Thank you so, so much for the reviews on the last chapter. FireandBlood, you're always so nice and encouraging. (I feel like that's an underwhelming description of how nice you are, but it's what I could come up with. Nothing will describe how supportive you are). LuvReading, sorry you missed the notification for the last chapter. I hope you get notified for this chapter! The site is so fickle with notifications. I'm so appreciative of your reading and comments. Thank you! Kaycee, thank you so much for reading. I agree, every chapter is too short. Lol. If I had my way, I would be writing much longer chapters and posting more often. I wish I could squeeze more writing into my days! Thank you so much for your comment and for reading!

Chapter 33

Lucy listened to the rain outside. The thunder, fading into the distance. Flashes of lightning illuminating her room briefly. None of it made her heart race. Not right now. Not when she was tucked in against Chris.

His breaths were slow and even, his chest rising against her back. His arm was heavy across her waist, but it was a secure weight.

She had never been held like this. She hadn't imagined being held like this.

She closed her eyes, holding back the emotion that threatened to spill into tears. Drew a long breath.

"You alright?"

Chris' voice was low, husky with tiredness. She hadn't realized he was still awake.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Lucy whispered.

"You didn't." Chris was quiet. There was no censure in his voice.

They lay in silence. Chris' steady breaths a peaceful sound in the room.

"The storm botherin' you?" he asked.

"Not tonight," Lucy answered truthfully. She felt her cheeks warm. Not with Chris there with her. Not with…the things he had made her feel.

"Don't think I'll ever see a storm the same way," Chris said and she could hear the humor in his voice.

She definitely wouldn't see a storm the same way.

He moved his arm, his hand going to her shoulder, brushing lightly against her skin. He caressed her shoulder, across her shoulder blade, the skin across her back that was left exposed by her chemise.

"What happened?" he asked, a finger tracing a line down her back. She felt the chemise shift slightly when his finger followed the line beneath the fabric.

She knew what he was tracing. Knew what he was seeing if he looked. She had never been so exposed to anyone before. No one besides Eli Joe. The man who had put the marks on her.

"It was a horsewhip," she managed. She wasn't sure if he heard the words beneath the rain outside. Shame made her skin crawl. She could almost feel the puckered scar on her back rising up to be more noticeable to Chris. The burn on her hand. The line Eli Joe's knife had left on her upper arm.

She felt Chris hand gently leave the long scar on her back and move to the old knife cut. He touched that mark.

Lucy pulled at the sheet, wanting to cover the blemishes. Hide the ugliness that marred her from Chris.

"Come here," he said.

Lucy gripped the sheet around her. Chris kept a hand on the scar under the sheet.

His hand was warm, not pressuring her to turn toward him. He didn't order her. And that's what made it easier to slowly roll over. But she couldn't look up at his face.

She had been so lost in the heat and passion earlier, she hadn't thought of the ugly scars. Hadn't worried about Chris seeing them.

She kept her eyes on his adam's apple, under scratchy stubble. Chris took her hand. Moved it to his chest.

She felt the raised ridges of puckered skin there. Her eyes moved to see her fingers held to a ridged scar. Chris moved her hand to his shoulder. An angry line of scar tissue ran there, paler than the skin around it. Then to his side, low near his waist. Another scar.

"People do some awful things," he said.

She looked again at the myriad of scars on Chris.

"What happened?" she asked, lightly touching the scar low on his side.

"Bullet," he answered succinctly.

Lucy looked up, met his eyes. She didn't want to think of him being shot.

"Some people don't find me all that likeable," he said drily.

Lucy ran her fingers over the old wound on his chest.

"Another bullet," he said.

She touched the long line on his shoulder.

"Knife."

Her brow furrowed. It didn't take much imagination to picture Chris fighting someone off, getting a long slice from the other man's knife.

"Turns out quite a few people don't like me," he said.

"I like you," Lucy said without thinking.

Even in the dark, Lucy could see Chris' face soften.

The thunder was nothing more than a distant rumble now.

Chris' hand moved to her cheek, rested there. He kissed her softly. Brushed her hair back from her face with a gentle hand. Lucy closed her eyes at the touch. Savored the feel of his touch.

