Chapter 16 - Lessons In Zaniness
February, 1992
Friday came sooner than Yakko had expected. While he didn't admit it out loud, he was growing tired of sitting in a hot classroom all week, being lectured on material which had become routine to Yakko at this point. He would often read ahead in the textbook, and would later have to pretend to not know what Miss. Flamiel was talking about when the material was finally brought up a month later.
Which was why, after having to endure another painfully slow lecture earlier this morning, Yakko was more than happy that today was one of his weekly tutoring sessions. It was the only place where he was allowed to show off his abilities freely, with few limitations to what he was allowed to do.
Yakko wouldn't call himself a bragger per say, but he would be lying if he said that he didn't adore the attention he received from his mentors. His eyes glittered as he watched Dean turn his way with a smirk.
"Alright, Yakko. You know the drill," said Dean, clasping his hands. "Whatcha gonna give us today?"
Yakko rubbed his hands together, putting on a smirk that rivaled Dean's. His mind flourished at the idea of a challenge. Passing up such a golden opportunity as this one would be a waste of his artistic talent, a punch to his vibrant imagination. Yakko knew that he had to be bold, if he ever wanted people to see what he is worth.
He found himself chuckling, as the gears in his head began to turn. "Oh, I got some tricks up my sleeve, LightningRod, old pal!" Yakko told him vaguely, purposefully leaving his intentions a mystery. "Just you wait!"
His smirk as prominent as ever, Yakko threw his left arm into his hammerspace. He chuckled to himself, thinking that he was being clever. He couldn't wait to see the look on Dean's face when he saw what he was about to create with his hammerspace. Him and Joey were going to learn just how much Yakko has improved his abilities over the past couple months.
Yakko could already feel an entity taking shape in the palm of his hand. His excitement only grew after that, the gears in his head turning at a steadier pace. He could feel the ink pumping through his veins, the muscles in his arms pulsing vigorously.
"Don't overdo it, Yakko," he could hear Joey call out to him, "You don't want to wear out your muscles by putting so much weight on your hands."
Yakko shot Joey with a dismissive glare. "Pfft. I'll be fine," he assured him, "I know my hammerspace better than anyone. I know what I'm doing."
He returned his focus to the task at hand. Yakko could feel his entity grow inside of the invisible pocket, its texture, weight, and ability rapidly taking form. The subject was growing in mass, becoming much heavier than he had originally anticipated. Yakko pushed on despite this, gritting his teeth, sweat trickling down his face.
"Yakko looks constipated," Wakko could be heard whispering into his sister's ear. Dot almost wheezed, and the two of them covered their hands over their mouths and laughed hysterically.
Yakko scowled, but he decided to ignore his younger brother's crude remark. He kept on stretching his imagination, the entity inside him growing at a substantial rate. His arm was growing sore from having his hand in his hammerspace for so long; Yakko thought that he would've pulled out ages ago. But he knew it was too late to give up now.
I have to do this, Yakko told himself, bracing through the pain, I can't let them down.
He tried his hardest to keep his arm steady, as he pushed to finish his movement. The swelling in his arm only grew worse; it was impossible to ignore it now. Yakko could feel his fingers growing numb, but he tried to push through the pain. His spine, too, was aching from having his hammerspace exposed. Yakko's face twisted, his face turning a bright indigo.
Wakko and Dot weren't laughing anymore, now looking at their eldest brother with worrying eyes. Yakko tried to keep his eyes set on his siblings, to distract himself from the pain, just for a little while. But his vision was quickly blurring, and an excessive ringing had begun to take place in his ears.
"I…must…," he breathed, meekly, "m-must…do…this-"
"PULL OUT, YAKKO!! PULL OUT!!"
Try as he might, Yakko couldn't do it. He yanked his arm out of his hammerspace, the palm of his hand bare of any object. Immediately after, Yakko felt himself collapse onto the floor, his legs no longer having the strength to stand. His left arm was now completely numb from his elbow down. His right arm still functioning, Yakko put a hand to his face. His forehead was drenched with sweat, and his face was entirely flushed.
Yakko groaned. He had never felt so exhausted in his life. It was now where he started to regret pushing himself as hard as he did. But how was Yakko supposed to know that his hammerspace would fail? His hammerspace had never failed on him before. There must be something wrong with him-
" Gah! Cold!"
Next thing he knew, someone threw a giant ice pack smack top of his head. Yakko winced as his forehead was hit with a rush of cold. Despite the rude awakening, he didn't feel nearly as exhausted as he did a moment prior. He opened his eyes and was greeted with Joey's face hovering over him.
"Great news! The kid is alive," Joey said to LightningRod, who was standing beside him. He returned his eyes to Yakko. "You nearly gave me a heart attack with your fall! Can I ask what on earth you were trying to make with your hammerspace?"
Yakko let out a heaving sigh as he found the energy to pull himself into a sitting position, keeping hold of the ice pack with his right hand. He felt a pain in his spine as he sat upward, causing the fur on his back to prickle.
"Let me guess: was it an elephant?" Asked Dean, in an attempt to lighten the weight of the situation.
"Two, actually," replied Yakko.
Joey shook his head in disbelief. "What did I tell you, Yakko? You're not ready to tackle large entities yet."
"Would it have been worse if it were hippos instead?" Yakko smirked, trying to suppress himself from laughing.
Joey's eyes furrowed. "I don't think it's very funny, Yakko," he told him firmly, "You could kill yourself if you're not careful! Once you sever your hammerspace, you can't grow it back. Do you understand?"
Yakko's smirk disappeared. Suddenly, he felt a pain in his gut, and he knew for certain that it wasn't being caused by his exhaustion. What started out as a standard tutoring session had turned into a massive panic, no thanks to him. Not only did his body hurt, but he found his heart was hurting, too.
He sighed. "Sorry," he muttered, eyes veering down at his sore legs.
"Now I'm not a doctor, but I think you experienced some toon whiplash from this stunt you tried to pull," Joey went on, his frown remaining, "At most, that could put you out for about two weeks."
Yakko's eyes bulged. He gasped. "W-what do you mean? I'm not gonna die, am I!?"
