GOOD OMENS 3

FireFenix

Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10 – BOUND BY CONTRACT

Another one of Muriel's pained screams echoed through the trees and the heavy fog which had spontaneously appeared. Crowley charged towards the elusive shadow of the ninth legion warrior, adamant not to let them out of sight. Eleyn and Aziraphale followed a few paces behind. There was another scream. The silhouette sped up, diving to its right, and the demon in pursuit followed them through an ensemble of trees and bushes full of thorns. When he emerged on the other side, the fog had grown so thick he could barely make out his own feet. He spun his head in all directions, desperately listening for a scream or a gasp; looking for a trace of white and tartan or a flash of a shadow in the distance. Nothing. His breaths grew heavier as he muttered a "fuck" to himself. Eleyn and the principality appeared behind him seconds after, catching their breaths.

- Where... - Eleyn began, having to stop to breathe - ...are they taking her? -

- If I had to make an educated guess; Hell - Crowley snapped, spinning towards them.

- Crowley, I'm no expert - interjected Aziraphale - But the symbol on its forehead...was that a...? -

- Ninth circle, yeah - he blurted out the answer, eyes incessantly darting in every direction under the dark lenses - It had to be the ninth fucking bloody circle, of all things! - he raged.

- What does that mean, the ninth circle?! - Eleyn inquired, worried to death given Crowley's reaction - As in "circle of hell" ?! What are they going to do to Muriel ?! -

- It means - the demon explained - That we are very positively fucked, because those buggers are Hell's most brutal lot! - there was a crack of wood, and the three of them spun their heads around - They can rip out the wings of a thousand angels and not even fucking flinch! -

- Wonderful - Eleyn sighed in exasperation, her anxiety growing exponentially by the second. There was another crack on their other side, and she was the first to spin around - MURIEL?! - she cried. There was a muffled scream a second after - MURIEL! - Eleyn reiterated.

- Good lord - whispered Aziraphale - They're close. Very close - he took a step towards Eleyn, protectively grabbing her shoulders and making her step back.

- Hiding in the fog! - Crowley called out to, apparently, a bunch of suspended water particles - Bloody cowards! Show yourselves and pick a fight the proper way! - he bellowed.

There was a moment of excruciating stillness, and then the heavy clouds finally began thinning out, revealing a series of dark silhouettes behind them. In under a minute, the fog had cleared enough to barely make out the half ninth-circle legion, composed by eighty or so warriors, propped up in the air in the shores of Inverleith lake. They were led by another two demons, the one which held Muriel by the neck and another whom Crowley had recognized immediately even through the darkness. Eleyn wrestled against Aziraphale's grip the moment she laid eyes on Muriel, dangling helplessly from the demon's fist with tears in her eyes, but the Principality refused to release her. Crowley took a step forward, the disgust in his face so palpable the sunglasses could do nothing to hide it.

- Shax - he said in a low, threatening hiss.

- That's Lord Shax to you - she hissed back.

- Ha! - Crowley's bitter chuckle echoed through the empty park - Those idiots actually went and made you the Grand Duchess of Hell? -

- Problem? - she raised her pointed eyebrows, unamused.

- Well, it's just... - he rocked his head to the side - 'would've voted for Dagon is all... - he mumbled.

- Well, too bad Hell isn't big on democracy - she laughed at herself, then looked over her shoulder at the abducted cherub - Besides, I don't seem to be doing that bad a job, do I? -

- Let her go! - screamed Eleyn, still captive between Aziraphale's arms - Let her go! - she turned her head towards the angel - Let me help her! Let go! - he tightened his grip on the girl's shoulder, eyes fixed on Shax's floating figure.

- I do insist you release Muriel - Aziraphale announced, voice serene yet somehow aggressive - Or things might begin to...escalate - he raised his eyebrows to remark that last word.

- Oh, I'm terrified - Shax replied without a second thought, her tone dryer than the autumn leaves on the side of the road, her proud grin never leaving her face.