He pressed a kiss to the old knife wound on her upper arm. He ran a hand down her arm to her wrist and lifted her hand. Kissed the burn scarring the back of it. There was another scar, on her collarbone. Chris kissed that burn.

Every touch of his lips set the old injuries aflame. But not with shame. Not with pain. With a heat that only Chris stirred in her. One that traveled over her entire body, setting her aflame.

When Chris made her feel that way, it was only natural for her shyness to fall aside. For her to want to make him feel the way he made her feel.

She did her best to make him feel those things.

#

The steady rain had slowed to a silent drizzle when Lucy opened her eyes. She felt a quick movement next to her.

A knock on the door. That's what had woken her. Chris was sitting up, reaching past her for her gun, pulling it from the holster that hung from her bedpost.

Eyes wide, she looked to Chris.

Chris looked at the gun, like he hadn't realized hearing a knock on the door had him reaching for a gun before he was fully awake.

The sheets covered Chris to his waist. Lucy blushed and pulled the blanket closer to her.

"Miss Lucy?" came a youthful voice.

JD. The youngest of her brother's friends. Chris let out a sigh and pulled his thumb off the hammer. He reached across Lucy again to holster his weapon. Lucy felt her blush deepen at how close he was in the room lit by the dim light that broke through the morning.

She blinked at Chris, then shook her attention from him to the man on the other side of the door.

She tried to slide from the bed, keeping the blanket over her and reached for her chemise on the floor.

"Miss Lucy?" came JD's voice again.

Lucy didn't think her face could burn any hotter. She slipped the chemise over her head and reached for her dress. She fought the buttons with uncooperative fingers.

She started to open the door, then darted a glance at Chris, bare chested and in her bed, no sign he was the least bit embarrassed.

Her face was near to catching on fire. She shifted so she could open the door the slightest crack, blocking any view of her bed.

"Is—is something wrong?" she asked JD. Sudden fear twined through her stomach. "Is it Vin? Is it—is…" She couldn't bring herself to say Eli Joe's name. Was he on his way? Her fingers gripped the door.

"No, no nothing's wrong," JD assured her. "I didn't mean to make you worry."

"Oh. Ok. Good," she breathed. She held the door more tightly as her knees went weak with relief.

"I was just wondering if you knew where Chris is?"

Oh. Ooohhhh. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth. She glanced over at her bed.

Chris was leaning back against the plain headboard, listening to the exchange. His expression didn't change, but she saw the glint of amusement in his eyes. She bit her lip harder.

"I…you…you need him for something?" she asked.

"I had a question about the sheriff duties," JD said. "I needed to ask Chris. Have you seen him?"

Her fingers couldn't possibly dig into the door any harder. From the corner of her eye, she saw Chris' mouth twitch in the hint of humor.

"No one's been able to find him all morning. Do you have any idea where he could be?

When Lucy didn't—couldn't—answer, JD's brow furrowed. "Are you alright? You look kind of red. Like you're overheating."

"He…" What was she supposed to say? Just tell JD that Chris had spent the night in her room? With her? Really with her? Open the door and let him see the man sitting in her bed like he didn't have a care in the world?

"I'm sorry to bother you," JD said. "I just thought maybe you'd know his plans for the day. Do you think he'll have time to stop by the jail later this morning?"

She wanted to tell him she didn't have any idea of what Chris' plans were, and why should she know his plans? But then she glanced Chris' way against her will and he gave her a small nod.

She was supposed to pass that answer onto JD? Chris' grin was teasing. Almost a challenge.

She quickly bit her lips together before a laugh escaped.

"I think he could—could…he should be there. I mean, I'll—I'll tell him. If I see him."

JD was nodding. "Thanks, ma'am." He gave his hat a tip and stepped back from the door. Then paused. "You sure you're ok?"

Lucy nodded jerkily and quickly shut the door in his face.

"If you see me?" Chris asked.

Lucy turned to finally look at him fully.

Chris didn't look perturbed about her awkward conversation in the least. In fact, he didn't look perturbed about anything as he moved to the edge of the bed and reached for his clothes.

Lucy quickly lowered her eyes. She listened to his movements, not looking at him until she heard him lift the gunbelt from the bedpost.

He fastened it without effort as he moved toward the door. But he stopped next to her.

