once been flaky. Never once agreed to a plan that he hadn't subsequently followed through.

Never once been the last one to arrive.

Which meant something must have gone wrong. So wrong, that for the first time ever, he'd bailed on her.

And it shouldn't have been that big of a deal. It shouldn't have caused her chest to clamp up or her hands to shake. Because Chat was almost definitely fine. He wasn't that late. She was just being paranoid and she seriously needed to get a grip—

But the small concern that had been festering deep inside her gut for months was slowly starting to morph into something more vicious. And it only got worse as the minutes ticked by.

That small concern being: behind the mask, she had no idea who Chat Noir was. He was a complete stranger. Just a nameless faceless Parisian in a sea of two million people.

And that meant, if he were to ever stop meeting up with her in his superhero persona, there'd be absolutely no way for her to find him. No way for her to salvage anything from their relationship. Nothing but phantom laughter in the breeze, the fire burning in his green eyes, and the countless memories of whirlwind adventures they'd pursued together.

If he disappeared, she'd lose him forever. And then how would she be able to convince herself he'd even been real in the first place?

It terrified her. To know that the contact between her and the boy she loved more than anything was so fickle. So fragile. So easy to let slip through her fingers.

It was why she couldn't calm down. With every step she took, the tangle of nerves inside her stomach just grew tighter and tighter, knotting together until she could barely breathe. She chewed at her knuckle with even more vigor, and it was a good thing to suit protected her from actually harming herself, otherwise—

The suit.

Ladybug glanced down at her spotted costume. She had half a mind to just drop her transformation. Then at least she might be able to breathe a little easier. She could check her watch and find out the exact time. And share her worries with Tikki, who would probably offer her some words of reassurance.

Fuck it.

"Tikki, spots—!"

"Buggaboo!"

Heart screaming, she whipped around, and was greeted by Chat's frenzied smile. He stumbled onto the platform of the gazebo and retracted his baton, panting heavily.

The fear inside her dissipated instantly, but the anger did not.

"Chat Noir..." She narrowed her eyes and sidled up to him, poking him harshly in the chest. "Do you have any idea how long I was waiting?!"

His bravado deflated a little. "Ah, um... I'm sorry, Bug. I forgot to set an alarm before I went to sleep."

She folded her arms, unimpressed. "What were you doing sleeping in the middle of the day?"

"What can I say?" he said with a smirk; the one she adored, "A cat's gotta take a catnap now and then."

But no matter how cute he was, it wasn't enough. "No. I want a real answer."

He raised an eyebrow. "What if it jeopardizes my secret identity?"

"Does it?"

He chuckled. "Look, I just wanted to have a high level of energy in order to show off my surprise to you with the max amount of gusto."

She huffed, admitting defeat. "What is this surprise then?"

Chat's metal boot kicked at the stone floor and a circular-shaped lid tilted into existence. He caught it on his toecap and gently shoved it to one side with a grunt, revealing a pitch-black passageway below the ground.

Ladybug blinked. She hadn't even noticed that little entrance until just now.

His eyes gleamed with playfulness. "Follow me, milady." His baton extended again and he let it drop into the hole before sliding down it, the inky darkness swallowing him up.

Tentatively, she followed him.

She dropped through the opening and her feet landed soundlessly on a red carpet, finding herself standing inside some sort of building. An archaic theater, she realized, after looking up and observing her surroundings. Her eyes widened as if to take more of it in, a gasp escaping her throat.

Rows upon rows of faded red chairs sat along the tiered seating on the balconies above her and also filled the space across the parterre on her level. Gilded loges jutted out from the sides of the walls. The roof stretched high and far above her head, molded into a dome shape.

Dimmed squares of light lined the decorative periphery of the foyer, shrouding the theater in neither darkness nor brightness, but instead an atmospheric middle.

A wooden stage occupied the far end of the arena, encompassed by a giant proscenium arch; ornate and sculpted with cherubs. The heavy curtain was completely lowered, blocking off everything except for the little forestage that poked out of the front.

"Wow..." she breathed, voice barely above a whisper, "This place is amazing."

Chat, a few paces ahead, heard her anyway and spun back around to throw her an impish grin, his arms spread wide. "Isn't it just."