Joey shook his head. "No, but you're not gonna live this down," he said earnestly, "See, your hammerspace can only expand to a certain size before your body has to start extracting external ink from your blood. If your body isn't used to expansion, it can wear your hammerspace out."
Yakko nodded, trying his best to keep his focus away from his fatigued arm. He had never heard of this 'whiplash' before; he couldn't recall seeing it in any of the books he had read.
"I know you like to show off to us," Joey continued, "but I don't want to see you hurt yourself trying to impress us."
Yakko took the ice pack off of his forehead, his face not nearly as flushed as it was prior. Dean gave him a bottle of water, which he gladly drank. As he clenched his thirst, Yakko considered what Joey had told him. Every day, during his tutoring sessions, he would go out of his way to push himself to his absolute limit, impressing both Joey and Dean with what he could do with his hammerspace.
It's the strongest part about me, Yakko told himself, I can navigate my hammerspace like my backyard. Every toon has one. If I didn't have my hammerspace, I wouldn't be where I am now.
Yakko knew that if he ever wanted a chance at this, he had to push himself hard, harder than he ever has before. But what if Joey was right? What if he was pushing himself too hard? He nearly passed out while trying to push the envelope with what his hammerspace was capable of.
But if I don't push myself, and I play things safe…No! I have to push myself! I can't go back there!
"Uh, Yakko?"
His eyes flickered, not realizing that he had been zoning out.
"Y-yes, Joey. I'm okay," he said, rubbing his arm," Just..sore is all."
"Well we're gonna call it quits for today," Joey told Yakko, standing up, "We should take you to the nurse, so that she can take a closer look at that arm."
"I'll take the kids," said LightningRod, still sporting an ever wide grin despite what had happened. "Who's up for some ice cream?"
"Me! Me!" Wakko and Dot chanted, jumping up and down with identical grins.
"Ice cream is fine," Joey shot a grin at the three, "Just don't overdo it on the sprinkles."
"No promises," Wakko replied, laughing.
Yakko watched as Dean led his siblings out of the tutoring facility. It was typical for LightningRod to buy them treats at the commissary after their session. Dean had the tendency to be obnoxious and aloof, but Yakko appreciated his generosity towards them. How much he wished he could go along with them, instead of being confined here…
Eh, it's fine, he thought after a moment, I don't want to ruin my appetite.
Joey reached his arm out and helped Yakko onto his feet. He groaned, a pain shot down his thigh. He still couldn't feel his left arm. The spot on his back where his hammerspace was felt unbearable.
"You think you're gonna make it?" Joey asked, noticing the squirmed look on Yakko's face.
"Yeah. Yeah. I'll be fine," he replied, "as long as I walk slow."
Joey kept his hand on Yakko's waist as he began to clomp forward. With every passing step, Yakko had to bite his lip as he braced through the pain. It felt like he was carrying a massive sandbag on his back, each step he took felt awkward and jagged. He probably looked really stupid right now; Yakko certainly felt like it.
But he supposed that he should've expected an outcome like this. He had no idea what he was thinking trying to create an entire elephant with his hammerspace, let alone two. Yakko flourished in the idea of risks, and, in spite of the less than stellar condition he had put himself in, he felt it would be wrong to regret himself for at least trying to pull through.
I'll be able to do it someday, not too long from now, Yakko told himself, envying the thought.
"But we've been doing this for soooo long!"
"Yeah! And you promised that we could play after we finished reading!"
"And you promised us ice cream too! Right, Yakko?"
Yakko sighed, putting his hand up to the bridge of his nose. It had been a couple hours since they got home from the studio. Wakko and Dot were eager to spend the rest of the day goofing off in the backyard, but Yakko had insisted that they catch up on some of the assignments that Miss. Flamiel had given them. Helping his sibs with their homework was far from easy, but someone had to be there to make sure that they did it. Yakko tried his best to be as patient as physically possible, but moments like these reminded him of how hard it was being an older brother.
"Didn't you guys just have ice cream, like, three hours ago?" He queried.
"Yes, three! Three hours without any ice cream!" Wakko wailed, slamming his head against the kitchen table.
"Wow. What a tragedy," Yakko said, not even trying to hide his sarcasm, "I guess you'll have to wait. Besides, I said that you could play after we review. It won't take much longer, I promise."
Dot pouted upon hearing this. "I'm tired of sitting here!" she whined, crossing her arms, "I wanna do something else.
"Me too!" Wakko added, "We do this every day!"
You're telling me! I want to leave this room and be done with this as much as you do!
Yakko figured that doing homework would be the last thing on his siblings mind, hence why they were being so fussy right now. But Wakko and Dot were beginning to fall behind in class, not studying and generally being disinterested in the material. They wanted to act on stage, not be stuck in a steaming hot classroom all day. Yakko couldn't really blame them; he wanted to be done with this course, too.
But there was a big test on the horizon, the deciding factor to whether or not Yakko and his siblings would be allowed to perform on a real TV set. He made it his goal to prepare himself as much as he could, and he wanted his siblings to do the same.
I can't let them fall behind, Yakko thought to himself, his lip quivered. If they fail the test, who knows what will happen then! I can't let that happen! We're siblings! We have to-
"Why are you making that face?"
"Whu-" Yakko's face went blank, having realized that his grievances were causing him to start spiraling. He cleared his throat. "I don't know what you're talking about, sis," he told his baby sister.
"No. That face. You were thinking about something," Dot insisted, pressing her hands against the table.
Yakko started to sweat. "N-nevermind," he said, trying to sway the conversation, "Let's just get back to work-"
"I saw it, too!" Wakko piped up, suddenly. "You were making that constipated face again."
This remark prompted the two younger siblings to snort in laughter. Yakko sighed, rubbing his temples. He failed to understand why his siblings had to be such nuisances sometimes.
"What's up with you and the potty humor?" He shot a disapproving glare at Wakko. "Where'd you learn that word anyway?"
"LightningRod," he answered, putting on an innocent face.
How could I have guessed? Yakko thought to himself. He wasn't very close with Dean, but Wakko has been all over the guy for the past month and a half. He acts like the guy is his uncle or something.
"Well don't go around repeating that word," he warned his sibling, "unless you want the grown ups to give you a glare colder than the arctic."
Wakko groaned, and slumped back in his chair. "You're no fun," he whined.