Lucy looked up. Her heart skipped at his nearness. How could it still skip beats with him just standing close? After last night, standing by him shouldn't be cause for nerves or…or…more desire.

Was he going to gloss over last night? Give her distance like he had been? She didn't know what to expect. She had no experience with a man like this.

He bent down to give her a kiss. Firm, no doubt or confusion in it. But gentle. Just like he had been all night.

"I'll go hunt down JD, get his questions answered," he said. "You want me to walk you over to the café? Bring you to wherever Vin might be?"

Vin. Having the man she had just spent the night doing…things….with, walking her over to her brother would be more than awkward. It would be nerve wracking. She was sure Vin would take one look at her and know everything.

She wasn't ashamed. She and Chris had said vows. They might not have meant them at the time, but they were married. Technically. Well, more than just technically after last night.

Were they really married? Is that what this meant? Lucy tried to stop the thoughts that came flying in faster than she could process them.

Chris' face was creasing into concern. She needed to answer him.

"I'll just…the kitchen downstairs. I can—can eat here. In the kitchen." Away from whatever clientele might be out front. Away from her brother and JD and whoever else she might have to face.

Chris nodded. He made a move like he was going to open the door, then paused, looking down at her dress. "You need help with those?" There was that subtle light of humor in his eyes.

Lucy looked down at the buttons she had fastened in haste. She had missed at least two. And another two were in the wrong buttonhole. She quickly fixed them. Then went to her dresser and found a thin white ribbon. She braided her hair hurriedly and tied it off. She looked to Chris for approval.

His expression didn't change. "You looked just as good before," he said without any sign of impatience. This time he opened the door and held it for her.

Lucy was all too aware of his hand brushing the small of her back when she went through. His warmth was more familiar than ever when he went down the stairs next to her.

It was good he was going over to the jail for JD. She was sure she would pass out from his proximity if he was near her any longer.

"You send Ezra or Buck for me if you need anything," Chris said in parting when they got to the bottom of the stairs.

Lucy nodded.

Chris' face was schooled in the expression she had grown used to seeing. Already thinking of what JD might need. Guarded, aware of what was happening in the town around him.

And then his face softened for just a moment. Just for her. "I'll see you later," he said.

Lucy felt her own expression relax into something softer. Something just for him. She nodded again.

Chris headed for the door, and she headed toward Inez' kitchen. She was hungry, but also sure she wouldn't need food to fuel her. Not when she had that look of Chris' to carry her through the day.

#

Mary squeezed Billy's hand. She had known how fragile life was ever since her husband had been killed. She had known, and that's why she had sent Billy to live with his grandparents. But having been taken with Billy, seeing her son in the hands of those bank robbers, she was being reminded with every breath how easily she could lose him.

Billy looked up at her and grinned. His deputy badge was pinned prominently on his shirt front. He fidgeted against the sling holding his arm. She was just about to tell him to leave it alone when his face lit up.

"Vin!" he shouted.

Mary looked to see Vin in front of the jail, relaxed back in a chair, feet propped up on the rail.

At Billy's shout, he stood, heading toward them, his smile nearly matching Billy's. And Mary's. She realized she was smiling back at him. His easy presence had a way of lightening her heavy thoughts.

"Mornin', Deputy," he said. Then turned to Mary. His smile didn't dim, but it softened. "Mary."

"Vin," she responded. His name came out the way he made her feel. Warm. Cared for.

"You two headed for breakfast?" Vin asked.

"The café," Billy said. "I'm gettin' a whole heap of flapjacks."

"Good plan," Vin said. "A deputy needs his strength."

"Would you like to join us?" Mary asked. "I'd…I'd like your opinion on something."

Vin's worry showed in the crease of his forehead, but he didn't push for information. In his patient way, he gave her space to talk when she was ready.

It wasn't until they had finished breakfast, Billy making both of them laugh with his chatter and a spot on impression of Buck.

"Should we see if Josiah needs some help over at the church, Pard?" Vin asked Billy. "If it's ok with your ma?" He looked to Mary in question.

Mary nodded, appreciating that he was setting up a way for her to talk to him out of earshot of Billy.

Billy jogged ahead of them on the short walk to the church. When Billy banged through the door, Mary hurried her pace, intending to remind him to be respectful of others' property. Especially when it was a church.