Her vision spun as she tried to stare at everything at once, unable to tear her eyes away.

Her parents had never really been fans of theater. And by extension, neither had she. So she'd never stepped foot inside a building quite so spectacular before. Among the grandiose designs and architecture, she couldn't help but feel out of place.

But no one was here to witness her discomfort. The entire auditorium was eerily empty, save for her and Chat. And she couldn't understand why. At this time of night, she'd expected a place as beautiful as this to be absolutely packed; swarming with people who ran in circles high above her own stratum.

"How are we the only ones here?" she asked, following Chat down the aisle.

His eager stride slowed to a stop. "It's closed for renovations," he said, his back to her. "Has been for a few months now. Keeping it open was too expensive, after they..." She caught the silhouette of his cat-ears wilting, "...lost their star performer."

Suddenly, her surroundings were no longer the focus of her attention.

Her hand reached out toward him, despite the fact she was still too far away to make contact. "Chat... What's wrong?"

He didn't say anything for a moment. The utter silence of such a large place was almost overwhelming.

Then he sighed and hoisted himself up onto the apron of the stage, his eyes fixated on his lap as if to avoid hers. "Did you see the articles about me today?"

Right. She should've guessed.

Ladybug moved forward and climbed onto the platform as well, sitting herself down next to him. "Yeah."

His dangling legs languidly kicked at the hollow wood behind them. "Are you mad?"

"No, why would I be?"

"Because they—" He squeezed his eyes shut, "Because the things they said were..."

She wrinkled her nose. "I didn't really think much of it. We're famous, Chat. The press always write these kinds of stories about us. Remember that time I accidentally led an akumatized victim onto the highway last month and caused a massive crash? People were absolutely livid at me."

He finally glanced at her, eyes shining in a way that made her chest clench. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"Well... a little bit, yeah, of course it does. You saw me yesterday. I hate disappointing people." She looked up at the heavens ceiling above her, painted with a myriad of stars and zodiac signs. "But, Chat, you need to understand. If we abided by every single opinion in Paris, we'd never be able to move. Let alone do our jobs."

His shoulders slumped. "I don't like making mistakes."

"No one does, kitty."

"Yeah, no, I-I know that, but..." He hunched forward and wrapped his arms around himself as if trying to keep his emotions from spilling out, "It... It feels like I don't really have that privilege. To make mistakes, I mean. I've made so many already. Even before I became Chat Noir. I don't know why, but I've always had this... desperate need inside of me to be absolutely perfect. And if I fall short of that, then I f-feel like I've failed."

Ladybug stared at him.

She had to admit, she was a little lost. From what he'd said yesterday, it sounded like Chat had brought her here with the intention of improving her mood (as if he didn't already do enough just by being next to her). But now he was... venting?

She didn't mind — of course she didn't mind — but being told things that made her heart ache for him wasn't exactly what she had in mind for a fun time.

"It's... a little bit like that for me, too," she said, the words spilling into the silence before she could stop them, "I've always tried to accept myself for being just the way I am." She huffed out a laugh. "But by god, I wish I didn't have to deal with my flaws every day."

He turned to look at her, concern flashing across his features.

And she realized her mistake.

"Shit, sorry!" She dragged herself out of his personal space, skin itching with embarrassment. "We're not talking about me at the moment."

He grinned, shuffling across the stage until their shoulders were once again touching, and she felt sparks fly in her chest. "Feel free to interrupt me literally whenever you please."

But she knew that wasn't what he needed. Not right now.

"Got it." She reached out to grasp his wrist, fingers brushing over the leather cuff. "But seriously, keep going."

Chat cleared his throat. "My mom... um..." He gestured vaguely at the space around him. "My mom always used to bring me to this theater. A long time ago."

Okay. She hadn't expected him to mention a relative. While it wasn't necessarily taboo to do so, they'd both been in agreement that, in order to protect their identities, the less information they shared with each other the better.

But, well. Of course he had a mom. It's not like he could've been born without one. What was the harm?

"Your mom?" she prompted.

"Yeah. She, uh... My mom understood me better than anyone. Even when I was little, she could see I was..." His throat visibly bobbed as he swallowed, "...different. Y'know, from the other kids. But she never made me feel bad about it. She supported me i-in every way she knew how."