"Life isn't fun," Yakko told him, bluntly.
"Aren't you a little young to be saying that?"
Yakko gasped. Out of nowhere, Joey popped his head around the corner and was peering into the kitchen. It caught him by surprise; Yakko hoped he hadn't been staring at them for too long.
"Well, it's not very fun trying to help two rowdy kids do their homework," he said, wincing at a growing migraine.
"Perhaps," Joey shrugged, shuffling his way into the kitchen. "How long have you three been at this?"
"For an eternity!" moaned Wakko. "My butt hurts!"
"We wanna go outside!" Dot exclaimed, "but Yakko doesn't want us to have fun!"
Yakko scowled at both his siblings. He couldn't believe the exaggerated words that were coming out of their mouths.
"I never said that!" He snapped at them. "If you would stop complaining and just do the work, it wouldn't take so long, now would it!?"
"Nevermind, Yakko," Joey told him, "I think that's enough homework for one day."
"What!?" He gaped. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "B-but Wakko and Dot-"
"Will do their homework later," Joey interrupted, "You go ahead and play, you two."
Wakko and Dot cheered up almost instantly. With matching grins, they practically leapt out of their chairs and sprinted out the back door, not even bothering to shut it on their way out.
Yakko almost had to pinch himself. He could only stare with bulging eyes at the open doorway. He glanced back at Joey a minute later, barring the same dazed expression.
"What was that all about?" Was what he wanted to know.
"Class isn't 'till Monday, Yakko. Tomorrow is Saturday," Joey informed him. "Wakko and Dot have done their homework every night this week. Why not let them enjoy themselves?"
There was a part of Yakko that wanted to reject that logic. Yes, it was the weekend, but even that was enough time for Wakko and Dot to become rusty on their skills. They simply weren't spending enough time every night sharpening their toon minds. Somebody has to step in and reinforce them, holding them to a higher standard than they hold themselves.
But frankly, Yakko felt too exhausted to continue arguing. He already felt a headache coming on. The last thing he needed was someone shouting in his ear.
"Fine." At long last, he gave in. "Those two need to get their energy out one way or another."
"They're full of life, that's for sure," Joey chuckled. He then placed a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you go outside with them, Yakko? It's your weekend, too."
"Sure," said Yakko. He figured he needed to watch his siblings, to make sure they didn't get hurt or attempt anything stupid.
A cool breeze brushed against his tufts as he stepped out into the backyard. Yakko couldn't help but admit it was lovely outside. The sun was starting to set behind the silhouettes of skyscrapers and palm trees, a red-orange tint glazing the sky. A smile graced his face when he saw his siblings playing on a playground set that Joey had built for them. The innocent sounds of laughter and cheers of glee filled the yard.
Yakko sat himself down on a patio chair with a thud, his eyes set on his two siblings. He thought he was too old for the playground, but admittedly, it looked rather fun. It was good for Wakko and Dot to have a playground that they could call their own, rather than sharing a playground with other kids.
"Watcha sitting there for?" Wakko called out from the top of the slide. "Come play with us!"
"No thanks," Yakko replied, "I'll watch you two from here."
He didn't want to move around too much. His back was still killing him from earlier, and his left arm ached while shifting himself in his chair.
"Yakko's a party pooper," Dot teased, as she sat down on the swing. "Hey, Wakko! Come down from there and push me!"
"Fine. Only because Yakko's "too busy" to play," sneered Wakko. The boy quickly slid down the slide before running towards the swings to Dot's aid.
Now Yakko wore a grimace. It was starting to irk him hearing the way Wakko and Dot talked about him. He was used to his siblings teasing him; he was guilty of teasing them himself. But for the last few days, Yakko was starting to notice a pattern. Wakko and Dot were picking on him at a much deeper level, using foul words that he never imagined would emerge from the deepest sewers of their vocal cords.
It's gotten to the point where his siblings weren't listening to him anymore. Yakko asks them to do their homework, Wakko and Dot whine and complain about it and call him a party pooper. Meanwhile, Joey builds them a playground, buys them toys and ice cream, and introduces them to his friend who teaches them foul language.
Yakko swore to himself that if he heard one more poop joke fly out of Wakko and Dot's mouth, then he was going to have some serious discussions with them about what is appropriate and what is not.
More than anything, he didn't want his siblings to fall behind in school, because they would rather indulge in treats all day while mocking their older brother for caring about them.
A short while later, Yakko saw Joey emerge onto the patio. He paid no attention to the man at first, his eyes remained locked onto a particular spot of the picket fence surrounding their yard.
"How ya doing, Yakko?" He queried, his voice particularly chipper. "It's nice out here, isn't it?"
"I guess," he shrugged, keeping his distant gaze.
A brief silence passed before Joey spoke up. "You okay, kid?" He asked. "Tired?"
Yakko turned his head. His eyes looked faded in the growing dusk. He was about to open his mouth to speak, before someone else beat him to the punch.
"Yakko's being a party pooper!" taunted Wakko.
Dot giggled. "Yeah! He doesn't want to have fun with us," she jibed.
Yakko felt his face turn red, from embarrassment and from rage. He has had quite enough of his sibling's mocking him for one did. He stood up from his chair. "Now, listen here, si-"
Whatever Yakko was going to say was cut off, when he felt a striking pain shoot up his back. He yelped, collapsed onto his knees.
" Gak! My back!" He bellowed, his face twisting in discomfort.
It was quite possibly the worst time for something like this to occur. Just when he was about to reprimand his siblings for their teasing, he humiliates himself right before their eyes, making an utter fool of himself.
And Wakko and Dot weren't getting enough of it. Both of them had collapsed into a fit of laughter. Wakko had plummeted onto the grass, crying tears of glee amidst Yakko's misery. Even Joey had started laughing along with them. They were all pointing their fingers, their laughter echoed all around him.
Yakko scrunched his lip, a bitter scowl taking form. Never has he been so humiliated in all his life.
"Yakko's an old geezer," ridiculed his younger brother, wiping tears from his eyes.
"He can't even stand up without hurting his poor old back," Dot sneered.
Yakko growled, tightening his lip. " Not! Funny!" he snarled, feeling the growing flames from within. As expected, his words flew right over their heads. Wakko and Dot laughed without sense.