- What do you know; you got the hang of sarcasm after all... - Crowley muttered, then raised his voice - Tell me one thing, though, Shax. The ninth circle? Really? What the bloody hell did you bring them along for? And half a legion, too. For two cherubiums, a snake and a mortal? - he took a breath, locking eyes with her through the glasses - Are you really that afraid of us? -

- Afraid? - she wheezed, leaning forward - Me? Of you? Oh, please... - she grinned, displaying her pointed teeth - I just wanted to make sure I destroyed you properly this time. RIP THEM APART! - she ordered her troops with a hiss.

Many things happened at the same time right that second. The heavy fog settled again; and about a fourth of Shax's legion swung fowards at a vertiginous speed, throwing themselves onto Crowley and Aziraphale. The latter forced Eleyn behind him and extended his pearly-white wings, creating an astonishing contrast with the darkness which flooded the park. The serpent extended his own wings, just in time to swing at one of the warriors flying towards him, knocking them right out of the air. The others weren't slow to arrive. Before Crowley could turn back around, one of the demons reached him and dug their sharp teeth into his shoulder, causing him to hiss angrily. Then, he felt a wave of pain as a set of claws ripped into the flesh of his right thigh, making him groan and buckle foward. He heard a screech somwhere behind him, and he knew there were more on their way. He heard Aziraphale's defying screams somwhere on his right. His heart thumped violently. He had to fight them, but he had no idea how. The ninth circle warriors had been trained for battle to the point of insanity. Their bloodthirst was said to be unquenchable, and the lack of an actual physical form gave them a perfect defense mechanism. They couldn't be hurt, and they couldn't be stopped. Crowley desperately tried to think for a solution, helplessly struggling against the two demons who'd attacked him and a third which had grabbed onto his back, hoping Eleyn and the angel wouldn't be hurt before he figured it out. He heard another couple of demons heading his way, but his compromised position and the thick veil of clouds blocking out all light made it impossible to know where from.

Crowley took a deep breath, rasing his head, as his brain finally put two and two together. Darkness. That was the answer. Mustering all the strenght he could find, he summoned two fistfuls of hellfire and swung his hands at the demons on him. Exactly like he'd predicted, they released him immediately and recoiled. He let out a hearty chuckle, elated that he was right, and quickly turned the fire in his hands into two flaming whips which he hurled at the warriors who attempted to get near him. They would doge and back off, not even daring to go near them. Crowley smiled to himself. It was working.

- Angel! - he called out when he had an opening – Angel, are you both still in one piece?! -

- We're quite alright! - Aziraphale shouted back moments after, making Crowley sigh with relief – Is that you with the whips?! -

- Neat, eh ?! Back off, you! Ghyah! - the demon replied, shouting back and forth between Aziraphale and the attackers – Come over to me! Ghyah! Stay away! -

The angel didn't reply; but a series of hurried steps told Crowley all he needed to know. A few cracks of the whip later, Aziraphale and Eleyn appeared behind his left shoulder, the latter frenetically looking aroud, trying to spot Muriel through the fog.

- I thought demons couldn't be hurt by hellfire – observed the angel, his curiosity piqued.

- They can't. Gyah! Gyah! Stay! Back! - Crowley replied, incessantly fighing off the hordes of demons, his breathing growing heavy with tiredness.

- Then why...? -

- It's not...the fire...Gyah!...drawing them away – He turned to Aziraphale, smiling broadly at him, overly pleased with his own cleverness – It's the light. Oh no you don't! Gyah! -

- The light? - Eleyn reiterated, almost as confused as the angel beside her.

- Yaaaaap! You see, these...Gyah!- he whipped a few warriors away, then resumed his explanation – These guys...they come straight from the...Gyah!...ninth circle of hell. That's...well, it's as deep as Hell can get; and it's...Gyah!...dark. Very, very dark. Been down there once, you can't...Gyah!...see a bloody thing, believe me -

- Oh, of course! - Aziraphale quickly arrived at the same conclusion Crowley had – That's why Shax miracled the heavy fog and the clouds! Light is their Achilles heel! -

- Because they're not used to it? - the daughter of God inquired, eyebrows knitted in confusion.

- It's not just that, Eleyn – the angel explained whilst the demon continued whipping warriors away – They've never ever seen light before; they're terrified of it! -

- Bingo! Don't you dare, you little...!...Gyah! - He hurtled the whip past Aziraphale at a warrior who was attempting to sneak behind his back, making the angel give a small jump.