Ladybug smiled. "She sounds amazing."

He nodded in agreement, his own smile not reaching his eyes. "During the times I was finding life even harder than usual, sh-she would say this weird phrase. Something like... 'Failure isn't your enemy. Your fears are'."

The use of past tense wasn't lost on her, and she furrowed her brow, heart pounding louder. "Kitty. Is your mom... um...?"

He nodded again. "She died a while back, yeah."

"Oh." She pressed her palm against her mouth, tears stinging her eyes. Two of her favorite people didn't have a mom and that was heartbreaking. "Not you, too..."

He blinked. "What?"

She startled, not realizing she'd said that last part out loud. "Oh! It-It's nothing." She gave his wrist a squeeze for good measure. "Please, keep going."

"O-Okay. Um, so..." His free hand moved to press down over her own, gripping her fingers tightly, "After I lost her, I was... well, I was a lot of things. But I remember feeling really angry at the world." When his voice cracked, so did her heart. "Like, h-how could it take my mom away like that? How is that fair?"

"It's not," she said, trying to talk through the thick substance suddenly clogging her throat.

"So, for a long time, I didn't want to give anything back to it." He pulled both his hands out of hers, opting to rest his palms against the wooden stage on either side of him. "The whole world could've burned for all I cared. I wouldn't have even cared if I burned with it."

Her breath hitched. "Chat..."

He shook his head. "Sorry. That's not what I... What I'm trying to say is, I've been angry at the world for far too long. But it's like my mom said, fears are the real enemy. And I think I'm ready to face them. Which is why I'm here. At this theater. With you." He pulled himself to a stand, excitement replacing the sadness in his eyes. "And I have something to show you."

Oh, Ladybug thought, stumbling to her feet, He's been building up to something. Of course. I'm an idiot.

His smile was real this time. "Close your eyes."

Ladybug complied, letting her world fall into darkness. She heard him jump off the stage and scamper away down the auditorium, leaving her to stand alone on the passerelle.

She heard the clang of a lever shift. Then a rumbling sound overtook her ears and the floor beneath her started to vibrate. Bewildered, she opened her eyes again and saw the asbestos curtain begin to ascend upwards along the smoke pockets, revealing whatever had been hiding behind it this entire time.

Her heart skipped a beat.

An array of shimmering orange ornaments in the shape of stars hung from the scene dock above, a crescent moon nestled among them. Perches on either side of the proscenium shone beams of light directly at the scenery, highlighting its magnificence even more.

The stars glued to her bedroom ceiling back at home could never even begin to compete with these.

Head craned up as far as it would go, she stepped over the setting line and walked further onto the stage, drawn toward the spectacle like a moth toward light. "Holy sh... You... set all of this up yourself?"

Chat pounced back onto the stage to stand by her side. "I meow-ight have."

"I-It's beautiful," she choked, "It's stunning. It's..." Realizing she was just listing nice-sounding adjectives, Ladybug tried a different approach. "I-I can't believe you went through all this effort. For me."

He rocked back on his heels as he stared up at the makeshift stars alongside her. "I wanted to cheer you up. Did it work?"

"Did it fucking w—? Chat, this is the nicest—" She faltered, "One of the nicest things someone has ever done for me."

He suddenly gasped and rushed across the platform. "Oh! Hold on, there's more!"

"Are you serious right n—?" She dragged her eyes away from his amazing creation, only to find him pulling a white sheet off a huge object that occupied the middle of the stage.

The sheet fell away, exposing a sleek-black grand piano, light reflecting off its polished surface. "Check it!"

Ladybug immediately felt the excitement crash through her body. "Oh my god, YES!" She dashed across the sprung floor and practically dove onto the padded seat, its little wooden legs skidding slightly from the force. "I've always wanted to play one of these."

Her hands hovered over the keys, brain scrambling to remember which note was which. Then she began to perform Heart and Soul (the only song she knew how to play), acoustics bouncing off the choral shell and echoing around the arena.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Chat move to stand next to the piano, watching her intently, his cat-ears twitching. She grinned and continued, letting the cordial music flood through her senses.