"I mean, you did sound like an old person there," admitted Joey, shrugging, "Sore back doesn't help, either."
He shook his head, letting out a long sigh. First, he failed at a hammerspace movement, and now this. How was he supposed to bounce back after facing so much ridicule?
"Alright, alright. Simmer down," Joey said, putting an end to the younger two siblings's laughing fit. "Looks like the sun is setting over the farm, so let's call it quits for the night."
Joey turned around and started walking back towards the house. Wakko and Dot, having finally regained their composure, followed close behind. Yakko waited for the group to get a good distance away before he finally slouched up from his chair. He lumbered across the back lawn, taking ample time with each footstep. He was in no rush to get inside.
When he finally did make it back inside, Wakko and Dot had already raced back to their bedrooms, to presumably get ready for bed. The kitchen table had been cleared of their textbooks and school paper. Joey must have put all of it back into their respective backpacks before he came outside.
Hopefully he didn't put my textbooks in Wakko's bag again, Yakko thought, scoffing at the thought.
With a sigh, Yakko shuffled his way past the kitchen table. He was gonna head straight to the bathroom, change his clothes, and head straight to bed. He wanted to end this horrible day as soon as possible-
"Yakko?"
He froze, right as he was rounding the corner into the hallway. He poked his head back into the kitchen. Joey was leaning his arm against the kitchen table, sporting a soft look in his eyes.
"Stick around for a moment. We need to talk."
Those words caused Yakko's heart to drop. As if his day couldn't have gotten any worse.
What does he want? He thought, I didn't do anything wrong, did I? Please tell me I didn't do something wrong!
His mind flaring with uncertainty, Yakko reemerged into the kitchen.
"Sit down," said Joey. Yakko did, pulling out a chair and slowly bending down into it. He bit his lip, crossing his legs uncomfortably in his seat.
As soon as he had sat down, Joey shifted over to the kitchen table, sitting in the chair right across from Yakko. There was a short pause between the two of them. The silence felt like an eternity to Yakko's mind.
"This is about earlier, isn't it?" Yakko spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
Joey nodded. "You're a great mind reader," he praised, though kept a frown.
Yakko's lip quivered. There was a dreadful feeling in his mind that his actions from earlier would come back to bite him where it hurts most. He knew exactly how this was going to go down, and he didn't like it one bit.
All he was left to do now was defend his record.
"Look, Joe. I-I know that what I did earlier was not a proud moment. And I get it. But I promise you..I, uh, I can do so much better. There's so much I have left to show you and-"
"Woah. Woah. Hold it, Yakko," Joey stopped him, throwing his hands up. "Who's saying that you don't have anything left to show?"
Yakko's panic was quickly swept over by confusion. "What- what do you mean?" He asked. "You mean..I'm not getting the ax?"
Joey made a face. "No one said you were. I'm not gonna ax you. Are you kidding?"
His eyes widened. "Well..I-isn't that what we're talking about?"
"Not even close," Joey shook his head, "I was gonna ask you about school. It has nothing to do with what happened back at the studio."
Now Yakko blushed, realizing that he's gotten way ahead of himself. He was so riled up in that moment that he had moved his lips without thought, shining a spotlight in his own grievances.
Me and my big mouth, Yakko thought, bitterly. He wanted to crawl into the nearest corner and cry.
Joey, meanwhile, was looking at him with solemn eyes. It was obvious to Yakko that the man had realized that something was wrong with him. Yakko couldn't come to answer that question himself. He kept his eyes away from Joey's intense glance, opting to stare distantly at the wooden pattern of the table.
"What happened back there must've really shaken you up," Joey spoke after a moment. "You're feeling remorse over what happened, aren't you?"
Yakko sighed, uncomfortably. "I just don't know what got into me. I've been using my hammerspace since I was five. I've failed at movements many times before, but never have I failed this badly!" He felt himself cringe, as he held back tears. "I don't know what to do. I think something is wrong with me."
He watched as Joey scratched the back of his neck, his frown deepened. Yakko hoped he didn't overwhelm him with his thoughts. Joey then shot Yakko with a passionate stare.
"Nothing is wrong with you, Yakko," Joey told him firmly, "I wouldn't have gotten you here if I didn't believe there was something special about you."
"Really?"
He nodded. "Everyone makes mistakes, kid. Trust me, I've made my share of mistakes throughout my life. It's normal." Joey turned his head to look at something. "Hold on."
Joey got up from his chair suddenly and trotted over to the fridge. Yakko cocked an eyebrow, wondering what he was doing. He watched Joey reach his arm into his hammerspace, pulling out some object from its opening. The object in question turned out to be a silver glass; that was when Yakko finally connected the dots.
"Carrot juice?" His eyes lit up.
"Your favorite," Joey smiled, as he grabbed a carton of carrot juice from the fridge and poured it into the glass.
As soon as he was handed the glass, Yakko instantly took a sip. He took a few hearty gulps before setting the glass down, wiping his mouth with his arm. He'd been drinking the stuff frequently, ever since the day Bugs first introduced him to it. He just realized now that it had been a while since he fixed himself to carrot juice.
Perhaps this day wasn't as bad as I thought, Yakko told himself, the juice having quite literally washed his grievances away.
"I figured you were thirsty," Joey said, sitting back down. "Better?"
"Uh huh," he nodded, a smile finally emerged.
"How's that arm of yours?"
"Better," Yakko said, "It still feels sort of cramped, but it doesn't hurt to move anymore."
"Good to hear," replied Joey, folding his hands on the table. "Heloise said to rest your hammerspace for the next few days. But, once the cramping goes away, you should be good to use it again."
"Yeah," he nodded, taking another sip of carrot juice. "You don't think it will affect my performance in any way, do you?"
"It shouldn't," Joey shook his head. He put on a more serious gaze. "I wouldn't worry too much about perfection if I were you. You're just a student, after all."
Yakko felt his hand tremble slightly as he set his glass down. He felt this conversation was digging a little too deep for his liking.
"But I want to improve myself," he confessed to Joey, "I want to become the best toon I can possibly be."
"And that's fine, but that shouldn't come at the cost of your safety," the man remarked, "Your hammerspace isn't strong enough to handle those types of movements yet."