But Billy was already at the front of the church, chattering away with Lucy.

Lucy leaned in, listening intently to what Billy told her. A hint of a smile ghosted around her lips and she nodded along.

"Hey, Josiah," Vin greeted the other man. Josiah gave him and Mary a nod. "You ok with Billy here for a bit?"

"The more the merrier," Josiah answered. Mary wondered how true that would be if there was more than one spirited little boy in the church, but Lucy was already handing Billy a rag and a jar of wax, pointing to the pew she had been working on. She silently noted the look of peace on Lucy's face. Something she hadn't seen before.

"You need anything, Luce?" Vin asked.

Mary saw the flash of something across Lucy's expression. Just a quick guarding of her expression when she looked at Vin. But then it passed and Lucy shook her head.

Vin nodded and turned to escort Mary outside.

Mary turned her thoughts from Vin's sister to what she wanted to talk to him about. She took a moment to gather her thoughts.

"You know I sent Billy to live with Orren and Evie because it was safer for him."

"I remember you sayin' that," he said.

They walked away from the church, down the dusty track that headed out of town. The wildflowers were blooming in the overgrown fields on either side. A few scrub trees this close to town. Mary loved this town. She knew the people here. This was where she and Stephen had chosen to settle and to start his newspaper. Where they had planned to raise Billy.

"It's not safe," she said.

Vin didn't argue. She knew he couldn't argue with that. Not after she and Billy had been taken hostage.

She sighed heavily. "But does that mean he can never come here? Never visit?" It was the question that had been keeping her up at night. "I can't not see my son, Vin," she said adamantly. She looked over at him. The look she had seen on Lucy's face crossed Vin's and she realized how similar they really were. He was guarded, ready for something.

"You're leavin'?" Vin said.

"What?" Mary asked. Just hearing him say the words she had never even considered was a jolt. "No. No, of course not," she shook her head.

Vin's shoulders lifted and fell in a long sigh. "That's…good."

"I started thinking of how little time I have with Billy. And if something did happen, how much time I would have squandered with him away from me." She hoped that didn't sound selfish. She looked to Vin and voiced the concern. "I suppose that sounds selfish."

"No. It sounds like a ma who loves her son."

His words reassured the uncertain places in her heart. They gave her the confidence to forge on. "I've been thinking. Maybe it's time for Billy to come home." Just saying the words made her want it that much more. "Home to stay."

Vin didn't immediately argue, he just turned those blue eyes on her, listening.

"Just because he's away from here, isn't a guarantee he'll be safe. And when something did happen, you were here. You protected him. Us."

Vin's steps slowed and he stopped walking, turning to face her. "I'll always protect you. You and Billy both."

She knew the words weren't an empty promise. She had seen him live those words out, saving both her and Billy.

"I left Lucy behind," Vin said. She saw how saying those words cut him. Admitting a failure. "I thought I was keepin' her safe. And it was the worst thing I could've done to her."

Mary reached out a hand and laced her fingers with Vin's. His calloused hand was steady in hers.

"And you can't make up for the time you lose with someone. You and Billy should be together. I'll make sure he's safe in town. You know Chris and Buck, Nathan, JD, Ezra, Josiah, we'll all look out for him."

Mary did know that. And that was why she had even started to consider bringing Billy home.

"He'll want a promotion to sheriff before too long, you know," she said.

Vin's grin stretched. "I'll let JD know he's got competition comin' his way."

Reluctantly, Mary withdrew her hand from his. He studied her for a minute, then reached out and took her hand back in his. He held it there as they walked back to the church.

#

Chris didn't know how anyone could have as many questions as JD. But the kid was serious about doing the job, and doing it right. So Chris had answered what he could and told JD the rest didn't matter. JD had taken that at face value and finally let Chris go.

Chris had seen Lucy walking toward the church earlier. He had kept an eye out the window of the jail until he lost sight of her. So he headed there now, relieved to be on his way to her.

When he opened the door to the church, it was buzzing with activity. Chris saw Vin repairing the door to Josiah's small quarters. Mary was sweeping. Billy was polishing up pews like the pope was on his way for a visit. Buck and Nathan were repairing the plaster walls.

There was Lucy. In the front pew, head bent over fabric, needle in hand.

He headed toward her.