- Well, be careful! - he reproached him, brushing off his sleeve.

- A thank you would've sufficed...Gyah! -the demon spat back, instantly turning away to ward off another set of attackers.

– I'll have you know, this coat is 180 years old! - he straightened his vest in that passive-aggresive manner of his - And my body is 5920 years older that that; I don't need any of the two damaged! -

- So now you're worried...Gyah!... about being...barbecued alive, huh?! - Crowley snapped, earning a groan from the angel.

- Oh, don't start! - Aziraphale gave him a full-body eye roll, annoyed.

- No, it's just...fuck off, you! Gyah!...you seemed...pretty chill about it...last time! - the demon reminded him, still unwiling to drop the subject, his breathing only getting heavier – You know, when I could've...Gyah!...burnt you to a fucking crisp! -

- Honestly, don't you get tired of repeating yourself?! - the angel said with a huff, then finished the sentence quickly before the other could put in another word – For the millionth time, Crowley, do forgive me for trusting you! -

- OY! - Eleyn roared out of the blue, making Crowley fall silent halfway through hissing something back at the angel – Those things have Muriel! They could kill her any second; she's in danger, and you two are busy...bitching! - she took a deep breath – Could you please just stop it for five minutes and focus?! -

- If ...his beatitude...would do the...Gyah!...honours – he raised his eyebrows at Aziraphale, whose nose twitched angrily - My arms are starting to get...Gyah!...fucking tired! -

- You... - the angel took a deep breath, unable to pick out an umpleasant enough adjective, and snapped his fingers decisively – Let there be light! -

The moment he uttered the words, a masive white luminance appeared out of thin air with no apparent source, making the soldiers screech in pain and cover their faces as they retreated completely. Crowley finally relaxed, letting out a sigh and slumping his shoulders as the fiery whips disintegrated in his hands. After a brief pause to catch his breath, the demon snapped his fingers to undo the Grand Duchess' miracle, making the fog begin to thin out once more. Seconds after, they were again face to face with the half-legion perched atop Inverleith lake and the two demons in the centre of it. Muriel was still being held by the neck, wincing in pain when the kidnapper tightened his grip around it. Eleyn made to run towards the scrivener, but Aziraphale grabbed her arm in the nick of time, ganing a groan and a death stare from the young woman.

- Let go! - she shrieked, trying to force her way out of his grip, to no avail – Let go of me, Goddammit! -

- Well, she's feistier than her brother! – Shax hissed, grinning, while Crowley stared daggers at her from beneath the sunglasses – Though you may want to wach it with the blasphemy, princess. Tsk tsk tsk. What would Mommy say.. - she barked out a laugh, having way too much fun.

- Leave her alone! - Eleyn bellowed, tears in her eyes, continuing to wrestle against Aziraphale – You leave her the fuck alone right now! -

- Ugh, fine – she rolled her eyes, and Crowley's eyebrows went down in confusion – As you wish – she teased, then glanced at the demon which held Muriel captive – Kill her -

- NO! -

Eleyn pulled firmly, finally releasing herself from the angel, and sped fowards before Crowley or Aziraphale could stop her. The latter called after her, but his voice quickly dissolved into nothingness. At the same time, the warrior which had had Muriel by her neck flew upwards and flung the scrivener, making her ascend a few feet before she began plumetting back down, half-conscious. The demons around the lake waited patiently for her to fall past them so they could dive behind her, already licking their lips. The daughter of God continued running, eyes fixed on Muriel; so incredibly focused on her friend that she didn't even realize she'd run out of soil. Time seemed to slow down for half a second when she realized her next step would fall on water. She held her breath as a tingly sensation traveled from her toes to her legs and up her spine. The moment her feet touched the liquid, she felt a wave of heat beneath them. And then, all to suddenly, she was walking on water. Well, running on it, to be precise. Everyrthing sped back up when Eleyn spotted Muriel, all eighty ferocious demons in pursue, and ran towards her, catching her right before she hit the water. Her arms protested beneath her weight. She fell on her kness and queezed her eyes shut, barcing herself for the warriors' attack and shielding the scrivener with her own body.