"Apparently not," Yakko muttered, peering sideways.
"You're a hammerspace toon, huh?"
Yakko tilted his head. "What do you mean by that?" He asked.
"Well, every toon has their own expertise," Joey elaborated, "It's what differentiates Bugs Bunny from, say, Wile Coyote. Some toons thrive in physical comedy, while others prefer sarcasm and inside jokes. You obviously know your way around your hammerspace."
"Yes," nodded Yakko. It seemed like Joey was finally getting him. "It's how I won the talent show, remember?"
"Oh, how could I forget?" Joey chuckled. "I couldn't stop talking about it for the rest of the week. I was driving my brother up the wall. He told me that a bird would only get you so far. Apparently, Robby isn't a fan of talking animals."
"Pfft. Rob doesn't know talent," he rolled his eyes. Joey's brother sounded like a bigger jerk than he originally thought. "If he were to walk in on us talking right now, I ought to show him a real bird."
Joey snorted, before breaking into a fit of laughter. Yakko had expected to grab attention with this remark, but he hadn't expected to make the man laugh out loud, which really caught him by surprise.
"Rob isn't known for spreading around sunshine and rainbows," Joey recalled, wiping a tear from his eye. "I gotta hand it to ya, kid. That was a real wisecrack you gave there."
"It was just an observation," Yakko shrugged, seeing nothing special about this. "Everyone on the lot knows how he is."
This prompted Joey to raise an eyebrow. "I don't know why you're so set on pulling off physical stunts. Your verbal comedy is spot on, in my view."
Yakko was still doubtful. "I'm not consistent with that kind of material," he told him, "I know my hammerspace better than anyone."
"Whatever you want, kid," replied Joey, solemnly, "But, please, take it easy for the next few days. It takes a while for your hammerspace to heal from whiplash."
"I know," Yakko sighed. He scooted his chair back, standing up with an exhausted groan. "I think I'm gonna go to sleep."
"Good call," Joey smiled, "Goodnight, kid."
Yakko said nothing as he lumbered slowly out of the kitchen. He felt better knowing that Joey wasn't mad at him for causing so much alarm earlier today, but he still couldn't help but feel disappointed with himself. He wasn't sure what Joey meant by 'verbal comedy', but Yakko thought it was best to ignore this advice.
I know my hammerspace better than anyone, he repeated to himself. Joey has only known me for so long; he hasn't seen what I am fully capable of.
Joey wasn't his real father. Yakko knew this. True, things were much better now than they were less than a year ago, but he still felt like an outcast. He still felt a burning feeling in his chest that urged him to keep fighting.
I don't care what anyone thinks! Yakko vowed, I know what is best for me and my family!
Two weeks later
After attending another painfully boring lecture, Yakko was particularly excited for today's weekly tutoring session. His hammerspace had long healed from his mishap a couple weeks prior; Yakko felt he was more energetic than ever.
Joey had to attend a meeting around one o'clock, leaving Yakko and his siblings in the hands of Dean. While Yakko preferred he be here for their Friday session, LightningRod wasn't too bad of an instructor he supposed.
Dean came striding into the rec room, head held high, shoulders swaying back and forth with his steps. He slicked back his wavy hair, took off his sunglasses and tossed it into his hammerspace.
"What's up kiddos!" He greeted them, as lively as ever. "Whatcha think of my new vest?" He was wearing a navy blue leather vest, with vibrant orange flames stitched onto the side.
"Ooo!" Wakko's eyes lit it, Dean's extravagant attire clearly catching his attention. "Where'd you get that? It looks so cool!"
"From one of my motorcycle buddies, Wakko, my dude," replied Dean. He came over and gave Wakko a noogie, much to the boy's delight.
Yakko looked on with a passive glance, not at all interested in the vest. I'm not here for a fashion show, he thought.
"How's my little cutie-patootie!" Dean picked up Dot and held her up in his arms. The girl laughed, enjoying the sensation of being high in the air.
Yakko kept his stare at a distance, away from where Dean was standing. He knew Wakko and Dot loved the guy: his bear hugs, his jokes, and his confidence. They see him as a role model. They look up to him..
"And how's my man Yakko doing?"
Yakko gasped, eyes darted up when he saw Dean quickly approaching, balancing his own baby sister on the base of his hip. He had to force a smile onto his face, as Dean clenched his hand for a fist bump.
"I'm doing fine," he stated, lightly tapping his fist against Dean's.
"Good to hear!" Grinned Dean. He gave Dot a boop on the nose before setting her down beside her older brother, much to Yakko's relief. "I guess we can start now. I just gotta find the lesson plan Joey gave to me."
About time we did. He rolled his eyes, tapping his foot against the floor.
He watched as Dean fidgeted his hand, trying to locate the paper from within his hammerspace. Yakko had to restrain himself from sighing, growing tired of all the dawdling. Joey would never hesitate with lesson plans; it seemed like he always knew exactly what they needed to work on.
After stumbling around in there for much longer than necessary, Dean was able to find the lesson plans. He squinted his eyes at the paper, taking a close look at what was written.
"It says here that you guys should continue working on your physical performance," he said, reading off the paper. Dean smirked. "You know what that means.."
Yakko looked at Dean. A sparkle was emitting from his eyes, and, suddenly, he found himself smirking too.
"HAMMER TIME!!" Yakko and Dean yelled at the exact same time, causing both to laugh joyously together.
It looked like Joey knew that Yakko's hammerspace would be healed in time for another session of fast reflexes and rampant imaginations. Yakko felt a fiery sensation growing inside him. He was ready, as soon as he got the call-
"I'm just gonna let you have at it, man!" Dean said, taking a few steps back, "You're the expert here."
That was all it took. Yakko felt the familiar sensation of his mind running rampant, coming up with a million ideas per second. He enjoyed this feeling tremendously. His energy was vibrant, bouncing off every person that was in the room with him.
"Don't crap yourself again, Yakko!" His brother taunted. He laughed wickedly, prompting Dot to join in.
Yakko scowled at him. "Not again, little brother!" He clapped back, "You watch and learn!"
He wasn't gonna allow Wakko's vile remarks to get to his head. Not this time. If he and Dot were going to dare and doubt his ability to perform, then they were gonna be struck with a massive wake up call. They were gonna learn just what their older brother was capable of, putting an end to their teasing once and for all!