About halfway through the song, she shot him a glance and saw him offering her a supportive smile. Which was nice of him, considering she didn't have any actual technique on the piano and the syncing of her chords was a little choppy. He, on the other hand, was probably an expert at—

Her stomach twisted in horror, the upbeat tune quickly descending into unsynchronized notes as she fumbled to a stop.

She gave him an apologetic look. "You were totally about to play a song, weren't you."

He fiddled with the hair on the back of his head, grinning through a wince. "I was totally about to play a song."

"Huh." She pulled herself out of the seat, contemplating whether she might just be the worst friend ever. "I should probably stop mucking up your big surprise."

Chat carefully sat down in her place with a chuckle. "As if you ever could."

She didn't deserve him.

Ladybug leaned against the lid of the piano, watching him settle into a more comfortable position. "Which song is it?"

His fingers flexed over the black and white keyboard. "An original."

Her eyes widened. "Wait, what?"

"Well, it's not that good," he said quietly, "I mostly just came up with it in my head." He glanced up at her. "But I'd love to play it for you, if that's okay?"

Nothing had ever sounded more okay to her in her entire life. "I'd love to hear it."

He nodded and looked back down at the piano, chewing on his lip. He took a deep breath, almost as if he was preparing himself to perform in front of an entire audience, and not just her.

Either way, it wouldn't have mattered to Ladybug. This theater could be absolutely packed, and she'd still only have eyes for him. He would always be her center-stage.

He began to gently press the keys.

And her heart skipped another beat.

She'd expected to hear a beautiful melody accompanied by nimble chords. She hadn't expected him to take a deep breath and start singing in a voice so alluringly soothing, it could lure fishermen to their deaths faster than any siren could.

Stronger Together
(Reverse Love Square edition)

"I'm in awe
At who you truly saw me for.
You always knew there was something more.
Your fondness has stuck."

At his words, something in her chest violently shifted. And the feelings she'd tried so hard to keep buried arose to the tip of her tongue, begging to be projected into the spacious foyer. To fill it with everything she had to say.

She might not have any natural talent for performing like he did, but no one was watching her right now. She didn't need to be scared. So she closed her eyes and gave in to the urge.

"Your heart of gold
Wasn't the first thing that had me sold.
It's the way that you refuse to fold.
You never give up."

Chat's song abruptly stopped. And so did Ladybug's breathing, convinced she'd just overstepped again. But then she heard the skid of the piano's seat being pushed back and the rushed footsteps of his boots slamming across the wood.

She heard him flip a switch, and the hydraulics of loud machinery spurred to life. She risked opening her eyes and watched the orange crescent moon descend from its placement in the faux sky. It eventually stopped, about a meter or two from the wooden floor.

From the side of the stage, Chat re-flicked the switch and then rushed towards the dangling moon, leaping into the air with his enhanced superhuman abilities. He landed unceremoniously on its hilt, momentum causing the string to lurch from side to side. He motioned at Ladybug with his hand to quickly join him and fast.

Not wasting a second, she lunged forward and leapt up onto the moon beside him, gripping his outstretched hand to steady her balance.

He'd clearly done some messing around with the fly systems because the thing began to elevate again. It lifted them up into the air, past the grid of beams and the thunder run, towards the sunburner at the very tip of the ceiling, which warmed them both under its heat and cast iridescent flickers of light across his green eyes.

"I will stay!"
"All the way.
Experience
All the stars that shine so brightly.
Don't leave me.
Can't you see?
We're stronger, hence
I'll hold onto you so tightly."

They exited the theater the same way they'd come in; pulling themselves out of the cylinder hole, before climbing up onto the gazebo and jumping off the building's cupola.

Ladybug breathed in the fresh air of the outside world, her hand gripped tightly in Chat's as they fled across the arrondissements of Paris. Their laughter echoed through the landscape, as they leaped and climbed and raced across architecture like the pair of dorks they were.

He belted out his verse first, and then she followed suit.

"Every day when I woke,
I felt something missing from me.
But up here, you invoke
Feelings of tranquility.
All is fine, at this time.
I feel alive
When we're in the sky."

"We can't know what life throws,
But I'll do it all with you.
I'm prepared to expose
All my deepest secrets, too.
I am saved, your embrace
Fits right in mine,
And I can't deny..."