The pointed teeth and sharp claws which Eleyn was sure would dig into her body, however, never came. Everything had gone silent all of a sudden, and only her heavy breathing could be heard. After a few seconds, the daughter of God opened her eyes and slowly turned her head, a gasp escaping her lips when she found herself bare feet away from the bloodthirsty soldiers, whom had all stopped dead in middair, displaying their sharp fangs at her. Crowley and Aziraphale witnessed the scene from the shore of the little lake, both their eyes wide in shock. Shax stared at Eleyn, her face contorted in disgust, finally dropping the sarcastic façade. The young girl darted her eyes around, confused, until the memory of her first ride on the Bentley popped up from the back of her mind. She realized, and grinned broadly, locking eyes with the Grand Duchess of Hell.

- Pact of alliance – Eleyn breathed – You can't touch me, can you? -

Shax didn't answer, but the fury etched on her features gave the young woman the only answer she needed.

- No – she replied to her own question, glancing at the frozen legion of warriors – You can't. The Metatron needs me alive. And, by contract, so does your leader. Isn't that right? - she addressed Shax once again.

- It really is too bad – the duchess finally hissed between gritted teeth – The princess of Heaven...The things I would give to tear you to shreads right this second... -

- It must be so fustrating – Eleyn smirked up at her, fueled by a sudden flame of confidence – To have all that power and yet be rendered so powerless by nothing more than a piece of paper -

- Cool down, highness – Shax snapped, her eyes a mix of rage and malevolence – The alliance might have saved your skin now; but what saves you one day can be the end of you the next -

- Oh, come on, Shax – Crowley stepped foward, bold as ever – Don't pretend like you're still in control. I bet even the ducks in the pond could give you a run for your money! -

- Quite right – added Aziraphale – As of now, you have lost; and as such you will order your troops to stand down. Immediately. - the angel and the demoness stared at eachother for a second. Then, out of nowhere, the latter burst out laughing.

- Lost, have I? - she said, her tone mocking – Do you really think you're in a position to bargain, Angel? - Crowley flinched at the nickname, not at all liking the sound of it on another's lips – You see, I know things you don't. Believe me, Hell is nowhere near defeated -

- Don't get cocky, now – the serpent hissed, Aziraphale's eyebrows going down in deep though – A contract is a contract. Whether you like it or not, Shax, you can't make a move -

- Not against her – she rocked her head towards Eleyn, who was still cradling Muriel in her arms, and licked her lips – But I don't recall seing a clause about the traitorous serpent and his precious pet. BRING ME THEIR HEADS! -

The legion which had been suspended in the air suddenly moved, all the warriors turning on the spot, ready to charge at Crowley and Aziraphale, who had already acquired defensive positions, ready to recieve the attack. And there would have been an attack, if not for the eerie silence which suddenly settled in the park. The leafs rustling in the wind and the sing of the passing birds could no longer be heard; and even the fog seemed to hush. Eleyn tightened her grip on Muriel, while Crowley and Aziraphale exchanged a perplexed glance. Then, a familiar sensation crept into the demon's conciousness; a telepathic link he hadn't felt in years. He winced, his hand instinctively flying to clutch his forehead when Satan's coarse voice echoed inside his mind.

Enough, Grand Duchess. You have done you part, now stand down.

Crowley's eyes opened wide in disbelief, and he flung his head back up only to find a smirk of triumph on Shax's face. She held his amber gaze for a moment, gloating in his ignorance, before adressing her troops.

- You heard! Retreat! - she hissed at them, and they begun to vanish into thin air, one by one. The Duchess then addressed the quartet one last time – You have no idea what's coming -

And with that, she disappeared in a cloud of green smoke after the last of the warriors had vanished, leaving a completely empty park; except for the demon who's face was frozen in shock, a very confused angel, a practically unconscious scrivener and the girl who had walked on water.