Her slight frame was in a demure dress, cuffs modestly covering her wrists, ankles crossed and tucked under the pew beneath her. Her braid fell over one shoulder as she worked. She was the picture of chaste innocence. And Chris couldn't stop from seeing her as he had last night. Skin exposed, hair tumbling down her back. Trusting him with everything she was.

She looked up and saw him. He was ready for her to duck her head and lower her eyes. But instead she looked up at him through lowered lashes. Her cheeks flushed lightly.

He had seen her face pale when approached by men, the pink tinting her cheeks was new. It drew him closer.

"You found JD?" she asked.

"Thanks for tellin' me he was lookin' for me," he said.

She bit back the start of a smile, her blush deepening.

"Hey Chris," Vin nodded to him.

"You sleep in this morning, Larabee?" Buck called over to him.

Lucy jumped, the needle poking her finger. She blushed more deeply. Chris wasn't about to embarrass her worse.

Buck, however, had no idea. "You get any sleep last night?" he asked, his voice loud in the church.

Lucy's entire face was pink. Chris shot a dark look at Buck, wondering how he could already know about a private moment between Chris and Lucy. One Chris didn't want to share with the entire group.

"The storm?" Buck said, brow knitting at Chris' look. "Raged on half the night. I sure couldn't sleep a wink with all that noise."

From the corner of his eye, he saw Lucy's shoulders relax. She clearly didn't want to announce what they shared to an entire room of men any more than he did.

"Didn't notice it all that much," he said. It earned him a look from Lucy. One half appreciative and half intimate.

"Was wonderin' if you wanted to get out of town for a bit. Maybe do a little target practice," he asked, turning his back on Buck.

If he hadn't already known the woman had got under his skin, the way her eyes lit at the suggestion of going shooting would have chased away any doubt. She was unlike any woman Chris had known.

She tied off her stitches, then stood, shaking out the fabric. "Curtains for Josiah's living quarters," she said as she folded them, then laid them on the pew.

He reached out and brushed her hand with his. Color rose on her cheekbones again. Keeping that color in her face could easily become his new distraction. He stepped away from her and motioned for her to go first.

"You headin' out?" Josiah asked.

Lucy's face sobered. "I finished hemming some curtains. But I can stay and—"

Josiah cut her off. "Thanks for your help, Miss Lucy. You go ahead and enjoy your day."

Chris gave Josiah a nod, his hand going to Lucy's back to escort her out.

"I'll be holding a service tomorrow morning," Josiah said. "If you two are still in town."

Lucy's face lifted with interest before she caught herself and cast a look to Chris, schooling her face into something more passive. As soon as Chris saw the look on her face at Josiah's invitation, he resigned himself to being in the front row tomorrow morning.

"We'll see you tomorrow," he said to Josiah.

They walked in silence over to the saloon. Chris had the pistol he had bought for Lucy in his room.

"We can see if Ezra has some bottles he's done with. Shoot 'em up. There's a ravine a couple miles from town that's good for that."

Lucy nodded. They went up the stairs together. He opened the door to his room. He went in and went to his dresser. He had unpacked the gun into the drawer the day before. He turned to hand it to Lucy and realized she was still in the doorway.

"Here," he said, holding the gun out to her.

She came into the room and took the pistol.

"It's yours," he said. "You should keep it with you. Meant to hand it off to you, but then I got sick." He frowned, still annoyed he had got knocked down so easily by illness. But she had been there tending him. It had been a long time since someone had taken care of him. He looked at her, the soft wisps of hair that had come free from her braid and tickling her cheeks only adding to her youthful innocence.

"We should get some more bullets at the mercantile," he said, saying the words without really thinking about them. His focus was on Lucy standing so close to him. The blue of her eyes. The smell of lavender. "Want to keep plenty on hand in case you need them."

She nodded.

Getting her that lavender soap was the most foolish thing he had ever done.

She drew her lip in between her teeth and everything in Chris responded to the simple gesture.

They had to get out of the room before he forgot entirely what he was doing.

He used every bit of control to get himself in hand and move back toward the door. When she brushed against him leaving the room, he nearly lost it. He was like a fool teenager around her.

She helped him gather the box of old cans and cast off bottles Ezra had, then walked to the livery with him. She had offered to carry the box. He had caught himself before he snapped out the anger at what Eli Joe had ingrained in her, instead assuring her he had it.