Their hyperactive parkour session ended as they both thudded to a stop on the flat surface of somebody's garden roof. They turned to face each other; hair windswept, chests heaving, grins wide.

Ladybug stared into his eyes; rich and pure. She thought about how this boy wore a metaphorical mask as well as a literal one, and how she could only see straight through one of them. His civilian identity might've been a mystery, but his emotions were not.

He was hurting. And no amount of cat puns or humorous banter would ever be able to hide that fact from her. Especially not after tonight. Not after he'd opened up to her like that.

Anxiety tsunami'd its way across the boundless amounts of love within her, as the same small concern from before came crashing back. Except this time, it was so much heavier.

If he disappeared, she'd lose him forever.

And what if those chances were higher than she'd realized?

She threw her arms around his shoulders and hugged him against her as tightly as she could. But tight wasn't tight enough, and it still felt like she'd never be able to get a good enough grip on him.

"I'm so happy you're in my life," she muttered into his neck, clenching her eyes shut to quell the tears, "You know that, right?"

Don't you dare disappear on me, don't you dare, don't you dare—

Chat squeezed her right back and then pulled himself out of the hug, eyes sheened with moonlight and an emotion she couldn't read.

Then he smiled. He gently guided her hand to his shoulder and placed his own on her waist, holding her close and collecting her other hand up with his free one.

Drenched in the glow of the full moon, they slow-danced across the rooftop. Ladybug soaked it up, allowing it to fill her with warmth, and she let the rest of the world slip away. Nothing else mattered right now except her and Chat.

She let him guide her through a series of careful dips and twirls, her eyes hardly ever leaving his. Dreamlike energy thrummed through her in a way that was almost magical.

I get the feeling that
She has something to say.
It doesn't change the fact
I just don't feel the same.

He knows my heart,
What lives deep in my soul.
I don't know where to start.
I must be bold.

She wouldn't lose him, she decided. She was done pretending. She needed him to know exactly how she felt.

Absolutely nothing in the world was worth holding back anymore.

His lips was mere inches away from hers. Heart pounding through her chest, she inclined her head and slowly leaned forward, intent on closing the rest of that distance.

It was a good job her eyes hadn't fully shut yet. She almost missed the way his own eyes widened in horror and how his face recoiled from her incoming attempt.

She immediately dropped her hold on him and he staggered away from her, almost tripping over a ridge in the concrete in his haste to create a gap between them.

Just like that, the magic of the night fell away.

It was the way he looked at her — a mixture of betrayal and confusion — which finally dug the last nail into the coffin. She felt her heart emptying itself, its contents splattering all over the bottom of her stomach.

He must've read the utter anguish on her face, because his features immediately softened.

He opened his mouth again.

"I love you,
Just not the way you do.
I've got to leave now, you
Have to move on."

She blinked and the first tear fell down her face.

"I don't know
How I could let you go.
I will still try to, though
It feels so wrong."

Still facing her, he stepped up onto the stone pony wall, fumbling for his baton and almost dropping it in the process.

"W-Wait," she said, voice cracking, resisting the urge to follow after him. She didn't want to hurt him anymore than she already had. "I'm so sorry, Chat. I really thought—"

"It's not your fault," he said immediately, dropping his gaze. "I shouldn't have... I'm so stupid, I—"

"No, you're not. Please don't—"

He dropped off the side of the house before she could finish. She heard the clang on his baton hit the ground below and then his silhouette appeared in the distance, pole-vaulting away through the city.

As he left, so did the last remaining tether of her composure.

Breath hitching on a sob, Ladybug stumbled backward until the small of her back hit the chimney. Collapsing the same way her heart had done, she slumped to the ground in front of it, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging herself into a tight ball.

"Tikki, spots off," she whispered into her lap.

Pink light flashed across her eyelids and she shivered as the skin of her arms came into contact with the Winter breeze, goosebumps springing up. A familiar weight landed on her bare shoulder, gentle and comforting. And it only made her cry harder.

"I tried, Tikki," she croaked, blinking stream after stream out of her watering eyes, "I t-tried to follow my heart. But he doesn't love me back and... now I've just m-made everything worse!" She tightened her grip around herself, hoping the pressure would lessen the pain she was feeling within. It didn't. "I-I guess it just wasn't meant to be, huh?"