The Celèste cinema, though once upon a time immensely popular, had been abandoned since 1941 due, in great part, to the little time the general public would have for entertainment in the midst of looking for refuge against the bombardments. After the war, the previous owners of the theater had already passed and, despite the fact that it still stood after having endured the brutalities of battle, nobody bothered to reopen it. Instead, it was sealed off and left to rot, year after year after year. Now, the small cinema, which counted with only one hall and one broken-down projector, had more cobwebs than it had celluloid. The entire structure had been erected with wood which had slowly rotted over time to the point that, should somebody sneeze, the building would probably come crumbling down. The seats were, to put it nicely, repulsive; the cushions which had once served as commodity now lined with filth and bugs. The screen on the far wall, on the other hand, was damaged and torn in several spots but otherwise intact; and nothing had been projected on it for the past 82 years. Until today, that is. Because today, miraculously, the projector had begun working; and two of the seats had been cleaned, one in the second row and another in the third, diagonal to the first. Only the one in the second row was occupied, though, by a man so thin and obscure that he seemed more like a shadow rather than a man. It's dark, blood-red eyes fixed on Maria as she sang to the children huddled up in her bed.

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels

Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings

These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

Silver white winters that melt into springs

These are a few of my favorite things

- YOU KNOW – the shadow spoke, glancing upwards – I WILL NEVER, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, UNDERSTAND WHY YOU LIKE IT SO MUCH -

The children began to laugh as Maria jumped off the bed, hurring to close the curtains, but never stopped singing. The prince of Hell barely blinked at the sound of steps on the creaky wooden pavement behind him; and he never bothered turning around when a voice echoed through the small hall.

- One must admit – The Metatron said – That the music isn't half bad, even after having watched it to the point I abhore it -

- NO SPOLERS – the Devil demanded, eyes still fixed on the screen, a snort escaping him when the Captain came into scene.

- She walked on water – the etheral being stated, sitting down on the other clean seat – Three down, three to go. Your demons, dear Adversary, have done an excellent job -

- FOR ONCE – Satan snapped, his voice still deep and terrifyingly powerful despite the fact that he'd hidden his true face beneath a corporeal form – IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN, SOONER OR LATER, THAT THEY DIDN'T FUCK UP – he finally turned his face away from the screen and towards the being sitting behind him – YOUR ANGELS? -

- Aware of the attack, but clueless of the rest – The Metatron replied, proudly, his little smirk betraying his otherwise stoic façade – I won't be long to send them on their way and put the next step into motion -

- EVERYTHING PROCEEDS ACCORDING TO PLAN – The Adversary declared.

- It does indeed – the other agreed, not even needing to look at the movie for the memorized lines to appear in his mind before they were spoken – Very soon now, everything will change -

-HOW SOON?! - The creature roared – MY PATIENCE WEARS THIN. I WANT MY END OF THE DEAL, METATRON, AND I WANT IT NOW! -

- You will have it, Satan, when I deem it propper – The Metatron defied him, never raising his voice – Your work is not yet done, my ally. You know that. In less than twenty-four hours, all of this will be over, and you will be rewarded -

- GOOD – Satan turned his attention back to the screen, his scarlet gaze sparkling with fury and evil – BEFORE THEY KNOW IT, HELL WILL HAVE RAINED DOWN ON THEM -

There was never a reply. The seat which had been once occupied by the ethereal being was suddenly empty, and the prince of Hell was alone once again, accompanied only by the echo of his own voice against the corroded walls and the steady melody of Maria's song as she produced the last notes, now alone in her bedroom after all the children had been sent off to bed.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad


By the time the Bentley arrived at the Balmoral, the clouds had slowly begun to clear out of the sky, finally allowing the first rays of sunshine creep through them and onto the surface. The car ride back to the hotel had gone by in complete silence, despite the fact that its ocupants were itching to talk about the recent attack, out of fear that they were being watched. The demons had found them, after all, so why would the angels be lesser? No, it was better to wait unil they were safe between the walls of their suite. After carrying her to the hotel room, Aziraphale carefully laid the half-conscious Muriel on the couch and began healing her, gently grazing the marks in her neck and face. Eleyn watched in silence, only starting to breathe again when the scrivener gradually began to look healthier. Meanwhile, Crowley yanked he glasses off his face and paced nervously around the room, low hisses and whispered swears escaping him every now and then. Eventually, Muriel regained enough strenght to sit up; only to have Eleyn's arms fly around her in relief the moment she did so. Aziraphale smiled tenderly at the scene.