Yakko winded up his arm, feeling the blood pumping in his veins. As soon as he felt ready, he threw his arm back and shoved his hand down into his hammerspace.
I know what I'm doing! he told himself, shutting his eyes. I've been here before! All I gotta do is stay calm and stay focused! I can't slip up now!
He removed any thought of the incident from his brain. Yakko knew he couldn't dwell on it forever. If he wanted to see success for himself, he had to get this down. He had to show them what he is truly capable of.
Everything started off well. Yakko could already feel an entity start to take shape in the palm of his hand. The gears in his mind turned faster as he focused on his movement, focused on his posture, focused on his craft.
He didn't feel any sort of pain in his arm, nor his back. Yakko tried to keep his calm as he performed his movement. The entity inside him was growing at a steady rate. It wouldn't be much longer until it came to life.
You can do this, Yakko, he kept telling himself. You're almost there!
Yakko gritted his teeth, persistent in getting this down. It was far too late to give up now. He couldn't bear the thought of another disappointment, he couldn't bear taking any more ridicule than what he already had to endure. He was determined to leave those days in the dust.
His entity was growing still. Yakko groaned, feeling his hammerspace weighing down on him. His heart pounded in his chest. There was a growing pain circulating in his lower back. But Yakko stayed put, bracing himself through the discomfort. He wasn't going to give into his doubts. Yakko was going to pull through. He would come out victorious. Just another moment from now…
Yakko pulled his arm out, exhaling a great amount. He rested his open hand on his forehead, feeling sweat drip from his fingertips. He had pushed himself, and pushed himself hard, but he knew he had done it.
Feeling confident in his results, Yakko opened his eyes, and saw the entity that had emerged from his hammerspace.
This creature was small. In fact, it was tiny, much smaller than Yakko had imagined it being. It was lanky in form, coated with a murky green shade. It had large, black pupils, which blinked at the sight of Yakko's face.
"A worm!?"
Yakko gawked at the sight of the ugly looking creature. He couldn't believe it. All his hopes diminished in an instant, replaced with a burdening disappointment.
"Eww!! What is that!?" Dot shrieked, disgusted by the tiny green worm resting on Yakko's hand.
Wakko snickered. "Wow, Yakko! I'm sooo impressed!" He jeered.
"Ah, shut up!" Yakko snapped, cheeks turning red. "That's not what I wanted to do! I was trying to create a snake. A king cobra!"
"Hmm. It's not a very big snake," Wakko pointed out, giving his brother a dismissive glare.
Yakko groaned, angrily slapping his hand against his forehead. He blew it. He had the golden opportunity to redeem himself from his previous blunder, and he blew it. How could this happen? How could he manage to screw up a hammerspace movement not once, but twice?
There was a dreadful feeling inside Yakko that this failure was going to haunt him for a long time.
With great disappointment, Yakko shoved the ugly little worm right back into his hammerspace where it came from. He hoped he never had to see that thing ever again!
"I think you might want this."
Yakko looked up, and saw Dean waving a cold bottle of water in front of his face. His eyes widened, having not expected the gesture.
"Huh? How'd ya know I was thirsty?"
"Your face is redder than a cherry tomato," observed Dean. "I don't want you dropping to the ground again. Now go on and drink."
He took the bottle of water from Dean's hand, without expressing any gratitude, and took a swig of it. Dean was being peculiarly nice to him; Yakko would have thought he would join his siblings in belittling him.
"Can I sit down?" He asked Dean, eyeing a bench resting against the wall.
"I mean- go for it, man," Dean shrugged, "I'm pretty sure your done for today, unless you want to try aga-"
"No! I mean- Uuuhh..I think I'll just sit down, i-if that's okay."
With a head turn, Yakko dragged himself over to the bench, and plopped down onto it with a grunt. He took another swig of water from his bottle, before placing the bottle to the side of him. Then he slumped his back, let out a sigh, and rested his fist against his cheek.
He watched distantly as his brother got a chance to show off his abilities. Wakko reached into his hammerspace and pulled out an empty sack. The boy had a harder time navigating his hammerspace than Yakko did, so Joey gave him what he called a 'gag bag' as an alternative until he got better at it. The toothy grin on Wakko's face gleamed as he reached into the seemingly empty sack and pulled out a tasty bologna sandwich, which he gladly ate in one bite. Dean led Dot in clapping for Wakko's successful movement.
Of course they cheer him on! Yakko scowled, eyebrows furrowed at his brother. They never clap when I do something right!
It was so unfair to him. Wakko will ridicule him for failing to do a movement correctly, yet he expects everyone to throw him a parade for making a measly sandwich! Yakko knew for a fact that his brother wouldn't like it if he were to hound him over his mistakes.
Next, it was Dot's turn to perform a movement. She knew how to use her hammerspace – and she was getting quite good at it – but still insisted that she use Wakko's gag bag.
"I find it easier this way," she told Dean.
"Whatever rocks your boat," the man shrugged, "Have at it!"
Dot proceeded to reach her arm into the bag. A few seconds later, she pulled her hand out, holding a pink sparkly bracelet between her fingers. She slipped the bracelet onto her wrist, a smile shining through.
"Don't I look pretty?" She asked, twirling around while showing her arm.
"You look the same," stated Wakko.
"No I don't!" Dot exclaimed, mildly offended. "I got a bracelet on. See?"
"Oh, I see it, Dot. You are cute as a button!" Complimented Dean, giving her a thumbs up.
Dot practically squeeled with joy, as she ran up and hugged Dean's hug. "Thanks, Rod!" she told him, "You're the best!"
Yakko rolled his eyes. Dean was such a pushover. He allowed Wakko and Dot to do whatever they wanted. He'd only say what they wanted to hear, only for them to pounce all over him demanding even more attention. And Dean was apprently totally fine with this. Was the guy even capable of saying no?
I wish Joey was here, Yakko thought, letting out a sigh, he would never allow my siblings to act like such brats!
"Hey, gang! How are things going here?"
As if his thoughts were foreseeing the future, Joey walked into the rec room, holding a fresh cup of coffee in his hand. Joining him was Dr. Scratchansniff, who was holding an identical cup of coffee to Joey. Yakko's head perked up slightly, not expecting him to come back so early. Why was Scratchandsniff with him?