"Marinette, I understand you're upset right now," Tikki said, voice quiet, "But please can we go home? Before anything else? The cold isn't good for you."

Vision still blurry, Marinette unfurled her body slightly and glanced down at her clothes, only to find she'd been in her pajamas this entire time. She wasn't even wearing socks.

She last thing she wanted to do right now was move, let alone travel. But dying of hypothermia before she even had time to process her emotions did not sound appealing. So reluctantly, she nodded and rose onto unsteady legs, using the chimney as a support.

Her head swam, her chest hurt, and her cheeks were damp with tears, but she still called her transformation back on and leaped from the garden roof.

She still swung all the way home, refusing to give a single backwards glance to the place where she'd broken the trust of the person who'd only ever had her best interests at heart.

゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜

Chat Noir dropped into an empty alleyway, heart racing and skin burning. He wasn't ready to go home yet. Not with all this pent-up emotion raging inside of him.

"I'm such an idiot..." His eyes landed on a stack of wooden crates lying beside the wall. With a furious shout, he raised his boot and brought it down on the closest one. The box was clearly old and decomposing because it snapped as easily as cardboard, his foot punching a hole straight through its side. He pulled his shoe out and stomped on it again. And again. And again. "Fucking idiot!"

Green magic zapped across his body and suddenly Plagg was flitting in front of his vision. "Woah, woah, woah, calm down!"

Adrien staggered away from the now-completely pulverized heap of wood, breathing heavily.

"What was I thinking?!" he groaned, hands in his hair, "Leading her on like that? With those stars a-and that song? And n-now I've really hurt her — goddammit, I'm so bad at this!"

"Well, did you mean to lead her on?" Plagg asked.

"No!" He began pacing up and down the narrow vicinity of the alleyway, Plagg following him at every step. "But now I realize... well, of course that's what she thought I was doing."

The kwami frowned. "Kid, are you telling me you had absolutely no idea she was in love with you?"

Adrien sucked in a sharp breath, stumbling to a stop. "She's what?!"

Plagg's ears drooped. "Great Gimmi, you really are bad at this."

He gaped, quite unable to close his mouth, as the synapses in his brain fired in quick succession. "Wha—? Sh-She never said anything like that to me, how was I supposed to know?!"

"Okay, fine— it's fine! Relax." Plagg pulled at the sleeve of his shirt before he could start pacing again. "There's a more important question here. Do you have feelings for her?"

Adrien slumped down heavily onto one of the crates he hadn't destroyed, leaning his elbows on his thighs. "Marinette—"

"Yes, I know you love Marinette. Pretty much everyone except Marinette herself knows that." Plagg flew over to sit on his shoulder. "But put that aside for a moment. Do you really feel absolutely nothing for Ladybug?"

He blinked. "Wh-Why would...?"

"Work with me here, kid. I am trying so hard. Love stuff is not exactly my forte."

Adrien was silent for a long moment, focusing on the thudding of his heartbeat as it slowly faded away from his ears and into a steadier rhythm.

"I think..." He swallowed hard, "For a second there... I did want to kiss her back. And then I felt awful, because... Ladybug is wonderful and kind and courageous and so much more, but..." He shook his head, "She's not Marinette."

"Yeah, but at least Ladybug actually loves you."

"Ugh, you're right, Plagg!" He threw his face into his palms. "I-I should've just let her kiss me, and then none of this—"

"What? No! I'm just saying..." Plagg shifted against his shoulder, "Marinette is a bit of a dead end. So maybe you should... consider changing targets. In your own time. Move your feelings towards Ladybug instead. Maybe that would make you happier."

He pulled his head back up, opting to wring his hands together in his lap. "I... can't."

"Why not?" his kwami demanded. "Just make Ladybug the light of your life instead. And then bam! Feelings returned, match made in heaven, successful romance! All that lovey-dovey stuff you humans are so obsessed with."

Adrien smiled faintly. He thought about Ladybug. What it would feel like to hold her close. To kiss her. But then Marinette's crystalline blue eyes flashed through his mind.