They saddled horses, transferred their targets to the saddlebags and headed out, bottles clinking along with the sound of hoofbeats.

Chris thought he could get used to riding with Lucy alongside him.

#

Lucy held the gun uncertainly in her hands while Chris went to set cans on the boulders down in the ravine they had ridden into.

She knew how to handle a firearm. She had known most her life. Vin had seen to that. But then he had told her she shouldn't have a gun right now. She had understood. She didn't hold it against Vin. She wasn't the same anymore. She wouldn't want a fearful person handling a gun. There was too much risk of shooting the wrong person when you jumped at every shadow.

Chris was striding back toward her.

"You need help loading that?" he asked.

She shook her head, not about to make him do the work. She quickly pulled bullets from the box Chris had purchased and loaded six rounds into the revolver.

Chris didn't look uneasy in the slightest about her handling the gun near him. She liked that about him. She liked the way he didn't treat her like she was broken. It was like he didn't see her as damaged. It made her feel like maybe she wasn't beyond repair.

"Go ahead," Chris said, with a nod toward the cans.

Lucy aimed at the first can, squeezed off a shot and sent it jumping off the rock. Then went down the line, jolting the next five cans into the air.

Chris was grinning when she looked over at him.

"Don't know why I thought you might want to get comfortable with your new piece," he said. "You don't need any practice."

"When…" she caught herself, pulling her lip between her teeth to catch herself before she spoke out of turn.

Chris looked at her, waiting for her to finish.

"When Vin and I were younger, we'd race. Draw and see who shot the cans first."

"You challenging me, ma'am?" Chris asked.

Her cheeks heated at his humor. She had only been remembering those days when it had been her and Vin. She hadn't meant to make a suggestion of how Chris shoot with her. She hesitated, then she risked returning his tone. "Are you scared you'll lose?"

His chuckle eased her nerves. "Let's line 'em up."

Lucy went with him to line up the cans again.

"You can call the draw," Chris said.

She had always been given that advantage when she and Vin had first done this. And then he had started insisting they take turns calling for the start when she was beating him more easily.

She and Chris lined up side by side. She took a breath, made sure her gun was down by her side. Holsters weren't something she could wear with skirts, so she and Chris both held their guns loosely at their sides.

Chris was evenly matched with Vin. Which meant he was evenly matched with her. Chris didn't seem annoyed when he lost to her. If anything, he seemed to enjoy seeing her beat him.

When he narrowly won their last round, he turned to her, gun barrel still smoking in his hand.

"Next time we're betting on this," he said. "I ain't gonna be able to win without some motivation."

Lucy bit back her smile. He wasn't angry at her for outshooting him some rounds. She had been flustered the first couple rounds and he had beat her soundly. But then she had settled in. Seen he wasn't getting riled at the competition. And she had won. The first time she had won, he had grinned at her. And that was all she needed to let her guard down and keep going.

He glanced up at the sky. "We should get heading back. Looks like it could rain again tonight."

It was a reflex to have her stomach pitch at the thought of a coming storm.

She gathered the cans with Chris. They left the bottles stacked near a cavern, ready to be used by the next person who found their way out here for target practice.

Back in town, they brought their horses back to the livery, then walked the easy distance to the saloon.

The other men were already gathered around a table, food in front of them. Inez greeted them and said she'd have food right out for Chris and Lucy.

Lucy let Chris pull out a chair for her. Nearly shivered at the simple pleasure of his hand brushing her shoulder when he sat down next to her.

When the rain started outside, her breath caught in her throat. But no thunder followed. She looked around the table.

JD and Buck argued about something she couldn't follow. Nathan was lecturing Ezra on the hazard of selling some man's homemade rotgut. Josiah's deep laugh rumbled out when Ezra responded. And Vin listened to it without comment. He caught her eye and smiled at her. Lucy returned it with a small smile of her own.

These men were gathered around, drinking. But they wouldn't turn into Eli Joe or his men. They were trustworthy.

She couldn't go back with Eli Joe.

She moved closer to Chris when Inez came over and pulled up a chair for herself, after setting plates in front of Chris and Lucy.

Lucy looked at Chris.

This was where she wanted to stay.

#