- What happened? - the cherub asked, still slightly dazed – I mean, not that I'm complaining, but...It's not very demon-like to just leave in the middle of an attack, is it?-

- Satan – Crowley hissed, still pacing – It was Satan. He ordered retreat. I felt him, in my head -

- Are you absolutely sure of that? - Aziraphale asked, trying his best to stay calm.

- Yeah, I'm sure – he breathed, turning and locking eyes with the angel before speaking through gritted teeth – And I don't like it; I don't like it one bit. Fuck! - he flung his head upwards with a groan, then began pacing once again – What the hell are they up to?! -

- For my money- Eleyn suggested – Satan just decided there was nothing they could do -

- No no no, you don't understand – Crowley stopped again, closing in on the daughter of God – You don't wake up the ninth circle legion to make them retreat! You...you just don't! -

- What other explanation do you have? - she challenged – They were sent to kill us, and they went back because they couldn't -

- But they weren't – Aziraphale stepped in, shaking his head – They weren't sent to kill us... -

- What are you talking about?! - Eleyn said, rather crossly, the crypticness of their words beginning to tire her.

- He's right – Crowley growled – Those weren't just any warriors, Eleyn, I told you. They're bloodhounds. If they wanted us dead, we'd be dead -

- Then why? - Muriel interjected from the couch, having been quietly listening to the conversation.

- Yeah, exactly! – Eleyn added – Why attack Muriel; why lure us into the park if not for slaughter? -

-I. Don't. Know! - the demon hissed – And it's driving me nuts, because whatever they wanted, they got it; and I would like to know what the fuck that is! -

- They...they didn't just lure us to the park – Aziraphale thought out loud, speaking each word carefully, finally starting to make the connections in his head – They lured us to the lake. Specifically. And they used Muriel as bate because...oh! - the realization struck him like a lighting bolt, the image of Eleyn throwing her arms around the scrivener still vivid in his mind.

- Because what?! - Crowley pressed, his brain begging for answers – What is it, Angel? -

- Because – the angel explained, looking the demon square in the eyes – The objective was Eleyn. They took Muriel because somehow they know she and Eleyn have become very good friends. And they lured her to a lake! - he repeated, the serpent's eyes going full-blown wide in realization

- Are you saying...? - he had begun asking.

- I think so, yes. I mean, it's the only feasible explanation I can think of -

- But why?! - the demon hissed, eyebrows going down in confusion.

- No clue – the angel promptly replied – But whatever it is, I'm quite sure the Gospel of John might be able to enlighten us -

- I'm afraid I don't follow – Muriel said, making the angel look towards her – What exactly are you saying, Aziraphale? -

- What I'm trying to tell you – he clarified – is that everything they did to you was intentional. It was a plan to manipulate Eleyn; because they knew that she wouldn't hesitate to protect you – the scrivener looked at her best friend, the fondness in her eyes enough to melt the core of the Earth – Even if that meant walking on water – Aziraphale concluded, Muriel looking back at him with widened eyes.

- The sign... – Eleyn uttered, finally connecting the dots – They did it to trigger the third sign! -

- That's it – the angel nodded, then turned back to Crowley – Whatever The Metatron wants to happen, he's trying to make it happen faster -

- We need to get our hands on that book – the demon hissed – Now -


Phew, thank someone they got out of that pickle! However, the situation seems to worsen...NEXT CHAPTER, we accompany our favorite ineffable quartet to the auction event at the National Gallery! With angels and demons plotting against them, who knows what will happen next? (You're getting Crowley in a three-piece, that much I can tell you :) )

You genuinely don't know how honoured I am that you would take a second out of your probably very busy day to read this little story my brain made up. Thank you so much for reading, and please feel free to review both for good or for bad!

Love ya! Have an ineffably wonderful...eh...I should stop promising I'll publish by a deadline when I in fact publish a week after said dedline, shouldn't I? Oh well, I'll do my best! Have an ineffably wonderful time!

P.S. : No disrespect was meant towards The Sound of Music (cinema scene), I swear.