And he already knew it was a lost cause.

Meeting Plagg had been one of the best things to ever happen to him. The tiny god had helped him through so much, in his own way.

But as the kwami always liked to point out, he just didn't understand love.

"There are plenty of other delicious cheeses in the world, Plagg," he said, "But would you ever move on from camembert?"

Plagg bristled, hesitating. Before eventually letting out a sigh of defeat. "No. I guess I wouldn't."

Adrien stood up and looked toward the horizon. Far away through the darkness, he could faintly see his house, towering over all the others nearby with its sheer size.

He thought about his warm bed and how appealing sleeping sounded as opposed to thinking. To let his senseless dreams take the reins for a while, instead of stewing over the partnership he'd just blown to pieces.

Maybe he was ready to go home, after all.

"Plagg... claws out."

゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜

Marinette lay curled up on her chaise, a pillow she'd designed herself clasped in her arms, held tightly against her chest.

She buried her nose into its fresh linin scent and closed her eyes. But it still wasn't enough to block out the image of Chat's green ones. She'd long since mapped out every detail of those irises, memorized every pigmented band and melanin she could find in them.

But now, all she could picture was that look he'd given her before leaving. Like he was afraid of her.

She hadn't said a word since she'd returned. But from the way Tikki's barely noticeable weight had just touched down on her arm, she figured her kwami had finally had enough of the silent treatment.

"Come on, Marinette," Tikki coaxed, "You always feel better when you talk about your feelings."

She responded by curling up even tighter, her frown deepening. Talking wasn't going to expel the sharp thorns growing and prodding inside her chest. The ones that made her feel like the sleaziest person alive.

But, then again. She didn't want her kwami to hate her as well as her partner.

She took a deep breath, working through the croak in her throat that had built up due to her lack of vocal use. "He set up this entire wonderful, magical night because he wanted to cheer me up. And I thought that meant he wanted a relationship?!" She pressed her cheek against the soft pillow, angry tears sizzling across her eyes, threatening to fall. "What is wrong with me, Tikki?"

"Nothing! You made a mistake, but that's okay. You'll fix it."

"I'm really not sure I can this time." Her voice wavered, but she was too tired to care. "I'm s-so scared that I've driven him away for good."

"Impossible. Chat Noir would never abandon Paris to Hawk Moth's wrath."

She grabbed fistfuls of her pillow and clutched at them tightly. "But he might have abandoned me."

"He loves you."

"Not in the way I love him!"

"Marinette, there's still hope."

She scoffed. "Hope for what?"

"For you to love again!" Tikki exclaimed, "What about Adrien? Have you ever considered starting a romance with him?"

She pulled her head off the pillow to stare at her kwami in bafflement, surprised by the abrupt shift in topic. "Adrien?"

Tikki's bright eyes stared right back, wide and enthusiastic. "Yeah!"

Marinette continued to stare. Was Tikki seriously suggesting that she move on that quickly? To leave all the emotional investment she'd given to Chat in the dust, and switch her enamorment to a guy she'd never even had a crush on?

If only life was that easy.

"That's, um... not how it works," she began, deliberating over the right wording, "I just... I like Adrien. A lot! But I don't... love him. When I really think about it, Tikki, it always comes down to this: I could survive if Adrien wasn't in my life. It would suck, but I could."

She rolled onto her back, staring up at the plastic stars. They only resulted in reminding her of Chat's stars, and her heart clenched again. "But Chat? H-He means everything to me. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for him. I think about what it would be like if I had to save Paris without him by my side. And... it kills me. It would kill me."

"Hmm." Tikki, from her new position on the chaise's antimacassar, tilted her head. "Sounds like codependency to me."

Marinette rolled her eyes. "It's called a partnership! But okay, fine. I see what you mean." Sick of looking at the stars, she pushed herself up into a sit, her knees drawn up and the pillow resting on top of them. "But I promise it's about more than that. Even if he wasn't my partner... even if he was just a normal civilian, it wouldn't change a thing. It doesn't matter who he is behind that mask. Not to me."

"So whoever is behind that mask," Tikki said slowly, "You'll love him?"

She felt her tears finally begin to fall, so she pushed her face into the pillow, muffling her voice. "I already do."