"Hey! It's my favorite Joester!" Greeted Dean, in his usual unbeat tone. "How'd that meeting go for ya?"
"Went about as expected. Typical business stuff," Joey said, taking a sip of his coffee. "How about you? Kids give you a hard time?"
"Not at all, Joey-roni," Dean shook his hand. "We did a little hammerspace action. That's about it."
"Oo! Oo! Joey! Look at my bracelet!" Dot exclaimed, showing Joey her arm. "I made it myself."
Joey smiled. "It looks nice on you," he told her.
Dot beamed, relishing the compliment. Wakko rolled his eyes, tired of seeing his sister getting all the praise from the adults.
"Hey, Scratchy! What brings you here, man?" Asked Dean, just now noticing the psychiatrist's presence.
"Yeah?" Wakko piped up, "Why are you here, Mr P-sychiatrist?"
" Psychiatrist, Vakko!" Corrected Dr. Scratchansniff, "I am ze psychiatrist! And I am on my break."
"I bumped into Scratchy after I finished talking with Plotz," recounted Joey, "We went down and treated ourselves to some cups of joe before walking over here."
This got a chuckle out of Dean. "I see what you did there," he said.
Yakko watched their conversation from a distance, occasionally taking tiny sips from his water bottle. He didn't feel as fatigued as he was five minutes ago, but, mentally speaking, he was exhausted. Hopefully, as soon as the grown ups were finished talking, he would be allowed to go home. He was already mentally preparing himself for all the jabs Wakko and Dot were going to throw at him on the car ride home.
"Yakko? What are you doing all the way over there?"
Yakko perked up. Joey had turned his head, finally noticing that he was sitting far away from the rest of the group. He and Dean had a quick exchange of words, before the man walked over to the bench where Yakko was sitting.
"Are you okay, kid?" Joey asked, a soft look in his eyes. "You're looking glum again."
"I'm alright," muttered Yakko.
His response caused Joey to frown. He sat down on the bench next to Yakko, putting a hand behind his back. Yakko turned his head to look at Joey, seeing his pupils darken in the fluorescent lights of the room.
"You messed up another movement, didn't you?"
"Yes," Yakko said, resisting the urge to cry. "I was trying to make a king cobra with my hammerspace, but all that came out was a dinky worm. I must have pulled out too early."
"That's a good assessment," Joey nodded. "The incident from two weeks ago must have really muddied your mind, don't you think?"
"You can say that." He turned his gaze to the floor. He couldn't stand the intense look in Joey's eyes right now. "I just- d-don't know what's happened to me. I'm a hammerspace toon. I've always been."
"How can you be sure?" Joey put his finger under Yakko's chin. "You have plenty of talents under your belt. I've seen them." When Yakko's eyes trailed off, Joey added: "You're very observational, you know that?"
This did the trick. "I do notice a lot," replied Yakko, still frowning, "but not all of it is funny. I'm only good at observing things some of the time."
Dr Scratchansniff must have picked up on their conversation, as he suddenly teleported over to where Yakko and Joey were talking.
"I zink zis is somezing ve should talk about in my office, ja?"
Yakko gasped, not noticing Scratchy hovering over him until now. The bald doctor had leaned close to him, his glasses dangling from the edge of his nose. He was standing so close to him that Yakko could hear him breathe, his nose inhaling and exhaling in a rhythmic pattern.
His gape of surprise quickly changed into a bitter glower. He thought it was rude for the doctor to interrupt a personal conversation between him and Joey.
"I don't want your help," Yakko told him, bluntly, "Go away."
Joey suppressed a laugh, choosing to keep a serious gaze in this moment.
Dr Scratchansniff's eyebrows furrowed. "Vhy not? It is my duty at Varner Brothers to ensure ze vell being of ze actors around here. Vhen an actor has a problem, ze should come to me, no?"
Yakko tilted his head. "What are you saying?"
"Vhat?"
"I mean, I can't understand you," he clarified, "You're talking so fast. It's like you have a sock in your mouth."
This remark caused Joey to laugh out loud. He didn't bother containing it this time, the comment having come out of nowhere.
"Well, you do have quite the accent, Scratchy," Joey said, wiping his eyes.
Dr Scratchansniff wasn't as amused. He had scrunched up his face, glaring at Yakko and Joey through his tiny spectacles.
Yakko, meanwhile, had raised an eyebrow. He wasn't sure why Joey found his remark to be so humorous – he was only speaking the truth. Was it the way he said it that made it funny?
Upon further speculation, he realized that Joey wasn't the only one who was laughing. Wakko and Dot were giggling, too, repeating how Scratchy talked with a sock in his mouth. Even Dean had begun chuckling, feeding off the humor of the moment. His jab at the bald physiatrist had caught the attention of everyone, bringing on a wave of laughter.
Everyone's laughing it seems, Yakko thought, reading the room. They all loved my joke. They think I'm funny.
Realizing this, Yakko found himself smirking. Everyone seems to enjoy these types of remarks, and he's got a bunch of cards up in his sleeve. If the people were happy with it, Yakko figured he might as well go full throttle. Scratchy deserved it, after barging in on his space.
"And can we talk about that bald head of yours," Yakko jibed, pretending to be disgusted, "Not a single strain of hair in your scalp."
"VHAT!?"
Joey let out a cackle. He was still chuckling at what Yakko had said previously, but this line caused him to laugh harder than before. Wakko had collapsed onto the ground, kicking his legs as he fell into a fit of laughter. Dot continued to laugh harder, too, soon tumbling after Wakko, kicking her feet.
Scratchy's head twitched, his face turned a deep red color. Obviously, he was offended by this remark. This delighted Yakko, giving him the incentive to ridicule him even more.
"Not to mention that nose," he mocked, poking his finger against the doctor's nose. "How do you go about your life with a pickle on your face?"
Scratchy gasped, covering his hands over his nose. "VELL, I NEVA!!" he shouted, spit flying out of his mouth.
Yakko wiped his face. "Jee, I didn't know it was supposed to rain today."
This sent Joey flying onto the floor. Yakko didn't know whether it was Scratchy's exasperated reaction or his seamless delivery that got him. Either way, Joey was roaring with laughter, banging his fist against the concrete floor. Tears were streaming down his face; he was beginning to look more red than Scratchy.
Speaking of Scratchy, his face had twisted into a brutal scowl. The physiatrist was grinding his teeth, his shoulders hunched, and his eyes were twitching rapidly.
He raised a finger af Yakko. " You. Y-y-you…you-"
"Come on, spit it out," urged Yakko, his smirk growing wider by the second.
"Y-you…YOU LITTLE STINK!!" Scratchy snapped. His face was so red now that Yakko was starting to think the doctor might literally explode.
"Scratchy! You look constipated!"
Scratchy's eyes widened. His head jolted to his side to where Wakko was. The boy wore a toothy grin, feeling most proud of his statement.
This crude remark caused Dean to wheeze, before he collapsed into a fit of laughter just like the rest of the group. He was laughing particularly hard, knowing that he was the one who taught Wakko that word.
"Good one, Wak!" He praised, holding his hands over his stomach as he let out a barrage of laughter.
Yakko had hounded his brother previously for his potty humor, but even he had to admit that Wakko's delivery was phenomenal. Yakko found himself laughing just as hard as the rest of the group. He couldn't help it. Their laughter was echoing off the walls of the rec room; it was impossible not to laugh at this moment.
Scratchy growled, he was largely outnumbered by their howling laughter. Steam was bellowing from the doctor's shiny forehead. He clenched his fists, so hard in fact that he crushed his coffee cup, spilling hot coffee all over the place. This only added to the psychiatrist's rage.
"RAAAAGHHHH!!" He shrieked, throwing his hands on his head. "You people are INSANE!!"
No one seemed to listen. Everyone was too busy laughing at Scratchy's misfortune. They had made him the butt of the joke – it was far too late to backtrack from this.
"ZATS! IT!" Scratchy yelled, throwing his crumpled cup onto the floor. "I'M LEAVING YOU JERKS!!" With an exasperated growl, he stormed out of the facility, muttering curses to himself as he did so.
Again, nobody cared that they had offended Dr Scratchansniff. In Yakko's perspective, he had told the doctor exactly what he needed to hear, and got the whole room laughing up a storm while doing so.
The laugh fest would seize a short time later. Yakko pulled himself off the floor, wiping joyful tears from his eyes. His stomach hurt from laughing so hard, but he felt it was totally worth it. He didn't remember the last time he had laughed this hard. Nonetheless, it felt so good to laugh.
"Hoo! I need to laugh like that more often," Joey said, his face red from laughing so hard. "I have to hand it to you, Yakko. I have never seen anybody rip into someone the way you just did."
"I agree with Joester!" added Dean, sitting up on the floor. "You were awesome!"
Yakko felt himself grin. He almost couldn't believe himself for what he just did. He hadn't planned that one bit – it all seemed to come to him after hearing Joey pipe up with his contagious laugh.
What was even more surprising than that was when Wakko and Dot rushed towards him and threw their arms around his waist. Yakko's eyes widened slightly, but he soon put his own arms around his sibs. It had been a long time since either Wakko or Dot willingly gave him affection.
"I guess I'm not an old man anymore, sibs," Yakko told them.
"No, you're still old," replied Dot, "but you're funny."
"Yeah!" Wakko agreed. "Old man scratchy has a sock in his mouth! And he's a big meanie, too!"
"He's mean, alright," Yakko said, ruffling his brother's head. "Scratchy was getting too close for my liking, so I hit it straight back at him. I don't mean to brag, but I think I brought much more to the table."
"I thought you were only good at observing things part of the time," Joey teased. "What happened to that, Yakko?"
Yakko scratched the back of his shoulder. "Well, I'm not always on target." He admitted. "I ought to miss the mark at some point."
"I'm only joking, kid," said Joey. He walked up and wrapped an arm around Yakko. "You made me laugh – that's all that matters."
Yakko had fixated his eyes on Joey's face, where a genuine smile had emerged. The fact that he had been the one to make him smile urged him to smile too. He felt a warm feeling emerge inside him, seeing everyone around him laughing in unison, embracing the hilarity of the situation. They had caused a wave of joy to run rampant in this tiny room, and it was near impossible not to embrace that joy.
Suddenly, Yakko felt as if something had changed about him. Prior to now, he had pushed himself so hard on his physique to the point of exhaustion. He would attempt ambitious movements beyond what his body was able to comprehend, only to fail on himself time and time again. His siblings would ridicule him, his instructors left worried sick. He may have the power at his disposal, but Yakko could never get his hammerspace to work in the way he wanted it to.
When he heard those words roll out of his mouth like a boulder, followed by the hollar of laughter from Joey and his siblings, it sparked a feeling in his brain of a side of him he never really explored. Once the boulder had been moved, it was impossible for Yakko to stop, and he was able to turn simple observations into snarky comebacks with ease.
Really, it was that laughter, the contagious laughter which swallowed the room whole, that allowed Yakko to go on for as long as he did. Wakko and Dot weren't picking on him anymore, and Joey and Dean didn't have a single worry on their mind.
"Maybe," Yakko thought aloud, "this back and forth sort of exchange could work out for me." He glanced at Joey, watching his grin widen. "What do you think?"
"Whatever you want, kid," Joey reiterated. "Personally, I like this banter of yours. There's certainly a lot of people out there that deserve the kind of treatment you gave Doctor Scratchy."
The answer was clear as day. If witty banter was what got people to laugh, then that was what Yakko was going to base his routine on.
"Thanks, Joey," he told the man, feeling most grateful for his insight. "I think I'll start working on this whole banter thing."
"Sounds like a plan," Joey said, "I should definitely use more laughter in my life."
"Maybe we should start working that into the lesson plan," Dean mentioned, taking a glance at the sheet of paper. "Hammer time with a side of zany jokes? Whatcha say, Yakster?"
Yakko began to feel that ambitious sensation vibrate inside him again, only this time his intentions were a little different. He was already relishing the idea of coming up with new comebacks that would tickle Dean's funny bone. There was quite a lot on his mind for someone his age.
"Oh, just you wait, LightningRod, old pal!" Yakko said, ominously. "Just you wait!"
